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Lifetime Wisdom
Invite the pain in, sit with it and ask it what you can learn from it. What does it want?
Make sure you don’t do a relationships just to get validation of yourself and escapism from yourself, as then you weren’t truly connecting with somebody and have intimacy.
Become aware of your psychological pain, this will help guide you through your life of knowing what you should be doing and what you shouldn’t be doing.
You may be doing something that on the physical level gives you pleasure, but if you look at your psyche it’s causing your pain.
This is a great way to know what you really should be doing.
Psychology Leave a comment December 18, 2021 1 Minute
How con artists work and get away with itPeople get so excited they don’t even look deeper at what’s real.
The salesperson encourages people to dream about the product, then people in their greed don’t look at what’s really there.
As a result it’s only possible to cheat a greedy person, as an person won’t get so excited by greed that they don’t look properly into it.
A greedy person would also be so greedy that they justified themselves that is real, even when it isn’t.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment November 8, 2021 1 MinuteCommiting suicideSome people want to commit suicide because they feel huge amounts of shame.
This is often because they were taught to do things in their formative years, such as maintain a family business and they failed.
As they are not doing or achieving what the tribe says they should be, they are ashamed.
It shows how big pride is from doing what the tribe tells them they should be achieving.
ready8 Uncategorized Leave a comment September 2, 2021 1 MinuteBeing engaging with an audienceEngaging people is about energy, whether it’s your movement, emotions feelings, and so on. These are just ways of conveying and giving energy. You need to have lots of energy as that’s what people want.
When you get it right, you are giving so much it’s almost like putting on a dance or spectacular for people.
You mustn’t be at all uncomfortable as then you will make the audience uncomfortable. You can do many bad things on stage, but that is the worst one that is unforgivable as it will repel people.
You mustn’t think about yourself, or how you were coming over, this is ego. If you think about yourself, what people think of you, what they are thinking about how you look and so on, you will become defensive.
If you are being defensive then you cannot openly put all into pleasing the audience.
You have to listen to the audience and please them. Then if they are pleased you will be engaging them.
The audience is interesting, has their lives, and each person has different needs and wants, you must listen to the audience.
If you are interested in what you are doing, other people will be as well. You must have a passion, energy and enthusiasm about what you’re doing. You must also be really excited about it, so they are too.
You also have to sell it, if you think it’s brilliant, other people will as well. You have to behave and be like what you are doing is brilliant.
You also have to be happy, people like to be with people who are happy.
You also behave like you love the person, nothing is too much trouble, you would do anything for them as you love them so much.
Being entertaining is also important, people love to be entertained, such as by telling jokes. If you are boring then nobody wants to be with you.
It’s about life, being alive, having fun.
Whatever it is, even if it’s boring, you can make it fun. Bring in dancing, music, jokes, be fun and all kinds of fun stuff.
All these things also make you charming as people want to be with you.
You have to be honest, bleeding your heart out, say the honest truth of who you are (eg. even if you are not a great person, lonely, scared to death).
You have to bare your soul, not pull any punches, be authentically you. Do not pretend to be better or more talented than you are, just be raw. Then when other people cry, you will cry and have a real human connection that is not scary and it feels good. Then people will be good to you.
Confidence
Steve Martin said of his stand up act.
“When I first started, I decided to fake confidence, because I thought it was important that they sensed I believed. If I was slightest bit nervous about something they could smell it and then they would become judges. If I was the slightest bit nervous about something they could smell it, and they would be
But if I was confident, it’s like “I don’t care what you think.” That worked “I don’t care what you think.”
Lots of energy for the audience
You have to have lots of energy for the audience, it’s what people want.
Before your performance, make sure you have lots of energy and have it to give and put into things
To have lots of energy, relax, dance, sing whatever you have to do to energize yourself and be happy.
Being passionate about it is contagious
Joe Rogan says he’ll watch somebody doing all kinds of subjects if they’re passionate about it as that is contagious.
It’s great to watch people who are interested in things, fascinated and in love with what they’re doing.
People who are smiling with their whole face about something.
If you love the subject and what you are doing
As always, love is the answer.
If you love what you’re doing, and the subject, then people will be interested and love watching it.
If you massively love it, then people will love it even more and want to watch what you are doing.
Be authentic and not fake.
You also have to be enthusiastic about things, if you are enthusiastic about what you’re talking about, other people will be as well. If you are interested in what you’re doing, other people will be as well. This is what makes the most engaging YouTubers and podcasters.
If you making content that you don’t care about. For example, just to make money, audiences can smell this authenticity. Audiences can tell when someone is not authentic.
It helps if you know you’re making content that you care about, you know it helps people you care about.
You also need to be fun, have fun in a way that other people enjoy that with you, be fun. People will even want to do what you do, because you’re fun.
The best way to get people to ignore you, is to be really boring.
Nuseir Yassin from Nas Daly
Be engaging.
Scream, smile, do whatever you can to get people to pay attention.
Are you enjoying it?
If you are enjoying it, other people will too.
You need to take care of yourself, so you can enjoy it.
If you’re not enjoying it, other people will be able to feel it and will not like watching you.
If you enjoy it, then you’ll think it’s all good and will like what you’re doing, so other people will as well.
You need to have fun, be interested in what you’re doing, and let it show.
If you are interested in what you are doing, other people will be as well.
Other things
You need to make yourself fun and enjoyable to watch.
People want to be happy, so you have to be really happy and people will want that. If you are on YouTube, then you have to be insanely or extremely happy.
You must have confidence in the content you’re delivering, for example don’t be like you are just filling time because you have nothing else to say.
It has to be fun, an event, a party.
You also have to be relatable, so people can see their own lives in you, they relate to you and feel how similar you are to them.
You say something and they think it’s funny and relate to it, because it’s something they do as well. Like getting hungry and raiding the fridge at 3am, eating food that is unhealthy and you shouldn’t be eating.
Look into the lense, not the picture of yourself if there is one.
Be certain about things and not uncertain. If you are not certain on something, then be certain about your uncertainty. If you say something without certainty it sounds like a question and you don’t know what you are talking about.
Like you are speaking to a close personal friend
On YouTube you need to speak to the person like they’re your closest friend, so they really feel they are getting to know you and they like you.
You can’t speak like you’re talking to the thousands, hundreds thousands, or million viewers that there are. You need to speak like you’re talking to one person.
Practice talking to the camera like the person watching the video is your closest friend.
You don’t do it like you’re talking to a massive audience, you do it like you’re talking to an individual friend.
It’s the same when you are in front of a massive audience, you look at the people like you’re talking to a close personal friend.
Even if you are the best expert and know more than they do, never talk down to people. Treat people with love and respect and talk up to them.
Be relaxed on stage
Don’t be uncomfortable, embarrassing or awkward as it won’t be nice for the viewer. They would also think you’re unprofessional and not like watching you.
After doing lots of public speaking or YouTube videos, you’ll get used to doing it, will feel comfortable and not awkward.
Don’t be stressed on camera or with an audience audience. Be relaxed.
You have to make it look like it’s easy. This is because if you make it look hard, the audience cannot relax and enjoy themselves.
Don’t
Don’t do things like you are seeking the audience’s approval of you. So don’t do things to get them to confirm their approval of you. A bit like when people look at you through the corner of their eye, to see if you thought something was funny.
If you don’t take yourself seriously, the audience will think they shouldn’t take you seriously. Then they think, why should they be listening to you. However you also have to balance that with not taking yourself too seriously, or won’t be engaging and fun too watch.
Don’t speak in monotone
Don’t speak in monotone, it makes it too boring to listen to your voice. You need to spice it up a bit. You need to be animated and interesting. You need to be varied with your voice tone and put interest into it.
For example, when you introducing something make it big as you’re saying that the thing that’s coming is big and amazing.
People are attracted to interesting things, such as when you hear someone shouting, you want to know what’s going on that’s causing the shouting. Being interesting attracts attention.
Do things intentionally
Don’t do non purposeful or unnecessary movement. Of course you need your hands to communicate, but most of the time when it is not purposeful or intentional, it’s not good.
You also need to be natural and not stiff like a board, it is natural to move around a bit and so on.
If someone on camera unconsciously just wanders off, such as looking away different directions, what they’re saying strays over the place and so on, it’s not engaging
Only move the video camera when it’s intentional or needed.
Speaking on camera
If someone asks you to speak to them, like you would on camera, they would see it as way too much for them.
A level 10 energy and excitement in front of the camera, appears like a 3 to the person watching it on their screen. So you really have to be amazingly excited to get that number up. You have to up the energy.
When doing a recording on YouTube, even if you feel you’re at an 8 energy, you’re probably at a 4
Some people find it hard when speaking to a camera, speaking like they would to a friend. That’s just because the camera is just a piece of electronics and they’re just looking into a camera lens. However, it’s what you have to do.
The way some people do it is even when they are recording to a camera, they’re thinking of the person like a friend who’s watching it.
How to get used to speaking to a camera
Carry the camera around and speak to it, do this in different places, including in public. This will get you out of your old habits.
It has to be personal
Laugh at yourself on camera, this is a good way to get people to like you as you are a real person who can laugh at themselves. It also gets you to loosen up. Read some jokes that you find funny, look into the camera lens and laugh, just so you get used to laughing on camera.
Film yourself in public where there are people around, this will help get you out of your fear of public speaking.
Watch raw unedited recordings of yourself, This will help you get over things about yourself that you may be uncomfortable with, such as your voice, how you look and so on. It’ll help you to start to like yourself and be able to see things from a more impartial perspective. It will also help you to get more familiar with yourself, on and off camera.
Personality
You have to have personality, this will help make you interesting.
For example, there is a woman who has a successful YouTube channel where the viewer is just coming shopping with her and things like that. People watch because the videos because the videos and her have personality and so are interesting.
If the videos in her were bland and boring, people wouldn’t watch them.
Find your authentic voice
Jack Dee the comedian was failing miserably, it was going to be his last performance as he was going to give up after it.
On that performance he had nothing to lose, he was just depressed on stage as that was the real him.
However people found that funny and it was him being the real him. As a result he found his authentic voice and was very successful.
Before that he had been performing like a positive game show host.
James Acaster the comedian wasn’t doing very well. He had thought he would do really well if he was the cool guy who is like the popular one at school.
However that wasn’t him and it was only when he became on stage the person who wasn’t quite so cool and popular that he became successful as he had found his authentic voice and became successful.
You will then find your audience and the people that like you.
If things are going well for you, people want to be part of what you are having
If you are happy, well and things are going well for you then people would like to be part of what you are having.
So if you are a street performer who is happy, things are going well for you and are having fun. People want to be part of that.
Even if it’s just an unknown person performing on the street, people will be drawn to that performer and performance.
It has to be personal
Whether it’s music, or talking to people, it’s the personal stuff that makes a unique and special. You personally may not be perfect, but there’s stuff there and it’s real.
Your personal view on the world, your take on things and how you are.
How you see the world that’s different from how others see the world.
To do this you have to really trust in yourself and push the boundaries.
When there is a successful song and other people try to just do the same thing, so they can be successful too. It isn’t great and doesn’t work so well because they aren’t making it personal, their own personal thing. The stuff just isn’t there.
ready8 Uncategorized Leave a comment August 28, 2021 10 MinutesWhy people get bulliedAccording to Joe Rogan:
The kids at school who get bullied are the ones who are worried about being attacked. Those kids get picked on because the bullies recognize that they can pick on those kids.
The bullies see this vulnerability.
With chickens it’s called the pecking order, when a chicken gets packed at by a dominant chicken, the other chickens come in and peck it that chicken as well. Those other chickens are often cowardly chickens.
It’s based on insecurity, fear and a deep concern from the other chickens that one day they’re going to be the one that gets pecked at.
So if bullies see someone who’s scared of offending someone, stepping out of line, or taking a chance, then the bullies come in and exploit that target.
Bullies tend to be people who are bored and don’t have a lot of hobbies.
ready8 Uncategorized Leave a comment June 24, 2021 1 MinuteHow to not be depressedPeople who are depressed often have very high expectations.
For example, when they have a baby everything will be amazing. However things are difficult and there are challenges, then they get depressed because everything is not amazing.
Maybe the person was brought up in a way where they given the expectations that everything in life will be amazing.
For example, the kids who grew up when their parents were massive celebrities thought life should be like that. The pop star who was massively famous and then like most fame it goes down, cannot cope with the loss.
You shouldn’t expect life to be awful and you shouldn’t expect everything to be terrible. That’s what the middle path is about, you go to middle way.
However having things for your own pleasure comes to an end and that is sadness. So it’s best just to have what you need and not just focus on what you want.
If you get things that you want or pleasure things that’s fine, but don’t be attached to them and you do that by just going after what you need.
If you’re a person who is always after massive happiness and excitement, like a roller coaster the lows will be lower as the highs are higher.
Contentment
The highest highs, although they are glorious, don’t sustain themselves.
By comparison you drop to the lowest lows.
But by comparison, when you burn the even line down the middle of contentment, it rarely fails you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment April 12, 2021 1 MinuteHow to be happyCharlie Munger, the business partner of Warren Buffet says the following. I think it is clever because he says to do it you have to let go of negative feelings.
“You don’t have a lot of envy.
“You don’t have a lot of resentment.
“You don’t overspend your income.
“You stay cheerful in spite of your troubles.
“You deal with reliable people.
“And you do what you’re supposed to do.
“And all these simple rules work so well to make your life better. And they’re so trite.”
His prescription is logical, he says.
“Staying cheerful” is “a wise thing to do,” Munger told Quick, adding that in order to do so, you have to let go of negative feelings.
“And can you be cheerful when you’re absolutely mired in deep hatred and resentment? Of course you can’t. So why would you take it on?” Munger said.
Peace
It is easy to be used to adrenaline and excitement, this means you look for things that cause you that, or get bored when you don’t have them.
However these are things that cause you anxiety, fear and so on. You are basically looking for problems.
So look at things which bring you peace.
It is good to go and get things, but be careful that when you get them, you don’t throw them away as you are bored by them. All because you are addicted to, or in the habit of having adrenaline and excitement.
You need to value peace, as without peace you cannot be happy.
Yes it can be boring, but still value it.
Self love and self respect
To have a happy life, a person needs to have self-love and self-respect. It doesn’t matter having all these things from the outside, if you don’t have them on the inside.
To achieve this you have to have done good moral things, otherwise you will just hate yourself.
You have to be a good moral person for things to work out, if they don’t work out how can you respect yourself.
You also have to allow yourself to love and respect yourself.
Cheer yourself on like you would a football team
People put loads of effort into cheering on football teams, people they’ve never met, don’t know them, or care about them.
You also need to cheer on yourself like you would a football team. If you don’t do that you’ll unhappy.
You also have to celebrate yourself, celebrate your successes, and so on.
Being happy as a person
It’s very easy to think you’ll be happy if you have a certain possession or thing.
Such as you’ll be happy if you have a partner, children, a certain toy, object and so on.
However in the whole scheme of things, these things won’t get make you happy, it’s how you are as a person.
So you need to be happy as a person. It’s not about whether you have these things or not. You are happy and well as a person and not by being attached to things.
So you are happy as a person, not happy because you are attached to things.
Having what you need, not what you want
Wanting things makes you miserable, you are dissatisfied as you don’t have enough.
You need to be able to have enough, or you’ll never satisfied, you just want more.
So having what you need is good, such as you need food to live. However wanting things never makes you satisfied and there’s also the added problem of you are then worried about losing them.
Interestingly people who have a lot, often find that the happiest time of their life was when they lost all their money through maybe some financial misfort. When they had nothing they were actually happiest.
So a person may have lots of power, money and so on. Other people see them and think they’re happy, but actually they’re not. They’re just attached to these things and really wanting them.
Of course it’s good to have what you need, such as medical help, a safe home and so on. However the big difference is between need and want.
Having it for others
If you are happy, then other people will be happy too.
This is because the universe is one, so if you are happy it goes on to other people.
If you selfishly want to be happy, you won’t be happy because that’s just a dark hole of sucking and taking.
If you are happy for the sake of others, so you’re happiness is so that it goes to other people and they get it, then you will be given more more.
It’s like an endless virtuous circle of you being happy so others get it and so you get more. It’s not for you, it’s for others and so it passes and goes through you.
So the best way to be happy is to think about making other people happy.
The best way to feel good is thinking about making other people feel good.
If you are just thinking about yourself feeling good, it’s just a dark sucky path of selfishness that does not feel good.
ready8 Uncategorized Leave a comment December 15, 2020 3 MinutesBeing with yourselfThis is how you are with yourself, regardless of:
1, How you make yourself look to others, you can fake this
2, The job, friends, family and so on.
It is how you are when you are by yourself, even if 1 & 2 are gone. This is your core.
If you have done selfish things, being with yourself can be hard because you have to face the wrong you’ve done. You have to face your negative sides and problems.
You have to face yourself.
Date yourself, like you would if you’re looking for a romantic partner. This will help you to learn what you’re like.
Don’t run away from yourself.
Be content and happy being with yourself.
Be nice to yourself.
Listen to yourself, watch yourself, don’t just talk to yourself all the time. This is how you will learn what you’re about
Treat yourself the same way that you hope others would treat you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment September 17, 2020 1 MinuteBeing in the nowWhen you are worrying about the future and thinking about the past, you are in the ego.
You often worrying about things that will never happen in the future and things that will never happened in the past.
The now is what really is, it is where happiness is.
Being in the now is where you access higher words, spirit, heaven and God, because it’s where the truth of them is.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 3, 2020 1 MinuteLonelinessPeople who desperately have to be with others, it’s often because they don’t want to face or be with themselves.
They don’t want to face the bad things they’ve done, so need to be looking at the outside world and others.
They may have such bad mental constructs that they put their negative energy into others which is why they need them around. They put their stress, worries, concern, and so on into others.
They may also not be very nice to themselves, they push themselves around and so on. For example if somebody came from a very ambitious upbringing, they might push themselves really hard to do things and not be nice to themselves.
To be ok being by yourself, you’ve got to be nice to yourself. Imagine how you treat others, and then think about if you treat yourself the same way.
The big one is to accept yourself and how you are.
The people who can be by themselves for long periods of time, are the people who have dated themselves. This means you see and learn about being with yourself, like you do when going on a date with someone and deciding if you want to be with that person.
They have faced themselves so they are fine with being in their own.
The people who have not faced themselves, have to face themselves when they are with themselves for long periods of time. They cannot cope with being by themselves for long periods of time.
The people who have dated themselves before and so been with themselves, can be alone for long periods of time as they have already faced themselves.
It does not matter if lots of people love you, if you don’t love yourself.
Think about how you would like others to be to you, and be like that to yourself. Be loving, kind, compassionate and so on.
Do not bully yourself to perform better and so on.
People often look at how they are to themselves, how they are to their subconscious. You also have to look at how your subconscious is to you, just like how when in a date, you look at how the person you are on the date with is to you
When things get difficult don’t be tough on yourself to push yourself harder, it makes it even harder to live with yourself and so you get even more lonely.
Some people who are lonely, it’s because they’re not nice to themselves. As a result they need other people to be nice to them. The answer is to love yourself and be nice to yourself. You have to capacity to heal yourself and be good to yourself.
Not cut off from others and yourself
In the same way that you can be in a room with lots of other people and still be alone, because psychologically you’re cut off them.
Maybe you’re scared so have your barriers up, are overly controlling to others, or other things that create barriers.
You can also be cut off from yourself and so feel alone, as you don’t have your own company. It can happen if you’ve been overly tough or controlling to yourself. You need to be soft and gentle to yourself to create a relationship with yourself.
Self worth
People who can’t cope with being by themselves, whether it’s being at home by themselves without the company of other people, having to be with friends all the time, or have to get into another romantic relationship. It’s because they don’t have any self-worth.
They need other people to validate them and show them that they’re okay. They need to have other people around to prove to themselves that they’re worthy. This is because by themselves they don’t have enough self-worth, to think they are worthy.
To not be lonely you have to be authentically yourself with others, otherwise they just have the fakeness which means you’re actually alone because it is not actually you with others.
ready8 Psychology, Uncategorized Leave a comment June 15, 2020 3 MinutesListening to othersTo be a good listener, you have to genuinely care about the other person.
The other person will want to talk because you genuinely care about them, empathize and sympathize. it may take a while for them to break down their wall, but they eventually will, because they can see you genuinely care and are interested.
You are genuinely upset if they have had a bad experience, or are in a bad way and so on.
Because of this they will be able to see your reaction to what you are saying, as you are experiencing what they are telling you.
As a result you don’t need to say much, they can see everything from your reaction.
This means they can see what is going on and what they need to do, because they can see it from how you are experiencing it.
People will be willing to talk because you genuinely care and are interested in them. Their thoughts, feelings and how they are.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 30, 2020 1 MinuteAngerWhen you are angry at somebody or something, you are the person that has anger.
However, having anger can hurt you as well as the other person.
Anger wants to destroy.
If you see someone biting their nails, biting their inner lip, wanting to hurt themselves such as self harm. People often think this is for stress relief, it’s actually that they have anger.
This anger is hurting themselves.
So having anger can be very bad for your health, because it attacks you as well.
That is why forgiving others is important, because it releases you from having anger.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 30, 2020 1 MinuteBeing nice to yourselfPeople who grow up in an environment of achievement and pushing yourself to achieve things, such as having parents who do that. Their formative years can make them have the habit of pushing themselves too hard as well.
The parents were too strict and the child ends up being too strict with themselves as well
The child may also have grown up in an environment where if they didn’t do something perfectly, then they will be punished. Maybe their parents high achievers and the child cannot achieve those levels, so feels like a failure.
People like this can be adults who push themselves too hard and also are not be nice to themselves. They think that if they push and force themselves, bully themselves to do things and so on. They thing this wil make themselves achieve more.
However they can be so nasty to themselves that they can’t concentrate, think or achieve anything.
These people will also be very sad and not happy with their own company, this is because they are not nice to themselves. Other people won’t want to be friendly with them as this is not nice to be around. Also if the person is not nice to themselves, they cannot truly be nice to others, as they are going through personal hell.
A person who is nice to themselves, giving themselves compassion and sympathy will like being with themselves, because they are nice to be with. Think of how you should be sympathetic, compassionate and give love to other people, you need to treat yourself in the same way.
A lot of how a person is stressed and so on is how they are to themselves. Maybe a person will be very stressed in all situations, because they are pushing themselves and not being nice to themselves
A way to understand this is think what it’s like for people when they’re running and doing exercise, they push themselves to keep going.
This is how a person is to themselves and demonstrates this separateness.
A person also needs to understand that they are themselves and their whole being is one.
In the same way you should be nice to others so they are comfortable, relaxed and able to perform better. You should be nice to yourself so you can perform better.
A person who is not nice themselves, is often desperate for other people to be nice to them. This is because they are not nice to themselves and so need it from others. If you are nice to yourself, you don’t need it so much that others are nice to you.
You are being nice to yourself, so you don’t need it from others so much.
If you are desperate for other people to be nice to you, this neediness is a taking thing that also is not nice for others to be around.
Getting respect
Stop trying to get the approval of people who like to disapprove of others, to get their approval you have to do things that you don’t agree with, or are not right for you.
Instead focus on people who inspire you to be great and do good things that are right.
Then focus on getting your own approval.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment March 27, 2020 2 MinutesBeing in the nowBy being in the now, a person can be aware of what is really going on.
This that enables a person to go from the physical world, up to higher realities such as the divine and God. This is because they are in the now which is reality.
Most people are either living in the past or the future.
The past is not dangerous because no what happened.
The future is about dreaming and fantasy of what could be.
People do not like to focus on the now as it is reality. They do not like to take the risk, face the unknown and so on.
Being in the now needs courage, as do not really know what’s going to happen.
Most people when they do something new for the first time have a success. For example the first time someone meditates, they have good results.
However they then spend the next 30 years trying to get the same results again. As a result the future meditations are never as good. This is because they are focused on the past and not the reality of now.
The reality of now means they do whatever is needed for things to work and be real now.
Being in the now also means face that things are changing.
Being in the here and now is easier
When a person is thinking of the past and the future.
They are thinking about the past.
They are worrying and working out the future. Often it’s worrying about a thing that could happen in the future.
However the here and now is here, so it is less work. You are not having to think and work things out that are with you now, you are having to think about and create them.
So being in the here and now enables a person to rest and relax.
To get the most out of things and be able to learn, a person has to be watchful and mindful. However that is still less strain than thinking all the time.
So if you need to rest, one way is to focus on the here and now.
When you are worrying about the future, it can be as horrible to experience it as having that actual thing you’re worried about happening. So you won’t just have the thing you are worrying about in the future, you have it throughout your whole life.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment April 10, 2018 2 MinutesSpiritualitySpiritual:
Higher order spiritual knowledge is only given to people who are mature, wise and seeking to serve The Holy One. ‘Warren, kabballah history book’
Traps that stop us loving and serving higher beings.
The ruling elite generally believe that they are threatened by the unknown as it is beyond their comprehension. Knowledge is power and the primitive mind fears what it cannot command ‘warren Kabballah history book’
If they do not have power over it so they see it as not theirs, a rival. They may also be people who see things they cannot control as threats. This is because they think that others are evil like they are, they are bad people so presume others are bad like them, they are evil so like and attracts like and this is the type of people they are surrounded by and believe the world us like. Like they are a business competing for money, or power so they do not want others to win.
They should see that the world is one, good things benefit all and not just them, or others. They should be happy for the good thing and see it is an opportunity to learn from them.
On an inner level we must not hate god and higher things because we cannot control them.
We must not hate higher entities and god because they are different from us, a kind of inner racism.
We must not be jealous of god, because god has everything in existence. The world belongs to god because god made it.
We must love and cherish higher entities that are good. We must love and submit to God and live under God’s ways.
People normally believe in traditions, habits and routines, which may or may not be based on truth. You need to focus on truth, but realise that traditions, routines and habits do have their place.
Need to see traditions, habits and routines for what they are, they are not truth itself.
In most of the world people are at the top of society because they used force to get there, it needs to be that society is ruled by the wise, protected by the strong and served by the masses.
Serving someone means that they command you, so only serve good people. You need to serve God who is goid.
Whatever you are good at what, your talents are, you have a moral responsibility to do it. It maybe that you have very few talents but you still have the same duty.
Easy to be seduced by success, so a person thinks they can do anything. As a result a person does things that are morally wrong, because they think they get away with it. Also does things which are complacent and arrogant so never work.
Just because a person has done something before and gotten away with it does not mean it works everytime. An example would be crossing the road without looking. Also such things can blow up to be bigger and bigger until they fall down, an example would be getting into debt.
If there is an uneasy feeling on their psychic level, it normally means that someone has lied.
Zev Ben Shimon Halevi’s Kabbalistic View of History book ‘those who lose contact with their souls become what is called the “living dead”, that is, without any conscience. Many psychopaths are in this class.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment April 10, 2018 2 MinutesAstrology and the stock marketJP Morgan Bank ‘Millionaires do not use astrology, billionaires do’
Pluto is in each sign for about 15 years.
Eg. It was in Sagettarius from about 1992 to 2007, so had that it had an expansion and then 2007 came the crisis when into Capricorn.
Debt expanded under Sagettarius and then the practical reality of Capricorn made the problem more realistically viewed.
Pluto is in Capricorn until 2023
So in Capricorn are paying all the debt and excess of the previous years.
In 2017 -2013, so about next 5 years, there will be a crisis about the debt, such as inflation increase, interest rates, or something. This will stop money printing and will create a small drama.
Can look at other planets like moon for short term trading. Start investing in the new moon, which is when sun and moon are in same sign. Never invest in an eclipse.
Investing in new moon and selling in full moon. There are university studies on this. Typing things like new moon stock market into a search engine brings up loads of information on this.
The returns are 3 times greater on the stock market if buy in new moon and sell in full moon compared to just buy and hold. Research on this covers over a 100 year period. Have to consider Pluto for these returns.
Investor needs to work out if want proper returns, or just beating index. No point beating index, if index is going down. Then beating the index, is just making less of a loss than the index.
Mercury when retrograde in that period a lot of news from one place to another and no one knows what to do, so best to do nothing because of most communication. Can still go up if out comes out good news during Mercury retrograde, but is risky as all uncertain so best not to invest during this time.
Need to look at whole chart and interpret it in with regards the situation. It is not a 100% as is not a pure science.
ready8 Business Leave a comment March 5, 2018 1 MinuteDoing things properlyTo win need to focus on doing things properly, not on winning.
If a person focuses on winning they do not do things properly and so not win.
Focusing on winning makes a 101 things go wrong. The person gets stressed, rushes things, works through strength and not skill, not have right mental view and so on.
The person does not worry and so focuses on exactness.
So need to focus on doing things properly and let the technique guide you through to winning.
This is is the same for all things, fighting, building a business etc.
In Zen this is called focusing on the job and not the reward. The person’s thought, focus and energy goes into doing the job and is not wasted dreaming and thinking about the reward. So the person is 100% efficient.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment March 4, 2018 1 MinuteNotesSocial:
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If you like other people then other people will like you. If you hate other people then other people will hate you.
This has to be real, cannot feke this.
Need to be yourself with people, be real. Let the person you are talking to get to know you for you, get to know the other person for the other person. Be careful of using the ‘game’ face that means no one ever gets to know you. If you try and be something you are not, it cannot work.
Self confidence:
If a person has an inner self confidence, they will carry themselves in a way that when they walk into a room, people will notice them.
If you believe that you can do it, others will too, will want to be around you and benefit from your success.
This needs to be from the positivity of doing things well, not about the arrogance of being better than others and looking down on others.
It means you believe you can do it, know you can do it and not have any fear.
A person builds up confidence from the reality of their achievements, otherwise it is just a delusion which is a road to eventual ruin.
Spiritual:
The ego goes around and around, repeating it’s thoughts, actions and feelings. Only when a person goes to their higher Self can they change. The higher self sees things more as the person really is, thinking about others and being impartial. The Self does not just think about and Me like the ego does.The self of a person is at the bottom level of heaven.
Without the ego, a person cannot function in the earthly world,
they think they are the wall the ceiling, the car over there and so on as are be one with everything.
They would not be able to tell relative things, like how light, heavy, strong, weak, big, small things are. Would not be able to identify and function on the physical world for example even sleep.
not possible for people to identify the person, the ego is a mask. For example it enables people to see if a person is a begger, upper class person, doctor, teacher, and so on.
people with not be able to identify the person, because they would be no I, they would just be one with everything.
the person would just float away into the upper worlds.
They would just be elsewhere so not abke to function on the physical level.
So before going up to the higher worlds, it is also important to make sure the person can come back down and that means being able to build the ego back up again!
A good way to do this is to meditate on the ego. Also to get back to earth to meditate on the senses and physical world. We are where are our consciousness is.
If the ego is too strong a person cannot be spiritual, if it is too weak a person cannot function effectively, or at all on earth. The answer is to be able to build it up and reduce it by choice.
Zev Ben Shimon Halevi
These are not word for word quotes, but try to catch meanings of what he said and wrote.
The highest treason is to do the right thing for the wrong reason.
Animal people used to murder other people to get to the top, now they murder other peoples’ reputations. However before they get to the top, karma means it comes back so they never get there.
You need to be aware of the spiritual principles behind everything, if a tribe invades and exploits another country, then another country will come and do the same to them.
When you go into a room, you can tell who are the people in spiritual work, they are the people in the room who are watchful, whereas the others are just talking about themselves and their issues. People in spiritual work also have a lightness about them and a refinement of their features.
To be able to experience the upper worlds, you need to be awake, at attention. Most people just sleep walk through life and as a result do the same normal routine. For example they go to work at the same normal time and route, just sleep walking on their way to work and back.
Every action has consequences, as you develop more, you become aware of that.
If a person is mean psychologically, their physical body will then be hunched and bent over, stiff, with mean looking physical features. They will have mean a physical appearance as the psyche infects and affects the body. This will come over in all aspects of the physical body’s appearance, such as mannerisms, muscle tone, voice, expressions, posture, physical features and so on. (this is more a description of what Zev Ben Shimon Halevi acted out to explain)
The field force of the psyche surrounds the body by a couple of feet on average.
The soul make choices, it changes and adapts to circumstance and really does the working things out. The ego just reacts to whatever is going on.
The psyche goes on from life to life, the body does not. The psyche is what does thinking, the brain is just a telephone instrument between the body and psyche.
Feelings come and go much more quickly, emotions are around for longer.
Unless one is well grounded, mysticism can lead to madness. Such as Abulafia who in the 13th century was jailed for trying to convert the Pope, he was also a Holy Fool.
Angels are beyond the physical senses.
No one can escape the responsibility and so the karma, from accepting or rejecting the conduct of leaders or the masses, a person can either go along with what is being done or rebel against it.
The aim of the universe is to evolve, the aim is not to be happy.
We are in earth to learn. When something happens to you ask why it is really happening and what is the lesson.
‘There is no religion higher than truth’ he was quoting from elsewhere.
It takes most people many many incarnations to escape the wheels of karma. Some people may be able to escape the physical level in one lifetime, psychological in the next lifetime, spiritual in the next and then the divine, but they are rare. A bit like the person who manages to get out of jail quickly.
The ego is needed to function on this earth, without a person would the dead. The art though its the higher parts of yourself to control the ego. Like the driver controls the donkey, not the donkey controlling the driver. The ego is a tool, you control it, not it control you.
Often before an impending disaster, the most sensitive, intelligent, and shrewd people leave, removing with them many of the precious artifacts and ideas of that civilisation.
Men and women who volunteer to take on dangerous work as is their mission, can do it as know death is not the end.
Visualisation meditation
Zev Ben Shimon Halevi says that in visualisation meditation, if the images are coming from yesod/the ego, you have trouble keeping up with any guided meditation as things have to be processed which is harder and slower. If they are coming from to teferet they just come through.
It if it is coming from the ego it has to calculate, process and is trying to change what is coming in for it’s own convenience.
The first image that comes through is normally the right one, the later stuff is often the ego trying to change it to what it wants it to be. Unless of course you are able to ponder at teferet for long periods, most people can only keep at teferet for a very short time, so it is just the original flash of image which is the true one.
Images from the ego can be identified as they tend to be fantasy, fearful, tinny and unreal, over dramatic and so on.
Images from teferet are more real.
If images are coming from yesod, to stop this and get images coming from teferet, ask ‘what is the truth’, ‘what is really going on here’, tell the ego to get out of the way.
If images are coming into the mind immediately, they are coming from teferet. If they take a bit longer, This also means the people who are doing a visualisation meditation from the ego are much much slower.
Generally sourced information
When you make mistakes and do things wrong, you need to be able to own them and not say that they are somebody else’s mistakes. Then you can progress, develop and learn.
You have have to advise people if they will listen to your advice, however you also have to be let to go down in flames, down to the bitter end of the result of their mistakes, if it is a path they have chosen despite your advice, or they just do not learn.
Listening
Hold back in conversations and listen, then ask questions. Do not talk at people, you need to hear what they say, their truth will come out in that sentence.
Attracting women:
Women want a man who will be a good father to their children, good with their children.
Women also want a good husband who will be nice to them.
Women want security and they get that through marriage, so women want to get married.
Men look at sex and having it with a beautiful woman. Women look more look at the relationship, whether it will work and last.
Women are wary of if a man just wants to have sex with them. They will make sure the man wants a relationship with them and the sex stuff comes later.
Women mainly get divorced from their husbands because their partner is taking then for granted and they get bored. It is easy when I get married to think that that is it and stop working at.
Also it can be that one or both partner changes, so they are no longer relevant to each other
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 24, 2017 7 MinutesDoing what is needed to succeedTo succeed have to look at what market will pay for that is profitable.
However this can lead to conflict that some entrepreneurs cannot cope with. They will not make decisions that are unpopular with staff, or even just things that they do not want to do themselves.
When a customer goes to buy something they do not care about how the owner treats friends, family, does what he or she enjoys etc.
So the owner has to make whatever decisions means will meet the market wants.
There are many things which can prevent this:
1, to succeed need to hire the best people, but instead of the owner routines and hers people they are friendly with and family.
If a business does have people who have friends and family but are also not the best people possible. The owner hould help them to succeed, but make it clear the targets they have to meet or they will have to go to another job or another company.
2, Doing what is prestigious and brings respect. Again this is something the owner made like, but the market does not care and is not necessarily wha brings the company money.
This desire can also cause extravagant, wasteful spending and unnecessary spending.
3, Doing what is fun. Again this may not be something that makes money.
4, The lazy options
5, Not doing hard things: Such as firing staff that should be fired because not want conflict.
6, Taking a side of the staff when they are acting in their own self interest which is not that of the customers’. The customer is the buyer and without them there are no jobs, so have to take the customer’s side.
For example staff may want the company to charge the customers more, so they can be paid more, or can look after less customers as each customer pays more. However this will lead to less customers and less satisfied customers.
However by serving the customers with what they want, there are more customers and some odd jobs are created
Of course owner must be as nice kind and gentle with people as possible, but what the market wants for products and services, how it delivers and creates that, is a fundamental truth that cannot be avoided.
Just like with football teams there can only be one winner. Those are the top of the league have most of the market and the rest get very little, it is the same for companies. To achieve this a company has to be the best to do that have the best people.
7. Not just doing what you did before. This may seem safe, but it doesn’t work and isn’t fulfilling.
Of course learn from the past, but listen to your ideas and see how things really are.
ready8 Business Leave a comment August 1, 2017 2 MinutesRunning a business (numbers)If a person does not know the numbers in their business, they do not know their business.
Most consultants have never met a successful business person, who does not know the numbers of their business.
Numbers do not lie, which is often why people do not want to look at them because they will say the truth which can be bad news.
Liars, cheats and failures will also not want to discuss their numbers in a business as they also reveal the truth of what they are.
Key performance indicators
Key performance indicators can be very revealing.
Eg.
How many sales a salesperson got that month.
How many sales a salesperson per hour they worker that month.
The average length of time a customer will stay per account manager.
The gross profit of a product.
It is possible to manage very large companies, by just seeing who is doing well and who is doing badly from the numbers. Just like and see which football team is good and which is bad, from their goal scores and matches.
Many people do not like this as it shows their failure or mediocrity.
Question everything to find out more
When find out a number, then ask questions.
Then research the answer to that question using numbers.
Then will find out new revealing numbers.
Eg. How many purchased items returned to company. Then may want to ask how many returns by the person that made it, product line etc.
Variance reporting
Variance analysis is a useful way to find things out.
Normally 20% of people are great, 60% okay and 20% of rubbish. The bottom 20% do more harm than good and the organisation would be better off without them.
The top 20% show how it should be done and what is possible.
So look how well the top 20% are doing. Then everyone else is either less good, lying, or just being lazy doing the least they can get away with.
Can go further and look at the top 5%, 1% etc.
The big thing though is comparing the different numbers from different people, units, divisions, etc.
Thesw variants can be used for customers, suppliers, products, people etc.
Also look of variations over time, location, size etc to see if a change over time somewhere shows something has gone wrong.
ready8 Business, Management Leave a comment May 29, 2017 2 MinutesWhy third generation businesses failDelusions of grandeur starting with second generation makes them fail.
One makes it
One caretakers it
One looses.
Delusions of grandeur the second generation gets from their expensive education, money flowing around makes them fail. As the delusions of grandeur means living off the business and not running it.
If it passes the third generation it will survive as then they have gotten the processes for doing it correctly..
These are normally things such as seperating being in the family and the business, so in business from merit. If no good then get chucked out of the business, but still in the family.
The people know the rules, such as cannot automatically get a job in the family business.
Not have to do what is needed
When a person first comes to a new country as an economic migrant they have to do whatever is needed to make money, whether it is boring, unglamorous, tough, difficult, or whatever.
However the third generation person with money does not have to do this. So they just do what is fun, gives them pleasure and so on.
However these are things that other people will happily do for free, so on average does not bring in so much money. Some of these things can make money, but only the rare exceptional managed it.
The third generation person as they do not need the money, often does not work hard enough and diligently enough to even achieve this for a possibility.
This is because they just focus on what is fun, not the hard difficult unglamorous and difficult graft, also repetitive stuff that does become tedious.
The third generation person tents to have so much money they can play around like a child, they do not have to be an adult. An adult has to take responsibility and resolve problems. The third generation person just throws money at their problems to resolve them and not effort or work.
ready8 Business Leave a comment March 28, 2017 1 MinuteActingWhen a person pretends to do something or lies they do it excessively.
A person pretending to look at something, will do it so excessively it is like their eyes are popping out of their sockets. (Constantine Stanislavsky)
A person pretending to move will move with such exaggerated movements it does not look real.
A person who is lying, will talk about their story excessively, because they are trying to prove it to be true. This is a good way to see that someone is lying, they talk excessively talk about their story, in such detail and for such a long time. If it were true, they would feel no need to do this, or even bring it up and go over it all.
So the answer with acting is not to do it an a way that proves or on purpose shows it to anyone.
The only way to really do it is to do it for real. for example look at the item for real and do things for real. When doing something for show, it just looks silly.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment December 8, 2016 1 MinuteLeadership (verbal communication)Being a leader
A dog can be controlled with tone of voice.
High tone is telling well done.
Low tone is strict discipline.
Human beings react in the same way.
In a crisis
If there is a problem or crisis, speak slowly as then have authority. The person will have this authority, as are speaking slowly, so people can understand and carry out the order.
Speaking slowly, slows things down so people can act correctly.
If shout at people when there is a crisis, it is like pouring petrol on the fire, the people get more anxious and it gets worse.
The problem is if the person panics they speak faster and they shout. Then they increase disconnect between themselves and those they are leading.
So in a crisis to ensure people listen to you, speak slowly and in a low tone. Also if there is time ask people if they are okay then they will feel part of it.
Unless it is a crisis where there are seconds, then need people to just do it. This is because the situation can lead to other bigger problems, so has to be resolved quickly.
If someone has a personal problem
If someone has a problem and are sad, then be more sympathetic and speak in a normal human voice, asking if they would like to talk about it. Then you listen to them.
Must be very careful to use the right time of voice at the right time, or other people will fall apart.
ready8 Management Leave a comment November 19, 2016 1 MinuteHow to not go into the friends zone on a dateWhen a man is speaking with a woman that he wants to be with as boyfriend/girlfriend, it is very important that a man is romantic, loving, affectionate. The man loves her, gives her love.
The man creates a romantic mood of love, kissing, cuddles, hugs.
This is done with the mood, emotions of the man, how he looks at her and behaves towards her, speaks to her etc. He is a lover.
Woman wants a man that loves them, wants them, wants to look after them, thinks they are incredibly beautiful etc.
Also he must be a man and male for her. He must be nice to the lady and treat her like a lady. However he is a potential boyfriend and must act like that, not like a potential female friend for the lady.
Without this it will just be like friends and the man will be a friend, and not become a boyfriend etc. As he is not a male and that is what the woman wants and is attracted to.
Some guys focus on trying to be the woman’s friend, people want friends like themselves, so he ends up acting in a feminine way. You are not being their friend, you are being their boyfriend, a male.
Of course it’s nice for the woman if you are the male version of them.
ready8 Attracting women Leave a comment October 25, 2016 1 MinuteIdentity and spiritualityWhat a person identifies themselves with is very important.
If a person identifies themselves with their ego, they think that they are separate to everything else, so things are I, me and mine.
It is best to identify yourself with being one with everything else and being one with God.
Then realise that you are one with everything else and one with God.
So you are God and god is you.
You are everything else and everything else is you.
All is one.
To become aware of consciousness, can identify yourself with consciousnes. Then not so obsessed with your thoughts, emotion and body.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment July 25, 2016 1 MinuteHow to make great productsNeed to compete with yourself:
You have to be your biggest competitor, not somebody else to compete with you. You have to compete with yourself. If you have a product that is very successful, you have to think immediately what is the next one? Can I do it better? This to a certain extent was the success of Commodore.
Jack Tramiel Commodore Computers.
A great product is you
A product that is a copy of other products is always empty and shallow. To make a great product that cannot be easily copied, have to put you, your heart and soul into it all parts of it. Then you have a product or service that is unique, competitors can never copy you in the product. Then it is not just a commodity that can be copied by others.
Jason Fried and David Heinemeier’s book ‘Rework’
Simple
Great products do a few simple things and do them well. They are easy and fun to use.
Focus on what you are and do
If I creating a product to compete with something else, the competition are setting the rules, parameters and you will be behind them.
Need to look at what problem you are going to solve and solve it, work out the rules for yourself. Then are not being constrained by what others have done and doing.
Is not even about beating the competition, you are doing something separate and different.
if I just copying everyone else, what is the point in your existence.
(Influenced by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier’s book ‘Rework’)
Of course when starting need to learn from others and also learn from others as well, so it is a balance.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 11, 2016 1 MinuteCreativityCreativity is a high spiritual thing. As a result it cannot come from earthly paperwork and management processes which are not of that creative place.
Creativity means coming up with ways and things that did not exist before.
It cannot come from ego which is just about habits.
Selfish people are just focused on getting all they can for themselves so are not creative. To be creative need to be focused on creativity, creativity itself and cannot be for yourself as that pulls it down so no longer on the high creative level.
Creative people come up with things that are on other levels. People who just work really hard and do not use their creativity, cannot do this. Creative people also create ways to get as good results in one tenth of the time and work.
This is why people who just work hard on for example manual labour, cannot get to the levels of creative people. They cannot see or understand what is happening on those levels.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment May 31, 2016 1 MinuteAdvertisingAssociation
People look at what a product is associated with.
A certain Jaguar model in the 60s was driven a lot by East End gangsters. People did not want to buy that car unless they were an East End gangster, because I did not want to be associated with that.
If a product is used by a well respected celebrity, they want it, because then it is associated with that.
Values
Steve Jobs noticed that marketing is about values.
Very hard to be noticed in a noisy world, so need to be clear on what want people to know about you.
Talking about computer speeds and specifications are a waste of time.
Nike adverts just honour great athletes and athletics. That is who they are and what they are about. So customers feel something special and not just a shoe company.
They do not mention their products, why their air soles are better than rival’s shoe soles, that they make the commodity of shoes.
As a result his early Apple adverts just showed great people.
So the Apple Computer adverts show who is Apple, what does it stand for, where fit in the world.
Apples ads showed people who had passion and so has been able to change the world for the better. It touches the soul of the company. That shows what the brand is about. It honours people both living and dead, who have changed the world.
So the Apple brand is built.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment May 15, 2016 1 MinuteInnovationInnovative products are discovered
Dr. Land said: “I could see what the Polaroid camera should be. It was just as real to me as if it was sitting in front of me before I had ever built one.”
Both of them (the second Being Steve Job’s about the Macintosh computer), had this ability not to invent products but to discover products. Both of them said these products have always existed—it’s just that no one has ever seen them before. We were the ones who discovered them. The Polaroid camera always existed, and the Macintosh always existed—it’s a matter of discovery.
From ‘Being Steve Job’s boss’ on Blomberg website.
The universe is what the universe is, this is just discovering what can be done in it and what the universe is. They have not created it, it was already there. An idea is a pure thing and then a person runs with it.
ready8 Business Leave a comment May 15, 2016 1 MinuteWritingGood writing is about more than words, it is knowing how to communicate.
Making things easy to understand.
A person putting themselves in somebody else and where they are.
Knowing what to omit.
Ability to think clearly.
Writing what is easy for your reader, not what is easy for you.
Share information that is genuinely valuable, then will get a loyal audience that regularly comes back by itself to see what you have to say.
Writers who are more concerned with the equipment and gadgets they use to produce their work, more than what they actually produce, normally produce nothing of value, as they have nothing to say.
(The above was learned from the book ‘Getting Real’, by 37 Signals)
A person never knows if they really understand it, until have to explain it to someone else.
Life is simple, things can be put in one sentence. If not, the person does not understand it, or does not want other people to.
A writer should only write when they have something to say which is if value to others.
Entertaining people
This is written about the average person, of course each individual is different.
Most people read for entertainment, not to learn. That is even so when they read the news. So even learning things have to be entertaining. This can be done with stories, anecdotes, jokes and metaphors.
People do not want to be bothered to read long things, so they have to be short, snappy and amusing. Even long articles need to be broken up into separate sections, each with different titles, icons, images, layouts and so on, to make each section different, fun and short.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment May 8, 2016 1 MinuteInvestment evaluation financial ratiosThe best ratios to see if a company is good value and will go up in value.
1, Return on assets = assets on balance sheet divided by profits. A high profitability compared to balance sheet, shows are good at getting return on capital.
It can often be seen that the stock market has done this assessment poorly when valuing share prices.
This is from Neil Woodford, who is a value investment fund manager.
2, Cash flow statement: As profit and loss and balance sheets come from accruals accounting, where things are accrued, rather than cash, companies can create all kinds of things using accruals that do not exist.
Examples are invoices which unlikely to be paid, things which on historical value seem valuable but on the market are worth nothing etc.
Cash flow shows if the company is really making money.
3, price earnings ratio (p/e) : company share price divided by it’s profits
4, price earnings growth (PEG): it is from Jim Slater’s book ‘The Zulu Principle’.
Price divided by earnings, eg. £1 share price, divided by £0.05 per year =20.
Then divide by expected growth rate of company, eg. 20 /10% =2.
So a lower end number is better.
The prediction of growth needs to come from it having shown growth, out of at least 4 of the last 5 years.
5, Altman Z score
5, How successful have the managers previously been. Either look at performance where the head managers have been before, or easiest companies where the head staff been there for 5 years or more, so can see their results from that company’s performance.
Best to invest in businesses where head managers tend to stay around, as show they want to grow by getting results and not jumping around to try and get better jobs.
6, Macro economic cycles: Normally about 7 years between boom and bust.
A cycle that was first recorded in the bible over 5700 years ago in the bible and has stood the test of time since. It was mentioned as a dream of Pharaoh, analysed by Moses.
Also using Google Finance to show long term total stock market valuation indecises will help show this.
ready8 Business Leave a comment February 13, 2016 1 MinuteConcentrationThe ability to concentrate makes a person very powerful.
Signs of real concentrating
If a person is concentrating on something properly, then all sorts of other things that they are not concentrating on can happen and they will not even notice. An could be reading a book and they do not even notice an explosion.
How to concentrate
The first thing is not to be selfish. Being selfish means a person is led astray by whatever things appear that they may want. This can make them excessively scared in scary situations, excessively excited in exciting situations that means they do not concentrate.
Emotions and feelings are essential, they are a person’s energy, what they use to feel on a psychological level etc.
However selfishness can make a person’s emotions and feelings so unbalanced in certain directions, that it will be impossible to concentrate. For example if someone is excessively excited about a reward or scarred of loosing something.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment January 23, 2016 1 MinuteDiplomacyDiffusing an aggressive situation
To diffuse a person who is being aggressive, need to do the following.
If you are like these things, it will affect the other person.
By you being a certain way, it affects others.
•Act in reasonable way so they feel that, are effected by it and do the same.
•Have a relaxed, easy going and tolerant manner, like everything is fine and nothing to worry about.
•Remain calm
Listen to what they have to say. This is so they do not have to fight to be heard, you can empathise, be sympathetic and compassionate to their situation.
As you are on their side they will appreciate that. You are doing all you can for them.
Give them attention and so look them in the eye.
Be reasonable and say reasonable things.
This means that both parties do all they can to do the best.
By morality being there, people are influenced by it and do the best. By you being moral, it influences and effects others.
However angry and frustrated you are, must not act from that. Need to act from love and giving to others. That is what other people want and to receive, not your frustrations.
A temper is a luxury cannot afford. You are the one that calmly goes in there, points out that both sides want an agreement as they both have things can gain by getting from the other side. War will mean both sides get hurt.
They may be angry with the previous person they were talking to. By talking with you they can start again, there is no loss of pride from backing down as their argument was with a different person.
ready8 Philosophy, Psychology, Social skills Leave a comment January 14, 2016 1 MinuteHow to be a successful entertainerSpeak to the audience like they are your best friends. So for each person is like the entertainer talking to them and the show is just for them.
People want to see life and energy, so do and be that.
Do the entertainment with the audience, not at the audience. Of course the audience does not have to do anything.
After each performance, look at it, as always can do better. Then next time, do better. If want to be a good entertainer, will never be satisfied with how you have done. Otherwise will never be a great.
Always be original, yes it means you a different to other performers, but that is needed, otherwise there is nothing new and the audience will be bored by the same old thing.
With stage fright abd being nervous, remember that the audience wants you to be good at entertaining them. So wants you to be good.
Comedy
For comedians they want to see a jester, like the old court jester. The jester is the fool and idiot, they want to see somebody who is nice but dim and stupid. By laughing at them and what happens to them, they feel that the people in the audience are better than them, and that is what they like. They feel like they are winners and superior.
To be funny, the comedian has to feel funny. That is actually funny feelings, not just believe that he/she is funny. However need to be careful not to hurt or damage yourself.
Need to learn the trade, how to read audience facial expressions, how to play a theatre.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment December 24, 2015 1 MinuteResponsibility and RiskFor a person to succeed they must take responsibility and risks.
Not being a sheep
By a person taking responsibility, they can do whatever they like as they fir pay making it, doing it and also for the consequences if they are wrong.
This means they do not have to do what others tell them, because they do not need their approval or resources to do it.
So they can do their ideas, views and actions. They are free.
If they want others to be responsible as they do not want to take the risk themselves, then they must do what others agree to.
Without taking responsibility and risks a person will need others to do so, or there will not be anything.
So the person ends letting other people take responsibility and for this is effectively done by doing what they are told by the person who takes responsibility. They also end up doing what everyone else does as then they are not responsible and they can claim that others are.
This may seem to be easy, comfortable and pleasant. However this is just going along with the average.
Also if a person does not take responsibility they have no control, as they have given that the person who takes responsibility.
The reality of the universe is bigger and greater than what people decide to do and whatever people decide to do, reality and the consequences will eventually catch up with them.
Being at the bottom of the hierarchy
This refers to who are the entrepreneurs and managers, compared to who are the workers.
The people at the top are the ones that take risks and responsibility. They are the ones that take the risk and hire the other people. So they are in control
On business they are capital and wealth as as they that take the risk. It is the people employed who get paid each month or week even if things succeed and fail. As a result they work and get the money from the owner who is the one that has taken the risk. The owner gets the profit.
Creating
So to be genuinely creative, need to be true to yourself and do what is right and not what other people do. To do this a person has to take responsibility for their choices and actions.
This means taking the risk in case they are wrong, as a person will only truly know once they have or are doing it.
Without risk they cannot be trying anything new and going beyond the limits of what they can already do.
Normally countries and things are created by a person taking responsibility. Then other people want to have it, control that person etc.
Morality
To be truly moral, a person has to take responsibility for themselves and their actions, without this they cannot know if they are doing the right thing.
Also otherwise they are doing what the average does and everybody else does. This is not necessarily doing the right thing.
Not doing routine, habits, and traditions
Doing what you did before, may seem safe, however it is not necessarily what works now, or even what was the best thing to do in the past.
Listen to your ideas, look at what is really going on. Also, things change and you need to be aware of that.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment December 3, 2015 2 MinutesGreat DesignGreat iconic cars were originally designed to be great. There were no cut backs or compromises. The truth of the car’s ability is important.
As they are so good at what they do, they become icons.
If the manufacturer thinks they can cut back to save costs, because the item is already really good. Even though then it will not be quite so good. The product soon becomes not good enough and not the amazing thing it was before This is because it is so hard to make a great product and this will take away from that. Have to aim to make a fantastically amazing product.
They also need a great artistic designer to create a beautiful exterior and interior. Beauty is important.
Also taking a functional object and making it into an emotional object.
Creating joyful experiences and making people feel that they are rich.
It also needs to be seen with aspirational people and surroundings to make the product associated with these things.
People also want designs to be escapist and fantasy, so they can escape their everyday problems and boring lives.
People also want designs to be fun, exciting and entertaining. The best way to hide something is to make it so boring, no one wants to, or is interested in, looking at it.
Creating a design with great things in it
Great design is where the designer has really put their heart and soul into it, there is no other way and it cannot be faked. This creates a design with heart and soul.
The designer also have to care about spirit and beauty, for those things to be there.
To create great design, the designer really has to care.
All these things can be seen, experienced and felt in the design.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment September 18, 2015 1 MinuteHow to find out what someone is really likeFeel them
Feel the person feel them out got a person can fake externally, but your feelings will reveal the truth.
It is possible to feel if someone is judgemental, kind, evil, angry, happy etc.
If you start to feel angry when you are with a person, that person is angry.
As everything is one, you can see them by the effect they’re having on yourself your feelings, your thoughts, your spirit etc.
Observe
This is not just seeing, it is observing looking. By practicing this skill a person’s observation gets better and better and they see more and hear more and more.
Consciousness
Everything is one, the whole universe is one. So by putting your consciousness on another person, you can experience them, the physicality, psychology, spirit and connection with the Divine.
You can do this and experience, as much as you can your own self. This is just by focusing your consciousness on them.
Experience
The more you experience different kinds of people, then the next time that facet presents itself in another person, you will recognise, be able to see and understand it from before.
Be interested in others
Most people are not aware of others because they are not interested in others. They are so obsessed and involved in the ego of I and mine.
To be aware of others have to be interested in others, not just I, me and mine.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 28, 2015 1 MinuteHow to writeI believe it is important to:
•write from the heart
•be very honest and confess about what you are, have been through and have done
open up
That is where the real reality, emotion and energy is.
That will get past any fakeness and will touch prople. It means there is something there, with real life and not just an empty ego nothingness. A more rounded and interesting person.
It means a person has to be okay to be vulnerable and willing to reveal their flaws.
It does not matter if people see the person in tears, what matters is the truth.
Authenticity
A piece of writing is only authentic and real when it is written from a person’s own experiences; otherwise it is just a theory.
This is why a person does best with their writings, when they stick to their own field and areas, that they have experienced in their life themselves.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment June 17, 2015 1 MinuteSocial Skills (competitiveness)Competing with people means not making friends.
A person likes to know people who are like themselves.
Being friends is about mutual empathy, so experiencing things together, comunity, togetherness, sharing, service.
‘Do not walk in front as I may not follow, do not walk behind as I may not lead, just be beside me and be my friend’.
When a person competes with another and wins, the looser hates the winner as they did not get it. It also shows the looser that the winner is better than them, which the looser will hate them for. As a result they will not want to be friends.
So having a better car and so on will lead to the person with the less good car hating them.
A person may think that others will want to get to know them if they have a better car than them, are more famous etc. Yes other people who have less will want to be with them for a while to experience these things, but once they are bored of those things will not want to be actual long term friends as they are too different.
They also want to have those things and will probably hate the person for having more than they do. It is right not be be jealous and be happy for others having things, but people who manage that are a small minority.
So winning, being the best and showing it off is a selfish thing for a person and not about making friends.
Of course it is good to create and a person may get great rewards, but showing them off to people with less will not make friends of them.
To make a friend, be like them and so they can relate to you, be with you.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 12, 2015 1 MinuteSocial skills (basics)Focus on other people’s needs.
The first thing with social skills is to focus on the needs, welfare and wants of other people.
This means you can realise and be aware of what other people want and provide it.
If a person is just thinking about themselves and what they get, they will be in their own ego, just on themselves and oblivious to what other people want. As a result they will not get results.
In fact with this selfishness it can only happen that the person displays what they themselves want and so will repel others.
Companionship
People are social animals, they like to be with other people.
This means that they want to be with other people on a physical, psychological, spiritual and divine level.
They are happy with other people.
Sad with other people.
Party with other people.
Doing something with others makes something bigger.
To achieve this needs a person to empathise with others.
If things are going well for you, people want to be part of what you are having
If you are happy, well and things are going well for you then people would like to be part of what you are having.
So if you are a person who is happy, things are going well for you and are having fun. People want to be part of that.
People will be drawn to you and want to be part of your life.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 31, 2015 1 MinuteSocial skills (voice)Attacking is hard, firm, loud.
Friend is soft, gentle, quiet, yielding.
A friendly voice:
Quiet so speak the lowest can, but still easily heard.
Each note and tone starts and ends softly, so does not suddenly start, volume increases and decreases slowly.
High pitch as this has a shorter wavelength so is softer.
An attacking voice
Loud, this really forces the voice on the person, it is forcing yourself on the person, they have to conform. It is also painful as so loud.
Each note and tone starts and ends sharply, so does suddenly starts, volume increases and decreases fast. This makes each note harsher and harder.
Low pitch as this has a longer wavelength so is harder.
General:
People will be attracted by a soft voice and be repelled with a harsh one.
These of course need to be done with other factors, such as a man still needs to sound masculine etc.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 30, 2015 1 Minute‘The Everything Store’ book about Amazon and Jeff BezosWhat I learned from ‘The Everything Store’ book written by Brad Stone.
It is about Amazon and Jeff Bezos.
When a person’s life story is told, it is the series of choices they made which shows what they were.
Need to:
●care about the business more than anyone
●understand every detail of the businesses
●view the competitive landscape like a chess master.
●be obsessive about pleasing customers and providing services like free shipping. Be customer focused.
●want to push the boundaries of what is possible
● react harshly to efforts that do not meet rigorous standards
People want:
1st, Price
2nd, Convenience, such as how quickly and easily they get the product or service.
3rd, To feel close to who they are buying from, as the company can affect the purchaser.
Speak simply and positively in all customer communications, this normally means crossing out loads of words that have been written for them.
Watch for every small cost, for example even employee parking and snacks. Need to be frugal, as these savings can be passed on to make things cheaper for the customer.
Need to be able to focus on things.
An entrepreneur does not make the future. They make things that work in what the future is and so are successful.
Avoid luxuries like lifts, doing the work yourself, like taking the stairs instead, makes you stronger.
A leader must devote full attention to people when chatting to them and never give the impression they are hurried or distracted. However also are careful not to be let things get led away from the
Be genuinely:
● customer centric
●long term orientated
●like to invent
Very few companies have all 3 elements.
Most companies are not those things, are focused on competition, rather than the customer. They also want things that will pay dividends on 2 or 3 years and if they don’t, they nove on to something else. They prefer to be close followers, than inventors because it is safer.
Jeff Bezos is hyper intelligent.
Coming up with a business idea is often a messy process with no single ‘aha’ moment. The reality often does not have as much clarity.
Must be keen on thinking about things and be very determined.
Focus on the task, not what other people are thinking of you.
Try and learn lessons from everyone you meet.
Quickly abandon old notions, when better ones present themselves.
Recruitment needs to pro actively advertise jobs to the best people out there, in an unapologetically elitist manner. Then invite them to an interview, where they are asked to solve really difficult problems.
Try competitors products as a customer, to find their weaknesses that you can improve upon with your service.
People start their own business as want to be a true owner of the business, with the equity and massive financial rewards.
People want to be employed as lucrative and comfortable. They are scarred of loosing that.
Before start a business, do revenue projections in Excel, even if they later prove to be radically inaccurate.
A person may think that other people will not want to buy the product, even they will be converted when they see other people buy it.
Amazon 2
Amazon does not make money when they sell things, they make money when they help customers make purchase decisions. This means reviews saying which products are rubbish.
The original idea for Amazon was that someone would be allowed to make a profit as an intermediary. The key question is: Who will get to be that middleman?’
Need employees to be high IQ brainiacs.
Hiring only the brightest and best, is the key to a company’s success. A company lives or dies on that one.
Every time hire someone, that person should raise the bar for the next hire, so that the overall talent pool is always improving.
A sales person has to be articulate, convinced themselves and talk with conviction about what product will do.
It is one thing to have a good idea, it is another thing for a person to be able to execute it. Track record of a person is the best indicator.
At interview ask problem solving questions that test the quality of a candidate’s thinking e.g. ‘How many gas stations in the United States?’
A site must have writers and editors to create editorial content, that makes it the most trustworthy and authoritative source of information on the subject, that people come back to for, in it’s own right.
Editorial content creates the shopping experience, comfort and trust in the site.
People like and want to be involved with people who are fun, exude energy and do things.
Staff get excited and enthusiastic about growing a company to be big.
To do things a better way, must have low regard for the usual way of doing things.
Caution and respect are the best way to meet with a business rival.
With retail, cash flow is helped by customers paying before, or when get the goods, but retailer pays suppliers much later. Use this cash to fund expansion.
Focus on and be concerned about customers, not competitors, as customers send the money, not competitors.
Be able to laugh at your disasters and mistakes.
Find people who have worked at the best competitors, so they can create that stuff for you. If at first they refuse to join you, try and try again.
To entice people to join you, find what they are interested in that their current employer does not do eg. ecommerce, then if you will give it importance, they will want to join you so they are doing that thing.
Put huge efforts into courting top people to join your company.
When a business grows, the people who were in top positions, may not be the best to be top anymore. They are not able to manage a bigger operation, the company can now attract better people etc. So they have to go to side positions. They normally then get frustrated and leave, as is like watching their child move, to be with another family.
Great engineers may not be able to manage a team, so useless when the company grows.
Barnes and Noble failed with online business compared to Amazon because:
●Not willing to lose money in what they saw as a small part of their business.
●Did not put their most resourceful employees on it, as believed it would take sales away from their stores.
●Distribution geared towards large shipments of books to physical stores and not small amounts to customers. This also led to long, painful and full of errors customer service.
People have different traits. Jeff Bezos said ‘Physically, I’m a chicken. Mentally, I’m bold’.
He believes in being bold. Bold and not timid, doing investments where decent probability of getting a leadership advantage.
Some investments will pay off, others will not, they learn valuable lessons in either case.
Decisions based on long term prospects of boosting free cash flow and growing market share, rather than short term profitability.
Metrics:
1st, metrics that indicate market leadership: customer and revenue growth, degree that customers continue to purchase on a repeat basis, strength of the brand.
Invest to expand and leverage customer base, brand and infrastructure to create an enduring franchise.
Focus on your own business, not investing in and working on lots of other companies.
Be strictly frugal on all daily operations, executives fly coach class etc.
Pay for things with cash, be frugal in giving away equity.
Hire the best in each field, continually court them to work for you, until they eventually say yes.
Jeff Bezos decides and approves things and not have to go to anyone else for approval.
Get staff from another related company that is best in it’s field. Then try and get those staff to use their connections in social events etc. to stealthily recruit more staff from that company.
Sam Walton, the Wal Mart founder ‘It’s all a matter of attitude and the capacity to constantly study and question the management of the business.’
Make sure company does not become inactive and slow moving like an institution.
As a toy retailer, have to predict a year in advance what will sell and in what quantities, then order it from manufacturers. Any stock left after Christmas, is sold off for almost nothing. So need specialist buyers who really can predict the toy market.
In every negotiation and discussion with staff, suppliers etc. make it like the end customer, has a seat at the table. This is so bring up and put focus on their side and how things willing effect them.
Negotiations are long, involved and excruciating, but it leads to the bits where the profit margin is.
If a company always stays focused on the customer, it will always be fine, even during tough times. Must be focused on the experience that the customer has using your service.
Get a big well known and wanted zeitgeist item, sell it at a loss, to gain pr and customers who will be so happy they hopefully stay loyal and buy other things in the future. This needs courage, bravery and might un nerve senior executives as costs so much, but is needed to stay ahead of competitors.
Executives told must think like an owner of the business. To make it work in practice, asked after they make decisions, ‘Is that what an owner of the business would choose?’
For customer services they track:
1, time an employee spends on phone with a customer
2, phone calls and emails sent by customers per order
And aims to reduce both.
Aim is that self help tools means customers never need to call or email at all.
Executives have to prove their performance and statements with figures and statistics.
An executive should do mystery shopper tests with all parts of the business eg. make a mystery customer service call. Make sure quality matches the performance figures given by executives.
Add rankings wherever can as people want to be top, make these rankings transparent. Eg show customers and sellers sales volume ranking for all products, each stock pickers speeds in warehouse. People will be addicted to the game.
A new business that fails is not a mistake, it is an experiment, which will probably go into other experiments that each evolve into other ideas later on.
Need to try out ideas that are outlandish, even if employees think they are ‘fever dreams’.
Customers want to get things immediately and this is a big challenge and new ideas on how to do things.
Staff will always see reasons, why should not try something new.
An interesting clever and capable person you know, probably knows other such people. Use that connection to find out and meet other people they know, that could be useful.
Need to be:
•shrewd
•self aware
•know how far can push something
When looking for managers, if they are very versatile, intelligent, move quickly and get big things done. It is more important than if they have experience in the industry the company works in.
A boss must have truly high standards that staff have to meet, expressing they are needed, or will be beaten by competitors and not settle for less.
For a company to be frugal, the boss must also do it himself with his own company expenses.
Amazon values:
•customer obsession
•frugality
•bias for action (even if does not work, had taken a risk and been resourceful?))
•ownership
•high bar for talent
Every company as it grows begins to compromise their standards in recruitment to get the people it needs. A senior person good at hiring, must do the final interview each time to ensure that does not happen.
Has to be a fast pace of hard work and bug work loads. Some will resist and leave as not what they want. The company accepts that ‘if cannot excel and put everything into it, this might not the place for you’.
They do the warehousing so they master everything that touches the customer experience.
Do everything you can for a problem not to let down a customer.
If a person is an astute listener, they can get people to confront their own shortcomings. This can also enable them as an adjudicater, to resolve tensions between people.
A company where bosses are focused on saleries and perks, not the business, will not do well.
When loads of money in a business, or from investors, easy to have a fever of reckless binges, spending on investments that will not pay back.
During hard economic climates, conviction, improvisation, discipline, efficiency and eliminating waste helps a company survive.
Hard economic times help companies get creative in improving efficiency, as they have to.
Suppliers will demand shorter payment times, if they think the company might go bust, so not be able to pay them. Suppliers may need a presentation of your finances to be reassured.
Money is made by:
•building a lasting company
•learning from mistakes
•A company not being based on the industry it is in, but with the abstract concept of starting with the customer and working backwards.
People may not like something as it changes their own identity, so want it to fail so that will not happen.
As a toy retailer, have to predict a year in advance what will sell and in what quantities, then order it from manufacturers. Any stock left after Christmas, is sold off for almost nothing. So need specialist buyers who really can predict the toy market.
In every negotiation and discussion with staff, suppliers etc. make it like the end customer, has a seat at the table. This is so bring up and put focus on their side and how things willing effect them.
Negotiations are long, involved and excruciating, but it leads to the bits where the profit margin is.
If a company always stays focused on the customer, it will always be fine, even during tough times. Must be focused on the experience that the customer has using your service.
Get a big well known and wanted zeitgeist item, sell it at a loss, to gain pr and customers who will be so happy they hopefully stay loyal and buy other things in the future. This needs courage, bravery and might un nerve senior executives as costs so much, but is needed to stay ahead of competitors.
Executives told must think like an owner of the business. To make it work in practice, asked after they make decisions, ‘Is that what an owner of the business would choose?’
For customer services they track:
1, time an employee spends on phone with a customer
2, phone calls and emails sent by customers per order
And aims to reduce both.
Aim is that self help tools means customers never need to call or email at all.
Executives have to prove their performance and statements with figures and statistics.
An executive should do mystery shopper tests with all parts of the business eg. make a mystery customer service call. Make sure quality matches the performance figures given by executives.
Each person in charge of a different section eg. Children’s books.
Should have one page for each product so is an authoritive product catalogue that is useful in it’s own right as a catalogue. It explains product once in one listing that goes to one page, then choices of sellers in that page. Not lots of listings, each seperate listing from each seller, goes to seperate page from each different seller.
If someone else on Amazon marketplace sells the same product for cheaper than Amazon, let them do it and then Amazon figure out how they are able to do it.
Staff, suppliers etc will always say is unfair if something else comes out that is cheaper or better than them. They will try to find reasons to try and stop this new rival thing, even if they are not true. Even if upsets other staff in the business,, still have to do it.
At Wal Mart the world’s biggest retailer, to be frugal even top executives stay at cheap hotel chains.
Walmart sees advertising and pricing as two ends of the same thing. They spend a small percentage of their turnover on advertising, because they spend that money on reducing prices. The marketing strategy is their pricing strategy, of everyday low pricing.
During rapid expansion, very easy to over staff things.
Costco business model:
•value trumps everything
is about customer loyalty
•value is why customers will go to their strange store locations
•mark up everything 14%, even if could get more. Wall Street always want them to raise prices on higher margin categories, but they will not.
•yearly membership fee makes all of their gross profit and is one time pain for customers, but re inforces concept of prices cannot find elsewhere such as tv $200 cheaper than anywhere else.
•has no need to advertise due to their low prices
•huge numbers of suppliers will not supply them as they sell so cheap, but sales volumes, they pay their bills on time and keep their promises, so eventually they will.
Make sure none of your products have higher prices than elsewhere.
Some retailers work out how to charge more, others work out how to charge less. Amazon are the second.
A company has to decide what it is great at.
Self reinforcing loop, like a flywheel that gets quicker and quicker:
1,low prices
2, more customer visits
3,more sales volumes
4, more commission paying sellers attracted to the site
5, Get more from fixed costs like fulfillment centres and web servers.
6, Can lower costs further
7, Back to point 1
To test an advertising medium, advert itself etc. Need to stop it running in an area, to see how well the ad actually works and compare where ad does and does not run.
Savings in advertising, goes into improved customer experience, which leads to more customers from word of mouth. This accelerates the flywheel.
Seperate customers:
•time sensitive pay for free shipping
•non time sensitive get free delivery.
Airlines seperate consumer from business customers by who is staying at their destination on a Saturday night. They charge each one differently.
Discounts for ordering more, such as free shipping for orders over a certain amount, encourages customers to buy more.
Working for a boss with high standards is hard, but people in hindsight will be amazed on what they had achieved.
Staff who are not good are rejected, good staff are asked to do all they can.
Exit interviews with staff are important and dine privately with the Jeff Bezos. Make it a nice chat with people who leave. However must fully enforce non compete clauses, if executives go to rival businesses.
Focus in business goals that will be long term like unlimited selection, not short term cash generation things, however lucrative.
The editorial dept gives a human touch to the pages on the site. Uses clever and entertaining writing, plus intuition in what to promote.
The site’s software recommends other things customer might like based on their previous purchases and what they have looked it.
However the software out performed the editorial and writing dept, so it was closed down.
Then came software that did automatically generated recommendations and a standard layout, so no people needed.
Adopted children can have a very high need to prove themselves and be successful.
Need a tireless work ethic, which he got from his parents.
Need to be totally and incredibly focused and determined on what are doing.
Need to value self-reliance, resourcefulness and hate inefficiency. Try everything, nothing cannot do, although must not push it too far.
It is harder to be kind than clever.
Need to be able to be tough, but also sweet and loyal.
To achieve things, need to be self disciplined.
Once decide what want, work hard for it.
Need to be very creative.
Parents need to nurture a child’s creativity.
When teenager knew needed to be wealthy to create his personal goals, such as saving humanity with orbiting space station human colonies, with earth as a nature reserve.’
Technology, patience and long term thinking pays off.
Amazon’s guiding philosophy ‘Step by step, steady progress towards seemingly impossible goals will win the day. Setbacks are temporary. Naysayers are best ignored.’
When just selling books on the site and raising more money from investors, he did not tell anyone including investors, his secret plans which were to eventually sell everything on the site. This is probably because people would have thought it too was much to achieve and not believable. He does not tell people his bigger next stage goals.
Company gets bigger it outgrows it’s internal structures and so:
•more complicated
•harder to keep everyone co ordinated and moving quickly
•interdependent divisions waste time co ordinating with each other
Themes like ‘Get Big Fast’, or ‘Get Our House in Order’ etc. help get people in company to go in right direction.
To sort out their distribution sytems:
•brought in scientists and engineers, not retail distribution veterans
•hired all of the 10 smartest peoole they knew
•used maths and algorithms to work out where and when to stock products, how most efficiently put combine customers’ orders into a single box etc.
•computer works out each fulfilment centre’s demand, excess capacity and backlogs, then passes the order to the correct one.
•carefully track metrics like, shipments each fulfilment centre received, how many orders shipped out, how many not shipped, how big is backlog and why, per unit cost of packing and shipping each item, number and contents of trucks waiting to drop off and deliver things etc. Conference each day, where managers reports these figures and must have them ready before the meetings.
•gave mistakes serious names so taken seriously
•each year must reduce defects and increase productivity
Toyota lean manufacturing philosophy: •Company rationalise every expense in terms of value it creates for customers.
•Workers pull red cord and stop all production on the floor if they find a defect.
If a company needs more communication to avoid chaos, means things not working in a close organic way. Need to work out how teams can communicate and co ordinate less, so not use up time to do this.
Adding manpower to complex projects delays progress, as needs more time and money spent on communication. So teams no bigger than 10 for each problem.
Need to question the orthodoxies in every industry and process. Be critical and throw around crazy ideas of how can do things better.
To solve problems and work out solutions, a CEO has to be able to properly work on shop floor with workers and managers.
Software designed for similar business models, may have serious shortcomings when used for yours.
Amazon goes with staff ideas when they are based on principles, maths, patience and tenacity.
The CEO needs to roam the business looking for defects, flaws in the company’s systems and culture.
Reward employees who identify activities that are beaurocratic and wasteful. Also award that helps company do things to lower price to customers. These help re inforce the values within the company.
People in business need to know that running a business is hard, is not a place to go to retire.
A company cannot make a good decision about a feature or product, without knowing precisely how it would be communicated to the world and what the hallowed customer would make of it.
Steve Jobs was known for the clarity of his insights about what the customer wanted.
Need to be able to be charming and have great humour in public, but in private also able to do very firm discipline with staff.
Things that cause disciplinary action:
•not have right answer
•trying to bluff right answer
•take credit for someone else’s work
•exhibited a whiff of internal politics
•any uncertainty or frailty in the heat of battle
Any bullshit, or making stuff up is the end of someone’s employment.
Stress to people if their work:
•should be A team, not the B team. Spending time with team staff, are a waste of the CEO’s time.
•if there is nothing interest in their plans for the business
•how if not brilliant are letting the CEO down
•if something is stupid
•if the CEO does not like something
A CEO has to be good at allocating capital, manpower and make hyper rational business decisions. Also needs to be focused on improving customer service and the company’s performance. There must be no tolerance of stupidity, even accidental stupidity. As a result people have to be expendable.
Need to care and be passionate about it, so will be angry if goes wrong, or is not brilliant.
Must have plans in place for emergency scenarios, if things fail with service delivery.
Make sure when negotiating with a supplier, have some business with a second supplier. So when negotiating with the first supplier, really can immediately stop using them and are not bluffing.
Business is Darwinian survival!
Start an online marketplace, bring retailers in, watch what they do and what they sell, understand it, then get into selling that thing yourself.
Do not be bound by the old rules of an industry.
Even small things, like being able to say delivery date, helps with marketing strategy.
Amazon Prime yearly subscription for free 2 day delivery, $79 small enough people will try it, large enough that people will not shop elsewhere which was it’s purpose.
Amazon Prime launched on guts and experience of knowing would change behaviour to bigger orders and in new categories, even though financial analysis said would be too expensive to provide the free two day shipping.
It fed the self propelling flywheel of customers spend more, volumes increase, can negotiate lower shipping prices which would fund Prime and lead to lower prices for customers and so more customers.
Amazon
•Customers addicted to ordering and getting free 2 day delivery
Made most of it so ordered more
Only profitable once Amazon could ship entire order in one package
Unpopular with staff for first few years,
•worried would force them to do his other pet projects
•it’s estimated losses
•took a few years to show it was a success
Staff kept on dropping promotions for it and Jeff had to closely track it to ensure they promoted it.
Putting fulfilment centre’s where few other food jobs, let Amazon get away with exploiting staff. However theft was high.
Employee delinquency controlled by point system for late arrival etc.6 points and were let go and staff told system before they started and no second chances.
To prevent unionisation:
•Amazon listened to staff complaints to combat possible unionisation.
•Made it clear that unionisation would not be tolerated.
•High staff turnover made it hard to organise unionisation of workers.
•When 4 day German strike, Amazon would not negotiate with the union.
•Biggest is Amazon will fire people, eg. closed down call centre and say for another reason, but staff know is because they wanted to unionise. Will even fire people if technically not legal and then staff member has to fight to get job back.
•Customers addicted to ordering and getting free 2 day delivery
Made most of it so ordered more
Only profitable once Amazon could ship entire order in one package
Unpopular with staff for first few years,
•worried would force them to do his other pet projects
•it’s estimated losses
•took a few years to show it was a success
Staff kept on dropping promotions for it and Jeff had to closely track it to ensure they promoted it.
Putting fulfilment centre’s where few other food jobs, let Amazon get away with exploiting staff. However theft was high.
Employee delinquency controlled by point system for late arrival etc.6 points and were let go and staff told system before they started and no second chances.
To prevent unionisation:
•Amazon listened to staff complaints to combat possible unionisation and
•Made it clear that unionisation would not be tolerated.
•High staff turnover made it hard to organise unionisation of workers.
•When 4 day German strike, Amazon would not negotiate with the union.
•Biggest is Anazon will fire people, eg. closed down call centre and say for another reason, but staff know is because they wanted to unionise. Will even fire people if technically not legal and then staff member has to fight to get job back.
Institutions normally always say no to unorthodox moves by saying no to things. However an entrepreneur needs to be able to do a series of improbable, expensive and riskey bets. Needs to be able invent ways of making money
Jeff Bezos can quickly understand complex new computer algorithms. Also how people work in warehouses etc.
To help develop its search algorithm, the Amazon website collected a vast trove of customer data, from the moment it opened for business.
Need to open development centres where the best pools of technical talent are. Here small teams work on isolated projects, so have energy and agility of a startup, while minimising the need for communication with the larger company.
They are world class for customers, employees not so much and suppliers not at all. In the end they believe it is customers that matter. However if go too far, the company will be very damaged by loosing best staff to rival companies.
They do all they can to make sellers compete on the site.
Amazon is a business with data at ut’s heart and it’s systems are built around that.
Automated tools so buyers order merchandise based on dozens of variables like:
•seasonal trends
•past purchasing behaviors
•how many customers searching for particular product at certain times
•etc.
Bots scan rival sites and lower Amazon’s prices if they are ever more expensive. Ensured Amazon always matched the lowest prices elsewhere, offline or online.
System held buyers accountable for:
•Products being in stock
•Prices competitive
System showed if a person was not doing this and Amazon disciplined the buyer.
The person in charge must pay attention to and not allow dramas and political disputes within a company to fester. One example is if someone else is jealous of another staff member.
Do you can to hire the brightest minds in each field.
Look for bottlenecks in processes, so can remove them.
Even if faster than every other company, still try and go faster.
So third party developers can be as productive as possible with the API, they give them as many of Amazon’s things as possible through it. Amazon could never imagine what people will create, so the bits are broken down into the smallest possible tiny pieces so developers can create new combinations and things. Eg. Payments, messaging, bandwidth etc.
They are world class for customers, employees not so much and suppliers not at all. In the end they believe it is customers that matter. However if go too far, the company will be very damaged by loosing best staff to rival companies.
They do all they can to make sellers compete on the site.
Amazon is a business with data at ut’s heart and it’s systems are built around that.
Automated tools so buyers order merchandise based on dozens of variables like:
•seasonal trends
•past purchasing behaviors
•how many customers searching for particular product at certain times
•etc.
Bots scan rival sites and lower Amazon’s prices if they are ever more expensive. Ensured Amazon always matched the lowest prices elsewhere, offline or online.
System held buyers accountable for:
•Products being in stock
•Prices competitive
System showed if a person was not doing this and Amazon disciplined the buyer.
The person in charge must pay attention to and not allow dramas and political disputes within a company to fester. One example is if someone else is jealous of another staff member.
Do you can to hire the brightest minds in each field.
Look for bottlenecks in processes, so can remove them.
Even if faster than every other company, still try and go faster.
So third party developers can be as creative as possible with the API, they give them as many of Amazon’s things as possible through it. Amazon could never imagine what people will create, so the bits are broken down into the smallest possible pieces so developers can create new combinations and things . Eg. Payments, messaging, bandwidth etc. The smaller, more simpler and primative the bits, the more that can be rearranged.
Even set up in a different country if that is where the tech talent is, if a talented staff member wants to move to the home country, get them to set up a development have there to build a project.
The leader must have a very clear vision of where the project will eventually go to and be. Also how to do it must be figured out in advance, not as the project goes a long.
The leader who is selected for a project, must be someone that the staff in that project think is competent to lead them.
A company needs to try doing daring things, in order to be great. However institutions tend to say no, when decisions like this come along.
Important to be a good, persistent and tenacious negotiator, even for things that are a small amount of your net worth. Keep going with a negotation and never give up, it can take months.
If there is a decision that staff are not happy with, if the CEO says that he or she will take responsibility for it and the outcome of doing it that way, the staff will be happy to proceed.
Create a company with the advantage of a low cost structure, so can survive in a low margin business.
Amazon expects staff to do impossible missions, to impossibly high standards, on a shoestring budget.
Software needs to be designed so that unsophisticated people can use it, such as grandmothers etc. Eg. needs to be pre set up to fully use, automatically connect to other devices etc.
If a new technology or product that the market will move to, is less profitable and will destroy and overtake your old very profitable business. Better that you bring it out, than someone else does. To do this need to set up new autonomous organisations, charged with building new and independent businesses around the disruptive technology. Those new seperate organisations, will be happy to do things that kill the old business. Those businesses have to make it sound alluring, to attract the brightest and best talent. Each business must do 1 thing with total focus and aspire to be the best.
A new product idea may have flaws and set backs when first bring it out, but if it is where you believe the market is going in the long term, do not be deterred, persevere with changes and improvements until it works.
In all business ideas and decisions, start with the customer, and work backwards.
A good staff member will be excited by the challenge of building new things, even moving from the established big thing they are already in charge of.
A staff member needs to just have one business unit, or will not go after each one with tenacity.
Read lots and lots of books of other people’s ideas. Be in touch with other people who are creating things and ideas that you can work with and learn from.
Go into a market not being done well by anyone else.
To create a great music solution and be the biggest in the market, Apple made the Ipod portable music player, Itunes computer based music buying software etc. all a seemless one thing.
Have massive goals for building great products and services that provide to the customer, not matter if staff think you are insane as so hard to do.
If staff believe strongly that something should be done, but the CEO does not agree. The CEO must do what he/she believes should be done.
The entrepreneur works out the business model, product designers and engineers may not understand, or agree with it. So the entrepreneur must ensure the designers create what he/she believes it should be.
Need to put pressure on suppliers, if need something that they do not want to supply.
Need to use size and growth, to get bigger and bigger discounts from suppliers. A monopolistic position in the marketplace helps to do this. Need to be diplomatic to suppliers, so they do not group together and rebel.
Supply chain must:
•automatically buy from cheapest source
•rules for suppliers to follow
•suppliers can pay promotional fees, to be in more prominent position on site, like store retailers do.
•listen to, be sensitive to and address supplier’s needs
•use things retailer does, like lower returns of unsold stock to get refunds, to get better prices from suppliers.
•Negotiate in all areas, eg. Credit terms etc.
•if supplier not comply, not put in personalisation and recommendation system, so product available, but not promoted and their sales go down up to 40%. After a month of this, they approach Amazon agreeing to the terms.
• sell pushy demands to suppliers, by saying the benefits passed on to customers. Constant and continuous negotiation with suppliers for this purpose.
• suppliers with lower sales and profit margins for Amazon, must improve the deals for Amazon, or get decreased promotion.
• retailer tells supplier how much it will pay for products and demands concessions if it believes supplier’s profit margin is too high
They negotiate much harder with smaller publishers, that they really depend on them.
To keep future negotiations civilised, both parties must feel like they gain something valuable out of the current transaction.
Instant gratification, of instantly getting the product or service 24/7, is a huge selling point.
To keep a new product secret, only way is to not show it to people, as even with non disclosure agreements, some people will say.
First negotiate with suppliers using inducements, then if not work use threats like not putting them in prominent places on site and recommendations.
Must not tolerate delays from suppliers.
Sometimes need to choose what to price a product, using gut feel and not research. Also can use experience from other industries or sectors.
Can loose money on selling a new device as then customers will come to you for future purchases. So is an investment in getting customers.
Keep secret things that may mean people, or other parties, want to stop, or not be involved with a project as not in their interests. Not lie, just not mention that factor. If asked about it, say not yet been decided.
To create gadget that succeeds, focus on making it do what people want, before making it look sexy.
Be careful not to over order stocks of an entirely new product, better to order more if it sells well.
To sell a new product, need to educate and promote new ideas of the product to customers.
To build a new product franchise, need to be able to withstand short term losses from the costs of advertising it.
When supply something, make sure think about and have all the caveats of how the customer can use it in writing. Eg. What it cannot be sold for less than a certain price.
Technological advances that reduce cost of supply, will lead to losses and pain for prople in some parts of the supply processes.
Distribution systems focused on efficency and selection.
After a customer joins Amazon Prime, they double their spending. This is because each time come to the site, they end up buying far more and from different categories, as well as what they intended to buy when arriving at the site. This meant that more suppliers wanted to stock and ship from Amazon’s fulfillment centres, so their products benefitted from Amazon’s free 2 day shipping.
Make sure when doing new businesses, company still invests in, fixes and improves existing primary business, or it will wither and rivals will overtake it.
An online marketplace must stop sellers who overcharge, or charge more than other sites, for things like postage and packing.
Trust between colleagues helps remove acrimony between them. This trust is built up from having worked with each other for a long time.
Even if are a key staff member, if they are not brilliant, must have no concerns or worries about them leaving.
Must be deeply gracious and appreciative to staff that perform heroically, with unexpected thoughtful presents to express appreciation.
A great CEO:
1, Embraces truth and engage their decision making around the best truth at the time.
2, Not be tethered by conventional thinking, can change everything, everything is open for discussion.
Use bruises from the comoany’s past mistakes, to try and build the right culture.
Get as much feedback as possible and take it seriously.
People will work at a company for less money, if it has a great internal culture.
Zappos online shoe sales firm offers no charge rerurns on items for up to a year after purchase. So customers can order 4 pairs if shoes, return 3 and keep one if them.
Look at book ‘Delivering happiness: A path to Profits, Passion and Purpose’ by Tony Hseih.
To compete with Amazon and not squander the opportunity a company needs, more great engineers, great software, talented people, more sophisticated fulfillment capabilities and to move quickly.
Amazon has loads of ways to out compete rivals.
When given the choice of obsessing over competitors, or obsessing over customers, should obsess over customers. Pay attention to what competitors do, but not where should put your energy.
Customers would rather have as much self service as possible in the business and so pay lower prices.
A company will die if it looses touch with what customers want, the changing tastes of consumers and the ‘truths of the time’.
If company does what stock market wants, it will not focus on the customer correctly and do what is right for the very long term.
Need to be careful of costs that cannot be quickly cut in a recession, like long term leases. Especially for less good parts of the business, that could bring the whole company down.
Need staff to have very high standards and know what they are doing.
Amazon will stop selling a supplier’s products if it does not get what it wants, but customers can still buy through third party sellers on the site.
Premium brands would not sell to Amazon as did not want their brands tarnished with bargain basement prices.
To act in the interests of customers, may have to do things that go against the interests of suppliers. Need to do those things to dominate the market, even if the suppliers try and stop you from doing it. Most suppliers will try and stop you, but still supply you, as they need to sell through your dominant sales channel.
Can use dominance in one industry, to transition into other similar ones.
To stop a fight between companies, mention the collateral damage, such as how customers, authors and all other people affected by it.
Whereas Amazon might be forced to accept deal terms from big monopolistic suppliers, Amazon makes medium and smaller sized suppliers adhere to the terms Amazon wants and those terms are totally different. It will stop selling the items of smaller suppliers, until they submit.
The stock market may not like a new business at the start of it going on the stock market, but after a while, once they understand what it can do, the stock price can go massively up.
Amazon goes to massive lengths to do structures and methods that lowers their taxes and uses them to pass the savings on to customers. It is a big part of their competitive advantage. The 80 person tax department uses internal company rulebooks, flowcharts and maps to do this. Affects all staff instructions documents for what can do, say, go, when, where, how can do things, company in group working for etc. Staff told why it is critical to do these things. It is co ordinated and organised by company’s lawyers, who issue questionnaires to staff to:
•ensure staff are doing things correctly
•collect information to enable the lawyers to organise and label things using the right wording.
Missionaries end up making more money than mercenaries. Amazon is a missionary.
Missionaries have righteous goals and are trying to make the world a better place.
Mercenaries are out for power and money and will run over anyone who gets in the way.
If a politician threatens state taxes, they normally back down once Amazon threatens to close down a fulfilment centre in the state and so hundreds of job losses. Will also use carrot of promising to build fulfilment centres in a state. It fights in all kinds of ways.
Be a far sighted chess player, once lost one advantage, cultivate other ones.
Secretly buy large volumes from competitors, to create data that measures quality and speed of their services. This data goes to the top of the company.
Amazon has strict non disclosure agreements and strong possible legal consequences for speaking publically about things.
By selling lots of categories, can massively drop prices in one category and cope with losses. They do this to force a rival that just does one category, out of business; or to sell their business to Amazon because they are scarred that Amazon could even sell the things in the category for free.
Customers offered monthly subscription for diaper deliveries, to get big savings, free for first year Amazon Prime membership, etc.
If a big rival company wants to acquire a company which has techniques that could put them ahead of you, or bring them up to the same level. Make sure you acquire them, not the rival.
High end manufacturers ensure retaillers sell their items for a high price to:
●protect the brand
●ensure as many retailers as possible will and can sell the items, as not cheaper elsewhere.
●stop retailers demanding lower wholesale prices
Amazon does all kinds of tricks, to get around this.
If a manufacturer cuts off supply, Amazon believes they will eventually supply them again. As Amazon has great information on products and reviews about a vast selection of products. So it is where customers go when they are ready to buy.
Amazon may get the manufacturer back by promising not to lower prices again, but soon they break their promise. They do this by justifying that selllers on their Marketplace and elsewhere on the web, are selling for cheaper and Amazon has to match the lowest price. Manufacturer will say that these lower prices are not from authorised retailers.
For those manufacturers that have removed direct supply to Amazon, the products are still available through the Amazon Marketplace.
A store can explain a high end product’s advantages in a way that a website cannot, so worth a manufacturer protecting the store’s margins, so they can sell the items by ensuring online retailers do not sell it for less.
Amazon’s mission is to drive inefficiencies out of the supply chain, to lower prices to customers.
When Amazon sees a product selling briskly on the marketplace, it starts selling the item directly itself.
The cheapest seller of a product gets the default ‘buy box’, causes sellers to race to it being sold for £0. So sellers need to learn to source hot new products, gain exclusives and build a lean organisation. Many that leave, return due to 200 million active users and brisk sales. For sellers it is like heroin, as first they get brisk sales, but then Amazon undercuts them on price. The sellers complain, but in doing so, they just cut themselves off.
If suppliers do not supply Amazon, they are told:
•Amazon will get supplies through the grey market
•every time a customer searches for their product, they will be taken to adverts for their direct rivals’ products
Even if manufacturer stops supplying:
1,
Amazon will not give contact details of Marketplace sellers on their site, so manufacturers cannot see how they are getting their supplies, or who they are.
2,
Other authorised dealers also sell the manufacturers products through ‘Fulfilled by Amazon’, so the customer benefits from Amazon Prime free delivery.
Amazon sells refurbished, slightly damaged new stock and used products itself on the marketplace using it’s warehousedeals.com brand to get around the manufacturer’s set retail prices. Amazon wants to become biggest liquidator on the planet and uses to get around a manufacturer’s set prices.
Track which firms could become future rivals.
Have packaging materials, branding etc. that means it is easily recognisable to consumers. Make sure it forms a good bond with consumers.
More boards of directors, shareholders and other stakeholders, means more conflicting opinions.
Amazon’s first priority is selling customers products and services, at the lowest possible price. Their second priority is giving customers the choice of being able to buy anything.
If even a big retailer’s supply for a market comes from a small number of large companies, then the retailer has to do what those supplying companies insist on.
If supply comes from lots of small suppliers and there is a very large retailer, then the suppliers have to do what the retailer insists on.
Need to always focus on how your products can be better than other rivals, especially if can be sold for a cheaper price.
Amazon self service website meant loads of books could be put on there, market determines economic rewards. Not publishing editors who subjectivity decide what market will like and slow innovation. Even improbable ideas get tried and many of those end up working. So Amazon wanted to cut out the need for publishers.
Even if a new business idea has massive problems in the short term, like existing players trying to stop it, gauge the success of it in the long term.
Price comparison app so users could take pictures or scan items in shops, see if Amazon cheaper. Amazon gave discount up to $15 if customer then bought on Amazon. Also enabled Amazon to find out prices of retail rivals.
Lesson: give customers way to see that your are cheaper and use it to find out rival’s prices.
If customers are not satisfied with it’s products, customers will not come out and defend it’s critics.
Jeff Bezos wrote the following for a company to conduct itself and be perceived, so be liked by their customers, loved, perceived of as cool. Not be feared and hated.
Then ranked companies other by how well they did each:
Not cool:
Rudeness,
Defeating tiny guys
Close-following
Obsessing over competitors
Capturing all the value for the company
Pandering to the crowd
Hypocrisy
Mercenaries
Cool:
Young,
Risk taking
Winning
Polite
Defeating bigger unsympathetic guys
Inventing
Explorers
Empowering others
Leadership
Conviction
Straightforwardness
Authenticity
Thinking big
The unexpected
Missionaries
He also said being reliable helps gets a company to be loved.
To be loved:
•Being polite, reliable and customer obsessed is not enough.
•Need other things such as a pioneering spirit that can come across and be perceivable by the customer base.
Amazon is about gaining customer loyalty for their purchases.
Official internal emergency system:
Sev-5: minor and engineer can fix during course of a normal workday.
Sev-1: urgent problem that sets off a cavalcade of pagers, requires immediate response and situation will be reviewed by member of the senior management team.
Bezos has email address for customers to escalate things to->Jeff Bezos forwards with just a question mark->staff member drop everything so in a few hours can solve problem and say about how happened ->response reviewed by succession of managers->goes to Jeff Bezos.
Amazon’s direct marketing tool decentralised, so product managers can direct emails to customers who look at a product, but have not made a purchase.
Truth springs forth when people debate their different ideas and perspectives. Can get quite confrontational.
No amount of revenue is ever worth jeopardizing customer trust and the company’s bond with customers. Even if such a choice will reduce the long-term revenue that comes from that part of the business.
Anecdotes and feedback from customers are researched carefully, because they say something about the company’s metrics and processes. They are a precious source of information.
Need to put filtering tools in software, so staff cannot do certain things that may not be good for the business.
Metrics rather than editorial judgement makes every important decision including what features to introduce. However feedback from just one customers can also change a policy, if it reflects a larger problem.
Jeff Bezos will put a lot of attention on a single area if there is a problem there.
High standards means, although stressful for staff, staff often regard it as the most productive time of their lives. With smart colleagues, challenging work, frequent lateral moves between departments giving constant opportunities for learning. Fierce competitiveness in everything staff do and pace of innovation is thrillling. Staff know how hard it is and have chosen to be there.
Attracts people who like to pioneer and invent, with the infrastructure and pace of a startup.
Jeff Bezos does not want social cohesion caused by desire to reach a consensus. Need to debate backed by numbers and passion. (I would rather backed by numbers, passion and desire to do the right choice)
The leadership principles are important to them, they are on their website:
1, Our Leadership Principles
Our Leadership Principles aren’t just an inspirational wall hanging. These Principles work hard, just like we do. Amazonians use them every day, whether they’re discussing ideas for new projects, deciding on the best solution for a customer’s problem, or interviewing candidates. It’s just one of the things that make Amazon peculiar.
2, Customer Obsession
Leaders start with the customer and work backwards. They work vigorously to earn and keep customer trust. Although leaders pay attention to competitors, they obsess over customers.
3, Ownership
Leaders are owners. They think long term and don’t sacrifice long-term value for short-term results. They act on behalf of the entire company, beyond just their own team. They never say “that’s not my job.”
4, Invent and Simplify
Leaders expect and require innovation and invention from their teams and always find ways to simplify. They are externally aware, look for new ideas from everywhere, and are not limited by “not invented here”. Because we do new things, we accept that we may be misunderstood for long periods of time.
5, Are Right, A Lot
Leaders are right a lot. They have strong business judgment and good instincts.
6, Hire and Develop The Best
Leaders raise the performance bar with every hire and promotion. They recognise exceptional talent and willingly move them throughout the organisation. Leaders develop leaders and are serious about their role in coaching others.
7, Insist on the Highest Standards
Leaders have relentlessly high standards – many people may think these standards are unreasonably high. Leaders are continually raising the bar and driving their teams to deliver high quality products, services and processes. Leaders ensure that defects do not get sent down the line and that problems are fixed so they stay fixed.
8, Think Big
Thinking small is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Leaders create and communicate a bold direction that inspires results. They think differently and look around corners for ways to serve customers.
9, Bias for Action
Speed matters in business. Many decisions and actions are reversible and do not need extensive study. We value calculated risk taking.
10, Frugality
We try not to spend money on things that don’t matter to customers. Frugality breeds resourcefulness, self-sufficiency, and invention. There are no extra points for headcount, budget size, or fixed expense.
11, Vocally Self Critical
Leaders do not believe their or their team’s body odour smells of perfume. Leaders come forward with problems or information, even when doing so is awkward or embarrassing. Leaders benchmark themselves and their teams against the best.
12, Earn Trust of Others
Leaders are sincerely open-minded, genuinely listen, and are willing to examine their strongest convictions with humility.
13, Dive Deep
Leaders operate at all levels, stay connected to the details, and audit frequently. No task is beneath them.
14, Have Backbone; Disagree and Commit
Leaders are obligated to respectfully challenge decisions when they disagree, even when doing so is uncomfortable or exhausting. Leaders have conviction and are tenacious. They do not compromise for the sake of social cohesion. Once a decision is determined, they commit wholly.
15, Deliver Results
Leaders focus on the key inputs for their business and deliver them with the right quality and in a timely fashion. Despite setbacks, they rise to the occasion and never compromise.
Benefits and Stock
There are many things to consider when deciding on your next employer. At Amazon, we offer employees the chance to work with great people on…
People who can cope with confrontation love it, those who cannot leave and go elsewhere.
It is a mix of being a corporation and startup.
Company sends threatening letter if employee takes a similar job at a competitor.
Constantly loads of staff leaving, but is an accomplished recruiter of new talent, helped by appeal of a steadily increasing stock price.
Amazon gives industry average base salary, a signing bonus spread over 2 years and a grant of restricted stock units over 4 years. Unlike other technology companies such as Google and Microsoft which spread the stock grants evenly, Amazon backloads the grants towards the end of the four year period o try and make staff stay, keep working hard and not coast.
End of year one they get 5% of their shares, 15% end of second year; 20% every 6 months over final 2 years.
Managers in apartments for 50 people or more are required to grade there subordinates akong a curve and must dismiss the least effective performers.
There are no perks, eg. staff have to pay for meals at the cost price. Company constantly searching for ways to reduce costs and pass the savings onto customers.
Jeff Bezos personally chairs operating reviews done every 6 months, each teams write down plan for next 12 months. Documents from each team are 6 pages, with a few rules called tenets at the top of each, which show principles for each group, that guide hard decisions and enable them to move fast without constant supervision.
The startup areas get more attention from Jeff Bezos, they are harder and more stressful for staff to work in.
At weekly meetings each department meets with their managers, the numbers from long spreadsheets show them what is working, what is broken, how customers are behaving and how well company is performing.
The executive team force employees to look at the numbers and answer every single question about why specific things happened. For employees this is scary and impressive. As Amazon has so much volume, this means can make quick decisions, not have subjective debates and the data does not lie.
These meetings culminate with weekly business review. 60 managers of the retail business gather in one room to:
•review their departments,
•share data about defects
•inventory turns
•forecasts
•complex interactions among different parts of the company.
Jeff Bezos is not at these meetings.
Jeff Bezos gets very involved and thinks about whatever area he believes there is a crisis in, or is not good enough.
Good email newsletters are short, well written, informative and entertaining (not boring). Simple design, stripped down and not complicated. Punchy headlines are important. Writers accountable for getting revenue from their articles.
People held accountable for caring about things.
Their service allowing advertisers to reach customers on all Amazon websites and devices, is highly profitable, helps subsidise free shipping, low prices and funds some of the company’s expensive long term projects.
Amazon is excited to be able to offer customers lower prices.
If a company can lower prices as is more efficient, other companies will try and stop it through legal means, dodgy arguments etc.
If think long term, can achieve things normally would not accomplish. Time horizons matter a lot. Amazon was a multi decade project.
Must be willing to fail and be misunderstood.
Defects invisible to the knowledgeable, may be obvious to newcomers.
Complicated and contradictory goals makes it hard for people to help you. Be clear and simple goals about your goals and articlate them in a way that makes it easy for others, because they are consistent.
Amazon 3
Need to have the skill of efficiently dispersing time across many responsibilities and multiple projects.
Jeff Bezos invests in things where technology can disrupt existing models.
Be strict details, where costs are going, alongside understand the importance of design.
Jeff Bezos has an empty chair in meetings to represent the customer.
Jeff Bezos aim to take the inconvenience out of online shopping and deliver products and services to customers in the most efficient manner possible.
When loads of customers in an area, more efficient to use your own delivery trucks than outsource to courier companies.
Look at ways to eliminate cost from the supply chain.
Jeff Bezos tries to:
• Move faster
•Work his employees harder
•Make bolder bets
•Persue big inventions and small ones
Jeff Bezos ‘ We don’t have a single big advantage, so have to weave a rope of many small advantages’
Jeff Bezos is relentless.
To accomplish things that are big and unconventional. Intensity and drive of focus is essential and incompatible with all the nice management thought about consensus and gentle demeanour. Then can be quick and not need to slow down too much or modify ideas to make others feel comfortable.
Need clarity, vision, potential and values.
Need the ability to prioritise things.
Need to ensure top team get CEO’S way of working, so can act accordingly.
A big company has to leap forward, not just protect existing ground.
Need people who are bright, high growth potential, fluid minded people with the right values as people. People who prioritise customer trust and delight, at all times are long term focused and driven to be bold and innovative.
Jeff Bezos never really thought about personal wealth. Not thinking about ‘exits’ which affects the smallest choice. Just do something good, not just what gets them acquired, or funded.
Clear goals and values made even the small choices easy for staff to make. Also affected recruitment at all levels, so people who focused on their titles, traditional status metrics, security, or their own wealth, stood out and we’re not hired.
Some might say Jeff Bezos only accepting of high standards makes him hard to work with, but it means he attracts terrific people who want that and they stay for ages. People who want to pour their heart and soul into a mission.
Believe in what building and their very best was needed to have a hope of accomplishing the enormous potential ahead of them.
Jeff Bezos always purely focused on best outcomes for Amazon and customers, never a self interest or political dimension.
Need boldness, getting things done immediately, strict prioritisation and risk to achieve things.
Also need to run free with your own insights and directions, without compromising them to accommodate others.
A new idea always disrupts or disturbs somebody.
People can complain, but complaining is not a strategy.
One of Amazon’s call centres has 500 workers in off peak months and a thousand or more when call volumes spike before and after the holidays. They get $11 per plus small grants of stock that vest over a four year period. Is intense and exhausting work.
Only 3% of customers inclined to call it, those with a serious problem or just want a friendly voice at end of a phone.
Staff controlled by cold, data, which are internally called ‘metrics’.
Most weight put on customer satisfaction, based on emails sent to each customer after a call. It says ‘Did I solve your problem?’ and it has a Yes or No choice. Staff have targets for ratios of yes and nos, they are also ranked based on them.
They also look at calls per hour and average length of each call.
If staff member in lowest 15% of the rankings, they are placed on a ‘PIP’, Performance Improvement Plan and can be fired if not improve their numbers.
Is stressful as Amazon’s standards are so so high.
Amazon knows has hundreds of willing applicants so prefers to fire troubled employees.
Alleged infractions like hanging up on a customer, are all investigated.
They want staff to say if they disagree with something, but commit to doing it once company says must do it.
Such as help button on device showing live video of customer service person chatting with. They re invent normal, creating inventions that customers love and resetting expectations for what normal should be.
For pr say fun stories of things that have happened in the business.
Focus on innovation and customer orientation, refine and distill these values in persuit of:
•was the customer happy
•will they return again
•did I solve your problem, yes or no
Amazon shopping needs to be ease and simplicity
It is a low margin, low price approach.
Small teams are more effective than large ones, at handling complex software projects. So Amazon has lots of small teams.
Need a core ideology, those who embrace it flourish, those who reject it are expunged from the company like a virus.
Companies must confront brutal facts of their businesses, find out what uniquely good at and master their flywheel so each part of the business reinforces and accelerates the other parts.
Some companies reluctant to embrace disruptive technologies because might alienate customers and undermine core business, but ignoring potential disruption is even costlier.
When Amazon negotiated so hard on books that made it hard for customers to get hold of books from many publishers. Amazon said was negotiating on behalf of many customers, even though onlookers and authors criticised this.
In mandatory meetings with managers, Amazon puts intense pressure on staff not join a union, saying direct connection is most effective way to understand and respond to the wants and needs.lf their staff.
Suppliers and staff may not like Amazon as they find it to be a bully, are free to leave. However with other companies either retreating, disappearing, or having to copy Amazon to compete, increasingly there may not be different opportunities elsewhere.
Jeff Bezos says more from reading novels than non fiction.
Walmart is about selling things at a discount, this needs values of frugality, a bias for action and a willingness to try things out and make mistakes.
A busineds needs values of modesty and frugality in the organisation.
Small groups of engineers are more effective than large ones, at handling complex software projects.
Successful companies have a core ideology that guides them, only staff who embrace the central mission flourish, others are expunged like a virus from the company.
Company must confront brutal facts of it’s business, find out what uniquely good at, master their flywheel, in which each part of the business reinforces and accelerates the other parts.
Some companies are reluctant to embrace disruptive new technology, because it might alienate customers and undermined their core business. However ignoring potential disruption is even costlier as competitors with it, out compete and so destroy the business.
Identify the biggest constraints in company’s operations, then structure organisation to get the most out of those constraints.
Banish waste and create wealth by focusing on activities that create value for the customer and systematically eradicate everything else.
Use data metrics to measure everything from customer satisfaction to effetiveness of marketing. All assertions must be supported with data, if data has a weakness staff member must point it out or their colleagues will do it for them.
ready8 Business Leave a comment May 18, 2015 45 MinutesDecisionsFear, anger and stress about themselves or their possessions makes people make bad decisions.
A person feeling out of control, being faced with a threat, or the unknown for themselves can make a person do this.
These things are fine when for others, but when for oneself and so selfish, it can make decision making hard and cloudy.
Love for others is the best cure.
Need to be calm so God and the higher levels can guide a person.
If in a state where a person is concerned for themselves, their pre occupation with themselves will stop them from hearing and listening to these higher levels. . If is an emotional thing need to wait until the emotion passes so are calm again and can hear the higher levels.
Asking God and the higher levels can lead to good answers. Need to then wait for a time for them to come through.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment March 13, 2015 1 MinuteSimon Dolan, How to make millions without a degreeThings I learned from his book.
To be an entrepreneur, create a business by doing it yourself, your initiative, create what customers will want then go out there with it.
Get On With It GOWI
An entrepreneur needs GOWI, which stands for Get On With It.
Try loads of different things, with loads of different people, in loads of different ways, learning for each person at each time. This means they learn loads and loads and builds up a big network of people.
Once can do that job, or learned all need from it, time to move on so learn how to do more things and what are good at. Then use those skills to start your business.
They also learn some very marketable skills for their business, some of these may even make up what the business offers as a product or service. The entrepreneur will also discover what their natural abilities are and what comes easy to them.
An entrepreneur must not waste any time and GOWI.
Duplication
Duplication is how go from a thousands to a billions pounds business, it grows little by little year by year. They open another, then another and so on. It is not a glamorous or exciting thing to do, which is why most millionaires only talk about the starting bit and when got there, not this bit in between. It takes many years and loads of patience, then have thousands of branches all over the world.
Each Mcdonalds branch only makes a quarterly net income of just $30k, but with 31 000 restaurants it makes a quarterly net income of $979.50 million.
Each Starbucks store only makes a net income of about $25k per year, but with 16 709 if them they make $390.8 million.
Each time the business is duplicated, the business is doubled.
First hire someone for the cheapest to fill position, such as licking stamps, stuffing envelopes, etc. Your income will go down at first while you train this person and so in total the business is not doing more work, but then income will go up once you are both working. If hire well, this person could even have the potential to become a regional manager etc.
Need to be able to duplicate yourself and duplicate the business.
Then have to keep a duplicate yourself, with somebody else doing the same job as you. It is difficult as needs trusting someone else. It takes courage, stepping away from the business realising it is something in its own right and a big leap of faith.
If the first person you had to do this does not work out, hire someone else and try again.
Need people who are naturally motivated and can work things out for themselves. Each person does do things a little bit differently and need to give them some flexibility.
The person must be passionate about the business with the great products/services you provide. As otherwise will not care about the job, will be demotivated and so cannot succeed.
Opening a new branch things are slow at first, slowly winning new customers, it takes time to gradually build up. Do not expect too much too soon and learn from each one.
Eg he was:
Year 1: 80 clients
Year 2: 150
Year 3: 300
Year 14: 10 000 clients
McDonald’s took about 40 years to be global success and Starbucks 20 years.
Most people massively overestimate what can achieve in a year and massively underestimate what they can achieve in 10 years.
Write manual outlining service should offer and guidelines for managers. Incentives them so treat business like their own, if work hard can read big rewards, make each branch as independent as possible and step back.
Employment and formal education
Do not expect others to give it to you, that is just getting a job in an organisation and depending on them, only doing things for them if and once they will pay you.
Authority says will be successful if do what told and they will give it to you, but maybe their way is not right so will not work and also they will not give it to you. They do not know all of reality and their views on life change all the time.
Thinking for yourself, not just doing what told means you find out your real ability, do the maximum of your potential, engage in life, senses sharp, mind is alert and imagination is free. Can be really yourself and not a clone of the person who is in charge.
Depending on someone to give you academic grades, creates dependency in a person, for safe comfortable positions in organisations. Business is actual creation of products or services that causes money to change hands in the grubby world of commerce. Without that experience it will remain a dark mystery. A person needs to be on the ground, in the real world, learning how business works, mucking in, doing what seems natural.
University can give false sense to a person that they know a lot of stuff, when in reality do not. May know about a lot of stuff, but not have actual skills based on experience, in terms of real ‘how to’ knowledge, know nothing.
Need to be at the bottom of the job ladder for a few years to learn what the real world is about, university can make people go into the job market at a higher level and so they are robbed of that.
The formal education system and being employed in a large organisation can be so ‘hand holding’, to succeed a person needs a taste of the real world.
Selling
Anyone with sales skills will not be out of a job for long and it is essential for business as well.
The first rule of sales is that the potential customer must like the sales person and the sales person needs to do what is needed for that happen. For example asking the potential customer what they do for a living and letting them talk about themselves, which they will love the sales person for doing and giving them attention.
Sales person: “What do you do for a living sir?”
Then after potential customer has answered say: “Is that right? You know I’ve always wanted to do that.”
It makes the potential customers feel great and you will get along really well.
Need sweet talk and huge enthusiasm.
If people do not want to buy now, offer them a very extra special package remaining for one very extra special people. Then need a deposit, even something small, this stop them from pulling out later.
To close the deal, is fine if have to hand over to a senior person who is best at that.
Dodgy sales people try to spend as long as possible with the customer, keep them there, in an enclosed space and get some deposit from them before they leave. This is because once they leave and get into to the real world, they will no longer want the product.
General
Only do things you see the point of, not just trust it because someone tells you.
So staff take responsibilty, things must have consequences. If staff member late, tell them that if not going to show up on time are of no use to the business, no exam retakes or cosy chats. This is the real world, if they want the job and are good, then this will get their attention and they will never be late again.
Need to have focus to succeed.
An entrepreneur needs between a few months and a few years to work out what the should be doing. During this time doing lots of different jobs, business ideas and research to see what they are good at etc. Others will see this as messing around and failing, but the entrepreneur knows it is not.
To see if a person is honest, look at the first promise they make, do they promptly deliver on it without being asked and are they happy to deliver on it, specially if it is not in their favour. This may be a tiny tiny promise, which is why it can come so early on. People who offer dreams and make you wait for it, usually are con men.
Need to work hard starting a business signing up loads of clients, easy to work hard when is a labour of love.
The best ideas for a new business can come when at the end of the road, no money left, these ideas can work and be brilliant.
‘Borrow’ ideas from entrepreneurs who have succeeded before you.
A new thing may kill off the old business, but if can learn this new thing, you will be one of a lesser amount of people who can do and knows all about this new thing, as it is so new. Maybe new business from this will be bigger than the old one.
Amazing presentation can make even a mediocre product hot, display it on amazing things, wrap brilliantly so looks amazingly new and great etc.
Most entrepreneurs experience a few bumps in the road whilst amassing their fortune. Times when it looks like a venture is at it’s end, but a solution is eventually found.
Need know-how, guts, vision and luck.
Great to get into a business which is new and currently niche, but will soon become mainstream, because then will be in the right place to make a lot of money. Like Simon Caudwell who started in mobile phones when they were large and expensive. Then they became, smaller, cheaper and mainstream and he made £1.46 billion.
When people are working correctly they are so absorbed in what doing, they loose consciousness of themselves and world around them. It is like being in a trance and they do not notice the time pass and doing a job like that is easy.
Successful entrepreneurs often come from tough backgrounds, because from this they have learned that they have to do it themselves and no one is going to help them.
People prefer to hear stories of failure than stories of success, because these stories justify their own timidity. They feed on gossip about how vicious, crooked and vain rich people are because it allows them to feel superior. For this reason even close friends and family may secretly want you to fail. They want their belief in playing it safe to be reinforced.
Self belief is essential to set up a business and get rich. Have to believe that:
● Your goal is worthwhile
● You can achieve it
● you deserve to get rich
Need constructive thinking, like hope, responsibility, courage, affection, trust, curiosity, imagination, truth-telling. These lead to a long term elation and connect to other good things so does not stop. So takes you to better places characterised by knowledge, empathy, connection, understanding, empowerment, passion, energy, clarity and so on
The opposites are blame, self justification, resentment, envy, bitching, moaning etc. They scratch some kind of an itch but end in a puddle of bile. These are habits that can be changed.
Good thinking creates a good tomorrow, focus on what grows.
A person ends up where they want to be. The problem is people do not have a detailed destination in mind for their whole life, just a few dim shapes of maybe a holiday, relationship, or something and nothing very bold.
A person will end up where they aim to be, even if they are only aiming by going along with someone else’s thoughts. So an entrepreneur decides they themselves will choose where they want to end up.
People will often pour scorn over a person’s attempts at self improvement. People not like it if someone thinks they are better than everyone else, or worse wants to be better than everyone else.
Deadbeats and downers need deadbeats and downers around them as successful people are a threat to their authority.
People pressure others into failing like them, like school kids may pressure another svhool kid to start smoking.
Self belief is more important than capital, get, keep and guard it fiercely.
Selling
However educated, important and whatever line of business it is, the entrepreneur has to be able to sell. Without selling, there is no business. A magazine will only succeed if can sell advertising in it, etc.
Need selling at all levels of a business, for example:
●to get the best staff to join your business, work hard once in the business, etc. ●Negotiating with suppliers, have to sell the business to them, to get the best rates.
●selling franchises
●Etc.
These all take sales to get people to do these things.
Entrepreneur gets the ball rolling, then hires others to sell. Entrepreneur knows if they are doing it well or not, if they are not doing it well, immediately sorts it out.
Sales people are resilient. They are not discouraged by not selling anything and just getting no answers, people saying no and timewasters. As:
●Have had some nice chats with people
●Still more people can sell to
●With a new business, easier to get customers once already have them.
●Always get more ‘no’ than ‘yes’
Even if not good at selling, can be taught and acquire those skills. Practice and have fun with it. What matters is getting better at it than was before.
Money always goes to good sales people.
Choosing a business
The biggest is for it to be based on who you are, secondly on your situation.
1, Be Narrow
Look for a niche, the narrow gate. Not the big door everyone has noticed and is going for.
The markets where have to be big to compete, like cars, computer operating systems or supermarket pasta sauces
need too much money to advertise to the whole population
the markets are so big there are so many people competing for the space.
is a huge thing to do the marketing, distribution, process manufacturing and economies of scale. Takes a lifetime, or a team of experts to learn.
Normally people go for these big mass markets as want to be famous. As it is so hard, it can be an excuse for doing nothing.
NIche is not just doing VAT returns, but doing just for IT contractors.
Define a community, know where they hang out, what they talk about and worries them.
So know how to get in front of them with your message.
Doing stands in office where sell books to office staff, display books and one week later take the orders sell books to office staff. The Book People has turnover of £97 million doing this, as they buy the books outright and not sale or return, get great discounts from the publishers.
To get rich the business needs to be infinitely expandable such as going national etc.
2, Low startup costs
Do business where need low capital to start, such as service where you can do the work yourself and brings in money from day 1. Products businesses often cost more as have to pay for stock being there until bought.
Even in high tech age people providing service level well, for agreed price, on time with a smile draws gasps of delight and relief.
So something that can start small, but grow to be big.
3, Be unoriginal
New ideas:
need development, in concrete detail from concept to delivery
extensive testing
somebody else probably already doing it
need to re-educate buyers to get them to buy it, huge time and effort getting them to think like you do
Best to copy ideas already out there which are proven to work. Do them better, more cheaply or with a twist.
People though often want the glory of having come out with the next big thing. Do you want to be remembered, or rich?
3, Be early
Go into new growing industries for meteoric growth, like how computer chips, railroads, ecommerce once were.
Also as will be loads of people wanting to understand the new market, they will want you who then understands it.
When IT was booming he did tax returns for IT people.
4, Believe in your business.
Need to be something you believe in, so your emotions jump on board. Not something you think will be done for fraud etc.
A service needs a backstory, people don’t buy stuff, primarily they buy feelings. Needs to be the people recognise the business’s genius.
It can mean whatever you would like it to mean. For example
●his accountancy firm does the books, so IT people can get on with being brilliant, amazing, courageous and wonderful at what they do. Building, creating and running the computer systems that run Western civilisation.
●Home care for the elderly is about connection, relief from being isolated and giving them dignity. Is not just about making beds and clipping toenails.
It has to feel true.
Has to have meaning.
Have to believe in it.
Needs to be a solution to a problem.
If you are excited, energised and convinced by the meaning of your business, staff and customers will be too.
Starting a business
A startup business need to get and please customers.
Get and keep customers.
Focus on the customer experience better than anyone else.
Is not about pretty office, computers, staff, business cards etc. that people want to show off and enjoy. These are costs that do not make money. So can start a business from home.
Business is a harsh and unforgiving light that shows up people’s negative character traits. Customers just go elsewhere, they loose money, fail etc.
People may want a business partner to be social, but not mean they are the best for making money with. One normally does more than another, so resentment soon forms. Better to own it all and employ the person, or give things to friends, but not give ownership shares in the business.
To get referrals
Do what say going to do
For the quoted price
when say going to do it
remember enough personal stuff about customers to have a chat with them
Hire people to do specific jobs, so can tell if doing it properly. For example this person does administration.
Do not hire friends, is hard to tell them what to do, deal with it when they disagree. Friends are about mutual empathy, company and social, being there when you are in crucial need is only 5% of friendship.
Divide yourself up
As business grows, hone what you do down constantly to the most profitable stuff and delegate rest to others. Eg. Not worth taking someone on that costs more than the extra clients will bring in.
Eg. Could be that you go out selling and they do the customer services and administration.
Then need to get to point where business is fine if you not there working. Stop working in the business and start working on it. This is the next stage according to Michael Gerber:
●How can get business to work without me?
●How get people to work without constant interference from me?
The organisation needs to be separate from you, lives and breathes on it’s own and relentlessly pursues single goal – to find and keep customers.
To do this make so business can be replicated 5000 times by individuals who follow the system. Operations manual for each function in the company, sales, marketing, warehouse operative etc.
Need to be clearly defined roles in the business, easy to understand standards by which success and failure can be judged and hire good people to fill them. Fire them right away if they don’t match the standards.
Most small businesses fail as owner not get past the point where if they do not do everything, nothing gets done, or nothing gets done correctly.
If not do this then
will get exhausted
becomes an ordeal
business cannot go further
get frustrated and angry at customers
Learn from clients and incorporate these things into your business.
He did a franchise system where regional directors (Scotland, Newcastle, Birmingham and London) ran their operations and kept percentage of the profits.
Hiring and firing
Do not hire friends
Friends feel own a piece of business as friendship is about sharing and is not about accountability.
Friends then employ their friends to be nice to their friends, who may not be best for the job. Then they also will not take responsibility for what their friend has done wrong.
Friends are about mutual empathy, not so much accountability. So not mean they are best for the job.
Cannot tell a friend off and so on when they have done wrong.
Is a business, not a social club. Favour and hire who is best at the job.
Get people who are miserable, angry and bitter in the job, they bring the office down. Must never feel uncomfortable to chat with a person.
The owners must never be too timid to sack people who are not good and must fight back within the law. Bad people will bring down the morale in the business, do untold damage and erode your self belief. These bad people will bring the business down.
The regional directors are franchisees so have a lot of autonomy, they own their own franchises. He provides marketing and customer service support and they hand over a chunk of their profits. He does sack if not doing well enough though.
Must not burden people yourself with too many failsafe controls, just take the gamble on them being good.
The business owner will get ripped off from time to time and often quite seriously. Regional directors will steal money, clients etc. and the business owner will have to go and sort it out.
Many new companies go bankrupt as not collect the money owed, customers fob them off with well rehursed false promises of payment and the supplier not follow up on each promise. Need to call every 2 weeks to chase payment, might be a downer and uncomfortable to do, but even temporary cash shortage can kill a business. Make sure payment period terms agreed up front, do not let customers go past it.
Ask for payment in advance first, many will happily accept, if customer not want say is company policy. Can negotiate from there, such as half payment mid way through.
Credit for covering costs while waiting for payment is a big cost, can make a customer unprofitable.
Try snd get a person who can be stern on the phone, so people pay as not want to face their calls.
Marketing and advertising on search engines
When people are buying or working with something where they have not been involved with that field or specialism before. They spend lots of time in a week or weeks before, researching the about it. So his company writes loads and loads of articles, so when users are in the research stage they come across your site as it comes up on the search engines.
A bit like if someone is diagnosed with an illness, they research it on the internet, so know all about it before even meeting a doctor.
98% of people are at the stage of researching a product or service before at the 2% stage, of being close to being ready to buy. Talk to that 98%.
They have over 3,000 articles on their site, they have little knowledge of seo, just how to write lots of articles relevant to people who are researching.
It really has to answer the questions of how things work to answer their special detailed questions, for example the full details of how to get build a conservatory, get planning permission, etc.
Saying how great the company is and who they are, is not for this part of the website. Focus on helping answer the buyers’s question.
For IT contractors they have stuff for people thinking about becoming an IT contractor:
●VAT
●double entry book keeping
●contracting compared to permanent employment
●everything have learned about the whole IT contracting businesss and how to do it
This comes from their expertise, what gleaned from customers and would-be customers.
A million people a year use their articles to make tricky life decisions, like whether to go independent or not.
Then when they want services, the company is the obvious starting point.
Make sure write good articles.
Great, interesting, easy to understand and relevant copy. Label pages and url keywords correctly and make sure matches the content. Must be honestly related to the user’s search, not just pretending to be.
Make sure first two lines of the articles, says what article is, as that is what will be in the search engine page listing. Eg. ‘Top tips for building a conservatory without planning in Cherryside’.
The articles must serve the customer by answering their questions; they are not for saying about the company.
Eg. Top tips for building a conservatory without planning permission in Cheershire.
At the end does mention your company and how it maybe relevant to the user. It is there to attract, inform and sell.
Need to think like the customers, really understand their stresses and pains and write interesting, helpful, effective and friendly articles to help them.
Helps create spark of gratitude and empowerment for the in the visitor. They have worthwhile 2.5 minutes when read each one.
Quality, relevant text.
For them their articles come up while people are thinking about whether to become a contractor or not. If you are talking to them, they will not be able to get away from you with their search engine searches.
Need to love and understand your customers, genuinely try and help them. If you do this the search engines will love you forever, as a web page lasts forever.
Think about new questions customers will be asking. They even called a nuclear power station, got information and facts from them and wrote an article about being an engineering or IT contractor in the nuclear power industry. They then got a top Google result for the search term ‘becoming a nuclear contractor’
Article must echo the page title and url words, or Google thinks something dodgy could be going on.
Best to write great copy to naturally get links, can pay peoole to get links but they will jot last. Google also sniffs out fake links.
Make a list of questions of what they will want to read, useful answers to their questions. Do first very basic, then intermediate and then advanced questions.
Some questions users will only realise are good once seen them. The questions do not have to be about you or your expertise, if you get your hands on useful and honest answers, use them.
Eg for a home care company, can be all things relevant to old people, eg. medical advice, care, equipment, how to convert your home etc.
Each article 200-400 pages, each with own web page.
The headings of each article must really sell the article and show clear value to the information hungry visitor, so they really want to read it. Eg top tips for, essential guide to, secrets of, how to, six ways to etc.
Write plain, naked and exposed writing to connect with people. Do not pretend to be something you are not.
Write like you talk to a friend, just answer the question, write for your customers and no one else. Organise your answer into a short list of points, use short sentences, get them checked by another person, be helpful and write like your audience would speak.
It is a lot of work to explain complicated things in a simple manner.
Use the keywords in the articles, that get you customers on Google Adwords.
Talk about what customers want to talk about, not what you want to talk about!
People spend loads on advertising only when they do not know who their customers are.
Adverts only speak to those tiny 2% ready to buy, they miss the 98% who are at the research stage.
You must write the articles as you know your customers. The best things in life and business are free, but require effort.
Find out what customers are asking and give them answers in simple effective prose.
Entrepreneurial masterclass
Academic people do not take simple and unsophisticated things seriously, but they are the answers.
If you are sitting in the office a all the time as think will not work without you, then have not divided yourself up, or just are trying to find things to do, but this is not making you money.
Go out of the office, have time away and find new money making ideas, like the one that caused your business. Talk to interesting people, read, find experts.
Need to keep an eye on your business, but if it takes all your time, then need to work on your business, not in it.
Make sure research is not just to find reasons why it is bad idea, once can tell is good, go for it.
If have to choose, choose efforts to increase sales, over decreasing overheads. Sales have no upward limit if chosen correct business, costs cannot go below zero. However people find it easier to cut cost than sell.
Luck happens when you have a good business to make the most of any good luck. Customers recommend and get you more customers. Bigger, gets you even bigger.
Failing is the best way to learn, landing on your ass is the best way to learn and eventually leads to confidence, clarity and commitment.
However must fail correctly so not use up the different forms of capital
Social: Have been honest with people, so they did it with eyes open will work with you on other ventures.
Intellectual: can you use the failed business idea in other forms?
Spiritual: pick yourself up and do again. No blame, resentment and self justification.
So you have enough capital left forv the next venture.
Enthusiasm, good idea and solid relationships are more important than money to start up a business.
Bad gambler: wrecks that tumble out of casinos. Know the game but risks are not calculated. Big bets based on a couple of emotions, usually hope and mis placed sense of entitlement, basically that God owes them this time. They are driven by delusion and desperation.
Good gambler: people not notice are quietly successful, making a pretty good living. Know the game, know what can afford to loose and make calculated risks on big rewards. if loose just start at different table next week.
A successful entrepreneur works hard and builds something carefully, piece by piece that is theirs.
Getting a degree can stunt a person’s imagination, prospects for personal growth and autonomy.
Love, health, intelligence, art etc. are more important than money. Money does not buy happines.
Money does buy space, time, beautiful settings, pleasant experiences and the best legal and medical assistance available.
How to be a good parents of a would be entrepreneurs
Parents set the patterns for their children’s behaviour, they repeat it later.
People may not allow themselves to be rich, because of what other negative people say about those who have money. This can create deep feelings and attitudes in a person and can cause a them to loose wealth if they come into it.
So need to promote the message that wealthy people are good for society and not be ambivalent to money.
Staff who are pampered babies are no good. A business needs hungry grafters.
Messing around phase of doing lots of jobs only works if it is self directed. The person may put energy into misguided messes, but do not tell them because
at least they are learning. They learn more in this 6 months than from 10 years listening to you.
Jumping through hoops to get exam grades is a treadmill that does not lead to a rich, exciting and independent life. A person has to intend to be that, to get it.
An entrepreneur wants to be independent.
Need to grow up so can get the rare skills and handle the pressure.
People who want the feeling of safety will want employment and not to be an entrepreneur.
Lazyness may mean are scarred to fail, tried something once and it did not work, not sure where to start or what to do next.
Most adults who have rare talents and powerful spirits, were awkward, headaches, worries and disappointments to their parents when they were teenagers. They had a tough job as teenagers, working out their place in the world and how they fit in, which was not obvious at all. This drive for independence is important and needs to be encouraged.
If a teenager has a few of these, it is a good sign:
1, a realistic perception of money and not be trained to expect clothes, toys, moneu and treats by whining.
2, To know and take an interest in what is going on around them.
3, persevere if I hit a brick wall and not give up.
4, Try new things and learn from them
5, Mix okay with people
6, Have some constructive interests of some kind, school, music, job, sports, hobby etc.
It s about
●being your own boss
●setting up a business and making lots of money
●being free and independent adult
Saying Que Sera kills achievement.
Studying business is seperate to learning economics.
Even when see for example McDonald’s, see the angle of how it is a business that someone thought up and made lots of money from.
Business owners and managers are always desperate for willing grafters.
ready8 Business Leave a comment March 8, 2015 22 MinutesAttracting women, what to do on a dateWhere to go
The girl loves it if the man has done his homework to find what and where she likes, or will like. It shows he cares about and loves them.
What to do
As long as the lady likes that kind of thing, must feed them, however if just get them drunk it will just get silly and 24 hours later she will forget you. A romantic dinner is a must on the first date to get the lady’s romantic juices flowing.
The lady must see it that love is the man’s first priority.
That you like her
The man must make it really clear that he likes her. As a result would like to see her again.
This must be done that the man really likes her and would like to see her again. This must not done in a pressurised taking way, but that he is giving to the girl. He likes her, he is not taking and pushing her around.
So at the end of the day to make it clear would like to see her again, when you are free and make it as soon as possible, because you really want to see her.
ready8 Attracting women Leave a comment February 28, 2015 1 MinuteMasculine and feminineThese are both forces in the universe, although a person may have a physical sex, and a male or female soul. A person can still focus or meditate on a certain concept to get what they need at certain points.
By meditating on these different concepts, principles, energies, a person can understand , appreciate, connect, generate and work with them.
It means that a woman can choose to do more masculine energy.
A man can choose to do more female energy.
The energies
Male: Force, strength, resilience. It enables a person to endure and be okay with pain, be courageous, strong, forceful and if needed to fight.
Female: Nurturing, soft, comfort. It enables a person to care for others, feel cared for, comfortable and loved. Also to see other people’s point of view
General Situations
In a crisis of physical or psychological hardship, masculinity is great.
However for a soft, nurturing, comfortable life, femininity is good.
So in warfare, times of physical difficulty, when under psychological attack, when heavy and hard things need to be moved, done and built, the masculine principle is needed so can fight, stay firm, strong, persevere and not go all over the place.
In times of sadness, when a person is hurt, when repair, comfort and empathy is needed, things need to be pretty, beautiful and comfortable, then the feminine principle is needed.
Specific Situations
Women often do not like going to parties and large social gatherings by themselves. For the strength to cope with it, they often need a man, there are of course solutions to help women do this without needing a man.
If a man has trouble in going to large groups, parties etc. where they do not know people, it can be that he need to become more masculine. However if the man go so excessively extremely male at the social situation, he will not have some of the more feminine characteristics needed to be socially capable.
Dating
For a man to be attractive sexually to women, they need the masculine concept which will affect their behaviours, expressions, posture etc.
For a woman to be attractive sexually to men, they need to focus and be aware of the feminine concept which will affect their behaviors, expressions, posture etc.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment February 8, 2015 2 MinutesCommunicating with GodGod has little interest in people who are just constantly asking and wanting for things for themselves .
Also people who just read the same old formal prayers repetitively out of a book, to a point that in the end it becomes a tired routine to them and the meaning behind it is lost.
God wants people to ask genuine questions, genuine conversation and ask about genuine issues.
It can be about the person themselves, or it can be about the whole universe and world. It just needs to be relevant, as if it is not relevant to reality, it will have no effect on reality, so it does not deserve an answer and the person does not get one.
The question can of course be about the present or the future.
We are made in the image of god so it is like how we are with other people.
God does not want people to just talk about themselves, it is more interesting when a person asks how the other person is and is interested in them.
So if a person genuinely asks God what God would like us to be doing for God, then God will reply.
The person may not get an answer instantly into their mind, the idea, words and images may come into their mind possibly days, or a week later and they will have come from God.
It can happen with an omen, such as something happening in the physical world which symbolises the answer. This also happened at the time, in the future, or any moment relevant to that situation being asked about.
The answer often comes when the person is relaxed and not being self obsessed over their own issues, so they can be aware of, see and notice what God is doing.
However a person genuinely asks, they will be given a mission, or job, this is a big deal not to be taken lightly!
God is about doing service, what a person should really be doing and a mission. So it can be a big deal full of sacrifice and hardship.
Which is why many people are not interested in asking and truly communicating with God.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment February 5, 2015 1 MinuteRoutines, habits and traditionsAfter done something for so long, get used to it, it becomes normal to the person doing it.
Then they do not realise it is not how it should be and how things actually should be.
Routines and habits means a person has set ways, that make a person boring. They are doing their habits and not seeing the world.
Habits can cover all aspects of a person and their behaviour, for example:
●Being late or early to things
●Confidence
●Courageous or timid
●Confidence
●Lying or truth telling
●etc.
Bad can be changed by:
●By asking yourself questions to show how a habit is not based on realty or constructive
●Being aware or awake so not having to rely on habits
● Being open to change
●Doing a different thing each time until the habit changes.
Good habits can be useful as they free up the higher mind to do more useful things, such as the automatic habits that are used when driving a car so the higher mind does not have to be bothered with this.
However need to watch them so can be improved and changed.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment January 30, 2015 1 MinuteSimple and complicatedThings in life are actually very simple.
Life itself and how it works is actually very simple.
For example the masters of physics theory could put their theories into one sentence.
For example Hook’s law ‘Every equal load on a spring, causes ab equal extension, until it reaches it’s elastic limit’
If a person writes more than a sentence to say how something works, then they do not know what they are talking about. So if a person has to write a whole book on something instead of a sentence, they do not know what they are doing.
It means they cannot tell what the real answer is, so have loads of rubbish in there as well as do not know what is the bit that really matters.
In business, normally it just needs 5 or less simple measurements to see what is going on in a business .
People make can also make things complicated to show that they are clever. They try to make it so others will not understand, for example by using complicated and less common words, when this us not needed.
People also often want to think something is a certain way, or choose a solution because it is clever. However the reality and best solution is normally very simple, unexciting, boring and not entertaining.
It actually takes work and intelligence to make things simple.
They make it complicated so out of their own pride they can think they are clever and to show off they are clever on front of others.
They also do it to create jobs for themselves by making it complicated so others cannot do it, or people feel they have to be paid a lot as only very clever and hard to find highly skilled people can do the job.
So if a person explains something in a complicated way, either they do not understand it, or they do not want others to.
Being overly indulgently intellectual
Having a good intellect is important. Just like a muscle, it needs to be used and challenged so it grows.
However just like a physical challenge, an intellectual challenge can be intoxicating and something to show off. So the more complicated it all is, the more intellectually challenging it is. This can lead to a person wanting to create complicated solutions abd pretend the problem is complicated for fun of it, when a simple solution is closest to reality.
The best answer to a problem might be simple and mundane, but that is not something that shows off how intellectually clever the person is and so is not glamorous.
Also by being very intellectual, without also experiencing and being aware of life, can lead to complicated concepts that bear no relation to reality
Right in front of us
The answer can be right on front of us, staring at us, telling us, and we think that it is too obvious, simple and easy. However that can be the answer.
Life is simple, we just make it complicated.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment January 28, 2015 2 MinutesWhy people do certain things, motivationsExcessive eagerness to please others
This is often caused by wanting affection from others. This is often because the person did not get affection from their mother when they were a child.
This can cause a person to do things for others to get affection from them, even of the things being asked of them are not right. This is because they want the affection from the other person.
Their endless craving to get this can make them work so hard they get exhaustion and so on.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment January 14, 2015 1 MinutePridePride, people with excessive pride see someone else and automatically think they are better than them. See if you can cope with the idea of being as good as them, but not better.
A person needs a certain amount of pride, so a person thinking that are worse than other people is excessive. However thinking that better than other people is excessive pride.
Can think that better at others at something if is true and needed, so you can do your thing instead of going along with the other person’s. However generally thinking are better than others at everything is a fallacy.
Often people who have failed a lot need to compensate with excessive pride. It is also a thing of selfishnes to indulge and savour pride.
Maintaining that excessive illusion leads to insecurity as is not true so will fall down like a pack of cards.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment January 14, 2015 1 MinuteAthiestPeople are often athiest because:
They cannot cope with God being better than them
They prefer to mock people and beings that are better than them
They want to feel that they better than them. That is why they do not want to worship God.
In truth as the universe is one, the better God is, the more they benefit and are. However athiest people see themselves as separate to God.
The wise person praises and honours what is better than them.
They want to be the centre of their own universe
They want to be the person that controls everything, everybody else looks up to and so God is competition to that.
Being in control
God is in control, but the ego wants power and to be in control.
By being aware of God, a person becomes aware that God is in control and not them. The ego does not wants that, as wants to think that it is in control of everything and to be control of everything.
Also to be aware of God, a person has to be worthy, for that a person has to be willing to do what God’s will, which of course is not the will of the ego.
Basically the ego wants power over others.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment January 12, 2015 1 MinuteEgoOften think that are being aware of things that are not their ego, such as God, a specific concept or something else.
However often is still the ego, because looking at my God, my concept, my other person.
It is very hard for a person to look at things outside the ego, because the ego itself is only interested and about I, me, mine.
So need to be aware using higher parts of oneself which can be aware of others as they are.
Things that trap us in ego
Fantasies can trap us in ego, for example that a person is a big important executive when actually are quite a junior one. Once a person realises the level they really are, they can really do things.
Ego is often thinking about how wonderful you are, how wonderful you look, how wonderful people think you look, and so on. You are just looking at positives and even things that are not there or real. Fantasies shout how wonderful you are.
It’s very tempting because there is a lot of self gratification.
When operating from a higher place, people respect you and other things, but it does not matter to you as are not looking at them.
So you do what is right and not what gets you attention. Whether people notice you or not makes no difference to you. You do what is needed by others and right.
Using astrology to see you are in ego
It’s very hard to tell if you’re right in ego or operating from high places (teferet in Kabbalah).
When it is a full moon, or close to a full moon, I have a hard time sleeping. This is because I’m in ego lot and the ego is affected by the moon. By being aware of this and the effect the moon is having on me, I can see how much I’m in ego.
This frees me up to see the higher parts of my psyche, Teferet, the part of my psyche which is my sun sign.
By seeing sun sign part of my psyche, I can see this higher of my psyche and what I should be doing in my life. Also the ego things I’ve been doing to show off and are not what I should actually be doing.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment January 8, 2015 2 MinutesExperiencePeople are here to get experience from which learn from, we are in a school and learning how to get to the next level.
For example that war is bad as people loose their lives and loved ones.
The only real way to learn is experiencing things.
A person can have the information, but the only real way to learn is to experience it. Then a person also learns what direction to go in.
For example a person can read a text book on how to swim, but only once done it, do they know what it is like with the waves splashing against their face, other people jumping into the water etc.
A person starts is innocent in their first incarnation, this does not mean they are good and bad. They get karma for their good and bad actions.
An innocent person tends to go along with what they are told and so are accordingly sometimes good and sometimes bad.
They fall for the lies told by others and fall into the trap of being tempted to behave badly as they do not know better.
They have not yet done enough to have seen the consequences and experienced the results.
Experience leads to a person becoming wise. That is why a person has to do a lot, experience different things and take risks in trying things that are new, going to harder levels etc.
The best way to learn is from the experience of others, but need a high level of consciousness, awareness, observation, empathy etc to do this as then really experiencing, seeing, and feeling what other people do.
Need to take heed of the old and mature souls of the past, present and future, who warn, phrophesise and give guidance to every generation based on laws of karma and Divine principles.
When a person meditates, they actually have to experience what they become aware of. That experience becomes part of them, so they can change. To advance a person who has to experience it, not just read it in text books or think about it.
By being mindful and aware, a person can learn far more from their experiences. They can see that when they did not act morally, things did not go well and so regret it. Without being aware and mindful they would not have seen, experienced and so learned from it so much.
Young souls
As a person gets more experience they see, experience and realise that
•Everything they do has consequences
•They are not the center of the universe. They are infinitely small compared to God and nothing relative to the other 6 billion people in the universe.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment December 27, 2014 2 MinutesCompetitionCo operation always wins over co operation, because of the evils of putting others down, that can come from competition.
However competition is better than doing nothing.
It can be right that the person who is best should be doing it and that is the positive side of competition. The best thing is if people do the best they can for others, but only one person can be the leader or do certain jobs, so naturally the person who is best has to be chosen for the sake of the people receiving the benefit of that service.
However the aim is to do the right thing for others and not just to try and acquire. This is the correct choosing of a person when done ethically.
A person’s selfish motive to compete can be:
ready8 Business Leave a comment December 27, 2014 1 MinuteConfuciousThings I learned from Confucious ‘The Analects’
To be moral, need to have a sense of shame when done something wrong.
The only purpose a person can have, or worthwhile thing can do, is to become as good a person as possible. Persued for it’s own sake, without thought of reward; success or failure. This takes a great deal of hard work and cultivation.
A complete man ‘remembers what is right at the sight of profit’ and ‘is ready to lay down his life in the face of danger’
It is benevolence that makes a man a gentleman. Benevolence also makes a man free from worries and fears.
The best guide to conduct ‘Do not impose on others, what you yourself do not desire’. What would you like or dislike if were the receiving person.
To be moral a person needs to overcome themselves (self interest) and do the right actions. Self interest is the most persistent, insidious and persistent thing that stops a person being moral.
Not possible to work with mean (selfish, not benevolent) people in service of the Lord. They do not get the wealth or position they crave, as they do not deserve it. They worry they will not get it, once have it worry will loose it, once at that stage will not stop at anything to have these things.
If a person is benevolent, benevolence is a thing that a person has. A person builds it up and grows it.
Very hard to maintain benevolence, even the great normally only manage it for short periods.
Practicing benevolence is a heavy burden, but every man has the strength to do it. By a person thinking they cannot do it, they have set their limit before they even try.
As soon as want to be benevolent it is there, it is not far away, the question is if people really want it.
By thinking of something it is there.
Man of wisdom never in two minds, man of benevolence never worries, man of courage is never afraid.
Man of wisdom knows what is morally right and what is not (especially things that appear right when they are not)
Knowledge of men, means being good judge of people’s character, this is is how to predict their future.
A teacher must be honest about what they do not know and not pass anything on that they have not tried out themselves.
Courage means a person can do what is right when they see it and not leave it undone, but courage without morality will mean the person just carries out evil.
A person must live up to their words, best to do the action before making the claim.
Being respectful of others, is the best way to prevent others from disrespecting you.
By a person being respectful with others, others will be respectful to him and not disrespectful to him.
Learning stops a person being foolish.
He mentions the Decree of Heaven: heaven cares profoundly about the welfare of the common people, a person is set up by heaven to fulfil that purpose. As soon as he forgets that function and begins to do things for his own sake, heaven removes his decree and will bestow it on someone more worthy. A person should be in awe of this.
With regards to self interest, profit and rightness are in opposition to each other.
A person’s destiny will determine their lifespan, wealth and honour. No human persuit, effort or speculation can change this so is not a proper object of persuit. What is in the domain of destiny should be left alone.
We should obey heaven’s way, that is somerhing we should follow.
Morality is the only object a person should persue, being moral lies in making a moral effort and not in the success or failure of the person’s actions.
Do the work without thinking of the salary may get for it. Shameful for a person to be making saleries their sole object.
When ‘the way of heaven’ and morality is being followed in government, then should be in it and the person should be wealthy in it. Should speak with high mindedness.
When the way of heaven is not being followed in government, as then can only be there if bends ones principles and will also be a nasty place of humiliation and punishment. In this case, the person must leave and keep out of trouble as a private citizen, so not have to bend their morals. To stay out of trouble people must think you are the most stupid, lacking confidence, self effacing, not attract attention to oneself.
So in times of an ethical government a person will succeed in government because they do good. That is what the government has chosen.
In times of an unethical government it is the bad people who will be wealthy and given high rank.
The common people trust the government if they get enough food and arms.
When the common people do not trust a government, they have nothing to stand on. It is more important that the military defenses and food.
Setting an example
Edicts and punishments will get the people to stay out of trouble, but will have no sense of shame.
Guide them by virtue, keep them in line with the rites, they will have a sense of shame and reform themselves. To do this the ruler sets a moral example for the people, by behaving correctly. Then never have to use the law and threat of punishment.
The people will imitate their leaders even if told not to do something different.
If the leader sets a moral example, the people will do the right thing even though no orders are given.
If people told by leader to be moral, but leader themselves is immoral, the people will do immoral things.
If people told by leader to be immoral, but leader themselves us moral, the people will still do moral things.
If the leader sets a bad example, the people will do the wrong thing, even though orders have been given to the contrary.
If a person punished for something the leader has themselves done, the person will be aware of the injustice.
People may not be be able to perceive the morality in a leader, but they will still be influenced by it, behave in accordance to it and so be moral.
The leader does not even have to do things that the people could not even say what he had done, the moral influence works imperceptibly.
A leader has to promote the straight people to positions of authority over the crooked, will help make the crooked straight.
Other things
Music and poetry need to be beautiful, but it is the goodness in it that makes it amazing and goes beyond expectations.
Pleasure is fine, but it is excessive pleasure that causes the problems.
Detest clever talkers who overturn states and noble families. Also things which look good on the outside, but it is only on the outside, so misleading and not genuine.
A person should seek benevolence. If they get it, they will have no complaints. It is the gaining of the benevolence that makes them benevolent.
Practicing doing things, enables a person to become a better person morally.
Must learn from the wise men of the past and present.
The morally right thing to do changes in different time periods, new rules must be added and others omitted. This makes a person’s actions timely.
A moral principle, for example respect, leads to rules, these lead to actions that exemplify those rules. How good the rules are, is shown by how well the moral principles are performed.
Need thinking to see connections between things which at first seem unconnected. Also to discover new applications for known principles, so when learn one thing, can understand ten.
Need to perfect one’s own moral character by being benevolent to other people and working for the welfare of the common people. The reward is not getting things in return, it is in doing what is good and this constitutes the joy of following the Way.
Confuscious
Studying is hard and arduous and never finished, but:
●needed to overcome being vexed by difficulties
●needed to know why to follow a certain path, otherwise just doing what told without knowing why
Study needs a person to have the capacity, opportunity (time) and be able to put up with the hardship.
Admire people who only have a bowl of rice and ladle of water, but not allow this to affect their joy
Only praise someone once they have been put to the test, for example did a ruler manage to promote the welfare of the common people.
ready8 Philosophy Leave a comment December 7, 2014 6 MinutesBDSM sexHow to ensure is good for the woman, what she wants
Women like it as it is the man being forceful, assertive, in charge
They do not like it if the man is being nasty, spiteful, hateful,
It is basically a man being a real man, taking control.
Women want the man to do the things to them, be the one doing it.
Women like it when the man:
1, loves the woman and wants to give her pleasure
2, Is doing it because the man wants them, has to have them, has to have sex with them.
3, wants them
So the woman will not like it if 1, 2 & 3 are not there. Such as if the man calls them a bitch, slut, says wants to f**k her etc.
About 25% of women like it, others do it just because they know their man likes it.
It can be a dark thing where the women was abused or raped when younger and they are continuing this habit. This is a bad thing and needs therapy.
For men it can be a way of being aggressive, like how sports are used as a channel to stop actual damaging violence in society. So it is fine if consenting and does not get out of hand!
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment November 23, 2014 1 MinuteBeing good at sex (for men)It is important to hold,, hug, kiss and touch her like you love her.
Breasts and bottom are ergogenic zones that are good to pay more attention to. She will also love you kissing down the sides and from sides of her neck.
The clitorus should be the last place to touch and lick because it’s very sensitive and not nice for a lady if they are not relaxed, warmed up and ready for it.
Touch all other parts of her body so the desire grows and only then touch the vagina. Then she can get several clitoris orgasms in a row.
Being masculine
Women when it comes to sex want the man to manhandle them. The man to position them, instigated doing stuff and do the stuff to them. The man is meant to know what the woman wants and do it to her. The man takes charge, dominates the the woman and does the stuff.
Women want the man to be in charge. However of course it is for the woman to consent to this, or it is rape. Also it is for the woman to be soft and nurturing with this as that is how it works.
The woman is attracting him, so they want to be so attractive that the man wants them, wants to do stuff to them and cannot resist her.
Romance
Sex for women is mostly about being loved and cared for by a man, the man wants to please and love them. So it takes ages to get a woman to want sex, but after lots of showing that you love them, care for them cuddling and so on they will be attracted to you and want sex with you.
To a woman 80% of it is about having a man love them, cuddle them and care for them. If they have an evening in bed with a man and all they do is cuddle, that is a successful and lovely time. For a man sadly he just wants to penetrate and put his seed in her, the women will be upset if he says that to her.
The woman wants to feel special which is why they want it to be that the man is monogamous to them and only wanting sex with them. If the man is having sex with other women it means to a lady that she is not special.
If one evening they do not want sex, lots of showing that you love them, then cuddling them, then eventually if they are happy with it gentle caressing and stroking their body to show that you care for them, should turn them on so they want sex.
For women each time they have sex with a man, they feel more and more connected with him. Women want that connection, to feel loved, wanted, intimacy.
They want sex to mean something, deep feelings that the man loves her.
For women it is a special thing, they are letting a man into them, they feel vulnerable and wary to fall in love with the man. The more the man makes love to them, the more they open up and fall in love with him.
Women take time to ‘warm up’
Even if a woman is attracted to a man, they will not want to have sex with him for many weeks, or months until they feel very comfortable with him.
However if they want to have him, they know they will have to have sex with him on the second, or third date to keep him interested. They may do it, in order to get the man for a permanent relationship, even if they do not want to have sex with him so quickly into the relationship.
However once they are warmed up and feel comfortable with a man, they will want sex a lot, possibly even more than the man does.
The more relaxed a woman is with a man, the easier it is for them to have an orgasm and good sex.
Male sex drive
Women want a man who is strong and masculine, with masculine energy. A man needs to be sexual or there is nothing for them ro be attracted to.
Men just want to put that seed into a lady, if sex is 20 seconds it is great for them.
However women like sex to be as long as possible, slow gentle foreplay and so on, for an hour or even more. This will become boring for a man because he just wants to put his seed in her.
The man likes to be forceful and aggressive because that is hard strong masculine energy.
However women are delicate, sensitive and want him to be gentle when having sex with them. They want it to be that as he loves them, he does not want to hurt them.
Women are soft and sensitive, so want to be treated very gently, especially to avoid any pain as they are so sensitive.
Pleasure is receiving gentle caressing and kissing, hard pressing hurts, especially as they are so sensitive in their erogenous zones. Of course it needs to be done in a strong way, from a strong masculine man, or there is no sexual attraction or pleasure.
Remember though to still keep your masculinity and sexuality of being a man, men want to be hard and forceful when they are ‘doing it’ to a lady which is what men sexually are, or it just does work. If men are not true to what are, they cannot work.
Women are soft and nurturing so they want to be treated gently, but if you are not masculine and a man with all your sexual desires and drives, you cannot function as a male. This is because you will have no drive or ability to do sex, because you are not being true to your own sex. So the man will not be masculine, be able to do it and also there will be no masculinity for the lady to be attracted to. A women may want to things from a man, but he must be a man otherwise he will not work. He has to be a man, you have to remember what you want and how you work. As a man you will not have her hobbies and point of view, and if you do, you will probably no longer be a hetra sexual male.
So the woman wants it to be like a wild strong stallion that keeps himself under a degree of control so does not push her around too much, go inside her to quickly, come too quickly and is gentle. This also means that the man can spend time doing foreplay. The women can want foreplay and sex to be for almost an hour before the man comes in side her. The woman wants the man to be doing this because he wants to give her pleasure and loves her.
Inexperienced males will get very excited, so will not be able to hold themselves back self and so will ejaculate too quickly. The male needs to ensure he does not get over excited.
Good sex
Women want a man who has sexual prowess, so must be a consummate lover.
Women want a man who can read the body language of his partner; in nearly every sexual escapade, he knows exactly what his partner needs, even if she doesn’t realise it. This is so the man never needs to stop him to say that what he is doing isn’t working, it is almost always perfect.
So the man never fails to perform, the lady rarely needs to tell him what she wants; he knows.
For a woman, when a man has sex with them, it means that the man finds them special. The woman wants it to be that the man finds her special.
Whole body
Whereas men have less erogenous zones, penis, nipples, anal area, lips etc.
Women have many erogenous zones, in fact they like a man to touch, kiss and caress their entire body and every part of their. This is also because sex us a way for women of being loved and they want it to be that the man loves every part of their body. It is good if the man I can touch more than one place on theur body at once.
Kissing
On a first date with a man, the kiss is really important to a women, it determines if he is the right man for her and so on.
It needs to be a romance novel kiss like he really loves her.
Trust
Girls are only happy with guy touching them once trust them, as sexually the girl is delicate and has to surrender. To trust the man they have to know his personality. Touching is how the electricity happens between a man and a woman.
Of course some ladies trust more quickly than others
After orgasm
If the man gives the woman an orgasm, she will think and feel he is wonderful and fantastic. This feeling of hers will go on for minutes and hours. It is important that the man is still romantic during these times and does not for example talk about football, or his favourite science fiction program as this will kill the romance and so her mood, feelings and thoughts of how wonderful you are.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment November 6, 2014 6 MinutesBeing intelligentMany celebrities pretend to be ‘nice but stupid’ when they are actually highly intelligent. This is because most people are scarred, jealous of highly intelligent people. People also like to feel superior to other people and with intelligent people they feel inferior?
Evil people also want to get on top, squash anyone else who can work out their evil plans and anyone who can out compete them.
So best to be highly intelligent, but sometimes best to cover it up.
However moral people want other people to be aa intelligent as possible, even more intelligent than they are. This is best for the wider world that the moral person realises they are part of.
Also intelligent people find stupid people un interesting. So although the comedian, fool has their place to entertain people, people do not want to be friendly with such people and failures.
ready8 Psychology, Social skills, Spirituality Leave a comment October 29, 2014 1 MinuteImpermanence meditationImpermanence:
Impermanence has two parts to reducing selfishness.
1, realising that having things below God have less value:
A person selfishly wants things, however by becoming aware that possessions and even themselves are not permanent, they realise these things are not so valuable and want them less.
The opposite of wanting to gain thing is fear of loosing things. By a person becoming aware that possessing those items and the themselves are not permanent, they are not so scared of losing them. Also by realising that the pain of loss is not permanent, it comes and goes, they are also not scared of the pain of loss
a person’s life on earth is not permanent. This also means that they having their possessions is not permanent. A good way to become aware of this is, to meditate on all the people you know who have died.
meditate on the moment now, this ever moving razors edge of time is a powerful way of seeing that earthly things are not permanent.
other things to meditate on are best if they are things that are quickly fleeting like breaths and so on.
Possessions
By the ego realising the things it sees as ‘mine’ are impermanent, the ego has less validity.
This is because the ego can be from what it owns.
So by meditating on how things it has as ‘mine’ and ‘my’ are impermanent, the ego’s validity reduces.
‘Mine’ and ‘my’ can be very subtle, even things which a person thinks are selfless, can be done in an ego way. For example, my observation, my meditation, my benevolent thoughts.
So also have to look at how these are all impermanent and recognise when doing it with with ego.
2, Realising that everything is one
Why not realise things are impermanent
This is often because a person does not want to think things are impermanent. They have their friends, society structure, groups and possessions that they know. They do not want to loose them. However eventually they will and this will of course be painful.
People do not like change because to get the new, they have to loose the old.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment September 25, 2014 1 MinuteWanting AttentionA person may act silly and stupid because they want attention.
They may act in a way that results in them being bullied and they do this purely for attention. They may not realise that they are doing this.
Wanting attention is dangerous because it makes a person do things which may be bad for them.
The attention they get can be for doing bad things, in the way children may be naughty to get attention.
In fact as it is easier to do bad things than good things, in the same way it us easier to destroy a car or house than build one. So wanting attention is more likely to make them do bad things for attention if they have short term aims.
Of course in the long term doing destructive things for attention will mean they get less attention because of how things go wrong.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment September 24, 2014 1 MinuteHow to appear capableDo things properly:
Stand straight, do not slouch.
Do proper, full, complete movements and gestures. Do not cut them off through embarrassment, fear, nervousness, lazyness etc.
Speak fully and properly. Do not shorten or cut off your words and sentences. Speak fully, properly and clearly.
Think things through clearly, properly and to their end conclusion
Do things to do them properly, not just for show. For example do not sit up straight for show, do it to do it properly.
Do not do things by halves, do them properly.
However always make sure you are capable with things things for the right thing for God and other people.
Utimately it is thinking of others and doing things for others that will make you capable, because that is the highest motive.
Otherwise focusing on looking capable is just doing things for yourself. You will just be cold, selfish and no one will want to know you. This is because you are just appearing capable for yourself and selfish purposes. You are not giving and thinking of others!
Also people may hate you because they will be jealous and feel relatively small around you.
Also so that people can relate to you, it is also important to adapt so people can relate to you. Of you are more capable than them, then they will not be able to.
Also you may become stayed and boring, focusing on doing things properly is not being fun.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment September 12, 2014 1 MinuteBeing aware of spiritsTo be aware of spirits and messages from spirits:
spirit is lighter than a feather accross an eyelash.
inner voices quieter than a light whisper.
They are the quick flash of a message, anything that comes after is the ego trying to change it. This maybe because it cannot cope with what was said, or wants to control it.
Morals are needed to be aware of spirit
As spirit is so subtle, people who are selfish cannot be aware of spirits. This is because they are so much focused on themselves, their emotions, what they have and so on. This means they cannot be aware of the non ego things such as the higher parts of themselves and other beings.
Selfish people are also so full of less balanced and more erratic emotions, being less refined they are also less able to be aware of spirit which is itself more refined.
The first level to be able to be aware of spirit is to make sure you never do anything to hurt anyone. This is enough of a level for you to be aware of spirit. Most people do not manage to do that and so do hurt others and cause damage.
The next level is to truly care about others and so serve and do things for others. This will take you to higher levels and higher grade spirit guides and partners.
I find that conventional thinking makes me think that all the thoughts in my head are from me. When I am with Warren I can tell more the thoughts, impressions and so on are from other beings.
Impressions and thoughts are normally from spirits, but due to conventional athirst thinking, can think they are just your own thoughts
I find that conventional thinking I was brought up with caused by atheism in society, makes me think that all the thoughts in my head are from me. When many of the thoughts and impressions and so on are from other beings.
Impressions with knowledge from inner teacher spirits and so in my mind that I normally dismiss as delusion, or my own thoughts, I realise are real.
Also, answers I am given from asking questions with images to my inner teachers are actually from them and not just from me.
I am expecting great drama, excitement, effects etc. like in movies and television from the inner voices. So when the responses are very normal, I think that the voices are me and not inner teachers.
However they are just beings and so they are more normal, so I must realise that they are inner teachers.
So I need to be more discerning and get over my conventional atheist scientific thinking, that all thoughts are me and have faith in these other beings existing more. That many thoughts impressions images etc are from other beings and not me.
Hopefully I can discern more their character and nature to realise what thoughts are from others. I am finding it quite hard, as these communications are so everyday like my own thoughts.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment September 3, 2014 2 MinutesComplacencyWhen a person is successful, they focus on their successes and other people will see them as successful.
When a person believes they are wonderful and just focuses on this.
They think about their success and dwell on it, their ego gets bigger and bigger and bigger.
They have been focusing on themselves and their success and often lose the focus on service.
They loose the humility diligence of just being on the ground doing the work.
As they are in the habit of succeeding, they think that whatever they do they will succeed.
Then in their arrogance and complacency they think they can do less and less to succeed and they fail.
Also as a person succeeds they get more wealth and comforts, focusing on this wealth and comforts which makes them more and more lazy. A bit like a person who has worked hard for a comfy sofa and then becomes lazy lying on it.
An inflated ego
When a person has success it is very easy for it to go to the ego, signs that this has happened are:
●When a person started at the beginning of their journey of learning that trade, they were willing to do any job no matter how small, they now feel too important to do some of them.
●They no longer look at doing and working with the details, as they feel and believe that they are too important and what they do is too big.
●They no longer spend the time and effort that they use to in doing things. They have forgotten how hard it really was before to learn and get things right. As a result they will not be as effective and get the good results they used to.
Entitlement
Cannot take for granted people will buy from your business, this makes people work properly at it. Customers need to have a reason to buy from your business. If you are not the best or at least as good, they will not buy from you.
People may arrogantly think they are entitled to things when I’m truth they have not served, watched and listened to what other people want and need, have not changed with the times.
When someone succeeds, they get in the habit of thinking they will always succeed, when that is not the case.
Taking things for granted
Once something has been successful for a long time, success can be taken for granted. The minute you take them for granted, they’re dead. You’ve got to constantly approach it like it’s a new thing that you do not yet know if it will be successful. If a person goes ‘That always works, we’ll keep going with that.’ That would be a sure and certain death because things in life change.
When something is new and unknown a person works harder at it, because not know if will be successful.
Also when start again build a new thing that is better and right for a changed world.
ready8 Business, Psychology Leave a comment August 30, 2014 2 MinutesBeing true to yourselfThe secret to success in the universe is a person being true to themselves. So doing what works and is right for them, doing things in accordance to their nature, mission, destiny, there way of doing things.
Every person has a unique place, purpose and reason for being here. If a person this not do this things go badly until they eventually do what they are meant to be doing.
The universe has very different kinds of people, each has their own nature, destiny and being.
Each person has a role in the universe and if they do their job, what they are meant for, they will succeed, if not they are not made for this and will fail.
A very basic metaphor maybe if an introverted person who is good at detailed accounts, tries to be an extroverted sales person. An extrovert sales person tries to do detailed accounting work. Another is a cat trying to behave like a dog and the dog trying to behave like a cat.
A person’s makeup may not be for something that at that time makes them rich famous and powerful and this may make someone to do something different. For example actors and actresses in the 20th century got these things, but in Roman times were the lowest of the low. The same sole could be an actor, but at that time it was not appreciated.
A person has to be brave enough to be themselves and not just try and fit in. People who will like you will like you, people who do not like you would have not liked you much anyway. If a person is not being themselves, they will come over as fake, not authentic, other people will think there is something wrong, but not know what it is.
There are people who will follow abd want things from and follow someone who is true to themselves. That is because they have something real, genuine and unique to offer.
If a person is just fitting in and following others, there is nothing new and unique to offer.
People who do things to fit in, for example looking at what others do, to get their approval always look pathetic. This is because they are timid to be doing this, look scarred and doing this means they are being controlled by others.
Ultimately if a person does things, some will benefit and some will loose. Some will hate it and some will not. Even if only 1% or 50% of people like it and so you, you only need the people who like what you do and you can ignore the rest. If you are doing what everyone approves of, you are probably doing nothing.
Some successful people accept that 50% will love what they do and 50% hate it, but they get their income from the percent that like it.
Being true to yourself socially
If not able to love yourself, then no one else would be able to love you.
So need to do good so that can love yourself, if not will try and compensate with showing off etc. which of course makes it worse as it is an even less good thing to do.
If a person does not think they are good, then will think that other people will not want them, then the person puts up walls so people not see who they really are, then the person cannot function and is not authentic so no one will will want the person.
So need to be yourself and know there is nothing wrong with who you are.
Being interesting socially
If a person is pretending to be something they are not, then they are not interesting to be with socially.
This is because their fakeness is like a blank sheet which diverts and covers up from the feelings, emotions, thoughts, spirit etc. that make a person human. This stuff means there is real and actual stuff to relate to, interact and be with. Otherwise they have covered up what is going on.
When people appear on a reality tv show, they normally start showing off, pretending they are nicer and greater than they are. The big issue is they are pretending to be something they are not.
It is only after a while when they have relaxed and got on with being real, that they start being more themselves, they let people see who they are, that things get interesting for other people to see and watch.
Only then can people get to know them.
How to progress
To be successful, need to become more you, yourself, what you really are.
That is because, it is what you really are, your talents, abilities, purpose etc.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 29, 2014 3 MinutesLooking goodStrength
A man needs to be physically and psychologically strong to look good. A man is about strength and force, so of they are not strong they cannot be a good specimen of what they are.
Other things
Self love and not self loathing. Self love comes from loving God and so doing good, as a result there is a lot to love.
Stress
Low stress, as stress causes a person to look terrible. For example as the body cannot maintain itself with all the stress, the person’s skin colour and all kinds of things go down. Stress is also damaging for the body which also makes a person look bad.
Stress makes things look terrible, for example:
Love
By loving God and others a person serves God and others. So a person is creating light on others and so shines.
Their skin becomes soft, light and they look great.
If a person does not love others and just thinks about themselves. They are just darkness that sucks in dark and so is the opposite of shining. They become dark, hard and dead.
A face where there is a look of love for others has, a smile where the sides of the mouth are higher up, eyes open, top of the eyelids higher up. The muscles in the face are soft and gentle.
Love of course is attractive, so the person looks attractive.
Energy
If a person has energy it shines out and looks great.
Also on a physical level as a person’s body is full of energy their posture will be standing upwards, muscles soft, skin colour good, facial expressions good etc. When a person has loads of energy.
Big smiles
A big smile says that the person is happy. Happiness is not the same as love for others.
A huge smile can distort the face so the person looks less attractive. So a gentle smile full of love looks best.
A good smile is about the height at the sides of the mouth. Even a tiny move up or down at the sides makes a huge difference.
For a friendly face never lift up the top centre of the lip by itself on purpose, unless want to be aggressive and hateful as that is showing the sharp incisors which means a fight.
Must mean a smile, or whatever you do will have a dull thud of being feke.
Taking time and space that need
A person may appear weak and meagre, if when they are doing things, they do not take the space and time they need.
This can be seen as not taking the territory they need.
Personal space:
To appear confident and established, your body must take up and use the space it needs Vertical space from sitting upright, horizontal space for your hands to reach out and be.
Time to do things:
A person also needs to take the time they need, such as taking the time they need to speak properly, getting the emotional, feeling, thought and spiritual aspect of what they are saying out in it’s best way.
Some people may speak too fast, as they do not take the time needed to get their point out properly and at ease. This can be because they think others during that time will get and take the time from them, such as by interrupting them etc.
It makes them look weak and meagre because they are:
•worried that other people would do this this
•they have not spoken effectively because they have not had the time to do so.
Be relaxed
A person looks good when they are relaxed so:
●Their muscles are soft
●The inner them and their character can come out
●They are not using up their energy so it can come out
A person’s muscles go to tight when they are scarred, so it is caused by fear. This is also because the person is defending themselves and so getting tougher.
Straight posture so high up
This is so can look the highest and best that can be. If are lower means are less good.
A sense of beauty
People look like they are psychologically.
A person who is evil will look nasty and evil.
A person who is good will look benevolent and nice.
Their actual nature effects their posture, voice, voice tone, how they speak, move, look, etc.
It will also affect how they look physically, bone structure etc. They grow into what they are.
A person that looks good tends to have a sense of beauty. They are aware of the energy of beauty and what it is in the universe.
This influences them. However to be beautiful they have to have a sense of this and how it is nice for others. So they are beautiful so others have something nice to look at.
It is not about having and getting beauty for themselves, as that is ugly.
Being good and not evil
If you have good thoughts, it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. (Roald Dahl) So when someone takes a picture of you, have thoughts of doing good.
It has a good effect on the higher parts of your spirit, psyche and so also effects you physically. That also in your expression, muscles, skin tone etc.
In the long term being good also effects a person physically. A person has to be good genuinely, it cannot be feked.
“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
Roald Dahl, from his book The Twits.
Ultimately good is good looking and evil is bad looking. Being evil is horrible and destructive so makes a person look worse and worse
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment June 24, 2014 4 MinutesSpeechesPeople are persuaded by emotion, not by logic. A person needs to put emotion and feeling into a speech for it to work.
A person also need to speak slowly so the emotion can come out. It is like playing a song, which of course will not work if play too quickly. The emotion and feelings are what matters and if a person rushes when they speak, the emotion in it will not happen. Then the beauty, power and interest will be lost.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 31, 2014 1 MinuteGood and evilFundamentally there are two forces, energies in the universe, good and evil.
All the complcations of all the good and bad things in this world basically stem from these two.
Once a person can recognise these, when they meet a person, they can see how much good or evil a person has, it is that fundamental.
Good is about:
service
giving
love
creation
it looks at the good and beautiful things in life
good just does the job and does not think about getting things.
to be good a person thinks about the needs and welfare of others.
good loves and respects God, as God is about morality and doing what is right for the whole universe and God.
Good creates warm, light and shines. As it is good and for all the good karma goes on and it becomes more and more amazing and wonderful.
Evil thinks of itself, is about wanting, getting, having, taking. In this taking, grasping, things in it’s territory just die. Evil just sucks things in and takes over. Once there is nothing more to take, it dies. As it thinks about itself, it takes no account of others.
To change sides, a person simply thinks about:
the needs and welfare of others
the needs and welfare of God
what God wants from yourself
this will grow and over ride the person thinking about themselves. This is especially because there are so many more people than the person themselves (and on top of this there is God who is infinite), so the needs and welfare of others takes over and a person cannot do this if they are being selfish.
A person should listen and look at what good recommends and advises, instead of what evil says should do.
By serving God a person does what is right, as God does what is right.
Also the divine good and does not think of itself. That is how a person can be on that level.
How to spot if someone is good or evil
A lot of hate: evil prople hate things that are good, not just things that are bad. Whatever event they go to, thing they see, or people they meet they hate. This is because they want so much, nothing is good enough.
Good people are happy with just what they need and that is very little. So good people like things, like all good things and are positive about things. A good person should hate evil, but a good person does not relish or take pleasure from hating evil, but know has to fight evil for the greater whole.
Lust: If something is put in front of them like a joint of meat to eat, or money, they want it too much. They will not be able to stay good and do the right thing when they just want so much.
Field force: Can tell from a person’s field force if they are good or evil. Can also tell other things such as if they are innocent, or wise.
Good will and ill will towards others
If you ever feel like hurting damaging or injuring yourself, or even committing suicide, it could be because you are near someone that has ill will towards you.
If someone does have ill will towards you, it is horrible. Will and choice is a very powerful thing in the universe. It is the first stage that fundamentally effects and determines what is.
There are psychological and spiritual levels, so by being aware of what happening to yourself, you can realise are affected by those things and so become aware of what is happening on these levels.
If a person has good will towards you, you will want to achieve feel good about yourself, improve yourself and be happy.
To have goodwill towards others, practice having good will towards others. It will lead to you becoming a more good person, friendly, helpful, benevolent, kind hearted, considerate, thoughtful and so on.
People with good will have better social skills, because people want to be near them as they feel they have good will towards them. This accelerates into the good person being in a better world.
For the person who has ill will to others, it is also very self destructive and they will be shy with bad social skills and so on.
Evil
Evil people do not take into account that every action has consequences, and inevitable results. This is also a good way to change a person from evil to good.
For example:
Evil wants to take and have things. It also may not want it for the right reasons.
Evil just takes from good, evil dies once it has consumed good as there is nothing left for it to live on.
Desire and wanting things
People often do think that desire and wanting things is bad.
However it actually depends on what the person wants.
If a person wants to do good wants what is best for all, to serve God and do what is right, then it is good. The stronger the desire and want for this is the better it is.
Without this desire to do good the person will do nothing and that is bad.
So it is not the desire that is good or bad, it is what the person actually wants that determines it.
A person who really wants to do good and really wants what is best for others, has the impetus to create a lot.
Of course a person just wanting things for themselves, without any thoughts of others, will go down the path of evil.
Other ways to see good and evil
Aim: Good has the aim of doing what is right, not just what advances it’s own self interest.
Caring: Good cares about others the whole universe, that caring is a big deal, it realises all is one. It means has this great perspective.
Further information
To be a good person needs a huge heart.
This is huge feelings and emotions that spill over into the world and others that cares for and thinks about other people in the same way as the person thinks about themselves. In that way the person is and thinks about other people.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment May 30, 2014 4 MinutesSocial skills (needyness)If a person needs a lot from another person, that person will not want to be with them. It is a huge turn off when someone is needy and people will not want to be with them.
The person will feel and be able to tell that the other person needs these things from them and that is a big liability because the person needs these things so much.
People do not want to be friendly with needy people, because their needyness means they have to have things from other people. As a result they are taking from others and not giving.
It means that this other person wants to take and get this thing from others.
Needyness also makes a person look weak and pathetic because:
why do they not already have that thing?
why have other people not wanted to give it to them?
they are out of control, self control and pathetic, as they have to have it so much?
they are dependent on others as have to have these things, so in the hands of others. As a result others can control them.
they can be desperate and stressed about if they do not get them.
A person maybe needy because:
they have faults and need that person to compensate for those faults.
they do not have certain things in their life and need that person to fulfil them
they are greedy and selfish so have to have things to satisfy them.
Needy people have huge fear, anxiety and stress about getting the thing they need. This is also horrible and unpleasant for other people to be around.
Many times, the harder a person nervously chases something – the less likely they are to get it.
They may, in fact, actually drive it even further away.
Things a person may be needy for
Approval from others:
Makes a person pathetic, it is like they are a jigsaw puzzle with a bit missing and they have to suck in approval from others to get it. They look all over the place to see if people are giving approval, showing off to get approval from others and they look desperate. They look like they are not enough, do not have enough and do not think enough of themselves.
A person wanting this may also psychically transmit words and pictures to other people saying how wonderful and amazing they are except etc. All these things to get approval.
A person is only wanting approval from others as they do not approve of themselves. So the first cure is for a person to do things so that they approve of themselves.
Getting attention:
This is normally because the person is a nothing and has not achieved anything. The cure is to set about achieving things even small things which are based on reality.
A person may be so desperate for attention they do things to attract attention. That they might even do things that attract negative attention, like being bullied and other things, simply because they want attention so much.
Being reliant on getting approval from others
It needs to be that you don’t need the other person or people to think you’re great or good. You are just fine and happy with your life and how you are.
If you need other people around you to think you’re great, they won’t be so comfortable with you and they can’t depend and rely on you so much and have confidence as you are so needy. This is because they know you can only perform it if you have this from the people around you.
if people talk telling you you’re great, it doesn’t normally mean you’re great, it means they can tell you need to be told that.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 16, 2014 3 MinutesEmpathyEmpathy means being joined, connected, together, with someone. So when they experience something then you do too.
It really means that the empathic person is so with the other person, that they become one, as they experience what the other person experiences.
To do this a person must not think about me, I and themselves. They need to think about the other person and being with them. It is thinking of the other person, being with the other person, for the sake of the other person.
Then a person can:
•experience them
•be the other person and their world.
•be happy when they are happy, be sad when they are sad
•be joined, connected and one with them.
Advantages
It means a person can be more moral because they are aware of others, experience others and so others matter. It especially can stop someone from being a psychopath.
It means a person can become aware of others on a psychic level. As everything is one, a person can connect with others and be one with them.
Socially
A person wants to be social with others, it means they can do things together with other people and are not alone. Examples are eating with other people, spending time with other people, doing things with other people, etc.
Empathy means can do emotions with other people, so being with them on an emotional level. So can be happy with the other person, sad with the other person and all the other emotions.
If a person is sad, it is nice and attractive for them, to be sad with other people. This means they are going through it with others, together, supported and not alone.
By feeling with others you are in the same place as them and so can help them. By not feeling things with them, you are in a different place, so cannot be with them in the same place.
Also when a person is empathic with another person, the other person feels that the first person is on their side.
Empathy is what enables therapists to work out other people, their problems and gain their trust.
Being empathic means that a person is not alone, they will not feel alone.
If a person is not empathic, they can be with loads of people on the physical plane, but psychologically and spiritually they will be very much alone. This will also mean that they will feel alone.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment May 14, 2014 2 MinutesStressStress is very dangerous.
Stress on a physical level is a hormone and strain. On a psychological level is an energy, feeling and emotion.
Stress can lead to a stroke, heart attack etc
Stress is caused by doing things, so there will always be some stress.
The bigger or harder the thing, the more stress it will cause.
However stress is often accelerated by the person’s aim, attitude, why they are doing the thing, how they are doing it etc.
Causes of stress
Entertainment and stimulation:
People can get stressed purely for their own entertainment and so they do not get bored. Just like a person watches a television show with a drama, adventure and so on. Another example is driving down twisty, turny roads and driving dramatically for fun.
People make their life more dramatic, have dramatic thoughts and create dramatic situations for their own entertainment. Without this their lives are quite boring as there is no drama.
In this way people actually enjoy stress. It makes people feel alive and without it they feel dead. Then when a person looses their stress they feel sad that it has gone.
Thinking that what they are, have, could gain, could loose are really big. This is of course ego!
It is best for a person to focus on doing good for God and others. Not doing silly things like creating drama and so stress for their own entertainment.
Stress, a person not acting within their limitations. For example a person getting older and not realising their real age, so acting like they are younger than they are. This causes stress, uses up all their energy etc.
Turning energy into stress:
When a person receives energy from above, it is neutral and up to them what they do with it.
A person can decide to turn it into stress and create stress.
They choose to create stress energy.
Impossible aims:
An impossible aim maybe to do something:
more quickly than can be done
without paying tge proper price such as time, energy, learning, money etc.
bigger than what the person is currently capable of doing.
etc.
Doing something morally wrong or illegal
Can lead to huge stress and fear. Trying not to get found out and stave off unavoidable karma.
Competition
Also doing something impossible like win against an adversary who is better than you are, leads to huge stress.
Advantages of low stress
Low stress is important to look good in photos. Stress makes a person look rigid, ill, pale, unwell, unattractive, not nice to be around and unhealthy.
Stress means that the body cannot maintain itself as it is so busy with the stress. Small examples are hair loss, lack of appetite as cannot digest food properly and so on.
Low stress means people will like being with you and you will look good.
Problems that stress causes
Stress is very damaging.
Looks: A person with stress looks terrible, their skin colour is terrible facial expressions posture and everything is wrecked and destroyed by stress.
Health: stress is very dangerous for health, leading to strokes, heart attacks, massive weight loss and all kinds of other issues. It basically destroys the body.
Socially: People do not want to be around a person with stress, they do not want to be exposed to that energy. As the world is one it will come on to other people. They do not want that and will react to it. As they pick up your stress and become more stress themselves they will react and behave worse with you.
Mentally: a stressed person is all over the place, they cannot concentrate and perform. They are focused on the stress and not on the job. The stress just takes over and they cannot function
Cures for stress
1, Need to realise how dangerous, damaging and bad stress is. This means that when a person is in a situation that causes stress, they realise that however great what they will receive it from doing the stressful job, it is not worth it compared to the cost of stress.
They must then realise what the cost of stress are, which are highlighted above.
2,. Regularly monitor your stress by being conscious of it. Just by being conscious of it, the light of awakening means that it will be seen, so it will get sorted out.
Yes there are opportunities, but also be aware of your limitations.
Sadly when a person is the most stressed, they are less able and aware, so may even think they are less stressed than they really are. This is when electronic stress monitors are useful.
3, This is a big one! Become aware of, meditate and focus on the causes of stress. For example when going along in daily life, if notice a job comes up that will do within the next day and observe that your stress is increasing as a result of thinking about this or doing it. Then you can make changes needed to reduce stress, such as setting a new target of doing it in a longer time, or doing less of the job.
As a result of this and see what is causing stress.
Other things are:
Realise what you are, have, could gain, could loose are not really big. They are small relative to the rest of the world and also impermanent.
When a person thinks of the needs of welfare of others, they do things for others. This bebevolence overides and so stops the person being selfish.
Stress is often excessive because a person is being selfish and it comes from their selfish fear or desire.
If a person cares about the needs and welfare of other people, they realise that them being stressed is not good for others and is not helping them. It is an unpleasant energy and emotion that is not good for others.
For example it is important to give other people emotional support. This cannot be done when a person is stressed, because of negativity and horribleness of stress emotion and energy. When a person is stressed they are all over the place so cannot be supportive to others. By wanting to give others emotional support, it takes the person away from being stressed. This is because they focus on being things for others and not for themselves, as they are not so selfish.
4, When energy comes down it’s neutral, but it gets turned into lots of different kinds of things, sadness, hate, happiness and someone.
You can decide what energy types who would use if your energy. If you use stress, anger, sadness and so on, what kind of energy is you will use.
Choose not to get your energy from stress, it will be there and don’t repress it, but just don’t use it. As a result it will become less important and matter less.
When you have energy, all the different kinds of energies emotions and feelings, decide just to use the useful and good ones.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 5, 2014 5 MinutesInvestingFor every investment need to clearly know:
the exact monetary figures to the dollar
dates
specific circumstances
financial situation
how much profit expect to make from each investment.
Never break a promise made as part of a business deal.
Never run any risk that can be avoided
ready8 Business Leave a comment May 2, 2014 1 MinuteManagement (motivating people)Be the best
Tell people to be the best, so they are motivated to be the best in their team, company, the world.
However need to ensure that this competition does not go to the negative side of backstabbing or damaging the work of other people in the company.
Winning
People want to be on the winning team, be on the team where a winner is the leader. To be able to tell people what they have done and they are impressed.
The reflected glory of being in a company where the head manager is highly respected.
However need to be careful of the possible evil where staff can be jealous and want to steal from the leader. So the leader must be generous and do things with the staff.
Pride in a good job
This is a big motivator and something to set an example with and stress to staff.
This is something that an anti management union can destroy in staff. It can even go so far as pride in doing a bad job to try and destroy management.
ready8 Business Leave a comment April 24, 2014 1 MinuteFightingMorals
Morally every creature has a right to defend itself and use force to do so.
However a creature does not have a right to take things from others.
Good people protect good people from bad people.
Bad people take things from good people. It can be subtle, like insulting somebody to lower or take things away from them, so the bad person is then relatively better than the victim.
So need to love good and hate evil. Must realise though that evil is part of the one and so self, because all is one. However if evil, for the sake of the whole, it still has to reform itself or go.
Ways to win
Only start or go into a fight if you know you will win.
Never act out of spite
Never act out of revenge, old chinese proverb, someone who goes out for revenge should dig a grave for themselves as well as the other person.
Justice is fine as it is for others, not for yourself. Karma happens naturally from God, everything has consequences. It is especially needed if a person will not accept they have done wrong, so that they learn the lesson that they should not do it. It is fine if it is deserved by the person who has done wrong, but not if there are mitigating circumstances.
Emotions
Need to have courage and bravery, this is an emotion as well as an intellectual concept. That is why people who are not aware of their emotions cannot do it.
To fight need to get angry and hate what need to destroy. This is because they are emotions and feelings about destruction. This also helps get past the fear of not wanting to hurt oneself.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment April 1, 2014 1 MinuteAlpha Males compared to Beta MalesA lot of this content comes from the website ‘Modern Male Lifestyle’, I just added my own experiences and a spiritual dimension which I believe is needed to make it work.
Alpha males are the ones at the top of the pack, they have power; status, strength, fame, money and are top of the political hierarchy.
Beta males: those lower down or at the bottom of those hierarchies.
What gets someone to be an alpha male:
This all tends to come from being moral as the male gets it for the sake of God and the people he is serving. As a result he receives, gets to appreciate and understand about the following.
Courageous, wise, strong, power and everything in life working out.
Do what is right even if others disapprove, this is because they have courage and self esteem. They are not dependent on wanting approval from others.
Take responsibility and calculated risks, they do not expect or want others to take ir for them. As a result they can do what is right and not just follow the herd and just do what they are told.
Self esteem, confidence, secure in themselves, what they are and do.
What gets someone to be a beta male
This all tends to come from being selfish as the male does not deserve to have the following things as he is not doing things sake of God and other people.
Coward, stupid, weak powerless and nothing works
Is so desperate for and dependent on the approval of others, will do things so that others like him, approve of him even if they are ultimately wrong for him and for others. They have low self esteem so desperately need to be loved and admired by others.
Do not take responsibility and calculated risks, want others to take it for them. As a result they do not do what is right and just follow the herd, or just do what they are told.
Low esteem, lack of confidence, insecure
Examples
Beta male: Makes excuses. Every time there’s something he can’t do, he has an excuse, and feels like he needs to explain it to those around him.
Alpha male: Never puts the blame on someone else. He always faces his obstacles head on regardless of the odds of success. He never complains about problems, but works to find solutions to them. If there is something he doesn’t want to do – as opposed to can’t do – he offers no explanation, he has self esteem and courage so does not have to justify himself to others for their approval.
Roller coasters? Nah, thats’ not me. Let’s do something cool instead.
Tip: Be on the lookout for the phrase: “I can’t do this because…” You don’t make excuses. Not only to other people, but especially yourself. When there is blame to go around – blame yourself for your failures. Why? Because you are acknowledging that you take responsibility and so have the power. – if you are the reason something is not being done, then you fix it. The mindset that evolves is that you take responsibility not only your shortcomings, but your successes. (Please do remember your place though in the hierarchy, God is and the higher words are ultimately in control and in charge of everything)
Beta male: Needs affirmation from others. Is obssessed with how others think of him.
Alpha male: Will listen to what others think as can cope with other people’s honest opinions, even when they are not in his favour. He will however then do what he think is right even if others do not approve. He does not do things so that other people think more of him as he wants that. This makes him very attractive as he is not dependent on others for approval and so controlled by them.
Simply be confident about how others perceive you. You will act accordingly. Anyone who looks down on you is either for a reason you listen to, agree with and resolve, or you do not care what they think as doing what they think is a road to ruin as they are wrong, or they are jealous, and also not worth your time. You do not have time for people who are counter-productive to your self-improvement or being effective.
Beta male: Talks fast, always seems to be nervous or in a rush.
Alpha male: Talks slowly, and in deeper tones. His movements are smooth. Translation: You are in control of your life. (The person just does what is right, but God is ultimately in control and determines what happens and if things succeed of fail. Also you are just one of 6 billion people on the planet, without these perspectives you will become a monster)
Tip: Before you walk in anywhere – catch yourself. Slow down – catch your breath and then make it look like you are walking through water. This speed is caused by the fear, panic and stress of wanting to have things now and not wanting to loose things.
As stated earlier, begin to create an image of smoothness and you will naturally start to become smoother. You are in control, you have emotions but you also have self control.
Beta male: Lives life by the day not really knowing what he wants. Will waste time on the couch, rather than doing something productive. He is lazy and passive.
Alpha male: Lives life passionately, passion in anything is essential for anything to be successful. Not the selfish passion of wanting something selfishly, but the emotion and passion to do good and do good things for others and God. . He has goals – and is focused on his goals and dreams and tears down any barriers in-between.
Tip: You must find a goal you want to achieve, or create one. Even if it’s simply to get better with women. Have something that when those “lay on the couch” moments present themselves, you can say, “I will do something to work toward my goal of ________ instead.” Without an exact aim, things cannot succeed.
Beta male: Gives up when he fails. Sees no point in trying and is fearful of facing failure again.
Alpha male: Failing at anything is only a mistake if you do not learn from it. Repeating failed behavior is insane – learning from failed behavior and trying something new is alpha. So the alpha is courageous and not just reliant on habits, routines and traditions. Failure is only a minor setback to you. When you are moving forward by trying something new, you will be unlikely to get it right first time and need many many attempts at different ways to find the best – and second, the sooner you can learn from his mistakes and succeed. No mistakes means not doing anything new, differently and trying new and better ways to do things
Tip: If what you are doing (like, with women for example) isn’t working, you must be open to try something new. This always feeds your adventurous side – something women love.
Beta male: Uses the word, “sorry” a lot – even when it doesn’t belong in the conversation. He apologises to others because he feels he might have offended them somehow. Others are his cruel master and mistresses and he is scared of them and he is lower down the social hierarchy.
Alpha male: Will not apologise for his desires and beliefs. alphas do apologise, but only when they truly believe they should. They are in charge and control. They do not try and make other wrong people feel better in ways that are not justified or deserved, in order to be liked.
Betas may for example put themselves down or saying sorry for things they did not do, just so the other person undeservedly feels they are superior as they think that the alpha person is crap.
The beta will not try and gain the approval of evil people, because this means doing wrong as that is what evil people want them to do and will approve of. The alpha male knows that is a road to ruin. Also evil people will approve of the beta male if he allows the evil people to take from them. This could be all kinds of taking, even the beta allowing evil people to mock them which is of course taking their dignity.
The alpha will lift others up as high as possible, so others feel great about themselves. However they will not put themselves down to make others feel better. Normally a beta does this to be liked, or for attention. It is not positive and is just feeding evil people who want others to be worse off and destroyed.
The world is one and the alpha knows that putting himself down is not constructive to the whole world. Lifting others up is constructive and creative to the whole world.
The alpha sees the world is one, so is happy for others when they succeed. He does not need others to be worse than him to think he is better in relative terms. When others are worse off it makes him sad, the world is one so the other person is the same Self.
This is especially effective as a compliment from a successful person such as an alpha, means more than if it came from a failed person.
Beta male: Believe it or not – he has a big ego. But it backfires on him because he is too sensitive and insecure regarding everyone’s opinion of him. So he constantly is trying to prove himself by qualifying – or stating his qualifications.
Alpha male: Never feels like he must prove himself. His ego is his ally. Here is the truth: Big egos are a result of low-esteem. A man who is truly confident in himself never needs to lash out at someone who insulted his ego.
Beta male: Always searching for approval and attention.
Alpha male: Does not seek attention – and therefore always gets it. But know that you can always be the most powerful presence in any room or situation. Why? People need to be led as they want others to take responsibility for them and do not want to take any risks. That’s why leaders are few as not many want to take responsibilityand any risks, followers are many as so many do not want to take responsibility and any risks.
Tip – Don’t selfishly feel the need to entertain a room full of women with displays of this and that. Betas are often clamouring for attention yet can never get enough – and alphas never want attention yet get too much.
In a room with a bunch of beta males and a bunch of girls you will notice how the girls respond to the alpha. He’s calm and laid back – the girls all turn their heads to him.
Beta male: Will never admit to his faults and mistakes.
Alpha male: Is not afraid to face his faults and overcome his failures. Admission is the first step to solving a personal setback or problem.
Beta male: Gets jealous really easily when he sees his girl talking with another guy.
Alpha male: Is supremely confident in his ability and status. If his girlfriend is talking to other guys, he goes to talk with everyone. He knows that life is about giving and not about taking from others
Beta male: Easily blows his stack. He loses his temper when someone else criticises him or when a girl disrespects him.
Alpha male: Is a complete picture of cool. He is angry so that he has powerful emotions, but also never loses his composure. If something upsets him, he shows his disapproval of it without getting mad or whining.
Tip: If someone tries to get you into a fight, simply leave. Don’t react emotionally. It’s on them and one has control over you or your mood.
Beta male: If he loses his girl, he loses all hope in life and thinks that he cannot live without “the one” – her.
Alpha male: If a woman leaves an alpha, he simply loves that there are thousands of other girls just as good or better than the girl who dumped him. His life is not centered around one girl, and he has no problem moving on.
Beta male: Did he take a shower? Did he get dressed in the dark? It’s like he is always messy, dirty, or poorly groomed.
Alpha male: Is always dressed welland groomed well. He has superior etiquette. Think: James Bond.
Tip: When you know you took the time to look better, you are happier and thus exude more confidence.
Beta male: Is afraid to meet new people.
Alpha male: Is ready to meet new people.
Beta male: Poor body language – slouches. He stands and sits uncomfortably, as if he is nervous.
Alpha male: Takes up the space he needs whenever he sits down or rests. Is in control of his getting his needs. Nothing surprises or startles him as he has courage and is prepared for things.
Beta male: Looks to quickly get into a relationship, as if he is desperate for a girlfriend.
Alpha male: Is not only not desperate for women, he is never desperate for anything. When you are not desperate for women’s attention or affection, it’s implied that you have plenty of it – which puts you at ease, and excites women.
Beta male: Is a pushover with women. He is willing to commit to a woman as soon as they give him the greenlight.
Alpha male: Does not let a woman push him about and rule his life so that he is no longer his own person Ever.
Beta male: Becomes wide-eyed when he sees someone do something, like he has never seen that before.
Alpha male: Act like you’ve been around in the world before, are experienced and not innocent. Of course is still affectionate and respectful of others. Lifts them up as they are so great as he is a giving person.
Beta male: Women are his number one priority.
Alpha male: He does what is right and does not let women rule his life if it goes against this.
Self control
Alpha male: Has all their emotions running whether it be anger, stress, sadness etc and uses them as they are energy and important. As a result he has powerful emotions as they are fostered, cared for and left to run. He can face and live with painful emotions. However the person is always in control of themselves, has self control and can control his feelings if needed. A person cannot control others, unless he can first control themselves.
Beta male: has weak emotions and feelings, is scarred of them and may even oppress them. Cannot face and take painful emotions and feelings. When a strong emotion comes along, it carries him away and he has no self control. Also when emotions come along he is swayed by them and has no self control.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment April 1, 2014 10 MinutesLeadershipA leader is someone that others follow because they want to.
A manager is someone that tells people what to do.
For example a leader will go up a hill and others will follow them because they choose to.
A manager will tell other people to go up a hill but not do it themselves.
Having people follow a leader because they want to and follow the leader’s example is the most effective.
Most people just want to tell others what to do and not do the unpleasant and difficult tasks needed to set an example.
To be a leader
1, help people all you can. The leader is there to serve and help the people in the organisation. This is also the only way of setting an example, that it is organisation that is positive and creative.
2, Set an example: it does not matter what the leader says it is the example that will cause the effect. The leader can say anything they like, but if they do not set example, nothing will happen.
For example, a leader can tell people to be honest, but if they do not set that example, people will be dishonest.
The leader must have passion and live it for real.
3, Reward and punishment: the leader needs to work out the behaviours they want to happen and reward and punish accordly.
The need to be in balance too much pain assessment they will hate you too little then the bad people take over and all is lost.
If the leader is too generous there is nothing left in the organisation and it goes bankrupt. If not generous enough, then nobody wants to do anything.
How to get people to follow you.
It needs to be the people follow the leader because they like, respect and think he or she is the best person for the job.
People think that the person is the best for them. So a leader must welcome people to come up and ask him questions. He answers them honestly, to the best of his ability. Also being honest about when he does not have the answer.
People will only work for a leader and as a team, when they know the leader truly cares about them.
It must not be because people see that the person has been promoted to that that position, but they do not think the person is worthy of that the position, so is having to gradually do what they told.
So people do what they are told because they have to, or they will be fored, not because they respect him, think he is the best for the job and want to.
The leader needs to have confidence in what are doing, only then will other people have confidence in them too.
People want love and support, people will go along with and go with others in order to get that.
If the leader looks like they are strained, few will follow.
Confidence
If a person is not confident in themselves, what they are doing and saying, then no one else will either. As a result no one will believe in, or do what the person is saying, so they cannot be effective. Also a person has to be confident to be effective.
If a leader is truly confident in themselves, then other people will be as well.
Also staff will want to do their own thing and even take authority away from the manager. If the manager is confident in themselves and what they are doing, the staff member is less likely to do that.
Other things
A leader takes people with them, so people want to come along. A leader does not boss and tell people what to do.
However in a crisis, someone has to take control as there not time for a discussion, so the leader does tell people what to do. However people should be trained and have practiced what to do in a crisis, so that should rarely happen.
This is because as many crisis situations as possible should have been prepared for and things need to continue even if the leaders is killed.
Difference between a leader and a manager
A leader people want to follow, a manager just tells people what to do.
People do what a manager tells them because for example, in the job they want the salery, or that manager has been put in charge even though people don’t agree with it, but they have to do what they are told.
With a leader people know the leader is good at it as they have seen them actually do it. The leader does it and they follow behind the leader.
So if a mountain needs climbing, the leader climbs the mountain and the other people follow him. Even if it is unpleasant and uncomfortable, the leader will do it if it is something they are asking people to do.
As a result people can see that the leader is the best one for the job, gets on with it and good at it. As a result they will follow.
A manager does not do this, people just do what they are told because the manager tells them what to do it. If there is something unpleasant uncomfortable the manager will not do it, just tell others to.
A leader is with people so that they can talk to them and people can ask them questions. A manager does not, just stays in their office giving out orders.
It is leaders who create great organisations, not managers.
Direction
A leader just tells people the direction to go in and they do it. It means the leader needs to spend a little time on the business as staff know the direction to go in and do it.
However a manager does not say this Direction, just the massive micromanagement details of what the person needs to do as they do not know this direction.
The manager has massive amounts of work to do as the staff do are not able to do it all themselves.
The leader is far more effective as staff know what direction to go in and just do it, this also means the manager can delegate and has to use very little of their own time.
Safe and happy
People working in a business want to be safe and happy. It is the job of a leader to make them feel that.
This also has the advantage of enabling them to perform better, because they are in a better environment. The staff can also take risks because they are feeling safe and happy. This is from Simon Sinek.
Why people think they should follow you
People will only want to follow you, if they think that you’re great, perfect, everything in your life is going great and you have the answers.
They think if your life is going well, then that shows you know what you’re doing and what you say must be working and worth listening to.
Of course if there’s something people know is going wrong and they ask you about it then you have to admit to it or they don’t trust you. However don’t lay all your problems on other people and show them, as then they will see you have concrete boots, not trust you and be so interested in what you have to say or do.
ready8 Management Leave a comment February 22, 2014 5 MinutesSelf esteemIf a person has low self esteem and is insecure, they cannot cope with ideas different to their own, because they cannot cope with the fact that they might be wrong.
A fragile self-esteem makes people unable to cope to the slightest criticism, even if it would be constructive to them.
So to compensate they become narcissistic.
Then they tend to compensate with an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration.
They create this feke mask of ultra-confidence.
Such people also try and believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings.
A person with low self esteem also refuses to accept that someone else, or something else may be great. This is because, to feel better about themselves, they try and believe that everything else is rubbish. This means they loose out from enjoying other things and learning from them.
They chase after other people saying they are great, to compensate against the bigger truth that they themselves do not think that they are any good.
They go after wanting other people to think they are nice and great, status, show, ostentation, showy career and competition stuff.
However it is superficial and other people can tell it is fake, not real and the person is really empty and nothing.
The paradox is that this which is done to compensate makes it even worse as it is even more feke and superficial.
The person becomes obsessed by the mask, they focus even more on feking it, the superficial and so become even more empty.
The only real solution is for a person to be real, value other people, caring genuinely about other people, so become fuller and more real on the inside.
As the higher inner levels are more powerful and create the lower levels, the person comes more real on the outside. Also other people on their inside can tell that the person is real.
By working on real creation, things done regardless of show. Then there is a real base, depth and genuineness.
This leads to real self esteem as it is genuine construction and creation.
People who have genuinely achieved and created things, not superficial show, have nothing they have to prove to themselves and so not need to prove things to others. As a result they do not need and are not wanting compliments from others.
Not giving others power over your self esteem
A person has control over their self esteem. Other people cannot control it.
People can give control of their self esteem to others and not realise this in fact cannot be done. When a person does not give control of their self esteem to others, then ladies want to be with them as they are more together.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment February 1, 2014 2 MinutesKissing (advice for men)A kiss has to be like it is from a man, so not a little peck like it is from a wood pecker. Pecks are for birds, nobody wants to go out with a bird.
It has to be like the man really wants her as she is so lovely and beautiful, full of passion.
If it is on the lips then a full long kiss like you really want to be there. A french kiss needs to be full of love and psssion.
It is a way of the man communicating to the lady how wonderful and beautiful the man thinks she is and a way of giving her pleasure.
Women find a good kiss from a man romantic, because it is a way of expressing how much he loves her.
This is why it also has to be done romantically and not like it is a kiss from a friend.
Also scientifically the testosterone in the man’s saliva goes to the ladies mouth and that makes it and him attractive.
Dating
A woman does not feel anything in her lower regions for a man unless, she is french kissed. Full on, tongues doing their stuff, your tongue around hers and then your tongue goes around the other way around hers and so on, says Patti Stanger.
A lady may think that a man is not that great, not be interested in him and think he is rubbish, but when he french kisses her, she then thinks that he is amazing and everything changes!
It is important to try and kiss a lady both on the lips and with your tongue on a first date if possible.
Yes a lady may be wary and may not feel comfortable to have sex with a guy until many dates later on, this to check he is serious and they are comfortable with him. However girls like kissing and that is okay on a first date, girls want kissing with lips and tongues, they see it as romantic.
However be careful to not upset or annoy them by trying to go further than kissing if they have not signified or seem that they want this.
Hence the Cher song:
‘If you want to know
If he loves you so
Its in his kiss
(Thats where it is)
Oh, its in his kiss, thats where it is’
A woman does not feel anything for a man unless she is french kissed, tongues going around and doing stuff.
Women love to kiss and do not see it like they are having sex with a man. As a result they can kiss on the first date and kiss loads of times on the second date and it has nothing to do with oral sex or sleeping with a man.
The man will get bored and want to take it to the next level. The girl will want to kiss on and on and on, they will not get bored. For the girl it is romantic and part of the man loving them.
A good kiss:
•Is gentle so they know you love them
•Stong enough with you and how you do it that they get your masculinity, otherwise there is nothing for them as a feminine lady to be attracted to.
•Movement otherwise it is dead and there is nothing going on. Slow movement to so it is pleasurable, but can do fast a bit on occasion to keep it interesting. A kiss where you press your lips against their’s for 10 seconds does nothing, there needs to be movement.
•Variety: lots of different things otherwise it is boring. Your tongue touches and moves around and along, different parts of their tongue. For example touching end of your tongue with the end of theirs. The side of your tongue with theirs.
Needs to be done with the passion that you love the lady and really want her.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment February 1, 2014 3 MinutesPsychological progress and being saneTo become sane and psychologically develop, a person needs to be able to change their views.
Change is hard.
That is why most people only change when the pain caused by their old way is so great it is truly unbearable or the situation will result in their death.
They also need to be able to face the bad points, or dark parts of their psyche. The rubbish, excrement and nasty bits of a person’s psyche are far more painful than physical pain of blood, guts and injury.
This is because the psychological world is so much bigger, greater and more potent than the physical world.
Also it is humiliating and injurous to a person’s pride to face their bad points, what they are wrong about and they have done wrong.
However these things are needed to be able to psychology progress and improve.
The older a person gets the more a person’s ego becomes more locked and fixed, so it is harder for them to change. On a person’ s twenties it is quite easy, forties is harder and most people cannot do it in their seventies and especially in their eighties. This is unless change has been part of their way throughout their life, so their life is about change.
A person whose ego is too set and fixed so cannot change, they will have a hard time growing. They are already dead and thei funeral a mere detail.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment February 1, 2014 1 MinuteBusiness lessonsThings I learned from other people
Philip Green
Have to have a unique selling point, or point of view to succeed. That is what is hard work, 24 hours per day, working it out all the time.
Need to work 15-16 hours per day, need to be prepared to sacrifice, give things up.
Should never have to sue anyone, need to make sure that at all times the deal is mutually advantageous for both parties, so no one ever wants to sue. It is not worth the cost and time of going to court.
Alisher Usimov
No genius can retain a level of genius if they do not admit to their mistakes. It is only when a person or organisation can admit to their mistakes, that they can get rid of them. Harder to admit to mistakes, the older a person becomes.
Men who creates winners, have to be winners themselves.
ready8 Business Leave a comment January 28, 2014 1 MinuteA man having long term relationships with a womanGetting to know the lady as a person
Men when checking out a lady may just look at her breasts and other physical sexual attributes.
However for a relationship to work they have to like them as a person, a friend and companion.
A man wanting to sleep with a lady has nothing to do with if they are compatible for going through life together as assets to each other.
So the man have to look at women as a person, get to know her as a person, see if he finds her interesting as a person and likes her.
This is also as man will only fall in love when he has an emotional connection with a woman.
Without that he will get bored of the woman he is with, or just see another attractive woman and go for her.
Being open
Need to be open to be able fall in love, cannot be closed off.
To fall in love, need the heart, heart shakra to be open, to fall in love.
Need to be open so the lady can get to know the man and who he is. Then for example a man can tell her personal things about himself, his loves, passions, things he wants etc.
Without this cannot experience a lady and fall in love with her.
Giving emotional support
Women want their man to give them emotional support.
When they have a problen they want the man to say they understand how hard it is, sypathise, say how great what they are doing is, be on their side.
Not tell them how to do it, how to solve the problem, unless they ask them for it.
This is because:
●Men are about doing, so tell the lady what should do. A woman may not at that time want that.
●In telling them how to do it, it will in some degree be different from what they are doing and so telling them that they are wrong, be a change, or the woman just wants to do it how they want to do it.
Often the lady just wants the man to listen to their problems, the woman knows it will not solve the problems , but it will make them feel better.
Entertaining the lady
Women want men who are charming, entertaining, and makes them laugh.
They do not want to be with a boring man.
Women want a man that will constantly entertain them, it is something the man provides to the woman.
Need to make sure that the lady is continually entertained. If she is bored with her man, she will dump him.
This is not just about variety in sex life. It is also about going to different places on holiday, different adventurous places, activities, restaurants and all the different kinds of things that she wants to do.
Just because she wanted to do something at one time, does not mean she wants to do the same thing again.
One lady said to me that women themselves don’t even know what they will want to do, it just changes. It is because of women’s hormones and also women work off feelings more than men. Men are more thinking, women are more feeling.
Giving them time attention and intimacy
Most women would like to spend all their time with their man, all of it.
They want a lot of attention and a lot of intimacy.
Things start to go wrong if you ignore them and don’t give them time, attention, affection and intimacy.
They want you to spend a lot of time listening to what they have to say and being emotionally supportive.
For example, when you come in from work, the first thing you do is go and see her, spend time with her and give her attention.
ready8 Relationships Leave a comment January 15, 2014 3 MinutesConsciousnessConsciousness
Consciousness can give a still and silent central axis upon which a person can ascend to the higher worlds.
With consciousness, a person can see the worlds as just a passing show.
Many people go on the side pillars of science (information), revelation, philosophy, religion. The central pillar or middle way of consciousness means a person is getting direct experience.
(Learned from Z’ev Ben Shimon Halevi)
People who are successful with being aware are awake. Most people are just sleep through life.
Open mind
To experience new things with consciousness, a person has to have an open mind, receptive to new ideas, different ideas and the ideas of others. So not blocked off by prejudice, or thinking that other ways are nonsense, so that can experience them.
Judging and mocking things gets in the way of a person seeing.
This is about not being bigoted and small minded, of course a person still has to discriminate between good and evil, so to not put themselves and others in cataclysmically bad and dangerous situations.
Looking
Many people are astounded by how certain people know so much about the world and presume it is because of their great intellect. These people normally are aware of so much as they just look, watch, observe! It is very simple as most very effective things are.
Things that make it hard to look and be aware of things
Change: people’s thoughts, people’s feelings, societies, groups and everything below God changes. Once a person has seen something, it then becomes a thing of remembering it and it becomes history, it is not the now. It is hard to be aware of change, but it is necessary to be aware of things.
Being awake: most people go through life asleep, they do not look and see. People just travel to work, travel back and are not genuinely aware, awake and paying attention. Being awake uses up energy so times for rest are also important
Waking up the higher parts of oneself: a person has physical, psychological, spiritual and divine levels. A person has to be awake and working well on a spiritual level, to be able to see the spiritual level. It is the same with the other levels too.
Seeing that are wrong: when seeing things a person can see that they are wrong, or on the wrong about something. It takes great courage to do this. It also means a person.
Facing oneself
When a person is becoming aware, they are facing themselves. This is the hardest and most painful thing to do. Facing the pain, blood and guts of the physical body are nothing compare to facing the shit, pain and unpleasantness in the psyche.
The ego
A person may think they are being aware of everything, but it is actually just their ego. It is just looking at I, me and mine. My view of the world, what I think my world is, etc.
As a result, they do not see the world, just their own ego.
To counter act this, as a person focuses on the needs and welfare of other people. Doing what God wants. It is not about their own desires and wants, it is about what God wants.
So they see what is not, I, me, mine. The ego is obsessed with itself, will try and trick person and do everything it can just for the person to stay trapped in the ego world.
A person needs to look at the whole world which is one and not just themselves.
Even of a person’ s psyche, the ego is only it’s part of it. So by a person just focusing on their ego, they are only aware of a small part of their psyche, not their emotions, deeper thoughts, spirit, divine aspect and so on.
Selfishness
A person may just focus on themselves and so only aware of the ego. This is because they are only interested in themselves and their own problems.
As they are just looking at themselves, they are not aware of the world, just the ego. They are stuck in themselves so cannot see the world around them.
They look at their selfish wants and desires so do not see anything else.
On a general level this could just be them focusing on getting money, power, respect and so on. As a result they do not see the whole world, because the whole world is one and is about the whole, not just them getting things.
If a person cares about others; then they will see others. However selfish people do not truly see others as they are of no interest to them.
Here and now
To be aware of what is really going on and not just pondering things a person needs to be aware of the here and now.
There are many different moments of the now.
Physical=this millisecond
Psychological=this lifetime
Spiritual=fete over many lifetimes
Divine=the time of the whole universe
God=the entire time span of this universe is but a fleeting moment in the mind of the Lord.
A person becomes aware of these levels of now, until gets to God.
To be aware of God need to be aware of now as God is in the now.
A person may be distracted from the here and now.
Future: dreaming of the great things thst may happen, or worrying about them.
Past: nostalgic about what happened in the past, this may be because they are recalling their youth, or simply that the past is known to them and not unknown, unpredictable and change.
Other places: this is to have a fantasy of what is going on elsewhere, or to escape the harsh reality of what may be happening now.
Only for now it is what is really happening by focusing on that now won’t be aware of all the levels of now.
However anything that is not now, is simply conjecture, wondering, deliberating, worrying, hoping and not what is really going on.
Everything is one
When a person is aware that everything is one, the person is aware that they can be conscious of everything. This is because they are it, as much as it is them, so can be aware of things as much as they are aware of themselves.
Perspective
A spiritual person looks at the whole panorama of space and time. When being with a genuinely spiritual person, there is a feeling that they can see through you. They are on that transpersonal level that they know all is one.
Spirituality
Need to be conscious of being conscious. This goes up to the higher levels. It is something that animals tend not to do as they are just concerned with where there next dinner is coming from and so on.
Being aware of the unexpected
People often only look at and for the expected. The do not notice, see and ignore the unexpected.
There are great things going on in peoples’ psyches and inner worlds, but they do not see or notice them as they are not the usual things that they expect.
An examples of this in the physical world, is when native American Indians did not see Columbus’s ship arriving, even though it was huge. This was purely because they did not expect to see a ship as they have never seen one before.
This is to do with wanting the habit of what they already know and so expect. People are only looking at what they already know and is in their routine, not for new unknown things. Also they do not like the change of something new, because of the uncertainty, death of old ideas etc that this causes.
So need to be able to be aware of the unexpected. Then will see and experience genuinely new things.
A good thing is to meditate on being aware of the unexpected. Things being there that you do not expect.
The unknown
People only like to look at what they know, not the unknown. This means they actually learn and experience nothing new. They also do not find out when they are wrong.
So need to meditate and look at the unknown.
The unknown is scary, because it could be benevolent or malevolent. So need to look first, examine and so on before leap. However can only know what a new thing is really like, once actually experienced, which is also what makes it so scary.
A person needs to be brave, but of course not foolhardy., or stupid.
Blocking
We block things out in order to be able to cope. If we saw them it would be too much for us and we could not deal with it.
For example blocking out having past lives, as cannot cope with the enormity of it all, all the bad things that have done in past lives, happened to us and their consequences etc.
We may block up high levels and higher things so as not to see them because we cannot cope.
So need to look at and for these blocks and I only remove them when will be able to cope with it.
Being worthy
Higher levels and knowledge have great power and can affect a great many things.
There are also many good and deserving beings and things on these higher Levels, so they also deserve to be treated well and cared for.
As a result a person can only see and experience what these things if they will do good and the right thing with them. As a result they have to be deserving and worthy. Until then, these things will be off limits, unseen and inaccessible by them.
As a person becomes more good and moral, they deserve more and so become more aware of these higher and greater things.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment January 5, 2014 7 MinutesHow to have a good marriage that will lastPicking the right partner
Looking at a potential partner as a person, not just sex
When looking for a wife they need to be kind, clever and pretty in that priority order. That is the secret to a marriage that will last a lifetime.
Needs to be someone that genuinely cares about you and is nice to you.
For a man it needs to be a lady that really genuinly does want to look after the man.
It is very easy to men to be ruled by sexual attraction, so to go for someone who is pretty as a first priority. However having a life together is about a relationship that encompasses all of life, buying a home, caring for people when they are sick, children and all of the decisions. So a man needs to get on with his wife like a friend and a valued companion. That is why the first priority is that a man’s wife needs to be kind.
A man can just want to go for the beautiful girl to fall in love with, like diving off a cliff. Need to look at the lady as a person separate from the sexual attraction. Need to look under the surface, what are they really like as a person.
Be okay with being single
A person has to be able to spend time by themselves to find out what they are like as a person and what they are like.
Also if a person cannot cope with being single and being alone, they will pick one of the first people they meet. However they should go on many dates with many people and not just go with one of the first people, as they cannot cope with being single.
Values
Needs to be that you have the same values, so that when make decisions they are the same ones and there is no conflict. For example these may be decisions about:
whether to honest, or dishonest
pay your taxes or not pay them
be polite or be pushy to get ahead
the children’s schooling
healthcare
types of holidays, activities and what to do
where to live
and so on
This is especially as the two people will be living a life together.
The lady really wants you
The man must not lead with his money, status, saying wants to have children etc.
Of course a degree of it is needed for the woman to find the man attractive, but more than a certain amount means that if the man leads with it, the woman probably wants him just for these things and not to have the man himself.
The man should be able to tell if the lady just wants him for these things.
It is very easy in the man’s eagerness for sex or to pull the woman to use these things as his primary bait for attracting the woman. The man finds out what the women wants and offers these things. However with modern divorce laws, the woman can get these things, divorce him and take these things from him to get them, but without him.
So the man needs to be careful that the woman really wants him for just him. He needs to have one the lady over with charm, romance, chivalry and his personality.
Normally split second comments, movements, expressions or gestures done by the lady will in time give the lady’s true intentions away. Intuition and feelings also mean that a man should be able to tell. However the hormones of ‘falling in love’ can cloud a lot of his judgement.
The man may even have to do tests like pretending has lost a lot of money, not wanting to have children, might be loosing his job and not able to get another one etc to be sure.
A man needs to insure that finds a lady who genuinely likes them and wants to take care of them. And lady who is a giving person and not just a taker.
The right person
When dating, the kind of conversation will determine the kind of lady the man gets. If you talk about superficial stuff, he will attract a superficial woman.
The lady also needs to be of a calibre and have interests that will keep him interested and engaged. If for example the man is a university professor, he needs to make sure he goes out with a lady who is of that type and as close as possible to himself. A waitress party girl maybe attractive and fun at first, but building a life together and lack of proper interesting conversation etc. means it will not last.
People do not change
People very rarely change, it takes lifetime, after lifetime after lifetime for people to change even a bit.
Please do not assume that a marriage, relationship, having children etc. will change the person.
Definitely do not go into a relationship to rescue somebody. Can rescue somebody outside a relationship, but then not be dragged down down by having a relationship with them, where they then have power over you and can wreck your life.
Once married
How to treat your partner
A wife needs to realise that if they are going to scream and shout at the man, they will blow out the light of love. This is because the man will associate their wife with being abused and have to put up a barrier to protect themselves from their wife. This of course means that love cannot flow.
People often think that once they are married it gets easier and they do not have to put in so much work anymore. Actually it gets more difficult and one has to put in more work to keep it alive, or the marriage will come to an end.
Marriage is hard, never take each other for granted, keep expressing that you love each other, buying presents and so on.
Even when having problems in life with money, work, dishwasher breaking down etc. Still need to spend time and energy doing fun things, giving thoughtful things to each other. Need to still show the lady how much you love her, be romantic etc.
A relationship is also ever changing, moving on and developing, is not just something that is created and stays the same.
Need to be careful is not just sexual attraction, need make sure you get on as friends. The sexual attraction can blind a person from judging if the other person is nice as a person and someone they actually get on with as a friend. You need to feel comfortable and happy with each other.
Great sex is also of course important.
Needs to be someone you have things in common with.
Need to listen to the lady, she may say that the man is not doing enough and she may (or may not) be right.
Care
Ultimately it only works if each person cares about the other and this is not just a sex thing.
They also have to value a partnership to go through life with and companionship and this is also not just a sex thing.
Compromise is also important, but as in all things, there are good and bad compromises.
The man puts the lady first
It is very easy for a man to stop putting the lady first. He may start putting work trips, social and other things before seeing her. Maybe even meaning they organise things such as when and where to do things. The lady will see this as not putting her first and will end a marriage.
So once married need to ensure still spending loads of time with your wife, or are being a bad husband.
Kindness
This section is what I learned from ‘Science says lasting relationships come down to 2 basic traits’.
The Atlantic, Emily Esfahani Smith, The Atlantic. It was also in Business Insider Magazine.
Interest in and support with in the other, who they are, what they do etc. Have to fulfil partner’s need for this.
Helps get trust and intimacy, which makes them more emotionally and so physically comfortable.
Otherwise deteriorates into fear of the other person and so aggression.
Much of it comes down to the spirit couples bring to the relationship. Do they bring kindness and generosity; or contempt, criticism, and hostility?
Must scan the partner for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. So building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully.
Must scan the partner for what the partner is doing right, respecting them and expressing appreciation.
People need to make their partner feel worth a lot, visible and valued.
Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together. Kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved.
There’s a great deal of evidence showing the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship.
In some people, the kindness ‘muscle’ is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. A person has to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.
Need to be kind even when you are tired, stressed, or distracted, life is hard. Also even if in a fight with your partner.
If angry, say to partner why you are angry, because of what has happened to you, so they understand why you are angry, not just attack them.
A bad sign is if a couple cannot be happy together, shared joy, when one of them has a success. When one person says their good news, the other should stop what is doing and engage wholeheartedly with them, congratulating them and asking more about it.
Neglect creates distance between partners and breeds resentment in the one who is being ignored.
Tolerance
Need to be tolerant that you and your partner can be very different people, with different values, ideas, characteristics, natures etc.
This is fine as what matters are things that are important, examples are that they are loyal, will look after you etc.
Chasing and wooing the lady
The worst thing that a man can do is take the woman for granted, this can easily happen as the relationship goes on and on.
The man thinks he has her now and how does not have to put any effort and she will just stay around anyway. This can especially happened once married a think now have the person.
However the fairy tale for a girl is the man who loves the girl so much that will do anything for her, give her gifts and will do anything for her to be happy. The man loves her so much he is continually working out what new things and different he can do for her and does them. So the man man must do this everyday, otherwise for the girl it the feelings for him dies. Then the girl gets resentful at what a useless man she has.
Peace
Some people stop having a relationship with someone because they get bored.
However what about being at peace with someone?
They are actually stopping the relationship because they miss the adrenaline rush and excitement of chasing the person.
Stopping a relationship for this reason is self sabotage.
Keep it going
When you first meet there’s the loving connection.
Then it starts to get hard as you don’t have the same sexual interest in each other that you did when things were new, you can start to get bored with each other. Life can be difficult and you can get annoyed by things which can affect the relationship.
You have to make sure you don’t lose your temper and succumb to these things
So you keep being affectionate with your partner and appreciating them. Without this it will fall apart.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment December 24, 2013 8 MinutesFeeling insecure around peoplePeter O’Toole said on the threatre “Acting is just being a man. Being human. Not forcing it. Some make it their entire life. Big mistake. Laurence Olivier fell into that category. He was a tiny, strange, vain f—er.”
I take that to mean that around people one must just be a man (or a lady if you are a lady), be human and not force it.
People who make their careers their entire life do it as they are small, strange and vein people.
That could also be interpreted as ‘be true to yourself and do not force it’
People who are insecure often put on an act, joke excessively and all kinds of things. They do this to cover up and divert away from what they really are and cover up their insecurity.
The insecurity is that they are not good enough and people will not like, respect and want the real them. The answer is to become a more ethical, better, kinder and more capable person.
They are often also superficial because they cannot face their selfishness, the answer is to become less selfish.
You need to be fine with people looking at you. Let’s say you’re in the line getting coffee at a coffee shop, you have a right to be there, you have a right to take the time needed to put the milk in your coffee. You have a right to take the time needed to do things, turn to anyone push you.
You must be fine with people looking at you going down the street and so on, even let’s say if you are on stage with hundreds of people looking you.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment December 16, 2013 1 MinuteConfidenceHow it works
If when dating a person is confident that they look good, then other people will think so too and want to go out with them.
If a person is socialising and that person is confident they are a great person to know then other people will think so too (so they believe that everyone wants to get to know them, thinks they are a great person to know. As people are sheep they think that if everyone else wants to know them then they must be a great person to know)
If a person is selling a product and is confident it is good, then other people will think it is good as well and will buy it.
If you are confident that you are rich then other people will think that you are rich too.
If a person is dating and is confident that they are appealing and good looking, then other people will too and they will do well dating. If for example a person has a lack of confidence with a certain feature about themselves, other people will have a problem with it too and it will draw attention to it.
This works because:
everything and all people are one, connected and together. So if you think something then others will too. Be careful not to abuse this!
if you believe it then you will act like it is so and other people will believe it. It will actually change how you act and behave.
Arrogance
Confidence is about a person knowing that they can do something, it is positive and about creating things.
Arrogance is about thinking about oneself relative to others, it is a selfish thing of thinking that one is better than others.
Ultimately a good person has confidence in others. A good person wants to help others by having confidence in them which helps the other person do well and and achieve things. So a good person looks up to others and thinks that they are great.
It is fine to be confident that you are great, but do not go down a dark selfish path of thinking you are better than others, think that others are rubbish or put other people down.
People will like you if you have confidence in them, look up to them and think they are great. People will hate you if you look down on them and think they are rubbish.
The dark side
Also be careful not to go into a fantasy world and loose contact with reality. The best thing is to be successful and these real successes will feed your confidence. If you are a failure this will destroy your confidence.
Success if done for oneself can also lead to arrogance or complacency, thinking that one is God’s gift to a organisation or whatever the person has been working with. Things are created, eminated and formed by God. If we do what is right then God makes it work. A person must never egotistically think that the success was all down to them.
The best way to be successful is to be good and not evil. Good deeds lead to greater success as they are deserved, as the deeds are all for God and for others. Service of God and so others also creates the rught perspective.
Good karma and doing good
You also need to be confident about others as this will have a good effect on them and they will really like it.
Having confidence in others also enables them to be great and do things they could not otherwise do. It creates goodwill which helps them to be constructive and brilliant.
By being confident in others, you will get the good karma of being confident in yourself.
Know who you are
Are person can be insecure and not confident because they do not know who they are.
Every person is created by God for a reason and has a place and purpose in the universe. Once a person knows who and what they are, then they can be confident because they know they
should be there and are valid.
Succeding
Confidence is essential in everything about person does. A person would not bother to do something, if they did not think there was a decent chance of succeeding.
People who are not confident in something are often not able to do something properly, as confidence is intrinsically needed for doing something.
For example if someone is not confident in how they present themselves, they will not present themselves well and it will show.
Signs a person does not have confidence
They need the approval of others attention from others. Ironically this makes a person more dependent on others and needy. So they are less interesting to others, less respectable and so they also get less respect and attention. A confident person does not mind if people do people do not notice, respect and agree with them.
They cannot accept criticism, even when it is true and the benevolently given.
They need status symbols
They cannot cope when someone else tries to take their girlfriend, a confident person would believe that she would rather be with them. For the same reason they cannot even cope if a girlfriend is hanging out and chatting with other people in case she goes off with someone else.
Doing things which are not right to get the approval and acceptance of others, like letting other people rip them off or take advantage of them.
Do unwarranted things to get the approval of bad people. This may mean doing things which are not necessary or are unjustified. For example saying sorry when have done nothing wrong, making themselves look stupid in front of others.
Blame other people when they themselves have got something wrong. They also cannot take the blame when they have done something wrong.
All these things to make the man less interesting, impressive and nice to be with.
When with other people and you get things wrong
In real life when gets things wrong, should apologise to others if it affects them. Be truthful and honest and pay for mistakes, otherwise will pay for them later.
However as a performer need people to think that material is good. Of course the best way to do it is to have good material and therefore be good. So will naturally build up confidence on the back of this reality.
For a performance, confidence is essential. Investors often do not understand the product they investing in, just base it on the confidence and certainty of the founders pitching to them.
The same can be so many other things such as music or comedy performances. The audience think that person is confident in their material, so it must be good.
However if the audience does not respond to the material and the performer panics, the audience will then panic and feel insecure as well. The audience is not able to enjoy it as they feel the nervousness and panic as well. Also the audience believes it is rubbish, as has had it confirmed to them by the performer.
The natural reaction is for the performer to get nervous, panic and speak faster etc. So the performer must learn as a reaction to become completely calm and relaxed.
They speak even slower than before, etc. Deep slow breathing is also good as the body effects the psyche, as everything in the universe is one.
Done correctly, the audience will think that the material must be good and they just do not understand it, because the performer is so calm and relaxed about it. So the performer is so calm and confident about it, that it must be good.
Speaking slowly and not rushing
For comedians, if a joke is going badly then it can be tempting for them to speed up to get to the punchline.
It’s best to slow down in those situations, so the audience see that you’re confident. The audience think it must be good because you’re confident in it and so they think it’s good as well.
Speaking slowly shows you have confidence, you have the time to do things and don’t need to rush them.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment December 7, 2013 5 MinutesPsychicThe first thing is to establish a target.
It could be to become aware of the people who died and are still hanging around from after battle on a battlefield.
However you may see things you do not like, or more than you can cope with. So make sure you can then focus in a different direction, frequency or just turn it off.
The main thing is to practice.
It is also very easy to think you are focusing on others and other levels, but the the ego means we are actually focusing on ourselves.
A sign we are actually focusing on our ego / ourselves is that things are more dramatic, excessive and over the top. This can also happens because the ego can think it is everything, the entire universe, when of course it is not.
Being aware of the psychic and spiritual levels need a person to be aware of a level more subtle than a feather gently touching an eyelash.
Being aware of others from the effects they have on you
Everything is one.
Become aware of the impressions, effects, that other peoples’ feelings, emotions, thoughts etc. are having on you. Just like ripples across a pond from a stone having been thrown in, that move other places and things in the pond. Other other peoples’ feelings, emotions, thoughts etc. will come over to you.
This means that a person has to be very aware of themselves, so can be aware of the effects that others are having on them.
For example, only once are aware of your own thoughts, can a person then be aware of others people’s thoughts in them.
Everything is one, so if another person gets angry, you will get angry too and will be able to feel their anger.
So to be aware of someone elses feelings, look at your feelings to be aware of yours.
So to be aware of someone elses emotions, look at your emotions to see theirs.
So to be aware of someone elses thoughts, look at your thoughts to see theirs.
Physic travelling
By thinking of something you are there, whatever time or space that may be. This is because the psyche and spirit are on a higher level than the physical, they are different worlds.
Consciousness can travel and go anywhere.
On that level a person can be with different people, places, forces, beings, concepts and worlds throughout the universe and spiritual levels.
First imagine it, then you are there.
Make sure you do not abuse this, the penalties for abusing it are great and this power will also be taken away from you.
Also make sure that at any time during your travelling, you can get back to yourself. Also that you get back to yourself afterwards, or you may be lost forever.
Also need to ensure that no spirit or psychological being takes your body while you are away, so please do keep an eye on it.
Reasons people may not use their psychic abilities
Facing painful things: When being aware of things, can become aware of and experience painful things. This can be on a physical, psychological, spiritual and divine levels. A person can only tell that they are unpleasant, once they have become aware of it, so this may stop them from wanting to be aware.
To stop being aware of things, simply face or focus your attention on something else.
Not being taken over by other things
External beings who are manevolent can try and take you over. You need to have these self-worth to be able to stand out yourself and make sure you don’t let them.
Demonic possession often comes from when the person doesn’t value themselves enough, so they think why would anybody else.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment December 5, 2013 3 MinutesGetting the best from peopleConnect to people on a human level, connect to their humanity. Everyone has a human nature to them and appealing to their consciousness helps to do this.
A person will do far more for people who have done this with them.
Appreciation
People will perform best for you, when they feel they are appreciated.
If you push them, they will want to push back out of revenge and will want to destroy you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment December 5, 2013 1 MinuteBeing a fatherA son wants
Attention
Affection
Approval
from their father, without these a son cannot bond with his father.
This is especially important so the son can identify with his father, so feel well comfortable and like the concept of masculinity and being masculine.
Getting a connection with your children:
doing with them what they want to do
spending the time with them
listening to what they have to say about what interests them
Then when they are adults and you are older, they will want to be with you.
Important to do when younger and especially pre teens, once a teenager they will want to be with their friends and not you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment October 15, 2013 1 MinuteHow to appear classyIn definition times this just means someone has high status in society.
However a person can have achieved power and money, but still be viewed as a not classy person because of have a look and behave. This means they are looked down on by classy people, who also do not want to be with them.
Classy people have things and behave in a benevolent way.
Softness, refinement and non aggression
No sharp movements, in fact as few movements at all. Even when walking there is no swagger, as as smooth and as little movement as possible outside just walking. Sharp and large movements mean aggression and less refinement.
Each movement starts smoothly, ends smoothly, with no jerking inbetween. The start and stop are all completely smooth with no jerks anywhere.
This also makes everything look easy and effortless.
Body movements controlled and organised so not all over the place.
Jokes in movement also make things appear uncontrolled.
Tidyness
All hair combed neetly in place, clothes are new so materials not shaggy and falling apart .
Giving and service
Classy people have a sense of morality, doing the right thing.
Avoid ‘I want’ both in word, deed and feeling. This is a dark selfish hard hole of wanting to suck things in and is not classy.
Doing things properly
They speak words fully and do things properly.
Doing things slowly and quietly
As somebody who is high class has everything, they do not need to rush, panic and shout.
Everything can be done nicely, slowly, carefully, properly, quietly and with ease.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment October 4, 2013 1 MinuteWhat women wantWomen are not as driven by looks as men.
Women want:
A man who makes them feel good and beautiful, a lover.
A man loving them, makes them feel good and beautiful. The man does things for them because he loves them, become she is so wonderful.
The king of the jungle. Like the lion is the king of the jungle.
A man who is good in bed.
Behaviour
Girls do not want arrogant men. They want sweet, nice, kind and still masculine.
What women do not want
Freaks: guys who are into wierd stuff in their views and opinions, what they do, sex life and so on.
Nerds: guys who are ugly both in looks and behaviour, without skills such as courage, emotional intelligence, social skills and so on.
Playboys: men who just want to sleep with them, then as have no interest in a relationship will move on to another lady. Women of very wary of this and will do all they can to tell if a man is like this. For example women will make sure the man is really interested in them as a person, wants to spend time with them, does lots of things and so on before letting the man have sex with them.
Of course women want it to be that the man is turned on by them, attracted to them and really wants to have sex with them. However if the woman is not ready and comfortable to have it at that occasion, so early in the relationship, or the man does not also want a relationship with them and to be with them as a person. Then the woman feels cheap and used.
Other things women want
A man who is smart, this is both so they can be a good provider and so that they can stimulate the lady.
A man who is smart so can give them advice and who is right most of the time, but is not arrogant about it.
A man who is totally devoted to them.
A lot of women want a man who will look after them financially and emotionally. As the man is masculine he can be a rock that is fine through all sorts of emotional weather they may be going through. He can listen to them, support them, be there for them and will not get blown over. Whatever happens he will be there to support them, remain stable and okay. Many men think they have to show off, in fact they just have to be a strong, stable and there for the woman. With the man there, they will be okay.
Affection
This basically stems from loving them.
You hold that hands, you look at them like you love them, are gentle with them, have loving feelings towards them and all the things that express and show affection.
To women this is more important than sex, affection is really important.
The dynamics of male and female
Feminine energy is beautiful, wonderful, fantastic, fun, and so on. However it needs the masculine energy to be able to protect it so it can do and be these things.
So a woman will look for a secure man that will give them this security and protection, so they can be the best possible feminine energy.
If during the relationship the man doesn’t give them the security, such as being, a pushover, temperamental, unreliable, feeble, timid, and so on, then they will do not feel secure and they will leave the relationship.
The feminine may even come up against the masculine, try to push it around, test it and even push it around. Here the masculine must provode boundaries, so it can still provide security for the woman.
Of course the masculine needs to protect the woman, so she can be beautiful, wonderful and express her feminine energies.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment October 1, 2013 3 MinutesApproaching womenApproaching women in public places
Men who ‘hunt and fish’ are the ones who get.
If it is a place where men do not approach women such is on the train, bus, pavement, or shopping centre. It is essential that the woman feels safe.
It is what you do, how you say things, which is more important than the words you say.
Your opening line must not be about or relate to anything personal to them, or about anything they own. If you go up to them and say anything about a personal possession they have such as an electronic item, or their handbag, they will run away for fear you will want to steal it. This may sound obsessive, but even a mention of a personal possession, leads to an area that leads to this subject matter where there is this fear.
Even a joke that you are not a stalker or something, no matter how silly will trigger a fear as it is even being mentioned as a thought or possibility. So never go anywhere near such a thing, or even joking about it.
How to start
What you do is the most important, more than what you say. It is also how you say it, more than the words themselves This shows what you are and how you are.
Can start just by looking at the woman giving her love, she will see that you love her, think she is beautiful and if you have the right feelings then she will pick that up as well. You are giving her love.
She will notice you and from this, she may be interested and even look back.
If it is a public place and you are a stranger, she may not look back at you and express her interest. Then you may have to start talking to her for a while she she discoverers that you are not a weirdo and are okay.
Give not take, serve the lady
You give love, showing through body language, feelings and emotions, how much you love her. You really have to have and generate those feelings, cannot fake it.
To do this the man has to serve the woman, without thinking of what is going to get back.
If the man is thinking about what he will get back, such as if the woman will like him or anything selfish, then the free flow of love does not happen. For example if the man is not wanting complments back, or the lady to have to communicate how great he is.
If the man is worrying about what he gets back it is the same.
If this happens, the man is wanting something from the lady, which is not so interesting or nice for the lady.
It can also lead to an existance, feel, or look of forcefulness from the man that he wants something back which is also not nice for the lady.
Focus on the giving, not the reward.
It must be the man is giving and the lady to give back only if she wants to, but not because the man has asked for it.
The man needs to be focused on serving the lady and what she gets. He does this because he loves her and cares about her.
It must be okay for the lady if the man loves her and lady does not love man back, she is not forced into anything. The lady has received the compliment that she is lovely, wonderful, beautiful, that the man really likes her and will like that.
There is no threat as the man does not want anything, the lady is just receiving.
Of course it is open for the lady to give back if she wants to and of course the man would like that.
A lady will always like a man who says she is lovely, beautiful and communicates this with feelings and truth, for a lady it is the ultimate compliment. Ladies love compliments about how beautiful and lovely they are.
If it is just words saying this, but the man is actually just take the lady can tell this. To do this it needs to be that the man has a good soul, heart and is genuinely sincere.
The man is giving love
The man who cannot feel, angry or negative anything like that. The lady will then get those negative emotions, even if the man is trying to cover it up. She will respond badly to the man as she will become angry and negative conceiving energies, also she not be nice back out of revenge for her having been received those nasty energies.
If the man is happy, full of love and giving love, the lady will herself become full of love, be happy and also cannot help like a man for giving her those energies.
If the man has negative energies and tries to cover it up by smiling, it will not matter. It is what is really happening underneath that matters.
Immediate love
It must be the man thinks she is beautiful, wonderful, amazing, fantastic as soon as he sees her.
The man is overwhelmed by how wonderful and amazing she is. The man is not distracted by, or thinking about anything else.
It must be not be that when he first sees her, does not really notice her, think she is amazing or looks elsewhere. The lady wants to think that he really loves her and this must not be tarnished. This is because in nature the woman needs the man to love her so he will hunt, fight and protect for her. If this is not perfect then he will not do that and she will feel insecure. A look that is less than being in awe of her, will be seen by her as a moment of doubt not love from the man, or disinterest and make her less interested in the man.
The man has to be in awe and amazement of her and cannot have moments which take away from that.
So it is from how the man feels, looks at her, facial and bodily expressions, tones of voice and so so that he really loves her.
Consent
This is a huge deal to a lady. Women want a man that wants to make love to them, pushes them up against the wall and kisses them, because he wants them so much.
However consent is a woman’s biggest power, the ability to say and express no.
Never go anywhere near even close to not letting a woman have consented to say no and always give her the consent for you to do, or not do things.
Always have it when going up to women and in all stages of your relationship, that the woman chooses if she gives her consent and so you only do things with her consent.
This is both because for women this is their power and they enjoy that. Also women have it as their own self defence.
Doing things without consent is rape and women go so far away from this line with good reason. Women are very cautious because of the history and vulnerability men raping women so much. It is important in a relationship to always have it there, he only does it uf she gives her consent, or it will never happen!
Valuing the lady
Women do not want to feel like the man is just hunting, like the man and woman are just animals, flesh and the man is just marking out their territory.
A woman wants to be valued as a beautiful being and have a man who loves them and makes love to them.
Persistence
At the beginning going up to a girl in a public place, she naturally and justifiably will be suspicious of a stranger.
Need to deliver your lines with confidence and see it through without giving up. So eventually get to a point where they see you are not just some creepy guy, but are okay.
Safety
The primary reason why men do not often go up to women in public and women may not like it. Is because of safety.
The girl rejecting or repulsing the man because they do not feel safe, as the man is a stranger.
It is important for men to remember, that when women go in tonight clubs, they are often groped, touched and so on with men put their hands on them. This makes women especially cautious and concerned.
At all points, the man should always make sure the women feels she has a route to go away from you, you are not within reaching distance so cannot touch them. The woman also has an easy escape route to easily get away from the man and go away.
The man should always give them an out of a way of ending the conversation, for example expressing that they understand if they are busy and want to read a book or something.
The man may feel that this will make the woman end the conversation, but because she has a way out, she feels safe, so will be more likely and happy to do it and continue speaking with you, because she has this way of getting out of it.
Woman from a safety point of view, want it that the man is looking to see if they are interested and will leave them alone if they want to be left alone. Women though often expect the man just to know though, even if they do not communicate anything, so the man has to be very aware.
It needs to be the girl speaks with the man, because the man is a good opportunity for her, not because she in any way feels forced to. The man is giving to her, not taking to her.
Then she can stop if she would like to, This is not just moral, but if she has the freedom and it is her choice, she will enjoy and want to talk with you more.
Girls like it when men show how much they like them, are flirtatious and affectionate. This may seem girly and boring to guys, but it is what women want. Women like cuddles, affection, romance, kissing etc., men often do not do this enough as they find this boring and just want sex.
Men may want to have sex here and now, but women often just want to have fun, talk, dance and joke. They just like it that the man wants to be with them all the time. That is why woman want a man with a personality, who is fun and interesting.
When this is done over a long period of time, the girl will relax, want the man and get the girl turned on, so she will and soft and want to have sex with a man.
When the woman wants to have sex with the man, they want it to be that the man cannot resist them, but as women are very emotional, they want it to be only when they want to have sex.
They do not want to have the interference of a man wanting to have sex with them, when they do not want sex. Doing it when they do not want sex will repel them.
However women always like flirtation, affection, love, hugs and kisses.
The compliment
Women want to be beautiful, perceived as beautiful. Women put a huge amount of energy and effort into achieving this, it is very important to them.
If man thinks expreses love towards her, that she is incredibly beautiful.
That in itself is something that will be interesting to the lady.
The man does not even verbally have to say anything, just look at her like she is incredibly beautiful and express love for her.
She will love that.
Women not being seductive to the man
With some women they often may not express that they want a man, but subconsciously they really do. This is because they may expect the man to be interested in them so much, that the man knows what the woman wants. They expect the man to do everything for them and they have to do nothing. They are then of course disappointed and upset when the man has not approached them.
This can be because they are just selfish and feel overly entitled, so did you not do anything.
It can also be because their first male role model of their father, did everything for them and they had to do nothing, so they are replicating that.
That is why the man may find that when they have done nothing, the woman no longer wants to talk with them or is unhappy with them. It is because the man has not done anything.
According to nature, it should be that the man goes up to the woman and chases them. The the women wants this however it is the women that make themselves attractive so the man is attracted to them. Of course if the woman does not want this, the man should go away.
Women who are clever will use body language, be open etc., to show the man that if he comes up to them, he will be successful.
Caring
Women are always being careful and cautious to make sure the man is not a creep.
Men may say that they are a model scout and they could be a model and all that rubbish. They are the look out for tricks that men may use.
So it needs to be that a man wants to spend time with her, for her to see if she is right for him. There are no tricks.
Basically that the man really cares about her and wants to spend time with her and be with her.
Then women over time will test to ensure that the man really does care and wants to be with her.
Motivation
Men out of ego may want to show off to the girl, impress her and so on.
This can lead to him showing off, for example that he has a big car and so on. All this is of no interest to the girl as she probably has no interest in cars, also him showing off is just for him and not for her.
The women is interested in what he does for her and will do for her. She wants a man who listens to her, what she has to say, not a man that talks about himself.
So the man has to be looking at serving and elevating the girl, not just lifting up himself. He only lifts himself up, in order to better able to be great for her.
Be nice and respectful
Women want it that the man is nice to them, he says ‘hi’, asks how they are and treats them nicely.
You talk with them and show your personality.
Doing dodgy weird tricks to approach and talk to them just makes you look dodgy and weird.
The worst thing is ‘cat calling’ where the man just shouts something like saying they’re sexy, whistles at them, or says something in a foul and disrespectful way. That’s just the man selfishly wanting things because he’s horny.
Women want romance, so if you’re going to talk about sex at the start using vulgar words it won’t go down well.
Women want romance, so be romantic, although of course still need to be masculine.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment September 25, 2013 10 MinutesWisdom from meditationsThis is wisdom that has come from my meditations:
From inner teacher:
A person associating themselves with things
Sadness, bad behaviours and other things come from a person associating themselves and being with bad people and groups.
This could be a school they are at, place of work, social group involved with, restaurant eating at, location where live and so on.
The universe is one, a person is affected by what is around and with them. Being around bad things will have a huge effect on a person.
So it is important to be with, working with and associated with good people.
The ego may think it is separate and can resist such things, but that is the ego’s illusion of being separate.
These things can also cause habits and influences that it may take many years to find the cause of, especially if they were part of a person’s education or school when they were younger.
Less evolved beings
Think of the less evolved, timid beings and people.
Do not be so right wing looking down on such beings, be aware of them, love, sympathy and compassion. They do not have the knowledge of people who have been able to advance, teach them.
Over long periods they will evolve and grow.
When at the higher levels
At the higher levels need to be able to look at things, without wanting to grasp and have them.
This means can look at the things in the higher levels and things there, because have the purity to be able to be worthy, and allowed to be there.
The person is then not taking from and dusturbing these higher levels, with the lower level of crudeness and morality they may have.
So are allowed to see the things in the higher levels as not damaging and disturbing them.
This is because are not taking from and muddying these higher levels with the selfish grasping.
When a person is more moral they can take part and be involved, but until that time they can just look, watch and learn.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment September 16, 2013 1 MinuteOpen mindedBeing open minded means to be open to being aware of other people’s views
An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.
A preconceived preference or idea.
The act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgments or convictions.
Irrational suspicion or hatred of a particular group, race, or religion.
Detriment or injury caused to a person by the preconceived, unfavorable conviction of another or others.
To cause (someone) to judge prematurely and irrationally.
Causes of this maybe
The biggest reason is that once a person is open minded they will inevitably have to change. As the person becomes aware of different ways and points of view, they may see ways that are better, or that their way is wrong. Then they will have to change.
It is easy not to ponder and consider other people’s views maybe the opposite of your current views. A person can think they already know the answer and so not look again.
Pride or insecurirty at their own self worth and low self esteem may mean they cannot think that they may be wrong or somebody else knows better.
This could be because of preconceived ideas, things a person has been told, or certain previous experiences which are not in line with most of reality.
Going along with what another person or group says or believes and not thinking or looking for oneself.
Consciousness and awareness is an important for being open minded, because it means a person can see things directly, rather than just what they have been told.
Being able to tolerate, be open to and cope with things that are different to oneself, is another essential part of being able to do this.
Also exposure to things that are different to oneself and one’s own views.
Open mindedness is essential to progress, move on and go upwards in line with the upper and spirit worlds. Otherwise a person is just repeating the old patterns, not adapting, changing and progressing.
God and the higher levels
Being open minded is especially important for being able to be aware of God and higher levels. A person may have different ideas to God on many issues.
The ego sees God and high levels as separate to itself, even though in truth everything comes from God and is one.
So to be able to perceive God and high levels it is essential to be open minded so to be open to and perceive the higher levels. The reasons above can prevent a person from being open minded.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment September 7, 2013 2 MinutesHow to appear intelligentWhen talking to people, they have certain things they can use to judge whether the person they are talking to is clever or stupid.
Speak clearly, enunciate words properly so that the sounds are as clear and easy to hear as possible. Each sound is properly crafted so each part each word comes out with perfect clarity and precision.
Make it seem that you find it easy to get your words out, put sentences together well and express yourself as you are intelligent.
Movements should also be precise, accurate and well crafted . If a person’s hands and other movements are all over the place, they appear stupid. This is because their brain not able to properly control their body.
So big movements and sounds where a person cannot precisely control themselves properly, makes them look stupid.
Wise people listen, stupid people talk a lot. Just by listening to what a person is saying, they presume you understand what they are saying and agree with them. So they think you are clever enough to understand what they are saying, even if you do not. Also as the other person thinks that what they think is correct, if you agree with they say, they also think you’re clever.
Please also look at the section on body language and facial expressions.
Avoid saying stupid things
Other things
By speaking clearly, properly and fully enunciating the words, it is easier for a person to understand what you are saying.
They can hear, understand and process what the person is saying much better and more easily.
This is because they do not need so much mental effort to process what is being told to them. As a result the they can easily accept the information.
Know what is going on and can act appropriately
The world has lots of different and changing things all going on at once.
An intelligent person is aware of all these different and changing things going on.
It can be seen that there intelligent, because they are able to do things about and with all these different things going on
So for example when in a room with loads of different people and situations, they are able to be aware of, act and do things for all the different things going.
Whether it is different facial expressions to all the different people, solutions and contributions to the different things going on etc.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment September 6, 2013 2 MinutesThe selfLevels
A human being has many levels, what a person sees as the self depends on what level they are looking at at that time, or their consciousness is on. The nature of that self, is a give away as to what level the person is on:
The ego: I, me, exclusion or separation from others. Thoughts about how great they alone are. Subject to external circumstances.
The self of a person: who they really are, has a sense of who they really are, true to themselves. The higher nature of that person seen impartially with the universe. Has an inner world and not just buffetted around by external circumstances. At the level of their soul and in touch with heaven.
The divine level: All is one, the person is an infinitely tiny part of that one and joined with that one. There is no I, me or mine, total submission to God.
The aim
At the beginning a person is like a thin torch beam, they can only be aware of one level at a time. As their consciousness improves, their beam becomes wider and wider, so they can be aware of more and more levels at the same time.
The aim is to wake up to higher centres, so they can be aware of the higher levels of the psyche, spirit, divine and god.
Only the higher centres can be aware of the higher centres as they are on the same frequency.
How to do this
The higher centres can communicate through to the ego through images, sounds, smells, touch and so on in the mind. This is the subconscious and other levels communicating with us.
The mind is far less dense than the physical level, hence it is easier for these levels to communicate with us through the mind.
The ego is a mirror that can be pointed anywhere and through the images we see the things. A lower level example is how the body communicates with the mind to tell us that we are hungry.
Using images we can imagine anywhere and see it to our mind. However once we have gone somewhere, it is equally important to make sure we come back to ourselves by looking at ourselves and our body.
It is a bit like a television set, we cannot perceive a television signal directly, so use a television to see what is being broadcast. The subconscious and upper worlds communicate with the conscious mind using words and pictures.
So we can create symbols in our minds to represent things and use them to send and receive messages with the upper worlds and our subconscious.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 30, 2013 2 MinutesHumility and arroganceThe quality or condition of being humble, modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.
Humility is very powerful, if you humble yourself towards someone, they will help you with whatever you ask. It is like you are serving the person you are being humble towards.
If a person talks about themselves and shows off about themselves, people will hate them as it makes other people feel small and ignored.
Someone who is sad, bent over, looking up at the other person, hands open in the begging position, it is very powerful.
People become sympathetic, compassionate and want to help someone who is worthy and in such need.
A person is either:
self serving by saying how wonderful they are and showing off.
serving others, without thinking of, talking and showing off about themselves.
It all comes down to someone serving others, or serving themselves.
The most powerful thing is when somebody gives incredible service, but does not run around saying how wonderful they are.
Be careful of mockery though, that people giving you things because you behave like a clown, like an idiot. It is not about putting yourself down, it is about not showing off.
However be careful of using humility to get things, if someone feels sorry for you, and you are getting sympathy, compassion and they are giving things to you. It does not mean they want to be with you and probably will not want to be with you. Just like how out of charity people will give things to a beggar in the street, but not want to be with.
Arrogance
Although a person should think they are good and capable. A person should not think they are better than others just for their own satisfaction, especially if results in life show that they are not.
People want to win, be the best, so they want to think they are better than others. They think they are better than others, just because they like it and so indulge in that thinking.
This is especially dangerous as it prevents them from learning things from other people who actually are better than them. They think they are better than people who are actually better than them. As a result they do not learn from those other people.
Coping mechanism
Arrogance, showing off, talking about oneself and putting down others, is often a wall used by rubbish people to defend themselves as they cannot cope with not thinking they are better than others.
They are too nervous to let go of this rubbish and just be themselves.
They cannot cope with just being themselves, so they falsely fantasise and pretend they are better than others, to be able to cope.
However this creates a wall between them and other people, which leads to them not being able to communicate through that wall. People can only connect with other people and others respond to them if there is the real person.
Being humble does lead a person to be open to other people, at the mercy of others and many people cannot cope with that.
So need to be humble with God and with good people, but not so much with bad people as need to protect oneself.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 29, 2013 2 MinutesCreativityCreativity needs a person to have break the rules for how people think things should be done.
Most people do not think, or look deeply and things. They just do things the way they have always been done. First need to find out real reason why thing is done that way, once found out why, then can normally find way to do it better.
Never just assume things.
Curiosity, wanting to make things better and solve problems in life and questioning everything are important.
Spiritually
Creativity is a high up spiritual thing, not just getting earthly commonly done stuff. Creating is actually creating something new that was not there or done before. To do this need to care about others, God and focus on creativity and creating.
Most people are not creative as just want things for themselves. So they end up just copying and follow others. This selfishness just ends up in a person taking and just thinking what can get for themselves.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 26, 2013 1 MinuteMeditationBalance
To ascend to the higher worlds, the psyche has to be integrated, balanced and ordered.
When building a tall building, the higher it is going to get, the more it has to have strong foundations and be well balanced, or it will fall over or fall apart.
Awareness
Meditation is to ponder, refect and deliberate something. Basically putting your consciousness on it so you become aware of it.
This means that:
your whole self including the subconscious goes in that direction.
you consciously become aware of it so can do things about it
So for example, meditating on morality results in:
a person’s whole being goes in a more moral direction
one learns about morality
becomes more conscious of it.
Why is hard to meditate
It is hard to meditate as realise:
●The ego is not in control of anything. It all happens on higher, more and greater levels. As a person sees this more and more, the higher levels they go to, and more they become aware of. So they see there as there is a higher, more and more, and a greater world relative to their ego.
A person also becomes aware that everything is impermanent. So everything below the level of God inherantly has the pain of loss and it means facing and experience those pains. Also things are never the same, always changing, as it is perceived it is already changing. Everything comes and goes. So one is constantly being aware of change.
●Part of becoming conscious means becoming aware of more and that means becoming aware of the unknown. One can never really know what something is until it has been done and experienced.
The Ego
To become properly aware a person needs to escape the cage of the ego.
Scarily a person may think that they are in the real world experiencing things, when they are still in the cage of the ego.
For example a person may their that they are looking directly at and experiencing God in their meditation, but actually they are looking at the ego’s idea, image, or belief of what God is.
To be aware of things, have to look at things outside the ego, such as others. The ego has little interest in this as is not itself. The ego is only interested in itself.
The ego wants to be the one in control of everything, instead of it being God and will do lots of tricks to remain in charge.
The ego just thinks and looks at I, me. When a person themselves is one with everything and not a separate I, or me.
People may egotistically talk and tell things to God, but to be aware and learn from the higher worlds a person must watch and listen. Talking to the higher world creates noise that gets in the way of that.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 25, 2013 2 MinutesWorryWorry is often a selfish ego thing where a person is just thinking about their own wants.
A person can worry about others, but then the worry is not so in excess, which is what causes the problems. It also tends to be more constructive.
When a person is thinking about how to do things, then it is not worry. Worry is when a person is thinking about if they will get the result or not. So worry is about thinking about the reward, which is of course the reverse of just getting on with being constructive.
The ego is just thinking about it’s wants.
The ego just does routine, habits, customs, traditions, so nothing new is thought out it is just repeating.
As a result it is just using up energy and not creating or working out anything new.
The answer is to look and ask yourself if ?
these thoughts are constructive and finding a solution, or just worry.
it is something you can change, if it is not then advise yourself to stop worrying about it.
a person has a choice whether they are going to worry about things. A person can choose just not to do so.
How worry makes a person look in front of other people
Worry makes a person looks less able and capable. This is because it if the person is worrying about something, that evidently means they cannot do it, or are not good at it.
By a person focusing on their worries, they are focusing others on things they cannot do, which is like focusing other people on their negative points.
It also makes a person looks weak, people worry about their weak spots and flaws, worrying is higlighing them.
A person can be worried about something and still look generally cool. This is because so much is going well and great in their life, that the worry is just one thing, so in relative terms it is not much and they still look good.
Panic
A good way to not panic is realising that panic does not help. It actually makes it worse.
Don’t worry about things that are inevitable
Don’t don’t worry about things that you can’t change.
Don’t worry about things that are inevitable.
You are eventually going to die, that is inevitable.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 24, 2013 2 MinutesEmotions and feelingsEmotions are higher than feelings.
Emotions last longer, feelings are more transient.
Energy
Emotions are energy like petrol for a car, people who oppress their emotions tend to lack of energy.
When a person gets happy, sad, angry and so on it is energy.
When a person with strong emotions gets angry, other people are scarred of and so very cautious with them.
When there is an argument, it is the person with the strongest emotions that wins. That is their destructive force and power.
When a person with a weak emotion gets angry, no one is worried.
Emotions are senses of the soul
Emotions enable a person to feel if what they are doing is good or bad, right or wrong.
If it is bad, they will feel it is bad and that it is causing bad emotions.
A person who wants to do evil, often oppresses their emotions to help them do this, so they do not feel the hurt, pain, hate, anger, guilt, regret and so on that comes from doing evil.
The world is one
When a person with strong emotions is happy everyone else in the room feels happy.
When a person with strong emotions is angry, everyone else in the room gets angry and does not know why.
Managing emotions
Emotions need to be left to run free, like a river. If they are blocked of oppressed it lead to problems. Even worse if a person denies their importance.
However there are times a person needs to control themselves in times when their emotions are not right for a situation and even gently effect emotions.
For example if a person is angry, it is a good idea not to take decisions until after it has passed, decisions made from wrath end in disaster. Although of course if a person needs to fight, they need anger for the emotion to fuel the fighting.
If a person is angry and goes to a party, their anger will leak onto other people, other people will be annoyed with them and not know why.
To effect your emotions:
imagine you have different emotions
try changing your posture and
try changing your breathing
However before doing any of these, make sure you fully know what the above and your emotions normally are, so you can get back to your who you really are, your natural state. If not the person will be stuck in this unnatural state and not able to get back to who they really are, which of course would be a disaster.
However using these, a person can move their emotions to be happy sad angry and so on.
Ultimately a person needs to let their emotions be well and free. However when needed they need to control their emotions, not their emotions control them.
Relating to people
People can relate to and feel comfortable with people who have the same emotions as them. As a result of these are the people they will have a close connection to and like to be with.
People often dislike other people who have different emotions to themselves, because they are different to them.
Passion
A person can only be successful at something if they are passionate about it. This is like saying a car well when it has petrol in it and it has an engine that can use that petrol.
Passion is when there is a lot of emotion.
However morally it must be a passion to do things for others, not a passion just to have someone for oneself.
Big emotions
When energy comes down from above, it is neutral, not happy, sad, angry and so on.
However the type of person and what they are going through, causes it to becomes one of these emotions.
Emotions are the energy behind what a person is and so socially are a big thing. The more powerful a persons emotions are the more powerful they are. When a person walks into a room or does anything, an ingredient to who is the most powerful person and amazing person is the person with the strongest emotions.
To get strong emotions:
let the emotions flow, nurture them and do not control them so much
meditate, become conscious and ponder them.
a person gets what they need, just like how doing physical work means the body gets more muscles and fitness. Doing things that need more emotions, means a person gets better, more and stronger emotions.
A person gets the emotions and energies that’s a deserve and need. So if the person does a lot in life they will be blessed with lots of energies. If they does evil, they will not be given so much energy.
• Need to be challenged: just like a physical muscle only grows when it is challenged by lifting heavy weights. Emotions grow when they are faced with a challenge that needs strong emotions. Such as managing large amounts of, challenging and difficult people and situations. Arguments, building large physical object. Having to get other people to be peaceful which needs lots of peaceful emotions which will spread, enimate, grow and effect things.
A person cannot cope with more energy than they can handle, so the more energy one gets, the bigger a person’s vessel is to be able to cope with it. So a person’s vessel can grow over time.
It can be seen how a person cannot cope, when they have more emotional energy than they can handle.
The emotions and feelings are a body in themselves which effect the physical body. Signs a person has weak emotions are:
●They slouch, do not stand up straight and do not sit up straight
Why some not have powerful emotions
Emotions can be painful and unpleasant, far more so than physical pain, as the psychological world is so much greater than the physical. This is why many people do not let themselves have them.
People who do immoral things are especially prone to repressing, or not facing their emotions. This is because of the regret, guilt and other painful feelings and emotions that sooner or later come from such actions, which they do not want to face and cope with.
Institutions which ask people to follow orders that might be morally wrong, get people to oppresses, or not look at their emotions. This is so they cannot feel that the orders are wrong and so they will follow them.
Happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin. People happy when get something and sad when lose something. So sadness is going to happen anyway.
People who get incredibly happiness, also get incredible sadness. By going so high up with happiness the rollercoaster has to come down as well. These are the people who end up being manic depressive.
A good way to be is gently happy.
People often use alcohol, sugar, caffeine and other drugs as a way of coping with sadness, it is not just because they want happiness. Sadly though this just puts it off to a later date, when the drug has worn off.
A way to cope with sadness, is to see it as part of the tapestry,.
Another way is to look at the beauty in sadness, which makes it more capable with.
A person basically needs to have courage to be able to cope with emotions and that is why it is so hard to be a real and good actor
Having a heart
The heart on the psychological and spiritual level is where the emotions come from, or to be more precise energy comes down from the higher worlds and becomes emotions.
To have big, good and wonderful emotions which makes a person lovable, need to have a big heart. This means that on an emotional level the person cares about others as much as they care about themselves. So they become, kind, compassionate etc. on an emotional level, so have a big heart.
Caring is an emotional thing, so a way to become more caring can also be worked on, on an emotional and feeling level of sympathy and compassion.
A person with a cold heart, so does not care about others, has no sympathy, compassion and love is not lovable, likeable or easy to be with.
Social and the emotions
Giving a person a compliment or love is an emotional thing, so is about generating these emotions, the emotions and feelings behind it, which are more than just the basic word said. That is another reason my emotions are so important in social skills.
If a person says a compliment to somebody else, but has hate in their heart, it is actually more unpleasant for the recipient.
To be effective at speaking, a person has to have strong emotions and feelings, otherwise there is nothing there and people will not even notice you are speaking.
To be interesting person also needs to talk about situations where there are strong emotions and feelings.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 17, 2013 6 MinutesLearningNeed to be humble so able able to listen and learn from others and not just talk.
It is about learning and looking for people that can teach you new techniques to do it better, not just spending time doing the same old thing.
Never loose sight that the objective, it is to make things better.
One needs to be self critical and have self discipline. It is very hard to face yourself and what you have done wrong.
Always look at the long term, find ways to make things better and improve your skills. Aspire to improve skills.
Things can always be done better, there is always room for improvement.
To learn, need to be able to change as new things, or changes, are different to what was doing before.
When people think they know everything they are wrong, as in truth compared with God and the universe, humans know nothing.
When we think we know, then we block ourselves off from learning.
Learning from experience
Peoples’ experiences dictate their beliefs, but things can happen that are new, different and outside their past experiences. So their past experience may guide them wrongly.
Also new occurrences may cause different results, so if someone relies on their past experience they can be wrong.
An experience may be that someone got away with something a lot of times, such as crossing a road badly, but does not mean they will get away with it every time.
Can either win or learn
When a person succeeds they have not learned anything, they have just done what they can do.
When have failed, is because:
●doing something not done before
●something has happened that not had before
●not done it before
●not know the answer to
So to learn, look for things you cannot do.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 11, 2013 1 MinuteSocial skills (respect)People want love and respect (see article on respect)
To do this need to
look at the persons good points express their good points
lift people up about you
The higher and greater you are the more you can’t lift other people up.
A compliment from a prince means a lot, a compliment from a tramp who has failed in his life means less. So use this status and respectability you have, to lift other people up and make that lifting other people up of other people worth while.
When lifting somebody up it may make you feel less in relative terms, because they are above you. In absolute terms os is not though. However you need to be generous in that way as it is about being a good person, the positive karma will also pay back with you getting more respect from others, from God and more self esteem.
Never put yourself down in order to make other people feel better, people who want you to do this are evil. It is damaging for yourself, as the world is one you are also damage others by doing this.
However be careful not to show off about yourself, you are using your respectability to talk about and lift up others.
Body language
To do this.
When talking about others you express respect towards them
look upwards to look up at them and tilt your head a bit higher like you are looking up to them. This is like you look up to them which is a respect thing.
look at them in the eyes, the white of their eyes, as looking at the black centre is too intense.
Smile
Open your eyes and raise your eyelids
Speak with higher tones when mentioning them
Speak gently
Raise your body up, sit and stand straight
When talking about yourself, to be modest, do not look down but do not look up in the same way. Do not do the above stuff so much, so you are saying that your stuff is okay, but not showing off.
look down more, tilt your head downa bit lower.
do not look at them so much
Do not smile so much
Open your eyes and raise your eyelids so much
Speak with not such high tones when mentioning them (average tones)
Speak normal volume
Not raise your body up so much, sit and stand straight
So when talking about yourself, you express that you are okay when talking about yourself. This is the balance of not putting yourself down, but also not showing off.
Of course though, when you are selling something, you express how great it is using the above.
Inside
A compliment needs to be with love and respect, you need to really feel it.
You are lifting them up, looking up to them.
The more powerful your emotions and spirit are, the greater and more effective the compliment is. The more powerful the love, respect and happiness is of the compliment. There is a greater wave lifting them up.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment August 9, 2013 2 MinutesBody language (dating)To see if the lady likes you.
1st is to look at the person
If she is looking right at you, she is into you. If a person likes someone, they cannot take their eyes off the person.
What is she doing with herself, if she is grooming a lot then she is insecure.
Turning a shoulder at you, as part of turning away to look away from you, means she is ‘giving you the cold shoulder’.
If she is leaning back and you are doing all the work, it means she is not into you. If she likes you, she will be engaged and leaning into you.
Look at her feet, if her toes are pointing into your direction she is into you.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment August 6, 2013 1 MinuteRe incarnationThe physical body is just a vehicle for moving around the physical plane.
The person is the car driver that can move from car to car, not the car itself.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 5, 2013 1 MinuteTruth and liesLies used for evil
Bad people often do not believe there is the truth, they are so in darkness from their selfishness they cannot realise their is the fundamental reality of truth.
This is especially true of people who lie a lot. Their lives are based on the non existance of a lie, so they look, feel and become like unreal people. They become what they are, a lie.
They also loose touch with reality as their lives are more based on lies which are things which are not true, than truth which is real.
They also loose touch with reality, because when a person lies, it is them telling the lie, so they will be affected by it and also come to believe it to one degree or another. For example that is why it is essential not to lie about being ill, because it may happen to a person as it affects their subconscious.
The truth has a subtle authenticity that non greedy people will be able to recognise. A light, real texture and authenticity.
Lies are dark, uneasy, wobbly and scary. Like a wrong note produced by a musical instrument. They create an uncomfortable feeling on a psychic level.
On a fundamental level the truth is real and is what builds up success in reality.
Of course if a bad person wants something from a good person, it is okay for the good person to lie to stop the bad person getting something they would steal or treat badly.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 5, 2013 1 MinuteFantasy, reality and the truthMost people prefer whatever is good news about themselves and bad news about others.
To mock the others they often do not mind if it is not true and to be satisfied with themselves they also often do not mind if it is not true. This is because the desire for such things over rides this.
People may want the thing that is not good for them in the long run, because they want something now. They may not want to think about how it is bad for others, because they think it benefits them.
People do not like the feeling of shame for the bad things they have done, to see the dreadful problems and danger that could be around the corner as a result of their actions, what they have gotten wrong, when they are wrong and that fact they need ro change.
This means people often prefer fantasy over reality and will be hostile to hearing a truth that does not tell them how great they are and how great what they are doing is.
If a person does not want the truth, do not push it to them as they will react to defend themselves from it with great ferocity. They will see it as it an attack on their very nature. When they are in real trouble, they may decide they want to change.
While people want pride and other things, it can override the fact they need to know the reality of the situation.
When a person is wanting to serve god and do what is right, they realise the truth is best. A person doing good then can face themselves and the truth because it is good. A person who is not doing good, cannot face the truth truth and the painful shame of their degraded existence.
As a result, the hardest thing a person can do is face themselves.
Most people are very much in a fantasy world.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 5, 2013 1 MinuteProblem solvingAdmitting that you have a problem means you are halfway to solving it.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 3, 2013 1 MinuteSocial skills (people being comfortable with you)People believing you are the same as them
People want to be friendly with people like themselves and not someone who is different. This is a first and primary thing for who people are friendly with!
So a person will be friendly with people who have the same amount of money as them, beliefs, background, class, nationality, religion status, views on life, sex, interest and so on. The more important that factor or interest is to them, the more they will want to be with people that have that same factor.
People naturally feel comfortable with people who are the same as them.
People feel uncomfortable and even hate people who are different to them.
A person may tolerate someone who is different to them, but this is an act of service, compassion and benevolence. It does not mean that they selfishly want to be with that person.
This is regardless of how nice, generous and so on that other person might be. For example, even if someone is a criminal and a bad person, he will only feel comfortable with other criminal and bad people. Even though such people will rip them off and so on.
This even means a nasty person will only feel comfortable around other nasty people and will not want to be friendly with nice people as they will not feel comfortable with them because they are different.
Yes a person maybe around other people who are different to them to be tolerant to them. However that is because they are being nice tolerating the other person’s difference, not because they want to be with them.
How to adapt to people:
1, Only mention the sides of yourself that are the same as the other person, not those that are different.
2, The personality is a mask, the word persona comes from the Greek word for mask and once a person realises this then they can use it to adapt to different people.
The personality/ego is your mask to the world, without it people will not be able to see and relate to you. They will not be able to tell if you are a prince, beggar, professional, working class person, childish, mature, responsible, immature and so on.
However it is only a mask and you need to know that it is not the real actual you, or you will get lost by purely identifying yourself by your personality. The persona is what people use to relate to each other.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment August 3, 2013 2 MinutesFriendsA real friend is there to help you if you have a serious and disturbing problem. Often it is the people you think will not help, that actually do. This is because people can be very charming and part of charm is making huge promises, very charming people often make false promises.
Togetherness
“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” A real friend is with you, two people being together so they are not alone and lonely. This actually does not even need anyone to talk, they just have to be there. It is not one person wanting to have power over the other person.
It is about not being alone.
It’s not about one person wanting to be better than the other person, they’re both together and it isn’t about a hierarchy. One person is not competing to be better than the other.
Making Friends
Friendship is 95% mutual empathy, joint connection in emotional connection, making each other laugh, making each other feel good, support, advice, praise and affection. This empathy can happen when are similar to each other. It Is words, feelings and acts of consideration.
Being together and wanting company. Empathy means want to be with someone.
It is only 5% accountability of doing things for each other, when we really depend on them for our urgent core needs.
How to make friends
People want to be friendly with people who are like themselves. ‘You and me of the same blood’, ‘peas in a pod’ and so on.
So you need to learn how to be just like the person you’re talking to.
Childhood development with making friends
Jordan Peterson says that from a childhood development point of view, parents need to make sure their children know to control themselves so they can do what the other person wants, and not just what they want to do.
They need to learn this between the ages of 2 and 4. They need to be able to control themselves so that they can do what the other person wants and make sure they can have the same frame of reference as the other person they are talking to.
If they can’t do this then they can’t cooperate with others and so they can’t get on with other people in the world.
Life will be very hard for them, because other people won’t interested in them and if they can’t cooperate from the same frame of references other people, other people won’t have an interest in them, as they won’t be of any use to other people.
Be fun
People want to be with other people who are fun, to do this just be fun, the embodiment of fun and energy of fun.
If you just talk about your problems all the time, people don’t want to be loaded with that.
Of course you need to be right for the situation, being fun is for party times. There’s times to be sympathetic, compassionate and so on.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment August 3, 2013 2 MinutesLoveA view of love
A view of love is that, it is when someone puts the needs of someone else before their own.
This is because somebody values somebody else, more than they value themselves.
They care about others, more than they care about themselves.
As a result they will even do things for this other person, as a priority over themselves.
When the other person is happy, they are happy.
When the other person is sad, they are sad.
So the person wants to let the other person have the last cookie in the jar, as they get pleasure, when the other person gets pleasure.
This creates a connection, the person is connected to the other person.
Love is a heart thing, you have to feel it
Things caused by and that are part of love
When talking to somebody else, the person is concerned about the other person and not about themselves, it is all about the other person.
When a person talks to somebody else they love, the other person can see themselves in the eyes of the person who loves them. This is because the loving person is just thinking about the person they love.
People who love each other operate as one.
The dark side of love
This is where somebody loves themselves, but doesn’t love others.
My love having things, but not other people.
They can love a thing that is not for the greater good, then it can do harm to the rest of the world
People can love having things such as if someone loves the taste of chicken, it means that they love the taste of the chicken in their mouth, which results in the chicken is not having a great life.
People can also love things that are not conducive to the greater good such as if someone loves murdering other people, then the love of murder is not conducive to the well being of others.
A person can also value a bad leader and what they stand for, then harm will be done.
As a result, a person is what they love. Which is why it is important to love good things and hate bad things. For example loving morality and hating selfishness.
The best love
The best thing to love is god and god’s morality. God wants what is best for the world and so then a person does what is right for the world.
Please see the section ‘Love (social skills)’ for more information on love.
General
People will come and go in your life, but you will always be with yourself. So a person needs to be able to love themselves.
For a person to be lovable, they have to love others and do good. This is is also so that a person can love themselves.
This is the same for God, God will always be there and a person needs to do good so God can love them.
A person has to be deserving and worthy of love, so that other people and God can love them. Also so that they can love themselves.
Mr Rogers ‘Love is at the root of everything, all learning, relationships. Love or the lack of it.’
Mr Rogers ‘The greatest thing we can do is let someone know they are loved and capable of loving.’
People loving you
You can’t buy love, you can buy dinners and get honors, but does not mean they will truly love you.
You can buy sex, but that is not love.
The way to be loved is to be lovable. So do you things that are nice and people will love you. Just doing things for people is one way of expressing love, you also have to be able to express love emotionally and so on.
It doesn’t mean anything if you do something for somebody, but there’s no love there, or expression of love.
You can give somebody something, or do something for somebody, but if you don’t do it with love and expressing real love, it’s not love.
You need to truly love others. By giving a lot of love to others, they will love you.
There are people who have lots of money, but no one loves them. It is how much people really love you in a way that matters, which is the real success of life.
You have to practice and learn about giving love to others.
We need love
We all need love, to receive love.
We will need to be loved by someone, have friends who love us and so on. It’s important to have a partner who genuinely loves you.
It’s important to have people in your life who love you and to be able to receive love.
A big problem is if a person is unable to receive love, or if love is there, they are unable to receive it.
For example maybe they had a difficult childhood and so their barriers are up, are defensive and always fighting. They don’t realize that they are in a situation where they are loved, there is love there, they should open up to it and receive it.
We’ll need love and to receive love.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 1, 2013 3 MinutesHappiness and sadnessHappines from morality
Happiness comes from a clear conscience.
Happiness comes from doing good, sadness comes from having done evil.
God is happy with people when they do good, angry and sad with people, when they do evil. This makes people happy when they do good and not happy when they do evil.
People get what they need when they do good and so have a happy life. They do not when they do bad.
Gaining something by bad means never leads to long term happiness. It always has to be paid for and that includes feelings of guilt.
Comedians are often very sad people, because in the short term they think they can get happiness by putting other people down, so they think in relative terms they are better than others. However they are hurting other people, which in the long run gives them hurt and pain.
It is also because they get laughs as people are laughing at them and this is not nice for them.
Happiness from having things
People are happy when they gain, sad when they loose. So if someone bases their happiness on having things, it is never good in then long run as all physical rewards must pass.
Happiness and sadness are then two sides of the same coin as Kahlil Gibran says in his book ‘The Prophet. So cannot have one without at some time getting the other.
Far better to base your happiness on doing the right thing and a relationship with god.
All physical things give happiness when gained, but as they are impermanent will eventually pass away leading to sadness from loosing them. So in the short term physical things give happiness, in the long time people are no better off for having had them.
However god is permanent, doing good is God’s way, so it is the right thing.
Even emotions and feelings are impermanent, so not as important as God.
Doing good means you get what you need on all levels.
Dis satisfaction means you cannot be satisfied so are not happy. So sadness comes from wanting more than you have, so the more you want to have, the harder it is for you to be satisfied and the less happy you will be.
Wanting things is painful if not have what you want.
Depression
A person may be depressed but by looking at the good things they have done, they can stop being depressed.
Even the humblest person may have worked to support their children, done a good job at work, been kind to someone.
It does not have to be big, just something that has benefited the needs and welfare of others.
Ultimately the world needs to be a better place, for you having been there.
Sadness from wanting things
A person can be sad because they do not have what they want.
So the less the person wants, the easier it is for them to be happy. When a person is released from wanting something they cannot have, so they no longer have a desire for it, they become happy.
This is also because by not wanting it, they are not attached to it, so become free.
Enlightenment which reduces a person’s desire to have material things, will therefore make them happier.
Being depressed from mocking other people
People mock others because they want it to be that
they are better than others.
what they have is better than others.
However by hating others and what other people have, they are surrounded with with things they dislike.
When we look at things we love such as a beautiful woman, object, car, it makes us happy.
However by a person hating things and saying they are rubbish, they are surrounding themselves with things they do not like which will make them unhappy.
Stress and strain
Stress and strain means you are focusing on these on unpleasant things. This means that the person is not happy.
Also by focusing on stress and strains a person does not see the beautiful, wonderful; joyous things in life and get to enjoy them.
Satisaction
A person will not be happy if they want more than they have.
So if a person has all they want, then they will be happy.
If a person wants a lot more than they can easily get, then they will have a lot of stress, strain in trying vto get it, which can lead to unhappiness and anger
However even if a person does not want much, as everything below God is impermanent then eventually they will be sad as even that will go.
If a person does not want anything for themselves, then there will be no attachment, so there will be peace, happiness etc.
Coping with sadness
To help cope with sadness and even depression, see the beauty in it.
Sadness comes and goes, it is not permanent.
Sadness is energy, use the energy.
A person can choose where their happiness comes from, they can choose it to come from a particular hobby, lifestyle choice etc. Best for it to come from service and inner things. Need to not let outside things destroy happiness.
The middle way of happiness, being gently happy, avoids the constant ups and downs. This is because a person wanting excess can never be truly happy, as then the person can never have enough. Also the ups must come to downs, so best to have a middle way.
The happiness needed means have what needs, is manageable and worthy.
We are naturally happy
A person’s natural home is God, as in being with God.
As people we are naturally happy.
So need to just not let anything get in the way of your happiness.
A person can be happy, by just not letting events, people, desires, problems and so on, get in the way of them being naturally happy.
Responsibility
People who aim for happiness are often do not take responsibility. This also means that often do not take the time to learn develop etc.
Responsibility is not fun, can be boring, is stressful and a strain. It is often the buzz kill that stops the fun, because the responsible thing means the fun thing cannot be done, or done instead of doing fun things. The fun things can even be irresponsible.
However in the long term if people do not take responsibility, their lives do not go well, because they are not able to achieve and do things and get the reward that come from being responsible.
I’m the long term they do nothing and life falls apart.
In the end it is best to be responsible, but still take time out to have fun.
Achievement and creating things
People often think they will get happiness from having things, the biggest satisfaction comes from creating things, so a job well done that is a result for people.
An example could be fixing a tap for someone in the home, or building something for somebody. A real sense of achievement.
Enjoyment
It is easy to think that enjoyment is happiness, when it is not. Enjoyment is deriviing pleasure from having the thing.
This is not happiness, happiness comes from being good and not succumbing to evil. Happines is also from how a person is and how they are, which is from not what they have.
It is easy to think that enjoyment is happines, when it is not.
Selfishly wanting happiness makes you depressed or less happy
When selfishly wanting something, you are clouded and get it less.
With things involving selfish lust, you are less happy.
A bit like how people in beauty salons selfishly wanting to be attractive, look ugly selfishly when they are selfishly wanting to be pretty.
When you selfishly want something you are clouded by your selfishness, so get it less.
If you work towards something you will get it, but that work is not selfish lust, it is doing work which is different.
If you do things to make others happy, you will be happier, as long as you are making them happy by giving them things that are genuinely good for them.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment July 31, 2013 5 MinutesRichard BransonTaking on giant rival businesses
Not exact quotes, but things I learned reading texts written by richard branson
For an upstart to take on a giant and win, it only needs bravery, good people and a great idea. If you have a brilliant team around you, are determined to make it work and develop a concept that will genuinely have a positive impact upon people’s lives, then nothing can stop you.
The only one who can hold you back is yourself.
What to focus on
If you don’t have time for the small things, you won’t have time for the big things.
Focus on ideas, product, execution and your team. If you do this the money will ultimately come. People who focus on finance generally fail.
Entrepreneurs
Entrepreneurs create value from views opposite to other people and society.
They see economic value where others see heaps of nothing. And they see business opportunities where others see only dead ends.
Entrepreneurs driven just by profit are a lot more likely to fail. The entrepreneurs who succeed usually want to make a difference to people’s lives, not just their own bank balances. The desire to change things for the better is the motivation for taking risks and pursuing seemingly impossible business ideas.
Ideas
While some of us are lucky enough to experience game-changing inspiration, the vast majority of us will develop ideas through a more methodical approach.
Most his ideas took a lot longer to formulate and are the result of steady observation.
His best inspirations came from everyday frustrations encountered at work and in his personal life. Simply taking note of them can lead to great ideas, because if you follow up and find that you can offer consumers a better solution than the ones currently on the market.
Always keep a notebook handy to jot down ideas for improving our businesses; the same applies for starting them.
The important thing is to make a practice of it, preferably every day. Curiosity is a great quality in an entrepreneur: Since there are countless problems to solve, we are all exposed to many different opportunities throughout the day – all you have to do is follow up.
Management
Key to any business is communication and attention to detail. In the early days of Virgin Airlines they used to run out of sugar a lot, this would annoy some coffee drinkers if they could not have it on a long flight. Communication was needed so head office found out from the air hostesses and attention to detail, so they knew how important such a small thing was.
ready8 Business Leave a comment July 30, 2013 2 MinutesSocial skills (how to get people to like you)This is learned from someone who met Tony Blair the former UK pri minister.
1, He made the person he was talking to feel like the most important thing in the world.
2, Genuinly be interested in everything about the other person, not just generically, but their skills and other things. He did not go up to other people and mention about himself and what he had done, he just asked the person he was talking to about themselves and what they do.
3, He then deprecated himself in relation to the other person, by saying things like ‘I wish I could do that’ or ‘what you do is do much more important than what I do’.
4, He also acted with an openess of a best, trusted friend who cares about, admires and loves the person he was talking to as a best friend would. Normally people only do this openess with another person if they care, love and really trusts someone. This openess means on an astral level he really could be hurt, so most people normally only do this if they really trust the person they are talking to. This best friend stuff was of course a false promise that he wanted to be their best friend.
Of course Tony Blair used this for people to choose him for pri minister and other such roles.
General things, not specifically Tony Blair
Be very appreciative and thank ful of people and what they do.
Be humble. MN
An interest in people
Able to look at and be very aware of people’s feelings, this is the big one. For example can tell how people are hurt, when they are told that they are wrong or should do things differently.
Interested in people.
A communicator.
Then can know what they want and not to hurt them.
This means a person can be a warm, friendly person, that wants to hug other people and get them into the community.
This is about feelings and emotions, which is the opposite of somebody who is interested in logic, machines, calculations, physics and computers.
However, each person has a different makeup, this just may not be you. Your value may be in science, logic, computers, etc.
Do not be self absorbed
Being self absorbed is being preoccupied with one’s own thoughts, emotions, life, good qualities, bad qualities, what they look like etc.
A definition of love is to value the well being of others more, or as much as your own.
When being with people it has to all be about them, not at all about yourself.
So need to be firstly thinking about, interested in, hoping for and wanting the best for other people’s thoughts, emotions, life, qualities, what they look like etc. Also known as goodwill and best wishes.
Cannot fake it, actually have to do it, then you will shine and people will want to be with you.
Of course do not push it too far, have to make sure you needs are met so you can function and be well for others.
People liking and loving you
To be liked, a person has to like other people.
So by liking other people, a person becomes likeable.
Love is a bigger and greater version of like.
To get love, a person has to give love.
So by giving love to other people, a person becomes lovable.
You have to genuinely love other people. Love is a hugely powerful thing and it’s what does it.
Of course to do these things properly, they have to be done without any thought of return.
People will naturally like a person who loves God, God is the power behind all that all is made from and is one with. So by a person loving God, they love all.
People thinking you are awesome and wanting to get to know you
Be kind and empathetic.
Empathy means understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another. An empathic person can also do this without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in a physical manner ; also : the capacity for this
So you show empathy and ready comprehension of other people states. For example you are aware that someone needs something and helps them get it.
Also be fun, if you do fun things and share those experiences with others by telling stories with them and letting people join you it is a good way. However you have to do fun things and enjoy doing them to be able to do this.
People often do not care if a person is good or bad, just if they are charming or tedious.
Never tell people they are wrong
Highly advanced people want other people to say when they are wrong but these people are few and far between. Also this should only be done when the person really need to know that because what they are wrong about is relevant.
For the fast majority of people they want to know they are right and not that they are wrong about anything. This is to the smallest tiniest degree.
People want to know how to they are very right they are and how good it is they are right about it.
However be careful of flattery which is telling people how great they are, or something they have is, for insincere reasons, or telling them that something is great when it is not.
So only tell someone it’s great when it is and also only for the right reasons. Needs to be done because that you want someone to be well and good. It must not be not because you selfishly want something from them, or even worse that you are being dishonest with them to get it.
Being fun
Need to be fun for people to want to be with you, that is what you are, play games, joke and enjoy being with others like a party. People will want to be you because it is like fun at a party.
However people who are in that mood are not reliable and organised. People are often wanting to be with such people, like sales people can be like this. However they are no good at actually producing things, because doing those things is boring. People do not want to be with people who are boring.
So need to be able to change from being fun and enjoying yourself when want people to want to be with you. To being focused determined and organised, when things actually need to be done.
Happy and Joy
People want to be around people who are happy and have joy.
Have a look at Britney Spears, she is happy and full of joy, that’s why people want to be around her.
She’s enjoying things, and the things she does.
So when you have a performer or dancer, they’re enjoying themselves. Other people will only enjoy whatever you do, if you are as well.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment July 25, 2013 5 MinutesMoralsSigns of genuine morality
If you count what you have given away to other people, it means you expecting a reward and it is not true benevolence. So do not count what you have given away.
Service
True morals are about service.
As morals are about service, whether a person is serving a good or evil being will determine if they themselves are good, or bad.
A person needs to serve good and destroy evil.
Should only serve people who will treat what you give them properly and who deserve it. Although never get extreme with this as mercy is always needed.
By serving God you are doing good, because God wants what is right for the universe. If you serve a bad person, then you will be doing bad, because a bad person does not want what is right for the universe.
When you are serving God correctly, you have given yourself to God, so you are God’s. God then owns and instructs you, as god is your master.
However God is a good master, so wants you to be well and free.
Signs a person is serving a good master
A good master wants other people to do things not for the master, but for others.
A good master wants the follower to be true to thenselves and an individual, not just follow orders and be a clone of the master.
A good master wants to people to learn, knowing eventually that the pupil will exceed and be better than the master.
Although the master needs some obedience from the servant, the master want the servant and to be as well as possible and not oppress them in any way.
The master only wants a servant to follow them if they would like to, lets them make their own mistakes and is fine if the servant goes elsewhere whenever they would like to.
In truth the master is there to serve the servant, so the servant can be as well as possible from having served the master.
The servant when serving the master is doing what they are told, not just in physical actions, but also psychologically, intellectually and spiritually. So if the servant goes downhill on these levels there is a problem with the master. The master is not just telling them what, but from his example also showing how and why to do it.
How to become more moral
Think about the needs and welfare of others, this must be the motivation, what keeps the person interested and focused on doing it.
The needs, welfare, feelings, worries and so on of others must really matter.
The person does not think so much about their own wants, purposes as they are so focused on others.
Their purpose is to do what is right for God, the universe and others.
Need to really care about God and others on all levels, physical, psychological, emotionally, spiritually, divine and with God.
So need to be aware of, feel other people’s joy, sadness etc. If care about other people will do this.
Of course need to have what you need to serve others. The big thing is the difference is between having what you want and having what you need. Also the person has it for the sake of others, so can serve others. Having what you want is a never ending cycle, that leads to people wanting more and more, this is far in excess of what you need.
When this is done right, the person has what they need for serving others. For example, the food they eat is so they have the energy and a healthy body for serving others.
It is about motive, why the person is doing it. For example:
•To get money enough money to live, survive and procreate like a vegetable. These people tend to be the workers who do as little as possible, just enough to get by.
•To be the best, top dog, number one in the competition, head of the pack and power, like an animal. These people tend to be the politicians, leaders etc.
•For the glory of God. These people are the most productive and produce the greatest work.
Whereas the thief is looking for an opportunity to steal. The good person is looking for an opportunity to do good.
Signs that someone is not moral
People will of course pretend they are highly moral, but the following saturday things can be subtle giveaways.
excessive lust for example when having food in front of them.
look at people when they think nobody is looking at them, for example when out walking down street.
look at people doing a minor interaction with someone they do not regard as important to their life, you may see a very different person. It could be something as subtle as a hand movement or one minute a twitch in their voice which gives away their disregard for others.
fear for their own well being.
Levels of morality
This is best described in the amazing book The Bhagavad Gita.
Tamas: laziness and indifference this is the worst of all.
Rajas: doing things purely for reward.
Sattva: doing things because it is right.
If you are at Tamas, it is best to work towards Rajas and then later go to Sattva. Going straight from Tamas to Sattva in one go for is often an excessive short term goal which will only result in failure.
Light and dark
When a person thinks about others, creates for others and gives what they have for others, they are like a shining light. As what they have is for others, they receive even more from above because it is for other people and creating for other people. There is a circle of giving to others, so more comes down from above. As a result of this circle of giving for others, more comes from above, for going to others, things get bigger and bigger and better and better, lighter and lighter.
When just thinking about yourself and taking for yourself, no light is produced, it is just sucked in like a black hole. A person does not get things from above because it is just about taking, it is not to serve others at, they are just taking for themselves. The person becomes more dead, lacking energy, wisdom and becomes more lifeless.
Being deserving
God gives people the good looks, energy, intellect and wisdom that they deserve and will treat properly. If they earn these things and then mis treat them, they will loose them.
If you need and deserve energy, you will receive it. Things you have must be for god, god wants what is best for others and the world.
So whatever a person has, be it a company, child, an investment and so on. It is for god and owned by god, it is not theirs.
Short and long term
Doing good may seem like pain, suffering, hard work and losss in the beginning, but in the long term is always the best way.
Doing bad may seem like pleasure, enjoyment, easy and gain in the short term, but in the long time will be a huge disaster which the person will pay for.
A person’s lower sensual desires may make them want things in the short term, which is why a person has to listen to god and think about the long term. A person needs to think about their future incarnations and lives, it is that long term.
God thinks about the lifetime of this universe, the universe after this one and after this one. Even the duration of this universe is under a minute in the mind of god, god thinks that long term.
So to be moral a person has to be able to do the long term.
A person’s desire for gratification can make them want something now. They selfishly want it and cannot wait. This may mean they do it at the wrong time.
For example:
Spending money before have earned it, means have to borrow. Paying the interest in something for consumption and not investing, means paying more in the long term so getting less.
They want to eat the cake now, they are focused on this so cannot see any more than selfishly eating the cake. So they do not think about what is right for others, doing work which will create things for the future, what is going on in the rest of the universe etc.
A person does not want to do work as it seems boring and painful now. They cannot see how it will create things for the future and help others.
The advantages of doing things from service
It is best to focus on service and not on reward.
Most people spend most of the energy dreaming of reward and very little going into the job.
As servers are focused on the job, not on the reward, they can do the job again and again not worrying about failure. They can change things and take risks. They have huge persistence, are able to continue and are not affected by failure.
Being free from dreaming about reward, they are clearer in what they are doing.
By doing good service, they receive more energy wisdom and ability from god. This is so they can do the good things better, as what they do is for others.
As all their energy and focus is on service and not just dreaming of reward, they perform so much better.
Awareness
When a person is just thinking of them selves and what they receive (the ego). The person does not see the whole world, others and so on. They are only interested in themselves so only see themselves and their corner. This means they do not see the rest of, all of the world and how it works.
By caring about others, one becomes aware of the rest of the world and how it works. This is because the person is interested in the world and not just themselves, as they care about the world.
As the world is one unit, operating as a whole, with consequences, comings and goings etc. The person is then aware of how the world really works, they see the whole and bigger picture.
General
When someone is doing something morally they just get on with it, they may not get a reward but ‘so be it’, they just get on with it. They do the work.
Focus
Focus on the job, not the reward.
Just like aiming a gun, a person needs to focus on the target and the rest will follow.
The driver looks at where the car should go and the rest follows.
Need to focus on the aim, as then the sub conscious and even the higher worlds can help and get on with it. However that aim to create something for others and not personal reward.
Dreaming of the personal reward is the opposite of focusing on the job and getting it done. Most people spend most of their energies dreaming of reward and not getting on with the job.
So need to focus on what on the aim, get on with the job and not fantasise of personal reward.
Focusing on the aim is constructive, dreaming of reward is just selfish wants that do not create anything.
Although focusing on the aim is needed to be successful. It may not necessarily be moral if that aim is sonething for yourself.
It needs to be an aim to create something which is for others. So for example, a business person aims at making money, but that money must be dedicated to God and others.
Being moral can be boring
Many people believe that morality is a bit boring, a bit like being in a quiet serene country club, with nice company and gentle food.
Many people prefer the loud, flashy, sexy, bright lights, alcoholic drinking such as in a gambling town. They get bored without them and so want them.
They see these things as exciting. This is even though such things always have another side of pain and suffering.
To be frank being moral is boring, things always go nicely and well is boring and not exciting.
People for example often are friendly with and associate themselves with less nice because it is more exciting and interesting. It may be for the challenge as such people are more difficult to handle and deal with, or because of the excitement caused by being with such people because of the naughty things they do.
This is like how films and novels have a story where something has gone wrong. Once the problem in the story is sorted out and there is a happy ending, the film or novel finishes as it is boring and not entertaining.
However a person normally choose this excitement and not the nice boring way because the person does not care about others, so want for these things are not over ridden by caring for others.
So if you are with people please remember you may need to do the second one with many of them, or many people will find you boring.
A person who cares about others realises that drugs, alcohol, gambling and so on causes them damage which means they are not able to serve others, help others and may even become a burden to them. A person who cares about others is also motivated to spend their time and energy helping others and not doing these selfish tbings.
Yes morality may seem a bit boring, but the resulting pretty, quiet, serene joyousness is the best way of having inner peace, so being happy and does not lead to negative karma.
Focus on service and not on reward
If a person is focused on service then they are doing the job.
If they are focused on enjoyment and indulgence of things then that is the opposite. However that does mean the person does not enjoy things and get pleasure from things so much.
It means the person does not get so stressed and frantic about whether they get things or not. They also do not have the massive lows from when they eventually loose the reward or things go wrong. They are not so focused on getting these rewards for themselves; they do not see so much if they have them.
So even if a person has lots of reward, it makes little difference to them as they are not thinking about them all the time.
A person who does good naturally receive happiness, pleasure and joy. This is good at this not be rejected or seen as a bad feeling. It is just that the person is not chasing it for themselves.
Things it takes morals to do
Admit to yourself that you are wrong, this is far harder than admitting it to others.
Not want revenge. People punishing others for the sake of the other person needing a learning experience, if the other person has not learned the lesson and will not learn any other way is fine. However not a person getting revenge on another person because they want it for themselves to be even.
Emotions and feelings
A good person feels:
really good when they do something good (as they care about goodness in the universe as a thing in itself, doing the right thing and also the other person they have effected by their actions)
really bad when they do something bad. (for the same reason)
An evil person:
really bad when they do something good. (as they feel like they have lost something)
really good when they do something bad (as they feel like they have gained something)
So it is about what the person is focused on.
Productivity
Moral people are more productive as they are focused on service and are not using up time and energy worrying about the loss of what they have given away.
They are focused on giving, producing and helping, not on loosing things from having given them away, rejection and failure. This gives them huge energy, enthusiasm and creativity as they are not worried by loss and they are not worried by having used up their time and energy and getting nothing in return.. They just care about creating, the long term and others.
They are fine and may not even notice or care if they have:
given away energy when they gave someone happiness
felt smaller when they lifted someone up with a compliment
smiled at someone and the other person did not smile back
put time and energy into a project that failed.
As they are focused on giving and not interested, or worried by what they have lost
How being moral benefits a person
People who look after themselves best, manage it because they care about others. It is easy for them to do things to keep themselves healthy as it is for the other people who benefit by them being well. If the person is well then others can get the best service from them.
If a person does not look after themselves so they are unhealthy, then they cannot serve others well, their bad health will he a burden on others, it is not nice energies and stuff to be putting into the universe and it is not pleasant for other people to see and be around the person.
Also people who do things for others end up being healthy, because the higher worlds ensure this as it is for the sake of other pe ople who get things from them.
Getting bigger and bigger, greater and greater, higher and higher.
When a person does good and is doing things for others, God gives the more tools, teachings and energies and so on.
This is because the person is doing things for God and right so deserves more.
Like a snowball going downhill, accumulating and gaining more and more snow, going faster and faster, getting bigger and bigger and so on. A person who does good for the sake of God will become more and more intelligent, capable, energised, brilliant and have more and more in their life.
Consequences
To be moral a person has to realise that everything has consequences.
For example, a person may want to hit or steal from a person, but will mean that other person wants revenge and in some way eventually they will get it, also guarding from that other person uses up energy and resources
So to be moral need to be aware of consequences.
The selfish desire to have something can lead to a person just looking at that and not consequences.
Often a person becomes more moral because their life has gone so badly. People are horrible to them, they have no money, nasty things keep on happening to them, they are sad angry and not happy.
They realise that this has happened as a result of their selfishness, so they go the other way and be good, because they have experienced that being selfish does not work and never want to do it again.
Needs and wants
However much a person wants, they will always want more. When a person sees something they want it.
They may think they can be satisfied, they will be happy when get more, but will get used to that and soon want more.
The solution is for a person to just focus on what they need.
For some people the person just wants enough food, water, clothing and warmth to be fine.
However each person is different, with a different make up, talents and so has different needs.
One person may need time to think, another space to run and for each of those people the other thing may be useless.
Only a person themselves knows what they need.
No one else can tell another person what they need.
A person has to be true to themselves and their own needs.
Everybody is different and unique.
However with needs, once u person has what they need, they do not need anymore. It does not grow and grow and grow, so morally they just have what they need and no more.
The best morals is for a person to have what they need for serving others. For example they eat just the food needed to have the energy they need for doing a job for others.
Caring
To be moral and in fact for anything to work, people have to care.
Care about the needs and welfare others and things going well.
Caring is an emotional, feeling thing and awareness thing, not just intellectual.
Self justification
A person needs to think they are doing the right thing.
People from ego, make themselves the hero of their own stories.
However a person in their heart of hearts knows the truth. If a person is not doing the right thing they feel awful, have a hard time sleeping etc.
When a person wants something, they can then try and justify why they are doing it, that it is right to do it, when it is not.
So please try and look out for self justification.
●You may be doing something wrong.
●You may be doing it for the wrong reasons, so you pretend to yourself are doing it for a reason are not doing it for.
●It may not be the right thing to do.
So by looking out for self justification, can see what should really be doing and why people really do things.
Whatever happens deep down in reality a person will know it is wrong, images will come up in their mind etc.
Confession
The hardest person to admit that you are doing the wrong thing to, is yourself.
The pain, humiliation and hardship of the knowing what doing is wrong, or have done is wrong. This is the biggest pain and sadness of all. That is why people have to drink, take drugs and get depressed, because of this sadness and pain.
The pain, muck and unpleasantness of the physical world, is nothing compared to that of the psychological world.
For a person to learn, progress and be moral, a person has to admit to themselves that they have done this wrong things.
Without a sense of shame, a person cannot be moral.
Even if they have consciously not admitted to themselves that they have done the wrong thing, their subconscious is probably punishing themselves anyway. Need to be careful not to punish myself too far so as to damage oneself.
It could even be for things a person did in their past life, that they are not even conscious of.
A human moment
On the path to becoming more moral need to have a human moment.
This is where are reflective.
Realise that are just a human being, the pain and suffering that have caused other people by things that have done wrong.
Realise the other people have hurt.
Then will be sad, often cry.
Then hopefully will try to reconcile with people to resolve these problems.
Responsibility
A person can only be truly moral if they take responsibility for what they have done and what they are doing. That it was them that did not behave correctly, it is not anyone else’s fault, they did it.
Only once a person is taking responsibility for themselves and their actions, how they affect others and God, can they really see what is right or wrong.
Although a person must behave properly themselves, they cannot take responsibility for the bad choices other people may choose to do, that is their own karma.
Redemption
First a person has to believe they are redeemable.
Then they learn that they have a choice and so can be moral.
Then as a person comes to understand the importance of moral values, the deeper becomes their shame, guilt, regret and sorrow when they think of their previous victims.
Selfish desire
Selfish desire is a dark energy of wanting things for yourself. It wants more, thinks will be happy and satisfied when has more but never is.
It leads to a person having a dark selfishness. They want things now and cannot wait, getting stressed, pushy and aggressive to others to get it. This aggression and dark energy effects them and so is damaging and shakes them apart as well. They become this dark hole.
Morals and good are a real thing
Morals and good are a real thing, force, concept, happening.
Evil and selfishness are also a real thing.
People who are selfish often cannot tell that good and evil are real things in the universe.
Need to meditate on, think about, focus on, have your heart and set on, be passionate about this real thing in the universe. Then as morals matter the person builds on and does these things for the sake of morality.
Like a person may care about a building, to that person morals matter and will be something a person really cares about.
As morals are a real thing, when a person has morals, others can tell and feel that they have that thing / are aligned with good from God.
This is because morals are from God and a person is just aligned with them.
In the same way others can tell and feel if a person is of evil and taking as that is a real force, thing, entity in the universe.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment July 24, 2013 17 MinutesHiring and investing in good people is most important part of any investment‘You can’t do a good business with a bad person. Find the right people to work with and you can’t go wrong.’ Richard Branson.
When shown an investment, Sir Tom Hunter does not care so much about the business plan. He cares about the people doing it, because if the business plan does not work out, if the people are good, they can change it to make it work.
Warren Buffet, value investing, first priority when looking at an investment is the quality of the people running the business, second priority is the business model and third priority is if it is a good price. The quality of the people running a business comes first.
When looking for managers, Warren Buffet’s first priority is honesty and integrity, second priority is intelligence and third priority is if they are energised. If they are dishonest you want them to be stupid and lazy because they will be a destructive force in the business.
Warren Buffet will only trust about 2 percent of management teams, which is why he only invests in a business about once every 2 years, because he has to look at so many businesses to find this.
In football there are many teams, very very few teams become the top winning teams and only one can be the best. The top few teams get 90 percent of the money in the whole industry and the volume of fans. So an investor has to search far, wide and for a long period of time over the whole of the relevant industry to find that person and that is who they should invest in.
They need to find the best football players in the country to be the winning team.
Need to find the people that will cause the company to be the winning one. This is just like there are many football teams, but the one with the best players gets to the top of the league. Also even in the winning team, normally it is the best players in that team that make it win.
Ultimately you are investing in people, not in businesses, because it is people that determine the business.
It is the very small amount of people in a business, who will take responsibility, work late, change what they are doing for the needs of the business and put themselves out, that makes a business survive. If that small percentage of people leave, the business quickly dies.
Warren Buffet believes when the people in the business are weakest, investors are obsessed with command and control systems in the business because the staff are weak. If you have the best staff, you do to not want to limit them with command and control structures, because they will be better than you can you do not want to restrict them.
Jack Welch says managers have to have hire people who are more intelligent and brilliant than themselves. If he is with his board and all the others are not more intelligent and brilliant than him, then he has a big problem and is in trouble.
Good investors and managers normally put most of their time into finding the best people to run the business and then leaves them to get on with it.
If the investor spends too much time telling them what to do, it is normally because they are obsessed with power and then are not with letting them get on with getting results.
A business cannot afford to hire a less good person for charitable reasons, it will turn the business from a winner to a loser. It is important to do charity, if you would like to do it by hiring such people, do a separate organisation, because it will make a loss and it needs to be separated so you know what is going on. The strong must help the deserving poor.
Be slow to hire quick to fire. This is not as cruel as it sounds, it is very hard to find the best people and the winners, so it takes a long time. The worst thing is to hire somebody now because you really need them, or the hiring person is too lazy to search around, you will not get the best person. You hope the staff member will stay many years, so the fact it may take weeks, or many months to find them, is nothing relative to that. However once the candidate starts work, their actual performance and results will make it very evident if they are winners or loosers. Yes training can help and people should be helped all that is possible.
However once it gets to the point, that they are still not being the best, on average people are very very slow to change, if they do at all. So you need to be quick to fire. Companies make very low profit on turnover business is incredibly competitive you cannot afford to carry that weight.
Incentivising staff to find the best people.
Staff may hire people who are worse than themselves, so they are not a threat getting promoted to the job they want to be promoted to, or even their own job.
However a successful manager is only successful if you hires people more honest, intelligent and energised than themselves.
If staff are less good than the manager, the manager will be running around all the time sorting out their mistakes and deserves to fail.
Tactics to resolve this are.
Have different parts or divisions to the business, separate to what the manager is involved with. Make it clear that any successful people will be moved to that other part of the business, so they will not be a threat to that manager. Also the manager who initially found, trained and promoted that worker, will be credited financially and with honour for having found them.
Make the managers that find, train and promote people who qualify to run other branches, heroes of the business.
Reward managers financially and with honour, when they find great people. It could even be rewarding a junior regular worker for finding a friend of theirs to do a job. It could be a junior manager finding a more junior person who already works in the company for doing a more senior job.
The Bell curve
Normally 20% of the staff are the ones that keep a business going. If they leave the business is dead.
It is often the people who stay on working on and thinking about the business outside their shift hours.
People that love doing the business and care.
20% of the staff are secretly malevolent and do more harm than good and a manager has to get them out.
The middle 60% of people are okay and do a decent job but are not the ones the business depends on.
Often there is just one person who will genuinely take responsibilty and think, without that person the business will die. Very fortunate if more than one of those in a business.
Hiring people for whom what that business does, is their life’s vocation
There needs to be an entrepreneur in the business, who can see what makes money and ensure the business does that thing.
However for the product or service produced, the entrepreneur needs to hire people that produces that service or product.
The entrepreneur needs to hire people for whom producing that product or service is their actual vocation in life, not just what they do to make money.
So if it is a cleaning business, then cleaning is their life’s vocation.
Manufacturing cars for a car manufacturer.
It could be architecture, or whatever that business does.
Programming for a computer programmer.
Needs to be what is their life’s vocation and interest.
They are actually thinking about, writing notes, working out that thing, all the time, even in their spare time. This is because it is what they life’s purpose and interest is.
For example if it is cleaning, they love to clean their home, look at cleaning products, talk about, study and do cleaning in their spare time.
Passion
Emotions are energy, they are the fuel thst powers people. A person has to have passion for something to succeed at it.
If a person is inspired and passionate about something they can do it two says what would normally take weeks or months.
A person needs passion and enthusiasm to succeed, if they are just doing it for the money they will do as little as possible for what is needed to get it.
It is possible for a person to have morality and so their passion is to do the thing for God and for others, which is the highest thing.
Things to look for in people
Some people just have some of these traits, but they can build a business focused on them to be a success. They then need to have a business model suited to their traits. Then they delegate the bits they are less good at.
-Morals (this is essential for all people)
-Ambition (practically everyone stops growing their business once they have enough money to be comfortable. So need a person who wants to be top dog)
-Imagination, this is needed to create, find out and work out new ideas of what to do.
-Persistence
-Intelligence
-Bravery
Marcus Lemonis says ‘If you are going to have a successful business, need to have people on the team that actually love and care about it as much as you do.’
ready8 Business Leave a comment July 23, 2013 6 MinutesBody languageBasic conceptsSoftness and openess is being nice to someone. Soft is to be gentle, nice like it is going to be good and nice to things.
Hardness and being closed is being nasty to someone.
Spikey sharp features are to be hurtful to people, eg lifting top lip to show front top incisors. Also sharp movements.
Height is good and capable. High up is seen as good, right.
Low down is seen as bad, wrong, incapable.
(Please note with the voice, low can be seen as masculine and strong which is necessary for a man and situations where aggression is needed)
Open is to be nice and let people in, or giving of what have to others.
Closed is to block others from getting in, or from getting things from yourself. Closed is not giving things from yourself or giving things away.
Movement:
Jerky movements with fast starts and stops are aggressive. It can be from fear as that leads to aggression.
Soft, slow, gentle movements with gentle starts and finishes are seen and felt as benevolent.
Often a sign of intelligence is not to move at all, basically when there is no reason to. Moving excessively can be because are stressed, or just lack of ability to control ones body as are less intelligent and capable.
Implementation of those concepts
Facial expressions
A benevolent friendly face:
Wide open eyes
Soft muscles all over your face
Open mouth (but not too much)
High up cheek muscles, top of your eyelids. Also lift up your eyebrows a bit.
High up sides up of your mouth to make a smile. Do not want to especially lift up top centre of mouth where incisor teeth are, as these pointy sharp teeth are sign of aggression. A great smile needs the sides of the mouth to be really high up, after doing this for a while, the muscles at the side of the mouth really hurt, it takes time to be able to build up these muscles.
Stupid and boring face:
Top of eyelids dropped down like asleep
Eyes looking downwards
Mouth generally low and dropping downwards
Head dropping downwards like asleep
So it is basically things falling down, you are not lifting them up as like you are asleep.
Love:
A smile where the sides of a person’s mouth are really high up giving a huge grin, does not necessarily mean that a person is giving others’ love. It means the person is happy, which is not quite the same emotion.
A smile means that the person is happy and all is well. When used in the context of another person or thing, it means that they are well.
To give love a person needs to have the sides of their mouth raised, but doing it loads means the person is very happy, not that they are giving love.
Raise the top of your upper eyelids so it is like you are looking up to the person you are talking to.
This also creates openness of the eyes, so you are being open, soft with them, letting them in, letting your good energies and so on come out to them, being friendly and giving to them. attention.
Looking good:
Harmonious emotion.
Not expressions that contort the face, so a look of love is great, but a massive huge grin like a massive smile contorts the face.
Looking young:
Face:
•Things higher, so the mouth eyelids, eyebrows, cheek muscles higher.
•Softer so muscles relaxed, because age toughens things.
•Can move things with ease, quickly and with energy. This is because are younger so have more energy.
Body:
•Parts of the body higher as when get older, get weaker so carry parts of the •Body lower.
•Muscles soft.
•Move with ease, no straining especially as muscles are softer and easier.
•Move with energy, if you are older a person can only keep this up for so long.
Basically for looking younger, a person looks like they have more energy. So more energy is used up and an older person have to be careful.
Posture
Posture is very powerful, it expresses emotions, thoughts, relationshop to others, health, size, spirit, connection to God and all kinds of things.
For example a person standing straight and tall signifies they are at the top of the social hierarchy, in charge.
A person bent over, not standing straight denotes they might be a servant being told what to do.
This is because the person higher up is giving the orders, the person lower down is being told what to do.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment July 20, 2013 3 MinutesBeing good in bedWomen need to emotionally connected with a man before they open up ‘downstairs’. This needs loads of romance sing and courtship, taking her for dinner and being romantic.
A lady will have a stronger orgasm if the man has done loads of foreplay beforehand. The women’s orgasm actually stems from long forplay.
A man can get aroused an orgasm within a minute, a lady can take half an hour or more to get more and more aroused.
If a lady ever says that something tickles, such is when you kiss her neck. It is because she has not opened up to you yet, is feeling defensive so she goes all tight and to her it tickles when you do something. It is the same when going down to her ower regions as well.
It takes lots of courtship and time from the man, for her to feel comfortable with you, open up to and submit to you.
If the man manages to give the lady an orgasm, she will think that he is marvellous. The man must make sure he keep the romance going after orgasm, so he does not ruin that and she still thinks he is wonderful.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment July 20, 2013 1 MinuteHenry FordThings I learned from Henry Ford’s book ‘My Life and Work’. I have not quoted him, these are just how his ideas added to my understanding of the world.
Focus on service, not the reward. The work is what creates the results.
The principles of service are:
1. An absence of fear of the future and of veneration for the past. One
who fears the future, who fears failure, limits his activities. Failure
is only the opportunity more intelligently to begin again. There is no
disgrace in honest failure; there is disgrace in fearing to fail. What
is past is useful only as it suggests ways and means for progress.
2. A disregard of competition. Whoever does a thing best ought to be the
one to do it. It is criminal to try to get business away from another
man–criminal because one is then trying to lower for personal gain the
condition of one’s fellow man–to rule by force instead of by intelligence.
3. The putting of service before profit. Without a profit, business
cannot extend. There is nothing inherently wrong about making a profit.
Well-conducted business enterprise cannot fail to return a profit, but
profit must and inevitably will come as a reward for good service. It
cannot be the basis–it must be the result of service.
4. Manufacturing is not buying low and selling high. It is the process
of buying materials fairly and, with the smallest possible addition of
cost, transforming those materials into a consumable product and giving
it to the consumer. Gambling, speculating, and sharp dealing, tend only to clog this progression.
http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/7213/pg7213.txt
Business men believe that you could do anything by “financing” it. If
did not succeed on the first financing, then the idea was to
“refinance.” The process was simply sending good money after bad. In the majority of cases the failure was from bad management, so was just
paying poor managers to keep up their bad management a little longer.
The only foundation of real business is service.
Given a good idea to start with, it is better to concentrate on perfecting it, than hunting around for a new idea. One idea at a time is as much as anyone can handle.
Good to be selling something that is a universal necessity and that you can do in quantity.
No work which is something you are interested in, is hard.
Draw a plan and work out every detail on the plan before start to build. Otherwise lots of time wasted in makeshifts and finished article not have coherence. It will not be rightly proportioned.
Many inventors fail because they do not distinguish between planning and experimenting.
Most businesses conduct themselves by giving large attention to finances and smaller attention to service, but this is the reverse of the natural process that money comes from work and not before work. Profit is made from work, not from just putting money into things.
The pressing to make a short term profit on an “investment”–can lead to skimping of work and hence of service. It was the cause of low wages–for without well-directed work, high wages cannot be paid. If the whole attention
is not given to the work, it cannot be the first consideration and well directed. So counter productively it is the money and not the work that counted. It is illogical that money should be put ahead
of work, profit comes
from work. The desire seemed to be to find a short cut to money and
to pass over the obvious best route–which is through the work.
Most businesses indifferent to better methods of manufacture, as long as it got by and brought in money. So no reference for how greatly served public, just how much money got for it and no care if customer was satisfied.
If a man does his work well, the price he gets for that work, profits and financial matters will take care of themselves.
So a business should start small and build itself up out of its earnings. If there are no earnings then that is a signal that owner is wasting his time and does not belong in that
business. Some people want to do it faster by starting off with largest possible capitalisation, then sell all the stocks and bonds that they can. Whatever money left over after all the huge stock and bond-selling expenses and promoters, charges and all that, grudgingly goes into the foundation of the business. I could not see how a business could be expected to be able to charge into its product a great big bond interest.
The sale of the machine is only an
introduction. If the machine does not give service, then it is better
for the manufacturer if he never had the introduction, as worst of all advertisements is a a dissatisfied customer. Salesman on commission just see selling a car as the accomplishment and it does not matter what happens to the buyer after, as only paid only for what they sell. It is right on this point that he made the largest selling argument for the Ford. A man who buys a car is entitled to continuous use of that car, the success of the Ford car was that service was an outstanding element.
Need to have a long term view, short term financial aims breaks up service, because it looks to the immediate dollar, future business will be sacrificed for making money today.
The only use of money is to
buy tools to work with or the product of tools. Therefore money is worth
what it will help you to produce or buy and no more and that is how the rate of investment return should be worked out. Any return should come after it has produced, not before.
Many men in business feel that
their lot was hard–they work against a day when they might retire and
live on an income–get out of the strife. Life to them was a battle to
be ended as soon as possible. Life is not a battle except with our own
tendency to sag with the downpull of “getting settled.” If to petrify is
success all one has to do is to humour the lazy side of the mind but if
to grow is success, then one must wake up anew every morning and keep
awake all day.
Many great businesses become a ghost because someone thought they could be managed just as they were always managed. The management may have been excellent in its day, but it was alert in it’s day, not in slavish following of its yesterdays. Life is not a location, but a journey. Even the man who most feels himself “settled” is not settled–he is probably sagging back. Everything is in flux, and was meant to be. Life flows. We may live at the same number of the street, but it is never the same man who lives there.
Out of the delusion that life is a battle that may be lost by a false move, comes a great love for regularity. Men fall into the half-alive habit. People do not take up new more efficient production methods. Habit conduces to a certain inertia, and any disturbance of it affects the mind like trouble. Even if workmen might be taught to produce with less useless motion and fatigue,
it is opposed by the workmen themselves as it interferes with the well-worn grooves in which they have
become accustomed to move. Business men go down because they like the old way so well they cannot bring themselves to change. Men who do not know that yesterday is past, and who woke up this morning with their last year’s ideas. When a man begins to think that he has at last found his method, normally some part of him has gone to sleep. If a man thinks he is “fixed” for life, it indicates that the next jolt of the wheel of progress is going to fling him off.
There a great fear of being thought a fool by public opinion. It
is not a bad thing to be a fool for righteousness’ sake. The best
is that such fools usually live long enough to prove that they were not
fools–or the work they have begun lives long enough to prove they were
not foolish.
Time spent fighting competition is wasted, better off just doing the work. There are always enough people ready and anxious to buy, provided you supply what they want and at the proper price. Trying to get rid of competition to get more money for less work is always a bad idea. Whether it is collaboration between competitors to restrict supply and raise the price, trade unions and so on. Creating artificial monopolies is a waste of time, just focus on the work.
A man who runs a business, can never leave his business, he needs to think of it by day and dream of it by night. If just working work office hours, then will just be an employee accepting direction, not a director or manager of anything. A manual labourer must limit his hours, otherwise he will wear himself out. However if he intends to go forward and be a manager or director, the end of his shift must only be a signal to start thinking over the day’s work in order to discover how it might be done better.
(1) That finance is given a place ahead of work and therefore tends to
kill the work and destroy the fundamental of service.
(2) That thinking first of money instead of work brings on fear of
failure and this fear blocks every avenue of business–it makes a man
afraid of competition, of changing his methods, or of doing anything
which might change his condition.
(3) That the way is clear for any one who thinks first of service–of
doing the work in the best possible way.
Chapter 3
It is always possible to do a thing better the second time, so processes should be that people try and do something as many times as possible.
If in a hurry to obtain something to sell, a person does not take time for adequate preparation.
Should take one’s best selling article and concentrate on it. Then plan day and night and probably for years, first on something which will best suit the public and then on how it should be made. The exact processes
of manufacturing will develop of themselves. Then, if we shift the
manufacturing from the profit to the service basis, we shall have a real
business in which the profits will be all that any one could desire. All that has to be done in order to adopt it is to overcome the habit of grabbing at the nearest dollar as though it were the only dollar in the world.
It is impossible to get a product on which one may concentrate, unless an
unlimited amount of study is given beforehand. It is not just an
afternoon’s work.
Best to have just one model of car, if have more models, producer’s energies are scattered and it makes each one more expensive to make, so in total sell less units in total.
Once a car comes off production line, it should be given to testing staff to test it.
If you give attention to work and service, you will not need to strain your resources because they will increase more rapidly than you can devise ways and means of disposing of them.
To get good staff they must see the job as being stable.
Pay sales staff the very highest reward for service and then insist upon getting the highest service.
Chapter 4
Once a prosperous company, could easily have sat down and said: “Now we have arrived. Let us hold what we have got.”
When production reached one
hundred cars a day, he hoped before long to make a thousand a
day. The temptation to stop and hang on to what one has is quite natural. I
can entirely sympathize with the desire snd urge to quit a life of activity and
retire to a life of ease. He thinks that a man who retires ought
entirely to get out of a business. There is a disposition to retire and
retain control. Progress is merely as an invitation to do more–as an indication that have reached a place where might begin to perform a real service.
Study the competitions’ products, take them apart, see how they do things better. Then from what you have learned, see if you can push it further and do it even better.
Products have to be fool proof, so users if them cannot mess them up.
The less complex an article, the easier it is to make, the cheaper it may be sold, and therefore the greater number may be sold.
Any defect in service must be instantly and rigorously investigated, but when the suggestion is only as to style, one has to make sure it is not merely one person’s whim that does not reflect the other buyers who have not said anything.
People thought Ford’s large mass production factory would go wrong, only because of their failure to grasp that a principle rather than an individual was at work, and the principle was so simple that it seemed mysterious.
It was the application of modern mass production manufacturing methods that lowered the price and heightened the quality. Henry Ford just developed a discovery, or idea and this idea was the nucleus of the business.
An inventor or a thoughtful workman works out a new and better
way to serve some established human need; the idea commends itself, and
people want to avail themselves of it. In this way a single individual
may prove, through his idea or discovery, the nucleus of a business. But the creation of the body and bulk of that business is shared by everyone
who has anything to do with it.
No manufacturer can say: “I built this
business”–if he has required the help of thousands of men in building
it. It is a joint production. Everyone employed in it has contributed
something to it.
Chapter 5
Money is made from ideas that reduce the costs of production, or increases what can be sold for the same cost. All the little improvements add up to a lot.
It is the product that pays the wages, management that arranges the production so that the product may pay the wages. The employer only handles the money.
If unskilled workers do not learn their jobs within a few hours or days, they will never be of any use to the business. They need to be able to do enough work to pay the overhead charges on the floor space they occupy.
Two general principles in all operations to reduce costs and increase productivity:
that a man shall never have to take more than one step, if possibly it can be avoided.
no man need ever stoop over.
The principles of assembly are these:
(1) Place the tools and the men in the sequence of the operation so that
each component part shall travel the least possible distance while in
the process of finishing.
(2) Use work slides or some other form of carrier so that when a workman
completes his operation, he drops the part always in the same
place–which place must always be the most convenient place to his
hand–and if possible have gravity carry the part to the next workman
for his operation.
(3) Use sliding assembling lines by which the parts to be assembled are
delivered at convenient distances.
These principles enable the reduction of the necessity for thought on the part of the worker and reduction of his movements to a minimum. As nearly as possible he only he does one thing with only one movement.
The man who places a part does not fasten it–the part may not be fully
in place until after several operations later. The man who puts in a
bolt does not put on the nut; the man who puts on the nut does not
tighten it.
Try every new thing just a little at first, have to know absolutely that the new way is better before ripping out all of the old way.
The following enabled 3-4 times more production per worker.
1, making it so that if is an 84 stage production process to build an object, 84 workers each do one of the assembly processes.
2, raising level of production line so no one bends over.
3, then can speed up the line as a result.
A worker must not be hurried in his work–he must have every second necessary but not a single unnecessary second.
Dividing and subdividing operations, keeping the work in motion–those are the keynotes of production.
Unskilled people can be used as must only be skilled in exactly one operation, which the most stupid man can learn
within two days.
Every piece of work in the shops moves, the point is that there is no lifting or trucking of anything other than materials and these are brought to the line by transportation department on their vehicles.
If one man has failed to succeed with a new production method and everyone says it is impossible. Another man may well succeed. Maybe first person did not try again and again, know, or pay attention to the previous production figures.
None of our men are “experts.” Necessary to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert–because no one ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job. A man who knows a job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient he is. Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the “expert” state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
I refuse to recognise that there are impossibilities. I cannot discover
that any one knows enough about anything on this earth definitely to say
what is and what is not possible. The right kind of experience, the
right kind of technical training, ought to enlarge the mind and reduce
the number of impossibilities. It unfortunately does nothing of the
kind. Most technical training and the average of that which we call
experience, provide a record of previous failures and, instead of these
failures being taken for what they are worth, they are taken as absolute
bars to progress. If some man, calling himself an authority, says that
this or that cannot be done, then a horde of unthinking followers start
the chorus: “It can’t be done.”
Not a single operation is ever considered as being done in the best or
cheapest way.
Old processes like casting metal which have been done for hundreds or thousands of years, have accumulated many traditions which make improvements extraordinarily difficult to bring about.
Even a worker having to shift their feet when making something, can double how long it can take to do the job.
Every production line has inspectors at the end of it, even for example a small line for making pistons.
Foremen analyse every movement a person makes with stopwatch, to see how methods can be improved.
Every foot of space not used carries an overhead expense, we want none of that waste.
All the car parts are designed so that they can be most easily made.
Chapter 6
The hardest fight in bringing together a large number of people to do work is against excess organization and consequent red tape.
The hierarchy charts where a message from the bottom, has to go through every level until it gets to the top causes messages:
hugely slow speeds
incorrect degraded communications.
become gathered into a pound of criticisms, suggestions, and
comments.
the buck is passed to and fro and all responsibility is dodged by
individuals–following the lazy notion that two heads are better than
one.
People should just go directly to who they need to speak to, however high up that may be.
So must have no organization, no specific duties attaching to any position, no line of succession or of authority, very few titles, and no conferences. Only the clerical help that is absolutely required; no elaborate records of any kind, and
consequently no red tape.
We make the individual responsibility complete. People do not have their job roles defined, just their area, team they are in. Managers have team, floor, factory they are in charge of and so on.
No specific duties, all have jobs, but there are no limits to their jobs. People just go themselves to work in where they best fit. Every man has to know what is going on in his area of responsibility.
A group of men, wholly intent
upon getting work done, have no difficulty in seeing that the work is
done so it is not haphazard. The work controls people, not titles.
No titles and limits to a person’s authority means:
people not thinking about the limits of their authority, because they are thinking of titles.
bosses are fine if their staff go over their head, which makes them behave better as an injustice will be found out.
people not using them to get out of doing work.
not using them to look down on others.
not get people who are not real leaders, but have a title which is big cause of disatisfaction among workers.
Everybody acknowledges a real leader–a man who is fit to plan and command. And when you find a real leader who bears a title, you will have to inquire of someone else what his title is. He doesn’t boast about it.
Not the division of responsibility from titles, which leads to a removal of responsibility altogether. Where responsibility is broken up into many small bits and divided among many departments, each department under its own titular head, who in turn is surrounded by a group bearing their nice sub-titles, it is difficult to find any one who really feels responsible. People pass the buck, passing responsibility on saying not covered by their department. Every staff member, whatever his place, must feel that everything that happens
to come to his notice relating to the welfare of the business is his own
job.
Big source of personal dissatisfaction among men than the fact that the title-bearers are not always the real leaders. Everybody acknowledges a real leader–a man who is fit to plan and command. And when you find a real leader who bears a title, you will have to inquire of someone else what his title is. He doesn’t boast about it.
Must not tolerate is injustice of any kind. The moment a man starts to swell with authority, he looses that job, or goes back to a machine.
A large amount of labour unrest comes from the unjust exercise of authority by those in subordinate positions.
Offices and all that cause people to give up their time to office work and to wondering why did they not have a better office than some other fellow.
If a man does not desire to work, it is very unlikely that he will apply for a
position, for it is pretty well understood that a man in the Ford plant
works.
If men are unhampered and know that they are serving, they will always put all of mind and will into even the most trivial of tasks.
Work is our sanity, our self respect, our salvation.
Policy is to reduce price, extend operations and improve the product, the price reduction coming first. Believe that lowering price increases sales, so more people can have the item and more jobs. Would rather higher sales on lower margins than lower sales on higher margin.
No costs are fixed. First work out price that will get higher sales, then try and produce for that price. Do not worry about costs, new price forces costs down. If first take costs to determine the price, then people just produce it for that price. No one knows what the costs ought to be, have to name a price so low it forces everyone to the highest level of efficency. The low price makes everyone dig for profits. They make more discoveries about production and selling under this method than by any method of leisurely investigation.
Everything and everybody must produce or get out.
Get rid of every statistic and order blank that do not help in the production of a car. Do not want any done because they are interesting.
Can make things for an impossibly low price by eliminating waste, not by lowering wages or playing with financial concepts.
Everyone must be productive or get out, if person’s job no longer required, they are offered a different one in the company. Need to really bore into the business.
Producing more than one item leads to more departments and scattered production, which tends to be more wasteful. Best to produce a single product.
Need to watch efficiency of production, not just the money.
Lowering prices is a way to build the business.
Being economic and not using things is a waste, everything was given to us to use.
•People who limit how much they can have and enjoy become shrivelled, body and soul. They waste their body and the juices of life.
There is the waste of riotous living.
The waste of not doing anything and so rotting away.
Better to invest than save, then stuff is being used.
Waste is another term for misuse.
Use is positive, active, life giving, alive and adds to the sum of good.
Money has no more wealth than people put into it by production, can be so superstitiously worshipped as real wealth that destroys it’s value altogether.
Need a sound system built on service.
Nobody can get more out of life, than they can produce, but everyone thinks they can. Everyone wants more.
Is about people becoming self reliant and not dependent on charity.
Most people fail because they allow themselves to be beaten by the natural difficulties that attend any kind of effort. They say that they are beaten before having finished the task. So do not see if their vision will really work as they have not implemented it.
Most people fail as they not stick at it doing it, not because of lack of wisdom, brilliance, or money.
People see another person’s success at the same thing and it appears easy, when it was very very hard. Failure is easy to achieve and success is hard.
Be self sufficient, taking charity and being coddled is a drug.
Whatever fortune or misfortune happens to you, you are a man and be a man which means you can achieve things.
Being self employed will show you what you really are inside, both good bits and things need to work on.
Need managers who run a company on common sense and according to changing circumstances. The managers cannot do this if hampered by rules, laws, government regulation and having to go for counsel, as this is not how a business can be run.
Bankers and lawyers do not know how to run a company so be careful of what they inflict on it, especially from their self interest.
Need to focus on maximum service at minimum cost, then a business will make money and improve.
Often lots of money can be saved by paying outstanding and new legal claims at once and on the facts, which makes lawyer costs very low. Without that can end up with huge cost of employing loads of lawyers.
Also be aware of un necessary accounting and red tape, normally only one person is needed to do this work for a huge organisation. This with the reduction of lawyers, can reduce an organisation’s costs by 40%.
Everyone in the organisation must be of the mindset that it is a service and that sorts everything out in the business.
Any problems that customers have such as delays are criticisms of work and must be investigated, not defended by lawyers and so on.
The business needs to be run by practical people with practical experience in the industry. Not by bankers, people who are interested in procedure, or where interest is financial and not the practical work of that particular industry.
Throwing money at a badly run business, or management team is just fuelling it to continue going in that same way.
Businesses often do not see themselves as being there for serving the customers, but being there for the benefit of themselves. As a result they make jobs go round as many people, departments as possible and take as long as possible, so everyone gets a piece of the profit.
Get rid of all titles and offices unless required by law. Rigid organisation means messages have to go up certain lines of authority and no person expected to do anything without explicit orders from a superior.
Needs to be about personal responsibility and not the habit of waiting for orders, men must not be scared of taking responsibility because may get blamed if get it wrong. They should be blamed for not taking responsibility and initiative.
No overtime pay, if finishes job early then does something else. If works more time then takes time off at future day. No extra money for working over.
It is one of God’s compensations to withdraw prosperity from a business that does not serve.
Reducing the amount charging for the product or service, always means that get more business.
Should always be interested in every search for useful new knowledge.
Need a broad vision and understanding, be able to see past your area of knowledge and know that it cannot solve, or be the best solution for everything.
Do not recognise any limitations, or that anything is impossible. The ‘impossible’ is only stuff that do not yet have the knowledge to do.
It is about teaching people to be self sufficient, self supporting, learning to help themselves. Work on improving the people in the country, not the country itself. Then there can be the greatest and richest trading between parties.
Every person has a natural distinct strain of genius of which no other person can cheat it. Need to work from a person’s natural speciality and not grabbing things which promotes war. This must be done as a service, which will leads to universal self respect and peace.
( Henry Ford expressed this as countries, but i think it works for people as well)
Every person has a natural distinct strain of genius of which no other person can cheat it. Need to work from a person’s natural speciality and not grabbing things which promotes war. This must be done as a service, which will leads to universal self respect and peace.
( Henry Ford expressed this as countries, but i think it works for people as well)
Thinking is the hardest work anyone can do, which is probably the reason we have so few thinkers.
True education is gained through the discipline of life.
Great piles of knowledge in the head, is not the same as mental activity of finding things out for oneself, which is far more satisfying.
Past learning must not hinder future learning, thinking that we know it all. There is so much more for mankind to learn, knowledge to be gained, secrets yet to discover.
What can you do to help and heal the world is the real test, just gathering knowledge for it’s own sake is useless. A man may not be knowledgeable on everything, but when he is master of his own sphere, whatever it may be, he has won his degree, he has entered the realm of wisdom.
Bosses must do all they can to help their workers and that is part of being a well organised society. If a boss waits until they are compelled to help, they are a blind boss which are a disease and union leaders are the antedote.
Need to be wide awake to reorganise for efficient production
Honest enough to charge necessary costs and no more.
If company finds way to do job with one less person, such a company is normally enterprising enough to find a job for that tenth person, bound to grow and growth means more jobs.
A company that grows and creates more jobs and opportunities for people to make a good living, is one where every worker does a day’s work that they are proud of.
A well run company is always looking to lower costs to the public. So although that results in less people being needed for a production process, that kind of company will grow and so will create more jobs.
It is easier for lazy management to hire new people to do new work, than improve methods so existing people can be released to do it. This makes things less efficient and so goods more expensive to the consumer. Especially common when business is booming.
A person recognising that the absence of reason is never made good by the use of violence, will lead them to get from others prestige and respect of their opinions and desires.
Make no attempt to coddle workers, it is a give and take arrangement. More salery for workers results in them being supervised more.
Only deal with own workers and not outside union representatives.
Social spirit cannot be created from nice words, lectures, propoganda and bulletins which do nothing. Only acts, sincerely done of real things, that cost the management something and benefit all, do anything. Only this shows good intentions and builds respect.
A business that provides income for so many babies, children, parents, adults and so on is a sacred thing. Greater than the importance of any one person.
Employees want a boss they can trust to steer the business and not endanger their security. They do not judge him by his title, but the size of the payroll that comes to them from the activities of the business.
Harmony from a common purpose, honestly believed in and genuinely desired is good. Hiring workers just because they harmonise means there will be no progress, (he said it was because needs to be competition and thrust and counter thrust of real life. I think more positive if is that progress comes from people creating things and these creating people will always have differing opinions.)
People who are so soft and flabby, have to ‘have an atmosphere of good feeling’ and fail in business and as characters. They do not have enough mental and moral hardiness, like their bones are not strong enough to stand on their own two feet.
Be careful not to work with people because you like them, this does not mean they are the best at the job. The best at the job maybe someone you dislike.
Thinking things are ‘good enough’, hinders progress.
Be careful not to work with people because you like them, this does not mean they are the best at the job. The best at the job maybe someone you dislike.
Thinking things are ‘good enough’, hinders progress.
Having surplus stuff like excess money is pointless, a person can only live in 1 room at a time, eat same quantity and quality of food, be warmed by so much clothing.
However if has visions of service, to make an industrial desert bloom like a rose. Then work-a-day life, blossoms into fresh and enthusiastic human motives of higher character and human efficiency. Then money is like seeds which creates a rich harvest, which can be selfishly confined no more than the sun’s rays can.
Hoarding money does not give a person power.
Moving money from one class to another cannot cure the world’s ills.
Business is easy or hard, depending upon how skilled or lacking skill a person displays at production and distribution.
Business is there for service, not profit.
Most faults in business are caused by the moral constitution in business. Once ethics in business are universally recognised, it will be seen as one of the oldest and most useful of all the professions.
All that Ford did was to evidence by works, that service comes before profit and the sort of business that makes the world better for it’s presence is a noble profession. Success was earned by unremitting labour and faith in principle. It is impossible to avoid making a much larger profit, than if profit were the main object.
The new is always thought of as odd, some can never get over thinking that a new thing is odd and probably not right and shady.
Poverty cannot be abolished by formula, only by hard and intelligent work.
All their work is done by:
1, Not fear the future or venerate the past. One who fears the future, fears failure, then limits their activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again. No disgrace in honest failure, only disgrace in fearing to fail. The past is only useful as suggests ways and means for progress.
2, Disregard competition. Whoever does the thing the best, ought to be the one to do it. It is criminal to try and get business away from a fellow man, as then trying to for personal gain, lower the conditions of one’s fellow men, to rule by force instead of intelligence.
3, Putting service before profit. Without a profit, business cannot extend. There is nothing wrong about making a profit, well conducted business enterprises cannot help but make a profit, but profit must and inevitability will come from good service. Profit cannot be the basis, it must be the result of good service.
4, Manufacturing is not buying low and selling high. It is buying materials fairly and with the smallest possible additional cost, transforming those materials into a consumable product abd distributing it to the consumer. Gambling, speculating and sharp dealing only clog this progression.
It is the spirit behind it that matters most, a real desire to be of service from which follows production which is a service. Artificial rules and laws set up by finance and industry, break down frequently.
People so wrapped up with what they are doing, but need to look at reasons why doing them.
Henry Ford
Winning must come from improvement of product, excel at service, improve scientific methods of production. Must not come from damaging rivals and other parties, this benefits no one. The negative ways of trying to monopolise the market and crowd out others comes from a desire for money.
When the market collapses for an asset in your business, look for other markets that can use it. If demand for corn as food dries up, maybe can be used as fuel.
Interest collecting, credit controlling financiers own all the money and the machinery bough with it.
Advancement is not easy, the higher a person goes, the more responsibility and the harder the job. After a person has worked hard they have a right to and will get some comfortable and pleasant ease, but not before. Of course intelligent and tools should be used to make the job as easy as possible.
A man’s real work is what he is chosen to do by God (not other men), not what he chooses for himself to do.
People do not object, to work itself. They object to if a work is:
•so heavy it saps their strength
•drudgery and monotiny
A job may seem menial, but what matters is that it useful, respectable and honest.
Systems need to be tightened up, remove haphazard will of the individual. This is to reduce waste and losses due to mediocrity, to prevent an individual who does not care from doing their worst.
By making it necessary for a don’t care person to do better than they naturally would, it is for their benefit. They are better off financially, psychologically and physically. Also if those people were trusted to their own methods and speed of production, everyone would have lower saleries.
Must have great brains involved in every operation in the factory, these are not the people at the machine, but those working out the production techniques. Better brains means it is a better production technique, no system operates itself.
To get promoted a person has to do the routine work and still stay alive and alert. A growing company will have new job opportunities but need to be patient for when they come. Big businesses grow slowly and cautiously and the person needs to have shown that they are dependable and reliable. So even most ambitious person needs to allow time for things to happen.
The spirit of true service creates things for the creator, a person just has to do it sincerely.
ready8 Business Leave a comment July 11, 2013 27 MinutesWomens’ grudges against their boyfriendsAs genetically women are less strong than man, they have compensated for this by being more persistent. A woman will hold out far far longer than a man will.
If a woman want a man to jump out of a window, the man should just make sure he is on the ground floor, because eventually it will happen.
This goes on to an issue called the grudge list.
This grudge list, is a list of things that have annoyed the woman and that she thinks are unfair and eventually the man at some future time will pay for it.
Women like it to be that the man loves and support them as loves them so much, so spends all that time and money on them. Anything that does not go to towards this, is seen as a waste and so it goes on the grudge list.
They may be fine if a man does things that makes the man happy, but that is only to make the man happy in order to better self them. An example maybe a man going to watch football, it will make the man happy so she will be fine with this as a happier man will then be better at serving the woman.
However for example with present buying for the lady, let’s say a man spends money on something she does not want and the man should know better, she will be unhappy at this waste of stuff not going to her wants.
Examples of things that make you go on the grudge list:
The lady needs a laptop and may even ask for one. So the man spends £600 pounds on one, but she would have been fine with it £200 pound laptop, because most ladies don’t care about computers. Most ladies value and want pretty things like jewellery and so the man has wasted £400 pounds as it is what the man is interested in but not what she wanted.
People are never thankful for getting what they need, they are thankful for what they want. You may know they need it, but they will not be thankful if it is something they did not want.
2, If a man is watching television and asks his girlfriend if it is okay, the lady may say that it is okay, but it is not as she wants him to spend time with her. As women are not about for force and strength, they may not say that they are not okay with it, but will put it on grudge list for gently making the man pay for it later.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment July 10, 2013 2 MinutesEntrepreneurFind out what customer wants and deliver it quickly.
David Goldman founder of Sage software always demonstrated outstanding judgment in the face of surrounding skepticism. Whilst never underestimating the need for sound financial planning and the constant assessment of risk, David Goldman believed that being an entrepreneur meant constantly recognising and exploiting new opportunities.
Motivation for being an entrepreneur
1, Money: the person taking the risk is the person that owns the business. They get the profit from the entreprise.
2, Independence: the entrepreneur is often a person who would like to do what they think is right and should do. Not just be told what to do and have to do it, compromise what they want to do, because of what their boss says, hit management’s targets etc . The entrepreneur would like freedom to do what day would like to do and think they should do.
This can also be because the entrepreneur has certain talents, skills, reason to be and mission and they need this freedom to fulfil that. They need this freedom so they can be true to themselves.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment July 9, 2013 1 MinuteManagementService
A good manager serves staff all that they can, the manager is focused on creating and serving.
The manager also expects their staff to do the same.
It is a bit like how when are nice to other people, they are nice to you.
If a manager is nasty to people, they will want revenge on that manager which includes doing a bad job.
Treat people with love and respect.
Trusting, valuing and believing in people means that they can achieve a lot.
Often when go to a business and receive bad customer service from the staff, it is often because the managers were rude to the staff.
If the manager is nice to a person and they do not want to be nice back, then of course they are not the people should be employed and working with. The idea is that you do all you can for them and they do all they can for you.
This means the person really does do a good job, not that they smile to you sweetly, but are not actually great at the job.
It is all about giving and service to the staff.
The managers who are the best, are just nice to people because it is the right thing, not even expecting anything in return. This creates a real feeling, reality and depth to it all. This is about being nice in every way, including what gives and does, not just about what say to people.
Efficiency
You must be horrified by waste in the businesses, it could be too many people, how work is done, what is purchased etc.
It is best done by seeking the reduction of materials used in producing the finished product and the human effort.
Also inventory is a huge cost of any business where there is stock, so inventory should be seen as bad.
Waste is normally caused by not understanding what the businesses does and how it does it.
Bad performers
Bad performers lower moral, because good performers and those who work hard, see that person doing a bad performance and is getting away with it, so why should they work hard.
This can be people who just do not care, or are just not up to it and should be doing a different job at another place.
Also the best people care about being the places that do the best work, so their morale will be lowered by such behaviour and they may leave for a winning company.
It is even worse for a good person, if they have to continually do more work to sort out the mistakes a bad person has made and management does not recognised this.
It can be a hassle for the manager to get rid of this bad person, also if they are malevolent it can be even harder.
The manager may leave it because they’re getting away with it, but it will cause problems and especially other could staff to leave. It
It must be dealt with immediately and as soon as you do the team will improve.
Bullies
People must rise because they do a good job, not because they manage to push other people around.
A bully will quickly pollute the culture of an organisation like putting a small drop of red ink in water.
This needs the manager to be strong and get rid of this disease quickly, before it spreads and grows. Some other people will start to copy, or even follow this person, because bullies try to control other people and take over.
So left unchecked the bully will think they can get away with it and others will see that they are correct and follow them. The longer you let them get away with it, the longer you are teaching them that it is okay. Then it grows from being a small problem, to a very big one.
The best people will leave because they want to work in places that are nice to be in, where people get things from good performance and not from bullying others.
These good people can easily get jobs elsewhere because they are good.
The bullies will take over, the business will die, because it will have been destroyed by bad people.
Producing Great Products and Services
Producing great products and services is a great way of motivating staff. Management should help workers do great work with policies and training that help staff create great things that workers can be proud of.
This also helps attract the best staff, because they want to work in the best place that produces the best things, so they can show off what they make.
Good Managers
Help people all they can
Set an example
Give a vision and show the direction to go
Reward and punishment
Let people get on with it and give them as much freedom as possible so they can create.
communicate with staff and be aware what is going on.
Give staff information as the transparency gains trust. Also so they know what is really going on in the business. This is so they can be involved and act in accordance with what is really going on in the business.
The biggest one is to set an example, the effect of which over rides everything you may say to them.
Companies that achieve greatness
The Michelin guide looks for:
1st: quality
2nd: originality
3rd: consistency
This blogger advises:
For quality a person needs to spend loads of time doing just one product type and getting better and better at their trade. They never achieve perfection. Be constantly watchful of how it is produced and consumed, question everything.
For originality a person needs to be true to themselves and not just copy others, that is the only way.
Consistency is to ensure no one gets a bad service, but make sure do not pull down anything that is better than anything that less good to achieve this.
Situations where managers need to be tough
the customer will go elsewhere if they are not happy and so there is no confrontation for them. However the manager has to fire staff if they are not good enough and many staff will hate the manager for that.
Some staff will try and take over and the manager cannot let people do that by force and not by merit.
Staff may think the manager is wrong, but the manager is ultimately in charge, is meant to be the one who knows best and is ultimately responsible. So the manager must do what they believe is right. So the manager must be able to cope with people disagreeing with them. Part of making a choice means some people will disagree with him.
Training and education
A business cannot go anywhere unless it invests in talent. This is not just finding the best people, but also training them.
A business has the best staff because they are the best trained. This means they will have a real feel, ability, knowledge and understanding of the business and how to do it.
If a business just tries to hire staff from other companies that have been trained by other companies, as it does not want to do the training itself and does not train them itself. It always ends up being a business that never really gets big and prospers.
The great companies with worldwide reputations are those that customers really want to go to, are those that have amazing people because they are amazingly trained. An example would be Goldman Sachs, customers want to go to them because their staff are so amazingly trained.
Yes you may stay train staff and they leave, but there are risks and losses with any investment. However if a company wants to be great, it has to do this big investment.
By training staff how to run the business, they may steal the business model and do the same thing elsewhere, but without this training, there will be no business and so nothing to steal.
Other things
The best managers are leaders, not collaborators (although they still put a lot of time and energy into listening to other people).
Do not let things go, others may not want to change and do it, but a good manager does not let these things go to ensure the organisation is the best.
Need to be a good communicator.
Not too much of a strong opinion of themselves and ego, this distances them from their staff and from their customers. Never take yourself too seriously!
Aware of the way if the world today.
Essential to pay attention to detail.
Knowing what is going on in a business
Needs just 5 or less key performance indicators.
Also to measure how a staff member is doing needs 5 or less key performance indicators.
You can get more details which give more information, but then as it is more complicated:
● mistakes creep in
●the people who are meant to use the results cannot work it out, or be bothered to use them.
●people cannot create the reports and develop them as are so complicated
So need to get figures that really are central so are affected by all the other factors around them.
For example:
●How long average customer stays
●How happy customers are
●profit
●revenue growth
●bad debt level
Then if can add all the 5 figures into one figure, people can see with one number, how they are doing compared to other times and people.
This is essential to make business a fun game. There is little point playing bowling, if a sheet is in front of the pins cannot see them drop and get a score of how doing. Very hard and boring for a person to drive a car, if cannot see out of screen to see results of what happens when they turn the steering wheel.
Setting an example
A person can do or say whatever they like as a manager.
However if they themselves do the right thing, thers will do the right thing.
If the manager does the wrong thing, then it does not matter what they say, others will do the wrong thing.
When others would like to do the wrong thing, the manager can say what they do to themselves. Their own honest, decent and human example, done with humanity, is more powerful than anything else.
The manager needs to spend some of their time doing the job with the staff. This is so staff see how to do the job, they are not above doing the job, it is all about doing the job.
Stay calm
Stay calm, do not panic
I Know it’s hard sometimes, but when you are calm, the people you are managing feel more secure.
For employed staff, security and job security is a big thing, without this they will leave.
The more insecure staff feel, the more they panic and worry about their plight. Then their time, energy and focus is used up with this and they cannot so proper work with good judgement.
It also means that the person makes rational decisions, having really thought and investigated things. Not just reacted to things without thought or judgement.
Power
Many people when they get promoted get seduced by power, it goes to the heads. They become nasty and bullying. As a result they quickly have to be removed from their positions.
Just like in a prison, the staff under the manager want freedom and not to be controlled.
A manager should use their power over staff as little as possible. If a person has a manager that uses their power over them, it is not nice for the workers.
As a result the staff members will want to leave, also the revenge for them doing this leads to revenge and uses up goodwill with the worker.
The worker knows the manager can sack them, tell them what to do and there is no need to show it off.
As long as the lines have been drawn and the workers have been told as gently as possible from the beginning what the lines are and those lines are enforced if needed, then there is no need to go over it again.
So a manager should point the direction, standards needed, where needed show how it should be done and then leave them alone.
The manager should check the work and what they are doing, but as little as possible. This can often be done more by the manager offering the person a bit of help, doing the job with them, of course the manager will see what is going on at the same time.
This reduces how the manager is taking from the staff member, by checking their work wanting things from them. It makes it more that they are helping the staff member to do things.
Staff want freedom, but also to be protected. So if a manager gives them this, but makes a staff member accountable, then the staff can just get on with it.
Many managers give orders and push their weight around as they want the power.
It is nicer for a staff member if a manager asks them if they can please do something and the staff member has a choice. Of course the staff member knows if they do not do it, there is no job for them, but no need to emphasise what they already know.
Also most decisions do not really matter, so the manager can leave the decisions that do not matter to the staff. The manager just gets involved in the important ones, this means the manager sets the general direction. An example would be a decision for if the uniforms are red or blue, that does not really matter; but if staff may choose something where a customer is going to be ripped off and so the staff are going to choose the wrong choice, that does matter.
A good manager hires the best people, sets the underlying values, direction, industry etc. for a company. Then from those fundamental principles, the staff will know which direction to go in.
Getting the best decisions
A manager needs ‘every brain the game’, staff will see things that you do not. They will be right on things when the manager is wrong.
“Constructively debating tough issues and getting somewhere is only possible when people can speak their minds without fear of punishment.” Andy Grove.
For this to work, it needs to be that people discuss, debate and the idea that is right that wins.
It cannot be acceptable for a person to win an argument with aggression. Be it psychological, emotional, tone of voice etc.
this means that the most strong person wins, not the best idea. It will also put off more quiet people, shyer and those with less good communication skills from saying things and they can have the best ideas.
The head manager listens asks for and listens to all ideas.
The manager needs to really ask staff what they think, be fine with them disagreeing and not just do the idea because it is their own. The manager needs to choose the idea that is the best.
Respects each person’s opinion.
Knows that if everyone thinks the same thing, then each person is not honestly looking at things for themselves, thinking for themselves and saying what they really think.
At the end decides what they think is right.
The head manager admits he could have taken the wrong decision, he could be wrong and the people with the suggestion he currently thinks is wrong, could be right.
To do this the manager has to have the right intentions to just do the right thing and not just glorify themselves. This means not just wanting people to flatter him or her and be able to cope with the friction of people having ideas that are different or honestly thinking that the manager is wrong,
However of course the head manager has to make the final call as to what is done because they are responsible for the outcome.
The best manager listens to all views, but in the end takes responsibility for making the decision once has heard them all.
Ultimately what wins is not what staff think is best, but what the customer will buy and in reality is what will work.
The staff can think it is best to make a bridge out of paper instead of steel, does not mean that is the truth.
Treating like adults
A film director of the 1976 movie Bugsy Malone managed to get the 13 year old actors and actresses to produce the acting quality work of adults. He did this by treating them as adults.
Treat staff as children and they will behave like children.
Treat them like adults and they will behave like adults. If they cannot do that then they should not be employed by yourself.
It needs to be that staff are expected to take responsibility which is of course the adult thing to do. If the manager does not do this, then the staff will not and so will be behaving like children.
Impartial
Need to hire the people who perform best and are the most honest.
Need to get rid of people who do not work.
This must be totally separate to friends and family. This is especially a massive issue in businesses with friends and family in.
Need to be impartial to who is nice to you and sucks up to you.
Business is business and needs to be separate to those things.
Only by the best person getting to the top and being employed on merit, will a business be able to succeed.
The customer buys the best product and service and this is what enables the company to produce products and services.
Demonstrating power and authority
Staff staff know that you can sack them, they know you are the manager.
Showing this off with status symbols, bossing them around and so on may lift you up, but also makes them feel small.
So just being nice to people gets the best results and not just showing off and demonstrating that you are the boss.
There are managers who are weak and ineffective, because when someone does something wrong, they do not do anything about it such as disciplining the staff member or sacking them if needed. However this is about doing the right thing at the right time, not about being a nasty manager to people.
Getting the best people
In reality the businesses that do best of those with the best people, management is actually a secondary thing in just to make sure those people have not gone off the path.
The aim is to get the best people. Also those are people that also really want to do the work and so do not have to manage them.
It is a bit like in golf, how it needs the best player to win. If the person is not the best player, no systems or processes can change this.
Then once have someone really great, better than yourself. Should just get let them get on with it as otherwise you were getting in the way.
The only way to hire, is to find people better than yourself. If you are in a company meeting and are the smartest person in the room, then the company is in trouble.
As a manager, need to be that everybody else you hire in the team, is smarter than you.
The company only grows by each person having someone better than themselves
If each time a person hires someone else, hires someone less good than themselves as otherwise they feel threatened. The company shrinks in its capability each time it hires someone. Until the company is useless.
Steve Jobs said that A grade people, hire other A grade people.
B grade people, hire C grade people.
C grade people, hire C grade people.
As a result have to make sure only hire A grade people.
If a manager has useless people, they will be running around trying to sort out their mistakes. They deserve to be running around with everything falling apart, as they hide rubbish people.
The great manager has great people, so there is nothing left for them to do. These people are doing a better job than they can do.
It is very hard to find these people, they are about 1% of all workers. It is like how there arre many footballers in the world, but only a few of the winners. Your job is to find the best golfer of footballer in the world.
So manager needs to be traveling the world finding the best people and this is the biggest and most important use of their time. Just finding talent.
Most people want to do as little work as possible, so just finding people that actually want to work and create is hard.
High standards
A manager needs to set standards of being the best.
The manager needs to focus on the customer and giving them insanely great products and services.
This is what is the target that make staff focus on and be measured by.
In communications, communicate the customer. Most staff will just look at their own conditions and what they want, not on the customers.
On average staff will do as little as possible, so have to set the bar very high, So staff get up to that level, or have to leave.
So if staff produce something that is not insanely great and the winner for customers, the manager has to communicate this to them, that sadly it is not good enough.
This needs to be done nicely, but one of the biggest barriers stopping in manager from doing this, is wanting to be liked.
This is normally caused by the manager’s insecurity, wanting to be friends with people he or she works with, get love from them, or the biggest of all is vanity.
Vanity means that he or she wants people they manage, to think he is great and be loved by them.
People managers often think it’s because they care about the staff and want them to feel good, sadly it is often just vanity.
A company becomes a great place to work, that people want to work at because it produces great things. This is what attracts the A grade people to want to work there.
A grade people care about what is produced and created, so producing anything less than A grade means the company is not going to attract and retain those people.
People who are not A grade, just do not care about these things.
Examples of great managers
Carlos Tavares turned around PSA Group
It has Renault, Peugeot, Citroen and then took over Opal car company, from them having massive loss to the best profits in the industry.
He cut about half the number of models, by cutting the under performing ones.
Cut the many car platforms down to two.
Move the head office from the centre of Paris to 8 miles out into the suburbs to cut costs.
Got workers on side by saying it was not that they were not working hard enough, they working really hard. Went up the body shop manager and asked him how he is adding value and what is return on investment is. The body shop manager had no idea, but that’s how they got back on form.
Told the staff that they had to get back into the race and every day they are competing.
Unions appreciated they had to make job cuts from this, but losing money and there’s no other way to stay open.
Staff got a massive bonus when business doing better, so was no need for Union to do anything.
Different distinct car models from different brands going down same production line, one after the other.
Each team member has to go the extra mile.
ready8 Management Leave a comment July 5, 2013 16 MinutesMorals in making moneyThe producer depends for his prosperity on serving people, if this is not done then people will find out that you are just self serving, you will loose goodwill and the end will be in sight.
Greed is often caused by short termism.
Being greedy for money is the surest way not to get it, but when you serve for God which means you are doing it for others and the right thing, then money takes care of itself.
Money comes from service and the point of money is to put it into more service. It is not to be used for helping people to be idle.
You must do things better than others and try to pass these on with better products, higher wages, donations to charities or other such projects, lower priced products or whatever the world needs. This is so that managers, workers, purchasers and suppliers and everyone connected with you, are better off for you having existed. The business will exist because it deserves to.
So you need to win in the marketplace by doing the job better, so you deserve to be the one doing it. Must never do negative things to try and deprive other businesses of their income, unless it is in self defence because they started it, or will start it.
ready8 Business Leave a comment July 4, 2013 1 MinuteMarketingThere are always enough people ready and anxious to buy, provided you sell what they want at the right price. Of course what people want changes according to time and place.
Sage software founder Mr. Goldman attached enormous importance to marketing in its true form, rather than, as it is often misunderstood to be – a fancy name for sales and advertising. He would define it as identifying your customers, assessing their need for a product or service and delivering it to them in a timely, cost-effective and profitable manner.
Status
Far more than whether people like a product or service, they buy it because it is a status symbol. A product is made a status symbol because:
it is expensive and other people know it is expensive.
other high status people own one, so it is part of that person’s status that the buyer wishes to acquire.
People often not admit this and just say buy because they like the product or service, this is often a lie because they do not want to admit this.
Social Groups
Also a particular group of people may own such a car and so other people buy it as their way of joining that group. For example a particular car may be seen right for rock stars, criminals, architects and so on. Each type of person buys the car they think gains them entrance to that group, they have seen other people of that type and group owns that product or service.
So the purchase of a product or service is a social issue. It is for joining a certain group and gaining status in society.
Talents
An entrepreneur should run a business, where they themselves have talent and understanding of that business. For example there is no point in them running a technology, or fashion business, if they have no understanding, talent and interest in those things.
Everybody has a talent for something.
Delighting customers
Businesses with delighted customers grow remarkably quickly. This is because word-of-mouth from customers who are super happy from your service is huge and they really engage with the product or service.
Also staff get turned on by how delighted the customers are and it becomes part of the business’s culture to do it more.
Personal touches such as handwritten letters, personal conversations and meetings, low prices and many other things above and beyond what the customer will normally get from other places, will delight them.
Quality drives value, which creates profit margins
People will buy something because it gives them value, they are getting the most from what they spend.
So need to make sure there is quality in the product for what the customers pay. If the market segment is for cheapest price, then needs to be good quality for that low price.
So products are made from good materials, work well, with the best service for that price etc.
Once people get great value for what they spend, they will come back in future and that is where the profits are.
Also value means people will pay for it, more people will buy it, they may also pay more for it and that is where the profits margins are.
Getting demand for your product
‘Get loads of demand for your products, by making really good products. All the successful founders are a little too obsessed with making the product good. As they are fanatics, they do things customers do not even know about.
The people in the company need to care too much and then get details amazingly right. Then when a customer looks at the details it is amazing. Also the customers do not get problems which they will also then talk about to others.
They are fanatics about the product.’
a summary of stuff said by Paul Graham.
Entertaining and fun
Some products do not make it because they are boring and some products succeed because they are exciting and fun.
Even a really fun product like a music player, could be boring if it does not have great art, design, marketing, advertising, songs, decor, glamour, etc. as part of its marketing.
People will walk past the vegetable aisle in the supermarket as they see them as boring and go to the sweets, Coca Cola etc.
Most people have boring and dull lives and want to be entertained.
Why people can fail at marketing
An entrepreneur looks are what makes money.
They are not interested for their own sakes what it is, what it looks like, if it is beautiful, fun and so on.
An entrepreneur can quite happily change to doing something else, such as an entirely different business if that will make more money.
They are interested in if they will make money doing it. Their interest is in making money.
What to provide
The entrepreneur must look at what the customer wants, look at that in great detail.
Then as a second stage look at this apply to see if it can be done profitably. For example, customers may want steel, but if there are loads of companies out there supplying it, more than there is a demand for, it may not be profitable.
What stops company providing what customer wants
When an entrepreneur looks at the following first, they will not win, because they will not build what the customer wants.
1, what they themselves would like to and would enjoy building
2, how they would like to work and operate, because it is best for themselves
3, how they believe the world should work and what customers should be doing, even if customers do not want to do that.
These things do matter, or the entrepreneur will not be happy doing the job, but first the entrepreneur has to first win by giving the customers what they want. Otherwise the entrepreneur’s company will not exist because a rival company will do what customer’s want and the 3 things above will not happen at all.
When the entrepreneur looks are what they themselves would enjoy making and would like to make, it must not be something that they are completely bored by and have no interest in, or they will not be motivated what able to do it. However in the main they just make what makes money, then separately from the business in their own time, they make what they would enjoy to make.
If they start merging what makes money and what they would like to make into one product or service, these compromises mean it is neither a business that makes money and also ultimately not what they want to make. So the businessman must focus on making money, so that in their spare time they can make what they want to make and have their hobbies.
Pride of authorship which is a cause of this can creep in, in ways the entrepreneur may not see. If the entrepreneur is the person that created the logo for the branding and they want to have that because it is what they made. They are not impartial as they are proud of what they made. However as a business person have to do what makes money regardless if you made it.
People also treating a business like it is their baby causes similar problems. As they do what they can to look after the baby, which may not be providing the customer and aligning the business with what the customer wants.
So the businessman focuses on what makes money, not ostentation, showing off, getting credit for their work, showing off, etc.
You are selling solutions
When when people are looking for a product, they are are looking for the one that will solve their problem and they are most convinced it will do so.
Often a firm is selling different solutions that contains the same content and work in the same way. However customers are looking at the solution and what it will do for them.
I was working with a relatively large cleaning chemicals manufacturer that sells on their website everything from stone cleaner, general-purpose cleaner, car cleaner, and so on.
It’s all the same product in the bottle.
However, users want to have a product just for their precise situation. When they come to the site directly, they want to find and get the product, which is the exact type of cleaning they want.
They tried telling people it’s all the same products, and it did not work, that route would have let to them losing clients to rivals and going bankrupt.
Cleaning products have acid, alkaline, and non-ionic surfactants which reduce surface tension to break things like oil down. That’s it. They are all the same.
Cleaning materials can also have limescale removing component, aggravating bits in like Cif has, banking soda and disinfectant, also colors and fragrances to help sell them. However, that does not take away from the central concept.
People want what is specific to them, which is what niches and carving up sectors of a market is all about. They go to the answer that most exactly matches their situation and problem without having to extract a concept from one albeit very similar situation which also applies to theirs, as they will choose elsewhere for that which has already done this for them.
Which is why medicines with the same ingredients are often sold in different boxes, one box for each problem a customer may have.
People are buying solutions, whether it’s in the form of information, tools, services, products and so on.
A kitchen cleaning product is saying it is the solution for cleaning kitchens, not a list of its ingredients.
People will sell books on how to stop smoking, or how to lose weight.
A saying is ‘sell a good night’s sleep, not the mattress’
Steve Jobs says that Nike does not say about how good their trainers are in their ads, they honor great athletics and athletes.
You are selling people hopes and dreams
Whatever type of business or industry you are in, you are in the business of selling people hopes and dreams. That is how you sell and market products, it’s about the emotion.
Of all the things that happen in business and marketing, that’s the bit you can control.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment July 4, 2013 7 MinutesWhy younger women want older men1, Many women have told me that men still look sexually attractive when they are older, even men in their sixties and so on still look very attractive. Sadly most women do not look so sexually attractive when they get older and in that way do not age so well. This is an average though and not a hard and fast rule.
2, Men when they get older are more mature and experienced so know more about women, how to make them happy sexually in bed and how to do a relationship. Older men are also more mature and so adult for chatting about relationships, families and so on with.
In the elephant world the young lady elephants want the older male elephants to mate with, as they are more sexually experienced and know what they are doing. They know more than the young males that have no experience and do not know what they are doing. It is the male that leads so this is important to them.
3, Older men are more experienced so can look after them, younger men are more juvenile so cannot even look after themselves so well, let alone look after them. Some younger women find men their age immature company and people to be with. They can also behave like idiots.
Men generally take longer to become more grown up and women do this earlier, hence younger women often want an older man. Of course a man can still be juvenile when they are in their fifties so this is just an average.
4, Older men also tend to be more financially established and this does matter to them. Women do want powerful authoritative men, this is an aphrodisiac and older men often are more established in their careers and have this
5, For women who are under 40 so want to have a family, younger men tend to be less ready and mature to have a family. Women have a biological clock for when they can have children so do not want to waste their time. They find that younger men are good for fun as they have more energy, but no good for settling down and having a family.
6, Women do not want to go out with a man who is younger than them. They feel this man will not be more mature than them to be able to look after them and protect them.
7, Sadly money is a big thing for most women and if a man is rich they will go out with him even if he is much older although normally they still have to like him to some degree to do this.
Other things
If a lady feels that a man is much older so that socially they have nothing in common they also will not want to go out with him.
Of course when a woman gets much older they do not want an ‘old man’, who they will literally have to look after and will not be able to look after them.
Many women feel that if the man is much older than them, socially they will be too different to get on and relate to each other. Often the older man can choose to act and behave in a younger way, so the younger lady wants him. However this is quite a big life choice for the older man to do all the time he is with her. Also history is full of older man who died of heart attacks and so on, keeping up with their younger lady.
Be careful, just like a woman may date an older man for his money, they may just be with him for long enough to get a divorce settlement, even ensuring they have as many children as possible with him to ensure a great settlement and ongoing money.
Women, especially when nearer the age when it is harder for them to have children, will often marry a man that they are not attracted to, or know is the right match for them. They do this as they want to have children quickly before their time runs out, then will divorce him once they have had children.
Their second marriage after this where they do not want to have more children tends to be better, because they go out with the man who is right for them and not just because they want to have children quickly before their biological clock runs out.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment July 3, 2013 3 MinutesKnow yourselfThis is needed to progress, you need to see the truth of yourself and situation.
The biggest challenge is to just look and see yourself impartially.
A person tends to be partial by thinking that they are great and the best.
The hardest thing is to be honest with yourself, the ego will make all kinds of lies to cover up the bare bones and shame of what you really are. It is so hard to face and live with what you have done wrong and are doing wrong.
The ego seeks to think that we are great, it is how it gets pleasure that it seeks.
It does not want to think that we are rubbish, okay, no better than others or the rest of reality. It does not want to any criticism, even if it is constructive criticism and necessary truth about reality, it just sees it as an attack.
If we are told anything that disproves our view, belief or way of doing something. That view, belief ir way is us, so it is an atrack on ourself. So even if it is better that we are doing something in line with reality, it is still an attack on the ego.
The ego thinks that by seperating ourselves away from the rest of the world, we can be better than the rest of the world, but in truth we are one with all.
The ego will do anything not to change, including will lie to us to try and get us to think other things. It seeks pride and pleasure from thinking how great I am and what I have is. This is done by thinking we are better than others.
You have to look at yourself impartially.
You can look at yourself in the mirror, look at your eyes, face, body and so on.
For example if you are honest you may see a lonely man of despair about a certain failing in his life, just like the honesty you would see if you saw someone in a pub who does not know that anyone is looking at them and you do not really know.
When you chat with someone, they put their show on, which is their mask and that is their ego.
Try looking at yourself in the mirror, but instead of doing it out of vanity to con yourself into how great you are, or only dwelling on your good points. Do it to see the real.
Once you say ‘the real you’, it becomes ego and the selfish ego of saying how great you are comes in. Look at the real world, but not term it as you. It just is the one world as it is, without any regard for sides if I, mine, his, her’s.
Look in the mirror at your face as you would look at someone else that is not you, or in your team or group. The kind of person you do not get benefit from, so there is no I, my friend or my relationship which could make you hype up to yourself how great YOUR friend or person in YOUR team is.
Like a person you see across a room or at the other side of the street. Looking at the world as a whole, without reflection on I, mine and me territory.
The art is to put the energy at really looking at the world, not doing the ego stuff of thinking about I, me and mine !!!!!!
Most people are just dreaming about having things such as THEIR power, respect, attention, status, sex and money. Their only reason for being is the pleasure and joy they get from dreaming about such things. As a result they are not truly looking at reality.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment July 2, 2013 3 MinutesSocial skills (talking)When chatting with most people
To be successful chatting with other people, just be interested in the other person, listen to and watch them
They then think that they the are the ones talking, you are the one listening and so they feel they are the clever one and are in control.
People want to be noticed and acknowledged, they think about the clever things they have said and how they have been received. Not what other people have said.
Often they also want to compete and be the cleverest, funniest and so on person. If you compete with them and you are better than they are, they will feel different to you, inferior and hate you. If you are less good than them, they will not be able to relate to you and not find you interesting. So want to be as good as they are, to be a peer and a friend.
To be good socially, it is about letting the other person talk and acknowledging, respecting and having affection for how clever and brilliant they are.
If you talk about yourself, you are taking away from that and in relative terms they feel smaller.
When you get to that magic point where they are just talking about themselves and what they are interested in, then the other person will be happy and can go on and on, especially as they know about themselves and what they are interested in.
To help do this, you have to really listen to the other person to find out what they are really interested in, their passions and what makes them special. Then they can start talking about it and you can listen as you are interested. Also listening is important so that you can ask them questions to help this .
People are normally not interested in what other people have to say, such as for example what you have to say. Unless it is things about what other people have done, which shows how crap other people are and so in relative terms makes them feel better about how they are.
When most people talk about themselves and what they have done, it is normally to get attention and show how great they are.
If you just listen, do not say anything except ask questions because they think you are interested, impressed by them and what they have to say, people will think:
that you understand what they are saying, even if you do not. The fact that you are listening will mean they presume you understand. If what they are saying is complicated, they will even be impressed that you understand.
that you agree with them, and so like you because they think you have the same views and opinions as them, even if you do not.
People like people who they think have the same views as them because they think they are the like them. People hate and feel uncomfortable with people who they think have different views to them.
When chatting with advanced people
When chatting with an advanced person you will get the feeling that they are really genuinely interested in you. They are not talking about themselves and how great they are.
Advanced people want to learn, advance and progress. As a result they want to listen so that they can learn things and they know that them talking gets in the way of that. They want to listen to everybody, because even the biggest idiots every so often have something you can learn from.
Advanced people get what they need, do not go after more and do not want more. They need to be around other people, as humans are social animals who go crazy if we are by ourselves for too long. However they do not need to be the most respected and powerful so have no desire to talk a lot.
People tell other people things for power, they do this in a way that they are telling them or trying to persuade what to think or do.
People also want respect so they talk about how great they and their achievements are.
People also talk for attention.
Advanced people only need power, respect and attention if it is needed in the service of others.
Advanced people realise that as most people are normally blabbering things of little importance, only 1% of things need them to comment. Even then they can say it in one short sentence, because they understand what they are saying, so can put it presicely and consicely.
An example might be that a conversation on the colour of a jumper does not really matter, but a conversation on if some people are going to be honest with a good person does matter.
As other people want to do what they want to do and also like to have power The advanced person knows that the more times they use their influence by requesting for something different from what other people want, the more they are using up favours, so they know to only use that up when it matters.
Other things
To be social and people to like you, always talk quietly, speaking loudly is aggressive.
Speaking quietly is soft and lovely. People will like you for it.
A person may speak loudly because they want to use aggression to control the other person like giving aggressive orders to a dog. The recipient if this will not like this.
Being aggressive to get people to do things is not good, needs to be that you do things so they want to be with you.
Even when you do talk, make sure:
●the other person wants you to talk
●you are talking about what they are interested in and want to hear. Otherwise you are talking at someone, when as a companion you should be talking with them.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment July 1, 2013 4 MinutesRelationship with GodServing God
Walk humbly with God.
A person must serve god, serving god means a person ends up doing the right thing, because god cares about the whole universe and its evolution. So by serving God, a person is doing the right thing for all.
This means a person must listen to god and do what they are told.
Many people do not accept God, because it means taking on duty to do the right thing and responsibility, as that is what God is about.
Loving and respecting God is not just good for God, it also means that the person does what God wants them to do in the world. As they love and respect God, they do what God would like them to do.
So by a person loving and respecting god, it changes the person and their behaviour.
Prayer changes the person praying, it does not change God.
A person’s well being
A sufi once said that a person is closer to God, than their own jugular.
A person’s relationship with God at any moment determines how they are.
People can change in how good they are to God moment to moment.
If something goes well selfish people are happy with God.
If something bad happens to them, they are angry with God.
So selfish people often change how they are to God, depending on how they and their life changes. As a result their well being goes up and down every moment.
If they are angry with god then they and their life will be bad.
If God is happy with them then they will be happy and their life will be good.
If a person cares about God, for the sake of God and because they know that God is the right way for all. Then they will be good to God and love God whatever happens to them.
Being happy and well
When a person is doing good, they are spiritually on a higher level, so are closer to being with god and god happiness.
When a person is doing bad they are spiritually lower, so on the lower less happy levels further away from God and God’s happiness.
If a person loves God and doing good then God will love them and they will feel and receive that love. As a result that person will be happy and well.
If a person hates God and so is doing evil, then God will hate them. As a result that person will be sad, unwell and full of hate and despondency.
When God loves a person, everything goes well. This is an instant thing that happens instantly.
So a person will not be happy because they have something, it will be because they are doing good for God.
Being good and bad with God
Just like when doing a bad job for an employer, or can be good or bad with other people, a person can be good and bad with God.
Examples include:
Talking to God and not listening. Just like how a person can stupidly talk and not listen. God is the teacher and master, humans are the servants and students, so must listen.
Being nasty to God, because God is different to us. Just like racism, a person maybe bad to God because God is different from them.
Saying if God is not good to them, or if things fo not go well then they will be bad, hateful or disrespectful to God. A person must be good to, love and respect God, whatever happens to them.
Competing with God: trying to pull God down or mock God, to try and be better, or think are better than God.
A person should be thankful to God and not think they are entitled to things, or take them for granted.
Doing the right thing
A person should be concerned about what God thinks of them, if God approves of them and let that be the judge. Not what other people think of them and what they are doing.
So first be concerned and guided by what God thinks is right first, before what other people think.
As people are not as moral as God and cannot perceive so much. What God and sees to be correct, other people may see as wrong.
Is not about whether other people, love, hate, respect, disrepect, agree, disagree, approve or disprove with and of you. It is whether God does.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 30, 2013 3 MinutesAppleSimplicity, focus and relentlessness.
Creative visionaries abhor the day to day operational, administration stuff like supply chain logistics, product filfillment, customer support, inventory management, hardware manufacturing, channel sales and all those things. So they need someone else to do those things. The creative person comes up with new business ideas and needs someone else to organise those implementation things. There is no point the creative person doing those jobs that do not interest them, they need to search for the best person that is suited to that work and can do it instead.
Honesty and truthfulness wins the respect and confidence of fellow people.
Need to make incredibly great products.
People’s talents must define their jobs, not the job roles define the people.
Need designers with the artistic side of making technology beautiful.
Focus on details.
An effective operations ‘Mr Fix it’ person
must blend in
not accept no as an answer and that will terrify people.
not get flustered
expect huge detail from staff
do everything on spreadsheets on which you study every line before meetings. For example in the meeting you ask staff, what is the variance in column D, row 514? What is root cause of it? People are reprimanded if they do not know the answer to a question like that.
Do not accept excuses.
Do not accept reasons why people have not immediately gone to solve a problem once it became, or becomes apparent to them.
Leaders provide a vision of where the company is going, good operations people just get it done.
The recruiter travels all over the world to design schools, looking for the best designers to hire for their small 20 person design team.
Design team has particular energy and special momentum from learning stuff as a small group.
Design team goes to people from different industries and crafts to learn things. They meet masters so they can really understand materials, techniques and understand why things are done a certain way, so not just copying things.
The reason they do not do a lot of stuff, is that it is time consuming and demanding to do it fully and properly. They are persistent in saying no to things for that reason.
Great designer are often rubbish at running a design business, as they just want to focus on the craft of design.
Great user interfaces on computers have a simple design.
Intuition and empathy are great ways to deeply understand things from other people.
The top executives are product orientated, which means focused on producing great products, as opposed to being ‘deal guys’ where they are focused on negotiating and doing deals with suppliers and the companies who sell their products.
Apple is a tough place to work, newcomers face long odds of being around for long.
The people at the top have been at Apple for many years such as, the shortest executive is 12 years.
Steve Jobs has no time for people who are not brilliant, when people in the business see that a person gets little attention from Steve Jobs, it means that they are seen by Steve Jobs as a ‘bozo’ and people in the company know that this person has achieved ‘bozo status’ with the founder.
Does not care if a board member attends very few meetings, he just cares if they are good or not.
The precise words Apple uses to communicate it’s message are repeated so many times that everyone, internally and externally, can repeat them by heart.
Messages are simple and clear.
The trick with selling breakthrough products is to explain them clearly. They could of said the 1000’s of functions and features the Iphone has.They just said:
Revolutionary phone
Internet in your pocket
The best Ipod ever created
They highlighted what makes Iphone stand out, but only giving consumers as much as needed to get excited.
These 3 points were repeated on every communication.
The best message is clear, consice and repeated.
Do not change it because you are bored of saying it, for the people listening it is their first time hearing it.
Consumers then use the same wording to describe the product to their friends.
Sell products with stories, need to be a great story teller. The stories go from the top of the company, down the ranks and the company gets behind it. Then they go right out to the public.
Tell the story in a way that is repectful, helpful, friendly and not pushy. It is not about price, it is about product.
Telling customers not what they want to buy, but what kind of people they want to be. Lifestyle advertising, selling an image associated with the brand, rather than the product itself. Their adverts show people they admire, not the products. Selling an exciting lifestyle.
Then once they have people’s attention, they explain in minute and gorgeous detail what the products can do.
Pay close attention to how customers use it’s products and what use them for.
Huge spending on branding, marketing films and so on is worth it, because for Apple nothing is more valuable than the brand. 9 times out of 10 typical customer will not consciously notice the distinctions, but sum total of Apple’s obsessions including it’s image will not be lost on customers who intuitively appreciate Apple is a cut above. Eg. London Symphony Orchestra for iMovie music trailer.
Marketing is the cover of a book, products are the inside pages.
Apple employees practice product launch presentations for months, leaving nothing to chance.
Steve Jobs rehearses presentation dozens of times, so each relaxed statement comes off just right.
Big sign in marketing department says SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY with broad line drawn through first two SIMPLIFYS. This is to simplify products and how they deploy brand .
Products comes with Apple logo stickers, which people put on their on their paper notebooks, car bumpers, refrigerators and so on to display the brand.
Graphic design a stickler for detail and aesthetic integrity, for example coffee cup stain on poster must be actual coffee, not brown ink.
Only people who have spent lots of time in front of the press are allowed to speak to the press, these people must have learnt how to gracefully avoid answering unhelpful questions. The pr department ensures there are things people do not know. No one is allowed to speak to the press on behalf of Apple unless they are approved by the pr department, no matter how senior they are.
To ensure good public perception they go out of their way to win over top technology journalists who are influential, even including instantly going to their homes to repair and sort out any problems they may have with their Apple devices. Apple will take their side if they do not like a product and berate the people who created it for causing that. Apple’s un tarnished reputation is essential to them.
The everyday person needs products to be easy to use and not complex. Also must be technically superior and not bland.
The successful journalists are advocates for the average consumer and coming over like they are one too.
If Steve Jobs asks someone to do something, they will not have a good career with the company if they disappoint him.
Pleasing public figures by escalating their requests high up in the company and giving them top class service is essential image management.
Jobs insisted that staff do the impossible.
To promote products even ensured reporters for mainstream publications would would want to come to the showy events to reveal new products, not just the industry ones.
Need to envision world changing products even before they had been built.
The best organisations are intersects of art, science and business.
Steve jobs ‘organisations and people settle into ways of looking at the world and become satisfied with things. The world changes and keeps evolving and new potential arises, but people who are settled don’t see it. That is what gives start up companies their greatest advantage. The sedentary point of view is that of most large companies.
In addition to that, large companies do not usually have efficient communication paths from the people closest to some of these changes at the bottom of the company to the top of the company which are the people making the decisions…. Even in the case where part of the company does the right thing at the lower levels, usually the upper levels screw it up somehow.’
Start ups are normally more willing to try new things, change things and move into new areas.
I think that as long as humans don’t solve this human nature trait of sort of settling into a world view for a while, there will always be opportunity for young companies, young people to innovative, as it should be.
(I believe must not be satisfied with things for the needs and welfare of others, must not be selfish)
Need an easily repeatable marketing line, that perfectly captures the product’s capability. This may even be stuff that rival products can do at a lower price. eg. Ipod ‘a thousand songs in your pocket’. Also not about price, is about making customers want the product.
To ensure staff do great work and that you only keep on the best people, have high expectations.
Make it clear to rest of company when someone is a not brilliant. For example by not inviting them to the important meetings, or talking to them.
Build technology to change the world, not for technology’s sake.
Simplicity of design and attention to detail.
Hundreds of design iterations, mock ups and hours and hours and hours of talking even for just a close button on the side of a screen. Means cannot do a lot of things, but just have to do a few things really really well.
Base decisions on what best for product and so best for customer. Discourage employees from being distracted by pursuits that may help them, but not the company.
Products are at the core of everything they do.
Art, humanities, philosophy and so on are essential in product design and marketing.
Product design and marketing must create an emotional connection with consumers, it is an emotional issue.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 30, 2013 7 MinutesAdding value for the customer so making more moneyValue
Those who add value make money.
You have to work out what the customer really values, not what you think they value, or you value. You have to remove factors the customer does not want to pay extra for and find out what is profitable that they will pay extra for.
Being able to charge more for your product:
Examples could be:
•A money back satisfaction guarantee may get loads more sales.
This is because with it, the customers are happy to risk trying your service and it also shows your confidence and knowledge that it is good.
It should cost you very little. This may be because customers rarely claim it because you provide such a good service, you are keen to find out about things they are not happy with and sort them out, or the item is so cheap that customers do not bother to claim it.
They may even value the guarantee so much, they see the product as a luxury and will pay far far more for your product than the satisfaction guarantee costs you to do. For the wealthy customer, it really differentiates you and they will pay a much higher amount for your higher quality product.
• Price per job instead of hourly rate. Sometimes you will lose out, but on average over many customers you will make more, because of the larger amount you charge for taking you this risk for the customer.
• instant cancellation on contracts. Again you may lose out sometimes, but you are charging more for this service and a percentage of customers will pay far more for this service because of it. So will buy your service because they are not exposed to the risk of being locked into something they do not want.
You can sell both the contract with a longer cancellation period and the one with the shorter cancallation notice period for a higher price.
Being able to sell your product for less, so sales drastically increase and the customers even prefer your new product:
For example thick chips (french fries) may be more expensive to produce as they use more potato. However people may prefer thin ones as there is more surface area to create taste against the tongue, even though they use up more space in the packet so people get less potato. You can then charge less, as you need less ingredients and people will like your chips even more.
With a product or service, if you find out what the customers value, you can often shave off the things they do not value and sell the item for a much cheaper price. You may also find things the customer values, that you can sell for much more than they cost you.
This needs you to work out what the customer wants, not what you want to supply.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment June 29, 2013 2 MinutesBusiness (the long term)The best way to make money is to have very satisfied customers for so they stay in the long term.
The big money is made if you have a customer and they stay with you, then in 10 years time you are still making money from that customer. As have you paid off your advertising cost for getting that customer, 8 or 9 years ago, that is where in the long term the big money is made.
If you skimp on quality and do a less good job, you may think you will make a lot of money in the first few months, you never really do:
•they will not stay long enough for you to pay off your advertising to get those customers
• in a long time you will always be spending lots of money on advertising and doing the initial sales work to start that customer with you. Customers will not be staying long enough to pay off those costs
•eventually the bad word from dis satisfied customers will get around and no one will use you
• you will not have the all important satisfied customers, that will recommend your service to others. Also will have told other people how good you are, so when they see your advertising, they buy from you because they heard about how good you are from these other people.
• dissatisfied customers use up time and are frustrating and difficult for your staff to deal, so is the business can never function properly.
• if the company does great work, it will be respected and nice place to work. So you will be able to easily attract the best staff who will want to work there.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 29, 2013 1 MinuteBusiness (general)Work
It is the idea and it’s implementation that matters, if you think throwing money at something is the answer then you are dead.
Long term success
If you spend your time working out how to give less to the customer for the same amount of money, in the long term your business will die.
You need to work out how to give more to the customer for the same amount of money, or how to give the same to the customer for a cheaper price.
The only foundation of real business is service. The original sale is not when the sale is completed, that is just an introduction. If you do not give good service from this first sale then it would be better if you had never had this introduction at all, because the dis satisfied customer is the worst of all advertisements. People will tell many many people when they are unhappy with a service, far far more than when they are happy with one.
The real money is made when they return for more cars in the future, or refer a friend, both are sales without the advertising costs.
If you have a bad product, word will get around and eventually you will have a service that is not cost effective to try and sell.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 27, 2013 1 MinuteTaking risksCalculated risks
Before taking a business risk it needs to be calculated.
What is the upside?
If it goes wrong, willl you loose all of the investment or can it be sold for a smaller loss?
Will the investor be ‘rolling the dice’ many times so on average they should be okay if the odds are good?
For example:
A person buys a watch for $1
60% chance they will double their money.
40% chance it will not go well that they can sell it at a loss for 50 cents
The maths for this is:
$1 x 2 x 60% = 1.2
$1 divided 2 x 40% = 0.2
So the total is $1 and forty cents, which is of course more than $1 and so this risk is worth taking.
Bookies make money by the odds adding up to more than 100 and making a profit on that.
For example:
Three horses, for each one the bookie pays out double money on the payout if they are chosen and win.
Betty
Bobby
Sam
3 customers each bet $1 on a different horse.
So if a person bets on Betty and it wins then they get $2.
However the bookie received $1 per horse, so $3 in total so has made $1 profit.
If more people bet on a particular horse the payout goes down to ensure a profit is made whatever the situation.
This is also house insurance companies make money insuring risks.
A gambler is a person who takes a bet without having calculated all the odds, this is normally caused by:
greed
desperation
not having calculated the odds of winning for all the players in the game and adding them up.
Reasons people not take risks
People are scarred of being thought of as a fool, but it is better to be seen as a fool for righteousness’s sake.
You should always be ready to take a calculated risk, to succeed you must have courage and bravery with the risk of failure.
When there is something at stake the mind looses certainty, the bigger it is, the more uncertain they become. For example if they could loose lots of money if wrong, a person becomes uncertain and unsure, even with something really basic, that without that possible loss, they would be certain they know the answer to.
A physical example is walking along a thin path that is easy and normally would know could do, but if a 1000 metre drop beneath it, then less sure.
Having more at stake actually makes people’s performance get worse and not better, as they are so concerned and worried.
Employment and self employment
Most people are employed because they do not want to take a risk and would rather have to security of a steady salary. They may make less money as a result but have the security. This is similar to how people pay for insurance policies, they have less money but gain the security.
To attract and retain staff, they need to feel secure in their employment with you. If they feel insecure, they may take your customers, staff and intellectual property to start their own business. They may also go elsewhere for a job.
If someone is going to start their own business, they will probably steal your staff, customers and intellectual property. If they steal customers and staff, going to court and other things is rarely effective . If they steal your intellectual property, it is also very expensive to go to court. James Caan says it is best to encourage them and offer to help all you can with their new business, such as offer to invest in their business, use some of your staff, your systems and so on. This means they will want to keep on side with you because you are an asset to them. Also as it is their business, they will be highly motivated and your investment could make a lot of money.
How to make big money
The big money is made by people who take the risk, they can employ many people and make a profit from the work of all those people. However of course this is not for everyone as most people prefer security.
For example, as an accountant a person can earn $40 000 per year. For the security of being employed they are fine if the company employing them makes $5000 per year from their work.
So a company with 500 accountants will make $2 500 000 per year.
Big risks
To be successful a person has to take risks and try new things, otherwise they will be left behind by the others that do. Successful racing drivers often die because they try doing the corners at speed, from this they learn and get ahead. However they pay the price for their success with these risks, it is a choice they take. Those that do not take these risks do not get to the top because of the others that have.
Nothing to loose
The people who are most creative and come up with the best things, are often those that have nothing to lose. Without this they may not have taken such a risky path.
They are happy to try new things that may not work, because as they have nothing, they are not scared of it causing a loss to whatever they have. For example loosing their reputation is not a problem if they have done nothing better before which gained them one.
The person with a reputation can loose it, if the new thing performs less well. They will no longer be known for their last thing being a success, if they now do something which is a failure. As a result people may stick with the old thing, even if it will become out of date, not relevant to a changing world, improving world and not be the best it can be as they now have learned more and have new and better views and ideas.
The person with nothing can only gain, there is nothing that can be lost.
If it does not work, they have not lost anything and if it works they only have to gain.
Also having nothing, means they have nothing and want to have something. The person who already has something, does not have so much to be gained from trying.
If a person is unemployed they have only to gain by starting their own business, but an employed person risks their current income and security by trying something new.
The only way someone with previous successes can stay great, is by risking everything by trying out their new ideas and what they now think is best. This means risking everything.
How to take big risks
Do it in a way that is not in danger your existing activity. For example try with:
a new brand, so if it does not work does not in danger your existing one.
a new location when your existing business does not trade.
a different limited company/corporation, so it cannot affect your existing one.
Do the smallest possible test just to see if it works, you will never make any money from the test, it is purely to test if it works without the risk of damaging the old business. Once you have found that it works and the idea has been refined, it can be done on a big scale as you know it should work.
Stick to what you know
If a person sticks to what they know and who they know, they should not go for a walk.
A person may have a feel and experience for very few markets, but that is fine and they should stick with those industries. It is more important for a person to know what they do not know, than know what they do not know. Most people only know a very small area. This is because they know where their talents lye and are successful because they focus on just one thing.
Learning
When a person cannot do something, they have to learn. They have to try many times and will fail until they learn how to do it.
If a person only does things that they know they can do as have done it before, or already know know to do, then they are not learning and will not grow.
This is just like how a baby falls over when learning how to walk. Learning comes from practicing and repeated trying, not just from study.
“You can succeed only if you fail, and failure shouldn’t be seen as a black mark, it should be seen as a war wound. You’ve had a go, learnt from you mistakes, and now you’re going to try again.”; Dan Wagner, entrepreneur.
Many of the great and winning motor racing drivers die in car race crashes. The cautious ones are never so good and do not learn so much, so do not win the races. They take each corner more slowly and do not win. Of course a person has to decide how valuable the achievement is to them for them to take those risks.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 27, 2013 6 MinutesSocial skills (good energies)You need to be able to put people at ease
If you are a ease with yourself, at ease generally and at ease with them, then they will feel at ease as well.
If you are comfortable with yourself, then other people will too.
As all the world is one, how you are bleeds onto and effects others. So the discomfort of a person being uncomfortable with themselves, is uncomfortable to others to be around. As are other things like self loathing etc.
You also need to be full of good energies as that is what comes off you and onto other people.
If you go to a party by yourself and get stressed when you are there, your stress is something that people will not want and so people will want to stay away from you, so it is counter productive.
To be relaxed, chilled, loose, not tense, laid back and happy, full of joy, it has to be like everything is okay.
If you are stressed, anxious and worried by problems, then you will not be nice to be around. The unpleasant energies come off you onto them and so you will be annoying to be a round.
In social situations people want to have fun and enjoy themselves, they do not want to be stressed and working. When you are being social with somebody, they are joining you, being together with you, part of your world. If you are relaxed, laid back and having fun, they will want to join you being that.
If you are creating fun then people want to be with you, but most of all you need to actually be fun. If you are fun and are open so that other people can be part of it, then you are fun and people want to be with that.
If you are stressed, working, embarrassed, uncomfortable, having a hard time, they will not want to join you and be with you.
Also do not try too hard, if you are stressing and straining people will experience from you and get that energy coming over, which they will not like.
Also as your stress and more unpleasant energies go onto other people from you, other people will become stressed themselves and react badly to you, as they now have these unpleasant energies so will start to behave unpleasantly .
Also they will not want to be with you because they will get these unpleasant energies.
Also if a person has all these negative energies, other people have to sort them out. This uses a lot of the other person’s emotional energies and resources.
So it is important to be relaxed, happy and so on, in order to get the best results. People will naturally get these energies from you and will want to be with you to get them.
It goes further than this. All the world is one, so when one person becomes happy, other people do as well. When people are happier, they are nicer and kinder to other people. So if you are happy, other people around you will become happy and so will be nice to you. If you are happy, people around you will be happy, so will be nice to you.
To help do this:
serve the person you are talking to, if your energies are for other people, so they eminate and spread from you onto others. As it is for other people, then good energies will come down from above as it is for others
it must not be about what you want, selfishly wanting the other person’s company, that is taking, dark and heavy. It is about you serving the other person by you being good company for them.
by being a good moral person, a person will have good energies. If a person is evil, they will have bad ones.
Jim Carrey the comedian found that people want to be ‘Free from concern’, so in his act he is a person who is.
Anger, sadness etc.
If a person is angry and they smile at someone else. It will not matter that they have smiled physically. The fact that they are angry and have those energies, means the other person will get that anger and not want to be with them.
They are receiving anger from that first person, as they are receiving anger then they themselves will become more angry. Also they will not like that person as they are getting anger from them and out of revenge will be angry back for that.
If a person is sad, then other people also will not want to be with them as they are getting sadness from them. Also other people around them will be sad as they are getting sadness from this person.
If a person is happy and smiles at someone else, the other person cannot help but smile back and be happy. That person is receiving happiness from the first person, so will themselves become happy and will also like the first person for giving them that happiness energy.
It goes so far that if someone wants to attack you, if you are happy, that other person will be full of happiness. As they are then full of happiness they will not want to, or be able to attack you.
Happiness makes people generous and kind.
General
When people say that a person has a good heart, it refers to their feelings and emotions. So when you have good feelings and emotions like happiness, love and joy, be open so they can spill out onto other people. Then they can feel, enjoy and experience them.
This will also affect you physically in your mannerisms and expressions, so they will be able to see you have good feelings and emotions as well.
Ultimately to have good emotions and feelings, a person has to be a good giving person.
It’s like certain people have a flame of bringing people together and happiness, for that flame to grow and live they have to share it with others.
They are the people who regularly organize barbecues so their friends stay together.
Be true to yourself
Relax, then people will feel the same and like you. It is also far easier for you, as a result you will be happier, more comfortable and people will like you as they are getting these energies.
Be your natural self, true to yourself, people can then enjoy you as there is something really there and not a fake nothing.
By relaxing it lets the real inner you come out for others.
Adapting to people for their sake so they feel comfortable with you is good as it is for them. However pretending to that you are greater and better than you are and showing off is a selfish thing.
Trying to con people that you are greater and better than you are, is a huge amount of work and strain. It is also a deceit which is a very uncomfortable feeling. People will pick up this angst, strain and darkness a bd not like you for it.
Be at ease with yourself
To be a gentleman need to be at ease with your own skin and yourself.
Hemmingway ‘Nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man, true nobility is being superior to your former self.’
Look at the good things in life
There is a time for taking responsibility looking a life’s difficulties and problems. This is what I need to do in real life to solve problems and be effective.
This is stressful and not fun, so not for people to enjoy being with you. A person in social situations needs to look at the good things in life, because that is what people enjoy and have fun with.
Some people may enjoy if it is mocking others, but that is a different thing, as it is the enjoyment of putting others down. This can go down a dark path though.
Goodness and toxins:
Evil / toxins:
Badness and evil are not nice for other people to be around. They rub off on other people and so they will not want to be a person who is them.
Bad things are hateable and not likeable.
So if a person is those things, other people will not want to be around them.
Examples are narcissism, vanity, frustration, arrogance, lust for power etc. These are basically just some of the things that come from selfishness and so lead to sadness, did satisfaction etc.
Also this badness and evil will rub off on other people so they become insecure, selfish, sad and all the other things that come from selfishness and evil.
Goodness
If a person is goodness and so is good things, for example kindness and caring. People will want to be around that person.
These things also run of on others and so people will want to be around that person. People just get better and have these things from being around that person, eg. confidence, optimism etc. Other people succeed and just get better from being around that person.
Goodness and these good things are also lovable, so people will love and like a person who is them.
Basically by being good everything just works.
By being evil it does not.
Stress repels people
People do not want to be around people who are stressed. They do not want the negative energy and feeling.
So make sure you are calm as you can be and at ease when taking to people, as they will want to be around that energy. This also makes you open and able to feel other people’s energies which makes life lovely and good. You cannot do this if you are stressed and worried, as they are overaught by stress and worry.
Be calm, at ease, like everything is fine and nothing to worry about. To do this, focus on the positive and the things you can do, not the things you can’t.
It’s important you feel comfortable, people like to be around people who feel comfortable. If you start worrying about what people think of you and stuff like that, you will no longer feel comfortable.
If you don’t feel comfortable, people can’t enjoy whatever it is you are doing with them, whether it’s joking around or whatever.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment June 27, 2013 7 MinutesSocial skills (being seen as a nice person)People thinking that someone is a nice person is not the same as thinking they are a good person, as in morals etc.
Thinking someone is nice means that they like the person, because the person is nice to them.
Things that make a person seem nice
A nice person is thinking about others and not thinking about themselves.
As a result the person is nice to others.
This is best displayed a situation where you had a hard difficult time.
Anyone can be seen as a nice person when I had nothing to hurt and dusturb them. Also if they have everything they need.
If you have been put through a nasty situation, such as being ripped off and emotionally hurt by a bad person.
If you talk about how the person who did this to you is a nasty person and what they did to you, you look like a selfish person because you are just thinking about yourself.
So you are nice to everyone around you, because even with what you have been put through, you still think about the needs and welfare of others and not about yourself. This is because you are a nice person.
If you were a selfish person you would be so preoccupied with how you have been a treated, you would be concentrating on that and so would be angry and frustrated about that and not focused on being nice to other people.
If you are asked about the person, say favourable things about them.
Not putting your baggage onto others
If you are asked about it in social situations, when talking about it, you get angry, bitter and upset and cannot cope, just talking about yourself, your side and your own predicament. People would not want to be with you, because then they are sucked into supporting you and receiving your bitterness.
You are asking from them to bare and cope with your nastyness and hostility about this other person. They feel like they to have to be sympathetic and compassionate to you as you cannot cope.
So they feel like they are sucked into help you out as you cannot cope.
If when you are asked about it, you are coping, not winging about your own predicament, not thinking about and talking about your side.
So you are nice, happy, benevolent, unstressed, thinking about the needs and welfare of the person who ripped you off and trying to help them all you can, respectful and nice about the person who ripped you off, you are seen as a nice person.
You are not slagging off the person who ripped you off and not just talking about your own needs.
When people ask you about it, you are still nice about the person who ripped you off, able to be nice to people around you because you are not putting them through it and asking them for help, you are seen as a nice person.
If you need sympathy and compassion from other people due to your plight, then you are asking for things from others and they will not want to be with you. People want you to give them sympathy and compassion, not for you to have to ask for it from them.
Always talk about other people and their needs, not what you have and want for yourself.
How you are with people
You have to lift people up, make people think that you think they are incredible and special.
However be careful of doing flattery which is a sin. Flattery is saying that a thing about a person is great, when it is not, it is a bad point of theirs.
So focus on peoples’ points that are truly good, so you do not have to lie about someone by saying that their bad points are good points.
Then you are actually doing them a favour, as you are helping to enhance their good points.
People wanting others to think they are great
People seem nice if not have to prove themselves to others.
The desire and want of other people to think they are great and amazing, means they are actually taking.
They get stressed about wanting this so are less nice to to be around. All in all this makes people think they are less nice person.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment June 27, 2013 3 MinutesWisdomWisdom comes from the many years of experiencing things and being aware, awake and watchful when they happen.
Also of course listening to wise people, but it is the many years of experience that enables you to be able to quickly tell who is wise and who is unwise.
You need to understand things so they cannot control you.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 26, 2013 1 MinuteCaringYou need to care about people emotionally, it is an emotional thing caring about other people, not just physical, thinking, etc.
Sympathy, compassion, love etc. is an emotional thing.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 26, 2013 1 MinuteSellingThe basics of selling
Nice and friendly: they buy from you because you are the person they want to be with, you are the person they would like to go for a drink in the pub with and so on. It is like a social thing, like being a friend, they call you to buy the product instead of somebody else, because they enjoy your company.
Great sales people are good at making friends.
This means you need to have good social skills.
This is not about you taking control of the conversation, or being pushy in any way. This is about being nice to people so they enjoy and would like to come to you.
Promote the product: Showing them the good sides of the product, all of its features, advantages and benefits. Need to be enthusiastic about it.
Give them the information: just like people go to an experienced doctor because he can solve their problems, have great experience and knowledge. People come to you because you will be able to solve their problems related to what you do, have great knowledge and experience.
Believe in the product
To be able to sell something, you have you to:
– believe you are helping people by providing it.
– be excited, enthusiastic and passionate about it.
– believe in it.
– confident, or people will not believe in you.
Need passion and enthusiasm about a product or service to be able to sell it.
Everything is one, so if you believe in it they will too. If you do not believe in it, they will not either.
It’s a bit like how if a singer is interested in and loves what they’re doing, other people will as well. This is not from an ego point of view, they love the thing itself, it is that they love the thing they are doing.
Enthusiasm is infectious.
Confidence
If a person has total confidence in themselves, other people will have confidence in them as well.
Sales people can use self-confidence to make other people believe anything. For example, even an actor who can’t sing can use self-confidence to convince an audience that they can.
If you have total confidence in your ability to do something, other people will believe you can do it because of your confidence in it.
If a person has total confidence in what they are selling, other people will have confidence in what the sales person is selling as well.
It’s often found that someone who is very new selling a product and doesn’t even know a lot about the product or service, does very well selling a lot of them. They manage this because they’re very confident that the product is good, and that is enough to make it sell.
If the sales person does not have confidence in the product and themselves, how can the customer have any.
Studies have shown when when people decide which CEO to hire and how much it is worth paying them, they are affected more by the candidate’s confidence than their performance. The same with people on television who recommend which stocks you should buy, people judge them by their confidence, more than their past performance of picking winning or losing stocks. ‘If they are confident, they must be good’, they trust and believe that confidence.
There are sales people who have started out selling a product they are new with and so know little about. The sales person has lots of confidence, so sells lots of the product, even though they have little knowledge to say great things about it.
Confident that it is good, reliable,will do the job, it is great etc. Also that you are those things as well.
The best way to gain this confidence is by doing a good honest job, selling a product or service that does that as well and does what it claims, so it is all based on reality. Then by increasingly having the experience of you doing a good job and that the product of service does a good job, you will gain confidence in yourself and the product or service.
Steve Martin the comedian says people think that he is a confident person in his act, when he is actually not a confident person. This is because he acts like a confident person.
It’s an act, he’s acting.
Make friends with people
Make friends with people. People buy from people they like and trust.
Build relationships.
People buy by from people who are like them.
Build goodwill.
Have fun with it.
People want to buy from people they like. They want to have a nice experience and working with someone they like is important for that.
Then people will want to give you business and buy from you
People buy from people
People buy something because they believe in the person who is selling it and that makes them believe in the product.
If the sales person does not bother about their appearance, the unspoken message is ‘How on earth can they bother about anyone else?’. If they cannot look after themselves then how can they look after others.
Less experienced sales people often get obsessed with their catalogues, written materials and other documents. However a good salesperson knows that none of these really matter compared to if the customer likes and trusts them.
Customers buy from the salesperson if they like them and think that they are good. The catalogues, reading materials and so on mean relatively nothing to the customer, compared to if they like and trust the salesperson.
Once they like you, they will want to buy from you. Once they trust you as they feel they know you, they will believe that the product bus service is good.
If they like the salesperson, they will buy whatever product the salesperson has, including when they come back with other different products. They that product because they like the person. Buying is an emotional thing.
If the customer, looks like they are not going to buy. Maybe they will think about it or look around to see what else is on offer elsewhere. Just keep having a chat with them. It can be about the weather, cricket, life, children etc., nothing to do with the product. The customer will think you are not selling. However you are. You are building a personal relationship, they are getting to know you and so then they will trust you. Once this happens, they will buy from you as they will also trust you on what you are selling.
The salesperson also needs to seem like an expert who knows what is going on, is highly trained, knowledgeable, clever, capable and has been doing it for many years.
Motivation
For many cold calling sales people to motivate them, they need to have a mental image of what they are working for. To help this they may put a picture on their desk of what they are working for, an example may be a specific model of car they wish to buy in cash.
Service
People will buy because you are providing what they want. Therefore it is your job to find out what they want and serve them with it.
People buy because of the service, so it is your job as a person to serve as well and nicely as possible.
Do not make it that you are selling to them, make it that you are helping them.
The conversation is not about what you want, which is to sell them something. It is about you seeing if there is anything you can do for them.
Charming
Good manner and personality when meeting a client is what wins people over. After all they are unlikely to actually have an idea of how good you are until you have worked for them – if clients leave then it will be for good reason.
Smooth talkers get ahead. So to be smooth (soft) means not being hard on people. For most people this means need to say what clients want to hear and that normally means not confronting them by saying they are wrong.
A sales person also needs professional ability as that will be evident in the first interview.
Be an expert
Need to be able to answer the customer’s questions expertly and fully.
The customer is speaking to the sales person because they want information to learn about the product. So need to have good information, that is intelligent, to show you really are the best in the trade.
A bit like a person will go to the best doctor who has the best knowledge, information experience, treatments, can explain them.
This means the customer is best off speaking to the sales person and not another, because they will come out with the best, highest quality information and solutions for their needs.
General
A salesperson must not push, control or take things by force from the customer, in the long term it will stop them from returning.
The job of the salesperson is to understand the customers needs, some of which the customer may not even realise they have.
It is sales by seducing the customer, so they want to be with the sales person and want to buy the things from them.
It is about finding out what the customer wants so they want to come to you.
With enough passion, people will believe anything. So deliver the sales message with passion. However do not be aggressive.
People are drawn to happy, inspirational and uplifting people. That’s why people watch fitness videos and they’re done by people who are like that.
Enthusiasm
People will get enthusiastic about whatever you are enthusiastic about. So if it’s something they’re not interested in, they will get enthusiastic about it because enthusiasm is contagious. They will be interested in watching you do it and so on, because you’re so enthusiastic about it.
That’s why people in the industry they’re enthusiastic about do well, because they’re enthusiasm is infectious.
Make it personal
When does salesman is communicating with a customer. He or she has to think about that individual customer needs and wants.
It means that it is a personal thing for the customer. The salesperson is personally thinking, emotionally and physically there for, concerned about and serving that particular person.
Even if they serve loads of people each day. They look at each person individually as they care.
So the sales person’s responses are for that particular customer’s nature, needs and concerns.
This is totally different to a sales person using scripts or pre prepared sentences. It is a personal relationship where the salesperson cares about that individual human being.
The language that use is for that individual person and they are not saying the same thing to everyone. It is a personal relationship between two people.
Whether it is a cover letter for a cv, a public relations person approaching a journalist to try and get them to cover a story. They do not just send out the same letter to everyone. They think about each individual person their requirements and write to or call each person accordingly.
Of course in reality this is balanced out by how the sales person has done this many times before and so often does know which words to use and when to use them.
Being personal means genuinely open about yourself and your life. Being open and let people know about your personal life and you personally. This makes it personal and real.
Of course let the customer to talk and listen to them, because people like to be the one that talks. This is often because the customer likes to be in control and voice their opinions. A sales person that just talks about themselves and does not let others talk is irritating.
Trust
People are worried about not getting ripped off and want to be assured that they are getting the best. That is why people buy from where they have bought before, recommendations, friends and from brands they know and trust.
Once trust is gone, it is gone. If it does go wrong, take responsibility, fully apologise, be totally open about how you messed up. A good apology says sorry without any get out clauses and takes responsibility. Explain what went wrong, why, what you will do to ensure it does not happen again and how you will put things right.
Never lie, as once you are caught out the trust is gone, they do not believe you any more.
A sales person uses all they can to promote and create trust. Being totally open and transparent is a good start.
If there is a fact or product that the customer already knows is good and true. If the salesperson says something that conforms to that fact, then the customer will think that everything else they say is true as well.
For example, if the salesperson recommends a product that the customer already knows is good, the customer will think that everything else they recommend must be good as well.
Ask questions
Need to ask the customer what they want and what they are looking for.
The sales person needs to find as many ways as possible to ask and find this information out. Other ways of putting this maybe by saying ‘we will do whatever it takes to get the sale and your business, what do we have to do show and prove you to achieve this.
This is so the salesperson can supply what the customer wants, prove it does what they want and provide what they need.
The customer may say things that the sales person does not agree with, even think that the customer is wrong.
If the customer’s views differ with that the salesperson, the sales person may feel that their ego is being attacked because their product is being disrespected or the customer disagrees with them. The sales person needs to be focused on getting the sale, change things to fit the customers’ wants and not get pulled down by this useful information.
Demonstrating the product
The salesperson needs as many opportunities as possible, to demonstrate the product and service to the customer. Just talking about it may not be enough, they have to prove it.
This can be from as many angles as possible, First is showing the product and service, then other ways is showing how it is supplied and getting them to talk with existing customers.
Really getting to the places and environments that the customers will be using the product, so they can see how the product or service will work in a situations that they will be using it.
This means encouraging the customer to spend the time and effort to see these things.
It is very easy for the salesperson not to bother to encourage the customer to really do these things and so see for themselves how the product and service really does work. This is often because it is more work and hassle for the salesperson.
If people see and experience it, they will believe it.
Constantly find ways to demonstrate to the customer that the product or service works.
For example when Marcus Lemonis was selling cleaning materials to a hotel in the show ‘The Profit’, he went to one of their hotel room and cleaned it to show how well the cleaning products work.
When selling food to a buyer at a restaurant, the buyer thought that their customers would not buy those kind of foods. So in front of the restaurant’s food buyer, he went up to their customers and asked them to try the food. The buyer then saw that their customers liked and would buy it in their restaurants.
Find new ways to get the customer to try and see everything about the product or service.
Bad sales people
If a person is selfish, they just focus on what they want and not what the customer wants.
Signs of this are sales person believes in controlling the customer. They try to and wants to, control the customer, to get them to do what the sales person wants.
The customer will not want this dark controlling force, so will be repelled and not attracted to the sales person. So this will stop a customer from wanting to buy.
They selfishly want a sale, so they just look at their wants and not the customer. One consequence is they become aggressive with the customer as they just want to get what they want. However a good sales person makes it that the customer wants to buy from them, gives the customer what they wabt. So the customer buys as it is a pleasant experience for them and this aggression creates the opposite of that technique.
Be fun
If somebody is asking you awkward questions, the best way to make them give up is be really really boring. They’ll get so bored that they’ll stop.
This is of course the opposite of what you want to do for selling, be fun, be life of the party and people will want to be with you.
Do all the fun things whether it’s music, eating, telling jokes, having a laugh and so on. This is why companies do corporate entertainment.
Emotions
You have to be emotional about the product, why you love it so much and it means so much to you.
If the emotion and passions are there, people will think that it must be real.
Need to have powerful energy and emotions, then people will think it’s all real and genuine.
People go along with energies and emotions, not so much logic.
That’s why stories are really important for selling, they get people involved in the emotion.
Energy
People buy it because there’s lots of energy with what you’re saying, you do it with lots of energy. As there’s lots of energy it must be big, it must be brilliant.
It’s a big ball of brilliant amazing energy.
The energy is emotions, feelings, attitudes, and so on.
Excited
You have to be really excited about the product, then they will too.
You have to have the genuine emotion and feeling, you can’t fake it. People are moved by the actual emotion and feeling.
Without that they will find it all boring and uninteresting, so not want to engage with it and be involved.
All the paraphernalia of presentation and so on, such as graphics and so on, are about getting excited about the product.
All the hype that it is the most amazing thing ever. People are bored so they want something to dream abou, have fun with and get excited about.
The salesperson must think that the product is awesome, insanely great and be excited about it, then the customer will as well.
Use stories
You have to use stories as people are interested in and like stories. They also learn and believe the lessons from them.
A good story has to get people interested by something amazing and sensational happening. They then have to wonder what will happen next and how the problem of the story will resolve itself.
The solution to the problem in a story needs to be something that they couldn’t have predicted, then they feel they have really learned something and it was a good story.
A story is when there is a problem, how will it be resolved?
Excited about the product or service
You have to be excited about the product, people want to be excited by things and it to be exciting, or it is boring and uninteresting, so they move on to something else.
Marketing materials with flashy graphics and so on are to make the product exciting.
Massive energy
If you use massive energy, such as emotions and feelings, people can’t help but get carried along with it.
People want energy, they want that and will go towards it like a flower going towards the sun.
However be careful selling a product that is not right for them for moral reasons. Also they will go away and the next day realize the product is not right for them and cancel the product or service.
That’s why you need string energies and emotions. Not to push people, but to create good and positivity, that is what people go towards. They do not want to be pushed around.
You are seducing people.
Be authentic
To be authentic you also have to be yourself or people will see through things and it won’t work. They will feel uncomfortable, it just won’t be working and they won’t know why, but this is the reason.
Caring about the customer
Eric Barstow of Painting Business Pro quoted a very successful salesperson and teacher who said ‘When you care more about the customer than you care about the sale, you’ll sell more than anybody else out there.’
A successful salesperson truly puts the customer first, even if it means losing the sale. This is because by putting the customer first they build more trust.
It’s about having customers trust you and so building this trust changes everything. It’s about taking care of people, not chasing money.
You have to have that emotion and feeling of caring about others.
It must be that you genuinely care.
You will go to the full length of whatever’s needed to make sure the customer is happy.
You will ensure everything goes smoothly and sort everything out any problems that may come up delivering the service or product. Then you can truly look them in the eye and give them a promise.
So you can believe in yourself, then the customer can believe in you.
Happy people sell
People like to be around happy people, so they like to buy from happy people.
They think that if the person selling the product or service is happy, it must be good.
So use a happy voice, facial expression etc.
Cold calling sales call centre CEO Nev Wilshire gets his staff to dance to music before they make calls to get them in a happy place. Then people they call want to speak with them as they’re so happy.
People buy from people that they like
There are many occasions when a new salesperson goes out with little knowledge of the product, but sells really well as people like them.
So be nice to people, the kind of person that the customer would like to have as their own friend.
Don’t tell people they are wrong, they don’t like that.
Listen to what people want and agree.
Don’t try and change people, people don’t want you to try and change them.
Don’t change their worldview, people don’t want to change and be told they are wrong.
Give them information that they’ll find useful and really like.
Listen to the customer, people like to talk, even if it’s not relevant to the product.
Let the customer feel like they’re in control, don’t try and control them. People don’t like other people trying to control them. People also like to feel like they’re in control.
Don’t show off, say how great you are and how you are better than the customer. Of course you need to say how great the product or service is, but you’re not showing off about yourself for vanity or egotistical reasons. Talk about how great the customer is and how much you like things about them.
Be interested in the things that they are interested in. Let them talk about what they are interested in, such as their hobbies and so on.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 25, 2013 16 MinutesHow to change and why it is hardLoss
When you change, you have to give up the old way of doing things.
It is like:
-cutting out a part of yourself
-a part of yourself is dying
-giving up a child
-admitting that part of yourself is obsolete
-the humility that part of you is not petfect or right, which is harder to admit to yourself, than even to admit to others
It is very very hard.
The bits that need to go, want to be there, enjoy being there, will justify why they should be there, will not want to be kicked out, left behind and want to exist. They are having a home, a party and do not want to leave.
Even if the thing is bad, has caused a person trouble, or just is something they have outgrown and so need to leave behind, there is still a great sadness and loss when it goes.
Also you cannot know what something is truly like until you have done it, so it is repellent to people until after they have actually done it, or been there. It is like doing the unknown which is scary.
It is a risk and something as you have not experienced it. However even if you are sure it will work, the unknown and uncertainty is uncomfortable.
The ego likes routine, habits and traditions, changing and you feel unstable while you are making the transition.
You also feel like you do not exist, as the old thing going away, means the way you were doing was not permanent. So you realise that nothing below God is permanent as everything below God changes. So everything below God does not truly exist, as the universe itself is not permanent. Only God is permanent. The ego does not like this and will do all it can to regain control.
Especially hard are:
-Changing things things that you love having, but are no longer relevant to reality or a changing world.
-Things that affect your identity of how you see yourself.
-Also your identity of how others see you, especially if you are an extroverted person, or an ostentatious person that relies on this to ensure your own self worth as your own is so low.
The answer to change, is to focus in why it needs to be done and why it is is so hard.
The unknown
It is not possible to know what something is truly like, until one has done it oneself.
A bit like watching someone dive off high diving board, one cannot know what it is really like to do until one has done it oneself.
So to be able to change, one has to be able to face and become aware of the unknown.
The best remedy is to become aware of other people already doing these things, physically, their feelings, emotions, psyche, spirit and divinity. Really empathise with and be with them Then it is like you are one with them and become aware of what it is really like.
Momentum and inertia
The behaviour may be something the person has been doing for a long time, or all their lives life.
During this time the behaviour has been going along, building up speed, getting bigger. This is like a snowball building up more snow as it rolls down a hill, or a train building up to be bigger a bigger, getting more carriages and passengers as it goes along.
So if a person has been doing this behaviour for weeks, months, years, decades or even a lifetime it will be a huge thing.
It takes a huge amount of energy to divert or move such energy. For example to convert:
a huge amount of hate into love,
fear into courage
negative, bad, or useless behaviors into good ones
So it may take time, work and lots of energy to do this immense task.
Choice
It is actually possible to change instantly, in a second. Once a person has made the absolute choice to change then their behaviour and ways will change. This is the power of will and choice which is the first step before any action happens.
However the person has to have absolutely chosen to do this, with of course the implications of that choice.
Routines and habits
The ego likes routines, habits, customs and traditions.
It sees them as easy, comfortable and can remain a sleep while doing them. It is seen as safe because that is what one has always done. In reality it is not safe, because things change and then you have not changed to be able to d with deal with them.
When changing, we actually feel unstable until a new habit or routine is found. So the best way is to make change itself, what one does as a person.
Even if a routine is bringing a person great pain, they will still want to stay doing that routine.
A person can have issues such as being fat, having headaches, being angry and other big problems. They can be constantly trying to find a solution. In fact what caused the initial issue has gone, they no longer have the original cause of the problem. The only thing that remains is that they are stuck in the habit.
The aim is to discover all the good routines one has learned, get rid of useless ones and keep the good ones.
Routines are needed to do the basic everyday automatic things like to drive a car, then one watches these routines to change and sort them out if needed. It would be over the top for a person’s higher functions to be wasting their time on doing things like this all the time. If there is a problem with these basic things, then one wakes up and sorts out the more urgent and important situations. The higher parts of the mind then normally focuses on more important things.
How to change
Need to change how think, act and feel.
For example, just doing one of these will not be a real change, a person cannot just think about change, also has to do it.
There are three types of people, thinkers, feelers and action people.
For a thinking person, pondering and thinking about it is helpful and helps cause change, but to make it actually happen have to also concentrate on doing it in reality
The real world
A person can consider a situation and a talent, but it is only if the person is in that situation that they can really work on it and themselves.
A jewel thief has to be next to jewels to see and work on if they tempted to take them. Being in a room away from jewels does not mean anything for their real character.
It is good to meditate and ponder about not being tempted, but real world exposure is the only real world reality. However people often do not do this because they are scarred.
Comfortable with what done before
People are comfortable with what they have always done before. As they have done it before, they know it well.
They will continue with it even if it is something that has brought them great pain and suffering. They will also continue even if they know this thing is bringing them great pain and suffering.
Freedom
Not changing is being restricted as locked on the old way and not changing.
When free to change is like being unlocked, the person is then free to do as they choose.
That freedom means can do anywhere and do anything.
This is huge as the universe, time and all the spiritual levels are so big.
Some people are scared by that and feel safer in their cage of habits and traditions.
Pride and Ego
Changing your mind
People who are intelligent and use their minds, change their mind, views and belief a lot.
As they go in a direction they find some or all of the things do not work, they see new things etc.
They are actually looking and thinking for what is real and true. Not just looking at ways to justify and prove that they are right and others are wring
If they have honesty and integrity, they will care about doing the correct thing. Also if they are clever and use their minds, they will realise that changing their mind is a sign of intelligence, they are actually using their mind.
However ego and pride, can mean they do not want to admit to having been wrong.
This may mean they do not want to admit themselves that they were wrong before, because of the pain, humiliation, embarrassment and heart break in front of themselves.
It can also be in front of others, because of the dishonour and disrespect from negative people saying they were wrong. People may think they look bad for being wrong. The desire to save face and not look bad, can be greater than the desire to make the right call. (Jason Fried & David Heinemeir Hanson book called Rework)
If the person says this in true modesty, they are thinking, looking and learn new things, so change their mind. Intelligent and benevolent should accept and respect that they have changed their mind. However negative people who do not do anything themselves, will use it as an excuse to put them down.
So lower things can stop a person from changing their mind, because they do not want to admit to having been wrong.
Of course the positive is that they hopefully have something better, they are moving learning and progressing.
To learn a person also has to appreciate that relative to the universe and reality, they know nothing. Without this they will never learn anything.
Ego
The ego wants to exist.
The way it does this is with routines, habits, customs and traditions.
The ego wants to keep these things going so it can exist.
Routines, habits, customs and traditions are a large part of what the ego is.
As people we need the ego to exist, but it must be kept in it’s place by the higher parts of ourselves, so it does not take over everything.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment June 19, 2013 7 MinutesAttracting womenFundamentally
These are the most fundamental things from which a lot of the things below come from.
Women want:
A man who makes them feel good and beautiful, a lover.
Love is very important. The man loving them, makes them feel good and beautiful. The man does things for them because he loves them, because she is so wonderful.
The king of the jungle. Like the lion is the king of the jungle.
Anthropology
In anthroplogy, in the hurd girls want protection, gifts and elevation of social status.
Confidence
It is important that the man is confident that they are attractive.
If they believe they are attractive, the girls they are trying to attract will believe so too.
If the man not does not believe that he is attractive, other people will think they are not attractive.
If a man thinks that he is attractive, then others will also think that he is attractive.
Also a man cannot do and be masculine if he is not confident, as that is needed to be masculine. Confidence is needed to go ahead and do things effectively, fully and properly.
It’s a bit like in dancing where the woman wants the man to lead. However he can only do that if he is confident so can really hold the woman and so on.
The woman wants it to be though, that when the man does lead, he does it nicely as he cares about them. He is not pushy, nasty or controlling to them.
Also if person has self esteem then they are not so worried about other people think and so to dependent on them.
The man needs to be confident so that he can:
get out there
be masculine
chase after the women
do things to his fullest without pulling back
show them himself well
Ultimately women find confidence in a man very sexy and attractive.
If the man is shy he cannot for example, put his arm around a lady like a man would. If he is shy so he for example backs off when being with a woman, it is not masculine and so not attractive to women.
A man who is confident in himself and what he can do. The man must be totally and utterly confident, without any doubt, fear or worry in any way shape or form that he can do it.
If a man is insecure they also cannot be sexually attractive. This means they are subject to fears, doubts, are uneasy and anxious. They must be self confident and assured.
However of course it is a balance like anything, because a person needs to know the truth about themselves, otherwise they loose touch with reality.
Power
Women are attracted to powerful men:
-a lawyer in a big important company, doing big important cases
-a dj with a massive following who has a large audience watching him
-a man in charge of a large staff.
The man needs to have great presentation and put themselves over as a powerful man.
To be powerful, a man has to be confident.
This can attract women like a moth to a flame.
Women want to be ‘swept off their feet’ by a man, the more powerful that man is, the more they feel that the man can do that. This is strong physically, psychologically and emotionally
A woman wants a man who will cherish them and be worthy of their affections.
Attracting a women: women want a man with authority, a dominant man who is in control.
They want the man to be in charge, in charge of things in life and able to be in charge in their relationship. This is the masculine principle, the man plans the date, the positions during sex etc. However of course the woman gives her consent and is soft and nurturing which is the feminine side.
Successful women seductresses make their men feel good, listen to their men and then have sex with them.
Who women see as the best man to mate with
If a man is beyond handsome… electrifyingly gorgeous, he comes across as self-assured, confident, in control, ambitious. From a good family such as his mother is a top doctor, his father a successful attorney. He’s wealthy beyond imagination and his wealth was largely of his own making, a real go-getter type of man, the kind of person who gets things done. If his character had existed back in prehistoric times, this would have been the caveman who knew how to hunt, bring his kill back for his family and would have protected his family fearlessly from all dangers. This aspect speaks to the primal sense of finding the best mate to create and protect a family.
The best male also means that genetically their children will be the best offspring. So if a lady wants her children to have certain aspects, she will ensure that man she is going to mate with, has those aspects to ensure her children have them.
Women do you want a rich mate, but if you do not have money, ambition is also important. Ambition means the man will make money even, if they do not right now. Women want it to be that if they are going to get pregnant, their man will provide for them and not just sit on the sofa, so they will have to look after like them like they are another son.
Using a nature analogy, women want their man to be the king of the jungle, the lion. They do not want the mouse. So the man must be the strongest, cleverest, most powerful, courageous, bravest and so on. Even if the man has the first three of the previous sentence, in reality he cannot be anything without courage and bravery.
Women want to be with you alpha male, this is the a man with the dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations. They do not want the beta male who is a secondary person lower down in the hierarchy.
To be an alpha male the lady knows that has to be ambitious, as this means they will be driven to succeed and be number 1. so a man who spends time lying on the sofa watching television and not being the best he can be, will not be attractive.
Being scarred, embarrassed, intimidated by anything, or weak, stops a man from being or looking like an alpha male.
Women want a man who is strong and with a beta male the woman may end up telling him what to do and that is no fun for them.
Commitment
Women are very very wary about having a man who wants to be with them and only them.
Women feel that the love only builds when the man is only interested them and no one else.
Women want to have a long term relationship with the man, so the man must not want any other lady and the man must love them.
Getting commitment is a big thing for women, marriage is also a big thing for them and the security that a man has committed to them.
Genetically and on an animal level, men would like to impregnate as many women as possible. So once they are sure they have planted their seed the female is less interesting and they would like to move on. Women are very wary of this and so the man has to prove that is not the case.
However when a lady gets pregnant she needs the man to hunt, provide for, fight for her while pregnant, delivering the baby and, when the child is being brought up and for her generally. That is why a wiman wants to know that the man is committed to providing for her, will put her first, spend all his time on her and the child and also will never leave them.
They know that they must cover up from the man in the early days of the relationship, how very worried they are about this, or they will scare the man away.
If a woman has a man cheat on them, it seriously ruins their confidence. If the man has sex with someone else it means the girl is not special. It is also really hard for them to get over being hurt like that.
So when on a date the lady will want it to be that you only want to chat with them, not the waiter, other people or anyone else even for a chat . You just want to be and chat with them and not look at anything or anyone else.
This can be the same for weekends away and so on. There maybe other people on a nearby table the man would like to chat with socially, but the woman may want it to be that the man only wants to chat with her.
What women want
Women want a real man, that means someone who can handle and cope with a sensual, confident and self assured woman.
An emotionally strong, confident, man who is secure in who he is.
He cares about her, asks how her day is going, asks if she would like a bubble bath and so on.
Successful high powered career women find it very difficult to find a man, because it has to be a man who is very secure in who he is.
Love
This is probably the most important thing for a woman. Woman look for true love, they check to ensure it is true, because so many men will pretend to be in love with a girl to sleep with her, but they are not in love with her.
Women want a man who makes them feel good and beautiful, a lover.
Women want a man who loves them, it is really important to them. Things that will help guide a man with this are:
nothing is too much trouble. The man will do anything for them as he loves the lady so much
the man who knows what the lady would like because he loves her so much. So she does not have to ask him for anything, he just knows as he loves and cares about her so much.
The man is there to do whatever she needs, when she needs things, however she needs them.
Spending a lot of time with a lady is a sign for them that you love them.
Women want it that a man will fight for them to protect them, defend their honour and so on. A man who is a hero. However the big reason they want a man to do this for them, is that it shows that the man really loves them.
Women want a man who loves them and that is a big deal. It is emotional and makes them go ‘ahhhhhh’ in a good way.
Women want a man who can give a lot of love.
A man who is devoted to the lady, gives a lot of devotion to that lady, only to that lady.
Women are emotional, they want to fall in love, have someone they can give their heart to. However as they do not want to be hurt and they can be hurt when they give their heart to someone. They are very careful about the man they do this with, really want to know him well and be able to trust that he will not hurt them by leaving them.
Whereas men are more about having sex, women ultimately want to fall in love. To help this process the man has to love the lady.
Wheras men seek sex, women seek love and affirmation.
With sex, men want to put their seed inside a woman, for women they want emotional fulfillment.
Giving love
A woman wants and needs to receive love, like a car needs fuel.
She needs it to function, be in the world.
The man needs to be able to and know how to give love, he actually loves her and gives it to her. The feeling, emotion and actual existance of love.
If a man is in a bar and is giving love, then girls will just want to come up to and be with him, to receive love.
All the love letters, poems, gifts, notes, touches, pictures painted of her, kisses, time spent on them etc. that women want from their man, are all ways of the girl getting love. Love is what they want and need.
Women want love in all different ways that they can get it. For example the way a man looks at her like he loves her, touches her like he loves her etc.
Women like being with a man even just for this.
Courting
A woman wants a man who will go for it in chasing them, make a move, take charge. That is part of being a man and being masculine.
Women want it to be that there is a man who is coming to get them.
They want a real man, that really will go up to them, puts the effort into getting their phone number, chases them, is not worried by rejection as he is a real man with courage.
Women want it to be that a man loves them, thinks they are fantastic, chases them, is obsessed by them, wines and dines them. This makes them feel desired and feminine.
Biologically they are the beautiful passive flower and it the active male that wants to woo her so that he can impregnate her. So the woman wants and expects the man to do the chasing, it is the bit she wants.
She also wants it to be the man loves her and only her, he will look after and protect her.
Women love it when ft a man looks at them, likes them, it is a real power thing for them and compliment.
Patty Stanger says that a man needs to learn how to ‘hunt and fish’, when a man sees a girl they like, they have to go up to her and not be a coward.
The woman then likes it that she can then decide if she wants to go along with it, or not. So the man needs to be a gentleman in doing this, treating the girl like a lady.
For example, the man will not ask the girl if he can kiss her, they want him to make a move such as lean forward to try and to kiss her. Then it is up to her if she wants to lean forward into the kiss, or lean back so they will not kiss.
Asking a girl if you can kiss them, ruins the mood and the moment of romance.
Coffee is cheap (so best avoided)
Drinks are an audition
Lunch is an interview
Dinner is romance
So once met a girl and ask her out, must be a 5 star date.
Seen from another side, the woman may let the man have sex with her, but the man has to work for it by doing things for the women, proving their devotion etc.
So women want it that the man woos them, takes them out for dinner and does things for them as he wants them. When you take a woman out for dinner, it is all part of the courtship they want.
However as you are serving them, it’s best to do what they actually want and not just be derivative. Eg. may have some pressing problem like a package they can’t stay in for and if you do that, it’s what they really want and shows you actually care.
Chivalry
Women want a man who will fight, protect and work for them.
Patty Stanger says
Women what to man to be chivalrous and being chivalrous goes a very long way for women.
It is kind of dying as men do not want to be men, they want to be the girl in the relationship. Now that women are earning their own money, they figure they do not have to pay the dinner bill, open the car door, but that goes a very very long way with a lady.
However women want a man who will look after them and so for example pay for the dinner bill. Chivalry goes a very long way with women.
if there is something the lady needs, going and getting it or doing it for them. The more specific it is to her real needs the better it is, as shows the man really cares about and so listens to them.
even little things like opening the door for them, walking the lady from the car to her door when he drops them off etc.
The old analogy of a woman being swept off her feet by prince charming is a good one. Very feminist women may like to say and even think they do not want this, but they do.
A relationship
Women want a man who is interested in them as a person, so is interested in and wants to join them doing what they are interested in doing and so on. For example it may be going shopping, or whatever their interests may be. So going with them, joining them and talking about their interests.
For a lady to fall in love with a man, it has to be that the man wants to talk with them and be with them. So she then wants to chat with him and misses just being with him, even if it is just them talking. Then she falls in love with him.
Ask questions, be interested and find out about them on a deeper level. They want you to want to know about these things, because they want a man that cares about them.
The man will be even more attractive to the lady, if it moves past the physical into more about what they are interested in and think about certain things.
They love it emotionally when it is a man they can be relaxed, comfortable with and just hang out with.
You need to know how to be with a girl and be a gentleman.
They want a man who is honest and sincere. Where they can be real with each other, talk about anything, he will support them in whatever they do and they can continue their passions together.
Common interests are great, as from there the relationship flourishes. Women want a man that they have things in common with.
A lady wants a man where they do things together as equals, not that they are below the man. In fact the man thinks she is so wonderful, lovely, beautiful and perfect that he lifts her above him.
For a women the sex thing is only so much, they want a man to go through life with, do things with, be with them, protect and look after them. So they want a man that will go to concerts, out to dinner and so on with them. They do not want to do stuff by themselves.
Also to turn a woman on and for her to want sex with the man, forplay and romance is essential. This means the man to be with her for many days, loving her, caring for her which means doing stuff with her.
Women testing that the man wants a long term relationship
Women know that men often just want sex with them and will just move on once they have gotten this from her.
Women do not just want it that the man says to her that she has pretty eyes, but not be interested in them as anything more than a sex toy. They also want the man to be interested in them as a person and not just as a sex object. So for example on internet dating, when contacting a lady mention things she has written on her profile, to show you are interested in her as an individual person.
Women are used to men just wanting sex and saying anything just to get sex. They find men act crazily, they have a disturbing time because the man is so crazy. The men normally do this because they are so extremely driven by just wanting sex. This makes the men say things too extreme for a first date, such as fake cheesy chat up lines etc. Just anything to get sex, once the man has slept with them they will move on.
So women like it when the man chats with them like they are a person. They want it that the man wants to know what they are interested in, about them, listens to what they have to say, pays attention to them, etc.
Then the woman gets to find out that the man is a good man.
So many ladies will make sure the man is properly interested in a long term relationship, or marriage, by letting the man be go out for dinner with them, meet up regularly and so on for even 3 months before even kissing him. This is especially if they think the man is just wanting to have sex with them and then will just move on.
Then after 3 months of him still loving her, wanting to go for dinner, places, help her with things and so on.
She will see that he is really into her for the long term, sincere and so will let him kiss her and slowly move further with their relationship.
Biologically this is because once a man has impregnated a female, sexually he has done his job and it is time for him to move to impregnate another female. As a result many men will move on or get bored once they have slept with a lady.
The female will be pregnant and have to nurture the child throughout their lifetime. They need a man who wants to and will protect them and the child from threats, hunt and fight for them while they are pregnant, giving birth, raise the children and so on.
As a result they want to know the man is interested in being with them for life and not just impregnating them and moving on.
This is so the man will hunt, fight, protect and provide for them and the children throughout their lifetime.
That is why woman is very insecure about the man really wanting them, thinking they are better than any other woman, so she knows that he will not go off with another woman now or any time in the future. They depend on him for these things, the man approaches and does things for the lady, so she needs him to be attracted to her and so want to do these things her.
So the lady also needs lots of compliments from the man, him to love her, think she is better than other ladies and not to be interested in other women for the same reason.
A woman thinking you are a good person to go out with and marry
What make girls decide you are the man for them. Could be they see you are nice to your mother and so a nice person. How a man is to their mother is very important to a woman. Women see the man’s mother as the lady who has been in the man’s life first and gave them life. If the man is not good for that lady in their life, then they will probably not be good to the next lady in their life which is her. So if a woman sees that the man is really nice to his mother. They know he is a good person and will be nice to them.
Good with children so will be a good father etc. So if they see the man being good with another person’s children, such as really playing with the children, the woman will want to go out with him as he will be a good dad to her children.
Also that the man is polite, for example opening doors for her so she goes first, eating with his mouth shut etc.
When the lady is sick, ill, looking terrible, in trouble and it is like the man has nothing to gain from the lady as she has nothing to give, the man of still loves them, hunts, protects and fights for them.
Introduction
Women do not like it when a man ‘wolf whistles’ at them, says ‘hey baby’, ‘hey sexy’ because they are being treated like animals, pets, dogs and so on. A women wants to be treated like a person, they want a man to speak to them like a person, a beautiful, wonderful and intelligent person.
Romance
A woman has to be romanced, then they will be turned on and attracted to you. This takes time and effort.
The man must not be narcissistic, he must do it that it is all about her, she is the big deal, not him. That is how you ‘sweep a girl off her feet’.
It is about the mood, moments, feelings of romance. Ultimately showing that you love her.
Wheras men think things, women are about feelings. So for love making ‘sex’ there has to be the right mood and feelings, so there has to be romance.
For example for a gift to be romantic, you need to provide what she specifically wants and likes. The more the lady wants and likes it, the more effective it will be.
Different people want different things, it could an item she had wanted, she could not get and you noticed, remembered and got it for her. It can also be something that she specifically wanted.
The more personal thing it is about specific things that she likes and wants the better. Then it is more that you care about her specifically. As you paid attention to them and listened
However it needs to need something they want want emotionally. She may need a new computer, but that will not be effective if it is not something she emotionally cares about. Men also need to be careful to not get things that they themselves want, but not what the lady wants.
It also needs to be something where the lady can see that the man put his own special thought and energy into. If she finds out that his personal assistant bought and chose it, the gift then means nothing to them.
Being a father
Women want a man who will be a good father for their children, for example fight through hell and high water for them.
They really want that for their children, so really care about choosing a man who will be a good father to their children.
A women will not go out with a man they believe may abandon their children, or be a bad father. If the man has previously had children with another lady, that he has always looked after those children well, will be an essential way she will assess that.
Also for that reason a lady wants a man who will provide a stable income, home and so on for the children. Financial stability and security is important to a lady.
Also a woman may go out with a man, just because they want to have children.
Your bad points
Everybody has bad sides and baggage.
Examples maybe personal problems, family problems, relationship stuff they got wrong in the past and so on.
However do not tell the person this until they have gotten to know you and been with you for a while. Otherwise they will get put off you.
So let them see and enjoyed your good sides so they can get to know you, trust you and appreciate your good sides.
So that later on you can tell them your bad sides and they will not end things at that point, because they have gotten to know you, trust you and see that you are okay.
If a man tells a lady their negative sides or dirt too early, then the lady will just go yuk and not want them!
You have to eventually tell them your bad sides, or they will be upset you never told them and not trust you anymore, but leave this for until they have met you many times.
Also you have to be an open book, so people can get to know and like you. So doing this too much can prevent that, make you unknowable and unlikeable. It can even lead to a feeling of hostility on your part, because of what you are doing, so be careful.
Finding the right lady
You need a lady that likes and want your heart (emotions, feelings, love), not one who likes and wants your money.
To do this you must get girls by being romantic, not by spending loads of money. Then you will get the girl who wants a good man, a girl who is not a gold digger.
Status symbol
Women want a man who looks good, dresses well and so on, because for them their man is a status symbol, something to show off and be seen with.
Also if the man is rich and powerful, then they are too, as she is the partner if that man. Having a man like that makes them a ‘somebody’.
Emotions and feelings
Men are more logical, they go for it and do it. A man will say what they think about things and go and do things.
A man will say ‘You are being silly, ‘I think you are being silly’, then go and sort it out. Men more get on with it, so it and sort it out.
Women say how they feel about things and enjoy talking about their feelings. Women like to talk about their issues and problems as a way of venting and coping with it, sharing them with others.
A woman will say ‘you are making me feel uncomfortable’.
Women are about nurturing, caring, feelings and emotions. So to be successful dating women, men need to have intelligence, ability and awareness of feelings and emotions to be successful.
Men need this so they can do things emotionally and feelingswise to be successful with ladies.
So when a man is being affectionate and loving with a woman, he needs to really feel it and express it for real as real feelings and emotions. He also has to be able to express it in the tone of his voice and so on. As a woman is interested in the feelings, not just the words are being said. So for example if they cannot feel it from a man that he loves her, hear it in the tone of his voice and so on, there is nothing interesting, or with any point for them.
The man must be very careful not to do anything to damage their feelings about him. A woman’s feeling are very delicate and easily swayed. Just one wrong look, tone of voice, sentence, feeling can damage this and they will not feel comfortable with you. If done, this is very hard to come back from and sometimes not possible if she has locked herself up for her protection.
However although women want a man who is romantic and feels good. It is essential their man who is strong so does not cry when they need him to be strong.
They will walk away from and never want to be with a man who cries, it means they are not strong enough to stop themselves from crying.
They are fine if a man cries at suitable and correct times such is funerals, but not at times where they are under attack and need the man to be strong.
Women believe the man should be able to stay logical during difficult times, women believe it is okay for women to cry because they are more sensitive and run more by feelings.
How to make sure woman does not think you are a creep
Signs are taking advantage of her, not respecting her, not being there when she calls calls him back, not giving her time and attention.
Women are very careful to ensure they have nothing to do with men who are jerks and have ‘jerk detectors’.
Women are careful that the man does not just want sex from them, for example if they receive a phone call after 11 pm, it normally means only that.
Women want a man who is good, real, honest and genuine.
So make sure with a girl it is about you serving her, giving her love as she is so beautiful and lovely..
It must not be about you taking, leering, being sly, malicious, like an animal looking at their pray, a hyena looking at a dead carcus and cannot wait to rip it to shreads. That will scare off and creep out ladies.
Masculinity
Masculinity is about force, strength, rugged, doing things, strong, take charge, command, leading, taking control.
Femininity is about nurturing, caring, being receptive, softness.
A female will be attracted to masculinity. If the man is not masculine, there is nothing for the lady to be attracted to. The more masculine man is, the more there is for them to be attracted to.
Men who get a lot of attention from woman are very manly. They have a very manly stature. So with behaviour and doing things think ‘what would a man do?’ For a man to be manly, he has to be able, capable and have achieved things.
A man must have masculine energy, it is something a man can meditate, focus and work on so it grows and grows. It is a force, energy, strength etc.
The men who women find attractive have a masculine energy and are masculine, this effects their whole being and way. Women are attracted to this masculine energy. However these men also know how to look after themselves so they remain clean, well groomed and attractive.
How you act and behave is important, women are female so will be attracted to masculine men. Ensure you then act and behave like a masculine man with your posture, tone of voice, energy, movements and so on.
A man needs to have a strong sounding voice, with this the lady can tell how physically, psychologically and spiritually strong he is. As a man is meant to be strong, a man will look pathetic if he is not.
If you are ever intimidated in any way by the lady, or anything she says or does, you must not admit that, as it is not masculine. The lady needs someone who will be the male, if you are intimidated by her then you cannot be that man so she will not be attracted to you any more and respect you.
A man does things by force, a woman asks if she can do something nurturing or assisting. So the man takes charge.
A man must stand vertically straight, to be powerful and dominating. They must also have a forward leaning/standing posture which is more masculine. If a man leans back at all, they will seem feminine.
A man must have a deep strong voice. A high pitched voice is laughable, pathetic and terrible for a lady, because it is so feminine.
The lady wants the man to behave and be physically, emotionally and psychologically strong, brave, courageous and effectual, so capable of achieving and doing things.
He must not be a wimp, and so weak, ineffectual, or timid.
However you still need to express interest and want to do the things women like to do but men do not, such as go shopping for clothes, talk about relationships, do romantic things like holding hands and cuddling. If you talk about men’s things like football and so on they will not have any interest in talking and being with you.
So for example the man chooses the restaurant for the date and takes charge. Women want the man to do that for them.
As and ‘gentleman’ the also have to see if the woman wants to go along with it, or if they would like something else.
Going through life and in their relationship, the lady wants a man who is strong and dependable. So he deals well with, survives and is fine through life’s challenges.
So if there is a mouse the lady expects the man to be able to catch it and not be afraid.
Women have their nurturing and childbearing abilities, but the hormones make them fluctuate emotionally a lot. They expect a man to be strong enough to be unphased by when they may be or do things because of this. So in these situations they need the man to be their rock and not fall apart if they do. So a man has to be strong emotionally as well.
Due to estrogen and other things, women’s emotions can go up and down and be all over the place. Women want a man who can stay strong and hold their ground, will still be fine when the woman may get emotional.
Women want a man who can be the strong male, so they can be really feminine. This is especially for women who want to be really feminine.
Courage
Courage is needed for a man to be masculine, no woman wants to be with and sleep with a man who is a coward.
If a man is afraid , will never find a wife.
These men are often a mother’s boy (so does whatever will please his mother even if not the best thing to do). They have not gotten the courage and confidence to go into the real world and still clinging to their mother.
If they are afraid of what mummy thinks, will do things which are not right, just because of what their mother thinks. They do this especially as not got their own courage and confidence.
The men often do this because in their parents relationship, the mother leads and the dad is easy going.
If do that then the man ends up with a woman that rules him, just like their father does.
It is the wanting to be with a woman, that makes the man leave home, it says this in the first part of Genesis in the bible.
Cowardly men are not sexy. They also are not exciting and girls want men who are exciting.
If a person is a coward, they will:
●not be exciting and will probably also not talk about exciting things. Need to talk about fun, spicy things and play. They will also need to be confident so will show their personality.
●It also makes it hard for them to make decisions.
●can make them hesitate so not get the girl. The guy may loose the opportunity as another man comes along, it also stops the man from being masculine and so attractive to the girl.
Getting to know them as a person
When chasing a woman, do not do it just like you just want sex. They will be intimidated by whether they will be good enough and so on.
Chase the girl as want to get to know her as a person. If you just want tits, arse and sex she will probably not want this as she will feel used, especially as it means you will just have sex with her and move on. This will mean she has been treated as an object, when she wants to feel special.
Women do not want to be treated as an object that is used for sex and the man then just moves on to another object. Girls want to feel beautiful and special.
The girl must be so special and beautiful that you would never want anyone else and you value her as a person.
Admire with honour her as a women
This is how is how women like men to look at them. This means that admire, honour and them for being a woman and all that being a woman means.
It is about honouring and admiring what women do and are in the world and how important they are. The importance and wonder of being a women. For example they are nurturing, gentle, beautiful, stop fights, many raise children etc.
Women will love that you look at them like that, find it special and really want to be with the man.
Women do not often get that from men.
To do it successfully need to be detached from it, it is a natural process that does not come from ego, selfishly wanting things. So need to be able to let it happen that natural place.
For the woman it is not just the man trying to get into their pants.
If a man goes into a room, just wanting to get into women’s pants, the women there will find the man repulsive.
Horny males
Women do not like being around males who are horny and nothing else. They feel that they just want to shag things.
Women want a man that only wants them and only loves them.
Women feel that men who are just horny, just care about themselves and getting their own sexual fix, with no thought of the girl. This is not nice for the girl, because the man just grasps what he wants and will not treat them nicely.
Women are worried that the man will just sleep with them and move on.
That is why they constantly check that the man is not just wanting sex, he loves them and wants to be with them.
A horny male will have sex with anything when it comes along, this makes women feel especially insecure, that he will mess them around, will not stay around to them and will go with off with someone else. That the man will be unreliable.
This is what women want, but in the world itself, male and female are the balance of two different forces. The man in himself has to behave according to his own libido and sex drive, or it will not function. On a base level men do just want to put their sperm in all girls. He will not be able to function sexually as a man if he does not function as a male. If it does not function the women will be left sexually very disappointed as he will not get an erection etc. However he does have to look out for and consider what ladies want.
Women want to ensure the man will stick around and help them, not fly off.
General
Girls like it when you look at them like they are the greatest thing in the world, worship them.
A woman wants a man who makes them feel special.
A man who is proud to have them as his girlfriend.
They want a man who is sweet, kind and makes them laugh.
When a man courts a woman properly she feels special and that is why she likes it. It must be romantic.
You must be giving to her and serving her, like you do not want anything in return. For example if you look at a girl that you do not know, like she is lovely and wonderful, it is a compliment for her that she will like. If you focus on giving to her, giving the compliment and serving her then there is nothing for her to hate as you do not want anything from her.
You do not need to say many complimentary words, or chat up lines. It all happens and is communicated from how you feel, emotions, facial expressions, your posture, tone in your voice etc. So the ‘chat up words themselves’ are not so important, the othet stuff is.
The best way to a woman’s heart is through a thoughtful, un selfish, considerate act for them.
Girls want to see that a man has put in loads of thought and effort into doing things for them as it shows he loves and cares about them.
They also want him to plan the date for her as he is the male.
Woman want a man who is chivalrous, it goes a long way, opening car door, paying restaurant bill etc.
Women like to check out a man and find out who he is before getting any involved with them.
Women want a man who is intelligent, educated and comes from a good family.
If you know how to love your mother, all the ladies will love you.
Showing off
Women want a man who is real and authentic. A man showing off, pretending he is greater than he is and other things like that make him fake. As a result there is nothing for the lady to connect to.
The man has to be true to himself, let the real him shine through. Needs to let the lady see who he really is.
If a man is putting on performance there is also nothing real and for her to connect to. The man may do it:
selfishly as they just want to show off to get attention and admired
compensation because they are a pathetic person so do need this attention and admiration
compensation because they are pathetic, not a nice person, not kind etc. so they feel they cannot let the lady see the real them because he is ao scummy
The only solution is to genuinely and actually be a good, clever, capable, kind person so the lady can enjoy the real you. There is no replacement for the real thing.
Being egotistical and selfish is something that will turn women away, it is unpleasant for the lady as things are happening in his interests and not hers.
Women only wants to see great things that interest them, so they can become part of that and have it, so it is about serving the lady. This is of course not what showing off is about, as that is done to show is better than the lady.
Being good at what one does, coupled with modesty is a winning trait.
Guys when dating can start showing off their job, it is their pride, hunter gatherer thing, identity and to give them confidence. However girls only care about that if it is a job that adds to their status from being with you. Also if guys are too much into that, it bores the girl and gets in the way of the them seeing the man’s heart, emotions and who he is and they want to see those things.
A man may start talking about his car, hifi and other male things that tend not to interest ladies. The lady will only care that he has money so that he can buy her jewellery and the things that she likes. So once she sees he has a nice car,.she will have worked that out he has money, then she wants to see that he will spend it on her as he loves her. So going on about cars and things that bore her will be a turn off.
Clothing and grooming
Women want a man who is dressed well, groomed well and will be put off by man who dresses badly. Their man is a status symbol who reflects how great they are that they have such a man.
They do not want to be embarrassed by having a scruffy man.
Also it can be a status symbol that they have a classy rich man, so if the man is stressed scruffily, it pulls them down as well.
If a man dresses scruffily, the woman may also think they are poor and reject them for that reason as well.
Women wanting a rich man
This is because:
from a mating point of view they want the king of the jungle.
the women wants the money.
Even if a man is not rich, they will be fine if he is ambitious. This is because if he is ambitious, they think he will probably become rich and powerful as he has the dynamic of that kind of male.
If you are rich, to be careful the lady does not just want you for your money, do your courtship with being romantic to her which does not mean spending money.
Lead with being romantic, being good to her, not with talking about your money. You need a lady who wants you for you and not just for your money.
If you are poor, be careful of pretending that you are rich, because in the long term the relationship will be a disaster, because you will not be able to meet what she expected.
What to wear
Something that makes your bottom look good.
The shirt needs to be tailored and fitted to show the pecks and arm muscles.
How women see relationships with men and women
The man is meant to be courting and adoring the woman, her needs get met and she comes first.
So for women it is all about them.
Masculine energy: Men are rugged, go get and take charge.
If a man is that things are about them, then the man is being feminine and not masculine.
Feminism
Feminism is about ensuring that women get equal to men. Men are stronger and have historically oppressed women.
As much as there are good sides to feminism, like anything there are also good and bad sides. Things can be used for good as well as evil.
Women may need to be more masculine in their workplace to survive and compete there. However bringing this into a relationship with a man can cause trouble as she is not bringing the feminity needed or allowing the man to do the man stuff
Some ladies have psycholgical conflicts between being feminine with a man and also being a bit masculine and even trying to compete with him for the saje of feminism.
Many women are highly suited to careers, but some are not happy with it and only do it because they feel they should and are actually wanting to be much more homely and looking after children.
When a lady is wanting to be more masculine in a relationship it is a disaster. Even worse when they try to compete with a man with masculinity. However men need to be aware of this issue if the woman wants to do this.
The answer is for ladies act differently at different times, be feminine in a relationship with a man and if they need then more masculine at work.
Often women who are feminists are very happy to be very feminine in the bedroom, but then the more feminist way when out and about.
However women need to be aware of their strengths in being feminine, the things women can do, are needed for and are often things that men cannot do. They are not the demeaning things, are just as needed and are just different Also men must not oppress women.
On a date today, some women are wanting to be so independent and masculine that this is hard for man.
Also if the woman does not appear and behave in a feminine way, there is nothing for the male to be attracted to.
Even worse a woman may think she has to be more masculine and then is not being true to their feminine, emotional nature and so then falls apart as she is not getting the care, support and love she needs a man. Such as hugs and so on.
More feminist women also have a harder time attracting a man, because men want a soft and nurturing women. If the woman is more masculine, of course she’s not so feminine which is what men are attracted to. They often wonder why they grow old and alone.
Also strong women need an even stronger man than normal to be able to be masculine in comparison them. It is a bit pathetic if the man is a weaker and not as strong as they are. Women will only be attracted to a man if they are bigger, stronger, more giving and masculine than they are.
Women wanting a man like their father
For women, their father was the male who used to hunt for them, support and protect them. They want to have this and in fact are annoyed that they have to sleep with a man to get this (men want sex).
A woman’s father was their first role model of what a relationship with a man should be like. It affects what they are used to a man being like, what they want from their man and the levels he has to live up to.
It can be especially hard for a woman to find a man if he was or is very rich, clever, dependable, capable and so on. This is because they cannot find a man that lives up to their father’s level.
It could be said that a reason why a lady wants a man taller than her is it goes back when she was young, looked after by her father and he was taller than her.
As a woman is used to the father as the male, she will also look for and choose men who are like her father.
However she will also then carry on the relationship issues, for example if her father was abusive she will expect her man to be abusive and carry on that relationship.
It could also be said that women are attracted to men like their father, because they are attracted to what is familiar. Also when they see such a man, they can understand him, because they have seen those characteristics before.
Men are attracted to women who are like their mothers
This is because it is the kind of lady that the man will be used to. As a result they feel comfortable with understand and I use to such a lady.
When they meet a lady who is like their mother, they immediately how that person works, can quickly and easily quickly communicate with them.
However if the mother is a bad person, or has certain negative traits, it means the man is always going out with a disastrous partner.
Likewise women are attracted to men who are like their fathers.
Man are normally attracted to women who are like their mothers.
If a man’s mother with intelligent, bossy with blond hair, they are often attracted to women with those characteristics.
If a man’s mother is stupid, timid with brunette hair, they are often attracted to women with those characteristics.
Of course there are many many factors of what makes up a person.
So when a man meets a lady who is like their mothers. They can immediately fully understand, work with and speak with them, because they fully understand them and are used to them.
However if the man’s mother was is or was not a good person, is too different to them and so on, this means they will find an unsuitable mate.
So after the male is initially attracted to the woman, next as a second stage he must consciuosly think about these factors and see if he needs to choose someone else who he will get on with better as a person.
Emotional support
Women also want a man for a emotional support.
Hugs, cuddles and so on are about this emotional support.
For a lady with all the challenges, problems, things they find difficult in life and hard times, emotional support from a strong stable man means a lot.
They need a good relationship with a man for this and to know that they can always speak with him.
Psychological support
Women have a lot of hormone issues and other psychological feelings things that makes them fluctuate more. As a result they need a man to be a strong rock for with them.
Also as women are on average weaker they do need a strong man to support them psychologically. Just like how a beautiful female ballet dancer, does need a male dancer to support them in their wonderful postures and poses.
Interest in them
The man is giving so he is:
interested in them
listening to them
giving them attention
letting them talk and be centre stage
asking questions about them
lifting them up so they shine and are beautiful, like the male ballet dancer, lifting and supporting the woman.
The man must be about her and not about himself.
Women want it to be that the man is so interested in them, that they do not want to talk to anyone else. For example they want it to be that the man never wants to be with his friends, chat to other people in the restaurant and so on, as he is only interested in her, her feelings, what she has to say and so on.
Some women even settle down with a man because he wants to be with them, wants to do things for them. It can take quite a long time for the man to demonstrate to the woman, that this is the case.
Self esteem
For many women, looking good is more important to them than what they have done in their life.
For a lady looking good means that a man loves them, wants them and wants to have sex with them This gives them self esteem.
So if a lady is in a relationship where the man does not really want them, give them attention, love them and want to have sex with them then they will not have any self esteem.
To get this from a man or men, a woman may even have an affair.
Women want a man who makes them feel special
It needs to be for her that no woman before has been able to have that effect on the man, as she is so amazing. No other woman is able to do that to the man.
It must be that the man is a wanting only that particular lady to do things with, it must be that the man is just wanting to do things with ladies in general.
So the woman is so special she cannot be compared to other women in any way. It is just her that the man wants, he does not want ladies in general and there can be no comparison as she is so great.
So for example, the man must never express that she is not more beautiful than other women, or better than other women. For example if the man has met her a year ago, even as part of a group and does not remember her, she will not feel special and it will not go anywhere.
Make sure the woman knows you think she is really beautiful
For women it is really important that they are beautiful. To many woman it is so important that how they look is more important to them than what they do in life.
This is also as she wants the man to look after her, fight for her, chase after her, court her and so on. The woman feels she needs to be beautiful to enable this to happen as then the man will want her.
So the man needs to make sure he communicates to her how incredibly wonderful beautiful he thinks she is.
Of course the man can say the things that make her so beautiful such as her eyes and so on. These need to be things today man really does find beautiful.
The actual words are not so important, it is the emotions, feelings, expressions, body language and so on used with the communication. So the man can communicate how beautiful the woman is with those things and not even need any words. If a man is using those words all the time it can seem excessive and fake, so can also use the other things as well.
Even in life in general it is really important to women that people think they are beautiful and most women will do almost anything to get compliments.
Chatting
The man gives, the woman receives.
Must be interested in her, let her talk about herself. Ask about her as you are interested in her.
Woman are not interested in work (men are as it is a hunter gatherer thing), football and so on.
Talk about what women are interested in such as gossip, celebrities, popular culture and so on. Of course if she is more educated and for example interested in art, spirituality and other things then chat about those things. It needs to be fun, things she is interested in so you can have a relationship as you have things in common.
People are most interested in themselves so that is normally a good thing to chat about.
If you can entertain her with funny stories then give it a go.
However do not talk about yourself as people are interested in themselves. So needs to be that she talks about herself and you ask about her..
It is tempting for a man to just show off in front of a lady and want attention, this is taking as is about yourself. Should be about focusing on her and giving her attention.
Lady feeling comfortable
It takes time for a lady to feel comfortable with a man.
To fall in love she has to have seen the man a lot, spent time with the man a lot, chatted on the phone a lot. If she has spoken with and been with the man a lot and regularly, then she will feel comfortable with him and fall in love with him. For the man it takes a lot of time spent and patience for her to get to this place.
She will freeze, be rigid and not like anything if not feel comfortable with it.
So for example if approaching a girl make sure not to invade her personal space and give her lots of space.
On a first date be careful not to invade a lady’s space if they do not look comfortable with it. Also not to touch and kiss them as well if they do not feel comfortable with it.
A woman may not know that she wants to be kissed but it will be visible that she wants it. She may also signify she wants it, or even do delicate cues to invite you.
The same with sex, if she is touched and goes rigid, tense, says it tickles it is that the man has not romanced her enough or spent time with her for her be comfortable with you. That is why lots of courting, romancing, spending time with her and foreplay is needed with a lady for her to be attracted to you and be turned on by you.
If she says she is sensitive when touched in a place so not want to be touched there, it could be that the man is touching it roughly making it unpleasant and the man needs to be gentle for it to be pleasurable. Otherwise it is that the man has not done enough courting, romancing, spending time with her and foreplay for the lady to be attracted to you and or turned on for you, so it is not pleasant for her.
The lady needs to be relaxed and feel happy to enjoy sex, because they are about feelings and are very sensitive.
Desperation
A man must not seem desperate to get the woman or a woman. This means:
1, Despair or urgency to get the lady: a desperate killer.
2. having an urgent need, desire, etc.: desperate for attention.
3. leaving little or no hope; very serious or dangerous:a desperate illness.
This is because it must mean that he cannot get a lady elsewhere because no one else wants him.
A woman does not want a woman that other ladies do not want:
1, In the same way that a man who is famous at a large music concert, or head of a large company will be wanted by all the ladies. He will be wanted because being famous, powerful, in charge, head of the pack, in fashion, popular. So he is will be wanted by other ladies.
So a woman wants a man that the other women want as well.
This is much like how if a coat is in fashion and so everyone wants one as well, so other women will want it as well.
So the opposite is true, if the man is desperate it must be because he is not wanted by other women, so not in fashion and so not desirable.
2, If other ladies do not want him there must be something wrong with him, or he is no good. Therefore the other ladies will not want him.
3, Desperate means that the man is wanting things. If a person is noble and great then they are not thinking about what they can get, so not getting things is not an issue so will never be desperate. The man should be about serving the lady and then of course he is greater as free and not dependent and attached to things.
A man will perform well if he is focused on service, if he is selfish then to get things he will get nervous, negative emotions, desperate, just think about getting and not get on with the job, so will perform badly.
So a man must behave like he is wanted by other ladies, popular and there are no problems.
The market
If the lady hears that the man has gone on lots of dates, singles events and so on and is still single, then she will not want him. She will think that lots of other girls have seen and not wanted him, so why should she.
She will also think that there must also be something wrong with him so he is no good.
Also the lady will think he is not the kind of man who will choose a lady and settle down.
The lady feeling like she is wanted
A woman want it to be that men want her, that is their sexual power.
Also to have a man who will fight, hunt, protect and provide for her, they know the man must really want her.
So a woman is always wanting to check that the man wants them and still wants them. They want it to be the man wants them and only them.
I woman wants to be claimed by the man, so that she is his lady.
Please be careful with this one, life is about service and giving. Although the lady secondarily and on a lower level wants to know she is wanted, the biggest, first and primary thing is that the man loves her and want to serve her. So it is not about what the man himself wants. It is primarily about the fact that the man loves her and wants to serve her.
Women want a man they respect
Women want a man that they can respect, this is needed for them to be a male figure.
This is also because an alpha male will be a role model.
She also cares that he will be a good father to their children, for that he needs to be the kind of person that children will respect, so he can be a role model and so they also do what they told.
Some women try to boss their man around, but once they are able to boss him around, he is no longer a man to them, she also then no longer respects him, then she no longer attracted to him as a man, finally then the relationship is dead.
The man will be the person who is the lady’s hunter, protector, provider and so on. They have to respect that the man will be good at that and if he is then she will respect him.
Affirmation
Women seek affirmation from their man. Women will seek a man who gives them affirmation.
The following is taken from ( http://stronglovingman.com/needs/need-4-affirmation-and-reassurance/)
Affirming her is letting her know that she is successful as a partner and that to you, she is more than enough. She is beautiful, she is smart, she is more than you ever wanted.
It is letting her know that she has value, worth and doesn’t need to prove herself to be special to you. When she experiences the affirmation of her man she feels greater courage and boldness to face the outside world.
Crying
Women will not respect and will despise a man who is weak and lacks courage.
Women want a man who is stronger than they are.
Crying means a person has lost things, is hurt or damaged. So ot makes the man looks weak or a failure. It also means that a person has succumbed and given into this.
Of course in reality a man needs to let his emotions be what they are; if he has lost a friend, family or someone else and he has that loss then he should cry. Doing anything else is repressing emotions which will lead to a them becoming weaker, coming out later at the wrong times or health problems from them being repressed. All emotions are the same river, so controlling one type, damages them all.
A man needs emotions for strength etc. So even though crying maybe seen as weak, without the other acceptable ones of happiness, anger etc. the man is not strong, cannot stand up straight etc. His emotions are his strength and so should not be controlled or pushed around too much. The river of emotion of all kinds have to be cherished so it can flow.
However if a man cries it can be seen that he has lost, given in to emotion etc. As a result the lady will thing he is weak, pathetic and has given into their emotions.
As a result the balance is the man should have free flowing emotions, be able to cry; but able to hold them back for the times if and when needed.
Some girls who have or had father’s who cry, or are from less masculine cultures, will want a man who can cry, otherwise there is nothing to be with them for or to relate to them.
Other women who have or had father’s who do or did not cry, or from more masculine country or cultures do not want a man who cries. If he ever cries it shows that he is weak as has lost a battle and so crying shows he is injured, or just cannot hold back his emotions. As a result if a lady like that sees the man cry, such weakness means the relationship is over.
Of course if there is crying through loosing a battle, the best thing is to be strong and so not loose battles so this happens less. Also being such a strong and together person that is okay even if have lost a battle.
For loss from loosing a friend or a loved one, a person should be very sad and of course cry.
The man also need to have full and free flowing emotions so he can function as a human being and the lady has something to genuinely interact and be with. Otherwise there is not a real person there for her.
Entertainment
Women want a man who entertains them, is fun and keeps them occupied. This can be a variety of things and each lady will be interested in different things.
For example it could be that the man:
●is intelligent and they do interesting things and conversations.
●takes her on adventures and different places.
●takes her to fun places and they have fun together.
●is funny and makes her laugh
Ladies do not want to be with boring men. Sadly this is something that can lead them to be with ‘bad boys’ because they sometimes provide more entertainment.
Flirting
Need to make sure do not end up just ‘being friends’
On a date need to flirt, show you are sexually attracted to her and give the girl attention.
The man needs to be a romantic partner, a sex partner, otherwise the vibe will not be there and she will just see you as just a friend so there can be no sexual relationship.
A person will be friendly with people like themselves, which is why girls will mostly be friendly with other girls. However you cannot be a girl or feminine, as the woman will be attracted to a masculine man, so in this aspect you need to be different to them. So although need to be like them so they feel comfortable with you, must still be a man and masculine.
For example Google defines flirting as:
1,
Behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.
“she began to tease him, flirting with other men in front of him”
synonyms:trifle with, toy with, tease, lead on,philander with, dally with, make romantic advances to, court, woo,vamp; More
2.
(of a bird) wave or open and shut (its wings or tail) with a quick flicking motion.
“a moorhen stepped out of the reeds, flirting its white tail”
So need to behave in a way that shows you at your sexual best, sexually attractive. However must not be lewd, crude, in a way that is unromantic, or ‘in her face’ before she is warmed up and comfortable with you, otherwise it will put her off and she will be abhorred and run away.
It needs to be romantic flirting.
Shared interests
A woman wants a man with the same interests, so they can lead and build a life together and have things to talk about.
Also different women are interested in different things, so one woman may want a man who is interested in the arts, because they like the arts, whereas another lady may be more interested in intellectual pursuits and want an intellectual man to chat with.
Being yourself
Must be real.
A man may want to act like they have everything all together and good, but women tune into what is inside. So if feking that everything is together, then the man can be unreal so there is nothing there for her.
They need to like the real man, that the man may not be showing, but this needs the man to let down his guard. This may feel dangerous to open up, can only do it with the right people. If the lady is a bad person should not be with them anyway.
Women need to feel that there is something to connect with.
Need to let people know your opinions, or there is not a person there.
What the man wants
Women want it to be that the man is looking for the woman of their dreams to love, cherish, romance, take care of and spoil.
They do not want a man who is just about take, wanting her to just cook, clean etc. like a slave.
The man must remember that whatever he wants, women are people and must be treated accordingly.
Persistence
It it is often that a lady is not interested in a man, but by his consistent and persistent courting over months, or even several years, the lady is eventually interested in him.
That level, amount and consistency of courting, that the man is continually saying that he loves her, buying her thoughtful little gifts, doing things for her and wanting to spend time with he. This eventually builds up to be irresistible to women.
Of course the man of course the man needs to do it in a way, that during the period the woman isn’t interested in him he does not become a pest to her.
So it can be done by saying things to her friends, that her friends will say to her through gossip. Also hanging out with her friends where she will also be there, sending her thoughtful little gifts and other ways of accessing her without being a nuisance, as of course at that stage she does not want him.
Conversation
There is the sex aspect which is important, but women also need to be able to talk to get on with the man.
There are things that have no interest to women for example often football fighting etc. So need to be able to chat about things that women are interested in.
There are also certain masculine traits which although are part of being a man, women find these things annoying.
An example is women like it when another person looks at and cares about their feelings and like that women do this. Women like to talk about their feelings etc.
They like that women normally do this often men do not. So a man has to be cautious to care about their feelings
Another thing is that women have no interest and are bored by many masculine subjects like sports, computers, cars etc.
Spending time together
It could be said that guys just go out with girls because they want sex.
Women want it to be at the man loves them and wants to be with them.
This means the guy wants to be with them socially all the time. Women often even get jealous when a guy wants to go out with his friends to watch football, at parties when with them talk to other people such as their friends etc.
Caring and looking after
Women want a man that will care and look after them. This is not just physically looking after them by being a hunter and provider, it is also emotionally and psychologically.
So the man has to show that he wants to look after her.
It means lots of cuddles and hugs so they feel supported and looked after. Sex for them is also about being loved, and the man showing he will look after her. So cuddling, hugs, soft stroking etc is essential.
Listening to them, caring, wanting to provide what they want.
Caring
They want a man who really cares about them. A lady will really listen and watch out for that. If in a conversation it feels like the man is not really with them and does not really care about them, they will pick it up.
Caring is not just an intellectual thing, it is an emotional and spiritual thing. It has to be real you have to be a good person and really care.
Women will be very sensitive to this as they are the feminine principle. They are about feeling so will pick it up. Men are more about thinking.
This then goes on to how women want love and this is the biggest thing of all.
Be careful not to abuse this though, as the negative karma will be huge!
Listening
The masculine impulse is to do things. So if the woman says she has a problem, the impulse of the male is to solve it for them.
This can be useful to the women, especially if it is a physical or practical thing that the man can do for her.
However she often just want someone to listen to her talking about it, her concerns and problems. Listening will not solve it, but gives her the emotional support and that is often what she will want.
So sometimes the woman does not want the man to solve it for them. Doing it for them can even be meddling, interfering and annoying for her if it is not what she wants. She may just want him to listen and this helps them out emotionally.
Listening is of course also important to find out what she wants and needs.
You are only interested in them
You only want them, you do not think about other women, look at other women, or want other women. Not even for a moment.
Women are very insecure about this one, it probably goes down to biology where in the jungle they want to make sure the male will protect them and not go off with another woman.
They will want to ensure you no longer want your ex partner and so on.
Never be desperate
If the woman hears, or the man lets it be known that they’ve been on lots of dates and they haven’t found someone, because nobody else wants them. No matter how great the man really is, the woman won’t want them either.
The woman will think, if nobody else wants them, why would I want them.
This is also the same the other way around, when a man goes in a date with a woman.
Women want the man that everybody else wants, as then he must be great.
If a man is really desperate, because he hasn’t had sex for a while, or really needs the date to go well, being desperate can give the impression that he’s desperate because nobody wants him. This nervous desperation also makes him very unattractive.
Intimacy and romance
For women, cuddling and holding hands and other things of intimacy, romance, and love are 80% of why they want a relationship, the sex is only 20%.
This is of course not the same for males.
The man has to do these things, because women like it. It’s also what warms them up and makes them eventually want sex.
Dancing
Dancing is a great analogy to learn about attracting women.
With dances such as the Tango, women love it because they can melt into the man.
For this they need a man who can lead. However they sometimes find some men just grab them which is repulsive so they instinctually want to go away.
Some men are not confident enough to lead them properly.
So the women needs a man who is strong enough to lead, but does it for them so is good to them.
The feminine wants a male who is stronger than they are.
Then they can melt into the man and be feminine, like the feminine is and wants to be.
Women want to be cherished as that is what the feminine wants.
Women like dancing as it is an intimate thing, they can often get more from dancing than they do from sex, as intimacy is what women want. That is why when a man is open and vulnerable with them (although still masculine as otherwise there is no attraction) it means so much for them
The male has to be masculine and the female feminine, or there is no attraction. That is why it does not work if the male becomes more feminine, or the woman becomes more masculine.
Women want a man who is emotionally available.
Then you can love, be intimate, romantic, have an emotional connection, express love and communicate with them.
Women want emotional intimacy.
ready8 Attracting women Leave a comment June 15, 2013 56 MinutesHow to be cool and not nerdyCool people tend to be those that have things, good things.
Nerdy people are those who have bad things or have nothing.
However this means having things on all levels, physical, psychological, spiritual and divine.
A metaphor would be to be a big strong powerful car, it not only has a big engine, but the wheels and other bits that able to control that power.
Strong emotionally, physically etc.
How you are physically affects how you are psychologically.
How you are psychologically affects how you are physically.
How are you are spiritually affects how you are psychologically.
How you are psychologically affects how are you are physically.
And so on……
Cool people deal with problems, nerdy people fall apart.
A useful definition
To loose your cool is defined as, to fail to maintain a calm and controlled attitude.
Nerdy people
Tend to be: anxiety, worry, nervousness, timid, scarred, stressed, hating things that should be loved.
They are not confident.
They do not things with any certainty, this means they are not so effective not as doing things fully and properly. They slowly do things checking and seeing if okay with others and so are second or last .
Nerdy people look like they find things difficult, can be seen on their face and how they move that they things difficult.
Nerdy people when faced with a problem do not stay strong and get on with it, they just fall apart.
They are so interested in logic that they do not know about and are not aware of emotions and feelings. The right motions and feelings, are part of what makes someone cool and not nerdy.
They do not know how to love others and things like that which makes them cool and attractive.
They also are not aware of their anxiety, stress, hate and, fear, cowardice all the other emotions and feelings which can become extreme and make them fall apart
Not know how to have fun and enjoy themselves.
Hate themselves when, they should love themselves. So they are full of other negative emotions and feelings which are targeted at themselves.
This hating themselves also means they are damaging themselves by doing so. This of course looks terrible.
If the person hates themselves then other people will think and feel they should hate them too.
Just like if a person sees someone else who is bad, or has done bad things, they may believe that person deserves punishment for the bad things they have done.
If a person themselves has done bad things, they may believe they deserve punishment and may try and destroy themselves and wish bad things on themselves. This makes the person hate themselves, instead of loving themselves.
So it is important to do good so that you think you deserve good and wish for good things for yourself as you deserve it.
Nerdy people are oppressed by others, because they do not stand up for themselves. They do not have the courage, bravery and fighting power to do this in the face of long term attacks that can come from bullies, people who want power over them and to exploit them.
This oppression also means nerdy people have even more negative emotions faced at themselves, such as fear for themselves, sadness at their situation, self hate and frustration at themselves and the situation. Also they become less confident of themselves and less self assured, which makes them even less attractive.
It is fine to hate evil people, you should love good and hate evil. However as they are upset at their own failure, they begin to hate themselves which is like destroying themselves.
As bullies say nasty things about them, they begin to believe it and they loose their self belief and confidence. It is what we think of ourselves which is the most powerful in how we come over to others and what others think of us.
We must always be servants of God and God wants what is right for all. God would not want us to be oppressed and wants the best for us. God is good and not evil.
Need to do good and not evil, also succeed at things. As a result a person will naturally love and not hate themselves.
The way we judge ourselves, is basically is no different to how a person judges another person.
Cool people
Loving, affectionate, courage, brave, confident and full of self belief.
They are confident.
They do things with certainty, this means they are effective as doing things properly. Even little things like picking up a cup is done differently as done with certainty.
They do not let any problem stop them from being calm and focused. They do not fall apart, or give up, they just keep getting on with it.
Cool people also find all things in life easy, things do not cause some stress or difficulty. If things come up, they just do it and for them it is easy.
They have all the emotions of sadness, stress, anger etc., but they do not fall apart.
Also staying calm at all times, not stressed, panicking or rushing. They can do this because they are brave and courageous, they know that if they panic it falls apart. The harder, bigger and more important the problem, the more impressive that they have have not panicked.
A crisis is an even more important occasion to not panic, do things at the speed you can actually do them and not be pushed around by the situation. You are in control of yourself, not other people and the situation.
They are not phased by anything that goes on or happens, so they can deal with it best.
It is very easy for person to stay cool calm and collected went by themselves and not challenged. To be a cool person they need to stay cool, calm, collected and happy in the face of difficulty and not get worried, stressed, and nervous about difficult things.
Panic makes us try to do things faster than that and it just does not work, so they are not done properly, it is not as good, it ends up being slower and you just have to redo them again. Panic gets in the way of the brain doing things the best that it can and at the speed that it can actually do things. In the end, taking your time means things are actually done more quickly and better.
Panic as it comes from fear, locks us up and stops us from functioning. The person is just thinking about themselves and what will happen to them, when to be effective need to just focuson the job, motivated by the needs and welfare of God and so others.
However if you can say calm, you can do things quickly, efficiently and well, even if you are moving quickly. Also you look great as you are not falling apart.
This is because your physical movements and posture will be clean, fluid and unfluttered. Also you will not have the negative facial and bodily expressions that come from negative emotions and feelings.
Emotional intelligence, they know about emotions and feelings, how important they are for people and in social interactions. That emotions are a real energy and existence.
Emotions and feelings are part of what makes someone cool and not nerdy. Love, courage, bravery etc.
They know how to love others and things like that which makes them cool.
Standing straight and not hunched over, as they are in charge of themselves and are not just being oppressed by other people.
If you live correctly then your emotions are clean, harmonious and fluid, you are in harmony with them. Can attack people, but only when needed.
However negative people are just oppressed and frustrated, so this is not the case. So in their resentment, frustration they attack people all rhe time when of course they should not.
Know how to have fun and be happy for the sake of others, so they get to experience it.
Beautiful people on the outside, tend to be beautiful on the inside, they do, are and appreciate beauty. A person can do good things such is doing filing for someone, but if they do not do it in a beautiful way, then it is not a beautiful thing, done beautifully for someone else.
Beauty is a wonderful thing that needs to be learned and understood in itself, for example it can be giving people beautiful emotions and feelings.
Love God and do God’s morals, so things go well and are rewarded with these things as deserve them. A person gets them as have them for God and others, not for themselves.
These all come from doing God’s morals.
If a person has God’s morals, then they will be blessed with everything that makes them cool.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 13, 2013 6 MinutesSelf confidenceIf a person has an inner self confidence, they will carry themselves in a way that when they walk into a room, people will notice them.
There is confidence in yourself, your abilities and in what you can do.
If you believe that you can do it, others will too, will want to be around you and benefit from your success.
This needs to be from the positivity of doing things well, not about the arrogance of being better than others and looking down on others. This positive confidence then also spreads onto others and benefits them, you believe that they can do it too.
It means you believe you can do it, know you can do it and not have any fear.
A person builds up confidence from the reality of their achievements, otherwise it is just a delusion which is a road to eventual ruin. You need to know the truth of when something is not working, so that you can resolve it.
To come over as confident you need to 100% do things, not do them in part or in halves. People without confidence are uncertain and do not do things wholy, properly and in full because they are not sure about them. This affects everything you do. For example some people even look insecure when standing as they do not think they can do that well, so do not do their posture 100% properly and just half do it.
People who are uncertain, look pathetic, especially if they are scarred, nervous and so on are a nuisance to do things with, as they are more of a liability than an asset.
In social situations it is about being confident in things you can help others with, if you do not believe you can do anything to help others, other people will think you cannot do anything to help them and they will not want to know you.
In fighting situations, if the other side thinks you are not confident, they will think you are a walk over and attack you. Also if the other side see fear, they will do movements to make you scared,blink, cower and make you run away..
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 10, 2013 1 MinutePowerResponsibility
If you first take responsibility then you are given power, it does not happen the other way around.
However most people want power without responsibility.
They do not want to take responsibility and want to have everything done for them.
For a person to have power, there must be a reason why they have been given it by others.
You are given a right to something when you deserve it, can handle it correctly and usefully.
People do not want to take responsibility for themselves and their lives.
As a result they let someone else take responsibility, then they end up just doing what they are told and that person has power over them.
They do what that person tells them to, even if that person is self serving and not doing what is right for them, but they let this happen as they do not want to take responsibility.
A person may also do evil if the leader tells them to and the leader says they will take responsibility for the person’s actions. Of course morally and karmically the leader is lying as this is not possible, because the person chose to go along with the leader and it is the person that did the action.
To get promoted in a company, take on responsibility after responsibility, especially easy to do if it is the stuff that other people do not want to do. Then you get huge amounts of power and until you become CEO, no one will have really noticed.
On an inner level, if you take responsibility for your psyche, then you can control it. This means a person can really be aware of, change and effect things with themselves.
Real power
Power does not come about from telling people what to do, it comes from a person changing themselves and this changes others. This could be their actions, views, feelings, emotions, spirit, connection with God etc.
By lighting a light in one person, it affects others, as everything is one.
So to improve and change the world, a person changes themselves and this really effects others.
A philosopher said:
A man wanted to change the world and he could not.
The man then tried to change his country and he could not.
He then tried to change his village and he could not.
Then he tried to change his country and he could not.
For a person to have power over themselves they must take responsibility for themselves. By a person taking responsibility for their psyche they they get control over their psyche. This means taking responsibility for what have done wrong etc.
Setting an example
A leader can say all kinds of things, but it is the example they set which has the real effect. They can say what they like, but without setting that example nothing will happen.
People needing and or wanting to do what the other person is saying,
People will listen and do what the other person says, because they need or want what the other person is saying and they believe in it. So then that person has power as other people are doing what they say:
Normally the thing has to be delivered with total confidence for the other person to want to do it and go along with it. That is how politicians do it. Often what they say is nonsense and empty, but delivered with total confidence so people go along with it.
Ego
If you try and control things from an ego point of view, you stop God and the universe doing it’s job and nothing works.
Ethics
Power is given to a person because other people want to follow them.
Power cannot be taken, if the other person does not want to follow people and has to, in the long run it can only go wrong. This could be a dictator.
It could be manager a worker has to follow, even though the does not think that they are any good. The worker will not really want to do the things because cannot believe and trust them.
A person has other people follow them because they earn trust and respect by doing good works. If the manager does a show of force against the worker by ‘waiving a stick around’ and showing by force people must follow them, it will not end well.
Lust for power
Selfish desire for power is a dark, nasty and horrible thing that consumes and so destroys the people wanting it. It destroys them, hurts them and makes them feel horrible. People may think that they are in control, but the selfishness of wanting power consumes them.
A person may want power as they they enjoy it, are entertained by it, find it pleasing and pleasurable. The more power they have, the more they believe they will be somebody, important and seen as important. This is especially so for people with low self esteem.
Morally a person can have power because they need it for the sake of others, so they have it for the sake of others. If this is not the case then it may be there, it but must not be used. Using power for selfish reasons is selfishly having something and not good.
How to tell if someone is power mad or a control freak
The biggest one is if they cannot cope, gets stressed, agitated, angry, upset if they are not in control of a situation involving people, objects, the world and so on.
When a person wants to be in control of a situation, that is having power over a situation and so other people.
When a person wants attention and does things to get attention, it is because they want power. So when a person shows off it is to get power from the people giving them attention.
Other someone is a control freak:
They interrupt the other person when they are talking.
Override and direct the conversation, where it is going, subject, what is said, views, opinions and so on.
Even when the other person has said something they have to repeat it like they are the one saying it.
Have to be the person that said the last word in the conversation, this can include the last word in each section of a conversation.
•Speak more loudly than the other person, this can be because they want to force that they are the one giving the orders.
Normally this is caused by the person:
wanting to have power.
having a fear of loss, so they control as a defence, or attack.
Something to believe in
People want something to believe in. However this can be used by a leader to control people, as they are so focused on believing in something, that they do not see what is really going on. This can be s belief, philosophy, exercise, idea etc. It is done a bit like how a magician uses misdirection.
Cults rob people of self determined, own intention.
This is because they just follow a leader. Go into rituals which cheer how wonderful the cult leader is.
Everything positive that happens to a person is validated, by attributing it to what taught by the cult leader.
Everything negative that happens to you, told is because of lack of application of doing what taught by the cult leader.
That mind control is how people get stuck in the mousetrap.
They believe what they are told so much, they just go along on with it.
Someone to believe in
A cause of this can be that people want to feel secure. So try to find someone to be their mummy or daddy and fulfil that role in their life.
As a result this leader does everything for them and takes responsibility for the person, so the person becomes less effective as they are not taking responsibility for themselves.
As a result the person skives and not do what needs to be done, as there is no need, because they are secure without doing anything.
A person can be shown what to do and how things work. However the results only happens if they make their own choices of what they believe is right do the work themselves etc. That is being an adult.
A person can believe that they have been shown the right way by someone, but they must think for themselves, do things for themselves and take responsibility for themselves.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 9, 2013 6 MinutesMental healthYou have to love and respect yourself for you to be well.
Also if you hate and disrespect yourself:
-it is not good for yourself and your body, a bad energy that will damage and destroy you.
-you will be nerdy and not nice for other people to be around. People will be able to pick up that general dis satisfaction, unhappiness and frustration that comes from someone not liking themselves and being displeased and dissatisfied with their life.
The respect must be that you are good generally, however this must not be about being better than others, which also leads to arrogance and looking down on others.
It is about wanting things to be good and not just being better than others.
You can achieve this by doing good which means that you can love and respect yourself, if you do the opposite then that cannot happen and people will be able to tell.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 5, 2013 1 MinuteGood and bad valuesPeople who value power, money, sex and fame tend to want it and go towards evil.
It is not about these things, it is about good and doing the right thing that you should value. As opposed to bad and doing the wrong thing.
If you do the right thing and need power, money and fame to achieve these things, then you will get them in the spirit of needing these things for service, but not for own pleasure and engorgement. So it is doing the right thing which comes first and then leads to the other things coming along, if they are needed for that purpose.
All these things belong to God and not yours anyway.
Of course you may have a mission where power, money and fame are not needed, but you will then get whatever else you need for the mission, such as advice, teachings, energy and so on.
Of course you need to enjoy life and have fun, it is a human need and so is fine. There is no merit in denying yourself what you need, as then you will then not be in a good state to serve others.
Like all such things though, it should never go too far. It is a hard balancing act between getting the enjoyment you need and over indulgence.
So you need to value and worship God, who is morality, doing the right thing, good as opposed to evil.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 2, 2013 1 MinuteHow to succeedDoing what needs to be done to succeed, not just what want to do
A person normally knows in their heart of hearts, what needs to be done for something to work and be successful.
However they do not do that and acknowledge that they should do that, because it is not what they want to do.
They then wonder why they are failing, but in their heart of hearts they really know and think they can just ignore that factor.
For example the person knows that to be successful in business you have to take risks, but they ignore and do not acknowledge that because they want to have an easy risk free life. I also do not want to look at, acknowledge and do risks. So they lie to themselves that it does not matter, when it does.
The man who knows that on dates girls want romance and are interested in girly things. He does not treat the lady like a beautiful feminine lady. This is because he wants and is only interested in blokey stuff. He does not want to look at her girly psyche, interests and hobbies.
He does not talk about girly things with the girl, because he is not interested and so fails. However the girl wants to talk about girly things and is not interested in blokey things.
He does not understand women, because he is not interested in looking at the extreme feminine aspects of their nature and psyche, as it is of no interest to him.
As a result of not doing what needs to be done to succeed and just looking at what he wants to look at, he fails.
In the same way a person can fail, because they do not look at what they do not want to look at. Also they do not do what they do not want to do. However to be successful, a person must look at and do what needs to be done for the thing to succeed.
One reason people do not play the game by how it works and just do what they want to do, is arrogance. Arrogance makes the person think they are above reality and how it works. When they get to this stage, even the best experts advisors and people with the correct answers cannot help the person because they will not listen. Arrogant people are often very angry which makes it even harder to help them.
Persistence
It is the quality of a person’s conviction that determines a mission’s success, not the number of people doing it.
Persistence is essential. Most people fail the first time they do something and the many times they try after that. The person who succeeds is normally the person who tried many many times and did not give up.
When doing something, failure cannot be an option. You cannot go back, you must go your own way and be true to yourself. If you allow yourself to give up, then failure is more likely. You can try different ways, but not give up.
Drive, initiative and courage are also essential, otherwise a person in reality does not do anything.
Need to be able to take risks, the desire for comfort and security can prevent a person from doing this.
Need to be a perfectionist, although a human on earth never achieves perfection, only at the level of god is there perfection.
Need to try and do better and better, trying to climb, reach the top. Only god knows where the top is. It is a spirit of how things are done. This is focused on how well you do things, not about wanting to receive things.
The person is determined, so they do it no matter what.
Focus
Focus on the job of doing it and solving problems, not the rewards such as fame, power and money that you want to get.
Need to focus on what trying to achieve. For example if a person looks at the left when driving a car, that is where they will steer it. If firing a gun need to look at the centre of the target, as the body and subconscious follow the directions aiming for.
Need to focus on the aim, so can go there.
However must not be indulgently dreaming and thinking about the money may get from winning the competition, or the next holiday may be going on. Need to focus on the job.
Needed to learn from others, but over obsession with competitors means not focusing on creating yourself and taking focus away from yourself and what you are doing. As a result will get more and more behind. An example is a runner in a running race, who looks at other runners, they will get slower and slower as not focused on their own running.
Being relaxed and focused at the same time
Doing these things at the same time is when great things are created.
You are relaxed, so you’re not using up energies, locking yourself up with stress and good things are able to flow and happen in and from you.
Also focused to make sure you can perform at your best and do the best stuff. This does not mean focusing on doing one thing, it means concentration on the job.
You could also call it, loose but focused.
Becoming a master
Focus on doing one thing well, people who do many different things are not winners in any field. Yes it may be risky just to do one thing and feel limiting. It is also very boring as when one can do it well, there is less of a challenge and novelty left as you have done it so many times.
Other things may look better, the old story of the grass is always greener. From afar other things look better, you only see the problems when you get close and really get into it. You will probably find it is no better than a field you are already in, just more fun and exciting as you have not done it before.
Do not forget how much time and resources went into learning the field you are currently good and you already know. Moving to something else means you are waisting and throwing away all that time and training.
You may think that a different business does not have the problems and bad points of your current business, it probably just has different problems and bad points.
It takes many years to learn a new field, do not get complacent and arrogant from your success in your current field, to think you can learn another more quickly than you took to learn your existing one.
Need to look at every detail, what juniors may not notice, a master will as has been doing it for so long.
Things should always come out better than last time, or progess is not being made.
You may feel limited, like you are just a one trick pony, but it took a lot to become good at and know your field.
How can something so simple be so good, because ultimate simplicity leads to purity.
Also becoming a master in a field takes many years and a long time to learn, it is a big long term investment. Many people want things now, so choose opportunities that are quicker to learn and so give a reward now. These smaller investments often give smaller rewards, so in the long term never really achieve anything great.
Once a person decides their occupation, they immerse themselves in their work, fall in love with their work, never complain about their job. They must dedicate their life to mastering their skill. That is the secret of success and the key to being regarded honourably.
Being around the best people
The best martial artists are the ones who trained with the best people. When they are fighting them, they are mirroring what the other person is doing.
They can see what good is, how to do it, what it feels like and all the techniques.
This is why the gyms with the best fighters are the ones that consistently produce the best fighters. They have the best there, so others can learn from them.
If you are in an organization such as a school and you are the best person, you’re not going to learn anything.
It’s best to be the least good person in organization where everyone is better than you, so you can learn things. Than the other way around.
Being deserving
A person gets what they deserve, work on being more deserving and worthy. Look in the mirror and see how deserving you really are. The worst waste for a person is to try and get more than they deserve, first work on becoming more deserving.
if a person is a con artist they will not get honest people to do business with.
if a person is ugly they would not get a good looking partner.
a coward will not win a fight
Natural talents
Must do what the natural gifts you were born with are, for example if a person has a sensitive palate and sense of smell, if a person takes it seriously they will get good at it and maybe should be a chef. The rest depends on how hard a person works.
A person must also do what they like and find interesting, or it will not work. Especially if you manage other people, once they detect you are not interested in it any more, then they also will not.
Being liked
Not having a need or wanting to be liked.
So the person can focus on doing what will be effective, not on what will get them to be liked.
A need to be liked and approved of by others can be a huge barrier to bring successful and making things work. This is normally caused by insecurity and vanity.
People who do not need or want to be liked are the alpha males and those who succeed. They do what is right, needed to be effective, regardless of these things.
Of course if a person is hated so much, or people have such disdain for them that others ensure they are rejected, then they will never be present in a situation to make the change.
However the need and desire to be liked and approved of, can prevent a person from being effective.
Examples include:
An organisation where staff numbers have to be cut, even if without that the company will go bust and everyone will loose their jobs.
Fighting, even if the person being fought against is in the wrong and evil, they will hate you even more for attacking them.
People like the person who gives them things, even if these things could lead to their ruin, or the ruin of the greater world or organisation. An example could be giving away money that would later lead to bankruptcy, or have to be clawed back with bigger taxes.
This is because they do not see or comprehend, the long term, bigger picture, more advanced things of what is really going on. Also it can be because they only look at what they want, or do not want, they do not look at what is really going on.
Be okay with being humiliated and disagreed with
Whenever a person does things, there will be people who disagree, weather it is out of their own ignorance, it is against their own interests or they greedily want more.
It does not matter what other people think about whether it will be successful, the underlying truth and reality, is what will determine the success or failure. People behave how they do work, not how they think they work.
So if somebody has an idea, belief or conviction in how something works and they are right, listening to other people who disagree may mean they do the wrong thing, or a less good thing.
There will also be people that want you to fail, or who would like you to be like them and do their selfish ways that do not work. I recommend avoiding such people.
Not lazy and long term
Most people when researching things are lazy, so just make the easy decision.
Need to be committed to the project, totally into it.
They are also very short termist, so just make the quick decision.
This is a source of why they just do whatever other people say, copy and go along with what they do.
This makes such people especially easily manipulated and influenced by others.
Be able to face problems
Be able to face when got things wrong and not blame others. Even if it was someone else’s fault, you should have succeded as shouldn’t have been working with that person in the first place.
When got things wrong use it to learn and improve.
Go out and find the problems to solve and learn from. Not just have head in the clouds about bits you got right and how wonderful you are.
Always try and get to the next stage and level. You may not be able to do it now, but by trying and trying and failing and failing. As long as you change and learn from each mistake, eventually you will get there.
Having a purpose
Need to have passion, emotion and love what do.
A person will not be successful, if they are not doing what they love to do.
From a sales point of view, it is not possible to fake it.
From the point of view of actually implementing it, it is also essential.
If have passion for it, will do it, need to have this to really be able to do it all the time and more than anyone else.
Passion means a person really goes forward and does things, when others have given up and stayed behind.
Need to really care about what do and be interested in it.
Need to have strong emotion as that is the energy that makes it happen.
Money is then the by product, not the purpose. If have that, then will make money.
The highest thing is to do something because it’s right, for the sake of God and otothers. It is the most powerful motivation to really get someone going and doing the right thing. This is because energy will come from the higher worlds if it is truly for God and others.
Also have to find out what your purpose in life is, what are made for. For example Marcus Lemonis found out that his was to connect people.
Commitment
There are many people who would succeed with what they are doing, but they give up too early or do not do it properly. As a result it fails.
There were always doubts when doing something new, but despite these, have to do it properly.
If someone is not committed to doing it 100% and properly, they will not succeed.
A bit like how and actor goes on stage playing a role. If they are not 100% committed to doing it 100%, it will not be good enough.
General
If working with other people, need to be with people that believe in you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 2, 2013 10 MinutesSocial skills (love)This is the elusive x factor, the magic item.
People want love and respect (see article on respect)
If you can give someone love, real love from your inside, your emotions, feelings, spiritual energies and so on, then they will want to be with you, it is irresistible for people. Also they will see you as good, as they are seeing and getting love and goodness from you.
For someone to receive real love is indescribably wonderful for them and a great, irresistible feeling.
Love means that you like them so much that you love them, think they are lovely. As they are lovely, they are immeasurably important to you. As they are so lovely, you want them to be well, happy and brilliant and you serve them.
You value their needs, welfare and themselves.
When this happens, you naturally open up to people, so that they can receive from you on a physical, psychological, feelings, emotions, spiritual and so on level, as you care about them so much. So there is an amazing connection of oneness.
The openess enables them to receive from you. To love someone there needs to be giving and then needs to be opened this for that giving to come out.
Love is the thing that will:
●It will connect you to other people as it is a connection where you are giving to others
●they will feel comfortable and happy to respond and reply to you.
If you are at a party and do not know anyone else, if you love them they will automatically like, feel comfortable with and be happy to talk with you as you love them.
If you hate and disrespect something, then you will want it destroyed, you will naturally be firm and nasty to it. If you love something, then you will care about it, want it to be well and happy, so you will let it have your good energies and so on.
If you hate another person, they will feel it and hate you back as a reaction and also revenge.
Real love is so amazing, it just cannot be defined. It is transendetal, which is why if you give people love when you meet them, they will want to be with you, trust you and so on.
Real love is a thing of wonder and joy, it is a feeling, energy and indefinable thing that cannot be feked.
Real goodness comes from above and you are just a channel, so you must be real and good to people and God.
Be careful to love good and hate evil, otherwise you can be serving the wrong thing.
Love
It is important to love and respect other people, this has to be true and real from the heart.
To do this you genuinely have to love the other people, it has to be so on the inside.
This comes from thinking about them and not yourself.
You as a person love them and this is for the sake of others.
The heart is the soul and that is also around the level of emotions and feelings. People are moved my emotions and feelings, not just logic.
To be able to love others, a person needs to have love for it to flow onto others and to be able to give it to others. If they do not have any love, then they cannot give any, as they do not have any to give. So a person has to have love, to be able to give it.
To do it a person has to be love, have thoughts of love. If at that time they have hateful thoughts of others then it is not going to happen.
Being affectionate, loving to other people, makes you in turn lovable and someone people love. This is because by being loving to others, you then in turn become love and so are lovable.
Loving people means you value and cherish them. You do things for them as you think they are lovely and value them.
It needs to be physical, psychological and spiritual.
Physical love: giving things to other people because you think they are lovely and you highly value them. You value them like you value yourself, or even more than you value yourself.
Psychological (emotions and feelings): emotions are deeper and feelings are a bit more transient, but both can be about love and affection. These emotions and feelings are soft, gentle, delicate, light and wonderful.
If they are harder then it is normally lust which is about you wanting things, please do not confuse the two.
Psychological (thinking): thinking about, looking at and pondering people’s needs and welfare. This is for their physical, psychological, emotional, intellectual ,spiritual needs. You carefully think about and are careful about not hurting their feelings and general well being.
Spiritual: this is about loving, caring about, not being jealous of, wanting to do all you can for and serve god. Ultimately god wants us to do the right moral thing on earth for people as it is god’s creation and that is the best way to serve god.
A view of love
A view of love is that it is when somebody values somebody else, more than they value themselves.
As a result they will even do things for this other person, as a priority over themselves.
The dark side of love
If a person loves another person, it means they think that being is so lovely and wonderful they want it to be well and happy.
However it is also possible to love having things which is quite different.
For example:
if someone loves the taste of chicken, it means that they love the taste of the chicken in their mouth, which results in the chicken is not having a great life.
if someone loves murdering other people, then the love of murder is not conducive to the well being of others.
valuing a bad leader and what they stand for, then harm will be done.
So if the thing loved is not for the greater good, then it can do harm to the rest of the world.
Hate
We cannot talk about love that also mentioning hate. If a person find something abhorrant, disgusting despicable and awful they will hate it, want to destroy it and get rid of it.
It is fine to hate evil, but be careful of hate. If a person hates things that should not be hated, then it is a dark destructive path.
People who hate other people have bad karma and are not nice to be around. Best to be a lover not a hater.
When you like something it is nice to be with them as you love them, when a person is with something they hate, it is horrible because they are with something they do not like. People may like to hate because they are putting something else down down, so in relative terms they feel they are better.
It is better to do things by positvity and love. If you would like someone to like and love you, then you must like and love them. Be a lover not a hater.
Hate is the opposite of love.
General
A real smile comes from loving others and God, then you will be happy, there will be a lovely natural smile and people will want to be with you.
The whole thing is about love.
Love leads on to other things people want, such as approval and acceptance. The idea being that if you love a person, then you will also approve of and accept them.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 13, 2013 5 MinutesSocial skills (being open)All the world is one, things may look separate but we are in truth one with everything.
If you are happy, well, enjoying life, having fun and things are gong well with you then people will want to be with you.
Your good energies, happiness and good feelings will go onto other people, like how perfume goes around a room. When they are with you then will feel happy, fully of good feelings and energies.
When you smile at them they cannot help but be happy back, your good energies have come to them and make them well and happy.
However if you have things that people do not want, such as fear, anger, hate, sadness, frustration then when you are with other people, these things will come onto them, they will hate you and not know why. They will not just now want to be with you because they get infected with these things, these things will also make them behave in such a way that is against others. They will be annoyed by you, hate you and not know why.
So you need to be well for the sake of others, so that if you are well, others will get to have those good energies that come from you being well. As you being well is not for selfish reasons, is for the benefit of others, it is in line with God’s morals and so you will be well.
This is an advantage of being good and not evil. With good, as it is for the sake of others and God, God will give you more good energies as it is for the sake of others and God. You will go upwards and things will go well.
If you are evil then God will not give you the good energies, you will just be a dry husk. Also as you live in fear, you will end up putting up walls and hardening yourself from other people and the rest of the world. This is to try and protect yourself from bad things attacking you. This makes you hard so that no good energies come out and then people will not want to be with you as they cannot get anything from you. Also as you are closed they see cannot you, as you are so closed up and so on. You need to be open so that people can see you, see in you and there is something to look at and be with.
All good energies come down from God, you are just a channel, the moment your ego thinks that the energies are from you, then it all dries up. You worship God and it is all his will. It is all for God and for the love of God.
People like to be with people who are good looking, have a lovely smile as it is nice to see them and a pleasure for them. People do not want to be with people who are ugly and unpleasant to look at as it is unpleasant for them.
However you really must have these things for the benefit of others, if you have them to show off that you have them, you are better than them, they are below you, then they will hate you. If you are a rich man you must open your doors so that others can stay in your house and benefit from your wealth. It is the same with your psychological well being, you must be open so that others can also be better off from your good psychological energies.
You need to be open so that the doors are open for your good energies to go onto other people.
You also need to be open so you let people come into you and be with you.They are with your heart, soul, spirit and connection to the divine. Otherwise they have nothing to be with and be involved with.
Of course you can only let people have things that will treat them properly. Some will want you to be well, others will be nice to you to get things in return. Some will just want to steal from you, take control and steal from you.and those you cannot let in. You have to change according to the circumstances.of what the people are like.
Personal life
On a more basic practical level, being open means letting people know about you, your personal life, what has happened in your life, what has gone wrong, worked well, your heart, passions, interests and all the personal things about you. People need to be able to know who you really are.
Otherwise it is like a person cannot get to know you and you are closed off.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 5, 2013 3 MinutesBullyingHow a bullying victim behaves
Other people will treat you how you treat yourself.
If you behave like a victim then people will treat you as one, possibly exploit you and push you around. If you behave like a success then other people will treat you as one.
If you are bad to yourself, then it must be fine for others to do that too. That can cause people to be bullied and so on.
If that is how you treat yourself, then people will perceive that that is what you must be. No different to how if other people treat you like a prince, then you must be a prince. As the world is one, you are a person like everyone else, so how you treat yourself has the same validity as how other person treats you.
People look weak and feeble if they are scared, but invincible if they are not. This is because:
If a person behaves like they are weak then bullies will see the weakness and take advantage.
A person has to adapt to every situation. When with bullies and evil people a person needs to act and be tough. However when with non bullies of course can and should be gentler. It would be very bad to be tough around nice people as then are not serving good people, also they will not want to know you as not being soft and nice to them.
A person needs to be able to fight to defend themselves and when around bullies this side needs to be clearly visible. When not with bullies there is no need to show it.
Some people do things that attract bulllies
People can subconsciously do things to get bullied, consciously they may not want to be bulled but subconsciously:
they want attention. For example comedian that people laugh at, they get attention and do this by letting other people bully them. This is an expensive and painful way of getting attention, as the victim is being laughed at.
a person maybe in the habit of being bullied. The habit teen has been going on for such a long time they are so comfortable in it and do not want to change. As a result they behave and put themselves in situations which will result in them being bullied.
Playing the Fool
A person may play the fool as a defence mechanism, or to be liked. This is very expensive, demeaning and bad for the person being teased, so it is not good for them.
Of course need a sense of humour about yourself, but these motivations can make it go too far.
1, Playing the fool as a defence mechanism:
This is a belief that if play the fool, it will make the nasty people laugh and be entertained, so they will not hit the victim. This is a dangerous game because the victim is still the victim of being teased, even if the victim believes he or she is controlling it because they are the ones making the jobs. They are of course though making themselves the joke.
2, Playing the fool as they want to be liked:
This is exactly the same as what a comedian or a clown does. They play the fool and so people laugh. Less good people like people who re nice but dim. This is because they inferior to more intelligent and clever people and like to feel better than stupid people. As a result they feel that they are the best and so the winner.
Less good and evil people will like people if they are less then them and allow them to be put down and destroyed by them. They hate and are jealous of people if they are successful and better than them. So in a cheap way of wanting attention and to be liked by such people, they allow themselves to be destroyed by evil people. This is just wanting things from evil people and the price for this is very high. Comedians are paid money to behave like an idiot and be teased on stage, but some people do it as they want the attention.
So should be friendly with good people that want you to succeed and be successful and not do this. Then have no interest in trying to be liked by people where no good can come from it.
Being different
With chickens, if one is a different colour from the others, then the others will kill it. As Darwin said, it is the most adaptable that survives, not the most intelligent. So make sure you change and adapt to fit in wherever you are.
People are scarred of other people who have courage and bravery, so if somebody wants to attack you and you can you come up to them with courage and bravery, they will be terrified of you.
Stopping the joke from working
A person can never be made to feel shame or embarressment they can only do it themselves.
If someone plays a joke on another person and that other person is not ashamed, does not feel humiliated the prank has not worked. It only works if the victim makes it work by feeling and being upset. So the victim needs to act like is fine and all is okay and not changed.
Even better the victim needs to fight back, if they can do it in a fun way then they will not be hated by others so much.
Being the winner or not bullied means have to fight
If attacked, the recipient can still attack back and be the victor. If for example a person puts mud on someone, the other person can still use the mud as a weapon to make the original thrower dirty. If the person who was first made dirty is happy and sees it as a victory they are happy about then they have won.
So people will not pick on that person because they will fight back.
If a person is weaker than the bullies, they may be scared that by fighting, the bullies will want wear revenge and make things worse.
The person should train to be stronger whether it is learning fighting techniques, fitness, weight lifting and whatever they need to become stronger.
They should only fight once they know they are strong enough to succeed, because otherwise they will make it worse.
Some people maybe scarred to fight back because people will hate them for it. It is better to be hated for fighting back, than being despised for being weak and bullied!
Learning about fighting
A warrior must be able to cope with being hurt. Once a person has broken bones a certain number of times, they realise it doesn’t hurt as much as they expect and they do heal.
A warrior can cope with being hurt and that things do not always go well. Even the winner will be hurt to some degree, the person who wins if the person that can survive with the damage best.
In real life a warrior has to be able to cope with bad news, that things are going badly.
Fear will make the warrior flinch and be less effective at fighting, so they must be courageous and not scared.
The warrior must be angry to be able to fight, but the anger is used to defeat evil, so it is good. However the warrior must never rejoice and be happy that someone else has been hurt, because the other person is still life and part of the same universe.
Being hated is better than being despised
If a person is bullied, they will be despised for being weak.
If a person is attacked by a bully, the bully will hate them if they hurt the bully back.
However it is far better to be hated than despised.
Anyway, the person who is the bully is evil, so there is no point in wanting to be liked by them, as the bully will only like evil.
Ultimately, to not be bullied, a person has to be able to fight and win.
ready8 Psychology, Social skills Leave a comment May 5, 2013 6 MinutesJealousyJealousy can put people on a mission to destroy that which they want but cannot have.
For example:
So In a relationship, where a woman has left the man, the man can want to destroy the woman they want but cannot have. This can lead the man to want to destroy her, her life and so on.
Where somebody else wants a posssession they cannot have. For exanple man 1 sees man 2 with a Porsche that man 1 cannot have. This is because man 1 will never have the money for it. Man 1 does not just want to destroy the Porsche, they want to destroy man 2 who is the owner of the Porsche so that man 2 can never have the Porsche.
If there is a job someone would like, that they cannot have it as for example if they are just not capable of doing it. They may want to destroy the people who have that job, the organisation, everything about it to know what could happen can have it so that no one can have that job.
Another perspective on jealousy
Morally the world is one, so if someone has something you should be happy for them.
Sadly though most people do not see this absolute way of seeing things and just judge the world in a relative way. They can only see how well they are, by comparing themselves to others. They cannot see what they are against an absolute way of what is perfect and best and focus bon atriving towards it, like seeing how close or far away they are from God’s way.
These blinded, sleepy, ignorant people just think thst if they have more than someone else they think that they are okay, if they have less than someone else they think that they are not okay. However maybe everone is not okay, or everyone is not okay. Things need to be seen in absolute and not relative terms. These people often just resort to pulling other people down, they feel it is easier to destroy others than to do the positive thing of sorting themselves out.
Yet another perspective on jealously
There are limited resources in the world, attractive women, land, water and so on. There is competition for these resources, people who are less capable to get these resources may rather just destroy those people who can. However of course the world as a whole is worse off for not having those people.
It depends if yoy are a giver or taker:
A giver: sees capable people as giving and creative, without those people there would not be great things and the world would fall apart.
People who give rise and get to a level where they are with great people as that is where they deserve to be.
A taker: capable people just take, if they were not there then I can have it. If they were not there then in relative terms I am better because those better people are not there.
The answer to jealousy
It is for rich people not to show off and poor people not to be jealous of rich people.
Most people have a nice car or painting, not because they get pleasure from it, but as a status symbol to show off. Ti show they are richer than other people.
However as much pleasure as they get from showing other people that they are better than them, the other person gets equal displeasure from being seen as less good than them.
So the answer is not to show off, do things without claiming credit, showing off how much money you made. Yes, you may like showing off, but everything has a price, including making other people feel small.
Of course you must have your talents, good looks, money and all the other things you need to serve others and you have gained by your good karma, but showing off is something else.
If you do have great things then try and share your victories so that people feel part of your team, a bit like how people like great footballers because they feel part of their success, especially if someone is part of their team or a supporter of it.
There are evil people who just want to pull other people down from having the results of their good karma, these tend to be negative people who do not give, and they just take. If there are too many of these people sometimes the only solution is to go away.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 5, 2013 3 MinutesExcessive fear and how to solve itFear:
Fear leads to hate, hate leads to anger and aggression, anger and aggression leads to destruction and suffering.
Fear leads to aggression as a person is wanting to stop something from being lost.
A person with fear is wanting not to loose things, a greedy person is wanting to gain things, so greed can also cause these problems.
Fear can also be the fear of not getting something that the person wants to have.
To be nice to someone you are soft, gentle, open like an open door. To be nasty to something you are like a miltary tank, hard, do not let people see in, but of course that also means you cannot see out. Excessive fear may make you excessively like the fighting like a tank, when you should in fact be soft and nice like an open door.
The aim is to be able to go between each state as is correct for the situation, but excessive fear may stop you from doing that.
If someone has a lot of fear, as they have had it for a long time they will think it is normal. As a result of thinking that is normal they will not be able to see it, so here are signs that you or another person has fear:
1, Feelings of aggression and hate
As said earlier, if you have fear then you are scarred, to protect yourself you are aggressive and so angry. As you see people as a threat you begin to hate them. Once you are being aggressive and hating others then you do bad things and suffering can only follow.
You hate people as they are a threat to you.
2, Wanting things resolved now:
As fear is a selfish thing you want the things to be resolved now as you want the end result now. This makes you rush things which of course also makes you stressed, as it is not correct way to do things this way. You should never rush, or do them faster than the time you can do things, such as speaking fast. You should do things in a methodical way, in the time that you can do them without causing you stress, in the timescales that you can do them well and with a long term view. So for example with fear you may speak fast, move physically fast and not consider things properly.
3, Wanting to control things:
if people are scarred of things around them they want to control them so they cannot hurt them. They may also want to destroy it for the same reason.
Controlling things too much can damage things and not be nice for the other person. This is because it limits their freedom, it is you controlling them so they are not being naturally themselves and true to themselves
4, Speaking loudly:
So with people they may speak loudly, as loudness is aggression as it is like a barrier or block that stops people from being able to get through to you (also it maybe that the person who speaks more loudly is in control as they are giving the orders).
5,Speaking quickly:
This can be because you are scarred and so want to get away, you get it over and done with as quickly as possible because you are scarred that other people will interrupt you, mock you, hurt or even attack you.
It is also just a feature of the fear and worry energies, emotions and feelings.
6, Fast gestures and movements:
Fast gestures that also move sharply, like your hand or other body park moving fast, but also stopping sharply at the start of it’s movement and end of it’s movement. This is a sign of aggression and so you should have soft, rounded movements that start and end smoothly which is more warm and loving.
7, Excessive movements
The person has lots of movement with their hands, body, arms legs etc This is because of all the nervous energy running around and is a reflection of all their nervousness generally.
In severe cases, part of their body may shake.
8, Vibration in the voice is a giveaway of fear. Also the voice cannot make beautiful sounds that make people feel like they want to communicate with you. Fear causes the voice to close up and when you loose the fear it will open up with wonderful sounds that are interesting and engaging.
9, Feeling cut off from other people, you are blocking yourself off emotionally so that people cannot get to you as you are defending yourself from them.
10, Anger, fear leads to anger and aggression
11, Tight muscles:
Rigid muscles, fear leads to aggression and tight muscles is a way of showing that the psyche is cutting itself off from other people emotionally. This is because the body and mind are one. These rigid muscles use up al lot of energy and so makes you tired and less able to do things.
Being open and giving to people, is being soft and open so you can give things from yourself to others and they can get through to you. Defending yourself and attacking is rigid and hard so as to hurt others when hitting them and to not let things through if people are attacking you. So this shows that you are psychologically defending yourself which shows itself in your physical muscles being hard, rigid and tight as well.
12, Communication problems:
Hard time communicating with people: the block to defend yourself means you are blocking your soul and emotions from people so they cannot attack you. However then they cannot feel and experience you that people cannot communicate with you. So they cannot see you, you cannot be interesting as they cannot see and experience you, your inner psyche, soul, self. You are remote from others.
13, People not want to be with you.
Psychologically when you give things to people you are connecting with them, such as them having love, joy, happiness from you, ‘the doors’ need to be open so that it can happen. By you having these good things and the doors being open, they shine onto others. When you are defending yourself, you are closing them so they cannot get to you and of course they also are not getting things from you. It also stops the higher and inner energies that come to you from going to other people as the rigidity from defending yourself from others means it cannot go out to them. So you need to be soft so that these energies can come down and go out to others. You may not be scarred of the person you are with, but the fact that you are thinking about maybe another person you are scarred of, means that is where you are and people will not want to be involved with you.
As fear makes you are angry, aggressive and hate other people they will not want to be with you. People want to be with people who are happy, gentle to them and love them. All things are one, so the fact that this is the case means these things will come over to the other person, as in reality they are not separate from you and is the truth of the situation, their subconscious experiences this and you cannot cover these things up.
Also being like this means that, even if you are trying to cover it up, you are in truth being nasty to the other person and that is the truth of what is going on.
14, Inability to be aware
if you are scarred you defend yourself and so to do this you block yourself off from things, so you cannot experience other people. A wall may keep the burglars out, but you cannot see through it and it cuts things off.
15, Fight or flight,
fear exaggerates things so gets adrenaline going that may not be needed. You really move quickly and it is not good for the body to the person is not good at sex
16, Not being good at things and people thinking the person is not good at things.
Success is caused by being able to focus on the job. If a person is scared and nervous, they are more focused on worrying about if it goes wrong.
This lack of focus, attention, time, thought and energy on the task, because it is being used up on worrying and nervousness about if it goes wrong makes the them useless. This is because they are then not putting anything into doing the job and are distracted.
17, Excessively defending yourself
This is a big one and leads to all kinds of problems, it is a root cause of many of the other points above.
When a person is giving to something they are soft, when they are defending themselves they are hard, just like in point 11 ‘tight muscles’. However it goes deeper than that.
This is like the armour on a tank, or she’ll of a tortoise. They are hard so nothing can penetrate them.
A person is hard, has a barrier to everything and with everything, they cannot function and work with those things. For example:
a, Not able to be aware of things and tell what is going on: As a barrier to everything to defend themselves, they cannot be aware of things on a psychological level. There is a shell and hardness over their aura, so they cannot feel other people’s emotions and feelings, as nothing can get in. On physical and spiritual levels, they also cannot see things.
Even on a basic level, the person will be defending themselves from words that may hurt them, so not listening. Ideas that may be harmful so not thinking about things they hear. This may mean that a person cannot learn properly and do well in school.
b, Using up all their energy, a lack of energy: this hardness uses up a lot of energy. A bit like running with stiff muscles means a lot of energy is being used up, is hard to do, exhausting so the person cannot travel so far.
To create, make and feed this hardness, energy is being used up on a physical, psychological and spiritual level. So the person will be useless and exhausted as all their energy will be used up. This is impossible to maintain and will lead to headaches, fatigue, a feeling of being drained etc. The person’s body will be damaged by the lack of energy as it is all used up.
It takes a lot of energy to build this shell, for example the one above that stops a person from being aware of things.
They also have a lack of energy because energy cannot get in, they cannot get energy from the physical, psychological and spiritual levels. They are defending themselves from it, putting up hardness, so it is not getting in.
So the person cannot get the energies that naturally come from the inner and outer world. When a person experiences something, it is also energy they are getting from that thing they are also experiencing.
All things are energy and by cutting them off, a person is cutting themselves from getting energy.
c, Not able to do things: When a person is defending themselves they do not do things, they are so busy defending what they have that they cannot get out there, do and create more.
They are so involved in their barricades, putting up barriers, that they cannot get out there to create anything from behind their shell. They cannot put stuff out there and ensuring that nothing is taken away from them.
Cures for fear are
1, Selfishness
Not to be selfish about if you may loose things, or not get the things you want or need. Think more about doing the right thing, the needs and welfare of others, serving God. This takes away fear which is usually because you are scarred about yourself. You can be scared for other people, but as that is based on benevolence, sympathy and compassion it does not lead to the lower and negative traits above as it is benevolent.
2, Bravery and Courage
Bravery and courage, especially about the pain and hurt of loss. It is a good thing to feel, ponder, practice and meditate on. Courage and bravery means that the person can cope with, face and take the loss. They can live with and bare it.
3, Habits and traditions
Ask yourself if the thing you are scarred of is here now, maybe it is something that has passed but you are repeating the habit, your subconscious does not realise that it has gone, or you want to be thinking about that thing because it is predictable as it is in the past, a kind of nostalgia? What is the worst that could happen, is it really that bad? What are the statistical chances of it happening to you? Has it happened to you before, often or recently? It may be something that you needed in the past, but no longer need and now is causing you a problem.
4., Choice and using your free will
Make the choice to change, habits are easy and it is difficult to change. The old thing dies, as it is part of you it is like dying yourself.
5, Exposure
Expose yourself to the risk, normally excessive fear is because you were exposed to a small risk a long time ago, often when you were very young and far far more vulnerable than you were now. However as you are now scarred of it, you have not looked at it directly, you may have seen it with your physical senses but your psyche did not look at it. Now your mind has blown it up like a balloon so your fear is that it is sometime of far far greater proportions than it actually is. Not being exposed to it enables the mind to do this as you are aware from the reality of what you are scarred of.
6, Is it Constructive?
Is it constructive? Look at all the things you can create and do, that the fear is stopping you from doing. Things that you can create, do for others and get yourself. It it is far better to look at positive creation and go that way, than just fighting negative things. By feeding the good trees they outgrow the bad weeds.
7, Look at the good
Look at the good, fantastic and awesome things in your life, not just the problems. Look at the bright side of life. People look at what the different scenarios and possibilities could be, need to look at the good and best possible scenarios, not just the bad ones.
For example if I have a fear of heights, once get to the top of a high up structure and can see the beautiful view. The enjoyment of the beautiful view will be so much that will be greater and more interesting than the fear of heights
In all places and times there are good and bad things. To solve problems and progress a person does need to solve the bad stuff and problems. However as humans we cannot always spend time in the rubbish and need to look at and spend time with a good as well.
Also by looking at the good we can expand them, so they get bigger and bigger. Then often the bad things do not matter anymore as they are smaller and smaller compared to the good that is growing. This is like feeding the good trees in a garden, so there is no room left for the weeds and they die out.
8, Focus
Decide to just focus on getting on with doing something constructive. Choose not to allow yourself to get nervous, realise how stupid it is to allow yourself to be nervous.
When energies comes down from above they are neutral, a person’s choices, behaviour, way, posture, manner and intentions determine whether it will be desire, fear, love, lust etc.
So if a person is getting on with doing good and being constrive, this can even be resting to ensure they are going to perform well when they go back to work. This will lead them away from spending time and energy on fear.
However it is important not to oppress emotions, emotions are energy, we use them to feel on that level and area, part being human. Without them we cannot function, will not have energy, there will be no beauty in life and so on. This is simply about doing and thinking about something else, so the emotions and energies go in a different direction.
9, Physical techniques
Physical techniques: As the body, psyche, spirit, divine and God are one, changes with one will affect the others. However changes in the higher ones most powerfully over ride the others. Physical techniques include slow deep breathing, slow gentle smooth movements that start and stop smoothly. Not moving at all and staying still. Speaking slowly, quietly and softly.
10, Psychological techniques
For the same reasons as the physical techniques, try psychological ones. Such as thinking about, pondering and picturing things like love, calmness, rest, serving others, from a selfish point of view being fine if loose everything and God.
11, Hope, Faith and Belief
Look at hope, faith and beliief. On a lower level there is hope which is the opposite of fear. However it is important for the long term for a person to put there hope in something good. For example that by doing good, things will eventually go well.
On a higher level there is faith and belief. From a higher level hope is just sitting on a wall hoping something good will happen. Faith and belief (preferably in the divine) means that if a person does good, they believe good will happen. As a result a person believes they will not be hurt by evil doers and there is no need to be scarred. This faith and belief in good and positive means something good will happen
12, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Techniques)
These are questions a person asks themselves, to answer them they have look at the situation or thing that is causing their fear and then answer.
This means a person has to look at the situation and see what it really is, which is hopefully different from what they believed it is.
Also answering to themselves, means a person is changing their thoughts and hopefully their thinking habits.
Fear comes from a person thinking they are unsafe, so for they could ask.
Here and now am I in danger?
Or a more positive one to bring themselves out of it.
Here and now am I safe?
Others could be about a thing they are scared of happening and they could ask themselves, such as?
Although it is possible, is it probable?
Last time I checked had it happened?
Last time I did it, had it happened?
What is the worst that could happen?
When I looked before, was it there?
13,
Facing the fear in your mind itself.
To face a fear, the person is often looking at the things they are scared of, such as a snake, heights, being with people, etc.
However the excessive fear is in a person’s mind.
So while the thing they are scarred of is happening and the person is around the things they are scared. The best thing is to also look at their own mind. They should look at the words, pictures, words, feelings, energies, etc. in thier conscious mind, which are coming from their subconscious.
By looking at these fears directly and facing the fear itself in their mind, not just the thing they are scarred of, the person can see how the fear has grown out of all proportion and see it for the ridiculous things they are.
If the fear is irrational, the problem is the fear itself in the mind, not the actual thing they are scared of.
14,
Ability to fight:
The world can be a tough place and as much as must be kind to others, must always have that ability to fight if needed. The world is a scarier place if not able to fight and defend oneself.
This is not just physically, but also emotionally and psychologically.
When a person is fighting and is angry, they are focusing on destroying the enemy or defending themselves and not on worry and fear of getting hurt.
This of course needs to be balanced out by making sure it do not become a bully etc. However need to have it for when it is needed.
15. Formative years
This should probably be near the top or at the top. If you had parents that had a lot of fear, these will be passed down to you and you will have the fear as well.
You need to talk about this with a therapist to come to terms with what is real and what isn’t. You need to dig deep into all the attitudes, things you are worried about, ideas and outlooks you have.
It takes the time with a therapist to see deep into this, with all the different angles, experiences and perspectives.
Maybe your parents were scared of certain things, had certain ideas and outlooks and perspectives on life.
These could have been passed down through many generations. Even caused by experiences or mistakes from many generations ago.
You’ll find that you are living life not through what is going on right now, but by how you are set up in your young formative years.
Maybe things are going on with your family and you experience things that were scary. You think that’s life and how it works.
Maybe your parents were rude to you, didn’t give you love, so you have trust issues, insecurities and seek validation.
These things will still exist, but you can build new parts to yourself and grow and change.
16. Worrying is painful
Use your awareness and feelings to realize how worrying is painful.
Worry s a painful thing and experience.
17. Being paranoid makes you sad and depressed
You will also see and experience how being paranoid makes you sad and depressed. This is because you are experiencing the sad parts of life which are the things you’re worrying about.
18. Don’t get involved with it
Just like when a nasty person comes along, it’s best not to get involved with them.
When an irrational, unuseful or not helpful thought comes that you’re scared of something, just don’t get involved with that thought, do something else.
For example if you’re in a plane and you’re having massive thoughts about the plane crashing. Just don’t get involved with those thoughts, get on and think about something else that’s positive.
19. Be courageous
The best way to deal with fear is to be courageous, it’s what heroes are about and what makes them.
So be courageous, then you can be fearless.
A calm person is:
Never worries or stresses, just gets on with it, this makes them more effective as more of their focus is on just getting on with it, or constructively thinking about it. Focus worry and stress is of course an emotion and a feeling.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 5, 2013 16 Minutes
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Invite the pain in, sit with it and ask it what you can learn from it. What does it want?
Make sure you don’t do a relationships just to get validation of yourself and escapism from yourself, as then you weren’t truly connecting with somebody and have intimacy.
Become aware of your psychological pain, this will help guide you through your life of knowing what you should be doing and what you shouldn’t be doing.
You may be doing something that on the physical level gives you pleasure, but if you look at your psyche it’s causing your pain.
This is a great way to know what you really should be doing.
Psychology Leave a comment December 18, 2021 1 Minute
How con artists work and get away with itPeople get so excited they don’t even look deeper at what’s real.
The salesperson encourages people to dream about the product, then people in their greed don’t look at what’s really there.
As a result it’s only possible to cheat a greedy person, as an person won’t get so excited by greed that they don’t look properly into it.
A greedy person would also be so greedy that they justified themselves that is real, even when it isn’t.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment November 8, 2021 1 MinuteCommiting suicideSome people want to commit suicide because they feel huge amounts of shame.
This is often because they were taught to do things in their formative years, such as maintain a family business and they failed.
As they are not doing or achieving what the tribe says they should be, they are ashamed.
It shows how big pride is from doing what the tribe tells them they should be achieving.
ready8 Uncategorized Leave a comment September 2, 2021 1 MinuteBeing engaging with an audienceEngaging people is about energy, whether it’s your movement, emotions feelings, and so on. These are just ways of conveying and giving energy. You need to have lots of energy as that’s what people want.
When you get it right, you are giving so much it’s almost like putting on a dance or spectacular for people.
You mustn’t be at all uncomfortable as then you will make the audience uncomfortable. You can do many bad things on stage, but that is the worst one that is unforgivable as it will repel people.
You mustn’t think about yourself, or how you were coming over, this is ego. If you think about yourself, what people think of you, what they are thinking about how you look and so on, you will become defensive.
If you are being defensive then you cannot openly put all into pleasing the audience.
You have to listen to the audience and please them. Then if they are pleased you will be engaging them.
The audience is interesting, has their lives, and each person has different needs and wants, you must listen to the audience.
If you are interested in what you are doing, other people will be as well. You must have a passion, energy and enthusiasm about what you’re doing. You must also be really excited about it, so they are too.
You also have to sell it, if you think it’s brilliant, other people will as well. You have to behave and be like what you are doing is brilliant.
You also have to be happy, people like to be with people who are happy.
You also behave like you love the person, nothing is too much trouble, you would do anything for them as you love them so much.
Being entertaining is also important, people love to be entertained, such as by telling jokes. If you are boring then nobody wants to be with you.
It’s about life, being alive, having fun.
Whatever it is, even if it’s boring, you can make it fun. Bring in dancing, music, jokes, be fun and all kinds of fun stuff.
All these things also make you charming as people want to be with you.
You have to be honest, bleeding your heart out, say the honest truth of who you are (eg. even if you are not a great person, lonely, scared to death).
You have to bare your soul, not pull any punches, be authentically you. Do not pretend to be better or more talented than you are, just be raw. Then when other people cry, you will cry and have a real human connection that is not scary and it feels good. Then people will be good to you.
Confidence
Steve Martin said of his stand up act.
“When I first started, I decided to fake confidence, because I thought it was important that they sensed I believed. If I was slightest bit nervous about something they could smell it and then they would become judges. If I was the slightest bit nervous about something they could smell it, and they would be
But if I was confident, it’s like “I don’t care what you think.” That worked “I don’t care what you think.”
Lots of energy for the audience
You have to have lots of energy for the audience, it’s what people want.
Before your performance, make sure you have lots of energy and have it to give and put into things
To have lots of energy, relax, dance, sing whatever you have to do to energize yourself and be happy.
Being passionate about it is contagious
Joe Rogan says he’ll watch somebody doing all kinds of subjects if they’re passionate about it as that is contagious.
It’s great to watch people who are interested in things, fascinated and in love with what they’re doing.
People who are smiling with their whole face about something.
If you love the subject and what you are doing
As always, love is the answer.
If you love what you’re doing, and the subject, then people will be interested and love watching it.
If you massively love it, then people will love it even more and want to watch what you are doing.
Be authentic and not fake.
You also have to be enthusiastic about things, if you are enthusiastic about what you’re talking about, other people will be as well. If you are interested in what you’re doing, other people will be as well. This is what makes the most engaging YouTubers and podcasters.
If you making content that you don’t care about. For example, just to make money, audiences can smell this authenticity. Audiences can tell when someone is not authentic.
It helps if you know you’re making content that you care about, you know it helps people you care about.
You also need to be fun, have fun in a way that other people enjoy that with you, be fun. People will even want to do what you do, because you’re fun.
The best way to get people to ignore you, is to be really boring.
Nuseir Yassin from Nas Daly
Be engaging.
Scream, smile, do whatever you can to get people to pay attention.
Are you enjoying it?
If you are enjoying it, other people will too.
You need to take care of yourself, so you can enjoy it.
If you’re not enjoying it, other people will be able to feel it and will not like watching you.
If you enjoy it, then you’ll think it’s all good and will like what you’re doing, so other people will as well.
You need to have fun, be interested in what you’re doing, and let it show.
If you are interested in what you are doing, other people will be as well.
Other things
You need to make yourself fun and enjoyable to watch.
People want to be happy, so you have to be really happy and people will want that. If you are on YouTube, then you have to be insanely or extremely happy.
You must have confidence in the content you’re delivering, for example don’t be like you are just filling time because you have nothing else to say.
It has to be fun, an event, a party.
You also have to be relatable, so people can see their own lives in you, they relate to you and feel how similar you are to them.
You say something and they think it’s funny and relate to it, because it’s something they do as well. Like getting hungry and raiding the fridge at 3am, eating food that is unhealthy and you shouldn’t be eating.
Look into the lense, not the picture of yourself if there is one.
Be certain about things and not uncertain. If you are not certain on something, then be certain about your uncertainty. If you say something without certainty it sounds like a question and you don’t know what you are talking about.
Like you are speaking to a close personal friend
On YouTube you need to speak to the person like they’re your closest friend, so they really feel they are getting to know you and they like you.
You can’t speak like you’re talking to the thousands, hundreds thousands, or million viewers that there are. You need to speak like you’re talking to one person.
Practice talking to the camera like the person watching the video is your closest friend.
You don’t do it like you’re talking to a massive audience, you do it like you’re talking to an individual friend.
It’s the same when you are in front of a massive audience, you look at the people like you’re talking to a close personal friend.
Even if you are the best expert and know more than they do, never talk down to people. Treat people with love and respect and talk up to them.
Be relaxed on stage
Don’t be uncomfortable, embarrassing or awkward as it won’t be nice for the viewer. They would also think you’re unprofessional and not like watching you.
After doing lots of public speaking or YouTube videos, you’ll get used to doing it, will feel comfortable and not awkward.
Don’t be stressed on camera or with an audience audience. Be relaxed.
You have to make it look like it’s easy. This is because if you make it look hard, the audience cannot relax and enjoy themselves.
Don’t
Don’t do things like you are seeking the audience’s approval of you. So don’t do things to get them to confirm their approval of you. A bit like when people look at you through the corner of their eye, to see if you thought something was funny.
If you don’t take yourself seriously, the audience will think they shouldn’t take you seriously. Then they think, why should they be listening to you. However you also have to balance that with not taking yourself too seriously, or won’t be engaging and fun too watch.
Don’t speak in monotone
Don’t speak in monotone, it makes it too boring to listen to your voice. You need to spice it up a bit. You need to be animated and interesting. You need to be varied with your voice tone and put interest into it.
For example, when you introducing something make it big as you’re saying that the thing that’s coming is big and amazing.
People are attracted to interesting things, such as when you hear someone shouting, you want to know what’s going on that’s causing the shouting. Being interesting attracts attention.
Do things intentionally
Don’t do non purposeful or unnecessary movement. Of course you need your hands to communicate, but most of the time when it is not purposeful or intentional, it’s not good.
You also need to be natural and not stiff like a board, it is natural to move around a bit and so on.
If someone on camera unconsciously just wanders off, such as looking away different directions, what they’re saying strays over the place and so on, it’s not engaging
Only move the video camera when it’s intentional or needed.
Speaking on camera
If someone asks you to speak to them, like you would on camera, they would see it as way too much for them.
A level 10 energy and excitement in front of the camera, appears like a 3 to the person watching it on their screen. So you really have to be amazingly excited to get that number up. You have to up the energy.
When doing a recording on YouTube, even if you feel you’re at an 8 energy, you’re probably at a 4
Some people find it hard when speaking to a camera, speaking like they would to a friend. That’s just because the camera is just a piece of electronics and they’re just looking into a camera lens. However, it’s what you have to do.
The way some people do it is even when they are recording to a camera, they’re thinking of the person like a friend who’s watching it.
How to get used to speaking to a camera
Carry the camera around and speak to it, do this in different places, including in public. This will get you out of your old habits.
It has to be personal
Laugh at yourself on camera, this is a good way to get people to like you as you are a real person who can laugh at themselves. It also gets you to loosen up. Read some jokes that you find funny, look into the camera lens and laugh, just so you get used to laughing on camera.
Film yourself in public where there are people around, this will help get you out of your fear of public speaking.
Watch raw unedited recordings of yourself, This will help you get over things about yourself that you may be uncomfortable with, such as your voice, how you look and so on. It’ll help you to start to like yourself and be able to see things from a more impartial perspective. It will also help you to get more familiar with yourself, on and off camera.
Personality
You have to have personality, this will help make you interesting.
For example, there is a woman who has a successful YouTube channel where the viewer is just coming shopping with her and things like that. People watch because the videos because the videos and her have personality and so are interesting.
If the videos in her were bland and boring, people wouldn’t watch them.
Find your authentic voice
Jack Dee the comedian was failing miserably, it was going to be his last performance as he was going to give up after it.
On that performance he had nothing to lose, he was just depressed on stage as that was the real him.
However people found that funny and it was him being the real him. As a result he found his authentic voice and was very successful.
Before that he had been performing like a positive game show host.
James Acaster the comedian wasn’t doing very well. He had thought he would do really well if he was the cool guy who is like the popular one at school.
However that wasn’t him and it was only when he became on stage the person who wasn’t quite so cool and popular that he became successful as he had found his authentic voice and became successful.
You will then find your audience and the people that like you.
If things are going well for you, people want to be part of what you are having
If you are happy, well and things are going well for you then people would like to be part of what you are having.
So if you are a street performer who is happy, things are going well for you and are having fun. People want to be part of that.
Even if it’s just an unknown person performing on the street, people will be drawn to that performer and performance.
It has to be personal
Whether it’s music, or talking to people, it’s the personal stuff that makes a unique and special. You personally may not be perfect, but there’s stuff there and it’s real.
Your personal view on the world, your take on things and how you are.
How you see the world that’s different from how others see the world.
To do this you have to really trust in yourself and push the boundaries.
When there is a successful song and other people try to just do the same thing, so they can be successful too. It isn’t great and doesn’t work so well because they aren’t making it personal, their own personal thing. The stuff just isn’t there.
ready8 Uncategorized Leave a comment August 28, 2021 10 MinutesWhy people get bulliedAccording to Joe Rogan:
The kids at school who get bullied are the ones who are worried about being attacked. Those kids get picked on because the bullies recognize that they can pick on those kids.
The bullies see this vulnerability.
With chickens it’s called the pecking order, when a chicken gets packed at by a dominant chicken, the other chickens come in and peck it that chicken as well. Those other chickens are often cowardly chickens.
It’s based on insecurity, fear and a deep concern from the other chickens that one day they’re going to be the one that gets pecked at.
So if bullies see someone who’s scared of offending someone, stepping out of line, or taking a chance, then the bullies come in and exploit that target.
Bullies tend to be people who are bored and don’t have a lot of hobbies.
ready8 Uncategorized Leave a comment June 24, 2021 1 MinuteHow to not be depressedPeople who are depressed often have very high expectations.
For example, when they have a baby everything will be amazing. However things are difficult and there are challenges, then they get depressed because everything is not amazing.
Maybe the person was brought up in a way where they given the expectations that everything in life will be amazing.
For example, the kids who grew up when their parents were massive celebrities thought life should be like that. The pop star who was massively famous and then like most fame it goes down, cannot cope with the loss.
You shouldn’t expect life to be awful and you shouldn’t expect everything to be terrible. That’s what the middle path is about, you go to middle way.
However having things for your own pleasure comes to an end and that is sadness. So it’s best just to have what you need and not just focus on what you want.
If you get things that you want or pleasure things that’s fine, but don’t be attached to them and you do that by just going after what you need.
If you’re a person who is always after massive happiness and excitement, like a roller coaster the lows will be lower as the highs are higher.
Contentment
The highest highs, although they are glorious, don’t sustain themselves.
By comparison you drop to the lowest lows.
But by comparison, when you burn the even line down the middle of contentment, it rarely fails you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment April 12, 2021 1 MinuteHow to be happyCharlie Munger, the business partner of Warren Buffet says the following. I think it is clever because he says to do it you have to let go of negative feelings.
“You don’t have a lot of envy.
“You don’t have a lot of resentment.
“You don’t overspend your income.
“You stay cheerful in spite of your troubles.
“You deal with reliable people.
“And you do what you’re supposed to do.
“And all these simple rules work so well to make your life better. And they’re so trite.”
His prescription is logical, he says.
“Staying cheerful” is “a wise thing to do,” Munger told Quick, adding that in order to do so, you have to let go of negative feelings.
“And can you be cheerful when you’re absolutely mired in deep hatred and resentment? Of course you can’t. So why would you take it on?” Munger said.
Peace
It is easy to be used to adrenaline and excitement, this means you look for things that cause you that, or get bored when you don’t have them.
However these are things that cause you anxiety, fear and so on. You are basically looking for problems.
So look at things which bring you peace.
It is good to go and get things, but be careful that when you get them, you don’t throw them away as you are bored by them. All because you are addicted to, or in the habit of having adrenaline and excitement.
You need to value peace, as without peace you cannot be happy.
Yes it can be boring, but still value it.
Self love and self respect
To have a happy life, a person needs to have self-love and self-respect. It doesn’t matter having all these things from the outside, if you don’t have them on the inside.
To achieve this you have to have done good moral things, otherwise you will just hate yourself.
You have to be a good moral person for things to work out, if they don’t work out how can you respect yourself.
You also have to allow yourself to love and respect yourself.
Cheer yourself on like you would a football team
People put loads of effort into cheering on football teams, people they’ve never met, don’t know them, or care about them.
You also need to cheer on yourself like you would a football team. If you don’t do that you’ll unhappy.
You also have to celebrate yourself, celebrate your successes, and so on.
Being happy as a person
It’s very easy to think you’ll be happy if you have a certain possession or thing.
Such as you’ll be happy if you have a partner, children, a certain toy, object and so on.
However in the whole scheme of things, these things won’t get make you happy, it’s how you are as a person.
So you need to be happy as a person. It’s not about whether you have these things or not. You are happy and well as a person and not by being attached to things.
So you are happy as a person, not happy because you are attached to things.
Having what you need, not what you want
Wanting things makes you miserable, you are dissatisfied as you don’t have enough.
You need to be able to have enough, or you’ll never satisfied, you just want more.
So having what you need is good, such as you need food to live. However wanting things never makes you satisfied and there’s also the added problem of you are then worried about losing them.
Interestingly people who have a lot, often find that the happiest time of their life was when they lost all their money through maybe some financial misfort. When they had nothing they were actually happiest.
So a person may have lots of power, money and so on. Other people see them and think they’re happy, but actually they’re not. They’re just attached to these things and really wanting them.
Of course it’s good to have what you need, such as medical help, a safe home and so on. However the big difference is between need and want.
Having it for others
If you are happy, then other people will be happy too.
This is because the universe is one, so if you are happy it goes on to other people.
If you selfishly want to be happy, you won’t be happy because that’s just a dark hole of sucking and taking.
If you are happy for the sake of others, so you’re happiness is so that it goes to other people and they get it, then you will be given more more.
It’s like an endless virtuous circle of you being happy so others get it and so you get more. It’s not for you, it’s for others and so it passes and goes through you.
So the best way to be happy is to think about making other people happy.
The best way to feel good is thinking about making other people feel good.
If you are just thinking about yourself feeling good, it’s just a dark sucky path of selfishness that does not feel good.
ready8 Uncategorized Leave a comment December 15, 2020 3 MinutesBeing with yourselfThis is how you are with yourself, regardless of:
1, How you make yourself look to others, you can fake this
2, The job, friends, family and so on.
It is how you are when you are by yourself, even if 1 & 2 are gone. This is your core.
If you have done selfish things, being with yourself can be hard because you have to face the wrong you’ve done. You have to face your negative sides and problems.
You have to face yourself.
Date yourself, like you would if you’re looking for a romantic partner. This will help you to learn what you’re like.
Don’t run away from yourself.
Be content and happy being with yourself.
Be nice to yourself.
Listen to yourself, watch yourself, don’t just talk to yourself all the time. This is how you will learn what you’re about
Treat yourself the same way that you hope others would treat you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment September 17, 2020 1 MinuteBeing in the nowWhen you are worrying about the future and thinking about the past, you are in the ego.
You often worrying about things that will never happen in the future and things that will never happened in the past.
The now is what really is, it is where happiness is.
Being in the now is where you access higher words, spirit, heaven and God, because it’s where the truth of them is.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 3, 2020 1 MinuteLonelinessPeople who desperately have to be with others, it’s often because they don’t want to face or be with themselves.
They don’t want to face the bad things they’ve done, so need to be looking at the outside world and others.
They may have such bad mental constructs that they put their negative energy into others which is why they need them around. They put their stress, worries, concern, and so on into others.
They may also not be very nice to themselves, they push themselves around and so on. For example if somebody came from a very ambitious upbringing, they might push themselves really hard to do things and not be nice to themselves.
To be ok being by yourself, you’ve got to be nice to yourself. Imagine how you treat others, and then think about if you treat yourself the same way.
The big one is to accept yourself and how you are.
The people who can be by themselves for long periods of time, are the people who have dated themselves. This means you see and learn about being with yourself, like you do when going on a date with someone and deciding if you want to be with that person.
They have faced themselves so they are fine with being in their own.
The people who have not faced themselves, have to face themselves when they are with themselves for long periods of time. They cannot cope with being by themselves for long periods of time.
The people who have dated themselves before and so been with themselves, can be alone for long periods of time as they have already faced themselves.
It does not matter if lots of people love you, if you don’t love yourself.
Think about how you would like others to be to you, and be like that to yourself. Be loving, kind, compassionate and so on.
Do not bully yourself to perform better and so on.
People often look at how they are to themselves, how they are to their subconscious. You also have to look at how your subconscious is to you, just like how when in a date, you look at how the person you are on the date with is to you
When things get difficult don’t be tough on yourself to push yourself harder, it makes it even harder to live with yourself and so you get even more lonely.
Some people who are lonely, it’s because they’re not nice to themselves. As a result they need other people to be nice to them. The answer is to love yourself and be nice to yourself. You have to capacity to heal yourself and be good to yourself.
Not cut off from others and yourself
In the same way that you can be in a room with lots of other people and still be alone, because psychologically you’re cut off them.
Maybe you’re scared so have your barriers up, are overly controlling to others, or other things that create barriers.
You can also be cut off from yourself and so feel alone, as you don’t have your own company. It can happen if you’ve been overly tough or controlling to yourself. You need to be soft and gentle to yourself to create a relationship with yourself.
Self worth
People who can’t cope with being by themselves, whether it’s being at home by themselves without the company of other people, having to be with friends all the time, or have to get into another romantic relationship. It’s because they don’t have any self-worth.
They need other people to validate them and show them that they’re okay. They need to have other people around to prove to themselves that they’re worthy. This is because by themselves they don’t have enough self-worth, to think they are worthy.
To not be lonely you have to be authentically yourself with others, otherwise they just have the fakeness which means you’re actually alone because it is not actually you with others.
ready8 Psychology, Uncategorized Leave a comment June 15, 2020 3 MinutesListening to othersTo be a good listener, you have to genuinely care about the other person.
The other person will want to talk because you genuinely care about them, empathize and sympathize. it may take a while for them to break down their wall, but they eventually will, because they can see you genuinely care and are interested.
You are genuinely upset if they have had a bad experience, or are in a bad way and so on.
Because of this they will be able to see your reaction to what you are saying, as you are experiencing what they are telling you.
As a result you don’t need to say much, they can see everything from your reaction.
This means they can see what is going on and what they need to do, because they can see it from how you are experiencing it.
People will be willing to talk because you genuinely care and are interested in them. Their thoughts, feelings and how they are.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 30, 2020 1 MinuteAngerWhen you are angry at somebody or something, you are the person that has anger.
However, having anger can hurt you as well as the other person.
Anger wants to destroy.
If you see someone biting their nails, biting their inner lip, wanting to hurt themselves such as self harm. People often think this is for stress relief, it’s actually that they have anger.
This anger is hurting themselves.
So having anger can be very bad for your health, because it attacks you as well.
That is why forgiving others is important, because it releases you from having anger.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 30, 2020 1 MinuteBeing nice to yourselfPeople who grow up in an environment of achievement and pushing yourself to achieve things, such as having parents who do that. Their formative years can make them have the habit of pushing themselves too hard as well.
The parents were too strict and the child ends up being too strict with themselves as well
The child may also have grown up in an environment where if they didn’t do something perfectly, then they will be punished. Maybe their parents high achievers and the child cannot achieve those levels, so feels like a failure.
People like this can be adults who push themselves too hard and also are not be nice to themselves. They think that if they push and force themselves, bully themselves to do things and so on. They thing this wil make themselves achieve more.
However they can be so nasty to themselves that they can’t concentrate, think or achieve anything.
These people will also be very sad and not happy with their own company, this is because they are not nice to themselves. Other people won’t want to be friendly with them as this is not nice to be around. Also if the person is not nice to themselves, they cannot truly be nice to others, as they are going through personal hell.
A person who is nice to themselves, giving themselves compassion and sympathy will like being with themselves, because they are nice to be with. Think of how you should be sympathetic, compassionate and give love to other people, you need to treat yourself in the same way.
A lot of how a person is stressed and so on is how they are to themselves. Maybe a person will be very stressed in all situations, because they are pushing themselves and not being nice to themselves
A way to understand this is think what it’s like for people when they’re running and doing exercise, they push themselves to keep going.
This is how a person is to themselves and demonstrates this separateness.
A person also needs to understand that they are themselves and their whole being is one.
In the same way you should be nice to others so they are comfortable, relaxed and able to perform better. You should be nice to yourself so you can perform better.
A person who is not nice themselves, is often desperate for other people to be nice to them. This is because they are not nice to themselves and so need it from others. If you are nice to yourself, you don’t need it so much that others are nice to you.
You are being nice to yourself, so you don’t need it from others so much.
If you are desperate for other people to be nice to you, this neediness is a taking thing that also is not nice for others to be around.
Getting respect
Stop trying to get the approval of people who like to disapprove of others, to get their approval you have to do things that you don’t agree with, or are not right for you.
Instead focus on people who inspire you to be great and do good things that are right.
Then focus on getting your own approval.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment March 27, 2020 2 MinutesBeing in the nowBy being in the now, a person can be aware of what is really going on.
This that enables a person to go from the physical world, up to higher realities such as the divine and God. This is because they are in the now which is reality.
Most people are either living in the past or the future.
The past is not dangerous because no what happened.
The future is about dreaming and fantasy of what could be.
People do not like to focus on the now as it is reality. They do not like to take the risk, face the unknown and so on.
Being in the now needs courage, as do not really know what’s going to happen.
Most people when they do something new for the first time have a success. For example the first time someone meditates, they have good results.
However they then spend the next 30 years trying to get the same results again. As a result the future meditations are never as good. This is because they are focused on the past and not the reality of now.
The reality of now means they do whatever is needed for things to work and be real now.
Being in the now also means face that things are changing.
Being in the here and now is easier
When a person is thinking of the past and the future.
They are thinking about the past.
They are worrying and working out the future. Often it’s worrying about a thing that could happen in the future.
However the here and now is here, so it is less work. You are not having to think and work things out that are with you now, you are having to think about and create them.
So being in the here and now enables a person to rest and relax.
To get the most out of things and be able to learn, a person has to be watchful and mindful. However that is still less strain than thinking all the time.
So if you need to rest, one way is to focus on the here and now.
When you are worrying about the future, it can be as horrible to experience it as having that actual thing you’re worried about happening. So you won’t just have the thing you are worrying about in the future, you have it throughout your whole life.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment April 10, 2018 2 MinutesSpiritualitySpiritual:
Higher order spiritual knowledge is only given to people who are mature, wise and seeking to serve The Holy One. ‘Warren, kabballah history book’
Traps that stop us loving and serving higher beings.
The ruling elite generally believe that they are threatened by the unknown as it is beyond their comprehension. Knowledge is power and the primitive mind fears what it cannot command ‘warren Kabballah history book’
If they do not have power over it so they see it as not theirs, a rival. They may also be people who see things they cannot control as threats. This is because they think that others are evil like they are, they are bad people so presume others are bad like them, they are evil so like and attracts like and this is the type of people they are surrounded by and believe the world us like. Like they are a business competing for money, or power so they do not want others to win.
They should see that the world is one, good things benefit all and not just them, or others. They should be happy for the good thing and see it is an opportunity to learn from them.
On an inner level we must not hate god and higher things because we cannot control them.
We must not hate higher entities and god because they are different from us, a kind of inner racism.
We must not be jealous of god, because god has everything in existence. The world belongs to god because god made it.
We must love and cherish higher entities that are good. We must love and submit to God and live under God’s ways.
People normally believe in traditions, habits and routines, which may or may not be based on truth. You need to focus on truth, but realise that traditions, routines and habits do have their place.
Need to see traditions, habits and routines for what they are, they are not truth itself.
In most of the world people are at the top of society because they used force to get there, it needs to be that society is ruled by the wise, protected by the strong and served by the masses.
Serving someone means that they command you, so only serve good people. You need to serve God who is goid.
Whatever you are good at what, your talents are, you have a moral responsibility to do it. It maybe that you have very few talents but you still have the same duty.
Easy to be seduced by success, so a person thinks they can do anything. As a result a person does things that are morally wrong, because they think they get away with it. Also does things which are complacent and arrogant so never work.
Just because a person has done something before and gotten away with it does not mean it works everytime. An example would be crossing the road without looking. Also such things can blow up to be bigger and bigger until they fall down, an example would be getting into debt.
If there is an uneasy feeling on their psychic level, it normally means that someone has lied.
Zev Ben Shimon Halevi’s Kabbalistic View of History book ‘those who lose contact with their souls become what is called the “living dead”, that is, without any conscience. Many psychopaths are in this class.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment April 10, 2018 2 MinutesAstrology and the stock marketJP Morgan Bank ‘Millionaires do not use astrology, billionaires do’
Pluto is in each sign for about 15 years.
Eg. It was in Sagettarius from about 1992 to 2007, so had that it had an expansion and then 2007 came the crisis when into Capricorn.
Debt expanded under Sagettarius and then the practical reality of Capricorn made the problem more realistically viewed.
Pluto is in Capricorn until 2023
So in Capricorn are paying all the debt and excess of the previous years.
In 2017 -2013, so about next 5 years, there will be a crisis about the debt, such as inflation increase, interest rates, or something. This will stop money printing and will create a small drama.
Can look at other planets like moon for short term trading. Start investing in the new moon, which is when sun and moon are in same sign. Never invest in an eclipse.
Investing in new moon and selling in full moon. There are university studies on this. Typing things like new moon stock market into a search engine brings up loads of information on this.
The returns are 3 times greater on the stock market if buy in new moon and sell in full moon compared to just buy and hold. Research on this covers over a 100 year period. Have to consider Pluto for these returns.
Investor needs to work out if want proper returns, or just beating index. No point beating index, if index is going down. Then beating the index, is just making less of a loss than the index.
Mercury when retrograde in that period a lot of news from one place to another and no one knows what to do, so best to do nothing because of most communication. Can still go up if out comes out good news during Mercury retrograde, but is risky as all uncertain so best not to invest during this time.
Need to look at whole chart and interpret it in with regards the situation. It is not a 100% as is not a pure science.
ready8 Business Leave a comment March 5, 2018 1 MinuteDoing things properlyTo win need to focus on doing things properly, not on winning.
If a person focuses on winning they do not do things properly and so not win.
Focusing on winning makes a 101 things go wrong. The person gets stressed, rushes things, works through strength and not skill, not have right mental view and so on.
The person does not worry and so focuses on exactness.
So need to focus on doing things properly and let the technique guide you through to winning.
This is is the same for all things, fighting, building a business etc.
In Zen this is called focusing on the job and not the reward. The person’s thought, focus and energy goes into doing the job and is not wasted dreaming and thinking about the reward. So the person is 100% efficient.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment March 4, 2018 1 MinuteNotesSocial:
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If you like other people then other people will like you. If you hate other people then other people will hate you.
This has to be real, cannot feke this.
Need to be yourself with people, be real. Let the person you are talking to get to know you for you, get to know the other person for the other person. Be careful of using the ‘game’ face that means no one ever gets to know you. If you try and be something you are not, it cannot work.
Self confidence:
If a person has an inner self confidence, they will carry themselves in a way that when they walk into a room, people will notice them.
If you believe that you can do it, others will too, will want to be around you and benefit from your success.
This needs to be from the positivity of doing things well, not about the arrogance of being better than others and looking down on others.
It means you believe you can do it, know you can do it and not have any fear.
A person builds up confidence from the reality of their achievements, otherwise it is just a delusion which is a road to eventual ruin.
Spiritual:
The ego goes around and around, repeating it’s thoughts, actions and feelings. Only when a person goes to their higher Self can they change. The higher self sees things more as the person really is, thinking about others and being impartial. The Self does not just think about and Me like the ego does.The self of a person is at the bottom level of heaven.
Without the ego, a person cannot function in the earthly world,
they think they are the wall the ceiling, the car over there and so on as are be one with everything.
They would not be able to tell relative things, like how light, heavy, strong, weak, big, small things are. Would not be able to identify and function on the physical world for example even sleep.
not possible for people to identify the person, the ego is a mask. For example it enables people to see if a person is a begger, upper class person, doctor, teacher, and so on.
people with not be able to identify the person, because they would be no I, they would just be one with everything.
the person would just float away into the upper worlds.
They would just be elsewhere so not abke to function on the physical level.
So before going up to the higher worlds, it is also important to make sure the person can come back down and that means being able to build the ego back up again!
A good way to do this is to meditate on the ego. Also to get back to earth to meditate on the senses and physical world. We are where are our consciousness is.
If the ego is too strong a person cannot be spiritual, if it is too weak a person cannot function effectively, or at all on earth. The answer is to be able to build it up and reduce it by choice.
Zev Ben Shimon Halevi
These are not word for word quotes, but try to catch meanings of what he said and wrote.
The highest treason is to do the right thing for the wrong reason.
Animal people used to murder other people to get to the top, now they murder other peoples’ reputations. However before they get to the top, karma means it comes back so they never get there.
You need to be aware of the spiritual principles behind everything, if a tribe invades and exploits another country, then another country will come and do the same to them.
When you go into a room, you can tell who are the people in spiritual work, they are the people in the room who are watchful, whereas the others are just talking about themselves and their issues. People in spiritual work also have a lightness about them and a refinement of their features.
To be able to experience the upper worlds, you need to be awake, at attention. Most people just sleep walk through life and as a result do the same normal routine. For example they go to work at the same normal time and route, just sleep walking on their way to work and back.
Every action has consequences, as you develop more, you become aware of that.
If a person is mean psychologically, their physical body will then be hunched and bent over, stiff, with mean looking physical features. They will have mean a physical appearance as the psyche infects and affects the body. This will come over in all aspects of the physical body’s appearance, such as mannerisms, muscle tone, voice, expressions, posture, physical features and so on. (this is more a description of what Zev Ben Shimon Halevi acted out to explain)
The field force of the psyche surrounds the body by a couple of feet on average.
The soul make choices, it changes and adapts to circumstance and really does the working things out. The ego just reacts to whatever is going on.
The psyche goes on from life to life, the body does not. The psyche is what does thinking, the brain is just a telephone instrument between the body and psyche.
Feelings come and go much more quickly, emotions are around for longer.
Unless one is well grounded, mysticism can lead to madness. Such as Abulafia who in the 13th century was jailed for trying to convert the Pope, he was also a Holy Fool.
Angels are beyond the physical senses.
No one can escape the responsibility and so the karma, from accepting or rejecting the conduct of leaders or the masses, a person can either go along with what is being done or rebel against it.
The aim of the universe is to evolve, the aim is not to be happy.
We are in earth to learn. When something happens to you ask why it is really happening and what is the lesson.
‘There is no religion higher than truth’ he was quoting from elsewhere.
It takes most people many many incarnations to escape the wheels of karma. Some people may be able to escape the physical level in one lifetime, psychological in the next lifetime, spiritual in the next and then the divine, but they are rare. A bit like the person who manages to get out of jail quickly.
The ego is needed to function on this earth, without a person would the dead. The art though its the higher parts of yourself to control the ego. Like the driver controls the donkey, not the donkey controlling the driver. The ego is a tool, you control it, not it control you.
Often before an impending disaster, the most sensitive, intelligent, and shrewd people leave, removing with them many of the precious artifacts and ideas of that civilisation.
Men and women who volunteer to take on dangerous work as is their mission, can do it as know death is not the end.
Visualisation meditation
Zev Ben Shimon Halevi says that in visualisation meditation, if the images are coming from yesod/the ego, you have trouble keeping up with any guided meditation as things have to be processed which is harder and slower. If they are coming from to teferet they just come through.
It if it is coming from the ego it has to calculate, process and is trying to change what is coming in for it’s own convenience.
The first image that comes through is normally the right one, the later stuff is often the ego trying to change it to what it wants it to be. Unless of course you are able to ponder at teferet for long periods, most people can only keep at teferet for a very short time, so it is just the original flash of image which is the true one.
Images from the ego can be identified as they tend to be fantasy, fearful, tinny and unreal, over dramatic and so on.
Images from teferet are more real.
If images are coming from yesod, to stop this and get images coming from teferet, ask ‘what is the truth’, ‘what is really going on here’, tell the ego to get out of the way.
If images are coming into the mind immediately, they are coming from teferet. If they take a bit longer, This also means the people who are doing a visualisation meditation from the ego are much much slower.
Generally sourced information
When you make mistakes and do things wrong, you need to be able to own them and not say that they are somebody else’s mistakes. Then you can progress, develop and learn.
You have have to advise people if they will listen to your advice, however you also have to be let to go down in flames, down to the bitter end of the result of their mistakes, if it is a path they have chosen despite your advice, or they just do not learn.
Listening
Hold back in conversations and listen, then ask questions. Do not talk at people, you need to hear what they say, their truth will come out in that sentence.
Attracting women:
Women want a man who will be a good father to their children, good with their children.
Women also want a good husband who will be nice to them.
Women want security and they get that through marriage, so women want to get married.
Men look at sex and having it with a beautiful woman. Women look more look at the relationship, whether it will work and last.
Women are wary of if a man just wants to have sex with them. They will make sure the man wants a relationship with them and the sex stuff comes later.
Women mainly get divorced from their husbands because their partner is taking then for granted and they get bored. It is easy when I get married to think that that is it and stop working at.
Also it can be that one or both partner changes, so they are no longer relevant to each other
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 24, 2017 7 MinutesDoing what is needed to succeedTo succeed have to look at what market will pay for that is profitable.
However this can lead to conflict that some entrepreneurs cannot cope with. They will not make decisions that are unpopular with staff, or even just things that they do not want to do themselves.
When a customer goes to buy something they do not care about how the owner treats friends, family, does what he or she enjoys etc.
So the owner has to make whatever decisions means will meet the market wants.
There are many things which can prevent this:
1, to succeed need to hire the best people, but instead of the owner routines and hers people they are friendly with and family.
If a business does have people who have friends and family but are also not the best people possible. The owner hould help them to succeed, but make it clear the targets they have to meet or they will have to go to another job or another company.
2, Doing what is prestigious and brings respect. Again this is something the owner made like, but the market does not care and is not necessarily wha brings the company money.
This desire can also cause extravagant, wasteful spending and unnecessary spending.
3, Doing what is fun. Again this may not be something that makes money.
4, The lazy options
5, Not doing hard things: Such as firing staff that should be fired because not want conflict.
6, Taking a side of the staff when they are acting in their own self interest which is not that of the customers’. The customer is the buyer and without them there are no jobs, so have to take the customer’s side.
For example staff may want the company to charge the customers more, so they can be paid more, or can look after less customers as each customer pays more. However this will lead to less customers and less satisfied customers.
However by serving the customers with what they want, there are more customers and some odd jobs are created
Of course owner must be as nice kind and gentle with people as possible, but what the market wants for products and services, how it delivers and creates that, is a fundamental truth that cannot be avoided.
Just like with football teams there can only be one winner. Those are the top of the league have most of the market and the rest get very little, it is the same for companies. To achieve this a company has to be the best to do that have the best people.
7. Not just doing what you did before. This may seem safe, but it doesn’t work and isn’t fulfilling.
Of course learn from the past, but listen to your ideas and see how things really are.
ready8 Business Leave a comment August 1, 2017 2 MinutesRunning a business (numbers)If a person does not know the numbers in their business, they do not know their business.
Most consultants have never met a successful business person, who does not know the numbers of their business.
Numbers do not lie, which is often why people do not want to look at them because they will say the truth which can be bad news.
Liars, cheats and failures will also not want to discuss their numbers in a business as they also reveal the truth of what they are.
Key performance indicators
Key performance indicators can be very revealing.
Eg.
How many sales a salesperson got that month.
How many sales a salesperson per hour they worker that month.
The average length of time a customer will stay per account manager.
The gross profit of a product.
It is possible to manage very large companies, by just seeing who is doing well and who is doing badly from the numbers. Just like and see which football team is good and which is bad, from their goal scores and matches.
Many people do not like this as it shows their failure or mediocrity.
Question everything to find out more
When find out a number, then ask questions.
Then research the answer to that question using numbers.
Then will find out new revealing numbers.
Eg. How many purchased items returned to company. Then may want to ask how many returns by the person that made it, product line etc.
Variance reporting
Variance analysis is a useful way to find things out.
Normally 20% of people are great, 60% okay and 20% of rubbish. The bottom 20% do more harm than good and the organisation would be better off without them.
The top 20% show how it should be done and what is possible.
So look how well the top 20% are doing. Then everyone else is either less good, lying, or just being lazy doing the least they can get away with.
Can go further and look at the top 5%, 1% etc.
The big thing though is comparing the different numbers from different people, units, divisions, etc.
Thesw variants can be used for customers, suppliers, products, people etc.
Also look of variations over time, location, size etc to see if a change over time somewhere shows something has gone wrong.
ready8 Business, Management Leave a comment May 29, 2017 2 MinutesWhy third generation businesses failDelusions of grandeur starting with second generation makes them fail.
One makes it
One caretakers it
One looses.
Delusions of grandeur the second generation gets from their expensive education, money flowing around makes them fail. As the delusions of grandeur means living off the business and not running it.
If it passes the third generation it will survive as then they have gotten the processes for doing it correctly..
These are normally things such as seperating being in the family and the business, so in business from merit. If no good then get chucked out of the business, but still in the family.
The people know the rules, such as cannot automatically get a job in the family business.
Not have to do what is needed
When a person first comes to a new country as an economic migrant they have to do whatever is needed to make money, whether it is boring, unglamorous, tough, difficult, or whatever.
However the third generation person with money does not have to do this. So they just do what is fun, gives them pleasure and so on.
However these are things that other people will happily do for free, so on average does not bring in so much money. Some of these things can make money, but only the rare exceptional managed it.
The third generation person as they do not need the money, often does not work hard enough and diligently enough to even achieve this for a possibility.
This is because they just focus on what is fun, not the hard difficult unglamorous and difficult graft, also repetitive stuff that does become tedious.
The third generation person tents to have so much money they can play around like a child, they do not have to be an adult. An adult has to take responsibility and resolve problems. The third generation person just throws money at their problems to resolve them and not effort or work.
ready8 Business Leave a comment March 28, 2017 1 MinuteActingWhen a person pretends to do something or lies they do it excessively.
A person pretending to look at something, will do it so excessively it is like their eyes are popping out of their sockets. (Constantine Stanislavsky)
A person pretending to move will move with such exaggerated movements it does not look real.
A person who is lying, will talk about their story excessively, because they are trying to prove it to be true. This is a good way to see that someone is lying, they talk excessively talk about their story, in such detail and for such a long time. If it were true, they would feel no need to do this, or even bring it up and go over it all.
So the answer with acting is not to do it an a way that proves or on purpose shows it to anyone.
The only way to really do it is to do it for real. for example look at the item for real and do things for real. When doing something for show, it just looks silly.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment December 8, 2016 1 MinuteLeadership (verbal communication)Being a leader
A dog can be controlled with tone of voice.
High tone is telling well done.
Low tone is strict discipline.
Human beings react in the same way.
In a crisis
If there is a problem or crisis, speak slowly as then have authority. The person will have this authority, as are speaking slowly, so people can understand and carry out the order.
Speaking slowly, slows things down so people can act correctly.
If shout at people when there is a crisis, it is like pouring petrol on the fire, the people get more anxious and it gets worse.
The problem is if the person panics they speak faster and they shout. Then they increase disconnect between themselves and those they are leading.
So in a crisis to ensure people listen to you, speak slowly and in a low tone. Also if there is time ask people if they are okay then they will feel part of it.
Unless it is a crisis where there are seconds, then need people to just do it. This is because the situation can lead to other bigger problems, so has to be resolved quickly.
If someone has a personal problem
If someone has a problem and are sad, then be more sympathetic and speak in a normal human voice, asking if they would like to talk about it. Then you listen to them.
Must be very careful to use the right time of voice at the right time, or other people will fall apart.
ready8 Management Leave a comment November 19, 2016 1 MinuteHow to not go into the friends zone on a dateWhen a man is speaking with a woman that he wants to be with as boyfriend/girlfriend, it is very important that a man is romantic, loving, affectionate. The man loves her, gives her love.
The man creates a romantic mood of love, kissing, cuddles, hugs.
This is done with the mood, emotions of the man, how he looks at her and behaves towards her, speaks to her etc. He is a lover.
Woman wants a man that loves them, wants them, wants to look after them, thinks they are incredibly beautiful etc.
Also he must be a man and male for her. He must be nice to the lady and treat her like a lady. However he is a potential boyfriend and must act like that, not like a potential female friend for the lady.
Without this it will just be like friends and the man will be a friend, and not become a boyfriend etc. As he is not a male and that is what the woman wants and is attracted to.
Some guys focus on trying to be the woman’s friend, people want friends like themselves, so he ends up acting in a feminine way. You are not being their friend, you are being their boyfriend, a male.
Of course it’s nice for the woman if you are the male version of them.
ready8 Attracting women Leave a comment October 25, 2016 1 MinuteIdentity and spiritualityWhat a person identifies themselves with is very important.
If a person identifies themselves with their ego, they think that they are separate to everything else, so things are I, me and mine.
It is best to identify yourself with being one with everything else and being one with God.
Then realise that you are one with everything else and one with God.
So you are God and god is you.
You are everything else and everything else is you.
All is one.
To become aware of consciousness, can identify yourself with consciousnes. Then not so obsessed with your thoughts, emotion and body.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment July 25, 2016 1 MinuteHow to make great productsNeed to compete with yourself:
You have to be your biggest competitor, not somebody else to compete with you. You have to compete with yourself. If you have a product that is very successful, you have to think immediately what is the next one? Can I do it better? This to a certain extent was the success of Commodore.
Jack Tramiel Commodore Computers.
A great product is you
A product that is a copy of other products is always empty and shallow. To make a great product that cannot be easily copied, have to put you, your heart and soul into it all parts of it. Then you have a product or service that is unique, competitors can never copy you in the product. Then it is not just a commodity that can be copied by others.
Jason Fried and David Heinemeier’s book ‘Rework’
Simple
Great products do a few simple things and do them well. They are easy and fun to use.
Focus on what you are and do
If I creating a product to compete with something else, the competition are setting the rules, parameters and you will be behind them.
Need to look at what problem you are going to solve and solve it, work out the rules for yourself. Then are not being constrained by what others have done and doing.
Is not even about beating the competition, you are doing something separate and different.
if I just copying everyone else, what is the point in your existence.
(Influenced by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier’s book ‘Rework’)
Of course when starting need to learn from others and also learn from others as well, so it is a balance.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 11, 2016 1 MinuteCreativityCreativity is a high spiritual thing. As a result it cannot come from earthly paperwork and management processes which are not of that creative place.
Creativity means coming up with ways and things that did not exist before.
It cannot come from ego which is just about habits.
Selfish people are just focused on getting all they can for themselves so are not creative. To be creative need to be focused on creativity, creativity itself and cannot be for yourself as that pulls it down so no longer on the high creative level.
Creative people come up with things that are on other levels. People who just work really hard and do not use their creativity, cannot do this. Creative people also create ways to get as good results in one tenth of the time and work.
This is why people who just work hard on for example manual labour, cannot get to the levels of creative people. They cannot see or understand what is happening on those levels.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment May 31, 2016 1 MinuteAdvertisingAssociation
People look at what a product is associated with.
A certain Jaguar model in the 60s was driven a lot by East End gangsters. People did not want to buy that car unless they were an East End gangster, because I did not want to be associated with that.
If a product is used by a well respected celebrity, they want it, because then it is associated with that.
Values
Steve Jobs noticed that marketing is about values.
Very hard to be noticed in a noisy world, so need to be clear on what want people to know about you.
Talking about computer speeds and specifications are a waste of time.
Nike adverts just honour great athletes and athletics. That is who they are and what they are about. So customers feel something special and not just a shoe company.
They do not mention their products, why their air soles are better than rival’s shoe soles, that they make the commodity of shoes.
As a result his early Apple adverts just showed great people.
So the Apple Computer adverts show who is Apple, what does it stand for, where fit in the world.
Apples ads showed people who had passion and so has been able to change the world for the better. It touches the soul of the company. That shows what the brand is about. It honours people both living and dead, who have changed the world.
So the Apple brand is built.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment May 15, 2016 1 MinuteInnovationInnovative products are discovered
Dr. Land said: “I could see what the Polaroid camera should be. It was just as real to me as if it was sitting in front of me before I had ever built one.”
Both of them (the second Being Steve Job’s about the Macintosh computer), had this ability not to invent products but to discover products. Both of them said these products have always existed—it’s just that no one has ever seen them before. We were the ones who discovered them. The Polaroid camera always existed, and the Macintosh always existed—it’s a matter of discovery.
From ‘Being Steve Job’s boss’ on Blomberg website.
The universe is what the universe is, this is just discovering what can be done in it and what the universe is. They have not created it, it was already there. An idea is a pure thing and then a person runs with it.
ready8 Business Leave a comment May 15, 2016 1 MinuteWritingGood writing is about more than words, it is knowing how to communicate.
Making things easy to understand.
A person putting themselves in somebody else and where they are.
Knowing what to omit.
Ability to think clearly.
Writing what is easy for your reader, not what is easy for you.
Share information that is genuinely valuable, then will get a loyal audience that regularly comes back by itself to see what you have to say.
Writers who are more concerned with the equipment and gadgets they use to produce their work, more than what they actually produce, normally produce nothing of value, as they have nothing to say.
(The above was learned from the book ‘Getting Real’, by 37 Signals)
A person never knows if they really understand it, until have to explain it to someone else.
Life is simple, things can be put in one sentence. If not, the person does not understand it, or does not want other people to.
A writer should only write when they have something to say which is if value to others.
Entertaining people
This is written about the average person, of course each individual is different.
Most people read for entertainment, not to learn. That is even so when they read the news. So even learning things have to be entertaining. This can be done with stories, anecdotes, jokes and metaphors.
People do not want to be bothered to read long things, so they have to be short, snappy and amusing. Even long articles need to be broken up into separate sections, each with different titles, icons, images, layouts and so on, to make each section different, fun and short.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment May 8, 2016 1 MinuteInvestment evaluation financial ratiosThe best ratios to see if a company is good value and will go up in value.
1, Return on assets = assets on balance sheet divided by profits. A high profitability compared to balance sheet, shows are good at getting return on capital.
It can often be seen that the stock market has done this assessment poorly when valuing share prices.
This is from Neil Woodford, who is a value investment fund manager.
2, Cash flow statement: As profit and loss and balance sheets come from accruals accounting, where things are accrued, rather than cash, companies can create all kinds of things using accruals that do not exist.
Examples are invoices which unlikely to be paid, things which on historical value seem valuable but on the market are worth nothing etc.
Cash flow shows if the company is really making money.
3, price earnings ratio (p/e) : company share price divided by it’s profits
4, price earnings growth (PEG): it is from Jim Slater’s book ‘The Zulu Principle’.
Price divided by earnings, eg. £1 share price, divided by £0.05 per year =20.
Then divide by expected growth rate of company, eg. 20 /10% =2.
So a lower end number is better.
The prediction of growth needs to come from it having shown growth, out of at least 4 of the last 5 years.
5, Altman Z score
5, How successful have the managers previously been. Either look at performance where the head managers have been before, or easiest companies where the head staff been there for 5 years or more, so can see their results from that company’s performance.
Best to invest in businesses where head managers tend to stay around, as show they want to grow by getting results and not jumping around to try and get better jobs.
6, Macro economic cycles: Normally about 7 years between boom and bust.
A cycle that was first recorded in the bible over 5700 years ago in the bible and has stood the test of time since. It was mentioned as a dream of Pharaoh, analysed by Moses.
Also using Google Finance to show long term total stock market valuation indecises will help show this.
ready8 Business Leave a comment February 13, 2016 1 MinuteConcentrationThe ability to concentrate makes a person very powerful.
Signs of real concentrating
If a person is concentrating on something properly, then all sorts of other things that they are not concentrating on can happen and they will not even notice. An could be reading a book and they do not even notice an explosion.
How to concentrate
The first thing is not to be selfish. Being selfish means a person is led astray by whatever things appear that they may want. This can make them excessively scared in scary situations, excessively excited in exciting situations that means they do not concentrate.
Emotions and feelings are essential, they are a person’s energy, what they use to feel on a psychological level etc.
However selfishness can make a person’s emotions and feelings so unbalanced in certain directions, that it will be impossible to concentrate. For example if someone is excessively excited about a reward or scarred of loosing something.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment January 23, 2016 1 MinuteDiplomacyDiffusing an aggressive situation
To diffuse a person who is being aggressive, need to do the following.
If you are like these things, it will affect the other person.
By you being a certain way, it affects others.
•Act in reasonable way so they feel that, are effected by it and do the same.
•Have a relaxed, easy going and tolerant manner, like everything is fine and nothing to worry about.
•Remain calm
Listen to what they have to say. This is so they do not have to fight to be heard, you can empathise, be sympathetic and compassionate to their situation.
As you are on their side they will appreciate that. You are doing all you can for them.
Give them attention and so look them in the eye.
Be reasonable and say reasonable things.
This means that both parties do all they can to do the best.
By morality being there, people are influenced by it and do the best. By you being moral, it influences and effects others.
However angry and frustrated you are, must not act from that. Need to act from love and giving to others. That is what other people want and to receive, not your frustrations.
A temper is a luxury cannot afford. You are the one that calmly goes in there, points out that both sides want an agreement as they both have things can gain by getting from the other side. War will mean both sides get hurt.
They may be angry with the previous person they were talking to. By talking with you they can start again, there is no loss of pride from backing down as their argument was with a different person.
ready8 Philosophy, Psychology, Social skills Leave a comment January 14, 2016 1 MinuteHow to be a successful entertainerSpeak to the audience like they are your best friends. So for each person is like the entertainer talking to them and the show is just for them.
People want to see life and energy, so do and be that.
Do the entertainment with the audience, not at the audience. Of course the audience does not have to do anything.
After each performance, look at it, as always can do better. Then next time, do better. If want to be a good entertainer, will never be satisfied with how you have done. Otherwise will never be a great.
Always be original, yes it means you a different to other performers, but that is needed, otherwise there is nothing new and the audience will be bored by the same old thing.
With stage fright abd being nervous, remember that the audience wants you to be good at entertaining them. So wants you to be good.
Comedy
For comedians they want to see a jester, like the old court jester. The jester is the fool and idiot, they want to see somebody who is nice but dim and stupid. By laughing at them and what happens to them, they feel that the people in the audience are better than them, and that is what they like. They feel like they are winners and superior.
To be funny, the comedian has to feel funny. That is actually funny feelings, not just believe that he/she is funny. However need to be careful not to hurt or damage yourself.
Need to learn the trade, how to read audience facial expressions, how to play a theatre.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment December 24, 2015 1 MinuteResponsibility and RiskFor a person to succeed they must take responsibility and risks.
Not being a sheep
By a person taking responsibility, they can do whatever they like as they fir pay making it, doing it and also for the consequences if they are wrong.
This means they do not have to do what others tell them, because they do not need their approval or resources to do it.
So they can do their ideas, views and actions. They are free.
If they want others to be responsible as they do not want to take the risk themselves, then they must do what others agree to.
Without taking responsibility and risks a person will need others to do so, or there will not be anything.
So the person ends letting other people take responsibility and for this is effectively done by doing what they are told by the person who takes responsibility. They also end up doing what everyone else does as then they are not responsible and they can claim that others are.
This may seem to be easy, comfortable and pleasant. However this is just going along with the average.
Also if a person does not take responsibility they have no control, as they have given that the person who takes responsibility.
The reality of the universe is bigger and greater than what people decide to do and whatever people decide to do, reality and the consequences will eventually catch up with them.
Being at the bottom of the hierarchy
This refers to who are the entrepreneurs and managers, compared to who are the workers.
The people at the top are the ones that take risks and responsibility. They are the ones that take the risk and hire the other people. So they are in control
On business they are capital and wealth as as they that take the risk. It is the people employed who get paid each month or week even if things succeed and fail. As a result they work and get the money from the owner who is the one that has taken the risk. The owner gets the profit.
Creating
So to be genuinely creative, need to be true to yourself and do what is right and not what other people do. To do this a person has to take responsibility for their choices and actions.
This means taking the risk in case they are wrong, as a person will only truly know once they have or are doing it.
Without risk they cannot be trying anything new and going beyond the limits of what they can already do.
Normally countries and things are created by a person taking responsibility. Then other people want to have it, control that person etc.
Morality
To be truly moral, a person has to take responsibility for themselves and their actions, without this they cannot know if they are doing the right thing.
Also otherwise they are doing what the average does and everybody else does. This is not necessarily doing the right thing.
Not doing routine, habits, and traditions
Doing what you did before, may seem safe, however it is not necessarily what works now, or even what was the best thing to do in the past.
Listen to your ideas, look at what is really going on. Also, things change and you need to be aware of that.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment December 3, 2015 2 MinutesGreat DesignGreat iconic cars were originally designed to be great. There were no cut backs or compromises. The truth of the car’s ability is important.
As they are so good at what they do, they become icons.
If the manufacturer thinks they can cut back to save costs, because the item is already really good. Even though then it will not be quite so good. The product soon becomes not good enough and not the amazing thing it was before This is because it is so hard to make a great product and this will take away from that. Have to aim to make a fantastically amazing product.
They also need a great artistic designer to create a beautiful exterior and interior. Beauty is important.
Also taking a functional object and making it into an emotional object.
Creating joyful experiences and making people feel that they are rich.
It also needs to be seen with aspirational people and surroundings to make the product associated with these things.
People also want designs to be escapist and fantasy, so they can escape their everyday problems and boring lives.
People also want designs to be fun, exciting and entertaining. The best way to hide something is to make it so boring, no one wants to, or is interested in, looking at it.
Creating a design with great things in it
Great design is where the designer has really put their heart and soul into it, there is no other way and it cannot be faked. This creates a design with heart and soul.
The designer also have to care about spirit and beauty, for those things to be there.
To create great design, the designer really has to care.
All these things can be seen, experienced and felt in the design.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment September 18, 2015 1 MinuteHow to find out what someone is really likeFeel them
Feel the person feel them out got a person can fake externally, but your feelings will reveal the truth.
It is possible to feel if someone is judgemental, kind, evil, angry, happy etc.
If you start to feel angry when you are with a person, that person is angry.
As everything is one, you can see them by the effect they’re having on yourself your feelings, your thoughts, your spirit etc.
Observe
This is not just seeing, it is observing looking. By practicing this skill a person’s observation gets better and better and they see more and hear more and more.
Consciousness
Everything is one, the whole universe is one. So by putting your consciousness on another person, you can experience them, the physicality, psychology, spirit and connection with the Divine.
You can do this and experience, as much as you can your own self. This is just by focusing your consciousness on them.
Experience
The more you experience different kinds of people, then the next time that facet presents itself in another person, you will recognise, be able to see and understand it from before.
Be interested in others
Most people are not aware of others because they are not interested in others. They are so obsessed and involved in the ego of I and mine.
To be aware of others have to be interested in others, not just I, me and mine.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 28, 2015 1 MinuteHow to writeI believe it is important to:
•write from the heart
•be very honest and confess about what you are, have been through and have done
open up
That is where the real reality, emotion and energy is.
That will get past any fakeness and will touch prople. It means there is something there, with real life and not just an empty ego nothingness. A more rounded and interesting person.
It means a person has to be okay to be vulnerable and willing to reveal their flaws.
It does not matter if people see the person in tears, what matters is the truth.
Authenticity
A piece of writing is only authentic and real when it is written from a person’s own experiences; otherwise it is just a theory.
This is why a person does best with their writings, when they stick to their own field and areas, that they have experienced in their life themselves.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment June 17, 2015 1 MinuteSocial Skills (competitiveness)Competing with people means not making friends.
A person likes to know people who are like themselves.
Being friends is about mutual empathy, so experiencing things together, comunity, togetherness, sharing, service.
‘Do not walk in front as I may not follow, do not walk behind as I may not lead, just be beside me and be my friend’.
When a person competes with another and wins, the looser hates the winner as they did not get it. It also shows the looser that the winner is better than them, which the looser will hate them for. As a result they will not want to be friends.
So having a better car and so on will lead to the person with the less good car hating them.
A person may think that others will want to get to know them if they have a better car than them, are more famous etc. Yes other people who have less will want to be with them for a while to experience these things, but once they are bored of those things will not want to be actual long term friends as they are too different.
They also want to have those things and will probably hate the person for having more than they do. It is right not be be jealous and be happy for others having things, but people who manage that are a small minority.
So winning, being the best and showing it off is a selfish thing for a person and not about making friends.
Of course it is good to create and a person may get great rewards, but showing them off to people with less will not make friends of them.
To make a friend, be like them and so they can relate to you, be with you.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 12, 2015 1 MinuteSocial skills (basics)Focus on other people’s needs.
The first thing with social skills is to focus on the needs, welfare and wants of other people.
This means you can realise and be aware of what other people want and provide it.
If a person is just thinking about themselves and what they get, they will be in their own ego, just on themselves and oblivious to what other people want. As a result they will not get results.
In fact with this selfishness it can only happen that the person displays what they themselves want and so will repel others.
Companionship
People are social animals, they like to be with other people.
This means that they want to be with other people on a physical, psychological, spiritual and divine level.
They are happy with other people.
Sad with other people.
Party with other people.
Doing something with others makes something bigger.
To achieve this needs a person to empathise with others.
If things are going well for you, people want to be part of what you are having
If you are happy, well and things are going well for you then people would like to be part of what you are having.
So if you are a person who is happy, things are going well for you and are having fun. People want to be part of that.
People will be drawn to you and want to be part of your life.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 31, 2015 1 MinuteSocial skills (voice)Attacking is hard, firm, loud.
Friend is soft, gentle, quiet, yielding.
A friendly voice:
Quiet so speak the lowest can, but still easily heard.
Each note and tone starts and ends softly, so does not suddenly start, volume increases and decreases slowly.
High pitch as this has a shorter wavelength so is softer.
An attacking voice
Loud, this really forces the voice on the person, it is forcing yourself on the person, they have to conform. It is also painful as so loud.
Each note and tone starts and ends sharply, so does suddenly starts, volume increases and decreases fast. This makes each note harsher and harder.
Low pitch as this has a longer wavelength so is harder.
General:
People will be attracted by a soft voice and be repelled with a harsh one.
These of course need to be done with other factors, such as a man still needs to sound masculine etc.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 30, 2015 1 Minute‘The Everything Store’ book about Amazon and Jeff BezosWhat I learned from ‘The Everything Store’ book written by Brad Stone.
It is about Amazon and Jeff Bezos.
When a person’s life story is told, it is the series of choices they made which shows what they were.
Need to:
●care about the business more than anyone
●understand every detail of the businesses
●view the competitive landscape like a chess master.
●be obsessive about pleasing customers and providing services like free shipping. Be customer focused.
●want to push the boundaries of what is possible
● react harshly to efforts that do not meet rigorous standards
People want:
1st, Price
2nd, Convenience, such as how quickly and easily they get the product or service.
3rd, To feel close to who they are buying from, as the company can affect the purchaser.
Speak simply and positively in all customer communications, this normally means crossing out loads of words that have been written for them.
Watch for every small cost, for example even employee parking and snacks. Need to be frugal, as these savings can be passed on to make things cheaper for the customer.
Need to be able to focus on things.
An entrepreneur does not make the future. They make things that work in what the future is and so are successful.
Avoid luxuries like lifts, doing the work yourself, like taking the stairs instead, makes you stronger.
A leader must devote full attention to people when chatting to them and never give the impression they are hurried or distracted. However also are careful not to be let things get led away from the
Be genuinely:
● customer centric
●long term orientated
●like to invent
Very few companies have all 3 elements.
Most companies are not those things, are focused on competition, rather than the customer. They also want things that will pay dividends on 2 or 3 years and if they don’t, they nove on to something else. They prefer to be close followers, than inventors because it is safer.
Jeff Bezos is hyper intelligent.
Coming up with a business idea is often a messy process with no single ‘aha’ moment. The reality often does not have as much clarity.
Must be keen on thinking about things and be very determined.
Focus on the task, not what other people are thinking of you.
Try and learn lessons from everyone you meet.
Quickly abandon old notions, when better ones present themselves.
Recruitment needs to pro actively advertise jobs to the best people out there, in an unapologetically elitist manner. Then invite them to an interview, where they are asked to solve really difficult problems.
Try competitors products as a customer, to find their weaknesses that you can improve upon with your service.
People start their own business as want to be a true owner of the business, with the equity and massive financial rewards.
People want to be employed as lucrative and comfortable. They are scarred of loosing that.
Before start a business, do revenue projections in Excel, even if they later prove to be radically inaccurate.
A person may think that other people will not want to buy the product, even they will be converted when they see other people buy it.
Amazon 2
Amazon does not make money when they sell things, they make money when they help customers make purchase decisions. This means reviews saying which products are rubbish.
The original idea for Amazon was that someone would be allowed to make a profit as an intermediary. The key question is: Who will get to be that middleman?’
Need employees to be high IQ brainiacs.
Hiring only the brightest and best, is the key to a company’s success. A company lives or dies on that one.
Every time hire someone, that person should raise the bar for the next hire, so that the overall talent pool is always improving.
A sales person has to be articulate, convinced themselves and talk with conviction about what product will do.
It is one thing to have a good idea, it is another thing for a person to be able to execute it. Track record of a person is the best indicator.
At interview ask problem solving questions that test the quality of a candidate’s thinking e.g. ‘How many gas stations in the United States?’
A site must have writers and editors to create editorial content, that makes it the most trustworthy and authoritative source of information on the subject, that people come back to for, in it’s own right.
Editorial content creates the shopping experience, comfort and trust in the site.
People like and want to be involved with people who are fun, exude energy and do things.
Staff get excited and enthusiastic about growing a company to be big.
To do things a better way, must have low regard for the usual way of doing things.
Caution and respect are the best way to meet with a business rival.
With retail, cash flow is helped by customers paying before, or when get the goods, but retailer pays suppliers much later. Use this cash to fund expansion.
Focus on and be concerned about customers, not competitors, as customers send the money, not competitors.
Be able to laugh at your disasters and mistakes.
Find people who have worked at the best competitors, so they can create that stuff for you. If at first they refuse to join you, try and try again.
To entice people to join you, find what they are interested in that their current employer does not do eg. ecommerce, then if you will give it importance, they will want to join you so they are doing that thing.
Put huge efforts into courting top people to join your company.
When a business grows, the people who were in top positions, may not be the best to be top anymore. They are not able to manage a bigger operation, the company can now attract better people etc. So they have to go to side positions. They normally then get frustrated and leave, as is like watching their child move, to be with another family.
Great engineers may not be able to manage a team, so useless when the company grows.
Barnes and Noble failed with online business compared to Amazon because:
●Not willing to lose money in what they saw as a small part of their business.
●Did not put their most resourceful employees on it, as believed it would take sales away from their stores.
●Distribution geared towards large shipments of books to physical stores and not small amounts to customers. This also led to long, painful and full of errors customer service.
People have different traits. Jeff Bezos said ‘Physically, I’m a chicken. Mentally, I’m bold’.
He believes in being bold. Bold and not timid, doing investments where decent probability of getting a leadership advantage.
Some investments will pay off, others will not, they learn valuable lessons in either case.
Decisions based on long term prospects of boosting free cash flow and growing market share, rather than short term profitability.
Metrics:
1st, metrics that indicate market leadership: customer and revenue growth, degree that customers continue to purchase on a repeat basis, strength of the brand.
Invest to expand and leverage customer base, brand and infrastructure to create an enduring franchise.
Focus on your own business, not investing in and working on lots of other companies.
Be strictly frugal on all daily operations, executives fly coach class etc.
Pay for things with cash, be frugal in giving away equity.
Hire the best in each field, continually court them to work for you, until they eventually say yes.
Jeff Bezos decides and approves things and not have to go to anyone else for approval.
Get staff from another related company that is best in it’s field. Then try and get those staff to use their connections in social events etc. to stealthily recruit more staff from that company.
Sam Walton, the Wal Mart founder ‘It’s all a matter of attitude and the capacity to constantly study and question the management of the business.’
Make sure company does not become inactive and slow moving like an institution.
As a toy retailer, have to predict a year in advance what will sell and in what quantities, then order it from manufacturers. Any stock left after Christmas, is sold off for almost nothing. So need specialist buyers who really can predict the toy market.
In every negotiation and discussion with staff, suppliers etc. make it like the end customer, has a seat at the table. This is so bring up and put focus on their side and how things willing effect them.
Negotiations are long, involved and excruciating, but it leads to the bits where the profit margin is.
If a company always stays focused on the customer, it will always be fine, even during tough times. Must be focused on the experience that the customer has using your service.
Get a big well known and wanted zeitgeist item, sell it at a loss, to gain pr and customers who will be so happy they hopefully stay loyal and buy other things in the future. This needs courage, bravery and might un nerve senior executives as costs so much, but is needed to stay ahead of competitors.
Executives told must think like an owner of the business. To make it work in practice, asked after they make decisions, ‘Is that what an owner of the business would choose?’
For customer services they track:
1, time an employee spends on phone with a customer
2, phone calls and emails sent by customers per order
And aims to reduce both.
Aim is that self help tools means customers never need to call or email at all.
Executives have to prove their performance and statements with figures and statistics.
An executive should do mystery shopper tests with all parts of the business eg. make a mystery customer service call. Make sure quality matches the performance figures given by executives.
Add rankings wherever can as people want to be top, make these rankings transparent. Eg show customers and sellers sales volume ranking for all products, each stock pickers speeds in warehouse. People will be addicted to the game.
A new business that fails is not a mistake, it is an experiment, which will probably go into other experiments that each evolve into other ideas later on.
Need to try out ideas that are outlandish, even if employees think they are ‘fever dreams’.
Customers want to get things immediately and this is a big challenge and new ideas on how to do things.
Staff will always see reasons, why should not try something new.
An interesting clever and capable person you know, probably knows other such people. Use that connection to find out and meet other people they know, that could be useful.
Need to be:
•shrewd
•self aware
•know how far can push something
When looking for managers, if they are very versatile, intelligent, move quickly and get big things done. It is more important than if they have experience in the industry the company works in.
A boss must have truly high standards that staff have to meet, expressing they are needed, or will be beaten by competitors and not settle for less.
For a company to be frugal, the boss must also do it himself with his own company expenses.
Amazon values:
•customer obsession
•frugality
•bias for action (even if does not work, had taken a risk and been resourceful?))
•ownership
•high bar for talent
Every company as it grows begins to compromise their standards in recruitment to get the people it needs. A senior person good at hiring, must do the final interview each time to ensure that does not happen.
Has to be a fast pace of hard work and bug work loads. Some will resist and leave as not what they want. The company accepts that ‘if cannot excel and put everything into it, this might not the place for you’.
They do the warehousing so they master everything that touches the customer experience.
Do everything you can for a problem not to let down a customer.
If a person is an astute listener, they can get people to confront their own shortcomings. This can also enable them as an adjudicater, to resolve tensions between people.
A company where bosses are focused on saleries and perks, not the business, will not do well.
When loads of money in a business, or from investors, easy to have a fever of reckless binges, spending on investments that will not pay back.
During hard economic climates, conviction, improvisation, discipline, efficiency and eliminating waste helps a company survive.
Hard economic times help companies get creative in improving efficiency, as they have to.
Suppliers will demand shorter payment times, if they think the company might go bust, so not be able to pay them. Suppliers may need a presentation of your finances to be reassured.
Money is made by:
•building a lasting company
•learning from mistakes
•A company not being based on the industry it is in, but with the abstract concept of starting with the customer and working backwards.
People may not like something as it changes their own identity, so want it to fail so that will not happen.
As a toy retailer, have to predict a year in advance what will sell and in what quantities, then order it from manufacturers. Any stock left after Christmas, is sold off for almost nothing. So need specialist buyers who really can predict the toy market.
In every negotiation and discussion with staff, suppliers etc. make it like the end customer, has a seat at the table. This is so bring up and put focus on their side and how things willing effect them.
Negotiations are long, involved and excruciating, but it leads to the bits where the profit margin is.
If a company always stays focused on the customer, it will always be fine, even during tough times. Must be focused on the experience that the customer has using your service.
Get a big well known and wanted zeitgeist item, sell it at a loss, to gain pr and customers who will be so happy they hopefully stay loyal and buy other things in the future. This needs courage, bravery and might un nerve senior executives as costs so much, but is needed to stay ahead of competitors.
Executives told must think like an owner of the business. To make it work in practice, asked after they make decisions, ‘Is that what an owner of the business would choose?’
For customer services they track:
1, time an employee spends on phone with a customer
2, phone calls and emails sent by customers per order
And aims to reduce both.
Aim is that self help tools means customers never need to call or email at all.
Executives have to prove their performance and statements with figures and statistics.
An executive should do mystery shopper tests with all parts of the business eg. make a mystery customer service call. Make sure quality matches the performance figures given by executives.
Each person in charge of a different section eg. Children’s books.
Should have one page for each product so is an authoritive product catalogue that is useful in it’s own right as a catalogue. It explains product once in one listing that goes to one page, then choices of sellers in that page. Not lots of listings, each seperate listing from each seller, goes to seperate page from each different seller.
If someone else on Amazon marketplace sells the same product for cheaper than Amazon, let them do it and then Amazon figure out how they are able to do it.
Staff, suppliers etc will always say is unfair if something else comes out that is cheaper or better than them. They will try to find reasons to try and stop this new rival thing, even if they are not true. Even if upsets other staff in the business,, still have to do it.
At Wal Mart the world’s biggest retailer, to be frugal even top executives stay at cheap hotel chains.
Walmart sees advertising and pricing as two ends of the same thing. They spend a small percentage of their turnover on advertising, because they spend that money on reducing prices. The marketing strategy is their pricing strategy, of everyday low pricing.
During rapid expansion, very easy to over staff things.
Costco business model:
•value trumps everything
is about customer loyalty
•value is why customers will go to their strange store locations
•mark up everything 14%, even if could get more. Wall Street always want them to raise prices on higher margin categories, but they will not.
•yearly membership fee makes all of their gross profit and is one time pain for customers, but re inforces concept of prices cannot find elsewhere such as tv $200 cheaper than anywhere else.
•has no need to advertise due to their low prices
•huge numbers of suppliers will not supply them as they sell so cheap, but sales volumes, they pay their bills on time and keep their promises, so eventually they will.
Make sure none of your products have higher prices than elsewhere.
Some retailers work out how to charge more, others work out how to charge less. Amazon are the second.
A company has to decide what it is great at.
Self reinforcing loop, like a flywheel that gets quicker and quicker:
1,low prices
2, more customer visits
3,more sales volumes
4, more commission paying sellers attracted to the site
5, Get more from fixed costs like fulfillment centres and web servers.
6, Can lower costs further
7, Back to point 1
To test an advertising medium, advert itself etc. Need to stop it running in an area, to see how well the ad actually works and compare where ad does and does not run.
Savings in advertising, goes into improved customer experience, which leads to more customers from word of mouth. This accelerates the flywheel.
Seperate customers:
•time sensitive pay for free shipping
•non time sensitive get free delivery.
Airlines seperate consumer from business customers by who is staying at their destination on a Saturday night. They charge each one differently.
Discounts for ordering more, such as free shipping for orders over a certain amount, encourages customers to buy more.
Working for a boss with high standards is hard, but people in hindsight will be amazed on what they had achieved.
Staff who are not good are rejected, good staff are asked to do all they can.
Exit interviews with staff are important and dine privately with the Jeff Bezos. Make it a nice chat with people who leave. However must fully enforce non compete clauses, if executives go to rival businesses.
Focus in business goals that will be long term like unlimited selection, not short term cash generation things, however lucrative.
The editorial dept gives a human touch to the pages on the site. Uses clever and entertaining writing, plus intuition in what to promote.
The site’s software recommends other things customer might like based on their previous purchases and what they have looked it.
However the software out performed the editorial and writing dept, so it was closed down.
Then came software that did automatically generated recommendations and a standard layout, so no people needed.
Adopted children can have a very high need to prove themselves and be successful.
Need a tireless work ethic, which he got from his parents.
Need to be totally and incredibly focused and determined on what are doing.
Need to value self-reliance, resourcefulness and hate inefficiency. Try everything, nothing cannot do, although must not push it too far.
It is harder to be kind than clever.
Need to be able to be tough, but also sweet and loyal.
To achieve things, need to be self disciplined.
Once decide what want, work hard for it.
Need to be very creative.
Parents need to nurture a child’s creativity.
When teenager knew needed to be wealthy to create his personal goals, such as saving humanity with orbiting space station human colonies, with earth as a nature reserve.’
Technology, patience and long term thinking pays off.
Amazon’s guiding philosophy ‘Step by step, steady progress towards seemingly impossible goals will win the day. Setbacks are temporary. Naysayers are best ignored.’
When just selling books on the site and raising more money from investors, he did not tell anyone including investors, his secret plans which were to eventually sell everything on the site. This is probably because people would have thought it too was much to achieve and not believable. He does not tell people his bigger next stage goals.
Company gets bigger it outgrows it’s internal structures and so:
•more complicated
•harder to keep everyone co ordinated and moving quickly
•interdependent divisions waste time co ordinating with each other
Themes like ‘Get Big Fast’, or ‘Get Our House in Order’ etc. help get people in company to go in right direction.
To sort out their distribution sytems:
•brought in scientists and engineers, not retail distribution veterans
•hired all of the 10 smartest peoole they knew
•used maths and algorithms to work out where and when to stock products, how most efficiently put combine customers’ orders into a single box etc.
•computer works out each fulfilment centre’s demand, excess capacity and backlogs, then passes the order to the correct one.
•carefully track metrics like, shipments each fulfilment centre received, how many orders shipped out, how many not shipped, how big is backlog and why, per unit cost of packing and shipping each item, number and contents of trucks waiting to drop off and deliver things etc. Conference each day, where managers reports these figures and must have them ready before the meetings.
•gave mistakes serious names so taken seriously
•each year must reduce defects and increase productivity
Toyota lean manufacturing philosophy: •Company rationalise every expense in terms of value it creates for customers.
•Workers pull red cord and stop all production on the floor if they find a defect.
If a company needs more communication to avoid chaos, means things not working in a close organic way. Need to work out how teams can communicate and co ordinate less, so not use up time to do this.
Adding manpower to complex projects delays progress, as needs more time and money spent on communication. So teams no bigger than 10 for each problem.
Need to question the orthodoxies in every industry and process. Be critical and throw around crazy ideas of how can do things better.
To solve problems and work out solutions, a CEO has to be able to properly work on shop floor with workers and managers.
Software designed for similar business models, may have serious shortcomings when used for yours.
Amazon goes with staff ideas when they are based on principles, maths, patience and tenacity.
The CEO needs to roam the business looking for defects, flaws in the company’s systems and culture.
Reward employees who identify activities that are beaurocratic and wasteful. Also award that helps company do things to lower price to customers. These help re inforce the values within the company.
People in business need to know that running a business is hard, is not a place to go to retire.
A company cannot make a good decision about a feature or product, without knowing precisely how it would be communicated to the world and what the hallowed customer would make of it.
Steve Jobs was known for the clarity of his insights about what the customer wanted.
Need to be able to be charming and have great humour in public, but in private also able to do very firm discipline with staff.
Things that cause disciplinary action:
•not have right answer
•trying to bluff right answer
•take credit for someone else’s work
•exhibited a whiff of internal politics
•any uncertainty or frailty in the heat of battle
Any bullshit, or making stuff up is the end of someone’s employment.
Stress to people if their work:
•should be A team, not the B team. Spending time with team staff, are a waste of the CEO’s time.
•if there is nothing interest in their plans for the business
•how if not brilliant are letting the CEO down
•if something is stupid
•if the CEO does not like something
A CEO has to be good at allocating capital, manpower and make hyper rational business decisions. Also needs to be focused on improving customer service and the company’s performance. There must be no tolerance of stupidity, even accidental stupidity. As a result people have to be expendable.
Need to care and be passionate about it, so will be angry if goes wrong, or is not brilliant.
Must have plans in place for emergency scenarios, if things fail with service delivery.
Make sure when negotiating with a supplier, have some business with a second supplier. So when negotiating with the first supplier, really can immediately stop using them and are not bluffing.
Business is Darwinian survival!
Start an online marketplace, bring retailers in, watch what they do and what they sell, understand it, then get into selling that thing yourself.
Do not be bound by the old rules of an industry.
Even small things, like being able to say delivery date, helps with marketing strategy.
Amazon Prime yearly subscription for free 2 day delivery, $79 small enough people will try it, large enough that people will not shop elsewhere which was it’s purpose.
Amazon Prime launched on guts and experience of knowing would change behaviour to bigger orders and in new categories, even though financial analysis said would be too expensive to provide the free two day shipping.
It fed the self propelling flywheel of customers spend more, volumes increase, can negotiate lower shipping prices which would fund Prime and lead to lower prices for customers and so more customers.
Amazon
•Customers addicted to ordering and getting free 2 day delivery
Made most of it so ordered more
Only profitable once Amazon could ship entire order in one package
Unpopular with staff for first few years,
•worried would force them to do his other pet projects
•it’s estimated losses
•took a few years to show it was a success
Staff kept on dropping promotions for it and Jeff had to closely track it to ensure they promoted it.
Putting fulfilment centre’s where few other food jobs, let Amazon get away with exploiting staff. However theft was high.
Employee delinquency controlled by point system for late arrival etc.6 points and were let go and staff told system before they started and no second chances.
To prevent unionisation:
•Amazon listened to staff complaints to combat possible unionisation.
•Made it clear that unionisation would not be tolerated.
•High staff turnover made it hard to organise unionisation of workers.
•When 4 day German strike, Amazon would not negotiate with the union.
•Biggest is Amazon will fire people, eg. closed down call centre and say for another reason, but staff know is because they wanted to unionise. Will even fire people if technically not legal and then staff member has to fight to get job back.
•Customers addicted to ordering and getting free 2 day delivery
Made most of it so ordered more
Only profitable once Amazon could ship entire order in one package
Unpopular with staff for first few years,
•worried would force them to do his other pet projects
•it’s estimated losses
•took a few years to show it was a success
Staff kept on dropping promotions for it and Jeff had to closely track it to ensure they promoted it.
Putting fulfilment centre’s where few other food jobs, let Amazon get away with exploiting staff. However theft was high.
Employee delinquency controlled by point system for late arrival etc.6 points and were let go and staff told system before they started and no second chances.
To prevent unionisation:
•Amazon listened to staff complaints to combat possible unionisation and
•Made it clear that unionisation would not be tolerated.
•High staff turnover made it hard to organise unionisation of workers.
•When 4 day German strike, Amazon would not negotiate with the union.
•Biggest is Anazon will fire people, eg. closed down call centre and say for another reason, but staff know is because they wanted to unionise. Will even fire people if technically not legal and then staff member has to fight to get job back.
Institutions normally always say no to unorthodox moves by saying no to things. However an entrepreneur needs to be able to do a series of improbable, expensive and riskey bets. Needs to be able invent ways of making money
Jeff Bezos can quickly understand complex new computer algorithms. Also how people work in warehouses etc.
To help develop its search algorithm, the Amazon website collected a vast trove of customer data, from the moment it opened for business.
Need to open development centres where the best pools of technical talent are. Here small teams work on isolated projects, so have energy and agility of a startup, while minimising the need for communication with the larger company.
They are world class for customers, employees not so much and suppliers not at all. In the end they believe it is customers that matter. However if go too far, the company will be very damaged by loosing best staff to rival companies.
They do all they can to make sellers compete on the site.
Amazon is a business with data at ut’s heart and it’s systems are built around that.
Automated tools so buyers order merchandise based on dozens of variables like:
•seasonal trends
•past purchasing behaviors
•how many customers searching for particular product at certain times
•etc.
Bots scan rival sites and lower Amazon’s prices if they are ever more expensive. Ensured Amazon always matched the lowest prices elsewhere, offline or online.
System held buyers accountable for:
•Products being in stock
•Prices competitive
System showed if a person was not doing this and Amazon disciplined the buyer.
The person in charge must pay attention to and not allow dramas and political disputes within a company to fester. One example is if someone else is jealous of another staff member.
Do you can to hire the brightest minds in each field.
Look for bottlenecks in processes, so can remove them.
Even if faster than every other company, still try and go faster.
So third party developers can be as productive as possible with the API, they give them as many of Amazon’s things as possible through it. Amazon could never imagine what people will create, so the bits are broken down into the smallest possible tiny pieces so developers can create new combinations and things. Eg. Payments, messaging, bandwidth etc.
They are world class for customers, employees not so much and suppliers not at all. In the end they believe it is customers that matter. However if go too far, the company will be very damaged by loosing best staff to rival companies.
They do all they can to make sellers compete on the site.
Amazon is a business with data at ut’s heart and it’s systems are built around that.
Automated tools so buyers order merchandise based on dozens of variables like:
•seasonal trends
•past purchasing behaviors
•how many customers searching for particular product at certain times
•etc.
Bots scan rival sites and lower Amazon’s prices if they are ever more expensive. Ensured Amazon always matched the lowest prices elsewhere, offline or online.
System held buyers accountable for:
•Products being in stock
•Prices competitive
System showed if a person was not doing this and Amazon disciplined the buyer.
The person in charge must pay attention to and not allow dramas and political disputes within a company to fester. One example is if someone else is jealous of another staff member.
Do you can to hire the brightest minds in each field.
Look for bottlenecks in processes, so can remove them.
Even if faster than every other company, still try and go faster.
So third party developers can be as creative as possible with the API, they give them as many of Amazon’s things as possible through it. Amazon could never imagine what people will create, so the bits are broken down into the smallest possible pieces so developers can create new combinations and things . Eg. Payments, messaging, bandwidth etc. The smaller, more simpler and primative the bits, the more that can be rearranged.
Even set up in a different country if that is where the tech talent is, if a talented staff member wants to move to the home country, get them to set up a development have there to build a project.
The leader must have a very clear vision of where the project will eventually go to and be. Also how to do it must be figured out in advance, not as the project goes a long.
The leader who is selected for a project, must be someone that the staff in that project think is competent to lead them.
A company needs to try doing daring things, in order to be great. However institutions tend to say no, when decisions like this come along.
Important to be a good, persistent and tenacious negotiator, even for things that are a small amount of your net worth. Keep going with a negotation and never give up, it can take months.
If there is a decision that staff are not happy with, if the CEO says that he or she will take responsibility for it and the outcome of doing it that way, the staff will be happy to proceed.
Create a company with the advantage of a low cost structure, so can survive in a low margin business.
Amazon expects staff to do impossible missions, to impossibly high standards, on a shoestring budget.
Software needs to be designed so that unsophisticated people can use it, such as grandmothers etc. Eg. needs to be pre set up to fully use, automatically connect to other devices etc.
If a new technology or product that the market will move to, is less profitable and will destroy and overtake your old very profitable business. Better that you bring it out, than someone else does. To do this need to set up new autonomous organisations, charged with building new and independent businesses around the disruptive technology. Those new seperate organisations, will be happy to do things that kill the old business. Those businesses have to make it sound alluring, to attract the brightest and best talent. Each business must do 1 thing with total focus and aspire to be the best.
A new product idea may have flaws and set backs when first bring it out, but if it is where you believe the market is going in the long term, do not be deterred, persevere with changes and improvements until it works.
In all business ideas and decisions, start with the customer, and work backwards.
A good staff member will be excited by the challenge of building new things, even moving from the established big thing they are already in charge of.
A staff member needs to just have one business unit, or will not go after each one with tenacity.
Read lots and lots of books of other people’s ideas. Be in touch with other people who are creating things and ideas that you can work with and learn from.
Go into a market not being done well by anyone else.
To create a great music solution and be the biggest in the market, Apple made the Ipod portable music player, Itunes computer based music buying software etc. all a seemless one thing.
Have massive goals for building great products and services that provide to the customer, not matter if staff think you are insane as so hard to do.
If staff believe strongly that something should be done, but the CEO does not agree. The CEO must do what he/she believes should be done.
The entrepreneur works out the business model, product designers and engineers may not understand, or agree with it. So the entrepreneur must ensure the designers create what he/she believes it should be.
Need to put pressure on suppliers, if need something that they do not want to supply.
Need to use size and growth, to get bigger and bigger discounts from suppliers. A monopolistic position in the marketplace helps to do this. Need to be diplomatic to suppliers, so they do not group together and rebel.
Supply chain must:
•automatically buy from cheapest source
•rules for suppliers to follow
•suppliers can pay promotional fees, to be in more prominent position on site, like store retailers do.
•listen to, be sensitive to and address supplier’s needs
•use things retailer does, like lower returns of unsold stock to get refunds, to get better prices from suppliers.
•Negotiate in all areas, eg. Credit terms etc.
•if supplier not comply, not put in personalisation and recommendation system, so product available, but not promoted and their sales go down up to 40%. After a month of this, they approach Amazon agreeing to the terms.
• sell pushy demands to suppliers, by saying the benefits passed on to customers. Constant and continuous negotiation with suppliers for this purpose.
• suppliers with lower sales and profit margins for Amazon, must improve the deals for Amazon, or get decreased promotion.
• retailer tells supplier how much it will pay for products and demands concessions if it believes supplier’s profit margin is too high
They negotiate much harder with smaller publishers, that they really depend on them.
To keep future negotiations civilised, both parties must feel like they gain something valuable out of the current transaction.
Instant gratification, of instantly getting the product or service 24/7, is a huge selling point.
To keep a new product secret, only way is to not show it to people, as even with non disclosure agreements, some people will say.
First negotiate with suppliers using inducements, then if not work use threats like not putting them in prominent places on site and recommendations.
Must not tolerate delays from suppliers.
Sometimes need to choose what to price a product, using gut feel and not research. Also can use experience from other industries or sectors.
Can loose money on selling a new device as then customers will come to you for future purchases. So is an investment in getting customers.
Keep secret things that may mean people, or other parties, want to stop, or not be involved with a project as not in their interests. Not lie, just not mention that factor. If asked about it, say not yet been decided.
To create gadget that succeeds, focus on making it do what people want, before making it look sexy.
Be careful not to over order stocks of an entirely new product, better to order more if it sells well.
To sell a new product, need to educate and promote new ideas of the product to customers.
To build a new product franchise, need to be able to withstand short term losses from the costs of advertising it.
When supply something, make sure think about and have all the caveats of how the customer can use it in writing. Eg. What it cannot be sold for less than a certain price.
Technological advances that reduce cost of supply, will lead to losses and pain for prople in some parts of the supply processes.
Distribution systems focused on efficency and selection.
After a customer joins Amazon Prime, they double their spending. This is because each time come to the site, they end up buying far more and from different categories, as well as what they intended to buy when arriving at the site. This meant that more suppliers wanted to stock and ship from Amazon’s fulfillment centres, so their products benefitted from Amazon’s free 2 day shipping.
Make sure when doing new businesses, company still invests in, fixes and improves existing primary business, or it will wither and rivals will overtake it.
An online marketplace must stop sellers who overcharge, or charge more than other sites, for things like postage and packing.
Trust between colleagues helps remove acrimony between them. This trust is built up from having worked with each other for a long time.
Even if are a key staff member, if they are not brilliant, must have no concerns or worries about them leaving.
Must be deeply gracious and appreciative to staff that perform heroically, with unexpected thoughtful presents to express appreciation.
A great CEO:
1, Embraces truth and engage their decision making around the best truth at the time.
2, Not be tethered by conventional thinking, can change everything, everything is open for discussion.
Use bruises from the comoany’s past mistakes, to try and build the right culture.
Get as much feedback as possible and take it seriously.
People will work at a company for less money, if it has a great internal culture.
Zappos online shoe sales firm offers no charge rerurns on items for up to a year after purchase. So customers can order 4 pairs if shoes, return 3 and keep one if them.
Look at book ‘Delivering happiness: A path to Profits, Passion and Purpose’ by Tony Hseih.
To compete with Amazon and not squander the opportunity a company needs, more great engineers, great software, talented people, more sophisticated fulfillment capabilities and to move quickly.
Amazon has loads of ways to out compete rivals.
When given the choice of obsessing over competitors, or obsessing over customers, should obsess over customers. Pay attention to what competitors do, but not where should put your energy.
Customers would rather have as much self service as possible in the business and so pay lower prices.
A company will die if it looses touch with what customers want, the changing tastes of consumers and the ‘truths of the time’.
If company does what stock market wants, it will not focus on the customer correctly and do what is right for the very long term.
Need to be careful of costs that cannot be quickly cut in a recession, like long term leases. Especially for less good parts of the business, that could bring the whole company down.
Need staff to have very high standards and know what they are doing.
Amazon will stop selling a supplier’s products if it does not get what it wants, but customers can still buy through third party sellers on the site.
Premium brands would not sell to Amazon as did not want their brands tarnished with bargain basement prices.
To act in the interests of customers, may have to do things that go against the interests of suppliers. Need to do those things to dominate the market, even if the suppliers try and stop you from doing it. Most suppliers will try and stop you, but still supply you, as they need to sell through your dominant sales channel.
Can use dominance in one industry, to transition into other similar ones.
To stop a fight between companies, mention the collateral damage, such as how customers, authors and all other people affected by it.
Whereas Amazon might be forced to accept deal terms from big monopolistic suppliers, Amazon makes medium and smaller sized suppliers adhere to the terms Amazon wants and those terms are totally different. It will stop selling the items of smaller suppliers, until they submit.
The stock market may not like a new business at the start of it going on the stock market, but after a while, once they understand what it can do, the stock price can go massively up.
Amazon goes to massive lengths to do structures and methods that lowers their taxes and uses them to pass the savings on to customers. It is a big part of their competitive advantage. The 80 person tax department uses internal company rulebooks, flowcharts and maps to do this. Affects all staff instructions documents for what can do, say, go, when, where, how can do things, company in group working for etc. Staff told why it is critical to do these things. It is co ordinated and organised by company’s lawyers, who issue questionnaires to staff to:
•ensure staff are doing things correctly
•collect information to enable the lawyers to organise and label things using the right wording.
Missionaries end up making more money than mercenaries. Amazon is a missionary.
Missionaries have righteous goals and are trying to make the world a better place.
Mercenaries are out for power and money and will run over anyone who gets in the way.
If a politician threatens state taxes, they normally back down once Amazon threatens to close down a fulfilment centre in the state and so hundreds of job losses. Will also use carrot of promising to build fulfilment centres in a state. It fights in all kinds of ways.
Be a far sighted chess player, once lost one advantage, cultivate other ones.
Secretly buy large volumes from competitors, to create data that measures quality and speed of their services. This data goes to the top of the company.
Amazon has strict non disclosure agreements and strong possible legal consequences for speaking publically about things.
By selling lots of categories, can massively drop prices in one category and cope with losses. They do this to force a rival that just does one category, out of business; or to sell their business to Amazon because they are scarred that Amazon could even sell the things in the category for free.
Customers offered monthly subscription for diaper deliveries, to get big savings, free for first year Amazon Prime membership, etc.
If a big rival company wants to acquire a company which has techniques that could put them ahead of you, or bring them up to the same level. Make sure you acquire them, not the rival.
High end manufacturers ensure retaillers sell their items for a high price to:
●protect the brand
●ensure as many retailers as possible will and can sell the items, as not cheaper elsewhere.
●stop retailers demanding lower wholesale prices
Amazon does all kinds of tricks, to get around this.
If a manufacturer cuts off supply, Amazon believes they will eventually supply them again. As Amazon has great information on products and reviews about a vast selection of products. So it is where customers go when they are ready to buy.
Amazon may get the manufacturer back by promising not to lower prices again, but soon they break their promise. They do this by justifying that selllers on their Marketplace and elsewhere on the web, are selling for cheaper and Amazon has to match the lowest price. Manufacturer will say that these lower prices are not from authorised retailers.
For those manufacturers that have removed direct supply to Amazon, the products are still available through the Amazon Marketplace.
A store can explain a high end product’s advantages in a way that a website cannot, so worth a manufacturer protecting the store’s margins, so they can sell the items by ensuring online retailers do not sell it for less.
Amazon’s mission is to drive inefficiencies out of the supply chain, to lower prices to customers.
When Amazon sees a product selling briskly on the marketplace, it starts selling the item directly itself.
The cheapest seller of a product gets the default ‘buy box’, causes sellers to race to it being sold for £0. So sellers need to learn to source hot new products, gain exclusives and build a lean organisation. Many that leave, return due to 200 million active users and brisk sales. For sellers it is like heroin, as first they get brisk sales, but then Amazon undercuts them on price. The sellers complain, but in doing so, they just cut themselves off.
If suppliers do not supply Amazon, they are told:
•Amazon will get supplies through the grey market
•every time a customer searches for their product, they will be taken to adverts for their direct rivals’ products
Even if manufacturer stops supplying:
1,
Amazon will not give contact details of Marketplace sellers on their site, so manufacturers cannot see how they are getting their supplies, or who they are.
2,
Other authorised dealers also sell the manufacturers products through ‘Fulfilled by Amazon’, so the customer benefits from Amazon Prime free delivery.
Amazon sells refurbished, slightly damaged new stock and used products itself on the marketplace using it’s warehousedeals.com brand to get around the manufacturer’s set retail prices. Amazon wants to become biggest liquidator on the planet and uses to get around a manufacturer’s set prices.
Track which firms could become future rivals.
Have packaging materials, branding etc. that means it is easily recognisable to consumers. Make sure it forms a good bond with consumers.
More boards of directors, shareholders and other stakeholders, means more conflicting opinions.
Amazon’s first priority is selling customers products and services, at the lowest possible price. Their second priority is giving customers the choice of being able to buy anything.
If even a big retailer’s supply for a market comes from a small number of large companies, then the retailer has to do what those supplying companies insist on.
If supply comes from lots of small suppliers and there is a very large retailer, then the suppliers have to do what the retailer insists on.
Need to always focus on how your products can be better than other rivals, especially if can be sold for a cheaper price.
Amazon self service website meant loads of books could be put on there, market determines economic rewards. Not publishing editors who subjectivity decide what market will like and slow innovation. Even improbable ideas get tried and many of those end up working. So Amazon wanted to cut out the need for publishers.
Even if a new business idea has massive problems in the short term, like existing players trying to stop it, gauge the success of it in the long term.
Price comparison app so users could take pictures or scan items in shops, see if Amazon cheaper. Amazon gave discount up to $15 if customer then bought on Amazon. Also enabled Amazon to find out prices of retail rivals.
Lesson: give customers way to see that your are cheaper and use it to find out rival’s prices.
If customers are not satisfied with it’s products, customers will not come out and defend it’s critics.
Jeff Bezos wrote the following for a company to conduct itself and be perceived, so be liked by their customers, loved, perceived of as cool. Not be feared and hated.
Then ranked companies other by how well they did each:
Not cool:
Rudeness,
Defeating tiny guys
Close-following
Obsessing over competitors
Capturing all the value for the company
Pandering to the crowd
Hypocrisy
Mercenaries
Cool:
Young,
Risk taking
Winning
Polite
Defeating bigger unsympathetic guys
Inventing
Explorers
Empowering others
Leadership
Conviction
Straightforwardness
Authenticity
Thinking big
The unexpected
Missionaries
He also said being reliable helps gets a company to be loved.
To be loved:
•Being polite, reliable and customer obsessed is not enough.
•Need other things such as a pioneering spirit that can come across and be perceivable by the customer base.
Amazon is about gaining customer loyalty for their purchases.
Official internal emergency system:
Sev-5: minor and engineer can fix during course of a normal workday.
Sev-1: urgent problem that sets off a cavalcade of pagers, requires immediate response and situation will be reviewed by member of the senior management team.
Bezos has email address for customers to escalate things to->Jeff Bezos forwards with just a question mark->staff member drop everything so in a few hours can solve problem and say about how happened ->response reviewed by succession of managers->goes to Jeff Bezos.
Amazon’s direct marketing tool decentralised, so product managers can direct emails to customers who look at a product, but have not made a purchase.
Truth springs forth when people debate their different ideas and perspectives. Can get quite confrontational.
No amount of revenue is ever worth jeopardizing customer trust and the company’s bond with customers. Even if such a choice will reduce the long-term revenue that comes from that part of the business.
Anecdotes and feedback from customers are researched carefully, because they say something about the company’s metrics and processes. They are a precious source of information.
Need to put filtering tools in software, so staff cannot do certain things that may not be good for the business.
Metrics rather than editorial judgement makes every important decision including what features to introduce. However feedback from just one customers can also change a policy, if it reflects a larger problem.
Jeff Bezos will put a lot of attention on a single area if there is a problem there.
High standards means, although stressful for staff, staff often regard it as the most productive time of their lives. With smart colleagues, challenging work, frequent lateral moves between departments giving constant opportunities for learning. Fierce competitiveness in everything staff do and pace of innovation is thrillling. Staff know how hard it is and have chosen to be there.
Attracts people who like to pioneer and invent, with the infrastructure and pace of a startup.
Jeff Bezos does not want social cohesion caused by desire to reach a consensus. Need to debate backed by numbers and passion. (I would rather backed by numbers, passion and desire to do the right choice)
The leadership principles are important to them, they are on their website:
1, Our Leadership Principles
Our Leadership Principles aren’t just an inspirational wall hanging. These Principles work hard, just like we do. Amazonians use them every day, whether they’re discussing ideas for new projects, deciding on the best solution for a customer’s problem, or interviewing candidates. It’s just one of the things that make Amazon peculiar.
2, Customer Obsession
Leaders start with the customer and work backwards. They work vigorously to earn and keep customer trust. Although leaders pay attention to competitors, they obsess over customers.
3, Ownership
Leaders are owners. They think long term and don’t sacrifice long-term value for short-term results. They act on behalf of the entire company, beyond just their own team. They never say “that’s not my job.”
4, Invent and Simplify
Leaders expect and require innovation and invention from their teams and always find ways to simplify. They are externally aware, look for new ideas from everywhere, and are not limited by “not invented here”. Because we do new things, we accept that we may be misunderstood for long periods of time.
5, Are Right, A Lot
Leaders are right a lot. They have strong business judgment and good instincts.
6, Hire and Develop The Best
Leaders raise the performance bar with every hire and promotion. They recognise exceptional talent and willingly move them throughout the organisation. Leaders develop leaders and are serious about their role in coaching others.
7, Insist on the Highest Standards
Leaders have relentlessly high standards – many people may think these standards are unreasonably high. Leaders are continually raising the bar and driving their teams to deliver high quality products, services and processes. Leaders ensure that defects do not get sent down the line and that problems are fixed so they stay fixed.
8, Think Big
Thinking small is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Leaders create and communicate a bold direction that inspires results. They think differently and look around corners for ways to serve customers.
9, Bias for Action
Speed matters in business. Many decisions and actions are reversible and do not need extensive study. We value calculated risk taking.
10, Frugality
We try not to spend money on things that don’t matter to customers. Frugality breeds resourcefulness, self-sufficiency, and invention. There are no extra points for headcount, budget size, or fixed expense.
11, Vocally Self Critical
Leaders do not believe their or their team’s body odour smells of perfume. Leaders come forward with problems or information, even when doing so is awkward or embarrassing. Leaders benchmark themselves and their teams against the best.
12, Earn Trust of Others
Leaders are sincerely open-minded, genuinely listen, and are willing to examine their strongest convictions with humility.
13, Dive Deep
Leaders operate at all levels, stay connected to the details, and audit frequently. No task is beneath them.
14, Have Backbone; Disagree and Commit
Leaders are obligated to respectfully challenge decisions when they disagree, even when doing so is uncomfortable or exhausting. Leaders have conviction and are tenacious. They do not compromise for the sake of social cohesion. Once a decision is determined, they commit wholly.
15, Deliver Results
Leaders focus on the key inputs for their business and deliver them with the right quality and in a timely fashion. Despite setbacks, they rise to the occasion and never compromise.
Benefits and Stock
There are many things to consider when deciding on your next employer. At Amazon, we offer employees the chance to work with great people on…
People who can cope with confrontation love it, those who cannot leave and go elsewhere.
It is a mix of being a corporation and startup.
Company sends threatening letter if employee takes a similar job at a competitor.
Constantly loads of staff leaving, but is an accomplished recruiter of new talent, helped by appeal of a steadily increasing stock price.
Amazon gives industry average base salary, a signing bonus spread over 2 years and a grant of restricted stock units over 4 years. Unlike other technology companies such as Google and Microsoft which spread the stock grants evenly, Amazon backloads the grants towards the end of the four year period o try and make staff stay, keep working hard and not coast.
End of year one they get 5% of their shares, 15% end of second year; 20% every 6 months over final 2 years.
Managers in apartments for 50 people or more are required to grade there subordinates akong a curve and must dismiss the least effective performers.
There are no perks, eg. staff have to pay for meals at the cost price. Company constantly searching for ways to reduce costs and pass the savings onto customers.
Jeff Bezos personally chairs operating reviews done every 6 months, each teams write down plan for next 12 months. Documents from each team are 6 pages, with a few rules called tenets at the top of each, which show principles for each group, that guide hard decisions and enable them to move fast without constant supervision.
The startup areas get more attention from Jeff Bezos, they are harder and more stressful for staff to work in.
At weekly meetings each department meets with their managers, the numbers from long spreadsheets show them what is working, what is broken, how customers are behaving and how well company is performing.
The executive team force employees to look at the numbers and answer every single question about why specific things happened. For employees this is scary and impressive. As Amazon has so much volume, this means can make quick decisions, not have subjective debates and the data does not lie.
These meetings culminate with weekly business review. 60 managers of the retail business gather in one room to:
•review their departments,
•share data about defects
•inventory turns
•forecasts
•complex interactions among different parts of the company.
Jeff Bezos is not at these meetings.
Jeff Bezos gets very involved and thinks about whatever area he believes there is a crisis in, or is not good enough.
Good email newsletters are short, well written, informative and entertaining (not boring). Simple design, stripped down and not complicated. Punchy headlines are important. Writers accountable for getting revenue from their articles.
People held accountable for caring about things.
Their service allowing advertisers to reach customers on all Amazon websites and devices, is highly profitable, helps subsidise free shipping, low prices and funds some of the company’s expensive long term projects.
Amazon is excited to be able to offer customers lower prices.
If a company can lower prices as is more efficient, other companies will try and stop it through legal means, dodgy arguments etc.
If think long term, can achieve things normally would not accomplish. Time horizons matter a lot. Amazon was a multi decade project.
Must be willing to fail and be misunderstood.
Defects invisible to the knowledgeable, may be obvious to newcomers.
Complicated and contradictory goals makes it hard for people to help you. Be clear and simple goals about your goals and articlate them in a way that makes it easy for others, because they are consistent.
Amazon 3
Need to have the skill of efficiently dispersing time across many responsibilities and multiple projects.
Jeff Bezos invests in things where technology can disrupt existing models.
Be strict details, where costs are going, alongside understand the importance of design.
Jeff Bezos has an empty chair in meetings to represent the customer.
Jeff Bezos aim to take the inconvenience out of online shopping and deliver products and services to customers in the most efficient manner possible.
When loads of customers in an area, more efficient to use your own delivery trucks than outsource to courier companies.
Look at ways to eliminate cost from the supply chain.
Jeff Bezos tries to:
• Move faster
•Work his employees harder
•Make bolder bets
•Persue big inventions and small ones
Jeff Bezos ‘ We don’t have a single big advantage, so have to weave a rope of many small advantages’
Jeff Bezos is relentless.
To accomplish things that are big and unconventional. Intensity and drive of focus is essential and incompatible with all the nice management thought about consensus and gentle demeanour. Then can be quick and not need to slow down too much or modify ideas to make others feel comfortable.
Need clarity, vision, potential and values.
Need the ability to prioritise things.
Need to ensure top team get CEO’S way of working, so can act accordingly.
A big company has to leap forward, not just protect existing ground.
Need people who are bright, high growth potential, fluid minded people with the right values as people. People who prioritise customer trust and delight, at all times are long term focused and driven to be bold and innovative.
Jeff Bezos never really thought about personal wealth. Not thinking about ‘exits’ which affects the smallest choice. Just do something good, not just what gets them acquired, or funded.
Clear goals and values made even the small choices easy for staff to make. Also affected recruitment at all levels, so people who focused on their titles, traditional status metrics, security, or their own wealth, stood out and we’re not hired.
Some might say Jeff Bezos only accepting of high standards makes him hard to work with, but it means he attracts terrific people who want that and they stay for ages. People who want to pour their heart and soul into a mission.
Believe in what building and their very best was needed to have a hope of accomplishing the enormous potential ahead of them.
Jeff Bezos always purely focused on best outcomes for Amazon and customers, never a self interest or political dimension.
Need boldness, getting things done immediately, strict prioritisation and risk to achieve things.
Also need to run free with your own insights and directions, without compromising them to accommodate others.
A new idea always disrupts or disturbs somebody.
People can complain, but complaining is not a strategy.
One of Amazon’s call centres has 500 workers in off peak months and a thousand or more when call volumes spike before and after the holidays. They get $11 per plus small grants of stock that vest over a four year period. Is intense and exhausting work.
Only 3% of customers inclined to call it, those with a serious problem or just want a friendly voice at end of a phone.
Staff controlled by cold, data, which are internally called ‘metrics’.
Most weight put on customer satisfaction, based on emails sent to each customer after a call. It says ‘Did I solve your problem?’ and it has a Yes or No choice. Staff have targets for ratios of yes and nos, they are also ranked based on them.
They also look at calls per hour and average length of each call.
If staff member in lowest 15% of the rankings, they are placed on a ‘PIP’, Performance Improvement Plan and can be fired if not improve their numbers.
Is stressful as Amazon’s standards are so so high.
Amazon knows has hundreds of willing applicants so prefers to fire troubled employees.
Alleged infractions like hanging up on a customer, are all investigated.
They want staff to say if they disagree with something, but commit to doing it once company says must do it.
Such as help button on device showing live video of customer service person chatting with. They re invent normal, creating inventions that customers love and resetting expectations for what normal should be.
For pr say fun stories of things that have happened in the business.
Focus on innovation and customer orientation, refine and distill these values in persuit of:
•was the customer happy
•will they return again
•did I solve your problem, yes or no
Amazon shopping needs to be ease and simplicity
It is a low margin, low price approach.
Small teams are more effective than large ones, at handling complex software projects. So Amazon has lots of small teams.
Need a core ideology, those who embrace it flourish, those who reject it are expunged from the company like a virus.
Companies must confront brutal facts of their businesses, find out what uniquely good at and master their flywheel so each part of the business reinforces and accelerates the other parts.
Some companies reluctant to embrace disruptive technologies because might alienate customers and undermine core business, but ignoring potential disruption is even costlier.
When Amazon negotiated so hard on books that made it hard for customers to get hold of books from many publishers. Amazon said was negotiating on behalf of many customers, even though onlookers and authors criticised this.
In mandatory meetings with managers, Amazon puts intense pressure on staff not join a union, saying direct connection is most effective way to understand and respond to the wants and needs.lf their staff.
Suppliers and staff may not like Amazon as they find it to be a bully, are free to leave. However with other companies either retreating, disappearing, or having to copy Amazon to compete, increasingly there may not be different opportunities elsewhere.
Jeff Bezos says more from reading novels than non fiction.
Walmart is about selling things at a discount, this needs values of frugality, a bias for action and a willingness to try things out and make mistakes.
A busineds needs values of modesty and frugality in the organisation.
Small groups of engineers are more effective than large ones, at handling complex software projects.
Successful companies have a core ideology that guides them, only staff who embrace the central mission flourish, others are expunged like a virus from the company.
Company must confront brutal facts of it’s business, find out what uniquely good at, master their flywheel, in which each part of the business reinforces and accelerates the other parts.
Some companies are reluctant to embrace disruptive new technology, because it might alienate customers and undermined their core business. However ignoring potential disruption is even costlier as competitors with it, out compete and so destroy the business.
Identify the biggest constraints in company’s operations, then structure organisation to get the most out of those constraints.
Banish waste and create wealth by focusing on activities that create value for the customer and systematically eradicate everything else.
Use data metrics to measure everything from customer satisfaction to effetiveness of marketing. All assertions must be supported with data, if data has a weakness staff member must point it out or their colleagues will do it for them.
ready8 Business Leave a comment May 18, 2015 45 MinutesDecisionsFear, anger and stress about themselves or their possessions makes people make bad decisions.
A person feeling out of control, being faced with a threat, or the unknown for themselves can make a person do this.
These things are fine when for others, but when for oneself and so selfish, it can make decision making hard and cloudy.
Love for others is the best cure.
Need to be calm so God and the higher levels can guide a person.
If in a state where a person is concerned for themselves, their pre occupation with themselves will stop them from hearing and listening to these higher levels. . If is an emotional thing need to wait until the emotion passes so are calm again and can hear the higher levels.
Asking God and the higher levels can lead to good answers. Need to then wait for a time for them to come through.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment March 13, 2015 1 MinuteSimon Dolan, How to make millions without a degreeThings I learned from his book.
To be an entrepreneur, create a business by doing it yourself, your initiative, create what customers will want then go out there with it.
Get On With It GOWI
An entrepreneur needs GOWI, which stands for Get On With It.
Try loads of different things, with loads of different people, in loads of different ways, learning for each person at each time. This means they learn loads and loads and builds up a big network of people.
Once can do that job, or learned all need from it, time to move on so learn how to do more things and what are good at. Then use those skills to start your business.
They also learn some very marketable skills for their business, some of these may even make up what the business offers as a product or service. The entrepreneur will also discover what their natural abilities are and what comes easy to them.
An entrepreneur must not waste any time and GOWI.
Duplication
Duplication is how go from a thousands to a billions pounds business, it grows little by little year by year. They open another, then another and so on. It is not a glamorous or exciting thing to do, which is why most millionaires only talk about the starting bit and when got there, not this bit in between. It takes many years and loads of patience, then have thousands of branches all over the world.
Each Mcdonalds branch only makes a quarterly net income of just $30k, but with 31 000 restaurants it makes a quarterly net income of $979.50 million.
Each Starbucks store only makes a net income of about $25k per year, but with 16 709 if them they make $390.8 million.
Each time the business is duplicated, the business is doubled.
First hire someone for the cheapest to fill position, such as licking stamps, stuffing envelopes, etc. Your income will go down at first while you train this person and so in total the business is not doing more work, but then income will go up once you are both working. If hire well, this person could even have the potential to become a regional manager etc.
Need to be able to duplicate yourself and duplicate the business.
Then have to keep a duplicate yourself, with somebody else doing the same job as you. It is difficult as needs trusting someone else. It takes courage, stepping away from the business realising it is something in its own right and a big leap of faith.
If the first person you had to do this does not work out, hire someone else and try again.
Need people who are naturally motivated and can work things out for themselves. Each person does do things a little bit differently and need to give them some flexibility.
The person must be passionate about the business with the great products/services you provide. As otherwise will not care about the job, will be demotivated and so cannot succeed.
Opening a new branch things are slow at first, slowly winning new customers, it takes time to gradually build up. Do not expect too much too soon and learn from each one.
Eg he was:
Year 1: 80 clients
Year 2: 150
Year 3: 300
Year 14: 10 000 clients
McDonald’s took about 40 years to be global success and Starbucks 20 years.
Most people massively overestimate what can achieve in a year and massively underestimate what they can achieve in 10 years.
Write manual outlining service should offer and guidelines for managers. Incentives them so treat business like their own, if work hard can read big rewards, make each branch as independent as possible and step back.
Employment and formal education
Do not expect others to give it to you, that is just getting a job in an organisation and depending on them, only doing things for them if and once they will pay you.
Authority says will be successful if do what told and they will give it to you, but maybe their way is not right so will not work and also they will not give it to you. They do not know all of reality and their views on life change all the time.
Thinking for yourself, not just doing what told means you find out your real ability, do the maximum of your potential, engage in life, senses sharp, mind is alert and imagination is free. Can be really yourself and not a clone of the person who is in charge.
Depending on someone to give you academic grades, creates dependency in a person, for safe comfortable positions in organisations. Business is actual creation of products or services that causes money to change hands in the grubby world of commerce. Without that experience it will remain a dark mystery. A person needs to be on the ground, in the real world, learning how business works, mucking in, doing what seems natural.
University can give false sense to a person that they know a lot of stuff, when in reality do not. May know about a lot of stuff, but not have actual skills based on experience, in terms of real ‘how to’ knowledge, know nothing.
Need to be at the bottom of the job ladder for a few years to learn what the real world is about, university can make people go into the job market at a higher level and so they are robbed of that.
The formal education system and being employed in a large organisation can be so ‘hand holding’, to succeed a person needs a taste of the real world.
Selling
Anyone with sales skills will not be out of a job for long and it is essential for business as well.
The first rule of sales is that the potential customer must like the sales person and the sales person needs to do what is needed for that happen. For example asking the potential customer what they do for a living and letting them talk about themselves, which they will love the sales person for doing and giving them attention.
Sales person: “What do you do for a living sir?”
Then after potential customer has answered say: “Is that right? You know I’ve always wanted to do that.”
It makes the potential customers feel great and you will get along really well.
Need sweet talk and huge enthusiasm.
If people do not want to buy now, offer them a very extra special package remaining for one very extra special people. Then need a deposit, even something small, this stop them from pulling out later.
To close the deal, is fine if have to hand over to a senior person who is best at that.
Dodgy sales people try to spend as long as possible with the customer, keep them there, in an enclosed space and get some deposit from them before they leave. This is because once they leave and get into to the real world, they will no longer want the product.
General
Only do things you see the point of, not just trust it because someone tells you.
So staff take responsibilty, things must have consequences. If staff member late, tell them that if not going to show up on time are of no use to the business, no exam retakes or cosy chats. This is the real world, if they want the job and are good, then this will get their attention and they will never be late again.
Need to have focus to succeed.
An entrepreneur needs between a few months and a few years to work out what the should be doing. During this time doing lots of different jobs, business ideas and research to see what they are good at etc. Others will see this as messing around and failing, but the entrepreneur knows it is not.
To see if a person is honest, look at the first promise they make, do they promptly deliver on it without being asked and are they happy to deliver on it, specially if it is not in their favour. This may be a tiny tiny promise, which is why it can come so early on. People who offer dreams and make you wait for it, usually are con men.
Need to work hard starting a business signing up loads of clients, easy to work hard when is a labour of love.
The best ideas for a new business can come when at the end of the road, no money left, these ideas can work and be brilliant.
‘Borrow’ ideas from entrepreneurs who have succeeded before you.
A new thing may kill off the old business, but if can learn this new thing, you will be one of a lesser amount of people who can do and knows all about this new thing, as it is so new. Maybe new business from this will be bigger than the old one.
Amazing presentation can make even a mediocre product hot, display it on amazing things, wrap brilliantly so looks amazingly new and great etc.
Most entrepreneurs experience a few bumps in the road whilst amassing their fortune. Times when it looks like a venture is at it’s end, but a solution is eventually found.
Need know-how, guts, vision and luck.
Great to get into a business which is new and currently niche, but will soon become mainstream, because then will be in the right place to make a lot of money. Like Simon Caudwell who started in mobile phones when they were large and expensive. Then they became, smaller, cheaper and mainstream and he made £1.46 billion.
When people are working correctly they are so absorbed in what doing, they loose consciousness of themselves and world around them. It is like being in a trance and they do not notice the time pass and doing a job like that is easy.
Successful entrepreneurs often come from tough backgrounds, because from this they have learned that they have to do it themselves and no one is going to help them.
People prefer to hear stories of failure than stories of success, because these stories justify their own timidity. They feed on gossip about how vicious, crooked and vain rich people are because it allows them to feel superior. For this reason even close friends and family may secretly want you to fail. They want their belief in playing it safe to be reinforced.
Self belief is essential to set up a business and get rich. Have to believe that:
● Your goal is worthwhile
● You can achieve it
● you deserve to get rich
Need constructive thinking, like hope, responsibility, courage, affection, trust, curiosity, imagination, truth-telling. These lead to a long term elation and connect to other good things so does not stop. So takes you to better places characterised by knowledge, empathy, connection, understanding, empowerment, passion, energy, clarity and so on
The opposites are blame, self justification, resentment, envy, bitching, moaning etc. They scratch some kind of an itch but end in a puddle of bile. These are habits that can be changed.
Good thinking creates a good tomorrow, focus on what grows.
A person ends up where they want to be. The problem is people do not have a detailed destination in mind for their whole life, just a few dim shapes of maybe a holiday, relationship, or something and nothing very bold.
A person will end up where they aim to be, even if they are only aiming by going along with someone else’s thoughts. So an entrepreneur decides they themselves will choose where they want to end up.
People will often pour scorn over a person’s attempts at self improvement. People not like it if someone thinks they are better than everyone else, or worse wants to be better than everyone else.
Deadbeats and downers need deadbeats and downers around them as successful people are a threat to their authority.
People pressure others into failing like them, like school kids may pressure another svhool kid to start smoking.
Self belief is more important than capital, get, keep and guard it fiercely.
Selling
However educated, important and whatever line of business it is, the entrepreneur has to be able to sell. Without selling, there is no business. A magazine will only succeed if can sell advertising in it, etc.
Need selling at all levels of a business, for example:
●to get the best staff to join your business, work hard once in the business, etc. ●Negotiating with suppliers, have to sell the business to them, to get the best rates.
●selling franchises
●Etc.
These all take sales to get people to do these things.
Entrepreneur gets the ball rolling, then hires others to sell. Entrepreneur knows if they are doing it well or not, if they are not doing it well, immediately sorts it out.
Sales people are resilient. They are not discouraged by not selling anything and just getting no answers, people saying no and timewasters. As:
●Have had some nice chats with people
●Still more people can sell to
●With a new business, easier to get customers once already have them.
●Always get more ‘no’ than ‘yes’
Even if not good at selling, can be taught and acquire those skills. Practice and have fun with it. What matters is getting better at it than was before.
Money always goes to good sales people.
Choosing a business
The biggest is for it to be based on who you are, secondly on your situation.
1, Be Narrow
Look for a niche, the narrow gate. Not the big door everyone has noticed and is going for.
The markets where have to be big to compete, like cars, computer operating systems or supermarket pasta sauces
need too much money to advertise to the whole population
the markets are so big there are so many people competing for the space.
is a huge thing to do the marketing, distribution, process manufacturing and economies of scale. Takes a lifetime, or a team of experts to learn.
Normally people go for these big mass markets as want to be famous. As it is so hard, it can be an excuse for doing nothing.
NIche is not just doing VAT returns, but doing just for IT contractors.
Define a community, know where they hang out, what they talk about and worries them.
So know how to get in front of them with your message.
Doing stands in office where sell books to office staff, display books and one week later take the orders sell books to office staff. The Book People has turnover of £97 million doing this, as they buy the books outright and not sale or return, get great discounts from the publishers.
To get rich the business needs to be infinitely expandable such as going national etc.
2, Low startup costs
Do business where need low capital to start, such as service where you can do the work yourself and brings in money from day 1. Products businesses often cost more as have to pay for stock being there until bought.
Even in high tech age people providing service level well, for agreed price, on time with a smile draws gasps of delight and relief.
So something that can start small, but grow to be big.
3, Be unoriginal
New ideas:
need development, in concrete detail from concept to delivery
extensive testing
somebody else probably already doing it
need to re-educate buyers to get them to buy it, huge time and effort getting them to think like you do
Best to copy ideas already out there which are proven to work. Do them better, more cheaply or with a twist.
People though often want the glory of having come out with the next big thing. Do you want to be remembered, or rich?
3, Be early
Go into new growing industries for meteoric growth, like how computer chips, railroads, ecommerce once were.
Also as will be loads of people wanting to understand the new market, they will want you who then understands it.
When IT was booming he did tax returns for IT people.
4, Believe in your business.
Need to be something you believe in, so your emotions jump on board. Not something you think will be done for fraud etc.
A service needs a backstory, people don’t buy stuff, primarily they buy feelings. Needs to be the people recognise the business’s genius.
It can mean whatever you would like it to mean. For example
●his accountancy firm does the books, so IT people can get on with being brilliant, amazing, courageous and wonderful at what they do. Building, creating and running the computer systems that run Western civilisation.
●Home care for the elderly is about connection, relief from being isolated and giving them dignity. Is not just about making beds and clipping toenails.
It has to feel true.
Has to have meaning.
Have to believe in it.
Needs to be a solution to a problem.
If you are excited, energised and convinced by the meaning of your business, staff and customers will be too.
Starting a business
A startup business need to get and please customers.
Get and keep customers.
Focus on the customer experience better than anyone else.
Is not about pretty office, computers, staff, business cards etc. that people want to show off and enjoy. These are costs that do not make money. So can start a business from home.
Business is a harsh and unforgiving light that shows up people’s negative character traits. Customers just go elsewhere, they loose money, fail etc.
People may want a business partner to be social, but not mean they are the best for making money with. One normally does more than another, so resentment soon forms. Better to own it all and employ the person, or give things to friends, but not give ownership shares in the business.
To get referrals
Do what say going to do
For the quoted price
when say going to do it
remember enough personal stuff about customers to have a chat with them
Hire people to do specific jobs, so can tell if doing it properly. For example this person does administration.
Do not hire friends, is hard to tell them what to do, deal with it when they disagree. Friends are about mutual empathy, company and social, being there when you are in crucial need is only 5% of friendship.
Divide yourself up
As business grows, hone what you do down constantly to the most profitable stuff and delegate rest to others. Eg. Not worth taking someone on that costs more than the extra clients will bring in.
Eg. Could be that you go out selling and they do the customer services and administration.
Then need to get to point where business is fine if you not there working. Stop working in the business and start working on it. This is the next stage according to Michael Gerber:
●How can get business to work without me?
●How get people to work without constant interference from me?
The organisation needs to be separate from you, lives and breathes on it’s own and relentlessly pursues single goal – to find and keep customers.
To do this make so business can be replicated 5000 times by individuals who follow the system. Operations manual for each function in the company, sales, marketing, warehouse operative etc.
Need to be clearly defined roles in the business, easy to understand standards by which success and failure can be judged and hire good people to fill them. Fire them right away if they don’t match the standards.
Most small businesses fail as owner not get past the point where if they do not do everything, nothing gets done, or nothing gets done correctly.
If not do this then
will get exhausted
becomes an ordeal
business cannot go further
get frustrated and angry at customers
Learn from clients and incorporate these things into your business.
He did a franchise system where regional directors (Scotland, Newcastle, Birmingham and London) ran their operations and kept percentage of the profits.
Hiring and firing
Do not hire friends
Friends feel own a piece of business as friendship is about sharing and is not about accountability.
Friends then employ their friends to be nice to their friends, who may not be best for the job. Then they also will not take responsibility for what their friend has done wrong.
Friends are about mutual empathy, not so much accountability. So not mean they are best for the job.
Cannot tell a friend off and so on when they have done wrong.
Is a business, not a social club. Favour and hire who is best at the job.
Get people who are miserable, angry and bitter in the job, they bring the office down. Must never feel uncomfortable to chat with a person.
The owners must never be too timid to sack people who are not good and must fight back within the law. Bad people will bring down the morale in the business, do untold damage and erode your self belief. These bad people will bring the business down.
The regional directors are franchisees so have a lot of autonomy, they own their own franchises. He provides marketing and customer service support and they hand over a chunk of their profits. He does sack if not doing well enough though.
Must not burden people yourself with too many failsafe controls, just take the gamble on them being good.
The business owner will get ripped off from time to time and often quite seriously. Regional directors will steal money, clients etc. and the business owner will have to go and sort it out.
Many new companies go bankrupt as not collect the money owed, customers fob them off with well rehursed false promises of payment and the supplier not follow up on each promise. Need to call every 2 weeks to chase payment, might be a downer and uncomfortable to do, but even temporary cash shortage can kill a business. Make sure payment period terms agreed up front, do not let customers go past it.
Ask for payment in advance first, many will happily accept, if customer not want say is company policy. Can negotiate from there, such as half payment mid way through.
Credit for covering costs while waiting for payment is a big cost, can make a customer unprofitable.
Try snd get a person who can be stern on the phone, so people pay as not want to face their calls.
Marketing and advertising on search engines
When people are buying or working with something where they have not been involved with that field or specialism before. They spend lots of time in a week or weeks before, researching the about it. So his company writes loads and loads of articles, so when users are in the research stage they come across your site as it comes up on the search engines.
A bit like if someone is diagnosed with an illness, they research it on the internet, so know all about it before even meeting a doctor.
98% of people are at the stage of researching a product or service before at the 2% stage, of being close to being ready to buy. Talk to that 98%.
They have over 3,000 articles on their site, they have little knowledge of seo, just how to write lots of articles relevant to people who are researching.
It really has to answer the questions of how things work to answer their special detailed questions, for example the full details of how to get build a conservatory, get planning permission, etc.
Saying how great the company is and who they are, is not for this part of the website. Focus on helping answer the buyers’s question.
For IT contractors they have stuff for people thinking about becoming an IT contractor:
●VAT
●double entry book keeping
●contracting compared to permanent employment
●everything have learned about the whole IT contracting businesss and how to do it
This comes from their expertise, what gleaned from customers and would-be customers.
A million people a year use their articles to make tricky life decisions, like whether to go independent or not.
Then when they want services, the company is the obvious starting point.
Make sure write good articles.
Great, interesting, easy to understand and relevant copy. Label pages and url keywords correctly and make sure matches the content. Must be honestly related to the user’s search, not just pretending to be.
Make sure first two lines of the articles, says what article is, as that is what will be in the search engine page listing. Eg. ‘Top tips for building a conservatory without planning in Cherryside’.
The articles must serve the customer by answering their questions; they are not for saying about the company.
Eg. Top tips for building a conservatory without planning permission in Cheershire.
At the end does mention your company and how it maybe relevant to the user. It is there to attract, inform and sell.
Need to think like the customers, really understand their stresses and pains and write interesting, helpful, effective and friendly articles to help them.
Helps create spark of gratitude and empowerment for the in the visitor. They have worthwhile 2.5 minutes when read each one.
Quality, relevant text.
For them their articles come up while people are thinking about whether to become a contractor or not. If you are talking to them, they will not be able to get away from you with their search engine searches.
Need to love and understand your customers, genuinely try and help them. If you do this the search engines will love you forever, as a web page lasts forever.
Think about new questions customers will be asking. They even called a nuclear power station, got information and facts from them and wrote an article about being an engineering or IT contractor in the nuclear power industry. They then got a top Google result for the search term ‘becoming a nuclear contractor’
Article must echo the page title and url words, or Google thinks something dodgy could be going on.
Best to write great copy to naturally get links, can pay peoole to get links but they will jot last. Google also sniffs out fake links.
Make a list of questions of what they will want to read, useful answers to their questions. Do first very basic, then intermediate and then advanced questions.
Some questions users will only realise are good once seen them. The questions do not have to be about you or your expertise, if you get your hands on useful and honest answers, use them.
Eg for a home care company, can be all things relevant to old people, eg. medical advice, care, equipment, how to convert your home etc.
Each article 200-400 pages, each with own web page.
The headings of each article must really sell the article and show clear value to the information hungry visitor, so they really want to read it. Eg top tips for, essential guide to, secrets of, how to, six ways to etc.
Write plain, naked and exposed writing to connect with people. Do not pretend to be something you are not.
Write like you talk to a friend, just answer the question, write for your customers and no one else. Organise your answer into a short list of points, use short sentences, get them checked by another person, be helpful and write like your audience would speak.
It is a lot of work to explain complicated things in a simple manner.
Use the keywords in the articles, that get you customers on Google Adwords.
Talk about what customers want to talk about, not what you want to talk about!
People spend loads on advertising only when they do not know who their customers are.
Adverts only speak to those tiny 2% ready to buy, they miss the 98% who are at the research stage.
You must write the articles as you know your customers. The best things in life and business are free, but require effort.
Find out what customers are asking and give them answers in simple effective prose.
Entrepreneurial masterclass
Academic people do not take simple and unsophisticated things seriously, but they are the answers.
If you are sitting in the office a all the time as think will not work without you, then have not divided yourself up, or just are trying to find things to do, but this is not making you money.
Go out of the office, have time away and find new money making ideas, like the one that caused your business. Talk to interesting people, read, find experts.
Need to keep an eye on your business, but if it takes all your time, then need to work on your business, not in it.
Make sure research is not just to find reasons why it is bad idea, once can tell is good, go for it.
If have to choose, choose efforts to increase sales, over decreasing overheads. Sales have no upward limit if chosen correct business, costs cannot go below zero. However people find it easier to cut cost than sell.
Luck happens when you have a good business to make the most of any good luck. Customers recommend and get you more customers. Bigger, gets you even bigger.
Failing is the best way to learn, landing on your ass is the best way to learn and eventually leads to confidence, clarity and commitment.
However must fail correctly so not use up the different forms of capital
Social: Have been honest with people, so they did it with eyes open will work with you on other ventures.
Intellectual: can you use the failed business idea in other forms?
Spiritual: pick yourself up and do again. No blame, resentment and self justification.
So you have enough capital left forv the next venture.
Enthusiasm, good idea and solid relationships are more important than money to start up a business.
Bad gambler: wrecks that tumble out of casinos. Know the game but risks are not calculated. Big bets based on a couple of emotions, usually hope and mis placed sense of entitlement, basically that God owes them this time. They are driven by delusion and desperation.
Good gambler: people not notice are quietly successful, making a pretty good living. Know the game, know what can afford to loose and make calculated risks on big rewards. if loose just start at different table next week.
A successful entrepreneur works hard and builds something carefully, piece by piece that is theirs.
Getting a degree can stunt a person’s imagination, prospects for personal growth and autonomy.
Love, health, intelligence, art etc. are more important than money. Money does not buy happines.
Money does buy space, time, beautiful settings, pleasant experiences and the best legal and medical assistance available.
How to be a good parents of a would be entrepreneurs
Parents set the patterns for their children’s behaviour, they repeat it later.
People may not allow themselves to be rich, because of what other negative people say about those who have money. This can create deep feelings and attitudes in a person and can cause a them to loose wealth if they come into it.
So need to promote the message that wealthy people are good for society and not be ambivalent to money.
Staff who are pampered babies are no good. A business needs hungry grafters.
Messing around phase of doing lots of jobs only works if it is self directed. The person may put energy into misguided messes, but do not tell them because
at least they are learning. They learn more in this 6 months than from 10 years listening to you.
Jumping through hoops to get exam grades is a treadmill that does not lead to a rich, exciting and independent life. A person has to intend to be that, to get it.
An entrepreneur wants to be independent.
Need to grow up so can get the rare skills and handle the pressure.
People who want the feeling of safety will want employment and not to be an entrepreneur.
Lazyness may mean are scarred to fail, tried something once and it did not work, not sure where to start or what to do next.
Most adults who have rare talents and powerful spirits, were awkward, headaches, worries and disappointments to their parents when they were teenagers. They had a tough job as teenagers, working out their place in the world and how they fit in, which was not obvious at all. This drive for independence is important and needs to be encouraged.
If a teenager has a few of these, it is a good sign:
1, a realistic perception of money and not be trained to expect clothes, toys, moneu and treats by whining.
2, To know and take an interest in what is going on around them.
3, persevere if I hit a brick wall and not give up.
4, Try new things and learn from them
5, Mix okay with people
6, Have some constructive interests of some kind, school, music, job, sports, hobby etc.
It s about
●being your own boss
●setting up a business and making lots of money
●being free and independent adult
Saying Que Sera kills achievement.
Studying business is seperate to learning economics.
Even when see for example McDonald’s, see the angle of how it is a business that someone thought up and made lots of money from.
Business owners and managers are always desperate for willing grafters.
ready8 Business Leave a comment March 8, 2015 22 MinutesAttracting women, what to do on a dateWhere to go
The girl loves it if the man has done his homework to find what and where she likes, or will like. It shows he cares about and loves them.
What to do
As long as the lady likes that kind of thing, must feed them, however if just get them drunk it will just get silly and 24 hours later she will forget you. A romantic dinner is a must on the first date to get the lady’s romantic juices flowing.
The lady must see it that love is the man’s first priority.
That you like her
The man must make it really clear that he likes her. As a result would like to see her again.
This must be done that the man really likes her and would like to see her again. This must not done in a pressurised taking way, but that he is giving to the girl. He likes her, he is not taking and pushing her around.
So at the end of the day to make it clear would like to see her again, when you are free and make it as soon as possible, because you really want to see her.
ready8 Attracting women Leave a comment February 28, 2015 1 MinuteMasculine and feminineThese are both forces in the universe, although a person may have a physical sex, and a male or female soul. A person can still focus or meditate on a certain concept to get what they need at certain points.
By meditating on these different concepts, principles, energies, a person can understand , appreciate, connect, generate and work with them.
It means that a woman can choose to do more masculine energy.
A man can choose to do more female energy.
The energies
Male: Force, strength, resilience. It enables a person to endure and be okay with pain, be courageous, strong, forceful and if needed to fight.
Female: Nurturing, soft, comfort. It enables a person to care for others, feel cared for, comfortable and loved. Also to see other people’s point of view
General Situations
In a crisis of physical or psychological hardship, masculinity is great.
However for a soft, nurturing, comfortable life, femininity is good.
So in warfare, times of physical difficulty, when under psychological attack, when heavy and hard things need to be moved, done and built, the masculine principle is needed so can fight, stay firm, strong, persevere and not go all over the place.
In times of sadness, when a person is hurt, when repair, comfort and empathy is needed, things need to be pretty, beautiful and comfortable, then the feminine principle is needed.
Specific Situations
Women often do not like going to parties and large social gatherings by themselves. For the strength to cope with it, they often need a man, there are of course solutions to help women do this without needing a man.
If a man has trouble in going to large groups, parties etc. where they do not know people, it can be that he need to become more masculine. However if the man go so excessively extremely male at the social situation, he will not have some of the more feminine characteristics needed to be socially capable.
Dating
For a man to be attractive sexually to women, they need the masculine concept which will affect their behaviours, expressions, posture etc.
For a woman to be attractive sexually to men, they need to focus and be aware of the feminine concept which will affect their behaviors, expressions, posture etc.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment February 8, 2015 2 MinutesCommunicating with GodGod has little interest in people who are just constantly asking and wanting for things for themselves .
Also people who just read the same old formal prayers repetitively out of a book, to a point that in the end it becomes a tired routine to them and the meaning behind it is lost.
God wants people to ask genuine questions, genuine conversation and ask about genuine issues.
It can be about the person themselves, or it can be about the whole universe and world. It just needs to be relevant, as if it is not relevant to reality, it will have no effect on reality, so it does not deserve an answer and the person does not get one.
The question can of course be about the present or the future.
We are made in the image of god so it is like how we are with other people.
God does not want people to just talk about themselves, it is more interesting when a person asks how the other person is and is interested in them.
So if a person genuinely asks God what God would like us to be doing for God, then God will reply.
The person may not get an answer instantly into their mind, the idea, words and images may come into their mind possibly days, or a week later and they will have come from God.
It can happen with an omen, such as something happening in the physical world which symbolises the answer. This also happened at the time, in the future, or any moment relevant to that situation being asked about.
The answer often comes when the person is relaxed and not being self obsessed over their own issues, so they can be aware of, see and notice what God is doing.
However a person genuinely asks, they will be given a mission, or job, this is a big deal not to be taken lightly!
God is about doing service, what a person should really be doing and a mission. So it can be a big deal full of sacrifice and hardship.
Which is why many people are not interested in asking and truly communicating with God.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment February 5, 2015 1 MinuteRoutines, habits and traditionsAfter done something for so long, get used to it, it becomes normal to the person doing it.
Then they do not realise it is not how it should be and how things actually should be.
Routines and habits means a person has set ways, that make a person boring. They are doing their habits and not seeing the world.
Habits can cover all aspects of a person and their behaviour, for example:
●Being late or early to things
●Confidence
●Courageous or timid
●Confidence
●Lying or truth telling
●etc.
Bad can be changed by:
●By asking yourself questions to show how a habit is not based on realty or constructive
●Being aware or awake so not having to rely on habits
● Being open to change
●Doing a different thing each time until the habit changes.
Good habits can be useful as they free up the higher mind to do more useful things, such as the automatic habits that are used when driving a car so the higher mind does not have to be bothered with this.
However need to watch them so can be improved and changed.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment January 30, 2015 1 MinuteSimple and complicatedThings in life are actually very simple.
Life itself and how it works is actually very simple.
For example the masters of physics theory could put their theories into one sentence.
For example Hook’s law ‘Every equal load on a spring, causes ab equal extension, until it reaches it’s elastic limit’
If a person writes more than a sentence to say how something works, then they do not know what they are talking about. So if a person has to write a whole book on something instead of a sentence, they do not know what they are doing.
It means they cannot tell what the real answer is, so have loads of rubbish in there as well as do not know what is the bit that really matters.
In business, normally it just needs 5 or less simple measurements to see what is going on in a business .
People make can also make things complicated to show that they are clever. They try to make it so others will not understand, for example by using complicated and less common words, when this us not needed.
People also often want to think something is a certain way, or choose a solution because it is clever. However the reality and best solution is normally very simple, unexciting, boring and not entertaining.
It actually takes work and intelligence to make things simple.
They make it complicated so out of their own pride they can think they are clever and to show off they are clever on front of others.
They also do it to create jobs for themselves by making it complicated so others cannot do it, or people feel they have to be paid a lot as only very clever and hard to find highly skilled people can do the job.
So if a person explains something in a complicated way, either they do not understand it, or they do not want others to.
Being overly indulgently intellectual
Having a good intellect is important. Just like a muscle, it needs to be used and challenged so it grows.
However just like a physical challenge, an intellectual challenge can be intoxicating and something to show off. So the more complicated it all is, the more intellectually challenging it is. This can lead to a person wanting to create complicated solutions abd pretend the problem is complicated for fun of it, when a simple solution is closest to reality.
The best answer to a problem might be simple and mundane, but that is not something that shows off how intellectually clever the person is and so is not glamorous.
Also by being very intellectual, without also experiencing and being aware of life, can lead to complicated concepts that bear no relation to reality
Right in front of us
The answer can be right on front of us, staring at us, telling us, and we think that it is too obvious, simple and easy. However that can be the answer.
Life is simple, we just make it complicated.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment January 28, 2015 2 MinutesWhy people do certain things, motivationsExcessive eagerness to please others
This is often caused by wanting affection from others. This is often because the person did not get affection from their mother when they were a child.
This can cause a person to do things for others to get affection from them, even of the things being asked of them are not right. This is because they want the affection from the other person.
Their endless craving to get this can make them work so hard they get exhaustion and so on.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment January 14, 2015 1 MinutePridePride, people with excessive pride see someone else and automatically think they are better than them. See if you can cope with the idea of being as good as them, but not better.
A person needs a certain amount of pride, so a person thinking that are worse than other people is excessive. However thinking that better than other people is excessive pride.
Can think that better at others at something if is true and needed, so you can do your thing instead of going along with the other person’s. However generally thinking are better than others at everything is a fallacy.
Often people who have failed a lot need to compensate with excessive pride. It is also a thing of selfishnes to indulge and savour pride.
Maintaining that excessive illusion leads to insecurity as is not true so will fall down like a pack of cards.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment January 14, 2015 1 MinuteAthiestPeople are often athiest because:
They cannot cope with God being better than them
They prefer to mock people and beings that are better than them
They want to feel that they better than them. That is why they do not want to worship God.
In truth as the universe is one, the better God is, the more they benefit and are. However athiest people see themselves as separate to God.
The wise person praises and honours what is better than them.
They want to be the centre of their own universe
They want to be the person that controls everything, everybody else looks up to and so God is competition to that.
Being in control
God is in control, but the ego wants power and to be in control.
By being aware of God, a person becomes aware that God is in control and not them. The ego does not wants that, as wants to think that it is in control of everything and to be control of everything.
Also to be aware of God, a person has to be worthy, for that a person has to be willing to do what God’s will, which of course is not the will of the ego.
Basically the ego wants power over others.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment January 12, 2015 1 MinuteEgoOften think that are being aware of things that are not their ego, such as God, a specific concept or something else.
However often is still the ego, because looking at my God, my concept, my other person.
It is very hard for a person to look at things outside the ego, because the ego itself is only interested and about I, me, mine.
So need to be aware using higher parts of oneself which can be aware of others as they are.
Things that trap us in ego
Fantasies can trap us in ego, for example that a person is a big important executive when actually are quite a junior one. Once a person realises the level they really are, they can really do things.
Ego is often thinking about how wonderful you are, how wonderful you look, how wonderful people think you look, and so on. You are just looking at positives and even things that are not there or real. Fantasies shout how wonderful you are.
It’s very tempting because there is a lot of self gratification.
When operating from a higher place, people respect you and other things, but it does not matter to you as are not looking at them.
So you do what is right and not what gets you attention. Whether people notice you or not makes no difference to you. You do what is needed by others and right.
Using astrology to see you are in ego
It’s very hard to tell if you’re right in ego or operating from high places (teferet in Kabbalah).
When it is a full moon, or close to a full moon, I have a hard time sleeping. This is because I’m in ego lot and the ego is affected by the moon. By being aware of this and the effect the moon is having on me, I can see how much I’m in ego.
This frees me up to see the higher parts of my psyche, Teferet, the part of my psyche which is my sun sign.
By seeing sun sign part of my psyche, I can see this higher of my psyche and what I should be doing in my life. Also the ego things I’ve been doing to show off and are not what I should actually be doing.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment January 8, 2015 2 MinutesExperiencePeople are here to get experience from which learn from, we are in a school and learning how to get to the next level.
For example that war is bad as people loose their lives and loved ones.
The only real way to learn is experiencing things.
A person can have the information, but the only real way to learn is to experience it. Then a person also learns what direction to go in.
For example a person can read a text book on how to swim, but only once done it, do they know what it is like with the waves splashing against their face, other people jumping into the water etc.
A person starts is innocent in their first incarnation, this does not mean they are good and bad. They get karma for their good and bad actions.
An innocent person tends to go along with what they are told and so are accordingly sometimes good and sometimes bad.
They fall for the lies told by others and fall into the trap of being tempted to behave badly as they do not know better.
They have not yet done enough to have seen the consequences and experienced the results.
Experience leads to a person becoming wise. That is why a person has to do a lot, experience different things and take risks in trying things that are new, going to harder levels etc.
The best way to learn is from the experience of others, but need a high level of consciousness, awareness, observation, empathy etc to do this as then really experiencing, seeing, and feeling what other people do.
Need to take heed of the old and mature souls of the past, present and future, who warn, phrophesise and give guidance to every generation based on laws of karma and Divine principles.
When a person meditates, they actually have to experience what they become aware of. That experience becomes part of them, so they can change. To advance a person who has to experience it, not just read it in text books or think about it.
By being mindful and aware, a person can learn far more from their experiences. They can see that when they did not act morally, things did not go well and so regret it. Without being aware and mindful they would not have seen, experienced and so learned from it so much.
Young souls
As a person gets more experience they see, experience and realise that
•Everything they do has consequences
•They are not the center of the universe. They are infinitely small compared to God and nothing relative to the other 6 billion people in the universe.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment December 27, 2014 2 MinutesCompetitionCo operation always wins over co operation, because of the evils of putting others down, that can come from competition.
However competition is better than doing nothing.
It can be right that the person who is best should be doing it and that is the positive side of competition. The best thing is if people do the best they can for others, but only one person can be the leader or do certain jobs, so naturally the person who is best has to be chosen for the sake of the people receiving the benefit of that service.
However the aim is to do the right thing for others and not just to try and acquire. This is the correct choosing of a person when done ethically.
A person’s selfish motive to compete can be:
- To be the person that gets the customer and so makes money.
- To show to yourself and others that are the best and these competitions can be a way that businesses motivate their staff. The status of being the best. This can infatuate people though to work excessively hard. It can also make people go too far in order to be the top dog, such as dong something too risky or immoral.
ready8 Business Leave a comment December 27, 2014 1 MinuteConfuciousThings I learned from Confucious ‘The Analects’
To be moral, need to have a sense of shame when done something wrong.
The only purpose a person can have, or worthwhile thing can do, is to become as good a person as possible. Persued for it’s own sake, without thought of reward; success or failure. This takes a great deal of hard work and cultivation.
A complete man ‘remembers what is right at the sight of profit’ and ‘is ready to lay down his life in the face of danger’
It is benevolence that makes a man a gentleman. Benevolence also makes a man free from worries and fears.
The best guide to conduct ‘Do not impose on others, what you yourself do not desire’. What would you like or dislike if were the receiving person.
To be moral a person needs to overcome themselves (self interest) and do the right actions. Self interest is the most persistent, insidious and persistent thing that stops a person being moral.
Not possible to work with mean (selfish, not benevolent) people in service of the Lord. They do not get the wealth or position they crave, as they do not deserve it. They worry they will not get it, once have it worry will loose it, once at that stage will not stop at anything to have these things.
If a person is benevolent, benevolence is a thing that a person has. A person builds it up and grows it.
Very hard to maintain benevolence, even the great normally only manage it for short periods.
Practicing benevolence is a heavy burden, but every man has the strength to do it. By a person thinking they cannot do it, they have set their limit before they even try.
As soon as want to be benevolent it is there, it is not far away, the question is if people really want it.
By thinking of something it is there.
Man of wisdom never in two minds, man of benevolence never worries, man of courage is never afraid.
Man of wisdom knows what is morally right and what is not (especially things that appear right when they are not)
Knowledge of men, means being good judge of people’s character, this is is how to predict their future.
A teacher must be honest about what they do not know and not pass anything on that they have not tried out themselves.
Courage means a person can do what is right when they see it and not leave it undone, but courage without morality will mean the person just carries out evil.
A person must live up to their words, best to do the action before making the claim.
Being respectful of others, is the best way to prevent others from disrespecting you.
By a person being respectful with others, others will be respectful to him and not disrespectful to him.
Learning stops a person being foolish.
He mentions the Decree of Heaven: heaven cares profoundly about the welfare of the common people, a person is set up by heaven to fulfil that purpose. As soon as he forgets that function and begins to do things for his own sake, heaven removes his decree and will bestow it on someone more worthy. A person should be in awe of this.
With regards to self interest, profit and rightness are in opposition to each other.
A person’s destiny will determine their lifespan, wealth and honour. No human persuit, effort or speculation can change this so is not a proper object of persuit. What is in the domain of destiny should be left alone.
We should obey heaven’s way, that is somerhing we should follow.
Morality is the only object a person should persue, being moral lies in making a moral effort and not in the success or failure of the person’s actions.
Do the work without thinking of the salary may get for it. Shameful for a person to be making saleries their sole object.
When ‘the way of heaven’ and morality is being followed in government, then should be in it and the person should be wealthy in it. Should speak with high mindedness.
When the way of heaven is not being followed in government, as then can only be there if bends ones principles and will also be a nasty place of humiliation and punishment. In this case, the person must leave and keep out of trouble as a private citizen, so not have to bend their morals. To stay out of trouble people must think you are the most stupid, lacking confidence, self effacing, not attract attention to oneself.
So in times of an ethical government a person will succeed in government because they do good. That is what the government has chosen.
In times of an unethical government it is the bad people who will be wealthy and given high rank.
The common people trust the government if they get enough food and arms.
When the common people do not trust a government, they have nothing to stand on. It is more important that the military defenses and food.
Setting an example
Edicts and punishments will get the people to stay out of trouble, but will have no sense of shame.
Guide them by virtue, keep them in line with the rites, they will have a sense of shame and reform themselves. To do this the ruler sets a moral example for the people, by behaving correctly. Then never have to use the law and threat of punishment.
The people will imitate their leaders even if told not to do something different.
If the leader sets a moral example, the people will do the right thing even though no orders are given.
If people told by leader to be moral, but leader themselves is immoral, the people will do immoral things.
If people told by leader to be immoral, but leader themselves us moral, the people will still do moral things.
If the leader sets a bad example, the people will do the wrong thing, even though orders have been given to the contrary.
If a person punished for something the leader has themselves done, the person will be aware of the injustice.
People may not be be able to perceive the morality in a leader, but they will still be influenced by it, behave in accordance to it and so be moral.
The leader does not even have to do things that the people could not even say what he had done, the moral influence works imperceptibly.
A leader has to promote the straight people to positions of authority over the crooked, will help make the crooked straight.
Other things
Music and poetry need to be beautiful, but it is the goodness in it that makes it amazing and goes beyond expectations.
Pleasure is fine, but it is excessive pleasure that causes the problems.
Detest clever talkers who overturn states and noble families. Also things which look good on the outside, but it is only on the outside, so misleading and not genuine.
A person should seek benevolence. If they get it, they will have no complaints. It is the gaining of the benevolence that makes them benevolent.
Practicing doing things, enables a person to become a better person morally.
Must learn from the wise men of the past and present.
The morally right thing to do changes in different time periods, new rules must be added and others omitted. This makes a person’s actions timely.
A moral principle, for example respect, leads to rules, these lead to actions that exemplify those rules. How good the rules are, is shown by how well the moral principles are performed.
Need thinking to see connections between things which at first seem unconnected. Also to discover new applications for known principles, so when learn one thing, can understand ten.
Need to perfect one’s own moral character by being benevolent to other people and working for the welfare of the common people. The reward is not getting things in return, it is in doing what is good and this constitutes the joy of following the Way.
Confuscious
Studying is hard and arduous and never finished, but:
●needed to overcome being vexed by difficulties
●needed to know why to follow a certain path, otherwise just doing what told without knowing why
Study needs a person to have the capacity, opportunity (time) and be able to put up with the hardship.
Admire people who only have a bowl of rice and ladle of water, but not allow this to affect their joy
Only praise someone once they have been put to the test, for example did a ruler manage to promote the welfare of the common people.
ready8 Philosophy Leave a comment December 7, 2014 6 MinutesBDSM sexHow to ensure is good for the woman, what she wants
Women like it as it is the man being forceful, assertive, in charge
They do not like it if the man is being nasty, spiteful, hateful,
It is basically a man being a real man, taking control.
Women want the man to do the things to them, be the one doing it.
Women like it when the man:
1, loves the woman and wants to give her pleasure
2, Is doing it because the man wants them, has to have them, has to have sex with them.
3, wants them
So the woman will not like it if 1, 2 & 3 are not there. Such as if the man calls them a bitch, slut, says wants to f**k her etc.
About 25% of women like it, others do it just because they know their man likes it.
It can be a dark thing where the women was abused or raped when younger and they are continuing this habit. This is a bad thing and needs therapy.
For men it can be a way of being aggressive, like how sports are used as a channel to stop actual damaging violence in society. So it is fine if consenting and does not get out of hand!
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment November 23, 2014 1 MinuteBeing good at sex (for men)It is important to hold,, hug, kiss and touch her like you love her.
Breasts and bottom are ergogenic zones that are good to pay more attention to. She will also love you kissing down the sides and from sides of her neck.
The clitorus should be the last place to touch and lick because it’s very sensitive and not nice for a lady if they are not relaxed, warmed up and ready for it.
Touch all other parts of her body so the desire grows and only then touch the vagina. Then she can get several clitoris orgasms in a row.
Being masculine
Women when it comes to sex want the man to manhandle them. The man to position them, instigated doing stuff and do the stuff to them. The man is meant to know what the woman wants and do it to her. The man takes charge, dominates the the woman and does the stuff.
Women want the man to be in charge. However of course it is for the woman to consent to this, or it is rape. Also it is for the woman to be soft and nurturing with this as that is how it works.
The woman is attracting him, so they want to be so attractive that the man wants them, wants to do stuff to them and cannot resist her.
Romance
Sex for women is mostly about being loved and cared for by a man, the man wants to please and love them. So it takes ages to get a woman to want sex, but after lots of showing that you love them, care for them cuddling and so on they will be attracted to you and want sex with you.
To a woman 80% of it is about having a man love them, cuddle them and care for them. If they have an evening in bed with a man and all they do is cuddle, that is a successful and lovely time. For a man sadly he just wants to penetrate and put his seed in her, the women will be upset if he says that to her.
The woman wants to feel special which is why they want it to be that the man is monogamous to them and only wanting sex with them. If the man is having sex with other women it means to a lady that she is not special.
If one evening they do not want sex, lots of showing that you love them, then cuddling them, then eventually if they are happy with it gentle caressing and stroking their body to show that you care for them, should turn them on so they want sex.
For women each time they have sex with a man, they feel more and more connected with him. Women want that connection, to feel loved, wanted, intimacy.
They want sex to mean something, deep feelings that the man loves her.
For women it is a special thing, they are letting a man into them, they feel vulnerable and wary to fall in love with the man. The more the man makes love to them, the more they open up and fall in love with him.
Women take time to ‘warm up’
Even if a woman is attracted to a man, they will not want to have sex with him for many weeks, or months until they feel very comfortable with him.
However if they want to have him, they know they will have to have sex with him on the second, or third date to keep him interested. They may do it, in order to get the man for a permanent relationship, even if they do not want to have sex with him so quickly into the relationship.
However once they are warmed up and feel comfortable with a man, they will want sex a lot, possibly even more than the man does.
The more relaxed a woman is with a man, the easier it is for them to have an orgasm and good sex.
Male sex drive
Women want a man who is strong and masculine, with masculine energy. A man needs to be sexual or there is nothing for them ro be attracted to.
Men just want to put that seed into a lady, if sex is 20 seconds it is great for them.
However women like sex to be as long as possible, slow gentle foreplay and so on, for an hour or even more. This will become boring for a man because he just wants to put his seed in her.
The man likes to be forceful and aggressive because that is hard strong masculine energy.
However women are delicate, sensitive and want him to be gentle when having sex with them. They want it to be that as he loves them, he does not want to hurt them.
Women are soft and sensitive, so want to be treated very gently, especially to avoid any pain as they are so sensitive.
Pleasure is receiving gentle caressing and kissing, hard pressing hurts, especially as they are so sensitive in their erogenous zones. Of course it needs to be done in a strong way, from a strong masculine man, or there is no sexual attraction or pleasure.
Remember though to still keep your masculinity and sexuality of being a man, men want to be hard and forceful when they are ‘doing it’ to a lady which is what men sexually are, or it just does work. If men are not true to what are, they cannot work.
Women are soft and nurturing so they want to be treated gently, but if you are not masculine and a man with all your sexual desires and drives, you cannot function as a male. This is because you will have no drive or ability to do sex, because you are not being true to your own sex. So the man will not be masculine, be able to do it and also there will be no masculinity for the lady to be attracted to. A women may want to things from a man, but he must be a man otherwise he will not work. He has to be a man, you have to remember what you want and how you work. As a man you will not have her hobbies and point of view, and if you do, you will probably no longer be a hetra sexual male.
So the woman wants it to be like a wild strong stallion that keeps himself under a degree of control so does not push her around too much, go inside her to quickly, come too quickly and is gentle. This also means that the man can spend time doing foreplay. The women can want foreplay and sex to be for almost an hour before the man comes in side her. The woman wants the man to be doing this because he wants to give her pleasure and loves her.
Inexperienced males will get very excited, so will not be able to hold themselves back self and so will ejaculate too quickly. The male needs to ensure he does not get over excited.
Good sex
Women want a man who has sexual prowess, so must be a consummate lover.
Women want a man who can read the body language of his partner; in nearly every sexual escapade, he knows exactly what his partner needs, even if she doesn’t realise it. This is so the man never needs to stop him to say that what he is doing isn’t working, it is almost always perfect.
So the man never fails to perform, the lady rarely needs to tell him what she wants; he knows.
For a woman, when a man has sex with them, it means that the man finds them special. The woman wants it to be that the man finds her special.
Whole body
Whereas men have less erogenous zones, penis, nipples, anal area, lips etc.
Women have many erogenous zones, in fact they like a man to touch, kiss and caress their entire body and every part of their. This is also because sex us a way for women of being loved and they want it to be that the man loves every part of their body. It is good if the man I can touch more than one place on theur body at once.
Kissing
On a first date with a man, the kiss is really important to a women, it determines if he is the right man for her and so on.
It needs to be a romance novel kiss like he really loves her.
Trust
Girls are only happy with guy touching them once trust them, as sexually the girl is delicate and has to surrender. To trust the man they have to know his personality. Touching is how the electricity happens between a man and a woman.
Of course some ladies trust more quickly than others
After orgasm
If the man gives the woman an orgasm, she will think and feel he is wonderful and fantastic. This feeling of hers will go on for minutes and hours. It is important that the man is still romantic during these times and does not for example talk about football, or his favourite science fiction program as this will kill the romance and so her mood, feelings and thoughts of how wonderful you are.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment November 6, 2014 6 MinutesBeing intelligentMany celebrities pretend to be ‘nice but stupid’ when they are actually highly intelligent. This is because most people are scarred, jealous of highly intelligent people. People also like to feel superior to other people and with intelligent people they feel inferior?
Evil people also want to get on top, squash anyone else who can work out their evil plans and anyone who can out compete them.
So best to be highly intelligent, but sometimes best to cover it up.
However moral people want other people to be aa intelligent as possible, even more intelligent than they are. This is best for the wider world that the moral person realises they are part of.
Also intelligent people find stupid people un interesting. So although the comedian, fool has their place to entertain people, people do not want to be friendly with such people and failures.
ready8 Psychology, Social skills, Spirituality Leave a comment October 29, 2014 1 MinuteImpermanence meditationImpermanence:
Impermanence has two parts to reducing selfishness.
1, realising that having things below God have less value:
A person selfishly wants things, however by becoming aware that possessions and even themselves are not permanent, they realise these things are not so valuable and want them less.
The opposite of wanting to gain thing is fear of loosing things. By a person becoming aware that possessing those items and the themselves are not permanent, they are not so scared of losing them. Also by realising that the pain of loss is not permanent, it comes and goes, they are also not scared of the pain of loss
a person’s life on earth is not permanent. This also means that they having their possessions is not permanent. A good way to become aware of this is, to meditate on all the people you know who have died.
meditate on the moment now, this ever moving razors edge of time is a powerful way of seeing that earthly things are not permanent.
other things to meditate on are best if they are things that are quickly fleeting like breaths and so on.
Possessions
By the ego realising the things it sees as ‘mine’ are impermanent, the ego has less validity.
This is because the ego can be from what it owns.
So by meditating on how things it has as ‘mine’ and ‘my’ are impermanent, the ego’s validity reduces.
‘Mine’ and ‘my’ can be very subtle, even things which a person thinks are selfless, can be done in an ego way. For example, my observation, my meditation, my benevolent thoughts.
So also have to look at how these are all impermanent and recognise when doing it with with ego.
2, Realising that everything is one
Why not realise things are impermanent
This is often because a person does not want to think things are impermanent. They have their friends, society structure, groups and possessions that they know. They do not want to loose them. However eventually they will and this will of course be painful.
People do not like change because to get the new, they have to loose the old.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment September 25, 2014 1 MinuteWanting AttentionA person may act silly and stupid because they want attention.
They may act in a way that results in them being bullied and they do this purely for attention. They may not realise that they are doing this.
Wanting attention is dangerous because it makes a person do things which may be bad for them.
The attention they get can be for doing bad things, in the way children may be naughty to get attention.
In fact as it is easier to do bad things than good things, in the same way it us easier to destroy a car or house than build one. So wanting attention is more likely to make them do bad things for attention if they have short term aims.
Of course in the long term doing destructive things for attention will mean they get less attention because of how things go wrong.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment September 24, 2014 1 MinuteHow to appear capableDo things properly:
Stand straight, do not slouch.
Do proper, full, complete movements and gestures. Do not cut them off through embarrassment, fear, nervousness, lazyness etc.
Speak fully and properly. Do not shorten or cut off your words and sentences. Speak fully, properly and clearly.
Think things through clearly, properly and to their end conclusion
Do things to do them properly, not just for show. For example do not sit up straight for show, do it to do it properly.
Do not do things by halves, do them properly.
However always make sure you are capable with things things for the right thing for God and other people.
Utimately it is thinking of others and doing things for others that will make you capable, because that is the highest motive.
Otherwise focusing on looking capable is just doing things for yourself. You will just be cold, selfish and no one will want to know you. This is because you are just appearing capable for yourself and selfish purposes. You are not giving and thinking of others!
Also people may hate you because they will be jealous and feel relatively small around you.
Also so that people can relate to you, it is also important to adapt so people can relate to you. Of you are more capable than them, then they will not be able to.
Also you may become stayed and boring, focusing on doing things properly is not being fun.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment September 12, 2014 1 MinuteBeing aware of spiritsTo be aware of spirits and messages from spirits:
spirit is lighter than a feather accross an eyelash.
inner voices quieter than a light whisper.
They are the quick flash of a message, anything that comes after is the ego trying to change it. This maybe because it cannot cope with what was said, or wants to control it.
Morals are needed to be aware of spirit
As spirit is so subtle, people who are selfish cannot be aware of spirits. This is because they are so much focused on themselves, their emotions, what they have and so on. This means they cannot be aware of the non ego things such as the higher parts of themselves and other beings.
Selfish people are also so full of less balanced and more erratic emotions, being less refined they are also less able to be aware of spirit which is itself more refined.
The first level to be able to be aware of spirit is to make sure you never do anything to hurt anyone. This is enough of a level for you to be aware of spirit. Most people do not manage to do that and so do hurt others and cause damage.
The next level is to truly care about others and so serve and do things for others. This will take you to higher levels and higher grade spirit guides and partners.
I find that conventional thinking makes me think that all the thoughts in my head are from me. When I am with Warren I can tell more the thoughts, impressions and so on are from other beings.
Impressions and thoughts are normally from spirits, but due to conventional athirst thinking, can think they are just your own thoughts
I find that conventional thinking I was brought up with caused by atheism in society, makes me think that all the thoughts in my head are from me. When many of the thoughts and impressions and so on are from other beings.
Impressions with knowledge from inner teacher spirits and so in my mind that I normally dismiss as delusion, or my own thoughts, I realise are real.
Also, answers I am given from asking questions with images to my inner teachers are actually from them and not just from me.
I am expecting great drama, excitement, effects etc. like in movies and television from the inner voices. So when the responses are very normal, I think that the voices are me and not inner teachers.
However they are just beings and so they are more normal, so I must realise that they are inner teachers.
So I need to be more discerning and get over my conventional atheist scientific thinking, that all thoughts are me and have faith in these other beings existing more. That many thoughts impressions images etc are from other beings and not me.
Hopefully I can discern more their character and nature to realise what thoughts are from others. I am finding it quite hard, as these communications are so everyday like my own thoughts.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment September 3, 2014 2 MinutesComplacencyWhen a person is successful, they focus on their successes and other people will see them as successful.
When a person believes they are wonderful and just focuses on this.
They think about their success and dwell on it, their ego gets bigger and bigger and bigger.
They have been focusing on themselves and their success and often lose the focus on service.
They loose the humility diligence of just being on the ground doing the work.
As they are in the habit of succeeding, they think that whatever they do they will succeed.
Then in their arrogance and complacency they think they can do less and less to succeed and they fail.
Also as a person succeeds they get more wealth and comforts, focusing on this wealth and comforts which makes them more and more lazy. A bit like a person who has worked hard for a comfy sofa and then becomes lazy lying on it.
An inflated ego
When a person has success it is very easy for it to go to the ego, signs that this has happened are:
●When a person started at the beginning of their journey of learning that trade, they were willing to do any job no matter how small, they now feel too important to do some of them.
●They no longer look at doing and working with the details, as they feel and believe that they are too important and what they do is too big.
●They no longer spend the time and effort that they use to in doing things. They have forgotten how hard it really was before to learn and get things right. As a result they will not be as effective and get the good results they used to.
Entitlement
Cannot take for granted people will buy from your business, this makes people work properly at it. Customers need to have a reason to buy from your business. If you are not the best or at least as good, they will not buy from you.
People may arrogantly think they are entitled to things when I’m truth they have not served, watched and listened to what other people want and need, have not changed with the times.
When someone succeeds, they get in the habit of thinking they will always succeed, when that is not the case.
Taking things for granted
Once something has been successful for a long time, success can be taken for granted. The minute you take them for granted, they’re dead. You’ve got to constantly approach it like it’s a new thing that you do not yet know if it will be successful. If a person goes ‘That always works, we’ll keep going with that.’ That would be a sure and certain death because things in life change.
When something is new and unknown a person works harder at it, because not know if will be successful.
Also when start again build a new thing that is better and right for a changed world.
ready8 Business, Psychology Leave a comment August 30, 2014 2 MinutesBeing true to yourselfThe secret to success in the universe is a person being true to themselves. So doing what works and is right for them, doing things in accordance to their nature, mission, destiny, there way of doing things.
Every person has a unique place, purpose and reason for being here. If a person this not do this things go badly until they eventually do what they are meant to be doing.
The universe has very different kinds of people, each has their own nature, destiny and being.
Each person has a role in the universe and if they do their job, what they are meant for, they will succeed, if not they are not made for this and will fail.
A very basic metaphor maybe if an introverted person who is good at detailed accounts, tries to be an extroverted sales person. An extrovert sales person tries to do detailed accounting work. Another is a cat trying to behave like a dog and the dog trying to behave like a cat.
A person’s makeup may not be for something that at that time makes them rich famous and powerful and this may make someone to do something different. For example actors and actresses in the 20th century got these things, but in Roman times were the lowest of the low. The same sole could be an actor, but at that time it was not appreciated.
A person has to be brave enough to be themselves and not just try and fit in. People who will like you will like you, people who do not like you would have not liked you much anyway. If a person is not being themselves, they will come over as fake, not authentic, other people will think there is something wrong, but not know what it is.
There are people who will follow abd want things from and follow someone who is true to themselves. That is because they have something real, genuine and unique to offer.
If a person is just fitting in and following others, there is nothing new and unique to offer.
People who do things to fit in, for example looking at what others do, to get their approval always look pathetic. This is because they are timid to be doing this, look scarred and doing this means they are being controlled by others.
Ultimately if a person does things, some will benefit and some will loose. Some will hate it and some will not. Even if only 1% or 50% of people like it and so you, you only need the people who like what you do and you can ignore the rest. If you are doing what everyone approves of, you are probably doing nothing.
Some successful people accept that 50% will love what they do and 50% hate it, but they get their income from the percent that like it.
Being true to yourself socially
If not able to love yourself, then no one else would be able to love you.
So need to do good so that can love yourself, if not will try and compensate with showing off etc. which of course makes it worse as it is an even less good thing to do.
If a person does not think they are good, then will think that other people will not want them, then the person puts up walls so people not see who they really are, then the person cannot function and is not authentic so no one will will want the person.
So need to be yourself and know there is nothing wrong with who you are.
Being interesting socially
If a person is pretending to be something they are not, then they are not interesting to be with socially.
This is because their fakeness is like a blank sheet which diverts and covers up from the feelings, emotions, thoughts, spirit etc. that make a person human. This stuff means there is real and actual stuff to relate to, interact and be with. Otherwise they have covered up what is going on.
When people appear on a reality tv show, they normally start showing off, pretending they are nicer and greater than they are. The big issue is they are pretending to be something they are not.
It is only after a while when they have relaxed and got on with being real, that they start being more themselves, they let people see who they are, that things get interesting for other people to see and watch.
Only then can people get to know them.
How to progress
To be successful, need to become more you, yourself, what you really are.
That is because, it is what you really are, your talents, abilities, purpose etc.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 29, 2014 3 MinutesLooking goodStrength
A man needs to be physically and psychologically strong to look good. A man is about strength and force, so of they are not strong they cannot be a good specimen of what they are.
Other things
Self love and not self loathing. Self love comes from loving God and so doing good, as a result there is a lot to love.
Stress
Low stress, as stress causes a person to look terrible. For example as the body cannot maintain itself with all the stress, the person’s skin colour and all kinds of things go down. Stress is also damaging for the body which also makes a person look bad.
Stress makes things look terrible, for example:
- muscles taught,
- jolty and shakey movements
- bad facial expressions
- bad posture
- etc.
Love
By loving God and others a person serves God and others. So a person is creating light on others and so shines.
Their skin becomes soft, light and they look great.
If a person does not love others and just thinks about themselves. They are just darkness that sucks in dark and so is the opposite of shining. They become dark, hard and dead.
A face where there is a look of love for others has, a smile where the sides of the mouth are higher up, eyes open, top of the eyelids higher up. The muscles in the face are soft and gentle.
Love of course is attractive, so the person looks attractive.
Energy
If a person has energy it shines out and looks great.
Also on a physical level as a person’s body is full of energy their posture will be standing upwards, muscles soft, skin colour good, facial expressions good etc. When a person has loads of energy.
Big smiles
A big smile says that the person is happy. Happiness is not the same as love for others.
A huge smile can distort the face so the person looks less attractive. So a gentle smile full of love looks best.
A good smile is about the height at the sides of the mouth. Even a tiny move up or down at the sides makes a huge difference.
For a friendly face never lift up the top centre of the lip by itself on purpose, unless want to be aggressive and hateful as that is showing the sharp incisors which means a fight.
Must mean a smile, or whatever you do will have a dull thud of being feke.
Taking time and space that need
A person may appear weak and meagre, if when they are doing things, they do not take the space and time they need.
This can be seen as not taking the territory they need.
Personal space:
To appear confident and established, your body must take up and use the space it needs Vertical space from sitting upright, horizontal space for your hands to reach out and be.
Time to do things:
A person also needs to take the time they need, such as taking the time they need to speak properly, getting the emotional, feeling, thought and spiritual aspect of what they are saying out in it’s best way.
Some people may speak too fast, as they do not take the time needed to get their point out properly and at ease. This can be because they think others during that time will get and take the time from them, such as by interrupting them etc.
It makes them look weak and meagre because they are:
•worried that other people would do this this
•they have not spoken effectively because they have not had the time to do so.
Be relaxed
A person looks good when they are relaxed so:
●Their muscles are soft
●The inner them and their character can come out
●They are not using up their energy so it can come out
A person’s muscles go to tight when they are scarred, so it is caused by fear. This is also because the person is defending themselves and so getting tougher.
Straight posture so high up
This is so can look the highest and best that can be. If are lower means are less good.
A sense of beauty
People look like they are psychologically.
A person who is evil will look nasty and evil.
A person who is good will look benevolent and nice.
Their actual nature effects their posture, voice, voice tone, how they speak, move, look, etc.
It will also affect how they look physically, bone structure etc. They grow into what they are.
A person that looks good tends to have a sense of beauty. They are aware of the energy of beauty and what it is in the universe.
This influences them. However to be beautiful they have to have a sense of this and how it is nice for others. So they are beautiful so others have something nice to look at.
It is not about having and getting beauty for themselves, as that is ugly.
Being good and not evil
If you have good thoughts, it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. (Roald Dahl) So when someone takes a picture of you, have thoughts of doing good.
It has a good effect on the higher parts of your spirit, psyche and so also effects you physically. That also in your expression, muscles, skin tone etc.
In the long term being good also effects a person physically. A person has to be good genuinely, it cannot be feked.
“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
Roald Dahl, from his book The Twits.
Ultimately good is good looking and evil is bad looking. Being evil is horrible and destructive so makes a person look worse and worse
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment June 24, 2014 4 MinutesSpeechesPeople are persuaded by emotion, not by logic. A person needs to put emotion and feeling into a speech for it to work.
A person also need to speak slowly so the emotion can come out. It is like playing a song, which of course will not work if play too quickly. The emotion and feelings are what matters and if a person rushes when they speak, the emotion in it will not happen. Then the beauty, power and interest will be lost.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 31, 2014 1 MinuteGood and evilFundamentally there are two forces, energies in the universe, good and evil.
All the complcations of all the good and bad things in this world basically stem from these two.
Once a person can recognise these, when they meet a person, they can see how much good or evil a person has, it is that fundamental.
Good is about:
service
giving
love
creation
it looks at the good and beautiful things in life
good just does the job and does not think about getting things.
to be good a person thinks about the needs and welfare of others.
good loves and respects God, as God is about morality and doing what is right for the whole universe and God.
Good creates warm, light and shines. As it is good and for all the good karma goes on and it becomes more and more amazing and wonderful.
Evil thinks of itself, is about wanting, getting, having, taking. In this taking, grasping, things in it’s territory just die. Evil just sucks things in and takes over. Once there is nothing more to take, it dies. As it thinks about itself, it takes no account of others.
To change sides, a person simply thinks about:
the needs and welfare of others
the needs and welfare of God
what God wants from yourself
this will grow and over ride the person thinking about themselves. This is especially because there are so many more people than the person themselves (and on top of this there is God who is infinite), so the needs and welfare of others takes over and a person cannot do this if they are being selfish.
A person should listen and look at what good recommends and advises, instead of what evil says should do.
By serving God a person does what is right, as God does what is right.
Also the divine good and does not think of itself. That is how a person can be on that level.
How to spot if someone is good or evil
A lot of hate: evil prople hate things that are good, not just things that are bad. Whatever event they go to, thing they see, or people they meet they hate. This is because they want so much, nothing is good enough.
Good people are happy with just what they need and that is very little. So good people like things, like all good things and are positive about things. A good person should hate evil, but a good person does not relish or take pleasure from hating evil, but know has to fight evil for the greater whole.
Lust: If something is put in front of them like a joint of meat to eat, or money, they want it too much. They will not be able to stay good and do the right thing when they just want so much.
Field force: Can tell from a person’s field force if they are good or evil. Can also tell other things such as if they are innocent, or wise.
Good will and ill will towards others
If you ever feel like hurting damaging or injuring yourself, or even committing suicide, it could be because you are near someone that has ill will towards you.
If someone does have ill will towards you, it is horrible. Will and choice is a very powerful thing in the universe. It is the first stage that fundamentally effects and determines what is.
There are psychological and spiritual levels, so by being aware of what happening to yourself, you can realise are affected by those things and so become aware of what is happening on these levels.
If a person has good will towards you, you will want to achieve feel good about yourself, improve yourself and be happy.
To have goodwill towards others, practice having good will towards others. It will lead to you becoming a more good person, friendly, helpful, benevolent, kind hearted, considerate, thoughtful and so on.
People with good will have better social skills, because people want to be near them as they feel they have good will towards them. This accelerates into the good person being in a better world.
For the person who has ill will to others, it is also very self destructive and they will be shy with bad social skills and so on.
Evil
Evil people do not take into account that every action has consequences, and inevitable results. This is also a good way to change a person from evil to good.
For example:
- hitting someone else, means that the other person will want to hit back and so the person will get hurt.
- A thief will eventually get caught and punished, it may not be for their first crime, but they will eventually get caught.
Evil wants to take and have things. It also may not want it for the right reasons.
Evil just takes from good, evil dies once it has consumed good as there is nothing left for it to live on.
Desire and wanting things
People often do think that desire and wanting things is bad.
However it actually depends on what the person wants.
If a person wants to do good wants what is best for all, to serve God and do what is right, then it is good. The stronger the desire and want for this is the better it is.
Without this desire to do good the person will do nothing and that is bad.
So it is not the desire that is good or bad, it is what the person actually wants that determines it.
A person who really wants to do good and really wants what is best for others, has the impetus to create a lot.
Of course a person just wanting things for themselves, without any thoughts of others, will go down the path of evil.
Other ways to see good and evil
Aim: Good has the aim of doing what is right, not just what advances it’s own self interest.
Caring: Good cares about others the whole universe, that caring is a big deal, it realises all is one. It means has this great perspective.
Further information
To be a good person needs a huge heart.
This is huge feelings and emotions that spill over into the world and others that cares for and thinks about other people in the same way as the person thinks about themselves. In that way the person is and thinks about other people.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment May 30, 2014 4 MinutesSocial skills (needyness)If a person needs a lot from another person, that person will not want to be with them. It is a huge turn off when someone is needy and people will not want to be with them.
The person will feel and be able to tell that the other person needs these things from them and that is a big liability because the person needs these things so much.
People do not want to be friendly with needy people, because their needyness means they have to have things from other people. As a result they are taking from others and not giving.
It means that this other person wants to take and get this thing from others.
Needyness also makes a person look weak and pathetic because:
why do they not already have that thing?
why have other people not wanted to give it to them?
they are out of control, self control and pathetic, as they have to have it so much?
they are dependent on others as have to have these things, so in the hands of others. As a result others can control them.
they can be desperate and stressed about if they do not get them.
A person maybe needy because:
they have faults and need that person to compensate for those faults.
they do not have certain things in their life and need that person to fulfil them
they are greedy and selfish so have to have things to satisfy them.
Needy people have huge fear, anxiety and stress about getting the thing they need. This is also horrible and unpleasant for other people to be around.
Many times, the harder a person nervously chases something – the less likely they are to get it.
They may, in fact, actually drive it even further away.
Things a person may be needy for
Approval from others:
Makes a person pathetic, it is like they are a jigsaw puzzle with a bit missing and they have to suck in approval from others to get it. They look all over the place to see if people are giving approval, showing off to get approval from others and they look desperate. They look like they are not enough, do not have enough and do not think enough of themselves.
A person wanting this may also psychically transmit words and pictures to other people saying how wonderful and amazing they are except etc. All these things to get approval.
A person is only wanting approval from others as they do not approve of themselves. So the first cure is for a person to do things so that they approve of themselves.
Getting attention:
This is normally because the person is a nothing and has not achieved anything. The cure is to set about achieving things even small things which are based on reality.
A person may be so desperate for attention they do things to attract attention. That they might even do things that attract negative attention, like being bullied and other things, simply because they want attention so much.
Being reliant on getting approval from others
It needs to be that you don’t need the other person or people to think you’re great or good. You are just fine and happy with your life and how you are.
If you need other people around you to think you’re great, they won’t be so comfortable with you and they can’t depend and rely on you so much and have confidence as you are so needy. This is because they know you can only perform it if you have this from the people around you.
if people talk telling you you’re great, it doesn’t normally mean you’re great, it means they can tell you need to be told that.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 16, 2014 3 MinutesEmpathyEmpathy means being joined, connected, together, with someone. So when they experience something then you do too.
It really means that the empathic person is so with the other person, that they become one, as they experience what the other person experiences.
To do this a person must not think about me, I and themselves. They need to think about the other person and being with them. It is thinking of the other person, being with the other person, for the sake of the other person.
Then a person can:
•experience them
•be the other person and their world.
•be happy when they are happy, be sad when they are sad
•be joined, connected and one with them.
Advantages
It means a person can be more moral because they are aware of others, experience others and so others matter. It especially can stop someone from being a psychopath.
It means a person can become aware of others on a psychic level. As everything is one, a person can connect with others and be one with them.
Socially
A person wants to be social with others, it means they can do things together with other people and are not alone. Examples are eating with other people, spending time with other people, doing things with other people, etc.
Empathy means can do emotions with other people, so being with them on an emotional level. So can be happy with the other person, sad with the other person and all the other emotions.
If a person is sad, it is nice and attractive for them, to be sad with other people. This means they are going through it with others, together, supported and not alone.
By feeling with others you are in the same place as them and so can help them. By not feeling things with them, you are in a different place, so cannot be with them in the same place.
Also when a person is empathic with another person, the other person feels that the first person is on their side.
Empathy is what enables therapists to work out other people, their problems and gain their trust.
Being empathic means that a person is not alone, they will not feel alone.
If a person is not empathic, they can be with loads of people on the physical plane, but psychologically and spiritually they will be very much alone. This will also mean that they will feel alone.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment May 14, 2014 2 MinutesStressStress is very dangerous.
Stress on a physical level is a hormone and strain. On a psychological level is an energy, feeling and emotion.
Stress can lead to a stroke, heart attack etc
Stress is caused by doing things, so there will always be some stress.
The bigger or harder the thing, the more stress it will cause.
However stress is often accelerated by the person’s aim, attitude, why they are doing the thing, how they are doing it etc.
Causes of stress
Entertainment and stimulation:
People can get stressed purely for their own entertainment and so they do not get bored. Just like a person watches a television show with a drama, adventure and so on. Another example is driving down twisty, turny roads and driving dramatically for fun.
People make their life more dramatic, have dramatic thoughts and create dramatic situations for their own entertainment. Without this their lives are quite boring as there is no drama.
In this way people actually enjoy stress. It makes people feel alive and without it they feel dead. Then when a person looses their stress they feel sad that it has gone.
Thinking that what they are, have, could gain, could loose are really big. This is of course ego!
It is best for a person to focus on doing good for God and others. Not doing silly things like creating drama and so stress for their own entertainment.
Stress, a person not acting within their limitations. For example a person getting older and not realising their real age, so acting like they are younger than they are. This causes stress, uses up all their energy etc.
Turning energy into stress:
When a person receives energy from above, it is neutral and up to them what they do with it.
A person can decide to turn it into stress and create stress.
They choose to create stress energy.
Impossible aims:
An impossible aim maybe to do something:
more quickly than can be done
without paying tge proper price such as time, energy, learning, money etc.
bigger than what the person is currently capable of doing.
etc.
Doing something morally wrong or illegal
Can lead to huge stress and fear. Trying not to get found out and stave off unavoidable karma.
Competition
Also doing something impossible like win against an adversary who is better than you are, leads to huge stress.
Advantages of low stress
Low stress is important to look good in photos. Stress makes a person look rigid, ill, pale, unwell, unattractive, not nice to be around and unhealthy.
Stress means that the body cannot maintain itself as it is so busy with the stress. Small examples are hair loss, lack of appetite as cannot digest food properly and so on.
Low stress means people will like being with you and you will look good.
Problems that stress causes
Stress is very damaging.
Looks: A person with stress looks terrible, their skin colour is terrible facial expressions posture and everything is wrecked and destroyed by stress.
Health: stress is very dangerous for health, leading to strokes, heart attacks, massive weight loss and all kinds of other issues. It basically destroys the body.
Socially: People do not want to be around a person with stress, they do not want to be exposed to that energy. As the world is one it will come on to other people. They do not want that and will react to it. As they pick up your stress and become more stress themselves they will react and behave worse with you.
Mentally: a stressed person is all over the place, they cannot concentrate and perform. They are focused on the stress and not on the job. The stress just takes over and they cannot function
Cures for stress
1, Need to realise how dangerous, damaging and bad stress is. This means that when a person is in a situation that causes stress, they realise that however great what they will receive it from doing the stressful job, it is not worth it compared to the cost of stress.
They must then realise what the cost of stress are, which are highlighted above.
2,. Regularly monitor your stress by being conscious of it. Just by being conscious of it, the light of awakening means that it will be seen, so it will get sorted out.
Yes there are opportunities, but also be aware of your limitations.
Sadly when a person is the most stressed, they are less able and aware, so may even think they are less stressed than they really are. This is when electronic stress monitors are useful.
3, This is a big one! Become aware of, meditate and focus on the causes of stress. For example when going along in daily life, if notice a job comes up that will do within the next day and observe that your stress is increasing as a result of thinking about this or doing it. Then you can make changes needed to reduce stress, such as setting a new target of doing it in a longer time, or doing less of the job.
As a result of this and see what is causing stress.
Other things are:
Realise what you are, have, could gain, could loose are not really big. They are small relative to the rest of the world and also impermanent.
When a person thinks of the needs of welfare of others, they do things for others. This bebevolence overides and so stops the person being selfish.
Stress is often excessive because a person is being selfish and it comes from their selfish fear or desire.
If a person cares about the needs and welfare of other people, they realise that them being stressed is not good for others and is not helping them. It is an unpleasant energy and emotion that is not good for others.
For example it is important to give other people emotional support. This cannot be done when a person is stressed, because of negativity and horribleness of stress emotion and energy. When a person is stressed they are all over the place so cannot be supportive to others. By wanting to give others emotional support, it takes the person away from being stressed. This is because they focus on being things for others and not for themselves, as they are not so selfish.
4, When energy comes down it’s neutral, but it gets turned into lots of different kinds of things, sadness, hate, happiness and someone.
You can decide what energy types who would use if your energy. If you use stress, anger, sadness and so on, what kind of energy is you will use.
Choose not to get your energy from stress, it will be there and don’t repress it, but just don’t use it. As a result it will become less important and matter less.
When you have energy, all the different kinds of energies emotions and feelings, decide just to use the useful and good ones.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 5, 2014 5 MinutesInvestingFor every investment need to clearly know:
the exact monetary figures to the dollar
dates
specific circumstances
financial situation
how much profit expect to make from each investment.
Never break a promise made as part of a business deal.
Never run any risk that can be avoided
ready8 Business Leave a comment May 2, 2014 1 MinuteManagement (motivating people)Be the best
Tell people to be the best, so they are motivated to be the best in their team, company, the world.
However need to ensure that this competition does not go to the negative side of backstabbing or damaging the work of other people in the company.
Winning
People want to be on the winning team, be on the team where a winner is the leader. To be able to tell people what they have done and they are impressed.
The reflected glory of being in a company where the head manager is highly respected.
However need to be careful of the possible evil where staff can be jealous and want to steal from the leader. So the leader must be generous and do things with the staff.
Pride in a good job
This is a big motivator and something to set an example with and stress to staff.
This is something that an anti management union can destroy in staff. It can even go so far as pride in doing a bad job to try and destroy management.
ready8 Business Leave a comment April 24, 2014 1 MinuteFightingMorals
Morally every creature has a right to defend itself and use force to do so.
However a creature does not have a right to take things from others.
Good people protect good people from bad people.
Bad people take things from good people. It can be subtle, like insulting somebody to lower or take things away from them, so the bad person is then relatively better than the victim.
So need to love good and hate evil. Must realise though that evil is part of the one and so self, because all is one. However if evil, for the sake of the whole, it still has to reform itself or go.
Ways to win
Only start or go into a fight if you know you will win.
Never act out of spite
Never act out of revenge, old chinese proverb, someone who goes out for revenge should dig a grave for themselves as well as the other person.
Justice is fine as it is for others, not for yourself. Karma happens naturally from God, everything has consequences. It is especially needed if a person will not accept they have done wrong, so that they learn the lesson that they should not do it. It is fine if it is deserved by the person who has done wrong, but not if there are mitigating circumstances.
Emotions
Need to have courage and bravery, this is an emotion as well as an intellectual concept. That is why people who are not aware of their emotions cannot do it.
To fight need to get angry and hate what need to destroy. This is because they are emotions and feelings about destruction. This also helps get past the fear of not wanting to hurt oneself.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment April 1, 2014 1 MinuteAlpha Males compared to Beta MalesA lot of this content comes from the website ‘Modern Male Lifestyle’, I just added my own experiences and a spiritual dimension which I believe is needed to make it work.
Alpha males are the ones at the top of the pack, they have power; status, strength, fame, money and are top of the political hierarchy.
Beta males: those lower down or at the bottom of those hierarchies.
What gets someone to be an alpha male:
This all tends to come from being moral as the male gets it for the sake of God and the people he is serving. As a result he receives, gets to appreciate and understand about the following.
Courageous, wise, strong, power and everything in life working out.
Do what is right even if others disapprove, this is because they have courage and self esteem. They are not dependent on wanting approval from others.
Take responsibility and calculated risks, they do not expect or want others to take ir for them. As a result they can do what is right and not just follow the herd and just do what they are told.
Self esteem, confidence, secure in themselves, what they are and do.
What gets someone to be a beta male
This all tends to come from being selfish as the male does not deserve to have the following things as he is not doing things sake of God and other people.
Coward, stupid, weak powerless and nothing works
Is so desperate for and dependent on the approval of others, will do things so that others like him, approve of him even if they are ultimately wrong for him and for others. They have low self esteem so desperately need to be loved and admired by others.
Do not take responsibility and calculated risks, want others to take it for them. As a result they do not do what is right and just follow the herd, or just do what they are told.
Low esteem, lack of confidence, insecure
Examples
Beta male: Makes excuses. Every time there’s something he can’t do, he has an excuse, and feels like he needs to explain it to those around him.
Alpha male: Never puts the blame on someone else. He always faces his obstacles head on regardless of the odds of success. He never complains about problems, but works to find solutions to them. If there is something he doesn’t want to do – as opposed to can’t do – he offers no explanation, he has self esteem and courage so does not have to justify himself to others for their approval.
Roller coasters? Nah, thats’ not me. Let’s do something cool instead.
Tip: Be on the lookout for the phrase: “I can’t do this because…” You don’t make excuses. Not only to other people, but especially yourself. When there is blame to go around – blame yourself for your failures. Why? Because you are acknowledging that you take responsibility and so have the power. – if you are the reason something is not being done, then you fix it. The mindset that evolves is that you take responsibility not only your shortcomings, but your successes. (Please do remember your place though in the hierarchy, God is and the higher words are ultimately in control and in charge of everything)
Beta male: Needs affirmation from others. Is obssessed with how others think of him.
Alpha male: Will listen to what others think as can cope with other people’s honest opinions, even when they are not in his favour. He will however then do what he think is right even if others do not approve. He does not do things so that other people think more of him as he wants that. This makes him very attractive as he is not dependent on others for approval and so controlled by them.
Simply be confident about how others perceive you. You will act accordingly. Anyone who looks down on you is either for a reason you listen to, agree with and resolve, or you do not care what they think as doing what they think is a road to ruin as they are wrong, or they are jealous, and also not worth your time. You do not have time for people who are counter-productive to your self-improvement or being effective.
Beta male: Talks fast, always seems to be nervous or in a rush.
Alpha male: Talks slowly, and in deeper tones. His movements are smooth. Translation: You are in control of your life. (The person just does what is right, but God is ultimately in control and determines what happens and if things succeed of fail. Also you are just one of 6 billion people on the planet, without these perspectives you will become a monster)
Tip: Before you walk in anywhere – catch yourself. Slow down – catch your breath and then make it look like you are walking through water. This speed is caused by the fear, panic and stress of wanting to have things now and not wanting to loose things.
As stated earlier, begin to create an image of smoothness and you will naturally start to become smoother. You are in control, you have emotions but you also have self control.
Beta male: Lives life by the day not really knowing what he wants. Will waste time on the couch, rather than doing something productive. He is lazy and passive.
Alpha male: Lives life passionately, passion in anything is essential for anything to be successful. Not the selfish passion of wanting something selfishly, but the emotion and passion to do good and do good things for others and God. . He has goals – and is focused on his goals and dreams and tears down any barriers in-between.
Tip: You must find a goal you want to achieve, or create one. Even if it’s simply to get better with women. Have something that when those “lay on the couch” moments present themselves, you can say, “I will do something to work toward my goal of ________ instead.” Without an exact aim, things cannot succeed.
Beta male: Gives up when he fails. Sees no point in trying and is fearful of facing failure again.
Alpha male: Failing at anything is only a mistake if you do not learn from it. Repeating failed behavior is insane – learning from failed behavior and trying something new is alpha. So the alpha is courageous and not just reliant on habits, routines and traditions. Failure is only a minor setback to you. When you are moving forward by trying something new, you will be unlikely to get it right first time and need many many attempts at different ways to find the best – and second, the sooner you can learn from his mistakes and succeed. No mistakes means not doing anything new, differently and trying new and better ways to do things
Tip: If what you are doing (like, with women for example) isn’t working, you must be open to try something new. This always feeds your adventurous side – something women love.
Beta male: Uses the word, “sorry” a lot – even when it doesn’t belong in the conversation. He apologises to others because he feels he might have offended them somehow. Others are his cruel master and mistresses and he is scared of them and he is lower down the social hierarchy.
Alpha male: Will not apologise for his desires and beliefs. alphas do apologise, but only when they truly believe they should. They are in charge and control. They do not try and make other wrong people feel better in ways that are not justified or deserved, in order to be liked.
Betas may for example put themselves down or saying sorry for things they did not do, just so the other person undeservedly feels they are superior as they think that the alpha person is crap.
The beta will not try and gain the approval of evil people, because this means doing wrong as that is what evil people want them to do and will approve of. The alpha male knows that is a road to ruin. Also evil people will approve of the beta male if he allows the evil people to take from them. This could be all kinds of taking, even the beta allowing evil people to mock them which is of course taking their dignity.
The alpha will lift others up as high as possible, so others feel great about themselves. However they will not put themselves down to make others feel better. Normally a beta does this to be liked, or for attention. It is not positive and is just feeding evil people who want others to be worse off and destroyed.
The world is one and the alpha knows that putting himself down is not constructive to the whole world. Lifting others up is constructive and creative to the whole world.
The alpha sees the world is one, so is happy for others when they succeed. He does not need others to be worse than him to think he is better in relative terms. When others are worse off it makes him sad, the world is one so the other person is the same Self.
This is especially effective as a compliment from a successful person such as an alpha, means more than if it came from a failed person.
Beta male: Believe it or not – he has a big ego. But it backfires on him because he is too sensitive and insecure regarding everyone’s opinion of him. So he constantly is trying to prove himself by qualifying – or stating his qualifications.
Alpha male: Never feels like he must prove himself. His ego is his ally. Here is the truth: Big egos are a result of low-esteem. A man who is truly confident in himself never needs to lash out at someone who insulted his ego.
Beta male: Always searching for approval and attention.
Alpha male: Does not seek attention – and therefore always gets it. But know that you can always be the most powerful presence in any room or situation. Why? People need to be led as they want others to take responsibility for them and do not want to take any risks. That’s why leaders are few as not many want to take responsibilityand any risks, followers are many as so many do not want to take responsibility and any risks.
Tip – Don’t selfishly feel the need to entertain a room full of women with displays of this and that. Betas are often clamouring for attention yet can never get enough – and alphas never want attention yet get too much.
In a room with a bunch of beta males and a bunch of girls you will notice how the girls respond to the alpha. He’s calm and laid back – the girls all turn their heads to him.
Beta male: Will never admit to his faults and mistakes.
Alpha male: Is not afraid to face his faults and overcome his failures. Admission is the first step to solving a personal setback or problem.
Beta male: Gets jealous really easily when he sees his girl talking with another guy.
Alpha male: Is supremely confident in his ability and status. If his girlfriend is talking to other guys, he goes to talk with everyone. He knows that life is about giving and not about taking from others
Beta male: Easily blows his stack. He loses his temper when someone else criticises him or when a girl disrespects him.
Alpha male: Is a complete picture of cool. He is angry so that he has powerful emotions, but also never loses his composure. If something upsets him, he shows his disapproval of it without getting mad or whining.
Tip: If someone tries to get you into a fight, simply leave. Don’t react emotionally. It’s on them and one has control over you or your mood.
Beta male: If he loses his girl, he loses all hope in life and thinks that he cannot live without “the one” – her.
Alpha male: If a woman leaves an alpha, he simply loves that there are thousands of other girls just as good or better than the girl who dumped him. His life is not centered around one girl, and he has no problem moving on.
Beta male: Did he take a shower? Did he get dressed in the dark? It’s like he is always messy, dirty, or poorly groomed.
Alpha male: Is always dressed welland groomed well. He has superior etiquette. Think: James Bond.
Tip: When you know you took the time to look better, you are happier and thus exude more confidence.
Beta male: Is afraid to meet new people.
Alpha male: Is ready to meet new people.
Beta male: Poor body language – slouches. He stands and sits uncomfortably, as if he is nervous.
Alpha male: Takes up the space he needs whenever he sits down or rests. Is in control of his getting his needs. Nothing surprises or startles him as he has courage and is prepared for things.
Beta male: Looks to quickly get into a relationship, as if he is desperate for a girlfriend.
Alpha male: Is not only not desperate for women, he is never desperate for anything. When you are not desperate for women’s attention or affection, it’s implied that you have plenty of it – which puts you at ease, and excites women.
Beta male: Is a pushover with women. He is willing to commit to a woman as soon as they give him the greenlight.
Alpha male: Does not let a woman push him about and rule his life so that he is no longer his own person Ever.
Beta male: Becomes wide-eyed when he sees someone do something, like he has never seen that before.
Alpha male: Act like you’ve been around in the world before, are experienced and not innocent. Of course is still affectionate and respectful of others. Lifts them up as they are so great as he is a giving person.
Beta male: Women are his number one priority.
Alpha male: He does what is right and does not let women rule his life if it goes against this.
Self control
Alpha male: Has all their emotions running whether it be anger, stress, sadness etc and uses them as they are energy and important. As a result he has powerful emotions as they are fostered, cared for and left to run. He can face and live with painful emotions. However the person is always in control of themselves, has self control and can control his feelings if needed. A person cannot control others, unless he can first control themselves.
Beta male: has weak emotions and feelings, is scarred of them and may even oppress them. Cannot face and take painful emotions and feelings. When a strong emotion comes along, it carries him away and he has no self control. Also when emotions come along he is swayed by them and has no self control.
ready8 Life skills and knowledge Leave a comment April 1, 2014 10 MinutesLeadershipA leader is someone that others follow because they want to.
A manager is someone that tells people what to do.
For example a leader will go up a hill and others will follow them because they choose to.
A manager will tell other people to go up a hill but not do it themselves.
Having people follow a leader because they want to and follow the leader’s example is the most effective.
Most people just want to tell others what to do and not do the unpleasant and difficult tasks needed to set an example.
To be a leader
1, help people all you can. The leader is there to serve and help the people in the organisation. This is also the only way of setting an example, that it is organisation that is positive and creative.
2, Set an example: it does not matter what the leader says it is the example that will cause the effect. The leader can say anything they like, but if they do not set example, nothing will happen.
For example, a leader can tell people to be honest, but if they do not set that example, people will be dishonest.
The leader must have passion and live it for real.
3, Reward and punishment: the leader needs to work out the behaviours they want to happen and reward and punish accordly.
The need to be in balance too much pain assessment they will hate you too little then the bad people take over and all is lost.
If the leader is too generous there is nothing left in the organisation and it goes bankrupt. If not generous enough, then nobody wants to do anything.
How to get people to follow you.
It needs to be the people follow the leader because they like, respect and think he or she is the best person for the job.
People think that the person is the best for them. So a leader must welcome people to come up and ask him questions. He answers them honestly, to the best of his ability. Also being honest about when he does not have the answer.
People will only work for a leader and as a team, when they know the leader truly cares about them.
It must not be because people see that the person has been promoted to that that position, but they do not think the person is worthy of that the position, so is having to gradually do what they told.
So people do what they are told because they have to, or they will be fored, not because they respect him, think he is the best for the job and want to.
The leader needs to have confidence in what are doing, only then will other people have confidence in them too.
People want love and support, people will go along with and go with others in order to get that.
If the leader looks like they are strained, few will follow.
Confidence
If a person is not confident in themselves, what they are doing and saying, then no one else will either. As a result no one will believe in, or do what the person is saying, so they cannot be effective. Also a person has to be confident to be effective.
If a leader is truly confident in themselves, then other people will be as well.
Also staff will want to do their own thing and even take authority away from the manager. If the manager is confident in themselves and what they are doing, the staff member is less likely to do that.
Other things
A leader takes people with them, so people want to come along. A leader does not boss and tell people what to do.
However in a crisis, someone has to take control as there not time for a discussion, so the leader does tell people what to do. However people should be trained and have practiced what to do in a crisis, so that should rarely happen.
This is because as many crisis situations as possible should have been prepared for and things need to continue even if the leaders is killed.
Difference between a leader and a manager
A leader people want to follow, a manager just tells people what to do.
People do what a manager tells them because for example, in the job they want the salery, or that manager has been put in charge even though people don’t agree with it, but they have to do what they are told.
With a leader people know the leader is good at it as they have seen them actually do it. The leader does it and they follow behind the leader.
So if a mountain needs climbing, the leader climbs the mountain and the other people follow him. Even if it is unpleasant and uncomfortable, the leader will do it if it is something they are asking people to do.
As a result people can see that the leader is the best one for the job, gets on with it and good at it. As a result they will follow.
A manager does not do this, people just do what they are told because the manager tells them what to do it. If there is something unpleasant uncomfortable the manager will not do it, just tell others to.
A leader is with people so that they can talk to them and people can ask them questions. A manager does not, just stays in their office giving out orders.
It is leaders who create great organisations, not managers.
Direction
A leader just tells people the direction to go in and they do it. It means the leader needs to spend a little time on the business as staff know the direction to go in and do it.
However a manager does not say this Direction, just the massive micromanagement details of what the person needs to do as they do not know this direction.
The manager has massive amounts of work to do as the staff do are not able to do it all themselves.
The leader is far more effective as staff know what direction to go in and just do it, this also means the manager can delegate and has to use very little of their own time.
Safe and happy
People working in a business want to be safe and happy. It is the job of a leader to make them feel that.
This also has the advantage of enabling them to perform better, because they are in a better environment. The staff can also take risks because they are feeling safe and happy. This is from Simon Sinek.
Why people think they should follow you
People will only want to follow you, if they think that you’re great, perfect, everything in your life is going great and you have the answers.
They think if your life is going well, then that shows you know what you’re doing and what you say must be working and worth listening to.
Of course if there’s something people know is going wrong and they ask you about it then you have to admit to it or they don’t trust you. However don’t lay all your problems on other people and show them, as then they will see you have concrete boots, not trust you and be so interested in what you have to say or do.
ready8 Management Leave a comment February 22, 2014 5 MinutesSelf esteemIf a person has low self esteem and is insecure, they cannot cope with ideas different to their own, because they cannot cope with the fact that they might be wrong.
A fragile self-esteem makes people unable to cope to the slightest criticism, even if it would be constructive to them.
So to compensate they become narcissistic.
Then they tend to compensate with an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration.
They create this feke mask of ultra-confidence.
Such people also try and believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings.
A person with low self esteem also refuses to accept that someone else, or something else may be great. This is because, to feel better about themselves, they try and believe that everything else is rubbish. This means they loose out from enjoying other things and learning from them.
They chase after other people saying they are great, to compensate against the bigger truth that they themselves do not think that they are any good.
They go after wanting other people to think they are nice and great, status, show, ostentation, showy career and competition stuff.
However it is superficial and other people can tell it is fake, not real and the person is really empty and nothing.
The paradox is that this which is done to compensate makes it even worse as it is even more feke and superficial.
The person becomes obsessed by the mask, they focus even more on feking it, the superficial and so become even more empty.
The only real solution is for a person to be real, value other people, caring genuinely about other people, so become fuller and more real on the inside.
As the higher inner levels are more powerful and create the lower levels, the person comes more real on the outside. Also other people on their inside can tell that the person is real.
By working on real creation, things done regardless of show. Then there is a real base, depth and genuineness.
This leads to real self esteem as it is genuine construction and creation.
People who have genuinely achieved and created things, not superficial show, have nothing they have to prove to themselves and so not need to prove things to others. As a result they do not need and are not wanting compliments from others.
Not giving others power over your self esteem
A person has control over their self esteem. Other people cannot control it.
People can give control of their self esteem to others and not realise this in fact cannot be done. When a person does not give control of their self esteem to others, then ladies want to be with them as they are more together.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment February 1, 2014 2 MinutesKissing (advice for men)A kiss has to be like it is from a man, so not a little peck like it is from a wood pecker. Pecks are for birds, nobody wants to go out with a bird.
It has to be like the man really wants her as she is so lovely and beautiful, full of passion.
If it is on the lips then a full long kiss like you really want to be there. A french kiss needs to be full of love and psssion.
It is a way of the man communicating to the lady how wonderful and beautiful the man thinks she is and a way of giving her pleasure.
Women find a good kiss from a man romantic, because it is a way of expressing how much he loves her.
This is why it also has to be done romantically and not like it is a kiss from a friend.
Also scientifically the testosterone in the man’s saliva goes to the ladies mouth and that makes it and him attractive.
Dating
A woman does not feel anything in her lower regions for a man unless, she is french kissed. Full on, tongues doing their stuff, your tongue around hers and then your tongue goes around the other way around hers and so on, says Patti Stanger.
A lady may think that a man is not that great, not be interested in him and think he is rubbish, but when he french kisses her, she then thinks that he is amazing and everything changes!
It is important to try and kiss a lady both on the lips and with your tongue on a first date if possible.
Yes a lady may be wary and may not feel comfortable to have sex with a guy until many dates later on, this to check he is serious and they are comfortable with him. However girls like kissing and that is okay on a first date, girls want kissing with lips and tongues, they see it as romantic.
However be careful to not upset or annoy them by trying to go further than kissing if they have not signified or seem that they want this.
Hence the Cher song:
‘If you want to know
If he loves you so
Its in his kiss
(Thats where it is)
Oh, its in his kiss, thats where it is’
A woman does not feel anything for a man unless she is french kissed, tongues going around and doing stuff.
Women love to kiss and do not see it like they are having sex with a man. As a result they can kiss on the first date and kiss loads of times on the second date and it has nothing to do with oral sex or sleeping with a man.
The man will get bored and want to take it to the next level. The girl will want to kiss on and on and on, they will not get bored. For the girl it is romantic and part of the man loving them.
A good kiss:
•Is gentle so they know you love them
•Stong enough with you and how you do it that they get your masculinity, otherwise there is nothing for them as a feminine lady to be attracted to.
•Movement otherwise it is dead and there is nothing going on. Slow movement to so it is pleasurable, but can do fast a bit on occasion to keep it interesting. A kiss where you press your lips against their’s for 10 seconds does nothing, there needs to be movement.
•Variety: lots of different things otherwise it is boring. Your tongue touches and moves around and along, different parts of their tongue. For example touching end of your tongue with the end of theirs. The side of your tongue with theirs.
Needs to be done with the passion that you love the lady and really want her.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment February 1, 2014 3 MinutesPsychological progress and being saneTo become sane and psychologically develop, a person needs to be able to change their views.
Change is hard.
That is why most people only change when the pain caused by their old way is so great it is truly unbearable or the situation will result in their death.
They also need to be able to face the bad points, or dark parts of their psyche. The rubbish, excrement and nasty bits of a person’s psyche are far more painful than physical pain of blood, guts and injury.
This is because the psychological world is so much bigger, greater and more potent than the physical world.
Also it is humiliating and injurous to a person’s pride to face their bad points, what they are wrong about and they have done wrong.
However these things are needed to be able to psychology progress and improve.
The older a person gets the more a person’s ego becomes more locked and fixed, so it is harder for them to change. On a person’ s twenties it is quite easy, forties is harder and most people cannot do it in their seventies and especially in their eighties. This is unless change has been part of their way throughout their life, so their life is about change.
A person whose ego is too set and fixed so cannot change, they will have a hard time growing. They are already dead and thei funeral a mere detail.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment February 1, 2014 1 MinuteBusiness lessonsThings I learned from other people
Philip Green
Have to have a unique selling point, or point of view to succeed. That is what is hard work, 24 hours per day, working it out all the time.
Need to work 15-16 hours per day, need to be prepared to sacrifice, give things up.
Should never have to sue anyone, need to make sure that at all times the deal is mutually advantageous for both parties, so no one ever wants to sue. It is not worth the cost and time of going to court.
Alisher Usimov
No genius can retain a level of genius if they do not admit to their mistakes. It is only when a person or organisation can admit to their mistakes, that they can get rid of them. Harder to admit to mistakes, the older a person becomes.
Men who creates winners, have to be winners themselves.
ready8 Business Leave a comment January 28, 2014 1 MinuteA man having long term relationships with a womanGetting to know the lady as a person
Men when checking out a lady may just look at her breasts and other physical sexual attributes.
However for a relationship to work they have to like them as a person, a friend and companion.
A man wanting to sleep with a lady has nothing to do with if they are compatible for going through life together as assets to each other.
So the man have to look at women as a person, get to know her as a person, see if he finds her interesting as a person and likes her.
This is also as man will only fall in love when he has an emotional connection with a woman.
Without that he will get bored of the woman he is with, or just see another attractive woman and go for her.
Being open
Need to be open to be able fall in love, cannot be closed off.
To fall in love, need the heart, heart shakra to be open, to fall in love.
Need to be open so the lady can get to know the man and who he is. Then for example a man can tell her personal things about himself, his loves, passions, things he wants etc.
Without this cannot experience a lady and fall in love with her.
Giving emotional support
Women want their man to give them emotional support.
When they have a problen they want the man to say they understand how hard it is, sypathise, say how great what they are doing is, be on their side.
Not tell them how to do it, how to solve the problem, unless they ask them for it.
This is because:
●Men are about doing, so tell the lady what should do. A woman may not at that time want that.
●In telling them how to do it, it will in some degree be different from what they are doing and so telling them that they are wrong, be a change, or the woman just wants to do it how they want to do it.
Often the lady just wants the man to listen to their problems, the woman knows it will not solve the problems , but it will make them feel better.
Entertaining the lady
Women want men who are charming, entertaining, and makes them laugh.
They do not want to be with a boring man.
Women want a man that will constantly entertain them, it is something the man provides to the woman.
Need to make sure that the lady is continually entertained. If she is bored with her man, she will dump him.
This is not just about variety in sex life. It is also about going to different places on holiday, different adventurous places, activities, restaurants and all the different kinds of things that she wants to do.
Just because she wanted to do something at one time, does not mean she wants to do the same thing again.
One lady said to me that women themselves don’t even know what they will want to do, it just changes. It is because of women’s hormones and also women work off feelings more than men. Men are more thinking, women are more feeling.
Giving them time attention and intimacy
Most women would like to spend all their time with their man, all of it.
They want a lot of attention and a lot of intimacy.
Things start to go wrong if you ignore them and don’t give them time, attention, affection and intimacy.
They want you to spend a lot of time listening to what they have to say and being emotionally supportive.
For example, when you come in from work, the first thing you do is go and see her, spend time with her and give her attention.
ready8 Relationships Leave a comment January 15, 2014 3 MinutesConsciousnessConsciousness
Consciousness can give a still and silent central axis upon which a person can ascend to the higher worlds.
With consciousness, a person can see the worlds as just a passing show.
Many people go on the side pillars of science (information), revelation, philosophy, religion. The central pillar or middle way of consciousness means a person is getting direct experience.
(Learned from Z’ev Ben Shimon Halevi)
People who are successful with being aware are awake. Most people are just sleep through life.
Open mind
To experience new things with consciousness, a person has to have an open mind, receptive to new ideas, different ideas and the ideas of others. So not blocked off by prejudice, or thinking that other ways are nonsense, so that can experience them.
Judging and mocking things gets in the way of a person seeing.
This is about not being bigoted and small minded, of course a person still has to discriminate between good and evil, so to not put themselves and others in cataclysmically bad and dangerous situations.
Looking
Many people are astounded by how certain people know so much about the world and presume it is because of their great intellect. These people normally are aware of so much as they just look, watch, observe! It is very simple as most very effective things are.
Things that make it hard to look and be aware of things
Change: people’s thoughts, people’s feelings, societies, groups and everything below God changes. Once a person has seen something, it then becomes a thing of remembering it and it becomes history, it is not the now. It is hard to be aware of change, but it is necessary to be aware of things.
Being awake: most people go through life asleep, they do not look and see. People just travel to work, travel back and are not genuinely aware, awake and paying attention. Being awake uses up energy so times for rest are also important
Waking up the higher parts of oneself: a person has physical, psychological, spiritual and divine levels. A person has to be awake and working well on a spiritual level, to be able to see the spiritual level. It is the same with the other levels too.
Seeing that are wrong: when seeing things a person can see that they are wrong, or on the wrong about something. It takes great courage to do this. It also means a person.
Facing oneself
When a person is becoming aware, they are facing themselves. This is the hardest and most painful thing to do. Facing the pain, blood and guts of the physical body are nothing compare to facing the shit, pain and unpleasantness in the psyche.
The ego
A person may think they are being aware of everything, but it is actually just their ego. It is just looking at I, me and mine. My view of the world, what I think my world is, etc.
As a result, they do not see the world, just their own ego.
To counter act this, as a person focuses on the needs and welfare of other people. Doing what God wants. It is not about their own desires and wants, it is about what God wants.
So they see what is not, I, me, mine. The ego is obsessed with itself, will try and trick person and do everything it can just for the person to stay trapped in the ego world.
A person needs to look at the whole world which is one and not just themselves.
Even of a person’ s psyche, the ego is only it’s part of it. So by a person just focusing on their ego, they are only aware of a small part of their psyche, not their emotions, deeper thoughts, spirit, divine aspect and so on.
Selfishness
A person may just focus on themselves and so only aware of the ego. This is because they are only interested in themselves and their own problems.
As they are just looking at themselves, they are not aware of the world, just the ego. They are stuck in themselves so cannot see the world around them.
They look at their selfish wants and desires so do not see anything else.
On a general level this could just be them focusing on getting money, power, respect and so on. As a result they do not see the whole world, because the whole world is one and is about the whole, not just them getting things.
If a person cares about others; then they will see others. However selfish people do not truly see others as they are of no interest to them.
Here and now
To be aware of what is really going on and not just pondering things a person needs to be aware of the here and now.
There are many different moments of the now.
Physical=this millisecond
Psychological=this lifetime
Spiritual=fete over many lifetimes
Divine=the time of the whole universe
God=the entire time span of this universe is but a fleeting moment in the mind of the Lord.
A person becomes aware of these levels of now, until gets to God.
To be aware of God need to be aware of now as God is in the now.
A person may be distracted from the here and now.
Future: dreaming of the great things thst may happen, or worrying about them.
Past: nostalgic about what happened in the past, this may be because they are recalling their youth, or simply that the past is known to them and not unknown, unpredictable and change.
Other places: this is to have a fantasy of what is going on elsewhere, or to escape the harsh reality of what may be happening now.
Only for now it is what is really happening by focusing on that now won’t be aware of all the levels of now.
However anything that is not now, is simply conjecture, wondering, deliberating, worrying, hoping and not what is really going on.
Everything is one
When a person is aware that everything is one, the person is aware that they can be conscious of everything. This is because they are it, as much as it is them, so can be aware of things as much as they are aware of themselves.
Perspective
A spiritual person looks at the whole panorama of space and time. When being with a genuinely spiritual person, there is a feeling that they can see through you. They are on that transpersonal level that they know all is one.
Spirituality
Need to be conscious of being conscious. This goes up to the higher levels. It is something that animals tend not to do as they are just concerned with where there next dinner is coming from and so on.
Being aware of the unexpected
People often only look at and for the expected. The do not notice, see and ignore the unexpected.
There are great things going on in peoples’ psyches and inner worlds, but they do not see or notice them as they are not the usual things that they expect.
An examples of this in the physical world, is when native American Indians did not see Columbus’s ship arriving, even though it was huge. This was purely because they did not expect to see a ship as they have never seen one before.
This is to do with wanting the habit of what they already know and so expect. People are only looking at what they already know and is in their routine, not for new unknown things. Also they do not like the change of something new, because of the uncertainty, death of old ideas etc that this causes.
So need to be able to be aware of the unexpected. Then will see and experience genuinely new things.
A good thing is to meditate on being aware of the unexpected. Things being there that you do not expect.
The unknown
People only like to look at what they know, not the unknown. This means they actually learn and experience nothing new. They also do not find out when they are wrong.
So need to meditate and look at the unknown.
The unknown is scary, because it could be benevolent or malevolent. So need to look first, examine and so on before leap. However can only know what a new thing is really like, once actually experienced, which is also what makes it so scary.
A person needs to be brave, but of course not foolhardy., or stupid.
Blocking
We block things out in order to be able to cope. If we saw them it would be too much for us and we could not deal with it.
For example blocking out having past lives, as cannot cope with the enormity of it all, all the bad things that have done in past lives, happened to us and their consequences etc.
We may block up high levels and higher things so as not to see them because we cannot cope.
So need to look at and for these blocks and I only remove them when will be able to cope with it.
Being worthy
Higher levels and knowledge have great power and can affect a great many things.
There are also many good and deserving beings and things on these higher Levels, so they also deserve to be treated well and cared for.
As a result a person can only see and experience what these things if they will do good and the right thing with them. As a result they have to be deserving and worthy. Until then, these things will be off limits, unseen and inaccessible by them.
As a person becomes more good and moral, they deserve more and so become more aware of these higher and greater things.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment January 5, 2014 7 MinutesHow to have a good marriage that will lastPicking the right partner
Looking at a potential partner as a person, not just sex
When looking for a wife they need to be kind, clever and pretty in that priority order. That is the secret to a marriage that will last a lifetime.
Needs to be someone that genuinely cares about you and is nice to you.
For a man it needs to be a lady that really genuinly does want to look after the man.
It is very easy to men to be ruled by sexual attraction, so to go for someone who is pretty as a first priority. However having a life together is about a relationship that encompasses all of life, buying a home, caring for people when they are sick, children and all of the decisions. So a man needs to get on with his wife like a friend and a valued companion. That is why the first priority is that a man’s wife needs to be kind.
A man can just want to go for the beautiful girl to fall in love with, like diving off a cliff. Need to look at the lady as a person separate from the sexual attraction. Need to look under the surface, what are they really like as a person.
Be okay with being single
A person has to be able to spend time by themselves to find out what they are like as a person and what they are like.
Also if a person cannot cope with being single and being alone, they will pick one of the first people they meet. However they should go on many dates with many people and not just go with one of the first people, as they cannot cope with being single.
Values
Needs to be that you have the same values, so that when make decisions they are the same ones and there is no conflict. For example these may be decisions about:
whether to honest, or dishonest
pay your taxes or not pay them
be polite or be pushy to get ahead
the children’s schooling
healthcare
types of holidays, activities and what to do
where to live
and so on
This is especially as the two people will be living a life together.
The lady really wants you
The man must not lead with his money, status, saying wants to have children etc.
Of course a degree of it is needed for the woman to find the man attractive, but more than a certain amount means that if the man leads with it, the woman probably wants him just for these things and not to have the man himself.
The man should be able to tell if the lady just wants him for these things.
It is very easy in the man’s eagerness for sex or to pull the woman to use these things as his primary bait for attracting the woman. The man finds out what the women wants and offers these things. However with modern divorce laws, the woman can get these things, divorce him and take these things from him to get them, but without him.
So the man needs to be careful that the woman really wants him for just him. He needs to have one the lady over with charm, romance, chivalry and his personality.
Normally split second comments, movements, expressions or gestures done by the lady will in time give the lady’s true intentions away. Intuition and feelings also mean that a man should be able to tell. However the hormones of ‘falling in love’ can cloud a lot of his judgement.
The man may even have to do tests like pretending has lost a lot of money, not wanting to have children, might be loosing his job and not able to get another one etc to be sure.
A man needs to insure that finds a lady who genuinely likes them and wants to take care of them. And lady who is a giving person and not just a taker.
The right person
When dating, the kind of conversation will determine the kind of lady the man gets. If you talk about superficial stuff, he will attract a superficial woman.
The lady also needs to be of a calibre and have interests that will keep him interested and engaged. If for example the man is a university professor, he needs to make sure he goes out with a lady who is of that type and as close as possible to himself. A waitress party girl maybe attractive and fun at first, but building a life together and lack of proper interesting conversation etc. means it will not last.
People do not change
People very rarely change, it takes lifetime, after lifetime after lifetime for people to change even a bit.
Please do not assume that a marriage, relationship, having children etc. will change the person.
Definitely do not go into a relationship to rescue somebody. Can rescue somebody outside a relationship, but then not be dragged down down by having a relationship with them, where they then have power over you and can wreck your life.
Once married
How to treat your partner
A wife needs to realise that if they are going to scream and shout at the man, they will blow out the light of love. This is because the man will associate their wife with being abused and have to put up a barrier to protect themselves from their wife. This of course means that love cannot flow.
People often think that once they are married it gets easier and they do not have to put in so much work anymore. Actually it gets more difficult and one has to put in more work to keep it alive, or the marriage will come to an end.
Marriage is hard, never take each other for granted, keep expressing that you love each other, buying presents and so on.
Even when having problems in life with money, work, dishwasher breaking down etc. Still need to spend time and energy doing fun things, giving thoughtful things to each other. Need to still show the lady how much you love her, be romantic etc.
A relationship is also ever changing, moving on and developing, is not just something that is created and stays the same.
Need to be careful is not just sexual attraction, need make sure you get on as friends. The sexual attraction can blind a person from judging if the other person is nice as a person and someone they actually get on with as a friend. You need to feel comfortable and happy with each other.
Great sex is also of course important.
Needs to be someone you have things in common with.
Need to listen to the lady, she may say that the man is not doing enough and she may (or may not) be right.
Care
Ultimately it only works if each person cares about the other and this is not just a sex thing.
They also have to value a partnership to go through life with and companionship and this is also not just a sex thing.
Compromise is also important, but as in all things, there are good and bad compromises.
The man puts the lady first
It is very easy for a man to stop putting the lady first. He may start putting work trips, social and other things before seeing her. Maybe even meaning they organise things such as when and where to do things. The lady will see this as not putting her first and will end a marriage.
So once married need to ensure still spending loads of time with your wife, or are being a bad husband.
Kindness
This section is what I learned from ‘Science says lasting relationships come down to 2 basic traits’.
The Atlantic, Emily Esfahani Smith, The Atlantic. It was also in Business Insider Magazine.
Interest in and support with in the other, who they are, what they do etc. Have to fulfil partner’s need for this.
Helps get trust and intimacy, which makes them more emotionally and so physically comfortable.
Otherwise deteriorates into fear of the other person and so aggression.
Much of it comes down to the spirit couples bring to the relationship. Do they bring kindness and generosity; or contempt, criticism, and hostility?
Must scan the partner for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. So building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully.
Must scan the partner for what the partner is doing right, respecting them and expressing appreciation.
People need to make their partner feel worth a lot, visible and valued.
Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together. Kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved.
There’s a great deal of evidence showing the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship.
In some people, the kindness ‘muscle’ is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. A person has to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.
Need to be kind even when you are tired, stressed, or distracted, life is hard. Also even if in a fight with your partner.
If angry, say to partner why you are angry, because of what has happened to you, so they understand why you are angry, not just attack them.
A bad sign is if a couple cannot be happy together, shared joy, when one of them has a success. When one person says their good news, the other should stop what is doing and engage wholeheartedly with them, congratulating them and asking more about it.
Neglect creates distance between partners and breeds resentment in the one who is being ignored.
Tolerance
Need to be tolerant that you and your partner can be very different people, with different values, ideas, characteristics, natures etc.
This is fine as what matters are things that are important, examples are that they are loyal, will look after you etc.
Chasing and wooing the lady
The worst thing that a man can do is take the woman for granted, this can easily happen as the relationship goes on and on.
The man thinks he has her now and how does not have to put any effort and she will just stay around anyway. This can especially happened once married a think now have the person.
However the fairy tale for a girl is the man who loves the girl so much that will do anything for her, give her gifts and will do anything for her to be happy. The man loves her so much he is continually working out what new things and different he can do for her and does them. So the man man must do this everyday, otherwise for the girl it the feelings for him dies. Then the girl gets resentful at what a useless man she has.
Peace
Some people stop having a relationship with someone because they get bored.
However what about being at peace with someone?
They are actually stopping the relationship because they miss the adrenaline rush and excitement of chasing the person.
Stopping a relationship for this reason is self sabotage.
Keep it going
When you first meet there’s the loving connection.
Then it starts to get hard as you don’t have the same sexual interest in each other that you did when things were new, you can start to get bored with each other. Life can be difficult and you can get annoyed by things which can affect the relationship.
You have to make sure you don’t lose your temper and succumb to these things
So you keep being affectionate with your partner and appreciating them. Without this it will fall apart.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment December 24, 2013 8 MinutesFeeling insecure around peoplePeter O’Toole said on the threatre “Acting is just being a man. Being human. Not forcing it. Some make it their entire life. Big mistake. Laurence Olivier fell into that category. He was a tiny, strange, vain f—er.”
I take that to mean that around people one must just be a man (or a lady if you are a lady), be human and not force it.
People who make their careers their entire life do it as they are small, strange and vein people.
That could also be interpreted as ‘be true to yourself and do not force it’
People who are insecure often put on an act, joke excessively and all kinds of things. They do this to cover up and divert away from what they really are and cover up their insecurity.
The insecurity is that they are not good enough and people will not like, respect and want the real them. The answer is to become a more ethical, better, kinder and more capable person.
They are often also superficial because they cannot face their selfishness, the answer is to become less selfish.
You need to be fine with people looking at you. Let’s say you’re in the line getting coffee at a coffee shop, you have a right to be there, you have a right to take the time needed to put the milk in your coffee. You have a right to take the time needed to do things, turn to anyone push you.
You must be fine with people looking at you going down the street and so on, even let’s say if you are on stage with hundreds of people looking you.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment December 16, 2013 1 MinuteConfidenceHow it works
If when dating a person is confident that they look good, then other people will think so too and want to go out with them.
If a person is socialising and that person is confident they are a great person to know then other people will think so too (so they believe that everyone wants to get to know them, thinks they are a great person to know. As people are sheep they think that if everyone else wants to know them then they must be a great person to know)
If a person is selling a product and is confident it is good, then other people will think it is good as well and will buy it.
If you are confident that you are rich then other people will think that you are rich too.
If a person is dating and is confident that they are appealing and good looking, then other people will too and they will do well dating. If for example a person has a lack of confidence with a certain feature about themselves, other people will have a problem with it too and it will draw attention to it.
This works because:
everything and all people are one, connected and together. So if you think something then others will too. Be careful not to abuse this!
if you believe it then you will act like it is so and other people will believe it. It will actually change how you act and behave.
Arrogance
Confidence is about a person knowing that they can do something, it is positive and about creating things.
Arrogance is about thinking about oneself relative to others, it is a selfish thing of thinking that one is better than others.
Ultimately a good person has confidence in others. A good person wants to help others by having confidence in them which helps the other person do well and and achieve things. So a good person looks up to others and thinks that they are great.
It is fine to be confident that you are great, but do not go down a dark selfish path of thinking you are better than others, think that others are rubbish or put other people down.
People will like you if you have confidence in them, look up to them and think they are great. People will hate you if you look down on them and think they are rubbish.
The dark side
Also be careful not to go into a fantasy world and loose contact with reality. The best thing is to be successful and these real successes will feed your confidence. If you are a failure this will destroy your confidence.
Success if done for oneself can also lead to arrogance or complacency, thinking that one is God’s gift to a organisation or whatever the person has been working with. Things are created, eminated and formed by God. If we do what is right then God makes it work. A person must never egotistically think that the success was all down to them.
The best way to be successful is to be good and not evil. Good deeds lead to greater success as they are deserved, as the deeds are all for God and for others. Service of God and so others also creates the rught perspective.
Good karma and doing good
You also need to be confident about others as this will have a good effect on them and they will really like it.
Having confidence in others also enables them to be great and do things they could not otherwise do. It creates goodwill which helps them to be constructive and brilliant.
By being confident in others, you will get the good karma of being confident in yourself.
Know who you are
Are person can be insecure and not confident because they do not know who they are.
Every person is created by God for a reason and has a place and purpose in the universe. Once a person knows who and what they are, then they can be confident because they know they
should be there and are valid.
Succeding
Confidence is essential in everything about person does. A person would not bother to do something, if they did not think there was a decent chance of succeeding.
People who are not confident in something are often not able to do something properly, as confidence is intrinsically needed for doing something.
For example if someone is not confident in how they present themselves, they will not present themselves well and it will show.
Signs a person does not have confidence
They need the approval of others attention from others. Ironically this makes a person more dependent on others and needy. So they are less interesting to others, less respectable and so they also get less respect and attention. A confident person does not mind if people do people do not notice, respect and agree with them.
They cannot accept criticism, even when it is true and the benevolently given.
They need status symbols
They cannot cope when someone else tries to take their girlfriend, a confident person would believe that she would rather be with them. For the same reason they cannot even cope if a girlfriend is hanging out and chatting with other people in case she goes off with someone else.
Doing things which are not right to get the approval and acceptance of others, like letting other people rip them off or take advantage of them.
Do unwarranted things to get the approval of bad people. This may mean doing things which are not necessary or are unjustified. For example saying sorry when have done nothing wrong, making themselves look stupid in front of others.
Blame other people when they themselves have got something wrong. They also cannot take the blame when they have done something wrong.
All these things to make the man less interesting, impressive and nice to be with.
When with other people and you get things wrong
In real life when gets things wrong, should apologise to others if it affects them. Be truthful and honest and pay for mistakes, otherwise will pay for them later.
However as a performer need people to think that material is good. Of course the best way to do it is to have good material and therefore be good. So will naturally build up confidence on the back of this reality.
For a performance, confidence is essential. Investors often do not understand the product they investing in, just base it on the confidence and certainty of the founders pitching to them.
The same can be so many other things such as music or comedy performances. The audience think that person is confident in their material, so it must be good.
However if the audience does not respond to the material and the performer panics, the audience will then panic and feel insecure as well. The audience is not able to enjoy it as they feel the nervousness and panic as well. Also the audience believes it is rubbish, as has had it confirmed to them by the performer.
The natural reaction is for the performer to get nervous, panic and speak faster etc. So the performer must learn as a reaction to become completely calm and relaxed.
They speak even slower than before, etc. Deep slow breathing is also good as the body effects the psyche, as everything in the universe is one.
Done correctly, the audience will think that the material must be good and they just do not understand it, because the performer is so calm and relaxed about it. So the performer is so calm and confident about it, that it must be good.
Speaking slowly and not rushing
For comedians, if a joke is going badly then it can be tempting for them to speed up to get to the punchline.
It’s best to slow down in those situations, so the audience see that you’re confident. The audience think it must be good because you’re confident in it and so they think it’s good as well.
Speaking slowly shows you have confidence, you have the time to do things and don’t need to rush them.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment December 7, 2013 5 MinutesPsychicThe first thing is to establish a target.
It could be to become aware of the people who died and are still hanging around from after battle on a battlefield.
However you may see things you do not like, or more than you can cope with. So make sure you can then focus in a different direction, frequency or just turn it off.
The main thing is to practice.
It is also very easy to think you are focusing on others and other levels, but the the ego means we are actually focusing on ourselves.
A sign we are actually focusing on our ego / ourselves is that things are more dramatic, excessive and over the top. This can also happens because the ego can think it is everything, the entire universe, when of course it is not.
Being aware of the psychic and spiritual levels need a person to be aware of a level more subtle than a feather gently touching an eyelash.
Being aware of others from the effects they have on you
Everything is one.
Become aware of the impressions, effects, that other peoples’ feelings, emotions, thoughts etc. are having on you. Just like ripples across a pond from a stone having been thrown in, that move other places and things in the pond. Other other peoples’ feelings, emotions, thoughts etc. will come over to you.
This means that a person has to be very aware of themselves, so can be aware of the effects that others are having on them.
For example, only once are aware of your own thoughts, can a person then be aware of others people’s thoughts in them.
Everything is one, so if another person gets angry, you will get angry too and will be able to feel their anger.
So to be aware of someone elses feelings, look at your feelings to be aware of yours.
So to be aware of someone elses emotions, look at your emotions to see theirs.
So to be aware of someone elses thoughts, look at your thoughts to see theirs.
Physic travelling
By thinking of something you are there, whatever time or space that may be. This is because the psyche and spirit are on a higher level than the physical, they are different worlds.
Consciousness can travel and go anywhere.
On that level a person can be with different people, places, forces, beings, concepts and worlds throughout the universe and spiritual levels.
First imagine it, then you are there.
Make sure you do not abuse this, the penalties for abusing it are great and this power will also be taken away from you.
Also make sure that at any time during your travelling, you can get back to yourself. Also that you get back to yourself afterwards, or you may be lost forever.
Also need to ensure that no spirit or psychological being takes your body while you are away, so please do keep an eye on it.
Reasons people may not use their psychic abilities
Facing painful things: When being aware of things, can become aware of and experience painful things. This can be on a physical, psychological, spiritual and divine levels. A person can only tell that they are unpleasant, once they have become aware of it, so this may stop them from wanting to be aware.
To stop being aware of things, simply face or focus your attention on something else.
Not being taken over by other things
External beings who are manevolent can try and take you over. You need to have these self-worth to be able to stand out yourself and make sure you don’t let them.
Demonic possession often comes from when the person doesn’t value themselves enough, so they think why would anybody else.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment December 5, 2013 3 MinutesGetting the best from peopleConnect to people on a human level, connect to their humanity. Everyone has a human nature to them and appealing to their consciousness helps to do this.
A person will do far more for people who have done this with them.
Appreciation
People will perform best for you, when they feel they are appreciated.
If you push them, they will want to push back out of revenge and will want to destroy you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment December 5, 2013 1 MinuteBeing a fatherA son wants
Attention
Affection
Approval
from their father, without these a son cannot bond with his father.
This is especially important so the son can identify with his father, so feel well comfortable and like the concept of masculinity and being masculine.
Getting a connection with your children:
doing with them what they want to do
spending the time with them
listening to what they have to say about what interests them
Then when they are adults and you are older, they will want to be with you.
Important to do when younger and especially pre teens, once a teenager they will want to be with their friends and not you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment October 15, 2013 1 MinuteHow to appear classyIn definition times this just means someone has high status in society.
However a person can have achieved power and money, but still be viewed as a not classy person because of have a look and behave. This means they are looked down on by classy people, who also do not want to be with them.
Classy people have things and behave in a benevolent way.
Softness, refinement and non aggression
No sharp movements, in fact as few movements at all. Even when walking there is no swagger, as as smooth and as little movement as possible outside just walking. Sharp and large movements mean aggression and less refinement.
Each movement starts smoothly, ends smoothly, with no jerking inbetween. The start and stop are all completely smooth with no jerks anywhere.
This also makes everything look easy and effortless.
Body movements controlled and organised so not all over the place.
Jokes in movement also make things appear uncontrolled.
Tidyness
All hair combed neetly in place, clothes are new so materials not shaggy and falling apart .
Giving and service
Classy people have a sense of morality, doing the right thing.
Avoid ‘I want’ both in word, deed and feeling. This is a dark selfish hard hole of wanting to suck things in and is not classy.
Doing things properly
They speak words fully and do things properly.
Doing things slowly and quietly
As somebody who is high class has everything, they do not need to rush, panic and shout.
Everything can be done nicely, slowly, carefully, properly, quietly and with ease.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment October 4, 2013 1 MinuteWhat women wantWomen are not as driven by looks as men.
Women want:
A man who makes them feel good and beautiful, a lover.
A man loving them, makes them feel good and beautiful. The man does things for them because he loves them, become she is so wonderful.
The king of the jungle. Like the lion is the king of the jungle.
A man who is good in bed.
Behaviour
Girls do not want arrogant men. They want sweet, nice, kind and still masculine.
What women do not want
Freaks: guys who are into wierd stuff in their views and opinions, what they do, sex life and so on.
Nerds: guys who are ugly both in looks and behaviour, without skills such as courage, emotional intelligence, social skills and so on.
Playboys: men who just want to sleep with them, then as have no interest in a relationship will move on to another lady. Women of very wary of this and will do all they can to tell if a man is like this. For example women will make sure the man is really interested in them as a person, wants to spend time with them, does lots of things and so on before letting the man have sex with them.
Of course women want it to be that the man is turned on by them, attracted to them and really wants to have sex with them. However if the woman is not ready and comfortable to have it at that occasion, so early in the relationship, or the man does not also want a relationship with them and to be with them as a person. Then the woman feels cheap and used.
Other things women want
A man who is smart, this is both so they can be a good provider and so that they can stimulate the lady.
A man who is smart so can give them advice and who is right most of the time, but is not arrogant about it.
A man who is totally devoted to them.
A lot of women want a man who will look after them financially and emotionally. As the man is masculine he can be a rock that is fine through all sorts of emotional weather they may be going through. He can listen to them, support them, be there for them and will not get blown over. Whatever happens he will be there to support them, remain stable and okay. Many men think they have to show off, in fact they just have to be a strong, stable and there for the woman. With the man there, they will be okay.
Affection
This basically stems from loving them.
You hold that hands, you look at them like you love them, are gentle with them, have loving feelings towards them and all the things that express and show affection.
To women this is more important than sex, affection is really important.
The dynamics of male and female
Feminine energy is beautiful, wonderful, fantastic, fun, and so on. However it needs the masculine energy to be able to protect it so it can do and be these things.
So a woman will look for a secure man that will give them this security and protection, so they can be the best possible feminine energy.
If during the relationship the man doesn’t give them the security, such as being, a pushover, temperamental, unreliable, feeble, timid, and so on, then they will do not feel secure and they will leave the relationship.
The feminine may even come up against the masculine, try to push it around, test it and even push it around. Here the masculine must provode boundaries, so it can still provide security for the woman.
Of course the masculine needs to protect the woman, so she can be beautiful, wonderful and express her feminine energies.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment October 1, 2013 3 MinutesApproaching womenApproaching women in public places
Men who ‘hunt and fish’ are the ones who get.
If it is a place where men do not approach women such is on the train, bus, pavement, or shopping centre. It is essential that the woman feels safe.
It is what you do, how you say things, which is more important than the words you say.
Your opening line must not be about or relate to anything personal to them, or about anything they own. If you go up to them and say anything about a personal possession they have such as an electronic item, or their handbag, they will run away for fear you will want to steal it. This may sound obsessive, but even a mention of a personal possession, leads to an area that leads to this subject matter where there is this fear.
Even a joke that you are not a stalker or something, no matter how silly will trigger a fear as it is even being mentioned as a thought or possibility. So never go anywhere near such a thing, or even joking about it.
How to start
What you do is the most important, more than what you say. It is also how you say it, more than the words themselves This shows what you are and how you are.
Can start just by looking at the woman giving her love, she will see that you love her, think she is beautiful and if you have the right feelings then she will pick that up as well. You are giving her love.
She will notice you and from this, she may be interested and even look back.
If it is a public place and you are a stranger, she may not look back at you and express her interest. Then you may have to start talking to her for a while she she discoverers that you are not a weirdo and are okay.
Give not take, serve the lady
You give love, showing through body language, feelings and emotions, how much you love her. You really have to have and generate those feelings, cannot fake it.
To do this the man has to serve the woman, without thinking of what is going to get back.
If the man is thinking about what he will get back, such as if the woman will like him or anything selfish, then the free flow of love does not happen. For example if the man is not wanting complments back, or the lady to have to communicate how great he is.
If the man is worrying about what he gets back it is the same.
If this happens, the man is wanting something from the lady, which is not so interesting or nice for the lady.
It can also lead to an existance, feel, or look of forcefulness from the man that he wants something back which is also not nice for the lady.
Focus on the giving, not the reward.
It must be the man is giving and the lady to give back only if she wants to, but not because the man has asked for it.
The man needs to be focused on serving the lady and what she gets. He does this because he loves her and cares about her.
It must be okay for the lady if the man loves her and lady does not love man back, she is not forced into anything. The lady has received the compliment that she is lovely, wonderful, beautiful, that the man really likes her and will like that.
There is no threat as the man does not want anything, the lady is just receiving.
Of course it is open for the lady to give back if she wants to and of course the man would like that.
A lady will always like a man who says she is lovely, beautiful and communicates this with feelings and truth, for a lady it is the ultimate compliment. Ladies love compliments about how beautiful and lovely they are.
If it is just words saying this, but the man is actually just take the lady can tell this. To do this it needs to be that the man has a good soul, heart and is genuinely sincere.
The man is giving love
The man who cannot feel, angry or negative anything like that. The lady will then get those negative emotions, even if the man is trying to cover it up. She will respond badly to the man as she will become angry and negative conceiving energies, also she not be nice back out of revenge for her having been received those nasty energies.
If the man is happy, full of love and giving love, the lady will herself become full of love, be happy and also cannot help like a man for giving her those energies.
If the man has negative energies and tries to cover it up by smiling, it will not matter. It is what is really happening underneath that matters.
Immediate love
It must be the man thinks she is beautiful, wonderful, amazing, fantastic as soon as he sees her.
The man is overwhelmed by how wonderful and amazing she is. The man is not distracted by, or thinking about anything else.
It must be not be that when he first sees her, does not really notice her, think she is amazing or looks elsewhere. The lady wants to think that he really loves her and this must not be tarnished. This is because in nature the woman needs the man to love her so he will hunt, fight and protect for her. If this is not perfect then he will not do that and she will feel insecure. A look that is less than being in awe of her, will be seen by her as a moment of doubt not love from the man, or disinterest and make her less interested in the man.
The man has to be in awe and amazement of her and cannot have moments which take away from that.
So it is from how the man feels, looks at her, facial and bodily expressions, tones of voice and so so that he really loves her.
Consent
This is a huge deal to a lady. Women want a man that wants to make love to them, pushes them up against the wall and kisses them, because he wants them so much.
However consent is a woman’s biggest power, the ability to say and express no.
Never go anywhere near even close to not letting a woman have consented to say no and always give her the consent for you to do, or not do things.
Always have it when going up to women and in all stages of your relationship, that the woman chooses if she gives her consent and so you only do things with her consent.
This is both because for women this is their power and they enjoy that. Also women have it as their own self defence.
Doing things without consent is rape and women go so far away from this line with good reason. Women are very cautious because of the history and vulnerability men raping women so much. It is important in a relationship to always have it there, he only does it uf she gives her consent, or it will never happen!
Valuing the lady
Women do not want to feel like the man is just hunting, like the man and woman are just animals, flesh and the man is just marking out their territory.
A woman wants to be valued as a beautiful being and have a man who loves them and makes love to them.
Persistence
At the beginning going up to a girl in a public place, she naturally and justifiably will be suspicious of a stranger.
Need to deliver your lines with confidence and see it through without giving up. So eventually get to a point where they see you are not just some creepy guy, but are okay.
Safety
The primary reason why men do not often go up to women in public and women may not like it. Is because of safety.
The girl rejecting or repulsing the man because they do not feel safe, as the man is a stranger.
It is important for men to remember, that when women go in tonight clubs, they are often groped, touched and so on with men put their hands on them. This makes women especially cautious and concerned.
At all points, the man should always make sure the women feels she has a route to go away from you, you are not within reaching distance so cannot touch them. The woman also has an easy escape route to easily get away from the man and go away.
The man should always give them an out of a way of ending the conversation, for example expressing that they understand if they are busy and want to read a book or something.
The man may feel that this will make the woman end the conversation, but because she has a way out, she feels safe, so will be more likely and happy to do it and continue speaking with you, because she has this way of getting out of it.
Woman from a safety point of view, want it that the man is looking to see if they are interested and will leave them alone if they want to be left alone. Women though often expect the man just to know though, even if they do not communicate anything, so the man has to be very aware.
It needs to be the girl speaks with the man, because the man is a good opportunity for her, not because she in any way feels forced to. The man is giving to her, not taking to her.
Then she can stop if she would like to, This is not just moral, but if she has the freedom and it is her choice, she will enjoy and want to talk with you more.
Girls like it when men show how much they like them, are flirtatious and affectionate. This may seem girly and boring to guys, but it is what women want. Women like cuddles, affection, romance, kissing etc., men often do not do this enough as they find this boring and just want sex.
Men may want to have sex here and now, but women often just want to have fun, talk, dance and joke. They just like it that the man wants to be with them all the time. That is why woman want a man with a personality, who is fun and interesting.
When this is done over a long period of time, the girl will relax, want the man and get the girl turned on, so she will and soft and want to have sex with a man.
When the woman wants to have sex with the man, they want it to be that the man cannot resist them, but as women are very emotional, they want it to be only when they want to have sex.
They do not want to have the interference of a man wanting to have sex with them, when they do not want sex. Doing it when they do not want sex will repel them.
However women always like flirtation, affection, love, hugs and kisses.
The compliment
Women want to be beautiful, perceived as beautiful. Women put a huge amount of energy and effort into achieving this, it is very important to them.
If man thinks expreses love towards her, that she is incredibly beautiful.
That in itself is something that will be interesting to the lady.
The man does not even verbally have to say anything, just look at her like she is incredibly beautiful and express love for her.
She will love that.
Women not being seductive to the man
With some women they often may not express that they want a man, but subconsciously they really do. This is because they may expect the man to be interested in them so much, that the man knows what the woman wants. They expect the man to do everything for them and they have to do nothing. They are then of course disappointed and upset when the man has not approached them.
This can be because they are just selfish and feel overly entitled, so did you not do anything.
It can also be because their first male role model of their father, did everything for them and they had to do nothing, so they are replicating that.
That is why the man may find that when they have done nothing, the woman no longer wants to talk with them or is unhappy with them. It is because the man has not done anything.
According to nature, it should be that the man goes up to the woman and chases them. The the women wants this however it is the women that make themselves attractive so the man is attracted to them. Of course if the woman does not want this, the man should go away.
Women who are clever will use body language, be open etc., to show the man that if he comes up to them, he will be successful.
Caring
Women are always being careful and cautious to make sure the man is not a creep.
Men may say that they are a model scout and they could be a model and all that rubbish. They are the look out for tricks that men may use.
So it needs to be that a man wants to spend time with her, for her to see if she is right for him. There are no tricks.
Basically that the man really cares about her and wants to spend time with her and be with her.
Then women over time will test to ensure that the man really does care and wants to be with her.
Motivation
Men out of ego may want to show off to the girl, impress her and so on.
This can lead to him showing off, for example that he has a big car and so on. All this is of no interest to the girl as she probably has no interest in cars, also him showing off is just for him and not for her.
The women is interested in what he does for her and will do for her. She wants a man who listens to her, what she has to say, not a man that talks about himself.
So the man has to be looking at serving and elevating the girl, not just lifting up himself. He only lifts himself up, in order to better able to be great for her.
Be nice and respectful
Women want it that the man is nice to them, he says ‘hi’, asks how they are and treats them nicely.
You talk with them and show your personality.
Doing dodgy weird tricks to approach and talk to them just makes you look dodgy and weird.
The worst thing is ‘cat calling’ where the man just shouts something like saying they’re sexy, whistles at them, or says something in a foul and disrespectful way. That’s just the man selfishly wanting things because he’s horny.
Women want romance, so if you’re going to talk about sex at the start using vulgar words it won’t go down well.
Women want romance, so be romantic, although of course still need to be masculine.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment September 25, 2013 10 MinutesWisdom from meditationsThis is wisdom that has come from my meditations:
From inner teacher:
A person associating themselves with things
Sadness, bad behaviours and other things come from a person associating themselves and being with bad people and groups.
This could be a school they are at, place of work, social group involved with, restaurant eating at, location where live and so on.
The universe is one, a person is affected by what is around and with them. Being around bad things will have a huge effect on a person.
So it is important to be with, working with and associated with good people.
The ego may think it is separate and can resist such things, but that is the ego’s illusion of being separate.
These things can also cause habits and influences that it may take many years to find the cause of, especially if they were part of a person’s education or school when they were younger.
Less evolved beings
Think of the less evolved, timid beings and people.
Do not be so right wing looking down on such beings, be aware of them, love, sympathy and compassion. They do not have the knowledge of people who have been able to advance, teach them.
Over long periods they will evolve and grow.
When at the higher levels
At the higher levels need to be able to look at things, without wanting to grasp and have them.
This means can look at the things in the higher levels and things there, because have the purity to be able to be worthy, and allowed to be there.
The person is then not taking from and dusturbing these higher levels, with the lower level of crudeness and morality they may have.
So are allowed to see the things in the higher levels as not damaging and disturbing them.
This is because are not taking from and muddying these higher levels with the selfish grasping.
When a person is more moral they can take part and be involved, but until that time they can just look, watch and learn.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment September 16, 2013 1 MinuteOpen mindedBeing open minded means to be open to being aware of other people’s views
An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.
A preconceived preference or idea.
The act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgments or convictions.
Irrational suspicion or hatred of a particular group, race, or religion.
Detriment or injury caused to a person by the preconceived, unfavorable conviction of another or others.
To cause (someone) to judge prematurely and irrationally.
Causes of this maybe
The biggest reason is that once a person is open minded they will inevitably have to change. As the person becomes aware of different ways and points of view, they may see ways that are better, or that their way is wrong. Then they will have to change.
It is easy not to ponder and consider other people’s views maybe the opposite of your current views. A person can think they already know the answer and so not look again.
Pride or insecurirty at their own self worth and low self esteem may mean they cannot think that they may be wrong or somebody else knows better.
This could be because of preconceived ideas, things a person has been told, or certain previous experiences which are not in line with most of reality.
Going along with what another person or group says or believes and not thinking or looking for oneself.
Consciousness and awareness is an important for being open minded, because it means a person can see things directly, rather than just what they have been told.
Being able to tolerate, be open to and cope with things that are different to oneself, is another essential part of being able to do this.
Also exposure to things that are different to oneself and one’s own views.
Open mindedness is essential to progress, move on and go upwards in line with the upper and spirit worlds. Otherwise a person is just repeating the old patterns, not adapting, changing and progressing.
God and the higher levels
Being open minded is especially important for being able to be aware of God and higher levels. A person may have different ideas to God on many issues.
The ego sees God and high levels as separate to itself, even though in truth everything comes from God and is one.
So to be able to perceive God and high levels it is essential to be open minded so to be open to and perceive the higher levels. The reasons above can prevent a person from being open minded.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment September 7, 2013 2 MinutesHow to appear intelligentWhen talking to people, they have certain things they can use to judge whether the person they are talking to is clever or stupid.
Speak clearly, enunciate words properly so that the sounds are as clear and easy to hear as possible. Each sound is properly crafted so each part each word comes out with perfect clarity and precision.
Make it seem that you find it easy to get your words out, put sentences together well and express yourself as you are intelligent.
Movements should also be precise, accurate and well crafted . If a person’s hands and other movements are all over the place, they appear stupid. This is because their brain not able to properly control their body.
So big movements and sounds where a person cannot precisely control themselves properly, makes them look stupid.
Wise people listen, stupid people talk a lot. Just by listening to what a person is saying, they presume you understand what they are saying and agree with them. So they think you are clever enough to understand what they are saying, even if you do not. Also as the other person thinks that what they think is correct, if you agree with they say, they also think you’re clever.
Please also look at the section on body language and facial expressions.
Avoid saying stupid things
Other things
By speaking clearly, properly and fully enunciating the words, it is easier for a person to understand what you are saying.
They can hear, understand and process what the person is saying much better and more easily.
This is because they do not need so much mental effort to process what is being told to them. As a result the they can easily accept the information.
Know what is going on and can act appropriately
The world has lots of different and changing things all going on at once.
An intelligent person is aware of all these different and changing things going on.
It can be seen that there intelligent, because they are able to do things about and with all these different things going on
So for example when in a room with loads of different people and situations, they are able to be aware of, act and do things for all the different things going.
Whether it is different facial expressions to all the different people, solutions and contributions to the different things going on etc.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment September 6, 2013 2 MinutesThe selfLevels
A human being has many levels, what a person sees as the self depends on what level they are looking at at that time, or their consciousness is on. The nature of that self, is a give away as to what level the person is on:
The ego: I, me, exclusion or separation from others. Thoughts about how great they alone are. Subject to external circumstances.
The self of a person: who they really are, has a sense of who they really are, true to themselves. The higher nature of that person seen impartially with the universe. Has an inner world and not just buffetted around by external circumstances. At the level of their soul and in touch with heaven.
The divine level: All is one, the person is an infinitely tiny part of that one and joined with that one. There is no I, me or mine, total submission to God.
The aim
At the beginning a person is like a thin torch beam, they can only be aware of one level at a time. As their consciousness improves, their beam becomes wider and wider, so they can be aware of more and more levels at the same time.
The aim is to wake up to higher centres, so they can be aware of the higher levels of the psyche, spirit, divine and god.
Only the higher centres can be aware of the higher centres as they are on the same frequency.
How to do this
The higher centres can communicate through to the ego through images, sounds, smells, touch and so on in the mind. This is the subconscious and other levels communicating with us.
The mind is far less dense than the physical level, hence it is easier for these levels to communicate with us through the mind.
The ego is a mirror that can be pointed anywhere and through the images we see the things. A lower level example is how the body communicates with the mind to tell us that we are hungry.
Using images we can imagine anywhere and see it to our mind. However once we have gone somewhere, it is equally important to make sure we come back to ourselves by looking at ourselves and our body.
It is a bit like a television set, we cannot perceive a television signal directly, so use a television to see what is being broadcast. The subconscious and upper worlds communicate with the conscious mind using words and pictures.
So we can create symbols in our minds to represent things and use them to send and receive messages with the upper worlds and our subconscious.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 30, 2013 2 MinutesHumility and arroganceThe quality or condition of being humble, modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.
Humility is very powerful, if you humble yourself towards someone, they will help you with whatever you ask. It is like you are serving the person you are being humble towards.
If a person talks about themselves and shows off about themselves, people will hate them as it makes other people feel small and ignored.
Someone who is sad, bent over, looking up at the other person, hands open in the begging position, it is very powerful.
People become sympathetic, compassionate and want to help someone who is worthy and in such need.
A person is either:
self serving by saying how wonderful they are and showing off.
serving others, without thinking of, talking and showing off about themselves.
It all comes down to someone serving others, or serving themselves.
The most powerful thing is when somebody gives incredible service, but does not run around saying how wonderful they are.
Be careful of mockery though, that people giving you things because you behave like a clown, like an idiot. It is not about putting yourself down, it is about not showing off.
However be careful of using humility to get things, if someone feels sorry for you, and you are getting sympathy, compassion and they are giving things to you. It does not mean they want to be with you and probably will not want to be with you. Just like how out of charity people will give things to a beggar in the street, but not want to be with.
Arrogance
Although a person should think they are good and capable. A person should not think they are better than others just for their own satisfaction, especially if results in life show that they are not.
People want to win, be the best, so they want to think they are better than others. They think they are better than others, just because they like it and so indulge in that thinking.
This is especially dangerous as it prevents them from learning things from other people who actually are better than them. They think they are better than people who are actually better than them. As a result they do not learn from those other people.
Coping mechanism
Arrogance, showing off, talking about oneself and putting down others, is often a wall used by rubbish people to defend themselves as they cannot cope with not thinking they are better than others.
They are too nervous to let go of this rubbish and just be themselves.
They cannot cope with just being themselves, so they falsely fantasise and pretend they are better than others, to be able to cope.
However this creates a wall between them and other people, which leads to them not being able to communicate through that wall. People can only connect with other people and others respond to them if there is the real person.
Being humble does lead a person to be open to other people, at the mercy of others and many people cannot cope with that.
So need to be humble with God and with good people, but not so much with bad people as need to protect oneself.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 29, 2013 2 MinutesCreativityCreativity needs a person to have break the rules for how people think things should be done.
Most people do not think, or look deeply and things. They just do things the way they have always been done. First need to find out real reason why thing is done that way, once found out why, then can normally find way to do it better.
Never just assume things.
Curiosity, wanting to make things better and solve problems in life and questioning everything are important.
Spiritually
Creativity is a high up spiritual thing, not just getting earthly commonly done stuff. Creating is actually creating something new that was not there or done before. To do this need to care about others, God and focus on creativity and creating.
Most people are not creative as just want things for themselves. So they end up just copying and follow others. This selfishness just ends up in a person taking and just thinking what can get for themselves.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 26, 2013 1 MinuteMeditationBalance
To ascend to the higher worlds, the psyche has to be integrated, balanced and ordered.
When building a tall building, the higher it is going to get, the more it has to have strong foundations and be well balanced, or it will fall over or fall apart.
Awareness
Meditation is to ponder, refect and deliberate something. Basically putting your consciousness on it so you become aware of it.
This means that:
your whole self including the subconscious goes in that direction.
you consciously become aware of it so can do things about it
So for example, meditating on morality results in:
a person’s whole being goes in a more moral direction
one learns about morality
becomes more conscious of it.
Why is hard to meditate
It is hard to meditate as realise:
●The ego is not in control of anything. It all happens on higher, more and greater levels. As a person sees this more and more, the higher levels they go to, and more they become aware of. So they see there as there is a higher, more and more, and a greater world relative to their ego.
A person also becomes aware that everything is impermanent. So everything below the level of God inherantly has the pain of loss and it means facing and experience those pains. Also things are never the same, always changing, as it is perceived it is already changing. Everything comes and goes. So one is constantly being aware of change.
●Part of becoming conscious means becoming aware of more and that means becoming aware of the unknown. One can never really know what something is until it has been done and experienced.
The Ego
To become properly aware a person needs to escape the cage of the ego.
Scarily a person may think that they are in the real world experiencing things, when they are still in the cage of the ego.
For example a person may their that they are looking directly at and experiencing God in their meditation, but actually they are looking at the ego’s idea, image, or belief of what God is.
To be aware of things, have to look at things outside the ego, such as others. The ego has little interest in this as is not itself. The ego is only interested in itself.
The ego wants to be the one in control of everything, instead of it being God and will do lots of tricks to remain in charge.
The ego just thinks and looks at I, me. When a person themselves is one with everything and not a separate I, or me.
People may egotistically talk and tell things to God, but to be aware and learn from the higher worlds a person must watch and listen. Talking to the higher world creates noise that gets in the way of that.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 25, 2013 2 MinutesWorryWorry is often a selfish ego thing where a person is just thinking about their own wants.
A person can worry about others, but then the worry is not so in excess, which is what causes the problems. It also tends to be more constructive.
When a person is thinking about how to do things, then it is not worry. Worry is when a person is thinking about if they will get the result or not. So worry is about thinking about the reward, which is of course the reverse of just getting on with being constructive.
The ego is just thinking about it’s wants.
The ego just does routine, habits, customs, traditions, so nothing new is thought out it is just repeating.
As a result it is just using up energy and not creating or working out anything new.
The answer is to look and ask yourself if ?
these thoughts are constructive and finding a solution, or just worry.
it is something you can change, if it is not then advise yourself to stop worrying about it.
a person has a choice whether they are going to worry about things. A person can choose just not to do so.
How worry makes a person look in front of other people
Worry makes a person looks less able and capable. This is because it if the person is worrying about something, that evidently means they cannot do it, or are not good at it.
By a person focusing on their worries, they are focusing others on things they cannot do, which is like focusing other people on their negative points.
It also makes a person looks weak, people worry about their weak spots and flaws, worrying is higlighing them.
A person can be worried about something and still look generally cool. This is because so much is going well and great in their life, that the worry is just one thing, so in relative terms it is not much and they still look good.
Panic
A good way to not panic is realising that panic does not help. It actually makes it worse.
Don’t worry about things that are inevitable
Don’t don’t worry about things that you can’t change.
Don’t worry about things that are inevitable.
You are eventually going to die, that is inevitable.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 24, 2013 2 MinutesEmotions and feelingsEmotions are higher than feelings.
Emotions last longer, feelings are more transient.
Energy
Emotions are energy like petrol for a car, people who oppress their emotions tend to lack of energy.
When a person gets happy, sad, angry and so on it is energy.
When a person with strong emotions gets angry, other people are scarred of and so very cautious with them.
When there is an argument, it is the person with the strongest emotions that wins. That is their destructive force and power.
When a person with a weak emotion gets angry, no one is worried.
Emotions are senses of the soul
Emotions enable a person to feel if what they are doing is good or bad, right or wrong.
If it is bad, they will feel it is bad and that it is causing bad emotions.
A person who wants to do evil, often oppresses their emotions to help them do this, so they do not feel the hurt, pain, hate, anger, guilt, regret and so on that comes from doing evil.
The world is one
When a person with strong emotions is happy everyone else in the room feels happy.
When a person with strong emotions is angry, everyone else in the room gets angry and does not know why.
Managing emotions
Emotions need to be left to run free, like a river. If they are blocked of oppressed it lead to problems. Even worse if a person denies their importance.
However there are times a person needs to control themselves in times when their emotions are not right for a situation and even gently effect emotions.
For example if a person is angry, it is a good idea not to take decisions until after it has passed, decisions made from wrath end in disaster. Although of course if a person needs to fight, they need anger for the emotion to fuel the fighting.
If a person is angry and goes to a party, their anger will leak onto other people, other people will be annoyed with them and not know why.
To effect your emotions:
imagine you have different emotions
try changing your posture and
try changing your breathing
However before doing any of these, make sure you fully know what the above and your emotions normally are, so you can get back to your who you really are, your natural state. If not the person will be stuck in this unnatural state and not able to get back to who they really are, which of course would be a disaster.
However using these, a person can move their emotions to be happy sad angry and so on.
Ultimately a person needs to let their emotions be well and free. However when needed they need to control their emotions, not their emotions control them.
Relating to people
People can relate to and feel comfortable with people who have the same emotions as them. As a result of these are the people they will have a close connection to and like to be with.
People often dislike other people who have different emotions to themselves, because they are different to them.
Passion
A person can only be successful at something if they are passionate about it. This is like saying a car well when it has petrol in it and it has an engine that can use that petrol.
Passion is when there is a lot of emotion.
However morally it must be a passion to do things for others, not a passion just to have someone for oneself.
Big emotions
When energy comes down from above, it is neutral, not happy, sad, angry and so on.
However the type of person and what they are going through, causes it to becomes one of these emotions.
Emotions are the energy behind what a person is and so socially are a big thing. The more powerful a persons emotions are the more powerful they are. When a person walks into a room or does anything, an ingredient to who is the most powerful person and amazing person is the person with the strongest emotions.
To get strong emotions:
let the emotions flow, nurture them and do not control them so much
meditate, become conscious and ponder them.
a person gets what they need, just like how doing physical work means the body gets more muscles and fitness. Doing things that need more emotions, means a person gets better, more and stronger emotions.
A person gets the emotions and energies that’s a deserve and need. So if the person does a lot in life they will be blessed with lots of energies. If they does evil, they will not be given so much energy.
• Need to be challenged: just like a physical muscle only grows when it is challenged by lifting heavy weights. Emotions grow when they are faced with a challenge that needs strong emotions. Such as managing large amounts of, challenging and difficult people and situations. Arguments, building large physical object. Having to get other people to be peaceful which needs lots of peaceful emotions which will spread, enimate, grow and effect things.
A person cannot cope with more energy than they can handle, so the more energy one gets, the bigger a person’s vessel is to be able to cope with it. So a person’s vessel can grow over time.
It can be seen how a person cannot cope, when they have more emotional energy than they can handle.
The emotions and feelings are a body in themselves which effect the physical body. Signs a person has weak emotions are:
●They slouch, do not stand up straight and do not sit up straight
Why some not have powerful emotions
Emotions can be painful and unpleasant, far more so than physical pain, as the psychological world is so much greater than the physical. This is why many people do not let themselves have them.
People who do immoral things are especially prone to repressing, or not facing their emotions. This is because of the regret, guilt and other painful feelings and emotions that sooner or later come from such actions, which they do not want to face and cope with.
Institutions which ask people to follow orders that might be morally wrong, get people to oppresses, or not look at their emotions. This is so they cannot feel that the orders are wrong and so they will follow them.
Happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin. People happy when get something and sad when lose something. So sadness is going to happen anyway.
People who get incredibly happiness, also get incredible sadness. By going so high up with happiness the rollercoaster has to come down as well. These are the people who end up being manic depressive.
A good way to be is gently happy.
People often use alcohol, sugar, caffeine and other drugs as a way of coping with sadness, it is not just because they want happiness. Sadly though this just puts it off to a later date, when the drug has worn off.
A way to cope with sadness, is to see it as part of the tapestry,.
Another way is to look at the beauty in sadness, which makes it more capable with.
A person basically needs to have courage to be able to cope with emotions and that is why it is so hard to be a real and good actor
Having a heart
The heart on the psychological and spiritual level is where the emotions come from, or to be more precise energy comes down from the higher worlds and becomes emotions.
To have big, good and wonderful emotions which makes a person lovable, need to have a big heart. This means that on an emotional level the person cares about others as much as they care about themselves. So they become, kind, compassionate etc. on an emotional level, so have a big heart.
Caring is an emotional thing, so a way to become more caring can also be worked on, on an emotional and feeling level of sympathy and compassion.
A person with a cold heart, so does not care about others, has no sympathy, compassion and love is not lovable, likeable or easy to be with.
Social and the emotions
Giving a person a compliment or love is an emotional thing, so is about generating these emotions, the emotions and feelings behind it, which are more than just the basic word said. That is another reason my emotions are so important in social skills.
If a person says a compliment to somebody else, but has hate in their heart, it is actually more unpleasant for the recipient.
To be effective at speaking, a person has to have strong emotions and feelings, otherwise there is nothing there and people will not even notice you are speaking.
To be interesting person also needs to talk about situations where there are strong emotions and feelings.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 17, 2013 6 MinutesLearningNeed to be humble so able able to listen and learn from others and not just talk.
It is about learning and looking for people that can teach you new techniques to do it better, not just spending time doing the same old thing.
Never loose sight that the objective, it is to make things better.
One needs to be self critical and have self discipline. It is very hard to face yourself and what you have done wrong.
Always look at the long term, find ways to make things better and improve your skills. Aspire to improve skills.
Things can always be done better, there is always room for improvement.
To learn, need to be able to change as new things, or changes, are different to what was doing before.
When people think they know everything they are wrong, as in truth compared with God and the universe, humans know nothing.
When we think we know, then we block ourselves off from learning.
Learning from experience
Peoples’ experiences dictate their beliefs, but things can happen that are new, different and outside their past experiences. So their past experience may guide them wrongly.
Also new occurrences may cause different results, so if someone relies on their past experience they can be wrong.
An experience may be that someone got away with something a lot of times, such as crossing a road badly, but does not mean they will get away with it every time.
Can either win or learn
When a person succeeds they have not learned anything, they have just done what they can do.
When have failed, is because:
●doing something not done before
●something has happened that not had before
●not done it before
●not know the answer to
So to learn, look for things you cannot do.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 11, 2013 1 MinuteSocial skills (respect)People want love and respect (see article on respect)
To do this need to
look at the persons good points express their good points
lift people up about you
The higher and greater you are the more you can’t lift other people up.
A compliment from a prince means a lot, a compliment from a tramp who has failed in his life means less. So use this status and respectability you have, to lift other people up and make that lifting other people up of other people worth while.
When lifting somebody up it may make you feel less in relative terms, because they are above you. In absolute terms os is not though. However you need to be generous in that way as it is about being a good person, the positive karma will also pay back with you getting more respect from others, from God and more self esteem.
Never put yourself down in order to make other people feel better, people who want you to do this are evil. It is damaging for yourself, as the world is one you are also damage others by doing this.
However be careful not to show off about yourself, you are using your respectability to talk about and lift up others.
Body language
To do this.
When talking about others you express respect towards them
look upwards to look up at them and tilt your head a bit higher like you are looking up to them. This is like you look up to them which is a respect thing.
look at them in the eyes, the white of their eyes, as looking at the black centre is too intense.
Smile
Open your eyes and raise your eyelids
Speak with higher tones when mentioning them
Speak gently
Raise your body up, sit and stand straight
When talking about yourself, to be modest, do not look down but do not look up in the same way. Do not do the above stuff so much, so you are saying that your stuff is okay, but not showing off.
look down more, tilt your head downa bit lower.
do not look at them so much
Do not smile so much
Open your eyes and raise your eyelids so much
Speak with not such high tones when mentioning them (average tones)
Speak normal volume
Not raise your body up so much, sit and stand straight
So when talking about yourself, you express that you are okay when talking about yourself. This is the balance of not putting yourself down, but also not showing off.
Of course though, when you are selling something, you express how great it is using the above.
Inside
A compliment needs to be with love and respect, you need to really feel it.
You are lifting them up, looking up to them.
The more powerful your emotions and spirit are, the greater and more effective the compliment is. The more powerful the love, respect and happiness is of the compliment. There is a greater wave lifting them up.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment August 9, 2013 2 MinutesBody language (dating)To see if the lady likes you.
1st is to look at the person
If she is looking right at you, she is into you. If a person likes someone, they cannot take their eyes off the person.
What is she doing with herself, if she is grooming a lot then she is insecure.
Turning a shoulder at you, as part of turning away to look away from you, means she is ‘giving you the cold shoulder’.
If she is leaning back and you are doing all the work, it means she is not into you. If she likes you, she will be engaged and leaning into you.
Look at her feet, if her toes are pointing into your direction she is into you.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment August 6, 2013 1 MinuteRe incarnationThe physical body is just a vehicle for moving around the physical plane.
The person is the car driver that can move from car to car, not the car itself.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 5, 2013 1 MinuteTruth and liesLies used for evil
Bad people often do not believe there is the truth, they are so in darkness from their selfishness they cannot realise their is the fundamental reality of truth.
This is especially true of people who lie a lot. Their lives are based on the non existance of a lie, so they look, feel and become like unreal people. They become what they are, a lie.
They also loose touch with reality as their lives are more based on lies which are things which are not true, than truth which is real.
They also loose touch with reality, because when a person lies, it is them telling the lie, so they will be affected by it and also come to believe it to one degree or another. For example that is why it is essential not to lie about being ill, because it may happen to a person as it affects their subconscious.
The truth has a subtle authenticity that non greedy people will be able to recognise. A light, real texture and authenticity.
Lies are dark, uneasy, wobbly and scary. Like a wrong note produced by a musical instrument. They create an uncomfortable feeling on a psychic level.
On a fundamental level the truth is real and is what builds up success in reality.
Of course if a bad person wants something from a good person, it is okay for the good person to lie to stop the bad person getting something they would steal or treat badly.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 5, 2013 1 MinuteFantasy, reality and the truthMost people prefer whatever is good news about themselves and bad news about others.
To mock the others they often do not mind if it is not true and to be satisfied with themselves they also often do not mind if it is not true. This is because the desire for such things over rides this.
People may want the thing that is not good for them in the long run, because they want something now. They may not want to think about how it is bad for others, because they think it benefits them.
People do not like the feeling of shame for the bad things they have done, to see the dreadful problems and danger that could be around the corner as a result of their actions, what they have gotten wrong, when they are wrong and that fact they need ro change.
This means people often prefer fantasy over reality and will be hostile to hearing a truth that does not tell them how great they are and how great what they are doing is.
If a person does not want the truth, do not push it to them as they will react to defend themselves from it with great ferocity. They will see it as it an attack on their very nature. When they are in real trouble, they may decide they want to change.
While people want pride and other things, it can override the fact they need to know the reality of the situation.
When a person is wanting to serve god and do what is right, they realise the truth is best. A person doing good then can face themselves and the truth because it is good. A person who is not doing good, cannot face the truth truth and the painful shame of their degraded existence.
As a result, the hardest thing a person can do is face themselves.
Most people are very much in a fantasy world.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 5, 2013 1 MinuteProblem solvingAdmitting that you have a problem means you are halfway to solving it.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment August 3, 2013 1 MinuteSocial skills (people being comfortable with you)People believing you are the same as them
People want to be friendly with people like themselves and not someone who is different. This is a first and primary thing for who people are friendly with!
So a person will be friendly with people who have the same amount of money as them, beliefs, background, class, nationality, religion status, views on life, sex, interest and so on. The more important that factor or interest is to them, the more they will want to be with people that have that same factor.
People naturally feel comfortable with people who are the same as them.
People feel uncomfortable and even hate people who are different to them.
A person may tolerate someone who is different to them, but this is an act of service, compassion and benevolence. It does not mean that they selfishly want to be with that person.
This is regardless of how nice, generous and so on that other person might be. For example, even if someone is a criminal and a bad person, he will only feel comfortable with other criminal and bad people. Even though such people will rip them off and so on.
This even means a nasty person will only feel comfortable around other nasty people and will not want to be friendly with nice people as they will not feel comfortable with them because they are different.
Yes a person maybe around other people who are different to them to be tolerant to them. However that is because they are being nice tolerating the other person’s difference, not because they want to be with them.
How to adapt to people:
1, Only mention the sides of yourself that are the same as the other person, not those that are different.
2, The personality is a mask, the word persona comes from the Greek word for mask and once a person realises this then they can use it to adapt to different people.
The personality/ego is your mask to the world, without it people will not be able to see and relate to you. They will not be able to tell if you are a prince, beggar, professional, working class person, childish, mature, responsible, immature and so on.
However it is only a mask and you need to know that it is not the real actual you, or you will get lost by purely identifying yourself by your personality. The persona is what people use to relate to each other.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment August 3, 2013 2 MinutesFriendsA real friend is there to help you if you have a serious and disturbing problem. Often it is the people you think will not help, that actually do. This is because people can be very charming and part of charm is making huge promises, very charming people often make false promises.
Togetherness
“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” A real friend is with you, two people being together so they are not alone and lonely. This actually does not even need anyone to talk, they just have to be there. It is not one person wanting to have power over the other person.
It is about not being alone.
It’s not about one person wanting to be better than the other person, they’re both together and it isn’t about a hierarchy. One person is not competing to be better than the other.
Making Friends
Friendship is 95% mutual empathy, joint connection in emotional connection, making each other laugh, making each other feel good, support, advice, praise and affection. This empathy can happen when are similar to each other. It Is words, feelings and acts of consideration.
Being together and wanting company. Empathy means want to be with someone.
It is only 5% accountability of doing things for each other, when we really depend on them for our urgent core needs.
How to make friends
People want to be friendly with people who are like themselves. ‘You and me of the same blood’, ‘peas in a pod’ and so on.
So you need to learn how to be just like the person you’re talking to.
Childhood development with making friends
Jordan Peterson says that from a childhood development point of view, parents need to make sure their children know to control themselves so they can do what the other person wants, and not just what they want to do.
They need to learn this between the ages of 2 and 4. They need to be able to control themselves so that they can do what the other person wants and make sure they can have the same frame of reference as the other person they are talking to.
If they can’t do this then they can’t cooperate with others and so they can’t get on with other people in the world.
Life will be very hard for them, because other people won’t interested in them and if they can’t cooperate from the same frame of references other people, other people won’t have an interest in them, as they won’t be of any use to other people.
Be fun
People want to be with other people who are fun, to do this just be fun, the embodiment of fun and energy of fun.
If you just talk about your problems all the time, people don’t want to be loaded with that.
Of course you need to be right for the situation, being fun is for party times. There’s times to be sympathetic, compassionate and so on.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment August 3, 2013 2 MinutesLoveA view of love
A view of love is that, it is when someone puts the needs of someone else before their own.
This is because somebody values somebody else, more than they value themselves.
They care about others, more than they care about themselves.
As a result they will even do things for this other person, as a priority over themselves.
When the other person is happy, they are happy.
When the other person is sad, they are sad.
So the person wants to let the other person have the last cookie in the jar, as they get pleasure, when the other person gets pleasure.
This creates a connection, the person is connected to the other person.
Love is a heart thing, you have to feel it
Things caused by and that are part of love
When talking to somebody else, the person is concerned about the other person and not about themselves, it is all about the other person.
When a person talks to somebody else they love, the other person can see themselves in the eyes of the person who loves them. This is because the loving person is just thinking about the person they love.
People who love each other operate as one.
The dark side of love
This is where somebody loves themselves, but doesn’t love others.
My love having things, but not other people.
They can love a thing that is not for the greater good, then it can do harm to the rest of the world
People can love having things such as if someone loves the taste of chicken, it means that they love the taste of the chicken in their mouth, which results in the chicken is not having a great life.
People can also love things that are not conducive to the greater good such as if someone loves murdering other people, then the love of murder is not conducive to the well being of others.
A person can also value a bad leader and what they stand for, then harm will be done.
As a result, a person is what they love. Which is why it is important to love good things and hate bad things. For example loving morality and hating selfishness.
The best love
The best thing to love is god and god’s morality. God wants what is best for the world and so then a person does what is right for the world.
Please see the section ‘Love (social skills)’ for more information on love.
General
People will come and go in your life, but you will always be with yourself. So a person needs to be able to love themselves.
For a person to be lovable, they have to love others and do good. This is is also so that a person can love themselves.
This is the same for God, God will always be there and a person needs to do good so God can love them.
A person has to be deserving and worthy of love, so that other people and God can love them. Also so that they can love themselves.
Mr Rogers ‘Love is at the root of everything, all learning, relationships. Love or the lack of it.’
Mr Rogers ‘The greatest thing we can do is let someone know they are loved and capable of loving.’
People loving you
You can’t buy love, you can buy dinners and get honors, but does not mean they will truly love you.
You can buy sex, but that is not love.
The way to be loved is to be lovable. So do you things that are nice and people will love you. Just doing things for people is one way of expressing love, you also have to be able to express love emotionally and so on.
It doesn’t mean anything if you do something for somebody, but there’s no love there, or expression of love.
You can give somebody something, or do something for somebody, but if you don’t do it with love and expressing real love, it’s not love.
You need to truly love others. By giving a lot of love to others, they will love you.
There are people who have lots of money, but no one loves them. It is how much people really love you in a way that matters, which is the real success of life.
You have to practice and learn about giving love to others.
We need love
We all need love, to receive love.
We will need to be loved by someone, have friends who love us and so on. It’s important to have a partner who genuinely loves you.
It’s important to have people in your life who love you and to be able to receive love.
A big problem is if a person is unable to receive love, or if love is there, they are unable to receive it.
For example maybe they had a difficult childhood and so their barriers are up, are defensive and always fighting. They don’t realize that they are in a situation where they are loved, there is love there, they should open up to it and receive it.
We’ll need love and to receive love.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment August 1, 2013 3 MinutesHappiness and sadnessHappines from morality
Happiness comes from a clear conscience.
Happiness comes from doing good, sadness comes from having done evil.
God is happy with people when they do good, angry and sad with people, when they do evil. This makes people happy when they do good and not happy when they do evil.
People get what they need when they do good and so have a happy life. They do not when they do bad.
Gaining something by bad means never leads to long term happiness. It always has to be paid for and that includes feelings of guilt.
Comedians are often very sad people, because in the short term they think they can get happiness by putting other people down, so they think in relative terms they are better than others. However they are hurting other people, which in the long run gives them hurt and pain.
It is also because they get laughs as people are laughing at them and this is not nice for them.
Happiness from having things
People are happy when they gain, sad when they loose. So if someone bases their happiness on having things, it is never good in then long run as all physical rewards must pass.
Happiness and sadness are then two sides of the same coin as Kahlil Gibran says in his book ‘The Prophet. So cannot have one without at some time getting the other.
Far better to base your happiness on doing the right thing and a relationship with god.
All physical things give happiness when gained, but as they are impermanent will eventually pass away leading to sadness from loosing them. So in the short term physical things give happiness, in the long time people are no better off for having had them.
However god is permanent, doing good is God’s way, so it is the right thing.
Even emotions and feelings are impermanent, so not as important as God.
Doing good means you get what you need on all levels.
Dis satisfaction means you cannot be satisfied so are not happy. So sadness comes from wanting more than you have, so the more you want to have, the harder it is for you to be satisfied and the less happy you will be.
Wanting things is painful if not have what you want.
Depression
A person may be depressed but by looking at the good things they have done, they can stop being depressed.
Even the humblest person may have worked to support their children, done a good job at work, been kind to someone.
It does not have to be big, just something that has benefited the needs and welfare of others.
Ultimately the world needs to be a better place, for you having been there.
Sadness from wanting things
A person can be sad because they do not have what they want.
So the less the person wants, the easier it is for them to be happy. When a person is released from wanting something they cannot have, so they no longer have a desire for it, they become happy.
This is also because by not wanting it, they are not attached to it, so become free.
Enlightenment which reduces a person’s desire to have material things, will therefore make them happier.
Being depressed from mocking other people
People mock others because they want it to be that
they are better than others.
what they have is better than others.
However by hating others and what other people have, they are surrounded with with things they dislike.
When we look at things we love such as a beautiful woman, object, car, it makes us happy.
However by a person hating things and saying they are rubbish, they are surrounding themselves with things they do not like which will make them unhappy.
Stress and strain
Stress and strain means you are focusing on these on unpleasant things. This means that the person is not happy.
Also by focusing on stress and strains a person does not see the beautiful, wonderful; joyous things in life and get to enjoy them.
Satisaction
A person will not be happy if they want more than they have.
So if a person has all they want, then they will be happy.
If a person wants a lot more than they can easily get, then they will have a lot of stress, strain in trying vto get it, which can lead to unhappiness and anger
However even if a person does not want much, as everything below God is impermanent then eventually they will be sad as even that will go.
If a person does not want anything for themselves, then there will be no attachment, so there will be peace, happiness etc.
Coping with sadness
To help cope with sadness and even depression, see the beauty in it.
Sadness comes and goes, it is not permanent.
Sadness is energy, use the energy.
A person can choose where their happiness comes from, they can choose it to come from a particular hobby, lifestyle choice etc. Best for it to come from service and inner things. Need to not let outside things destroy happiness.
The middle way of happiness, being gently happy, avoids the constant ups and downs. This is because a person wanting excess can never be truly happy, as then the person can never have enough. Also the ups must come to downs, so best to have a middle way.
The happiness needed means have what needs, is manageable and worthy.
We are naturally happy
A person’s natural home is God, as in being with God.
As people we are naturally happy.
So need to just not let anything get in the way of your happiness.
A person can be happy, by just not letting events, people, desires, problems and so on, get in the way of them being naturally happy.
Responsibility
People who aim for happiness are often do not take responsibility. This also means that often do not take the time to learn develop etc.
Responsibility is not fun, can be boring, is stressful and a strain. It is often the buzz kill that stops the fun, because the responsible thing means the fun thing cannot be done, or done instead of doing fun things. The fun things can even be irresponsible.
However in the long term if people do not take responsibility, their lives do not go well, because they are not able to achieve and do things and get the reward that come from being responsible.
I’m the long term they do nothing and life falls apart.
In the end it is best to be responsible, but still take time out to have fun.
Achievement and creating things
People often think they will get happiness from having things, the biggest satisfaction comes from creating things, so a job well done that is a result for people.
An example could be fixing a tap for someone in the home, or building something for somebody. A real sense of achievement.
Enjoyment
It is easy to think that enjoyment is happiness, when it is not. Enjoyment is deriviing pleasure from having the thing.
This is not happiness, happiness comes from being good and not succumbing to evil. Happines is also from how a person is and how they are, which is from not what they have.
It is easy to think that enjoyment is happines, when it is not.
Selfishly wanting happiness makes you depressed or less happy
When selfishly wanting something, you are clouded and get it less.
With things involving selfish lust, you are less happy.
A bit like how people in beauty salons selfishly wanting to be attractive, look ugly selfishly when they are selfishly wanting to be pretty.
When you selfishly want something you are clouded by your selfishness, so get it less.
If you work towards something you will get it, but that work is not selfish lust, it is doing work which is different.
If you do things to make others happy, you will be happier, as long as you are making them happy by giving them things that are genuinely good for them.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment July 31, 2013 5 MinutesRichard BransonTaking on giant rival businesses
Not exact quotes, but things I learned reading texts written by richard branson
For an upstart to take on a giant and win, it only needs bravery, good people and a great idea. If you have a brilliant team around you, are determined to make it work and develop a concept that will genuinely have a positive impact upon people’s lives, then nothing can stop you.
The only one who can hold you back is yourself.
What to focus on
If you don’t have time for the small things, you won’t have time for the big things.
Focus on ideas, product, execution and your team. If you do this the money will ultimately come. People who focus on finance generally fail.
Entrepreneurs
Entrepreneurs create value from views opposite to other people and society.
They see economic value where others see heaps of nothing. And they see business opportunities where others see only dead ends.
Entrepreneurs driven just by profit are a lot more likely to fail. The entrepreneurs who succeed usually want to make a difference to people’s lives, not just their own bank balances. The desire to change things for the better is the motivation for taking risks and pursuing seemingly impossible business ideas.
Ideas
While some of us are lucky enough to experience game-changing inspiration, the vast majority of us will develop ideas through a more methodical approach.
Most his ideas took a lot longer to formulate and are the result of steady observation.
His best inspirations came from everyday frustrations encountered at work and in his personal life. Simply taking note of them can lead to great ideas, because if you follow up and find that you can offer consumers a better solution than the ones currently on the market.
Always keep a notebook handy to jot down ideas for improving our businesses; the same applies for starting them.
The important thing is to make a practice of it, preferably every day. Curiosity is a great quality in an entrepreneur: Since there are countless problems to solve, we are all exposed to many different opportunities throughout the day – all you have to do is follow up.
Management
Key to any business is communication and attention to detail. In the early days of Virgin Airlines they used to run out of sugar a lot, this would annoy some coffee drinkers if they could not have it on a long flight. Communication was needed so head office found out from the air hostesses and attention to detail, so they knew how important such a small thing was.
ready8 Business Leave a comment July 30, 2013 2 MinutesSocial skills (how to get people to like you)This is learned from someone who met Tony Blair the former UK pri minister.
1, He made the person he was talking to feel like the most important thing in the world.
2, Genuinly be interested in everything about the other person, not just generically, but their skills and other things. He did not go up to other people and mention about himself and what he had done, he just asked the person he was talking to about themselves and what they do.
3, He then deprecated himself in relation to the other person, by saying things like ‘I wish I could do that’ or ‘what you do is do much more important than what I do’.
4, He also acted with an openess of a best, trusted friend who cares about, admires and loves the person he was talking to as a best friend would. Normally people only do this openess with another person if they care, love and really trusts someone. This openess means on an astral level he really could be hurt, so most people normally only do this if they really trust the person they are talking to. This best friend stuff was of course a false promise that he wanted to be their best friend.
Of course Tony Blair used this for people to choose him for pri minister and other such roles.
General things, not specifically Tony Blair
Be very appreciative and thank ful of people and what they do.
Be humble. MN
An interest in people
Able to look at and be very aware of people’s feelings, this is the big one. For example can tell how people are hurt, when they are told that they are wrong or should do things differently.
Interested in people.
A communicator.
Then can know what they want and not to hurt them.
This means a person can be a warm, friendly person, that wants to hug other people and get them into the community.
This is about feelings and emotions, which is the opposite of somebody who is interested in logic, machines, calculations, physics and computers.
However, each person has a different makeup, this just may not be you. Your value may be in science, logic, computers, etc.
Do not be self absorbed
Being self absorbed is being preoccupied with one’s own thoughts, emotions, life, good qualities, bad qualities, what they look like etc.
A definition of love is to value the well being of others more, or as much as your own.
When being with people it has to all be about them, not at all about yourself.
So need to be firstly thinking about, interested in, hoping for and wanting the best for other people’s thoughts, emotions, life, qualities, what they look like etc. Also known as goodwill and best wishes.
Cannot fake it, actually have to do it, then you will shine and people will want to be with you.
Of course do not push it too far, have to make sure you needs are met so you can function and be well for others.
People liking and loving you
To be liked, a person has to like other people.
So by liking other people, a person becomes likeable.
Love is a bigger and greater version of like.
To get love, a person has to give love.
So by giving love to other people, a person becomes lovable.
You have to genuinely love other people. Love is a hugely powerful thing and it’s what does it.
Of course to do these things properly, they have to be done without any thought of return.
People will naturally like a person who loves God, God is the power behind all that all is made from and is one with. So by a person loving God, they love all.
People thinking you are awesome and wanting to get to know you
Be kind and empathetic.
Empathy means understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another. An empathic person can also do this without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in a physical manner ; also : the capacity for this
So you show empathy and ready comprehension of other people states. For example you are aware that someone needs something and helps them get it.
Also be fun, if you do fun things and share those experiences with others by telling stories with them and letting people join you it is a good way. However you have to do fun things and enjoy doing them to be able to do this.
People often do not care if a person is good or bad, just if they are charming or tedious.
Never tell people they are wrong
Highly advanced people want other people to say when they are wrong but these people are few and far between. Also this should only be done when the person really need to know that because what they are wrong about is relevant.
For the fast majority of people they want to know they are right and not that they are wrong about anything. This is to the smallest tiniest degree.
People want to know how to they are very right they are and how good it is they are right about it.
However be careful of flattery which is telling people how great they are, or something they have is, for insincere reasons, or telling them that something is great when it is not.
So only tell someone it’s great when it is and also only for the right reasons. Needs to be done because that you want someone to be well and good. It must not be not because you selfishly want something from them, or even worse that you are being dishonest with them to get it.
Being fun
Need to be fun for people to want to be with you, that is what you are, play games, joke and enjoy being with others like a party. People will want to be you because it is like fun at a party.
However people who are in that mood are not reliable and organised. People are often wanting to be with such people, like sales people can be like this. However they are no good at actually producing things, because doing those things is boring. People do not want to be with people who are boring.
So need to be able to change from being fun and enjoying yourself when want people to want to be with you. To being focused determined and organised, when things actually need to be done.
Happy and Joy
People want to be around people who are happy and have joy.
Have a look at Britney Spears, she is happy and full of joy, that’s why people want to be around her.
She’s enjoying things, and the things she does.
So when you have a performer or dancer, they’re enjoying themselves. Other people will only enjoy whatever you do, if you are as well.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment July 25, 2013 5 MinutesMoralsSigns of genuine morality
If you count what you have given away to other people, it means you expecting a reward and it is not true benevolence. So do not count what you have given away.
Service
True morals are about service.
As morals are about service, whether a person is serving a good or evil being will determine if they themselves are good, or bad.
A person needs to serve good and destroy evil.
Should only serve people who will treat what you give them properly and who deserve it. Although never get extreme with this as mercy is always needed.
By serving God you are doing good, because God wants what is right for the universe. If you serve a bad person, then you will be doing bad, because a bad person does not want what is right for the universe.
When you are serving God correctly, you have given yourself to God, so you are God’s. God then owns and instructs you, as god is your master.
However God is a good master, so wants you to be well and free.
Signs a person is serving a good master
A good master wants other people to do things not for the master, but for others.
A good master wants the follower to be true to thenselves and an individual, not just follow orders and be a clone of the master.
A good master wants to people to learn, knowing eventually that the pupil will exceed and be better than the master.
Although the master needs some obedience from the servant, the master want the servant and to be as well as possible and not oppress them in any way.
The master only wants a servant to follow them if they would like to, lets them make their own mistakes and is fine if the servant goes elsewhere whenever they would like to.
In truth the master is there to serve the servant, so the servant can be as well as possible from having served the master.
The servant when serving the master is doing what they are told, not just in physical actions, but also psychologically, intellectually and spiritually. So if the servant goes downhill on these levels there is a problem with the master. The master is not just telling them what, but from his example also showing how and why to do it.
How to become more moral
Think about the needs and welfare of others, this must be the motivation, what keeps the person interested and focused on doing it.
The needs, welfare, feelings, worries and so on of others must really matter.
The person does not think so much about their own wants, purposes as they are so focused on others.
Their purpose is to do what is right for God, the universe and others.
Need to really care about God and others on all levels, physical, psychological, emotionally, spiritually, divine and with God.
So need to be aware of, feel other people’s joy, sadness etc. If care about other people will do this.
Of course need to have what you need to serve others. The big thing is the difference is between having what you want and having what you need. Also the person has it for the sake of others, so can serve others. Having what you want is a never ending cycle, that leads to people wanting more and more, this is far in excess of what you need.
When this is done right, the person has what they need for serving others. For example, the food they eat is so they have the energy and a healthy body for serving others.
It is about motive, why the person is doing it. For example:
•To get money enough money to live, survive and procreate like a vegetable. These people tend to be the workers who do as little as possible, just enough to get by.
•To be the best, top dog, number one in the competition, head of the pack and power, like an animal. These people tend to be the politicians, leaders etc.
•For the glory of God. These people are the most productive and produce the greatest work.
Whereas the thief is looking for an opportunity to steal. The good person is looking for an opportunity to do good.
Signs that someone is not moral
People will of course pretend they are highly moral, but the following saturday things can be subtle giveaways.
excessive lust for example when having food in front of them.
look at people when they think nobody is looking at them, for example when out walking down street.
look at people doing a minor interaction with someone they do not regard as important to their life, you may see a very different person. It could be something as subtle as a hand movement or one minute a twitch in their voice which gives away their disregard for others.
fear for their own well being.
Levels of morality
This is best described in the amazing book The Bhagavad Gita.
Tamas: laziness and indifference this is the worst of all.
Rajas: doing things purely for reward.
Sattva: doing things because it is right.
If you are at Tamas, it is best to work towards Rajas and then later go to Sattva. Going straight from Tamas to Sattva in one go for is often an excessive short term goal which will only result in failure.
Light and dark
When a person thinks about others, creates for others and gives what they have for others, they are like a shining light. As what they have is for others, they receive even more from above because it is for other people and creating for other people. There is a circle of giving to others, so more comes down from above. As a result of this circle of giving for others, more comes from above, for going to others, things get bigger and bigger and better and better, lighter and lighter.
When just thinking about yourself and taking for yourself, no light is produced, it is just sucked in like a black hole. A person does not get things from above because it is just about taking, it is not to serve others at, they are just taking for themselves. The person becomes more dead, lacking energy, wisdom and becomes more lifeless.
Being deserving
God gives people the good looks, energy, intellect and wisdom that they deserve and will treat properly. If they earn these things and then mis treat them, they will loose them.
If you need and deserve energy, you will receive it. Things you have must be for god, god wants what is best for others and the world.
So whatever a person has, be it a company, child, an investment and so on. It is for god and owned by god, it is not theirs.
Short and long term
Doing good may seem like pain, suffering, hard work and losss in the beginning, but in the long term is always the best way.
Doing bad may seem like pleasure, enjoyment, easy and gain in the short term, but in the long time will be a huge disaster which the person will pay for.
A person’s lower sensual desires may make them want things in the short term, which is why a person has to listen to god and think about the long term. A person needs to think about their future incarnations and lives, it is that long term.
God thinks about the lifetime of this universe, the universe after this one and after this one. Even the duration of this universe is under a minute in the mind of god, god thinks that long term.
So to be moral a person has to be able to do the long term.
A person’s desire for gratification can make them want something now. They selfishly want it and cannot wait. This may mean they do it at the wrong time.
For example:
Spending money before have earned it, means have to borrow. Paying the interest in something for consumption and not investing, means paying more in the long term so getting less.
They want to eat the cake now, they are focused on this so cannot see any more than selfishly eating the cake. So they do not think about what is right for others, doing work which will create things for the future, what is going on in the rest of the universe etc.
A person does not want to do work as it seems boring and painful now. They cannot see how it will create things for the future and help others.
The advantages of doing things from service
It is best to focus on service and not on reward.
Most people spend most of the energy dreaming of reward and very little going into the job.
As servers are focused on the job, not on the reward, they can do the job again and again not worrying about failure. They can change things and take risks. They have huge persistence, are able to continue and are not affected by failure.
Being free from dreaming about reward, they are clearer in what they are doing.
By doing good service, they receive more energy wisdom and ability from god. This is so they can do the good things better, as what they do is for others.
As all their energy and focus is on service and not just dreaming of reward, they perform so much better.
Awareness
When a person is just thinking of them selves and what they receive (the ego). The person does not see the whole world, others and so on. They are only interested in themselves so only see themselves and their corner. This means they do not see the rest of, all of the world and how it works.
By caring about others, one becomes aware of the rest of the world and how it works. This is because the person is interested in the world and not just themselves, as they care about the world.
As the world is one unit, operating as a whole, with consequences, comings and goings etc. The person is then aware of how the world really works, they see the whole and bigger picture.
General
When someone is doing something morally they just get on with it, they may not get a reward but ‘so be it’, they just get on with it. They do the work.
Focus
Focus on the job, not the reward.
Just like aiming a gun, a person needs to focus on the target and the rest will follow.
The driver looks at where the car should go and the rest follows.
Need to focus on the aim, as then the sub conscious and even the higher worlds can help and get on with it. However that aim to create something for others and not personal reward.
Dreaming of the personal reward is the opposite of focusing on the job and getting it done. Most people spend most of their energies dreaming of reward and not getting on with the job.
So need to focus on what on the aim, get on with the job and not fantasise of personal reward.
Focusing on the aim is constructive, dreaming of reward is just selfish wants that do not create anything.
Although focusing on the aim is needed to be successful. It may not necessarily be moral if that aim is sonething for yourself.
It needs to be an aim to create something which is for others. So for example, a business person aims at making money, but that money must be dedicated to God and others.
Being moral can be boring
Many people believe that morality is a bit boring, a bit like being in a quiet serene country club, with nice company and gentle food.
Many people prefer the loud, flashy, sexy, bright lights, alcoholic drinking such as in a gambling town. They get bored without them and so want them.
They see these things as exciting. This is even though such things always have another side of pain and suffering.
To be frank being moral is boring, things always go nicely and well is boring and not exciting.
People for example often are friendly with and associate themselves with less nice because it is more exciting and interesting. It may be for the challenge as such people are more difficult to handle and deal with, or because of the excitement caused by being with such people because of the naughty things they do.
This is like how films and novels have a story where something has gone wrong. Once the problem in the story is sorted out and there is a happy ending, the film or novel finishes as it is boring and not entertaining.
However a person normally choose this excitement and not the nice boring way because the person does not care about others, so want for these things are not over ridden by caring for others.
So if you are with people please remember you may need to do the second one with many of them, or many people will find you boring.
A person who cares about others realises that drugs, alcohol, gambling and so on causes them damage which means they are not able to serve others, help others and may even become a burden to them. A person who cares about others is also motivated to spend their time and energy helping others and not doing these selfish tbings.
Yes morality may seem a bit boring, but the resulting pretty, quiet, serene joyousness is the best way of having inner peace, so being happy and does not lead to negative karma.
Focus on service and not on reward
If a person is focused on service then they are doing the job.
If they are focused on enjoyment and indulgence of things then that is the opposite. However that does mean the person does not enjoy things and get pleasure from things so much.
It means the person does not get so stressed and frantic about whether they get things or not. They also do not have the massive lows from when they eventually loose the reward or things go wrong. They are not so focused on getting these rewards for themselves; they do not see so much if they have them.
So even if a person has lots of reward, it makes little difference to them as they are not thinking about them all the time.
A person who does good naturally receive happiness, pleasure and joy. This is good at this not be rejected or seen as a bad feeling. It is just that the person is not chasing it for themselves.
Things it takes morals to do
Admit to yourself that you are wrong, this is far harder than admitting it to others.
Not want revenge. People punishing others for the sake of the other person needing a learning experience, if the other person has not learned the lesson and will not learn any other way is fine. However not a person getting revenge on another person because they want it for themselves to be even.
Emotions and feelings
A good person feels:
really good when they do something good (as they care about goodness in the universe as a thing in itself, doing the right thing and also the other person they have effected by their actions)
really bad when they do something bad. (for the same reason)
An evil person:
really bad when they do something good. (as they feel like they have lost something)
really good when they do something bad (as they feel like they have gained something)
So it is about what the person is focused on.
Productivity
Moral people are more productive as they are focused on service and are not using up time and energy worrying about the loss of what they have given away.
They are focused on giving, producing and helping, not on loosing things from having given them away, rejection and failure. This gives them huge energy, enthusiasm and creativity as they are not worried by loss and they are not worried by having used up their time and energy and getting nothing in return.. They just care about creating, the long term and others.
They are fine and may not even notice or care if they have:
given away energy when they gave someone happiness
felt smaller when they lifted someone up with a compliment
smiled at someone and the other person did not smile back
put time and energy into a project that failed.
As they are focused on giving and not interested, or worried by what they have lost
How being moral benefits a person
People who look after themselves best, manage it because they care about others. It is easy for them to do things to keep themselves healthy as it is for the other people who benefit by them being well. If the person is well then others can get the best service from them.
If a person does not look after themselves so they are unhealthy, then they cannot serve others well, their bad health will he a burden on others, it is not nice energies and stuff to be putting into the universe and it is not pleasant for other people to see and be around the person.
Also people who do things for others end up being healthy, because the higher worlds ensure this as it is for the sake of other pe ople who get things from them.
Getting bigger and bigger, greater and greater, higher and higher.
When a person does good and is doing things for others, God gives the more tools, teachings and energies and so on.
This is because the person is doing things for God and right so deserves more.
Like a snowball going downhill, accumulating and gaining more and more snow, going faster and faster, getting bigger and bigger and so on. A person who does good for the sake of God will become more and more intelligent, capable, energised, brilliant and have more and more in their life.
Consequences
To be moral a person has to realise that everything has consequences.
For example, a person may want to hit or steal from a person, but will mean that other person wants revenge and in some way eventually they will get it, also guarding from that other person uses up energy and resources
So to be moral need to be aware of consequences.
The selfish desire to have something can lead to a person just looking at that and not consequences.
Often a person becomes more moral because their life has gone so badly. People are horrible to them, they have no money, nasty things keep on happening to them, they are sad angry and not happy.
They realise that this has happened as a result of their selfishness, so they go the other way and be good, because they have experienced that being selfish does not work and never want to do it again.
Needs and wants
However much a person wants, they will always want more. When a person sees something they want it.
They may think they can be satisfied, they will be happy when get more, but will get used to that and soon want more.
The solution is for a person to just focus on what they need.
For some people the person just wants enough food, water, clothing and warmth to be fine.
However each person is different, with a different make up, talents and so has different needs.
One person may need time to think, another space to run and for each of those people the other thing may be useless.
Only a person themselves knows what they need.
No one else can tell another person what they need.
A person has to be true to themselves and their own needs.
Everybody is different and unique.
However with needs, once u person has what they need, they do not need anymore. It does not grow and grow and grow, so morally they just have what they need and no more.
The best morals is for a person to have what they need for serving others. For example they eat just the food needed to have the energy they need for doing a job for others.
Caring
To be moral and in fact for anything to work, people have to care.
Care about the needs and welfare others and things going well.
Caring is an emotional, feeling thing and awareness thing, not just intellectual.
Self justification
A person needs to think they are doing the right thing.
People from ego, make themselves the hero of their own stories.
However a person in their heart of hearts knows the truth. If a person is not doing the right thing they feel awful, have a hard time sleeping etc.
When a person wants something, they can then try and justify why they are doing it, that it is right to do it, when it is not.
So please try and look out for self justification.
●You may be doing something wrong.
●You may be doing it for the wrong reasons, so you pretend to yourself are doing it for a reason are not doing it for.
●It may not be the right thing to do.
So by looking out for self justification, can see what should really be doing and why people really do things.
Whatever happens deep down in reality a person will know it is wrong, images will come up in their mind etc.
Confession
The hardest person to admit that you are doing the wrong thing to, is yourself.
The pain, humiliation and hardship of the knowing what doing is wrong, or have done is wrong. This is the biggest pain and sadness of all. That is why people have to drink, take drugs and get depressed, because of this sadness and pain.
The pain, muck and unpleasantness of the physical world, is nothing compared to that of the psychological world.
For a person to learn, progress and be moral, a person has to admit to themselves that they have done this wrong things.
Without a sense of shame, a person cannot be moral.
Even if they have consciously not admitted to themselves that they have done the wrong thing, their subconscious is probably punishing themselves anyway. Need to be careful not to punish myself too far so as to damage oneself.
It could even be for things a person did in their past life, that they are not even conscious of.
A human moment
On the path to becoming more moral need to have a human moment.
This is where are reflective.
Realise that are just a human being, the pain and suffering that have caused other people by things that have done wrong.
Realise the other people have hurt.
Then will be sad, often cry.
Then hopefully will try to reconcile with people to resolve these problems.
Responsibility
A person can only be truly moral if they take responsibility for what they have done and what they are doing. That it was them that did not behave correctly, it is not anyone else’s fault, they did it.
Only once a person is taking responsibility for themselves and their actions, how they affect others and God, can they really see what is right or wrong.
Although a person must behave properly themselves, they cannot take responsibility for the bad choices other people may choose to do, that is their own karma.
Redemption
First a person has to believe they are redeemable.
Then they learn that they have a choice and so can be moral.
Then as a person comes to understand the importance of moral values, the deeper becomes their shame, guilt, regret and sorrow when they think of their previous victims.
Selfish desire
Selfish desire is a dark energy of wanting things for yourself. It wants more, thinks will be happy and satisfied when has more but never is.
It leads to a person having a dark selfishness. They want things now and cannot wait, getting stressed, pushy and aggressive to others to get it. This aggression and dark energy effects them and so is damaging and shakes them apart as well. They become this dark hole.
Morals and good are a real thing
Morals and good are a real thing, force, concept, happening.
Evil and selfishness are also a real thing.
People who are selfish often cannot tell that good and evil are real things in the universe.
Need to meditate on, think about, focus on, have your heart and set on, be passionate about this real thing in the universe. Then as morals matter the person builds on and does these things for the sake of morality.
Like a person may care about a building, to that person morals matter and will be something a person really cares about.
As morals are a real thing, when a person has morals, others can tell and feel that they have that thing / are aligned with good from God.
This is because morals are from God and a person is just aligned with them.
In the same way others can tell and feel if a person is of evil and taking as that is a real force, thing, entity in the universe.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment July 24, 2013 17 MinutesHiring and investing in good people is most important part of any investment‘You can’t do a good business with a bad person. Find the right people to work with and you can’t go wrong.’ Richard Branson.
When shown an investment, Sir Tom Hunter does not care so much about the business plan. He cares about the people doing it, because if the business plan does not work out, if the people are good, they can change it to make it work.
Warren Buffet, value investing, first priority when looking at an investment is the quality of the people running the business, second priority is the business model and third priority is if it is a good price. The quality of the people running a business comes first.
When looking for managers, Warren Buffet’s first priority is honesty and integrity, second priority is intelligence and third priority is if they are energised. If they are dishonest you want them to be stupid and lazy because they will be a destructive force in the business.
Warren Buffet will only trust about 2 percent of management teams, which is why he only invests in a business about once every 2 years, because he has to look at so many businesses to find this.
In football there are many teams, very very few teams become the top winning teams and only one can be the best. The top few teams get 90 percent of the money in the whole industry and the volume of fans. So an investor has to search far, wide and for a long period of time over the whole of the relevant industry to find that person and that is who they should invest in.
They need to find the best football players in the country to be the winning team.
Need to find the people that will cause the company to be the winning one. This is just like there are many football teams, but the one with the best players gets to the top of the league. Also even in the winning team, normally it is the best players in that team that make it win.
Ultimately you are investing in people, not in businesses, because it is people that determine the business.
It is the very small amount of people in a business, who will take responsibility, work late, change what they are doing for the needs of the business and put themselves out, that makes a business survive. If that small percentage of people leave, the business quickly dies.
Warren Buffet believes when the people in the business are weakest, investors are obsessed with command and control systems in the business because the staff are weak. If you have the best staff, you do to not want to limit them with command and control structures, because they will be better than you can you do not want to restrict them.
Jack Welch says managers have to have hire people who are more intelligent and brilliant than themselves. If he is with his board and all the others are not more intelligent and brilliant than him, then he has a big problem and is in trouble.
Good investors and managers normally put most of their time into finding the best people to run the business and then leaves them to get on with it.
If the investor spends too much time telling them what to do, it is normally because they are obsessed with power and then are not with letting them get on with getting results.
A business cannot afford to hire a less good person for charitable reasons, it will turn the business from a winner to a loser. It is important to do charity, if you would like to do it by hiring such people, do a separate organisation, because it will make a loss and it needs to be separated so you know what is going on. The strong must help the deserving poor.
Be slow to hire quick to fire. This is not as cruel as it sounds, it is very hard to find the best people and the winners, so it takes a long time. The worst thing is to hire somebody now because you really need them, or the hiring person is too lazy to search around, you will not get the best person. You hope the staff member will stay many years, so the fact it may take weeks, or many months to find them, is nothing relative to that. However once the candidate starts work, their actual performance and results will make it very evident if they are winners or loosers. Yes training can help and people should be helped all that is possible.
However once it gets to the point, that they are still not being the best, on average people are very very slow to change, if they do at all. So you need to be quick to fire. Companies make very low profit on turnover business is incredibly competitive you cannot afford to carry that weight.
Incentivising staff to find the best people.
Staff may hire people who are worse than themselves, so they are not a threat getting promoted to the job they want to be promoted to, or even their own job.
However a successful manager is only successful if you hires people more honest, intelligent and energised than themselves.
If staff are less good than the manager, the manager will be running around all the time sorting out their mistakes and deserves to fail.
Tactics to resolve this are.
Have different parts or divisions to the business, separate to what the manager is involved with. Make it clear that any successful people will be moved to that other part of the business, so they will not be a threat to that manager. Also the manager who initially found, trained and promoted that worker, will be credited financially and with honour for having found them.
Make the managers that find, train and promote people who qualify to run other branches, heroes of the business.
Reward managers financially and with honour, when they find great people. It could even be rewarding a junior regular worker for finding a friend of theirs to do a job. It could be a junior manager finding a more junior person who already works in the company for doing a more senior job.
The Bell curve
Normally 20% of the staff are the ones that keep a business going. If they leave the business is dead.
It is often the people who stay on working on and thinking about the business outside their shift hours.
People that love doing the business and care.
20% of the staff are secretly malevolent and do more harm than good and a manager has to get them out.
The middle 60% of people are okay and do a decent job but are not the ones the business depends on.
Often there is just one person who will genuinely take responsibilty and think, without that person the business will die. Very fortunate if more than one of those in a business.
Hiring people for whom what that business does, is their life’s vocation
There needs to be an entrepreneur in the business, who can see what makes money and ensure the business does that thing.
However for the product or service produced, the entrepreneur needs to hire people that produces that service or product.
The entrepreneur needs to hire people for whom producing that product or service is their actual vocation in life, not just what they do to make money.
So if it is a cleaning business, then cleaning is their life’s vocation.
Manufacturing cars for a car manufacturer.
It could be architecture, or whatever that business does.
Programming for a computer programmer.
Needs to be what is their life’s vocation and interest.
They are actually thinking about, writing notes, working out that thing, all the time, even in their spare time. This is because it is what they life’s purpose and interest is.
For example if it is cleaning, they love to clean their home, look at cleaning products, talk about, study and do cleaning in their spare time.
Passion
Emotions are energy, they are the fuel thst powers people. A person has to have passion for something to succeed at it.
If a person is inspired and passionate about something they can do it two says what would normally take weeks or months.
A person needs passion and enthusiasm to succeed, if they are just doing it for the money they will do as little as possible for what is needed to get it.
It is possible for a person to have morality and so their passion is to do the thing for God and for others, which is the highest thing.
Things to look for in people
Some people just have some of these traits, but they can build a business focused on them to be a success. They then need to have a business model suited to their traits. Then they delegate the bits they are less good at.
-Morals (this is essential for all people)
-Ambition (practically everyone stops growing their business once they have enough money to be comfortable. So need a person who wants to be top dog)
-Imagination, this is needed to create, find out and work out new ideas of what to do.
-Persistence
-Intelligence
-Bravery
Marcus Lemonis says ‘If you are going to have a successful business, need to have people on the team that actually love and care about it as much as you do.’
ready8 Business Leave a comment July 23, 2013 6 MinutesBody languageBasic conceptsSoftness and openess is being nice to someone. Soft is to be gentle, nice like it is going to be good and nice to things.
Hardness and being closed is being nasty to someone.
Spikey sharp features are to be hurtful to people, eg lifting top lip to show front top incisors. Also sharp movements.
Height is good and capable. High up is seen as good, right.
Low down is seen as bad, wrong, incapable.
(Please note with the voice, low can be seen as masculine and strong which is necessary for a man and situations where aggression is needed)
Open is to be nice and let people in, or giving of what have to others.
Closed is to block others from getting in, or from getting things from yourself. Closed is not giving things from yourself or giving things away.
Movement:
Jerky movements with fast starts and stops are aggressive. It can be from fear as that leads to aggression.
Soft, slow, gentle movements with gentle starts and finishes are seen and felt as benevolent.
Often a sign of intelligence is not to move at all, basically when there is no reason to. Moving excessively can be because are stressed, or just lack of ability to control ones body as are less intelligent and capable.
Implementation of those concepts
Facial expressions
A benevolent friendly face:
Wide open eyes
Soft muscles all over your face
Open mouth (but not too much)
High up cheek muscles, top of your eyelids. Also lift up your eyebrows a bit.
High up sides up of your mouth to make a smile. Do not want to especially lift up top centre of mouth where incisor teeth are, as these pointy sharp teeth are sign of aggression. A great smile needs the sides of the mouth to be really high up, after doing this for a while, the muscles at the side of the mouth really hurt, it takes time to be able to build up these muscles.
Stupid and boring face:
Top of eyelids dropped down like asleep
Eyes looking downwards
Mouth generally low and dropping downwards
Head dropping downwards like asleep
So it is basically things falling down, you are not lifting them up as like you are asleep.
Love:
A smile where the sides of a person’s mouth are really high up giving a huge grin, does not necessarily mean that a person is giving others’ love. It means the person is happy, which is not quite the same emotion.
A smile means that the person is happy and all is well. When used in the context of another person or thing, it means that they are well.
To give love a person needs to have the sides of their mouth raised, but doing it loads means the person is very happy, not that they are giving love.
Raise the top of your upper eyelids so it is like you are looking up to the person you are talking to.
This also creates openness of the eyes, so you are being open, soft with them, letting them in, letting your good energies and so on come out to them, being friendly and giving to them. attention.
Looking good:
Harmonious emotion.
Not expressions that contort the face, so a look of love is great, but a massive huge grin like a massive smile contorts the face.
Looking young:
Face:
•Things higher, so the mouth eyelids, eyebrows, cheek muscles higher.
•Softer so muscles relaxed, because age toughens things.
•Can move things with ease, quickly and with energy. This is because are younger so have more energy.
Body:
•Parts of the body higher as when get older, get weaker so carry parts of the •Body lower.
•Muscles soft.
•Move with ease, no straining especially as muscles are softer and easier.
•Move with energy, if you are older a person can only keep this up for so long.
Basically for looking younger, a person looks like they have more energy. So more energy is used up and an older person have to be careful.
Posture
Posture is very powerful, it expresses emotions, thoughts, relationshop to others, health, size, spirit, connection to God and all kinds of things.
For example a person standing straight and tall signifies they are at the top of the social hierarchy, in charge.
A person bent over, not standing straight denotes they might be a servant being told what to do.
This is because the person higher up is giving the orders, the person lower down is being told what to do.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment July 20, 2013 3 MinutesBeing good in bedWomen need to emotionally connected with a man before they open up ‘downstairs’. This needs loads of romance sing and courtship, taking her for dinner and being romantic.
A lady will have a stronger orgasm if the man has done loads of foreplay beforehand. The women’s orgasm actually stems from long forplay.
A man can get aroused an orgasm within a minute, a lady can take half an hour or more to get more and more aroused.
If a lady ever says that something tickles, such is when you kiss her neck. It is because she has not opened up to you yet, is feeling defensive so she goes all tight and to her it tickles when you do something. It is the same when going down to her ower regions as well.
It takes lots of courtship and time from the man, for her to feel comfortable with you, open up to and submit to you.
If the man manages to give the lady an orgasm, she will think that he is marvellous. The man must make sure he keep the romance going after orgasm, so he does not ruin that and she still thinks he is wonderful.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment July 20, 2013 1 MinuteHenry FordThings I learned from Henry Ford’s book ‘My Life and Work’. I have not quoted him, these are just how his ideas added to my understanding of the world.
Focus on service, not the reward. The work is what creates the results.
The principles of service are:
1. An absence of fear of the future and of veneration for the past. One
who fears the future, who fears failure, limits his activities. Failure
is only the opportunity more intelligently to begin again. There is no
disgrace in honest failure; there is disgrace in fearing to fail. What
is past is useful only as it suggests ways and means for progress.
2. A disregard of competition. Whoever does a thing best ought to be the
one to do it. It is criminal to try to get business away from another
man–criminal because one is then trying to lower for personal gain the
condition of one’s fellow man–to rule by force instead of by intelligence.
3. The putting of service before profit. Without a profit, business
cannot extend. There is nothing inherently wrong about making a profit.
Well-conducted business enterprise cannot fail to return a profit, but
profit must and inevitably will come as a reward for good service. It
cannot be the basis–it must be the result of service.
4. Manufacturing is not buying low and selling high. It is the process
of buying materials fairly and, with the smallest possible addition of
cost, transforming those materials into a consumable product and giving
it to the consumer. Gambling, speculating, and sharp dealing, tend only to clog this progression.
http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/7213/pg7213.txt
Business men believe that you could do anything by “financing” it. If
did not succeed on the first financing, then the idea was to
“refinance.” The process was simply sending good money after bad. In the majority of cases the failure was from bad management, so was just
paying poor managers to keep up their bad management a little longer.
The only foundation of real business is service.
Given a good idea to start with, it is better to concentrate on perfecting it, than hunting around for a new idea. One idea at a time is as much as anyone can handle.
Good to be selling something that is a universal necessity and that you can do in quantity.
No work which is something you are interested in, is hard.
Draw a plan and work out every detail on the plan before start to build. Otherwise lots of time wasted in makeshifts and finished article not have coherence. It will not be rightly proportioned.
Many inventors fail because they do not distinguish between planning and experimenting.
Most businesses conduct themselves by giving large attention to finances and smaller attention to service, but this is the reverse of the natural process that money comes from work and not before work. Profit is made from work, not from just putting money into things.
The pressing to make a short term profit on an “investment”–can lead to skimping of work and hence of service. It was the cause of low wages–for without well-directed work, high wages cannot be paid. If the whole attention
is not given to the work, it cannot be the first consideration and well directed. So counter productively it is the money and not the work that counted. It is illogical that money should be put ahead
of work, profit comes
from work. The desire seemed to be to find a short cut to money and
to pass over the obvious best route–which is through the work.
Most businesses indifferent to better methods of manufacture, as long as it got by and brought in money. So no reference for how greatly served public, just how much money got for it and no care if customer was satisfied.
If a man does his work well, the price he gets for that work, profits and financial matters will take care of themselves.
So a business should start small and build itself up out of its earnings. If there are no earnings then that is a signal that owner is wasting his time and does not belong in that
business. Some people want to do it faster by starting off with largest possible capitalisation, then sell all the stocks and bonds that they can. Whatever money left over after all the huge stock and bond-selling expenses and promoters, charges and all that, grudgingly goes into the foundation of the business. I could not see how a business could be expected to be able to charge into its product a great big bond interest.
The sale of the machine is only an
introduction. If the machine does not give service, then it is better
for the manufacturer if he never had the introduction, as worst of all advertisements is a a dissatisfied customer. Salesman on commission just see selling a car as the accomplishment and it does not matter what happens to the buyer after, as only paid only for what they sell. It is right on this point that he made the largest selling argument for the Ford. A man who buys a car is entitled to continuous use of that car, the success of the Ford car was that service was an outstanding element.
Need to have a long term view, short term financial aims breaks up service, because it looks to the immediate dollar, future business will be sacrificed for making money today.
The only use of money is to
buy tools to work with or the product of tools. Therefore money is worth
what it will help you to produce or buy and no more and that is how the rate of investment return should be worked out. Any return should come after it has produced, not before.
Many men in business feel that
their lot was hard–they work against a day when they might retire and
live on an income–get out of the strife. Life to them was a battle to
be ended as soon as possible. Life is not a battle except with our own
tendency to sag with the downpull of “getting settled.” If to petrify is
success all one has to do is to humour the lazy side of the mind but if
to grow is success, then one must wake up anew every morning and keep
awake all day.
Many great businesses become a ghost because someone thought they could be managed just as they were always managed. The management may have been excellent in its day, but it was alert in it’s day, not in slavish following of its yesterdays. Life is not a location, but a journey. Even the man who most feels himself “settled” is not settled–he is probably sagging back. Everything is in flux, and was meant to be. Life flows. We may live at the same number of the street, but it is never the same man who lives there.
Out of the delusion that life is a battle that may be lost by a false move, comes a great love for regularity. Men fall into the half-alive habit. People do not take up new more efficient production methods. Habit conduces to a certain inertia, and any disturbance of it affects the mind like trouble. Even if workmen might be taught to produce with less useless motion and fatigue,
it is opposed by the workmen themselves as it interferes with the well-worn grooves in which they have
become accustomed to move. Business men go down because they like the old way so well they cannot bring themselves to change. Men who do not know that yesterday is past, and who woke up this morning with their last year’s ideas. When a man begins to think that he has at last found his method, normally some part of him has gone to sleep. If a man thinks he is “fixed” for life, it indicates that the next jolt of the wheel of progress is going to fling him off.
There a great fear of being thought a fool by public opinion. It
is not a bad thing to be a fool for righteousness’ sake. The best
is that such fools usually live long enough to prove that they were not
fools–or the work they have begun lives long enough to prove they were
not foolish.
Time spent fighting competition is wasted, better off just doing the work. There are always enough people ready and anxious to buy, provided you supply what they want and at the proper price. Trying to get rid of competition to get more money for less work is always a bad idea. Whether it is collaboration between competitors to restrict supply and raise the price, trade unions and so on. Creating artificial monopolies is a waste of time, just focus on the work.
A man who runs a business, can never leave his business, he needs to think of it by day and dream of it by night. If just working work office hours, then will just be an employee accepting direction, not a director or manager of anything. A manual labourer must limit his hours, otherwise he will wear himself out. However if he intends to go forward and be a manager or director, the end of his shift must only be a signal to start thinking over the day’s work in order to discover how it might be done better.
(1) That finance is given a place ahead of work and therefore tends to
kill the work and destroy the fundamental of service.
(2) That thinking first of money instead of work brings on fear of
failure and this fear blocks every avenue of business–it makes a man
afraid of competition, of changing his methods, or of doing anything
which might change his condition.
(3) That the way is clear for any one who thinks first of service–of
doing the work in the best possible way.
Chapter 3
It is always possible to do a thing better the second time, so processes should be that people try and do something as many times as possible.
If in a hurry to obtain something to sell, a person does not take time for adequate preparation.
Should take one’s best selling article and concentrate on it. Then plan day and night and probably for years, first on something which will best suit the public and then on how it should be made. The exact processes
of manufacturing will develop of themselves. Then, if we shift the
manufacturing from the profit to the service basis, we shall have a real
business in which the profits will be all that any one could desire. All that has to be done in order to adopt it is to overcome the habit of grabbing at the nearest dollar as though it were the only dollar in the world.
It is impossible to get a product on which one may concentrate, unless an
unlimited amount of study is given beforehand. It is not just an
afternoon’s work.
Best to have just one model of car, if have more models, producer’s energies are scattered and it makes each one more expensive to make, so in total sell less units in total.
Once a car comes off production line, it should be given to testing staff to test it.
If you give attention to work and service, you will not need to strain your resources because they will increase more rapidly than you can devise ways and means of disposing of them.
To get good staff they must see the job as being stable.
Pay sales staff the very highest reward for service and then insist upon getting the highest service.
Chapter 4
Once a prosperous company, could easily have sat down and said: “Now we have arrived. Let us hold what we have got.”
When production reached one
hundred cars a day, he hoped before long to make a thousand a
day. The temptation to stop and hang on to what one has is quite natural. I
can entirely sympathize with the desire snd urge to quit a life of activity and
retire to a life of ease. He thinks that a man who retires ought
entirely to get out of a business. There is a disposition to retire and
retain control. Progress is merely as an invitation to do more–as an indication that have reached a place where might begin to perform a real service.
Study the competitions’ products, take them apart, see how they do things better. Then from what you have learned, see if you can push it further and do it even better.
Products have to be fool proof, so users if them cannot mess them up.
The less complex an article, the easier it is to make, the cheaper it may be sold, and therefore the greater number may be sold.
Any defect in service must be instantly and rigorously investigated, but when the suggestion is only as to style, one has to make sure it is not merely one person’s whim that does not reflect the other buyers who have not said anything.
People thought Ford’s large mass production factory would go wrong, only because of their failure to grasp that a principle rather than an individual was at work, and the principle was so simple that it seemed mysterious.
It was the application of modern mass production manufacturing methods that lowered the price and heightened the quality. Henry Ford just developed a discovery, or idea and this idea was the nucleus of the business.
An inventor or a thoughtful workman works out a new and better
way to serve some established human need; the idea commends itself, and
people want to avail themselves of it. In this way a single individual
may prove, through his idea or discovery, the nucleus of a business. But the creation of the body and bulk of that business is shared by everyone
who has anything to do with it.
No manufacturer can say: “I built this
business”–if he has required the help of thousands of men in building
it. It is a joint production. Everyone employed in it has contributed
something to it.
Chapter 5
Money is made from ideas that reduce the costs of production, or increases what can be sold for the same cost. All the little improvements add up to a lot.
It is the product that pays the wages, management that arranges the production so that the product may pay the wages. The employer only handles the money.
If unskilled workers do not learn their jobs within a few hours or days, they will never be of any use to the business. They need to be able to do enough work to pay the overhead charges on the floor space they occupy.
Two general principles in all operations to reduce costs and increase productivity:
that a man shall never have to take more than one step, if possibly it can be avoided.
no man need ever stoop over.
The principles of assembly are these:
(1) Place the tools and the men in the sequence of the operation so that
each component part shall travel the least possible distance while in
the process of finishing.
(2) Use work slides or some other form of carrier so that when a workman
completes his operation, he drops the part always in the same
place–which place must always be the most convenient place to his
hand–and if possible have gravity carry the part to the next workman
for his operation.
(3) Use sliding assembling lines by which the parts to be assembled are
delivered at convenient distances.
These principles enable the reduction of the necessity for thought on the part of the worker and reduction of his movements to a minimum. As nearly as possible he only he does one thing with only one movement.
The man who places a part does not fasten it–the part may not be fully
in place until after several operations later. The man who puts in a
bolt does not put on the nut; the man who puts on the nut does not
tighten it.
Try every new thing just a little at first, have to know absolutely that the new way is better before ripping out all of the old way.
The following enabled 3-4 times more production per worker.
1, making it so that if is an 84 stage production process to build an object, 84 workers each do one of the assembly processes.
2, raising level of production line so no one bends over.
3, then can speed up the line as a result.
A worker must not be hurried in his work–he must have every second necessary but not a single unnecessary second.
Dividing and subdividing operations, keeping the work in motion–those are the keynotes of production.
Unskilled people can be used as must only be skilled in exactly one operation, which the most stupid man can learn
within two days.
Every piece of work in the shops moves, the point is that there is no lifting or trucking of anything other than materials and these are brought to the line by transportation department on their vehicles.
If one man has failed to succeed with a new production method and everyone says it is impossible. Another man may well succeed. Maybe first person did not try again and again, know, or pay attention to the previous production figures.
None of our men are “experts.” Necessary to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert–because no one ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job. A man who knows a job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient he is. Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the “expert” state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
I refuse to recognise that there are impossibilities. I cannot discover
that any one knows enough about anything on this earth definitely to say
what is and what is not possible. The right kind of experience, the
right kind of technical training, ought to enlarge the mind and reduce
the number of impossibilities. It unfortunately does nothing of the
kind. Most technical training and the average of that which we call
experience, provide a record of previous failures and, instead of these
failures being taken for what they are worth, they are taken as absolute
bars to progress. If some man, calling himself an authority, says that
this or that cannot be done, then a horde of unthinking followers start
the chorus: “It can’t be done.”
Not a single operation is ever considered as being done in the best or
cheapest way.
Old processes like casting metal which have been done for hundreds or thousands of years, have accumulated many traditions which make improvements extraordinarily difficult to bring about.
Even a worker having to shift their feet when making something, can double how long it can take to do the job.
Every production line has inspectors at the end of it, even for example a small line for making pistons.
Foremen analyse every movement a person makes with stopwatch, to see how methods can be improved.
Every foot of space not used carries an overhead expense, we want none of that waste.
All the car parts are designed so that they can be most easily made.
Chapter 6
The hardest fight in bringing together a large number of people to do work is against excess organization and consequent red tape.
The hierarchy charts where a message from the bottom, has to go through every level until it gets to the top causes messages:
hugely slow speeds
incorrect degraded communications.
become gathered into a pound of criticisms, suggestions, and
comments.
the buck is passed to and fro and all responsibility is dodged by
individuals–following the lazy notion that two heads are better than
one.
People should just go directly to who they need to speak to, however high up that may be.
So must have no organization, no specific duties attaching to any position, no line of succession or of authority, very few titles, and no conferences. Only the clerical help that is absolutely required; no elaborate records of any kind, and
consequently no red tape.
We make the individual responsibility complete. People do not have their job roles defined, just their area, team they are in. Managers have team, floor, factory they are in charge of and so on.
No specific duties, all have jobs, but there are no limits to their jobs. People just go themselves to work in where they best fit. Every man has to know what is going on in his area of responsibility.
A group of men, wholly intent
upon getting work done, have no difficulty in seeing that the work is
done so it is not haphazard. The work controls people, not titles.
No titles and limits to a person’s authority means:
people not thinking about the limits of their authority, because they are thinking of titles.
bosses are fine if their staff go over their head, which makes them behave better as an injustice will be found out.
people not using them to get out of doing work.
not using them to look down on others.
not get people who are not real leaders, but have a title which is big cause of disatisfaction among workers.
Everybody acknowledges a real leader–a man who is fit to plan and command. And when you find a real leader who bears a title, you will have to inquire of someone else what his title is. He doesn’t boast about it.
Not the division of responsibility from titles, which leads to a removal of responsibility altogether. Where responsibility is broken up into many small bits and divided among many departments, each department under its own titular head, who in turn is surrounded by a group bearing their nice sub-titles, it is difficult to find any one who really feels responsible. People pass the buck, passing responsibility on saying not covered by their department. Every staff member, whatever his place, must feel that everything that happens
to come to his notice relating to the welfare of the business is his own
job.
Big source of personal dissatisfaction among men than the fact that the title-bearers are not always the real leaders. Everybody acknowledges a real leader–a man who is fit to plan and command. And when you find a real leader who bears a title, you will have to inquire of someone else what his title is. He doesn’t boast about it.
Must not tolerate is injustice of any kind. The moment a man starts to swell with authority, he looses that job, or goes back to a machine.
A large amount of labour unrest comes from the unjust exercise of authority by those in subordinate positions.
Offices and all that cause people to give up their time to office work and to wondering why did they not have a better office than some other fellow.
If a man does not desire to work, it is very unlikely that he will apply for a
position, for it is pretty well understood that a man in the Ford plant
works.
If men are unhampered and know that they are serving, they will always put all of mind and will into even the most trivial of tasks.
Work is our sanity, our self respect, our salvation.
Policy is to reduce price, extend operations and improve the product, the price reduction coming first. Believe that lowering price increases sales, so more people can have the item and more jobs. Would rather higher sales on lower margins than lower sales on higher margin.
No costs are fixed. First work out price that will get higher sales, then try and produce for that price. Do not worry about costs, new price forces costs down. If first take costs to determine the price, then people just produce it for that price. No one knows what the costs ought to be, have to name a price so low it forces everyone to the highest level of efficency. The low price makes everyone dig for profits. They make more discoveries about production and selling under this method than by any method of leisurely investigation.
Everything and everybody must produce or get out.
Get rid of every statistic and order blank that do not help in the production of a car. Do not want any done because they are interesting.
Can make things for an impossibly low price by eliminating waste, not by lowering wages or playing with financial concepts.
Everyone must be productive or get out, if person’s job no longer required, they are offered a different one in the company. Need to really bore into the business.
Producing more than one item leads to more departments and scattered production, which tends to be more wasteful. Best to produce a single product.
Need to watch efficiency of production, not just the money.
Lowering prices is a way to build the business.
Being economic and not using things is a waste, everything was given to us to use.
•People who limit how much they can have and enjoy become shrivelled, body and soul. They waste their body and the juices of life.
There is the waste of riotous living.
The waste of not doing anything and so rotting away.
Better to invest than save, then stuff is being used.
Waste is another term for misuse.
Use is positive, active, life giving, alive and adds to the sum of good.
Money has no more wealth than people put into it by production, can be so superstitiously worshipped as real wealth that destroys it’s value altogether.
Need a sound system built on service.
Nobody can get more out of life, than they can produce, but everyone thinks they can. Everyone wants more.
Is about people becoming self reliant and not dependent on charity.
Most people fail because they allow themselves to be beaten by the natural difficulties that attend any kind of effort. They say that they are beaten before having finished the task. So do not see if their vision will really work as they have not implemented it.
Most people fail as they not stick at it doing it, not because of lack of wisdom, brilliance, or money.
People see another person’s success at the same thing and it appears easy, when it was very very hard. Failure is easy to achieve and success is hard.
Be self sufficient, taking charity and being coddled is a drug.
Whatever fortune or misfortune happens to you, you are a man and be a man which means you can achieve things.
Being self employed will show you what you really are inside, both good bits and things need to work on.
Need managers who run a company on common sense and according to changing circumstances. The managers cannot do this if hampered by rules, laws, government regulation and having to go for counsel, as this is not how a business can be run.
Bankers and lawyers do not know how to run a company so be careful of what they inflict on it, especially from their self interest.
Need to focus on maximum service at minimum cost, then a business will make money and improve.
Often lots of money can be saved by paying outstanding and new legal claims at once and on the facts, which makes lawyer costs very low. Without that can end up with huge cost of employing loads of lawyers.
Also be aware of un necessary accounting and red tape, normally only one person is needed to do this work for a huge organisation. This with the reduction of lawyers, can reduce an organisation’s costs by 40%.
Everyone in the organisation must be of the mindset that it is a service and that sorts everything out in the business.
Any problems that customers have such as delays are criticisms of work and must be investigated, not defended by lawyers and so on.
The business needs to be run by practical people with practical experience in the industry. Not by bankers, people who are interested in procedure, or where interest is financial and not the practical work of that particular industry.
Throwing money at a badly run business, or management team is just fuelling it to continue going in that same way.
Businesses often do not see themselves as being there for serving the customers, but being there for the benefit of themselves. As a result they make jobs go round as many people, departments as possible and take as long as possible, so everyone gets a piece of the profit.
Get rid of all titles and offices unless required by law. Rigid organisation means messages have to go up certain lines of authority and no person expected to do anything without explicit orders from a superior.
Needs to be about personal responsibility and not the habit of waiting for orders, men must not be scared of taking responsibility because may get blamed if get it wrong. They should be blamed for not taking responsibility and initiative.
No overtime pay, if finishes job early then does something else. If works more time then takes time off at future day. No extra money for working over.
It is one of God’s compensations to withdraw prosperity from a business that does not serve.
Reducing the amount charging for the product or service, always means that get more business.
Should always be interested in every search for useful new knowledge.
Need a broad vision and understanding, be able to see past your area of knowledge and know that it cannot solve, or be the best solution for everything.
Do not recognise any limitations, or that anything is impossible. The ‘impossible’ is only stuff that do not yet have the knowledge to do.
It is about teaching people to be self sufficient, self supporting, learning to help themselves. Work on improving the people in the country, not the country itself. Then there can be the greatest and richest trading between parties.
Every person has a natural distinct strain of genius of which no other person can cheat it. Need to work from a person’s natural speciality and not grabbing things which promotes war. This must be done as a service, which will leads to universal self respect and peace.
( Henry Ford expressed this as countries, but i think it works for people as well)
Every person has a natural distinct strain of genius of which no other person can cheat it. Need to work from a person’s natural speciality and not grabbing things which promotes war. This must be done as a service, which will leads to universal self respect and peace.
( Henry Ford expressed this as countries, but i think it works for people as well)
Thinking is the hardest work anyone can do, which is probably the reason we have so few thinkers.
True education is gained through the discipline of life.
Great piles of knowledge in the head, is not the same as mental activity of finding things out for oneself, which is far more satisfying.
Past learning must not hinder future learning, thinking that we know it all. There is so much more for mankind to learn, knowledge to be gained, secrets yet to discover.
What can you do to help and heal the world is the real test, just gathering knowledge for it’s own sake is useless. A man may not be knowledgeable on everything, but when he is master of his own sphere, whatever it may be, he has won his degree, he has entered the realm of wisdom.
Bosses must do all they can to help their workers and that is part of being a well organised society. If a boss waits until they are compelled to help, they are a blind boss which are a disease and union leaders are the antedote.
Need to be wide awake to reorganise for efficient production
Honest enough to charge necessary costs and no more.
If company finds way to do job with one less person, such a company is normally enterprising enough to find a job for that tenth person, bound to grow and growth means more jobs.
A company that grows and creates more jobs and opportunities for people to make a good living, is one where every worker does a day’s work that they are proud of.
A well run company is always looking to lower costs to the public. So although that results in less people being needed for a production process, that kind of company will grow and so will create more jobs.
It is easier for lazy management to hire new people to do new work, than improve methods so existing people can be released to do it. This makes things less efficient and so goods more expensive to the consumer. Especially common when business is booming.
A person recognising that the absence of reason is never made good by the use of violence, will lead them to get from others prestige and respect of their opinions and desires.
Make no attempt to coddle workers, it is a give and take arrangement. More salery for workers results in them being supervised more.
Only deal with own workers and not outside union representatives.
Social spirit cannot be created from nice words, lectures, propoganda and bulletins which do nothing. Only acts, sincerely done of real things, that cost the management something and benefit all, do anything. Only this shows good intentions and builds respect.
A business that provides income for so many babies, children, parents, adults and so on is a sacred thing. Greater than the importance of any one person.
Employees want a boss they can trust to steer the business and not endanger their security. They do not judge him by his title, but the size of the payroll that comes to them from the activities of the business.
Harmony from a common purpose, honestly believed in and genuinely desired is good. Hiring workers just because they harmonise means there will be no progress, (he said it was because needs to be competition and thrust and counter thrust of real life. I think more positive if is that progress comes from people creating things and these creating people will always have differing opinions.)
People who are so soft and flabby, have to ‘have an atmosphere of good feeling’ and fail in business and as characters. They do not have enough mental and moral hardiness, like their bones are not strong enough to stand on their own two feet.
Be careful not to work with people because you like them, this does not mean they are the best at the job. The best at the job maybe someone you dislike.
Thinking things are ‘good enough’, hinders progress.
Be careful not to work with people because you like them, this does not mean they are the best at the job. The best at the job maybe someone you dislike.
Thinking things are ‘good enough’, hinders progress.
Having surplus stuff like excess money is pointless, a person can only live in 1 room at a time, eat same quantity and quality of food, be warmed by so much clothing.
However if has visions of service, to make an industrial desert bloom like a rose. Then work-a-day life, blossoms into fresh and enthusiastic human motives of higher character and human efficiency. Then money is like seeds which creates a rich harvest, which can be selfishly confined no more than the sun’s rays can.
Hoarding money does not give a person power.
Moving money from one class to another cannot cure the world’s ills.
Business is easy or hard, depending upon how skilled or lacking skill a person displays at production and distribution.
Business is there for service, not profit.
Most faults in business are caused by the moral constitution in business. Once ethics in business are universally recognised, it will be seen as one of the oldest and most useful of all the professions.
All that Ford did was to evidence by works, that service comes before profit and the sort of business that makes the world better for it’s presence is a noble profession. Success was earned by unremitting labour and faith in principle. It is impossible to avoid making a much larger profit, than if profit were the main object.
The new is always thought of as odd, some can never get over thinking that a new thing is odd and probably not right and shady.
Poverty cannot be abolished by formula, only by hard and intelligent work.
All their work is done by:
1, Not fear the future or venerate the past. One who fears the future, fears failure, then limits their activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again. No disgrace in honest failure, only disgrace in fearing to fail. The past is only useful as suggests ways and means for progress.
2, Disregard competition. Whoever does the thing the best, ought to be the one to do it. It is criminal to try and get business away from a fellow man, as then trying to for personal gain, lower the conditions of one’s fellow men, to rule by force instead of intelligence.
3, Putting service before profit. Without a profit, business cannot extend. There is nothing wrong about making a profit, well conducted business enterprises cannot help but make a profit, but profit must and inevitability will come from good service. Profit cannot be the basis, it must be the result of good service.
4, Manufacturing is not buying low and selling high. It is buying materials fairly and with the smallest possible additional cost, transforming those materials into a consumable product abd distributing it to the consumer. Gambling, speculating and sharp dealing only clog this progression.
It is the spirit behind it that matters most, a real desire to be of service from which follows production which is a service. Artificial rules and laws set up by finance and industry, break down frequently.
People so wrapped up with what they are doing, but need to look at reasons why doing them.
Henry Ford
Winning must come from improvement of product, excel at service, improve scientific methods of production. Must not come from damaging rivals and other parties, this benefits no one. The negative ways of trying to monopolise the market and crowd out others comes from a desire for money.
When the market collapses for an asset in your business, look for other markets that can use it. If demand for corn as food dries up, maybe can be used as fuel.
Interest collecting, credit controlling financiers own all the money and the machinery bough with it.
Advancement is not easy, the higher a person goes, the more responsibility and the harder the job. After a person has worked hard they have a right to and will get some comfortable and pleasant ease, but not before. Of course intelligent and tools should be used to make the job as easy as possible.
A man’s real work is what he is chosen to do by God (not other men), not what he chooses for himself to do.
People do not object, to work itself. They object to if a work is:
•so heavy it saps their strength
•drudgery and monotiny
A job may seem menial, but what matters is that it useful, respectable and honest.
Systems need to be tightened up, remove haphazard will of the individual. This is to reduce waste and losses due to mediocrity, to prevent an individual who does not care from doing their worst.
By making it necessary for a don’t care person to do better than they naturally would, it is for their benefit. They are better off financially, psychologically and physically. Also if those people were trusted to their own methods and speed of production, everyone would have lower saleries.
Must have great brains involved in every operation in the factory, these are not the people at the machine, but those working out the production techniques. Better brains means it is a better production technique, no system operates itself.
To get promoted a person has to do the routine work and still stay alive and alert. A growing company will have new job opportunities but need to be patient for when they come. Big businesses grow slowly and cautiously and the person needs to have shown that they are dependable and reliable. So even most ambitious person needs to allow time for things to happen.
The spirit of true service creates things for the creator, a person just has to do it sincerely.
ready8 Business Leave a comment July 11, 2013 27 MinutesWomens’ grudges against their boyfriendsAs genetically women are less strong than man, they have compensated for this by being more persistent. A woman will hold out far far longer than a man will.
If a woman want a man to jump out of a window, the man should just make sure he is on the ground floor, because eventually it will happen.
This goes on to an issue called the grudge list.
This grudge list, is a list of things that have annoyed the woman and that she thinks are unfair and eventually the man at some future time will pay for it.
Women like it to be that the man loves and support them as loves them so much, so spends all that time and money on them. Anything that does not go to towards this, is seen as a waste and so it goes on the grudge list.
They may be fine if a man does things that makes the man happy, but that is only to make the man happy in order to better self them. An example maybe a man going to watch football, it will make the man happy so she will be fine with this as a happier man will then be better at serving the woman.
However for example with present buying for the lady, let’s say a man spends money on something she does not want and the man should know better, she will be unhappy at this waste of stuff not going to her wants.
Examples of things that make you go on the grudge list:
The lady needs a laptop and may even ask for one. So the man spends £600 pounds on one, but she would have been fine with it £200 pound laptop, because most ladies don’t care about computers. Most ladies value and want pretty things like jewellery and so the man has wasted £400 pounds as it is what the man is interested in but not what she wanted.
People are never thankful for getting what they need, they are thankful for what they want. You may know they need it, but they will not be thankful if it is something they did not want.
2, If a man is watching television and asks his girlfriend if it is okay, the lady may say that it is okay, but it is not as she wants him to spend time with her. As women are not about for force and strength, they may not say that they are not okay with it, but will put it on grudge list for gently making the man pay for it later.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment July 10, 2013 2 MinutesEntrepreneurFind out what customer wants and deliver it quickly.
David Goldman founder of Sage software always demonstrated outstanding judgment in the face of surrounding skepticism. Whilst never underestimating the need for sound financial planning and the constant assessment of risk, David Goldman believed that being an entrepreneur meant constantly recognising and exploiting new opportunities.
Motivation for being an entrepreneur
1, Money: the person taking the risk is the person that owns the business. They get the profit from the entreprise.
2, Independence: the entrepreneur is often a person who would like to do what they think is right and should do. Not just be told what to do and have to do it, compromise what they want to do, because of what their boss says, hit management’s targets etc . The entrepreneur would like freedom to do what day would like to do and think they should do.
This can also be because the entrepreneur has certain talents, skills, reason to be and mission and they need this freedom to fulfil that. They need this freedom so they can be true to themselves.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment July 9, 2013 1 MinuteManagementService
A good manager serves staff all that they can, the manager is focused on creating and serving.
The manager also expects their staff to do the same.
It is a bit like how when are nice to other people, they are nice to you.
If a manager is nasty to people, they will want revenge on that manager which includes doing a bad job.
Treat people with love and respect.
Trusting, valuing and believing in people means that they can achieve a lot.
Often when go to a business and receive bad customer service from the staff, it is often because the managers were rude to the staff.
If the manager is nice to a person and they do not want to be nice back, then of course they are not the people should be employed and working with. The idea is that you do all you can for them and they do all they can for you.
This means the person really does do a good job, not that they smile to you sweetly, but are not actually great at the job.
It is all about giving and service to the staff.
The managers who are the best, are just nice to people because it is the right thing, not even expecting anything in return. This creates a real feeling, reality and depth to it all. This is about being nice in every way, including what gives and does, not just about what say to people.
Efficiency
You must be horrified by waste in the businesses, it could be too many people, how work is done, what is purchased etc.
It is best done by seeking the reduction of materials used in producing the finished product and the human effort.
Also inventory is a huge cost of any business where there is stock, so inventory should be seen as bad.
Waste is normally caused by not understanding what the businesses does and how it does it.
Bad performers
Bad performers lower moral, because good performers and those who work hard, see that person doing a bad performance and is getting away with it, so why should they work hard.
This can be people who just do not care, or are just not up to it and should be doing a different job at another place.
Also the best people care about being the places that do the best work, so their morale will be lowered by such behaviour and they may leave for a winning company.
It is even worse for a good person, if they have to continually do more work to sort out the mistakes a bad person has made and management does not recognised this.
It can be a hassle for the manager to get rid of this bad person, also if they are malevolent it can be even harder.
The manager may leave it because they’re getting away with it, but it will cause problems and especially other could staff to leave. It
It must be dealt with immediately and as soon as you do the team will improve.
Bullies
People must rise because they do a good job, not because they manage to push other people around.
A bully will quickly pollute the culture of an organisation like putting a small drop of red ink in water.
This needs the manager to be strong and get rid of this disease quickly, before it spreads and grows. Some other people will start to copy, or even follow this person, because bullies try to control other people and take over.
So left unchecked the bully will think they can get away with it and others will see that they are correct and follow them. The longer you let them get away with it, the longer you are teaching them that it is okay. Then it grows from being a small problem, to a very big one.
The best people will leave because they want to work in places that are nice to be in, where people get things from good performance and not from bullying others.
These good people can easily get jobs elsewhere because they are good.
The bullies will take over, the business will die, because it will have been destroyed by bad people.
Producing Great Products and Services
Producing great products and services is a great way of motivating staff. Management should help workers do great work with policies and training that help staff create great things that workers can be proud of.
This also helps attract the best staff, because they want to work in the best place that produces the best things, so they can show off what they make.
Good Managers
Help people all they can
Set an example
Give a vision and show the direction to go
Reward and punishment
Let people get on with it and give them as much freedom as possible so they can create.
communicate with staff and be aware what is going on.
Give staff information as the transparency gains trust. Also so they know what is really going on in the business. This is so they can be involved and act in accordance with what is really going on in the business.
The biggest one is to set an example, the effect of which over rides everything you may say to them.
Companies that achieve greatness
The Michelin guide looks for:
1st: quality
2nd: originality
3rd: consistency
This blogger advises:
For quality a person needs to spend loads of time doing just one product type and getting better and better at their trade. They never achieve perfection. Be constantly watchful of how it is produced and consumed, question everything.
For originality a person needs to be true to themselves and not just copy others, that is the only way.
Consistency is to ensure no one gets a bad service, but make sure do not pull down anything that is better than anything that less good to achieve this.
Situations where managers need to be tough
the customer will go elsewhere if they are not happy and so there is no confrontation for them. However the manager has to fire staff if they are not good enough and many staff will hate the manager for that.
Some staff will try and take over and the manager cannot let people do that by force and not by merit.
Staff may think the manager is wrong, but the manager is ultimately in charge, is meant to be the one who knows best and is ultimately responsible. So the manager must do what they believe is right. So the manager must be able to cope with people disagreeing with them. Part of making a choice means some people will disagree with him.
Training and education
A business cannot go anywhere unless it invests in talent. This is not just finding the best people, but also training them.
A business has the best staff because they are the best trained. This means they will have a real feel, ability, knowledge and understanding of the business and how to do it.
If a business just tries to hire staff from other companies that have been trained by other companies, as it does not want to do the training itself and does not train them itself. It always ends up being a business that never really gets big and prospers.
The great companies with worldwide reputations are those that customers really want to go to, are those that have amazing people because they are amazingly trained. An example would be Goldman Sachs, customers want to go to them because their staff are so amazingly trained.
Yes you may stay train staff and they leave, but there are risks and losses with any investment. However if a company wants to be great, it has to do this big investment.
By training staff how to run the business, they may steal the business model and do the same thing elsewhere, but without this training, there will be no business and so nothing to steal.
Other things
The best managers are leaders, not collaborators (although they still put a lot of time and energy into listening to other people).
Do not let things go, others may not want to change and do it, but a good manager does not let these things go to ensure the organisation is the best.
Need to be a good communicator.
Not too much of a strong opinion of themselves and ego, this distances them from their staff and from their customers. Never take yourself too seriously!
Aware of the way if the world today.
Essential to pay attention to detail.
Knowing what is going on in a business
Needs just 5 or less key performance indicators.
Also to measure how a staff member is doing needs 5 or less key performance indicators.
You can get more details which give more information, but then as it is more complicated:
● mistakes creep in
●the people who are meant to use the results cannot work it out, or be bothered to use them.
●people cannot create the reports and develop them as are so complicated
So need to get figures that really are central so are affected by all the other factors around them.
For example:
●How long average customer stays
●How happy customers are
●profit
●revenue growth
●bad debt level
Then if can add all the 5 figures into one figure, people can see with one number, how they are doing compared to other times and people.
This is essential to make business a fun game. There is little point playing bowling, if a sheet is in front of the pins cannot see them drop and get a score of how doing. Very hard and boring for a person to drive a car, if cannot see out of screen to see results of what happens when they turn the steering wheel.
Setting an example
A person can do or say whatever they like as a manager.
However if they themselves do the right thing, thers will do the right thing.
If the manager does the wrong thing, then it does not matter what they say, others will do the wrong thing.
When others would like to do the wrong thing, the manager can say what they do to themselves. Their own honest, decent and human example, done with humanity, is more powerful than anything else.
The manager needs to spend some of their time doing the job with the staff. This is so staff see how to do the job, they are not above doing the job, it is all about doing the job.
Stay calm
Stay calm, do not panic
I Know it’s hard sometimes, but when you are calm, the people you are managing feel more secure.
For employed staff, security and job security is a big thing, without this they will leave.
The more insecure staff feel, the more they panic and worry about their plight. Then their time, energy and focus is used up with this and they cannot so proper work with good judgement.
It also means that the person makes rational decisions, having really thought and investigated things. Not just reacted to things without thought or judgement.
Power
Many people when they get promoted get seduced by power, it goes to the heads. They become nasty and bullying. As a result they quickly have to be removed from their positions.
Just like in a prison, the staff under the manager want freedom and not to be controlled.
A manager should use their power over staff as little as possible. If a person has a manager that uses their power over them, it is not nice for the workers.
As a result the staff members will want to leave, also the revenge for them doing this leads to revenge and uses up goodwill with the worker.
The worker knows the manager can sack them, tell them what to do and there is no need to show it off.
As long as the lines have been drawn and the workers have been told as gently as possible from the beginning what the lines are and those lines are enforced if needed, then there is no need to go over it again.
So a manager should point the direction, standards needed, where needed show how it should be done and then leave them alone.
The manager should check the work and what they are doing, but as little as possible. This can often be done more by the manager offering the person a bit of help, doing the job with them, of course the manager will see what is going on at the same time.
This reduces how the manager is taking from the staff member, by checking their work wanting things from them. It makes it more that they are helping the staff member to do things.
Staff want freedom, but also to be protected. So if a manager gives them this, but makes a staff member accountable, then the staff can just get on with it.
Many managers give orders and push their weight around as they want the power.
It is nicer for a staff member if a manager asks them if they can please do something and the staff member has a choice. Of course the staff member knows if they do not do it, there is no job for them, but no need to emphasise what they already know.
Also most decisions do not really matter, so the manager can leave the decisions that do not matter to the staff. The manager just gets involved in the important ones, this means the manager sets the general direction. An example would be a decision for if the uniforms are red or blue, that does not really matter; but if staff may choose something where a customer is going to be ripped off and so the staff are going to choose the wrong choice, that does matter.
A good manager hires the best people, sets the underlying values, direction, industry etc. for a company. Then from those fundamental principles, the staff will know which direction to go in.
Getting the best decisions
A manager needs ‘every brain the game’, staff will see things that you do not. They will be right on things when the manager is wrong.
“Constructively debating tough issues and getting somewhere is only possible when people can speak their minds without fear of punishment.” Andy Grove.
For this to work, it needs to be that people discuss, debate and the idea that is right that wins.
It cannot be acceptable for a person to win an argument with aggression. Be it psychological, emotional, tone of voice etc.
this means that the most strong person wins, not the best idea. It will also put off more quiet people, shyer and those with less good communication skills from saying things and they can have the best ideas.
The head manager listens asks for and listens to all ideas.
The manager needs to really ask staff what they think, be fine with them disagreeing and not just do the idea because it is their own. The manager needs to choose the idea that is the best.
Respects each person’s opinion.
Knows that if everyone thinks the same thing, then each person is not honestly looking at things for themselves, thinking for themselves and saying what they really think.
At the end decides what they think is right.
The head manager admits he could have taken the wrong decision, he could be wrong and the people with the suggestion he currently thinks is wrong, could be right.
To do this the manager has to have the right intentions to just do the right thing and not just glorify themselves. This means not just wanting people to flatter him or her and be able to cope with the friction of people having ideas that are different or honestly thinking that the manager is wrong,
However of course the head manager has to make the final call as to what is done because they are responsible for the outcome.
The best manager listens to all views, but in the end takes responsibility for making the decision once has heard them all.
Ultimately what wins is not what staff think is best, but what the customer will buy and in reality is what will work.
The staff can think it is best to make a bridge out of paper instead of steel, does not mean that is the truth.
Treating like adults
A film director of the 1976 movie Bugsy Malone managed to get the 13 year old actors and actresses to produce the acting quality work of adults. He did this by treating them as adults.
Treat staff as children and they will behave like children.
Treat them like adults and they will behave like adults. If they cannot do that then they should not be employed by yourself.
It needs to be that staff are expected to take responsibility which is of course the adult thing to do. If the manager does not do this, then the staff will not and so will be behaving like children.
Impartial
Need to hire the people who perform best and are the most honest.
Need to get rid of people who do not work.
This must be totally separate to friends and family. This is especially a massive issue in businesses with friends and family in.
Need to be impartial to who is nice to you and sucks up to you.
Business is business and needs to be separate to those things.
Only by the best person getting to the top and being employed on merit, will a business be able to succeed.
The customer buys the best product and service and this is what enables the company to produce products and services.
Demonstrating power and authority
Staff staff know that you can sack them, they know you are the manager.
Showing this off with status symbols, bossing them around and so on may lift you up, but also makes them feel small.
So just being nice to people gets the best results and not just showing off and demonstrating that you are the boss.
There are managers who are weak and ineffective, because when someone does something wrong, they do not do anything about it such as disciplining the staff member or sacking them if needed. However this is about doing the right thing at the right time, not about being a nasty manager to people.
Getting the best people
In reality the businesses that do best of those with the best people, management is actually a secondary thing in just to make sure those people have not gone off the path.
The aim is to get the best people. Also those are people that also really want to do the work and so do not have to manage them.
It is a bit like in golf, how it needs the best player to win. If the person is not the best player, no systems or processes can change this.
Then once have someone really great, better than yourself. Should just get let them get on with it as otherwise you were getting in the way.
The only way to hire, is to find people better than yourself. If you are in a company meeting and are the smartest person in the room, then the company is in trouble.
As a manager, need to be that everybody else you hire in the team, is smarter than you.
The company only grows by each person having someone better than themselves
If each time a person hires someone else, hires someone less good than themselves as otherwise they feel threatened. The company shrinks in its capability each time it hires someone. Until the company is useless.
Steve Jobs said that A grade people, hire other A grade people.
B grade people, hire C grade people.
C grade people, hire C grade people.
As a result have to make sure only hire A grade people.
If a manager has useless people, they will be running around trying to sort out their mistakes. They deserve to be running around with everything falling apart, as they hide rubbish people.
The great manager has great people, so there is nothing left for them to do. These people are doing a better job than they can do.
It is very hard to find these people, they are about 1% of all workers. It is like how there arre many footballers in the world, but only a few of the winners. Your job is to find the best golfer of footballer in the world.
So manager needs to be traveling the world finding the best people and this is the biggest and most important use of their time. Just finding talent.
Most people want to do as little work as possible, so just finding people that actually want to work and create is hard.
High standards
A manager needs to set standards of being the best.
The manager needs to focus on the customer and giving them insanely great products and services.
This is what is the target that make staff focus on and be measured by.
In communications, communicate the customer. Most staff will just look at their own conditions and what they want, not on the customers.
On average staff will do as little as possible, so have to set the bar very high, So staff get up to that level, or have to leave.
So if staff produce something that is not insanely great and the winner for customers, the manager has to communicate this to them, that sadly it is not good enough.
This needs to be done nicely, but one of the biggest barriers stopping in manager from doing this, is wanting to be liked.
This is normally caused by the manager’s insecurity, wanting to be friends with people he or she works with, get love from them, or the biggest of all is vanity.
Vanity means that he or she wants people they manage, to think he is great and be loved by them.
People managers often think it’s because they care about the staff and want them to feel good, sadly it is often just vanity.
A company becomes a great place to work, that people want to work at because it produces great things. This is what attracts the A grade people to want to work there.
A grade people care about what is produced and created, so producing anything less than A grade means the company is not going to attract and retain those people.
People who are not A grade, just do not care about these things.
Examples of great managers
Carlos Tavares turned around PSA Group
It has Renault, Peugeot, Citroen and then took over Opal car company, from them having massive loss to the best profits in the industry.
He cut about half the number of models, by cutting the under performing ones.
Cut the many car platforms down to two.
Move the head office from the centre of Paris to 8 miles out into the suburbs to cut costs.
Got workers on side by saying it was not that they were not working hard enough, they working really hard. Went up the body shop manager and asked him how he is adding value and what is return on investment is. The body shop manager had no idea, but that’s how they got back on form.
Told the staff that they had to get back into the race and every day they are competing.
Unions appreciated they had to make job cuts from this, but losing money and there’s no other way to stay open.
Staff got a massive bonus when business doing better, so was no need for Union to do anything.
Different distinct car models from different brands going down same production line, one after the other.
Each team member has to go the extra mile.
ready8 Management Leave a comment July 5, 2013 16 MinutesMorals in making moneyThe producer depends for his prosperity on serving people, if this is not done then people will find out that you are just self serving, you will loose goodwill and the end will be in sight.
Greed is often caused by short termism.
Being greedy for money is the surest way not to get it, but when you serve for God which means you are doing it for others and the right thing, then money takes care of itself.
Money comes from service and the point of money is to put it into more service. It is not to be used for helping people to be idle.
You must do things better than others and try to pass these on with better products, higher wages, donations to charities or other such projects, lower priced products or whatever the world needs. This is so that managers, workers, purchasers and suppliers and everyone connected with you, are better off for you having existed. The business will exist because it deserves to.
So you need to win in the marketplace by doing the job better, so you deserve to be the one doing it. Must never do negative things to try and deprive other businesses of their income, unless it is in self defence because they started it, or will start it.
ready8 Business Leave a comment July 4, 2013 1 MinuteMarketingThere are always enough people ready and anxious to buy, provided you sell what they want at the right price. Of course what people want changes according to time and place.
Sage software founder Mr. Goldman attached enormous importance to marketing in its true form, rather than, as it is often misunderstood to be – a fancy name for sales and advertising. He would define it as identifying your customers, assessing their need for a product or service and delivering it to them in a timely, cost-effective and profitable manner.
Status
Far more than whether people like a product or service, they buy it because it is a status symbol. A product is made a status symbol because:
it is expensive and other people know it is expensive.
other high status people own one, so it is part of that person’s status that the buyer wishes to acquire.
People often not admit this and just say buy because they like the product or service, this is often a lie because they do not want to admit this.
Social Groups
Also a particular group of people may own such a car and so other people buy it as their way of joining that group. For example a particular car may be seen right for rock stars, criminals, architects and so on. Each type of person buys the car they think gains them entrance to that group, they have seen other people of that type and group owns that product or service.
So the purchase of a product or service is a social issue. It is for joining a certain group and gaining status in society.
Talents
An entrepreneur should run a business, where they themselves have talent and understanding of that business. For example there is no point in them running a technology, or fashion business, if they have no understanding, talent and interest in those things.
Everybody has a talent for something.
Delighting customers
Businesses with delighted customers grow remarkably quickly. This is because word-of-mouth from customers who are super happy from your service is huge and they really engage with the product or service.
Also staff get turned on by how delighted the customers are and it becomes part of the business’s culture to do it more.
Personal touches such as handwritten letters, personal conversations and meetings, low prices and many other things above and beyond what the customer will normally get from other places, will delight them.
Quality drives value, which creates profit margins
People will buy something because it gives them value, they are getting the most from what they spend.
So need to make sure there is quality in the product for what the customers pay. If the market segment is for cheapest price, then needs to be good quality for that low price.
So products are made from good materials, work well, with the best service for that price etc.
Once people get great value for what they spend, they will come back in future and that is where the profits are.
Also value means people will pay for it, more people will buy it, they may also pay more for it and that is where the profits margins are.
Getting demand for your product
‘Get loads of demand for your products, by making really good products. All the successful founders are a little too obsessed with making the product good. As they are fanatics, they do things customers do not even know about.
The people in the company need to care too much and then get details amazingly right. Then when a customer looks at the details it is amazing. Also the customers do not get problems which they will also then talk about to others.
They are fanatics about the product.’
a summary of stuff said by Paul Graham.
Entertaining and fun
Some products do not make it because they are boring and some products succeed because they are exciting and fun.
Even a really fun product like a music player, could be boring if it does not have great art, design, marketing, advertising, songs, decor, glamour, etc. as part of its marketing.
People will walk past the vegetable aisle in the supermarket as they see them as boring and go to the sweets, Coca Cola etc.
Most people have boring and dull lives and want to be entertained.
Why people can fail at marketing
An entrepreneur looks are what makes money.
They are not interested for their own sakes what it is, what it looks like, if it is beautiful, fun and so on.
An entrepreneur can quite happily change to doing something else, such as an entirely different business if that will make more money.
They are interested in if they will make money doing it. Their interest is in making money.
What to provide
The entrepreneur must look at what the customer wants, look at that in great detail.
Then as a second stage look at this apply to see if it can be done profitably. For example, customers may want steel, but if there are loads of companies out there supplying it, more than there is a demand for, it may not be profitable.
What stops company providing what customer wants
When an entrepreneur looks at the following first, they will not win, because they will not build what the customer wants.
1, what they themselves would like to and would enjoy building
2, how they would like to work and operate, because it is best for themselves
3, how they believe the world should work and what customers should be doing, even if customers do not want to do that.
These things do matter, or the entrepreneur will not be happy doing the job, but first the entrepreneur has to first win by giving the customers what they want. Otherwise the entrepreneur’s company will not exist because a rival company will do what customer’s want and the 3 things above will not happen at all.
When the entrepreneur looks are what they themselves would enjoy making and would like to make, it must not be something that they are completely bored by and have no interest in, or they will not be motivated what able to do it. However in the main they just make what makes money, then separately from the business in their own time, they make what they would enjoy to make.
If they start merging what makes money and what they would like to make into one product or service, these compromises mean it is neither a business that makes money and also ultimately not what they want to make. So the businessman must focus on making money, so that in their spare time they can make what they want to make and have their hobbies.
Pride of authorship which is a cause of this can creep in, in ways the entrepreneur may not see. If the entrepreneur is the person that created the logo for the branding and they want to have that because it is what they made. They are not impartial as they are proud of what they made. However as a business person have to do what makes money regardless if you made it.
People also treating a business like it is their baby causes similar problems. As they do what they can to look after the baby, which may not be providing the customer and aligning the business with what the customer wants.
So the businessman focuses on what makes money, not ostentation, showing off, getting credit for their work, showing off, etc.
You are selling solutions
When when people are looking for a product, they are are looking for the one that will solve their problem and they are most convinced it will do so.
Often a firm is selling different solutions that contains the same content and work in the same way. However customers are looking at the solution and what it will do for them.
I was working with a relatively large cleaning chemicals manufacturer that sells on their website everything from stone cleaner, general-purpose cleaner, car cleaner, and so on.
It’s all the same product in the bottle.
However, users want to have a product just for their precise situation. When they come to the site directly, they want to find and get the product, which is the exact type of cleaning they want.
They tried telling people it’s all the same products, and it did not work, that route would have let to them losing clients to rivals and going bankrupt.
Cleaning products have acid, alkaline, and non-ionic surfactants which reduce surface tension to break things like oil down. That’s it. They are all the same.
Cleaning materials can also have limescale removing component, aggravating bits in like Cif has, banking soda and disinfectant, also colors and fragrances to help sell them. However, that does not take away from the central concept.
People want what is specific to them, which is what niches and carving up sectors of a market is all about. They go to the answer that most exactly matches their situation and problem without having to extract a concept from one albeit very similar situation which also applies to theirs, as they will choose elsewhere for that which has already done this for them.
Which is why medicines with the same ingredients are often sold in different boxes, one box for each problem a customer may have.
People are buying solutions, whether it’s in the form of information, tools, services, products and so on.
A kitchen cleaning product is saying it is the solution for cleaning kitchens, not a list of its ingredients.
People will sell books on how to stop smoking, or how to lose weight.
A saying is ‘sell a good night’s sleep, not the mattress’
Steve Jobs says that Nike does not say about how good their trainers are in their ads, they honor great athletics and athletes.
You are selling people hopes and dreams
Whatever type of business or industry you are in, you are in the business of selling people hopes and dreams. That is how you sell and market products, it’s about the emotion.
Of all the things that happen in business and marketing, that’s the bit you can control.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment July 4, 2013 7 MinutesWhy younger women want older men1, Many women have told me that men still look sexually attractive when they are older, even men in their sixties and so on still look very attractive. Sadly most women do not look so sexually attractive when they get older and in that way do not age so well. This is an average though and not a hard and fast rule.
2, Men when they get older are more mature and experienced so know more about women, how to make them happy sexually in bed and how to do a relationship. Older men are also more mature and so adult for chatting about relationships, families and so on with.
In the elephant world the young lady elephants want the older male elephants to mate with, as they are more sexually experienced and know what they are doing. They know more than the young males that have no experience and do not know what they are doing. It is the male that leads so this is important to them.
3, Older men are more experienced so can look after them, younger men are more juvenile so cannot even look after themselves so well, let alone look after them. Some younger women find men their age immature company and people to be with. They can also behave like idiots.
Men generally take longer to become more grown up and women do this earlier, hence younger women often want an older man. Of course a man can still be juvenile when they are in their fifties so this is just an average.
4, Older men also tend to be more financially established and this does matter to them. Women do want powerful authoritative men, this is an aphrodisiac and older men often are more established in their careers and have this
5, For women who are under 40 so want to have a family, younger men tend to be less ready and mature to have a family. Women have a biological clock for when they can have children so do not want to waste their time. They find that younger men are good for fun as they have more energy, but no good for settling down and having a family.
6, Women do not want to go out with a man who is younger than them. They feel this man will not be more mature than them to be able to look after them and protect them.
7, Sadly money is a big thing for most women and if a man is rich they will go out with him even if he is much older although normally they still have to like him to some degree to do this.
Other things
If a lady feels that a man is much older so that socially they have nothing in common they also will not want to go out with him.
Of course when a woman gets much older they do not want an ‘old man’, who they will literally have to look after and will not be able to look after them.
Many women feel that if the man is much older than them, socially they will be too different to get on and relate to each other. Often the older man can choose to act and behave in a younger way, so the younger lady wants him. However this is quite a big life choice for the older man to do all the time he is with her. Also history is full of older man who died of heart attacks and so on, keeping up with their younger lady.
Be careful, just like a woman may date an older man for his money, they may just be with him for long enough to get a divorce settlement, even ensuring they have as many children as possible with him to ensure a great settlement and ongoing money.
Women, especially when nearer the age when it is harder for them to have children, will often marry a man that they are not attracted to, or know is the right match for them. They do this as they want to have children quickly before their time runs out, then will divorce him once they have had children.
Their second marriage after this where they do not want to have more children tends to be better, because they go out with the man who is right for them and not just because they want to have children quickly before their biological clock runs out.
ready8 Dating advice for men Leave a comment July 3, 2013 3 MinutesKnow yourselfThis is needed to progress, you need to see the truth of yourself and situation.
The biggest challenge is to just look and see yourself impartially.
A person tends to be partial by thinking that they are great and the best.
The hardest thing is to be honest with yourself, the ego will make all kinds of lies to cover up the bare bones and shame of what you really are. It is so hard to face and live with what you have done wrong and are doing wrong.
The ego seeks to think that we are great, it is how it gets pleasure that it seeks.
It does not want to think that we are rubbish, okay, no better than others or the rest of reality. It does not want to any criticism, even if it is constructive criticism and necessary truth about reality, it just sees it as an attack.
If we are told anything that disproves our view, belief or way of doing something. That view, belief ir way is us, so it is an atrack on ourself. So even if it is better that we are doing something in line with reality, it is still an attack on the ego.
The ego thinks that by seperating ourselves away from the rest of the world, we can be better than the rest of the world, but in truth we are one with all.
The ego will do anything not to change, including will lie to us to try and get us to think other things. It seeks pride and pleasure from thinking how great I am and what I have is. This is done by thinking we are better than others.
You have to look at yourself impartially.
You can look at yourself in the mirror, look at your eyes, face, body and so on.
For example if you are honest you may see a lonely man of despair about a certain failing in his life, just like the honesty you would see if you saw someone in a pub who does not know that anyone is looking at them and you do not really know.
When you chat with someone, they put their show on, which is their mask and that is their ego.
Try looking at yourself in the mirror, but instead of doing it out of vanity to con yourself into how great you are, or only dwelling on your good points. Do it to see the real.
Once you say ‘the real you’, it becomes ego and the selfish ego of saying how great you are comes in. Look at the real world, but not term it as you. It just is the one world as it is, without any regard for sides if I, mine, his, her’s.
Look in the mirror at your face as you would look at someone else that is not you, or in your team or group. The kind of person you do not get benefit from, so there is no I, my friend or my relationship which could make you hype up to yourself how great YOUR friend or person in YOUR team is.
Like a person you see across a room or at the other side of the street. Looking at the world as a whole, without reflection on I, mine and me territory.
The art is to put the energy at really looking at the world, not doing the ego stuff of thinking about I, me and mine !!!!!!
Most people are just dreaming about having things such as THEIR power, respect, attention, status, sex and money. Their only reason for being is the pleasure and joy they get from dreaming about such things. As a result they are not truly looking at reality.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment July 2, 2013 3 MinutesSocial skills (talking)When chatting with most people
To be successful chatting with other people, just be interested in the other person, listen to and watch them
They then think that they the are the ones talking, you are the one listening and so they feel they are the clever one and are in control.
People want to be noticed and acknowledged, they think about the clever things they have said and how they have been received. Not what other people have said.
Often they also want to compete and be the cleverest, funniest and so on person. If you compete with them and you are better than they are, they will feel different to you, inferior and hate you. If you are less good than them, they will not be able to relate to you and not find you interesting. So want to be as good as they are, to be a peer and a friend.
To be good socially, it is about letting the other person talk and acknowledging, respecting and having affection for how clever and brilliant they are.
If you talk about yourself, you are taking away from that and in relative terms they feel smaller.
When you get to that magic point where they are just talking about themselves and what they are interested in, then the other person will be happy and can go on and on, especially as they know about themselves and what they are interested in.
To help do this, you have to really listen to the other person to find out what they are really interested in, their passions and what makes them special. Then they can start talking about it and you can listen as you are interested. Also listening is important so that you can ask them questions to help this .
People are normally not interested in what other people have to say, such as for example what you have to say. Unless it is things about what other people have done, which shows how crap other people are and so in relative terms makes them feel better about how they are.
When most people talk about themselves and what they have done, it is normally to get attention and show how great they are.
If you just listen, do not say anything except ask questions because they think you are interested, impressed by them and what they have to say, people will think:
that you understand what they are saying, even if you do not. The fact that you are listening will mean they presume you understand. If what they are saying is complicated, they will even be impressed that you understand.
that you agree with them, and so like you because they think you have the same views and opinions as them, even if you do not.
People like people who they think have the same views as them because they think they are the like them. People hate and feel uncomfortable with people who they think have different views to them.
When chatting with advanced people
When chatting with an advanced person you will get the feeling that they are really genuinely interested in you. They are not talking about themselves and how great they are.
Advanced people want to learn, advance and progress. As a result they want to listen so that they can learn things and they know that them talking gets in the way of that. They want to listen to everybody, because even the biggest idiots every so often have something you can learn from.
Advanced people get what they need, do not go after more and do not want more. They need to be around other people, as humans are social animals who go crazy if we are by ourselves for too long. However they do not need to be the most respected and powerful so have no desire to talk a lot.
People tell other people things for power, they do this in a way that they are telling them or trying to persuade what to think or do.
People also want respect so they talk about how great they and their achievements are.
People also talk for attention.
Advanced people only need power, respect and attention if it is needed in the service of others.
Advanced people realise that as most people are normally blabbering things of little importance, only 1% of things need them to comment. Even then they can say it in one short sentence, because they understand what they are saying, so can put it presicely and consicely.
An example might be that a conversation on the colour of a jumper does not really matter, but a conversation on if some people are going to be honest with a good person does matter.
As other people want to do what they want to do and also like to have power The advanced person knows that the more times they use their influence by requesting for something different from what other people want, the more they are using up favours, so they know to only use that up when it matters.
Other things
To be social and people to like you, always talk quietly, speaking loudly is aggressive.
Speaking quietly is soft and lovely. People will like you for it.
A person may speak loudly because they want to use aggression to control the other person like giving aggressive orders to a dog. The recipient if this will not like this.
Being aggressive to get people to do things is not good, needs to be that you do things so they want to be with you.
Even when you do talk, make sure:
●the other person wants you to talk
●you are talking about what they are interested in and want to hear. Otherwise you are talking at someone, when as a companion you should be talking with them.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment July 1, 2013 4 MinutesRelationship with GodServing God
Walk humbly with God.
A person must serve god, serving god means a person ends up doing the right thing, because god cares about the whole universe and its evolution. So by serving God, a person is doing the right thing for all.
This means a person must listen to god and do what they are told.
Many people do not accept God, because it means taking on duty to do the right thing and responsibility, as that is what God is about.
Loving and respecting God is not just good for God, it also means that the person does what God wants them to do in the world. As they love and respect God, they do what God would like them to do.
So by a person loving and respecting god, it changes the person and their behaviour.
Prayer changes the person praying, it does not change God.
A person’s well being
A sufi once said that a person is closer to God, than their own jugular.
A person’s relationship with God at any moment determines how they are.
People can change in how good they are to God moment to moment.
If something goes well selfish people are happy with God.
If something bad happens to them, they are angry with God.
So selfish people often change how they are to God, depending on how they and their life changes. As a result their well being goes up and down every moment.
If they are angry with god then they and their life will be bad.
If God is happy with them then they will be happy and their life will be good.
If a person cares about God, for the sake of God and because they know that God is the right way for all. Then they will be good to God and love God whatever happens to them.
Being happy and well
When a person is doing good, they are spiritually on a higher level, so are closer to being with god and god happiness.
When a person is doing bad they are spiritually lower, so on the lower less happy levels further away from God and God’s happiness.
If a person loves God and doing good then God will love them and they will feel and receive that love. As a result that person will be happy and well.
If a person hates God and so is doing evil, then God will hate them. As a result that person will be sad, unwell and full of hate and despondency.
When God loves a person, everything goes well. This is an instant thing that happens instantly.
So a person will not be happy because they have something, it will be because they are doing good for God.
Being good and bad with God
Just like when doing a bad job for an employer, or can be good or bad with other people, a person can be good and bad with God.
Examples include:
Talking to God and not listening. Just like how a person can stupidly talk and not listen. God is the teacher and master, humans are the servants and students, so must listen.
Being nasty to God, because God is different to us. Just like racism, a person maybe bad to God because God is different from them.
Saying if God is not good to them, or if things fo not go well then they will be bad, hateful or disrespectful to God. A person must be good to, love and respect God, whatever happens to them.
Competing with God: trying to pull God down or mock God, to try and be better, or think are better than God.
A person should be thankful to God and not think they are entitled to things, or take them for granted.
Doing the right thing
A person should be concerned about what God thinks of them, if God approves of them and let that be the judge. Not what other people think of them and what they are doing.
So first be concerned and guided by what God thinks is right first, before what other people think.
As people are not as moral as God and cannot perceive so much. What God and sees to be correct, other people may see as wrong.
Is not about whether other people, love, hate, respect, disrepect, agree, disagree, approve or disprove with and of you. It is whether God does.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 30, 2013 3 MinutesAppleSimplicity, focus and relentlessness.
Creative visionaries abhor the day to day operational, administration stuff like supply chain logistics, product filfillment, customer support, inventory management, hardware manufacturing, channel sales and all those things. So they need someone else to do those things. The creative person comes up with new business ideas and needs someone else to organise those implementation things. There is no point the creative person doing those jobs that do not interest them, they need to search for the best person that is suited to that work and can do it instead.
Honesty and truthfulness wins the respect and confidence of fellow people.
Need to make incredibly great products.
People’s talents must define their jobs, not the job roles define the people.
Need designers with the artistic side of making technology beautiful.
Focus on details.
An effective operations ‘Mr Fix it’ person
must blend in
not accept no as an answer and that will terrify people.
not get flustered
expect huge detail from staff
do everything on spreadsheets on which you study every line before meetings. For example in the meeting you ask staff, what is the variance in column D, row 514? What is root cause of it? People are reprimanded if they do not know the answer to a question like that.
Do not accept excuses.
Do not accept reasons why people have not immediately gone to solve a problem once it became, or becomes apparent to them.
Leaders provide a vision of where the company is going, good operations people just get it done.
The recruiter travels all over the world to design schools, looking for the best designers to hire for their small 20 person design team.
Design team has particular energy and special momentum from learning stuff as a small group.
Design team goes to people from different industries and crafts to learn things. They meet masters so they can really understand materials, techniques and understand why things are done a certain way, so not just copying things.
The reason they do not do a lot of stuff, is that it is time consuming and demanding to do it fully and properly. They are persistent in saying no to things for that reason.
Great designer are often rubbish at running a design business, as they just want to focus on the craft of design.
Great user interfaces on computers have a simple design.
Intuition and empathy are great ways to deeply understand things from other people.
The top executives are product orientated, which means focused on producing great products, as opposed to being ‘deal guys’ where they are focused on negotiating and doing deals with suppliers and the companies who sell their products.
Apple is a tough place to work, newcomers face long odds of being around for long.
The people at the top have been at Apple for many years such as, the shortest executive is 12 years.
Steve Jobs has no time for people who are not brilliant, when people in the business see that a person gets little attention from Steve Jobs, it means that they are seen by Steve Jobs as a ‘bozo’ and people in the company know that this person has achieved ‘bozo status’ with the founder.
Does not care if a board member attends very few meetings, he just cares if they are good or not.
The precise words Apple uses to communicate it’s message are repeated so many times that everyone, internally and externally, can repeat them by heart.
Messages are simple and clear.
The trick with selling breakthrough products is to explain them clearly. They could of said the 1000’s of functions and features the Iphone has.They just said:
Revolutionary phone
Internet in your pocket
The best Ipod ever created
They highlighted what makes Iphone stand out, but only giving consumers as much as needed to get excited.
These 3 points were repeated on every communication.
The best message is clear, consice and repeated.
Do not change it because you are bored of saying it, for the people listening it is their first time hearing it.
Consumers then use the same wording to describe the product to their friends.
Sell products with stories, need to be a great story teller. The stories go from the top of the company, down the ranks and the company gets behind it. Then they go right out to the public.
Tell the story in a way that is repectful, helpful, friendly and not pushy. It is not about price, it is about product.
Telling customers not what they want to buy, but what kind of people they want to be. Lifestyle advertising, selling an image associated with the brand, rather than the product itself. Their adverts show people they admire, not the products. Selling an exciting lifestyle.
Then once they have people’s attention, they explain in minute and gorgeous detail what the products can do.
Pay close attention to how customers use it’s products and what use them for.
Huge spending on branding, marketing films and so on is worth it, because for Apple nothing is more valuable than the brand. 9 times out of 10 typical customer will not consciously notice the distinctions, but sum total of Apple’s obsessions including it’s image will not be lost on customers who intuitively appreciate Apple is a cut above. Eg. London Symphony Orchestra for iMovie music trailer.
Marketing is the cover of a book, products are the inside pages.
Apple employees practice product launch presentations for months, leaving nothing to chance.
Steve Jobs rehearses presentation dozens of times, so each relaxed statement comes off just right.
Big sign in marketing department says SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY with broad line drawn through first two SIMPLIFYS. This is to simplify products and how they deploy brand .
Products comes with Apple logo stickers, which people put on their on their paper notebooks, car bumpers, refrigerators and so on to display the brand.
Graphic design a stickler for detail and aesthetic integrity, for example coffee cup stain on poster must be actual coffee, not brown ink.
Only people who have spent lots of time in front of the press are allowed to speak to the press, these people must have learnt how to gracefully avoid answering unhelpful questions. The pr department ensures there are things people do not know. No one is allowed to speak to the press on behalf of Apple unless they are approved by the pr department, no matter how senior they are.
To ensure good public perception they go out of their way to win over top technology journalists who are influential, even including instantly going to their homes to repair and sort out any problems they may have with their Apple devices. Apple will take their side if they do not like a product and berate the people who created it for causing that. Apple’s un tarnished reputation is essential to them.
The everyday person needs products to be easy to use and not complex. Also must be technically superior and not bland.
The successful journalists are advocates for the average consumer and coming over like they are one too.
If Steve Jobs asks someone to do something, they will not have a good career with the company if they disappoint him.
Pleasing public figures by escalating their requests high up in the company and giving them top class service is essential image management.
Jobs insisted that staff do the impossible.
To promote products even ensured reporters for mainstream publications would would want to come to the showy events to reveal new products, not just the industry ones.
Need to envision world changing products even before they had been built.
The best organisations are intersects of art, science and business.
Steve jobs ‘organisations and people settle into ways of looking at the world and become satisfied with things. The world changes and keeps evolving and new potential arises, but people who are settled don’t see it. That is what gives start up companies their greatest advantage. The sedentary point of view is that of most large companies.
In addition to that, large companies do not usually have efficient communication paths from the people closest to some of these changes at the bottom of the company to the top of the company which are the people making the decisions…. Even in the case where part of the company does the right thing at the lower levels, usually the upper levels screw it up somehow.’
Start ups are normally more willing to try new things, change things and move into new areas.
I think that as long as humans don’t solve this human nature trait of sort of settling into a world view for a while, there will always be opportunity for young companies, young people to innovative, as it should be.
(I believe must not be satisfied with things for the needs and welfare of others, must not be selfish)
Need an easily repeatable marketing line, that perfectly captures the product’s capability. This may even be stuff that rival products can do at a lower price. eg. Ipod ‘a thousand songs in your pocket’. Also not about price, is about making customers want the product.
To ensure staff do great work and that you only keep on the best people, have high expectations.
Make it clear to rest of company when someone is a not brilliant. For example by not inviting them to the important meetings, or talking to them.
Build technology to change the world, not for technology’s sake.
Simplicity of design and attention to detail.
Hundreds of design iterations, mock ups and hours and hours and hours of talking even for just a close button on the side of a screen. Means cannot do a lot of things, but just have to do a few things really really well.
Base decisions on what best for product and so best for customer. Discourage employees from being distracted by pursuits that may help them, but not the company.
Products are at the core of everything they do.
Art, humanities, philosophy and so on are essential in product design and marketing.
Product design and marketing must create an emotional connection with consumers, it is an emotional issue.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 30, 2013 7 MinutesAdding value for the customer so making more moneyValue
Those who add value make money.
You have to work out what the customer really values, not what you think they value, or you value. You have to remove factors the customer does not want to pay extra for and find out what is profitable that they will pay extra for.
Being able to charge more for your product:
Examples could be:
•A money back satisfaction guarantee may get loads more sales.
This is because with it, the customers are happy to risk trying your service and it also shows your confidence and knowledge that it is good.
It should cost you very little. This may be because customers rarely claim it because you provide such a good service, you are keen to find out about things they are not happy with and sort them out, or the item is so cheap that customers do not bother to claim it.
They may even value the guarantee so much, they see the product as a luxury and will pay far far more for your product than the satisfaction guarantee costs you to do. For the wealthy customer, it really differentiates you and they will pay a much higher amount for your higher quality product.
• Price per job instead of hourly rate. Sometimes you will lose out, but on average over many customers you will make more, because of the larger amount you charge for taking you this risk for the customer.
• instant cancellation on contracts. Again you may lose out sometimes, but you are charging more for this service and a percentage of customers will pay far more for this service because of it. So will buy your service because they are not exposed to the risk of being locked into something they do not want.
You can sell both the contract with a longer cancellation period and the one with the shorter cancallation notice period for a higher price.
Being able to sell your product for less, so sales drastically increase and the customers even prefer your new product:
For example thick chips (french fries) may be more expensive to produce as they use more potato. However people may prefer thin ones as there is more surface area to create taste against the tongue, even though they use up more space in the packet so people get less potato. You can then charge less, as you need less ingredients and people will like your chips even more.
With a product or service, if you find out what the customers value, you can often shave off the things they do not value and sell the item for a much cheaper price. You may also find things the customer values, that you can sell for much more than they cost you.
This needs you to work out what the customer wants, not what you want to supply.
ready8 Marketing Leave a comment June 29, 2013 2 MinutesBusiness (the long term)The best way to make money is to have very satisfied customers for so they stay in the long term.
The big money is made if you have a customer and they stay with you, then in 10 years time you are still making money from that customer. As have you paid off your advertising cost for getting that customer, 8 or 9 years ago, that is where in the long term the big money is made.
If you skimp on quality and do a less good job, you may think you will make a lot of money in the first few months, you never really do:
•they will not stay long enough for you to pay off your advertising to get those customers
• in a long time you will always be spending lots of money on advertising and doing the initial sales work to start that customer with you. Customers will not be staying long enough to pay off those costs
•eventually the bad word from dis satisfied customers will get around and no one will use you
• you will not have the all important satisfied customers, that will recommend your service to others. Also will have told other people how good you are, so when they see your advertising, they buy from you because they heard about how good you are from these other people.
• dissatisfied customers use up time and are frustrating and difficult for your staff to deal, so is the business can never function properly.
• if the company does great work, it will be respected and nice place to work. So you will be able to easily attract the best staff who will want to work there.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 29, 2013 1 MinuteBusiness (general)Work
It is the idea and it’s implementation that matters, if you think throwing money at something is the answer then you are dead.
Long term success
If you spend your time working out how to give less to the customer for the same amount of money, in the long term your business will die.
You need to work out how to give more to the customer for the same amount of money, or how to give the same to the customer for a cheaper price.
The only foundation of real business is service. The original sale is not when the sale is completed, that is just an introduction. If you do not give good service from this first sale then it would be better if you had never had this introduction at all, because the dis satisfied customer is the worst of all advertisements. People will tell many many people when they are unhappy with a service, far far more than when they are happy with one.
The real money is made when they return for more cars in the future, or refer a friend, both are sales without the advertising costs.
If you have a bad product, word will get around and eventually you will have a service that is not cost effective to try and sell.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 27, 2013 1 MinuteTaking risksCalculated risks
Before taking a business risk it needs to be calculated.
What is the upside?
If it goes wrong, willl you loose all of the investment or can it be sold for a smaller loss?
Will the investor be ‘rolling the dice’ many times so on average they should be okay if the odds are good?
For example:
A person buys a watch for $1
60% chance they will double their money.
40% chance it will not go well that they can sell it at a loss for 50 cents
The maths for this is:
$1 x 2 x 60% = 1.2
$1 divided 2 x 40% = 0.2
So the total is $1 and forty cents, which is of course more than $1 and so this risk is worth taking.
Bookies make money by the odds adding up to more than 100 and making a profit on that.
For example:
Three horses, for each one the bookie pays out double money on the payout if they are chosen and win.
Betty
Bobby
Sam
3 customers each bet $1 on a different horse.
So if a person bets on Betty and it wins then they get $2.
However the bookie received $1 per horse, so $3 in total so has made $1 profit.
If more people bet on a particular horse the payout goes down to ensure a profit is made whatever the situation.
This is also house insurance companies make money insuring risks.
A gambler is a person who takes a bet without having calculated all the odds, this is normally caused by:
greed
desperation
not having calculated the odds of winning for all the players in the game and adding them up.
Reasons people not take risks
People are scarred of being thought of as a fool, but it is better to be seen as a fool for righteousness’s sake.
You should always be ready to take a calculated risk, to succeed you must have courage and bravery with the risk of failure.
When there is something at stake the mind looses certainty, the bigger it is, the more uncertain they become. For example if they could loose lots of money if wrong, a person becomes uncertain and unsure, even with something really basic, that without that possible loss, they would be certain they know the answer to.
A physical example is walking along a thin path that is easy and normally would know could do, but if a 1000 metre drop beneath it, then less sure.
Having more at stake actually makes people’s performance get worse and not better, as they are so concerned and worried.
Employment and self employment
Most people are employed because they do not want to take a risk and would rather have to security of a steady salary. They may make less money as a result but have the security. This is similar to how people pay for insurance policies, they have less money but gain the security.
To attract and retain staff, they need to feel secure in their employment with you. If they feel insecure, they may take your customers, staff and intellectual property to start their own business. They may also go elsewhere for a job.
If someone is going to start their own business, they will probably steal your staff, customers and intellectual property. If they steal customers and staff, going to court and other things is rarely effective . If they steal your intellectual property, it is also very expensive to go to court. James Caan says it is best to encourage them and offer to help all you can with their new business, such as offer to invest in their business, use some of your staff, your systems and so on. This means they will want to keep on side with you because you are an asset to them. Also as it is their business, they will be highly motivated and your investment could make a lot of money.
How to make big money
The big money is made by people who take the risk, they can employ many people and make a profit from the work of all those people. However of course this is not for everyone as most people prefer security.
For example, as an accountant a person can earn $40 000 per year. For the security of being employed they are fine if the company employing them makes $5000 per year from their work.
So a company with 500 accountants will make $2 500 000 per year.
Big risks
To be successful a person has to take risks and try new things, otherwise they will be left behind by the others that do. Successful racing drivers often die because they try doing the corners at speed, from this they learn and get ahead. However they pay the price for their success with these risks, it is a choice they take. Those that do not take these risks do not get to the top because of the others that have.
Nothing to loose
The people who are most creative and come up with the best things, are often those that have nothing to lose. Without this they may not have taken such a risky path.
They are happy to try new things that may not work, because as they have nothing, they are not scared of it causing a loss to whatever they have. For example loosing their reputation is not a problem if they have done nothing better before which gained them one.
The person with a reputation can loose it, if the new thing performs less well. They will no longer be known for their last thing being a success, if they now do something which is a failure. As a result people may stick with the old thing, even if it will become out of date, not relevant to a changing world, improving world and not be the best it can be as they now have learned more and have new and better views and ideas.
The person with nothing can only gain, there is nothing that can be lost.
If it does not work, they have not lost anything and if it works they only have to gain.
Also having nothing, means they have nothing and want to have something. The person who already has something, does not have so much to be gained from trying.
If a person is unemployed they have only to gain by starting their own business, but an employed person risks their current income and security by trying something new.
The only way someone with previous successes can stay great, is by risking everything by trying out their new ideas and what they now think is best. This means risking everything.
How to take big risks
Do it in a way that is not in danger your existing activity. For example try with:
a new brand, so if it does not work does not in danger your existing one.
a new location when your existing business does not trade.
a different limited company/corporation, so it cannot affect your existing one.
Do the smallest possible test just to see if it works, you will never make any money from the test, it is purely to test if it works without the risk of damaging the old business. Once you have found that it works and the idea has been refined, it can be done on a big scale as you know it should work.
Stick to what you know
If a person sticks to what they know and who they know, they should not go for a walk.
A person may have a feel and experience for very few markets, but that is fine and they should stick with those industries. It is more important for a person to know what they do not know, than know what they do not know. Most people only know a very small area. This is because they know where their talents lye and are successful because they focus on just one thing.
Learning
When a person cannot do something, they have to learn. They have to try many times and will fail until they learn how to do it.
If a person only does things that they know they can do as have done it before, or already know know to do, then they are not learning and will not grow.
This is just like how a baby falls over when learning how to walk. Learning comes from practicing and repeated trying, not just from study.
“You can succeed only if you fail, and failure shouldn’t be seen as a black mark, it should be seen as a war wound. You’ve had a go, learnt from you mistakes, and now you’re going to try again.”; Dan Wagner, entrepreneur.
Many of the great and winning motor racing drivers die in car race crashes. The cautious ones are never so good and do not learn so much, so do not win the races. They take each corner more slowly and do not win. Of course a person has to decide how valuable the achievement is to them for them to take those risks.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 27, 2013 6 MinutesSocial skills (good energies)You need to be able to put people at ease
If you are a ease with yourself, at ease generally and at ease with them, then they will feel at ease as well.
If you are comfortable with yourself, then other people will too.
As all the world is one, how you are bleeds onto and effects others. So the discomfort of a person being uncomfortable with themselves, is uncomfortable to others to be around. As are other things like self loathing etc.
You also need to be full of good energies as that is what comes off you and onto other people.
If you go to a party by yourself and get stressed when you are there, your stress is something that people will not want and so people will want to stay away from you, so it is counter productive.
To be relaxed, chilled, loose, not tense, laid back and happy, full of joy, it has to be like everything is okay.
If you are stressed, anxious and worried by problems, then you will not be nice to be around. The unpleasant energies come off you onto them and so you will be annoying to be a round.
In social situations people want to have fun and enjoy themselves, they do not want to be stressed and working. When you are being social with somebody, they are joining you, being together with you, part of your world. If you are relaxed, laid back and having fun, they will want to join you being that.
If you are creating fun then people want to be with you, but most of all you need to actually be fun. If you are fun and are open so that other people can be part of it, then you are fun and people want to be with that.
If you are stressed, working, embarrassed, uncomfortable, having a hard time, they will not want to join you and be with you.
Also do not try too hard, if you are stressing and straining people will experience from you and get that energy coming over, which they will not like.
Also as your stress and more unpleasant energies go onto other people from you, other people will become stressed themselves and react badly to you, as they now have these unpleasant energies so will start to behave unpleasantly .
Also they will not want to be with you because they will get these unpleasant energies.
Also if a person has all these negative energies, other people have to sort them out. This uses a lot of the other person’s emotional energies and resources.
So it is important to be relaxed, happy and so on, in order to get the best results. People will naturally get these energies from you and will want to be with you to get them.
It goes further than this. All the world is one, so when one person becomes happy, other people do as well. When people are happier, they are nicer and kinder to other people. So if you are happy, other people around you will become happy and so will be nice to you. If you are happy, people around you will be happy, so will be nice to you.
To help do this:
serve the person you are talking to, if your energies are for other people, so they eminate and spread from you onto others. As it is for other people, then good energies will come down from above as it is for others
- If you are selfish, then you will have all the negative selfish energies that come from wanting things. These are not so nice for other people to experience.
it must not be about what you want, selfishly wanting the other person’s company, that is taking, dark and heavy. It is about you serving the other person by you being good company for them.
by being a good moral person, a person will have good energies. If a person is evil, they will have bad ones.
Jim Carrey the comedian found that people want to be ‘Free from concern’, so in his act he is a person who is.
Anger, sadness etc.
If a person is angry and they smile at someone else. It will not matter that they have smiled physically. The fact that they are angry and have those energies, means the other person will get that anger and not want to be with them.
They are receiving anger from that first person, as they are receiving anger then they themselves will become more angry. Also they will not like that person as they are getting anger from them and out of revenge will be angry back for that.
If a person is sad, then other people also will not want to be with them as they are getting sadness from them. Also other people around them will be sad as they are getting sadness from this person.
If a person is happy and smiles at someone else, the other person cannot help but smile back and be happy. That person is receiving happiness from the first person, so will themselves become happy and will also like the first person for giving them that happiness energy.
It goes so far that if someone wants to attack you, if you are happy, that other person will be full of happiness. As they are then full of happiness they will not want to, or be able to attack you.
Happiness makes people generous and kind.
General
When people say that a person has a good heart, it refers to their feelings and emotions. So when you have good feelings and emotions like happiness, love and joy, be open so they can spill out onto other people. Then they can feel, enjoy and experience them.
This will also affect you physically in your mannerisms and expressions, so they will be able to see you have good feelings and emotions as well.
Ultimately to have good emotions and feelings, a person has to be a good giving person.
It’s like certain people have a flame of bringing people together and happiness, for that flame to grow and live they have to share it with others.
They are the people who regularly organize barbecues so their friends stay together.
Be true to yourself
Relax, then people will feel the same and like you. It is also far easier for you, as a result you will be happier, more comfortable and people will like you as they are getting these energies.
Be your natural self, true to yourself, people can then enjoy you as there is something really there and not a fake nothing.
By relaxing it lets the real inner you come out for others.
Adapting to people for their sake so they feel comfortable with you is good as it is for them. However pretending to that you are greater and better than you are and showing off is a selfish thing.
Trying to con people that you are greater and better than you are, is a huge amount of work and strain. It is also a deceit which is a very uncomfortable feeling. People will pick up this angst, strain and darkness a bd not like you for it.
Be at ease with yourself
To be a gentleman need to be at ease with your own skin and yourself.
Hemmingway ‘Nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man, true nobility is being superior to your former self.’
Look at the good things in life
There is a time for taking responsibility looking a life’s difficulties and problems. This is what I need to do in real life to solve problems and be effective.
This is stressful and not fun, so not for people to enjoy being with you. A person in social situations needs to look at the good things in life, because that is what people enjoy and have fun with.
Some people may enjoy if it is mocking others, but that is a different thing, as it is the enjoyment of putting others down. This can go down a dark path though.
Goodness and toxins:
Evil / toxins:
Badness and evil are not nice for other people to be around. They rub off on other people and so they will not want to be a person who is them.
Bad things are hateable and not likeable.
So if a person is those things, other people will not want to be around them.
Examples are narcissism, vanity, frustration, arrogance, lust for power etc. These are basically just some of the things that come from selfishness and so lead to sadness, did satisfaction etc.
Also this badness and evil will rub off on other people so they become insecure, selfish, sad and all the other things that come from selfishness and evil.
Goodness
If a person is goodness and so is good things, for example kindness and caring. People will want to be around that person.
These things also run of on others and so people will want to be around that person. People just get better and have these things from being around that person, eg. confidence, optimism etc. Other people succeed and just get better from being around that person.
Goodness and these good things are also lovable, so people will love and like a person who is them.
Basically by being good everything just works.
By being evil it does not.
Stress repels people
People do not want to be around people who are stressed. They do not want the negative energy and feeling.
So make sure you are calm as you can be and at ease when taking to people, as they will want to be around that energy. This also makes you open and able to feel other people’s energies which makes life lovely and good. You cannot do this if you are stressed and worried, as they are overaught by stress and worry.
Be calm, at ease, like everything is fine and nothing to worry about. To do this, focus on the positive and the things you can do, not the things you can’t.
It’s important you feel comfortable, people like to be around people who feel comfortable. If you start worrying about what people think of you and stuff like that, you will no longer feel comfortable.
If you don’t feel comfortable, people can’t enjoy whatever it is you are doing with them, whether it’s joking around or whatever.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment June 27, 2013 7 MinutesSocial skills (being seen as a nice person)People thinking that someone is a nice person is not the same as thinking they are a good person, as in morals etc.
Thinking someone is nice means that they like the person, because the person is nice to them.
Things that make a person seem nice
A nice person is thinking about others and not thinking about themselves.
As a result the person is nice to others.
This is best displayed a situation where you had a hard difficult time.
Anyone can be seen as a nice person when I had nothing to hurt and dusturb them. Also if they have everything they need.
If you have been put through a nasty situation, such as being ripped off and emotionally hurt by a bad person.
If you talk about how the person who did this to you is a nasty person and what they did to you, you look like a selfish person because you are just thinking about yourself.
So you are nice to everyone around you, because even with what you have been put through, you still think about the needs and welfare of others and not about yourself. This is because you are a nice person.
If you were a selfish person you would be so preoccupied with how you have been a treated, you would be concentrating on that and so would be angry and frustrated about that and not focused on being nice to other people.
If you are asked about the person, say favourable things about them.
Not putting your baggage onto others
If you are asked about it in social situations, when talking about it, you get angry, bitter and upset and cannot cope, just talking about yourself, your side and your own predicament. People would not want to be with you, because then they are sucked into supporting you and receiving your bitterness.
You are asking from them to bare and cope with your nastyness and hostility about this other person. They feel like they to have to be sympathetic and compassionate to you as you cannot cope.
So they feel like they are sucked into help you out as you cannot cope.
If when you are asked about it, you are coping, not winging about your own predicament, not thinking about and talking about your side.
So you are nice, happy, benevolent, unstressed, thinking about the needs and welfare of the person who ripped you off and trying to help them all you can, respectful and nice about the person who ripped you off, you are seen as a nice person.
You are not slagging off the person who ripped you off and not just talking about your own needs.
When people ask you about it, you are still nice about the person who ripped you off, able to be nice to people around you because you are not putting them through it and asking them for help, you are seen as a nice person.
If you need sympathy and compassion from other people due to your plight, then you are asking for things from others and they will not want to be with you. People want you to give them sympathy and compassion, not for you to have to ask for it from them.
Always talk about other people and their needs, not what you have and want for yourself.
How you are with people
You have to lift people up, make people think that you think they are incredible and special.
However be careful of doing flattery which is a sin. Flattery is saying that a thing about a person is great, when it is not, it is a bad point of theirs.
So focus on peoples’ points that are truly good, so you do not have to lie about someone by saying that their bad points are good points.
Then you are actually doing them a favour, as you are helping to enhance their good points.
People wanting others to think they are great
People seem nice if not have to prove themselves to others.
The desire and want of other people to think they are great and amazing, means they are actually taking.
They get stressed about wanting this so are less nice to to be around. All in all this makes people think they are less nice person.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment June 27, 2013 3 MinutesWisdomWisdom comes from the many years of experiencing things and being aware, awake and watchful when they happen.
Also of course listening to wise people, but it is the many years of experience that enables you to be able to quickly tell who is wise and who is unwise.
You need to understand things so they cannot control you.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 26, 2013 1 MinuteCaringYou need to care about people emotionally, it is an emotional thing caring about other people, not just physical, thinking, etc.
Sympathy, compassion, love etc. is an emotional thing.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 26, 2013 1 MinuteSellingThe basics of selling
Nice and friendly: they buy from you because you are the person they want to be with, you are the person they would like to go for a drink in the pub with and so on. It is like a social thing, like being a friend, they call you to buy the product instead of somebody else, because they enjoy your company.
Great sales people are good at making friends.
This means you need to have good social skills.
This is not about you taking control of the conversation, or being pushy in any way. This is about being nice to people so they enjoy and would like to come to you.
Promote the product: Showing them the good sides of the product, all of its features, advantages and benefits. Need to be enthusiastic about it.
Give them the information: just like people go to an experienced doctor because he can solve their problems, have great experience and knowledge. People come to you because you will be able to solve their problems related to what you do, have great knowledge and experience.
Believe in the product
To be able to sell something, you have you to:
– believe you are helping people by providing it.
– be excited, enthusiastic and passionate about it.
– believe in it.
– confident, or people will not believe in you.
Need passion and enthusiasm about a product or service to be able to sell it.
Everything is one, so if you believe in it they will too. If you do not believe in it, they will not either.
It’s a bit like how if a singer is interested in and loves what they’re doing, other people will as well. This is not from an ego point of view, they love the thing itself, it is that they love the thing they are doing.
Enthusiasm is infectious.
Confidence
If a person has total confidence in themselves, other people will have confidence in them as well.
Sales people can use self-confidence to make other people believe anything. For example, even an actor who can’t sing can use self-confidence to convince an audience that they can.
If you have total confidence in your ability to do something, other people will believe you can do it because of your confidence in it.
If a person has total confidence in what they are selling, other people will have confidence in what the sales person is selling as well.
It’s often found that someone who is very new selling a product and doesn’t even know a lot about the product or service, does very well selling a lot of them. They manage this because they’re very confident that the product is good, and that is enough to make it sell.
If the sales person does not have confidence in the product and themselves, how can the customer have any.
Studies have shown when when people decide which CEO to hire and how much it is worth paying them, they are affected more by the candidate’s confidence than their performance. The same with people on television who recommend which stocks you should buy, people judge them by their confidence, more than their past performance of picking winning or losing stocks. ‘If they are confident, they must be good’, they trust and believe that confidence.
There are sales people who have started out selling a product they are new with and so know little about. The sales person has lots of confidence, so sells lots of the product, even though they have little knowledge to say great things about it.
Confident that it is good, reliable,will do the job, it is great etc. Also that you are those things as well.
The best way to gain this confidence is by doing a good honest job, selling a product or service that does that as well and does what it claims, so it is all based on reality. Then by increasingly having the experience of you doing a good job and that the product of service does a good job, you will gain confidence in yourself and the product or service.
Steve Martin the comedian says people think that he is a confident person in his act, when he is actually not a confident person. This is because he acts like a confident person.
It’s an act, he’s acting.
Make friends with people
Make friends with people. People buy from people they like and trust.
Build relationships.
People buy by from people who are like them.
Build goodwill.
Have fun with it.
People want to buy from people they like. They want to have a nice experience and working with someone they like is important for that.
Then people will want to give you business and buy from you
People buy from people
People buy something because they believe in the person who is selling it and that makes them believe in the product.
If the sales person does not bother about their appearance, the unspoken message is ‘How on earth can they bother about anyone else?’. If they cannot look after themselves then how can they look after others.
Less experienced sales people often get obsessed with their catalogues, written materials and other documents. However a good salesperson knows that none of these really matter compared to if the customer likes and trusts them.
Customers buy from the salesperson if they like them and think that they are good. The catalogues, reading materials and so on mean relatively nothing to the customer, compared to if they like and trust the salesperson.
Once they like you, they will want to buy from you. Once they trust you as they feel they know you, they will believe that the product bus service is good.
If they like the salesperson, they will buy whatever product the salesperson has, including when they come back with other different products. They that product because they like the person. Buying is an emotional thing.
If the customer, looks like they are not going to buy. Maybe they will think about it or look around to see what else is on offer elsewhere. Just keep having a chat with them. It can be about the weather, cricket, life, children etc., nothing to do with the product. The customer will think you are not selling. However you are. You are building a personal relationship, they are getting to know you and so then they will trust you. Once this happens, they will buy from you as they will also trust you on what you are selling.
The salesperson also needs to seem like an expert who knows what is going on, is highly trained, knowledgeable, clever, capable and has been doing it for many years.
Motivation
For many cold calling sales people to motivate them, they need to have a mental image of what they are working for. To help this they may put a picture on their desk of what they are working for, an example may be a specific model of car they wish to buy in cash.
Service
People will buy because you are providing what they want. Therefore it is your job to find out what they want and serve them with it.
People buy because of the service, so it is your job as a person to serve as well and nicely as possible.
Do not make it that you are selling to them, make it that you are helping them.
The conversation is not about what you want, which is to sell them something. It is about you seeing if there is anything you can do for them.
Charming
Good manner and personality when meeting a client is what wins people over. After all they are unlikely to actually have an idea of how good you are until you have worked for them – if clients leave then it will be for good reason.
Smooth talkers get ahead. So to be smooth (soft) means not being hard on people. For most people this means need to say what clients want to hear and that normally means not confronting them by saying they are wrong.
A sales person also needs professional ability as that will be evident in the first interview.
Be an expert
Need to be able to answer the customer’s questions expertly and fully.
The customer is speaking to the sales person because they want information to learn about the product. So need to have good information, that is intelligent, to show you really are the best in the trade.
A bit like a person will go to the best doctor who has the best knowledge, information experience, treatments, can explain them.
This means the customer is best off speaking to the sales person and not another, because they will come out with the best, highest quality information and solutions for their needs.
General
A salesperson must not push, control or take things by force from the customer, in the long term it will stop them from returning.
The job of the salesperson is to understand the customers needs, some of which the customer may not even realise they have.
It is sales by seducing the customer, so they want to be with the sales person and want to buy the things from them.
It is about finding out what the customer wants so they want to come to you.
With enough passion, people will believe anything. So deliver the sales message with passion. However do not be aggressive.
People are drawn to happy, inspirational and uplifting people. That’s why people watch fitness videos and they’re done by people who are like that.
Enthusiasm
People will get enthusiastic about whatever you are enthusiastic about. So if it’s something they’re not interested in, they will get enthusiastic about it because enthusiasm is contagious. They will be interested in watching you do it and so on, because you’re so enthusiastic about it.
That’s why people in the industry they’re enthusiastic about do well, because they’re enthusiasm is infectious.
Make it personal
When does salesman is communicating with a customer. He or she has to think about that individual customer needs and wants.
It means that it is a personal thing for the customer. The salesperson is personally thinking, emotionally and physically there for, concerned about and serving that particular person.
Even if they serve loads of people each day. They look at each person individually as they care.
So the sales person’s responses are for that particular customer’s nature, needs and concerns.
This is totally different to a sales person using scripts or pre prepared sentences. It is a personal relationship where the salesperson cares about that individual human being.
The language that use is for that individual person and they are not saying the same thing to everyone. It is a personal relationship between two people.
Whether it is a cover letter for a cv, a public relations person approaching a journalist to try and get them to cover a story. They do not just send out the same letter to everyone. They think about each individual person their requirements and write to or call each person accordingly.
Of course in reality this is balanced out by how the sales person has done this many times before and so often does know which words to use and when to use them.
Being personal means genuinely open about yourself and your life. Being open and let people know about your personal life and you personally. This makes it personal and real.
Of course let the customer to talk and listen to them, because people like to be the one that talks. This is often because the customer likes to be in control and voice their opinions. A sales person that just talks about themselves and does not let others talk is irritating.
Trust
People are worried about not getting ripped off and want to be assured that they are getting the best. That is why people buy from where they have bought before, recommendations, friends and from brands they know and trust.
Once trust is gone, it is gone. If it does go wrong, take responsibility, fully apologise, be totally open about how you messed up. A good apology says sorry without any get out clauses and takes responsibility. Explain what went wrong, why, what you will do to ensure it does not happen again and how you will put things right.
Never lie, as once you are caught out the trust is gone, they do not believe you any more.
A sales person uses all they can to promote and create trust. Being totally open and transparent is a good start.
If there is a fact or product that the customer already knows is good and true. If the salesperson says something that conforms to that fact, then the customer will think that everything else they say is true as well.
For example, if the salesperson recommends a product that the customer already knows is good, the customer will think that everything else they recommend must be good as well.
Ask questions
Need to ask the customer what they want and what they are looking for.
The sales person needs to find as many ways as possible to ask and find this information out. Other ways of putting this maybe by saying ‘we will do whatever it takes to get the sale and your business, what do we have to do show and prove you to achieve this.
This is so the salesperson can supply what the customer wants, prove it does what they want and provide what they need.
The customer may say things that the sales person does not agree with, even think that the customer is wrong.
If the customer’s views differ with that the salesperson, the sales person may feel that their ego is being attacked because their product is being disrespected or the customer disagrees with them. The sales person needs to be focused on getting the sale, change things to fit the customers’ wants and not get pulled down by this useful information.
Demonstrating the product
The salesperson needs as many opportunities as possible, to demonstrate the product and service to the customer. Just talking about it may not be enough, they have to prove it.
This can be from as many angles as possible, First is showing the product and service, then other ways is showing how it is supplied and getting them to talk with existing customers.
Really getting to the places and environments that the customers will be using the product, so they can see how the product or service will work in a situations that they will be using it.
This means encouraging the customer to spend the time and effort to see these things.
It is very easy for the salesperson not to bother to encourage the customer to really do these things and so see for themselves how the product and service really does work. This is often because it is more work and hassle for the salesperson.
If people see and experience it, they will believe it.
Constantly find ways to demonstrate to the customer that the product or service works.
For example when Marcus Lemonis was selling cleaning materials to a hotel in the show ‘The Profit’, he went to one of their hotel room and cleaned it to show how well the cleaning products work.
When selling food to a buyer at a restaurant, the buyer thought that their customers would not buy those kind of foods. So in front of the restaurant’s food buyer, he went up to their customers and asked them to try the food. The buyer then saw that their customers liked and would buy it in their restaurants.
Find new ways to get the customer to try and see everything about the product or service.
Bad sales people
If a person is selfish, they just focus on what they want and not what the customer wants.
Signs of this are sales person believes in controlling the customer. They try to and wants to, control the customer, to get them to do what the sales person wants.
The customer will not want this dark controlling force, so will be repelled and not attracted to the sales person. So this will stop a customer from wanting to buy.
They selfishly want a sale, so they just look at their wants and not the customer. One consequence is they become aggressive with the customer as they just want to get what they want. However a good sales person makes it that the customer wants to buy from them, gives the customer what they wabt. So the customer buys as it is a pleasant experience for them and this aggression creates the opposite of that technique.
Be fun
If somebody is asking you awkward questions, the best way to make them give up is be really really boring. They’ll get so bored that they’ll stop.
This is of course the opposite of what you want to do for selling, be fun, be life of the party and people will want to be with you.
Do all the fun things whether it’s music, eating, telling jokes, having a laugh and so on. This is why companies do corporate entertainment.
Emotions
You have to be emotional about the product, why you love it so much and it means so much to you.
If the emotion and passions are there, people will think that it must be real.
Need to have powerful energy and emotions, then people will think it’s all real and genuine.
People go along with energies and emotions, not so much logic.
That’s why stories are really important for selling, they get people involved in the emotion.
Energy
People buy it because there’s lots of energy with what you’re saying, you do it with lots of energy. As there’s lots of energy it must be big, it must be brilliant.
It’s a big ball of brilliant amazing energy.
The energy is emotions, feelings, attitudes, and so on.
Excited
You have to be really excited about the product, then they will too.
You have to have the genuine emotion and feeling, you can’t fake it. People are moved by the actual emotion and feeling.
Without that they will find it all boring and uninteresting, so not want to engage with it and be involved.
All the paraphernalia of presentation and so on, such as graphics and so on, are about getting excited about the product.
All the hype that it is the most amazing thing ever. People are bored so they want something to dream abou, have fun with and get excited about.
The salesperson must think that the product is awesome, insanely great and be excited about it, then the customer will as well.
Use stories
You have to use stories as people are interested in and like stories. They also learn and believe the lessons from them.
A good story has to get people interested by something amazing and sensational happening. They then have to wonder what will happen next and how the problem of the story will resolve itself.
The solution to the problem in a story needs to be something that they couldn’t have predicted, then they feel they have really learned something and it was a good story.
A story is when there is a problem, how will it be resolved?
Excited about the product or service
You have to be excited about the product, people want to be excited by things and it to be exciting, or it is boring and uninteresting, so they move on to something else.
Marketing materials with flashy graphics and so on are to make the product exciting.
Massive energy
If you use massive energy, such as emotions and feelings, people can’t help but get carried along with it.
People want energy, they want that and will go towards it like a flower going towards the sun.
However be careful selling a product that is not right for them for moral reasons. Also they will go away and the next day realize the product is not right for them and cancel the product or service.
That’s why you need string energies and emotions. Not to push people, but to create good and positivity, that is what people go towards. They do not want to be pushed around.
You are seducing people.
Be authentic
To be authentic you also have to be yourself or people will see through things and it won’t work. They will feel uncomfortable, it just won’t be working and they won’t know why, but this is the reason.
Caring about the customer
Eric Barstow of Painting Business Pro quoted a very successful salesperson and teacher who said ‘When you care more about the customer than you care about the sale, you’ll sell more than anybody else out there.’
A successful salesperson truly puts the customer first, even if it means losing the sale. This is because by putting the customer first they build more trust.
It’s about having customers trust you and so building this trust changes everything. It’s about taking care of people, not chasing money.
You have to have that emotion and feeling of caring about others.
It must be that you genuinely care.
You will go to the full length of whatever’s needed to make sure the customer is happy.
You will ensure everything goes smoothly and sort everything out any problems that may come up delivering the service or product. Then you can truly look them in the eye and give them a promise.
So you can believe in yourself, then the customer can believe in you.
Happy people sell
People like to be around happy people, so they like to buy from happy people.
They think that if the person selling the product or service is happy, it must be good.
So use a happy voice, facial expression etc.
Cold calling sales call centre CEO Nev Wilshire gets his staff to dance to music before they make calls to get them in a happy place. Then people they call want to speak with them as they’re so happy.
People buy from people that they like
There are many occasions when a new salesperson goes out with little knowledge of the product, but sells really well as people like them.
So be nice to people, the kind of person that the customer would like to have as their own friend.
Don’t tell people they are wrong, they don’t like that.
Listen to what people want and agree.
Don’t try and change people, people don’t want you to try and change them.
Don’t change their worldview, people don’t want to change and be told they are wrong.
Give them information that they’ll find useful and really like.
Listen to the customer, people like to talk, even if it’s not relevant to the product.
Let the customer feel like they’re in control, don’t try and control them. People don’t like other people trying to control them. People also like to feel like they’re in control.
Don’t show off, say how great you are and how you are better than the customer. Of course you need to say how great the product or service is, but you’re not showing off about yourself for vanity or egotistical reasons. Talk about how great the customer is and how much you like things about them.
Be interested in the things that they are interested in. Let them talk about what they are interested in, such as their hobbies and so on.
ready8 Business Leave a comment June 25, 2013 16 MinutesHow to change and why it is hardLoss
When you change, you have to give up the old way of doing things.
It is like:
-cutting out a part of yourself
-a part of yourself is dying
-giving up a child
-admitting that part of yourself is obsolete
-the humility that part of you is not petfect or right, which is harder to admit to yourself, than even to admit to others
It is very very hard.
The bits that need to go, want to be there, enjoy being there, will justify why they should be there, will not want to be kicked out, left behind and want to exist. They are having a home, a party and do not want to leave.
Even if the thing is bad, has caused a person trouble, or just is something they have outgrown and so need to leave behind, there is still a great sadness and loss when it goes.
Also you cannot know what something is truly like until you have done it, so it is repellent to people until after they have actually done it, or been there. It is like doing the unknown which is scary.
It is a risk and something as you have not experienced it. However even if you are sure it will work, the unknown and uncertainty is uncomfortable.
The ego likes routine, habits and traditions, changing and you feel unstable while you are making the transition.
You also feel like you do not exist, as the old thing going away, means the way you were doing was not permanent. So you realise that nothing below God is permanent as everything below God changes. So everything below God does not truly exist, as the universe itself is not permanent. Only God is permanent. The ego does not like this and will do all it can to regain control.
Especially hard are:
-Changing things things that you love having, but are no longer relevant to reality or a changing world.
-Things that affect your identity of how you see yourself.
-Also your identity of how others see you, especially if you are an extroverted person, or an ostentatious person that relies on this to ensure your own self worth as your own is so low.
The answer to change, is to focus in why it needs to be done and why it is is so hard.
The unknown
It is not possible to know what something is truly like, until one has done it oneself.
A bit like watching someone dive off high diving board, one cannot know what it is really like to do until one has done it oneself.
So to be able to change, one has to be able to face and become aware of the unknown.
The best remedy is to become aware of other people already doing these things, physically, their feelings, emotions, psyche, spirit and divinity. Really empathise with and be with them Then it is like you are one with them and become aware of what it is really like.
Momentum and inertia
The behaviour may be something the person has been doing for a long time, or all their lives life.
During this time the behaviour has been going along, building up speed, getting bigger. This is like a snowball building up more snow as it rolls down a hill, or a train building up to be bigger a bigger, getting more carriages and passengers as it goes along.
So if a person has been doing this behaviour for weeks, months, years, decades or even a lifetime it will be a huge thing.
It takes a huge amount of energy to divert or move such energy. For example to convert:
a huge amount of hate into love,
fear into courage
negative, bad, or useless behaviors into good ones
So it may take time, work and lots of energy to do this immense task.
Choice
It is actually possible to change instantly, in a second. Once a person has made the absolute choice to change then their behaviour and ways will change. This is the power of will and choice which is the first step before any action happens.
However the person has to have absolutely chosen to do this, with of course the implications of that choice.
Routines and habits
The ego likes routines, habits, customs and traditions.
It sees them as easy, comfortable and can remain a sleep while doing them. It is seen as safe because that is what one has always done. In reality it is not safe, because things change and then you have not changed to be able to d with deal with them.
When changing, we actually feel unstable until a new habit or routine is found. So the best way is to make change itself, what one does as a person.
Even if a routine is bringing a person great pain, they will still want to stay doing that routine.
A person can have issues such as being fat, having headaches, being angry and other big problems. They can be constantly trying to find a solution. In fact what caused the initial issue has gone, they no longer have the original cause of the problem. The only thing that remains is that they are stuck in the habit.
The aim is to discover all the good routines one has learned, get rid of useless ones and keep the good ones.
Routines are needed to do the basic everyday automatic things like to drive a car, then one watches these routines to change and sort them out if needed. It would be over the top for a person’s higher functions to be wasting their time on doing things like this all the time. If there is a problem with these basic things, then one wakes up and sorts out the more urgent and important situations. The higher parts of the mind then normally focuses on more important things.
How to change
Need to change how think, act and feel.
For example, just doing one of these will not be a real change, a person cannot just think about change, also has to do it.
There are three types of people, thinkers, feelers and action people.
For a thinking person, pondering and thinking about it is helpful and helps cause change, but to make it actually happen have to also concentrate on doing it in reality
The real world
A person can consider a situation and a talent, but it is only if the person is in that situation that they can really work on it and themselves.
A jewel thief has to be next to jewels to see and work on if they tempted to take them. Being in a room away from jewels does not mean anything for their real character.
It is good to meditate and ponder about not being tempted, but real world exposure is the only real world reality. However people often do not do this because they are scarred.
Comfortable with what done before
People are comfortable with what they have always done before. As they have done it before, they know it well.
They will continue with it even if it is something that has brought them great pain and suffering. They will also continue even if they know this thing is bringing them great pain and suffering.
Freedom
Not changing is being restricted as locked on the old way and not changing.
When free to change is like being unlocked, the person is then free to do as they choose.
That freedom means can do anywhere and do anything.
This is huge as the universe, time and all the spiritual levels are so big.
Some people are scared by that and feel safer in their cage of habits and traditions.
Pride and Ego
Changing your mind
People who are intelligent and use their minds, change their mind, views and belief a lot.
As they go in a direction they find some or all of the things do not work, they see new things etc.
They are actually looking and thinking for what is real and true. Not just looking at ways to justify and prove that they are right and others are wring
If they have honesty and integrity, they will care about doing the correct thing. Also if they are clever and use their minds, they will realise that changing their mind is a sign of intelligence, they are actually using their mind.
However ego and pride, can mean they do not want to admit to having been wrong.
This may mean they do not want to admit themselves that they were wrong before, because of the pain, humiliation, embarrassment and heart break in front of themselves.
It can also be in front of others, because of the dishonour and disrespect from negative people saying they were wrong. People may think they look bad for being wrong. The desire to save face and not look bad, can be greater than the desire to make the right call. (Jason Fried & David Heinemeir Hanson book called Rework)
If the person says this in true modesty, they are thinking, looking and learn new things, so change their mind. Intelligent and benevolent should accept and respect that they have changed their mind. However negative people who do not do anything themselves, will use it as an excuse to put them down.
So lower things can stop a person from changing their mind, because they do not want to admit to having been wrong.
Of course the positive is that they hopefully have something better, they are moving learning and progressing.
To learn a person also has to appreciate that relative to the universe and reality, they know nothing. Without this they will never learn anything.
Ego
The ego wants to exist.
The way it does this is with routines, habits, customs and traditions.
The ego wants to keep these things going so it can exist.
Routines, habits, customs and traditions are a large part of what the ego is.
As people we need the ego to exist, but it must be kept in it’s place by the higher parts of ourselves, so it does not take over everything.
ready8 Psychology, Spirituality Leave a comment June 19, 2013 7 MinutesAttracting womenFundamentally
These are the most fundamental things from which a lot of the things below come from.
Women want:
A man who makes them feel good and beautiful, a lover.
Love is very important. The man loving them, makes them feel good and beautiful. The man does things for them because he loves them, because she is so wonderful.
The king of the jungle. Like the lion is the king of the jungle.
Anthropology
In anthroplogy, in the hurd girls want protection, gifts and elevation of social status.
Confidence
It is important that the man is confident that they are attractive.
If they believe they are attractive, the girls they are trying to attract will believe so too.
If the man not does not believe that he is attractive, other people will think they are not attractive.
If a man thinks that he is attractive, then others will also think that he is attractive.
Also a man cannot do and be masculine if he is not confident, as that is needed to be masculine. Confidence is needed to go ahead and do things effectively, fully and properly.
It’s a bit like in dancing where the woman wants the man to lead. However he can only do that if he is confident so can really hold the woman and so on.
The woman wants it to be though, that when the man does lead, he does it nicely as he cares about them. He is not pushy, nasty or controlling to them.
Also if person has self esteem then they are not so worried about other people think and so to dependent on them.
The man needs to be confident so that he can:
get out there
be masculine
chase after the women
do things to his fullest without pulling back
show them himself well
Ultimately women find confidence in a man very sexy and attractive.
If the man is shy he cannot for example, put his arm around a lady like a man would. If he is shy so he for example backs off when being with a woman, it is not masculine and so not attractive to women.
A man who is confident in himself and what he can do. The man must be totally and utterly confident, without any doubt, fear or worry in any way shape or form that he can do it.
If a man is insecure they also cannot be sexually attractive. This means they are subject to fears, doubts, are uneasy and anxious. They must be self confident and assured.
However of course it is a balance like anything, because a person needs to know the truth about themselves, otherwise they loose touch with reality.
Power
Women are attracted to powerful men:
-a lawyer in a big important company, doing big important cases
-a dj with a massive following who has a large audience watching him
-a man in charge of a large staff.
The man needs to have great presentation and put themselves over as a powerful man.
To be powerful, a man has to be confident.
This can attract women like a moth to a flame.
Women want to be ‘swept off their feet’ by a man, the more powerful that man is, the more they feel that the man can do that. This is strong physically, psychologically and emotionally
A woman wants a man who will cherish them and be worthy of their affections.
Attracting a women: women want a man with authority, a dominant man who is in control.
They want the man to be in charge, in charge of things in life and able to be in charge in their relationship. This is the masculine principle, the man plans the date, the positions during sex etc. However of course the woman gives her consent and is soft and nurturing which is the feminine side.
Successful women seductresses make their men feel good, listen to their men and then have sex with them.
Who women see as the best man to mate with
If a man is beyond handsome… electrifyingly gorgeous, he comes across as self-assured, confident, in control, ambitious. From a good family such as his mother is a top doctor, his father a successful attorney. He’s wealthy beyond imagination and his wealth was largely of his own making, a real go-getter type of man, the kind of person who gets things done. If his character had existed back in prehistoric times, this would have been the caveman who knew how to hunt, bring his kill back for his family and would have protected his family fearlessly from all dangers. This aspect speaks to the primal sense of finding the best mate to create and protect a family.
The best male also means that genetically their children will be the best offspring. So if a lady wants her children to have certain aspects, she will ensure that man she is going to mate with, has those aspects to ensure her children have them.
Women do you want a rich mate, but if you do not have money, ambition is also important. Ambition means the man will make money even, if they do not right now. Women want it to be that if they are going to get pregnant, their man will provide for them and not just sit on the sofa, so they will have to look after like them like they are another son.
Using a nature analogy, women want their man to be the king of the jungle, the lion. They do not want the mouse. So the man must be the strongest, cleverest, most powerful, courageous, bravest and so on. Even if the man has the first three of the previous sentence, in reality he cannot be anything without courage and bravery.
Women want to be with you alpha male, this is the a man with the dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations. They do not want the beta male who is a secondary person lower down in the hierarchy.
To be an alpha male the lady knows that has to be ambitious, as this means they will be driven to succeed and be number 1. so a man who spends time lying on the sofa watching television and not being the best he can be, will not be attractive.
Being scarred, embarrassed, intimidated by anything, or weak, stops a man from being or looking like an alpha male.
Women want a man who is strong and with a beta male the woman may end up telling him what to do and that is no fun for them.
Commitment
Women are very very wary about having a man who wants to be with them and only them.
Women feel that the love only builds when the man is only interested them and no one else.
Women want to have a long term relationship with the man, so the man must not want any other lady and the man must love them.
Getting commitment is a big thing for women, marriage is also a big thing for them and the security that a man has committed to them.
Genetically and on an animal level, men would like to impregnate as many women as possible. So once they are sure they have planted their seed the female is less interesting and they would like to move on. Women are very wary of this and so the man has to prove that is not the case.
However when a lady gets pregnant she needs the man to hunt, provide for, fight for her while pregnant, delivering the baby and, when the child is being brought up and for her generally. That is why a wiman wants to know that the man is committed to providing for her, will put her first, spend all his time on her and the child and also will never leave them.
They know that they must cover up from the man in the early days of the relationship, how very worried they are about this, or they will scare the man away.
If a woman has a man cheat on them, it seriously ruins their confidence. If the man has sex with someone else it means the girl is not special. It is also really hard for them to get over being hurt like that.
So when on a date the lady will want it to be that you only want to chat with them, not the waiter, other people or anyone else even for a chat . You just want to be and chat with them and not look at anything or anyone else.
This can be the same for weekends away and so on. There maybe other people on a nearby table the man would like to chat with socially, but the woman may want it to be that the man only wants to chat with her.
What women want
Women want a real man, that means someone who can handle and cope with a sensual, confident and self assured woman.
An emotionally strong, confident, man who is secure in who he is.
He cares about her, asks how her day is going, asks if she would like a bubble bath and so on.
Successful high powered career women find it very difficult to find a man, because it has to be a man who is very secure in who he is.
Love
This is probably the most important thing for a woman. Woman look for true love, they check to ensure it is true, because so many men will pretend to be in love with a girl to sleep with her, but they are not in love with her.
Women want a man who makes them feel good and beautiful, a lover.
Women want a man who loves them, it is really important to them. Things that will help guide a man with this are:
nothing is too much trouble. The man will do anything for them as he loves the lady so much
the man who knows what the lady would like because he loves her so much. So she does not have to ask him for anything, he just knows as he loves and cares about her so much.
The man is there to do whatever she needs, when she needs things, however she needs them.
Spending a lot of time with a lady is a sign for them that you love them.
Women want it that a man will fight for them to protect them, defend their honour and so on. A man who is a hero. However the big reason they want a man to do this for them, is that it shows that the man really loves them.
Women want a man who loves them and that is a big deal. It is emotional and makes them go ‘ahhhhhh’ in a good way.
Women want a man who can give a lot of love.
A man who is devoted to the lady, gives a lot of devotion to that lady, only to that lady.
Women are emotional, they want to fall in love, have someone they can give their heart to. However as they do not want to be hurt and they can be hurt when they give their heart to someone. They are very careful about the man they do this with, really want to know him well and be able to trust that he will not hurt them by leaving them.
Whereas men are more about having sex, women ultimately want to fall in love. To help this process the man has to love the lady.
Wheras men seek sex, women seek love and affirmation.
With sex, men want to put their seed inside a woman, for women they want emotional fulfillment.
Giving love
A woman wants and needs to receive love, like a car needs fuel.
She needs it to function, be in the world.
The man needs to be able to and know how to give love, he actually loves her and gives it to her. The feeling, emotion and actual existance of love.
If a man is in a bar and is giving love, then girls will just want to come up to and be with him, to receive love.
All the love letters, poems, gifts, notes, touches, pictures painted of her, kisses, time spent on them etc. that women want from their man, are all ways of the girl getting love. Love is what they want and need.
Women want love in all different ways that they can get it. For example the way a man looks at her like he loves her, touches her like he loves her etc.
Women like being with a man even just for this.
Courting
A woman wants a man who will go for it in chasing them, make a move, take charge. That is part of being a man and being masculine.
Women want it to be that there is a man who is coming to get them.
They want a real man, that really will go up to them, puts the effort into getting their phone number, chases them, is not worried by rejection as he is a real man with courage.
Women want it to be that a man loves them, thinks they are fantastic, chases them, is obsessed by them, wines and dines them. This makes them feel desired and feminine.
Biologically they are the beautiful passive flower and it the active male that wants to woo her so that he can impregnate her. So the woman wants and expects the man to do the chasing, it is the bit she wants.
She also wants it to be the man loves her and only her, he will look after and protect her.
Women love it when ft a man looks at them, likes them, it is a real power thing for them and compliment.
Patty Stanger says that a man needs to learn how to ‘hunt and fish’, when a man sees a girl they like, they have to go up to her and not be a coward.
The woman then likes it that she can then decide if she wants to go along with it, or not. So the man needs to be a gentleman in doing this, treating the girl like a lady.
For example, the man will not ask the girl if he can kiss her, they want him to make a move such as lean forward to try and to kiss her. Then it is up to her if she wants to lean forward into the kiss, or lean back so they will not kiss.
Asking a girl if you can kiss them, ruins the mood and the moment of romance.
- Some men choose to ask the girl if he can kiss her, because he is scared of being rejected, but if the man does ask if he can kiss her, he is seen as pathetic by the lady. The man has to just do it and be a man about being okay with the rejection if the girl pulls back so not to be kissed. He knows he will be rejected if he leans forward and so is just saving himself from that embarrassment, or he is just a coward.
Coffee is cheap (so best avoided)
Drinks are an audition
Lunch is an interview
Dinner is romance
So once met a girl and ask her out, must be a 5 star date.
Seen from another side, the woman may let the man have sex with her, but the man has to work for it by doing things for the women, proving their devotion etc.
So women want it that the man woos them, takes them out for dinner and does things for them as he wants them. When you take a woman out for dinner, it is all part of the courtship they want.
However as you are serving them, it’s best to do what they actually want and not just be derivative. Eg. may have some pressing problem like a package they can’t stay in for and if you do that, it’s what they really want and shows you actually care.
Chivalry
Women want a man who will fight, protect and work for them.
Patty Stanger says
Women what to man to be chivalrous and being chivalrous goes a very long way for women.
It is kind of dying as men do not want to be men, they want to be the girl in the relationship. Now that women are earning their own money, they figure they do not have to pay the dinner bill, open the car door, but that goes a very very long way with a lady.
However women want a man who will look after them and so for example pay for the dinner bill. Chivalry goes a very long way with women.
if there is something the lady needs, going and getting it or doing it for them. The more specific it is to her real needs the better it is, as shows the man really cares about and so listens to them.
even little things like opening the door for them, walking the lady from the car to her door when he drops them off etc.
The old analogy of a woman being swept off her feet by prince charming is a good one. Very feminist women may like to say and even think they do not want this, but they do.
A relationship
Women want a man who is interested in them as a person, so is interested in and wants to join them doing what they are interested in doing and so on. For example it may be going shopping, or whatever their interests may be. So going with them, joining them and talking about their interests.
For a lady to fall in love with a man, it has to be that the man wants to talk with them and be with them. So she then wants to chat with him and misses just being with him, even if it is just them talking. Then she falls in love with him.
Ask questions, be interested and find out about them on a deeper level. They want you to want to know about these things, because they want a man that cares about them.
The man will be even more attractive to the lady, if it moves past the physical into more about what they are interested in and think about certain things.
They love it emotionally when it is a man they can be relaxed, comfortable with and just hang out with.
You need to know how to be with a girl and be a gentleman.
They want a man who is honest and sincere. Where they can be real with each other, talk about anything, he will support them in whatever they do and they can continue their passions together.
Common interests are great, as from there the relationship flourishes. Women want a man that they have things in common with.
A lady wants a man where they do things together as equals, not that they are below the man. In fact the man thinks she is so wonderful, lovely, beautiful and perfect that he lifts her above him.
For a women the sex thing is only so much, they want a man to go through life with, do things with, be with them, protect and look after them. So they want a man that will go to concerts, out to dinner and so on with them. They do not want to do stuff by themselves.
Also to turn a woman on and for her to want sex with the man, forplay and romance is essential. This means the man to be with her for many days, loving her, caring for her which means doing stuff with her.
Women testing that the man wants a long term relationship
Women know that men often just want sex with them and will just move on once they have gotten this from her.
Women do not just want it that the man says to her that she has pretty eyes, but not be interested in them as anything more than a sex toy. They also want the man to be interested in them as a person and not just as a sex object. So for example on internet dating, when contacting a lady mention things she has written on her profile, to show you are interested in her as an individual person.
Women are used to men just wanting sex and saying anything just to get sex. They find men act crazily, they have a disturbing time because the man is so crazy. The men normally do this because they are so extremely driven by just wanting sex. This makes the men say things too extreme for a first date, such as fake cheesy chat up lines etc. Just anything to get sex, once the man has slept with them they will move on.
So women like it when the man chats with them like they are a person. They want it that the man wants to know what they are interested in, about them, listens to what they have to say, pays attention to them, etc.
Then the woman gets to find out that the man is a good man.
So many ladies will make sure the man is properly interested in a long term relationship, or marriage, by letting the man be go out for dinner with them, meet up regularly and so on for even 3 months before even kissing him. This is especially if they think the man is just wanting to have sex with them and then will just move on.
Then after 3 months of him still loving her, wanting to go for dinner, places, help her with things and so on.
She will see that he is really into her for the long term, sincere and so will let him kiss her and slowly move further with their relationship.
Biologically this is because once a man has impregnated a female, sexually he has done his job and it is time for him to move to impregnate another female. As a result many men will move on or get bored once they have slept with a lady.
The female will be pregnant and have to nurture the child throughout their lifetime. They need a man who wants to and will protect them and the child from threats, hunt and fight for them while they are pregnant, giving birth, raise the children and so on.
As a result they want to know the man is interested in being with them for life and not just impregnating them and moving on.
This is so the man will hunt, fight, protect and provide for them and the children throughout their lifetime.
That is why woman is very insecure about the man really wanting them, thinking they are better than any other woman, so she knows that he will not go off with another woman now or any time in the future. They depend on him for these things, the man approaches and does things for the lady, so she needs him to be attracted to her and so want to do these things her.
So the lady also needs lots of compliments from the man, him to love her, think she is better than other ladies and not to be interested in other women for the same reason.
A woman thinking you are a good person to go out with and marry
What make girls decide you are the man for them. Could be they see you are nice to your mother and so a nice person. How a man is to their mother is very important to a woman. Women see the man’s mother as the lady who has been in the man’s life first and gave them life. If the man is not good for that lady in their life, then they will probably not be good to the next lady in their life which is her. So if a woman sees that the man is really nice to his mother. They know he is a good person and will be nice to them.
Good with children so will be a good father etc. So if they see the man being good with another person’s children, such as really playing with the children, the woman will want to go out with him as he will be a good dad to her children.
Also that the man is polite, for example opening doors for her so she goes first, eating with his mouth shut etc.
When the lady is sick, ill, looking terrible, in trouble and it is like the man has nothing to gain from the lady as she has nothing to give, the man of still loves them, hunts, protects and fights for them.
Introduction
Women do not like it when a man ‘wolf whistles’ at them, says ‘hey baby’, ‘hey sexy’ because they are being treated like animals, pets, dogs and so on. A women wants to be treated like a person, they want a man to speak to them like a person, a beautiful, wonderful and intelligent person.
Romance
A woman has to be romanced, then they will be turned on and attracted to you. This takes time and effort.
The man must not be narcissistic, he must do it that it is all about her, she is the big deal, not him. That is how you ‘sweep a girl off her feet’.
It is about the mood, moments, feelings of romance. Ultimately showing that you love her.
Wheras men think things, women are about feelings. So for love making ‘sex’ there has to be the right mood and feelings, so there has to be romance.
For example for a gift to be romantic, you need to provide what she specifically wants and likes. The more the lady wants and likes it, the more effective it will be.
Different people want different things, it could an item she had wanted, she could not get and you noticed, remembered and got it for her. It can also be something that she specifically wanted.
The more personal thing it is about specific things that she likes and wants the better. Then it is more that you care about her specifically. As you paid attention to them and listened
However it needs to need something they want want emotionally. She may need a new computer, but that will not be effective if it is not something she emotionally cares about. Men also need to be careful to not get things that they themselves want, but not what the lady wants.
It also needs to be something where the lady can see that the man put his own special thought and energy into. If she finds out that his personal assistant bought and chose it, the gift then means nothing to them.
Being a father
Women want a man who will be a good father for their children, for example fight through hell and high water for them.
They really want that for their children, so really care about choosing a man who will be a good father to their children.
A women will not go out with a man they believe may abandon their children, or be a bad father. If the man has previously had children with another lady, that he has always looked after those children well, will be an essential way she will assess that.
Also for that reason a lady wants a man who will provide a stable income, home and so on for the children. Financial stability and security is important to a lady.
Also a woman may go out with a man, just because they want to have children.
Your bad points
Everybody has bad sides and baggage.
Examples maybe personal problems, family problems, relationship stuff they got wrong in the past and so on.
However do not tell the person this until they have gotten to know you and been with you for a while. Otherwise they will get put off you.
So let them see and enjoyed your good sides so they can get to know you, trust you and appreciate your good sides.
So that later on you can tell them your bad sides and they will not end things at that point, because they have gotten to know you, trust you and see that you are okay.
If a man tells a lady their negative sides or dirt too early, then the lady will just go yuk and not want them!
You have to eventually tell them your bad sides, or they will be upset you never told them and not trust you anymore, but leave this for until they have met you many times.
Also you have to be an open book, so people can get to know and like you. So doing this too much can prevent that, make you unknowable and unlikeable. It can even lead to a feeling of hostility on your part, because of what you are doing, so be careful.
Finding the right lady
You need a lady that likes and want your heart (emotions, feelings, love), not one who likes and wants your money.
To do this you must get girls by being romantic, not by spending loads of money. Then you will get the girl who wants a good man, a girl who is not a gold digger.
Status symbol
Women want a man who looks good, dresses well and so on, because for them their man is a status symbol, something to show off and be seen with.
Also if the man is rich and powerful, then they are too, as she is the partner if that man. Having a man like that makes them a ‘somebody’.
Emotions and feelings
Men are more logical, they go for it and do it. A man will say what they think about things and go and do things.
A man will say ‘You are being silly, ‘I think you are being silly’, then go and sort it out. Men more get on with it, so it and sort it out.
Women say how they feel about things and enjoy talking about their feelings. Women like to talk about their issues and problems as a way of venting and coping with it, sharing them with others.
A woman will say ‘you are making me feel uncomfortable’.
Women are about nurturing, caring, feelings and emotions. So to be successful dating women, men need to have intelligence, ability and awareness of feelings and emotions to be successful.
Men need this so they can do things emotionally and feelingswise to be successful with ladies.
So when a man is being affectionate and loving with a woman, he needs to really feel it and express it for real as real feelings and emotions. He also has to be able to express it in the tone of his voice and so on. As a woman is interested in the feelings, not just the words are being said. So for example if they cannot feel it from a man that he loves her, hear it in the tone of his voice and so on, there is nothing interesting, or with any point for them.
The man must be very careful not to do anything to damage their feelings about him. A woman’s feeling are very delicate and easily swayed. Just one wrong look, tone of voice, sentence, feeling can damage this and they will not feel comfortable with you. If done, this is very hard to come back from and sometimes not possible if she has locked herself up for her protection.
However although women want a man who is romantic and feels good. It is essential their man who is strong so does not cry when they need him to be strong.
They will walk away from and never want to be with a man who cries, it means they are not strong enough to stop themselves from crying.
They are fine if a man cries at suitable and correct times such is funerals, but not at times where they are under attack and need the man to be strong.
Women believe the man should be able to stay logical during difficult times, women believe it is okay for women to cry because they are more sensitive and run more by feelings.
How to make sure woman does not think you are a creep
Signs are taking advantage of her, not respecting her, not being there when she calls calls him back, not giving her time and attention.
Women are very careful to ensure they have nothing to do with men who are jerks and have ‘jerk detectors’.
Women are careful that the man does not just want sex from them, for example if they receive a phone call after 11 pm, it normally means only that.
Women want a man who is good, real, honest and genuine.
So make sure with a girl it is about you serving her, giving her love as she is so beautiful and lovely..
It must not be about you taking, leering, being sly, malicious, like an animal looking at their pray, a hyena looking at a dead carcus and cannot wait to rip it to shreads. That will scare off and creep out ladies.
Masculinity
Masculinity is about force, strength, rugged, doing things, strong, take charge, command, leading, taking control.
Femininity is about nurturing, caring, being receptive, softness.
A female will be attracted to masculinity. If the man is not masculine, there is nothing for the lady to be attracted to. The more masculine man is, the more there is for them to be attracted to.
Men who get a lot of attention from woman are very manly. They have a very manly stature. So with behaviour and doing things think ‘what would a man do?’ For a man to be manly, he has to be able, capable and have achieved things.
A man must have masculine energy, it is something a man can meditate, focus and work on so it grows and grows. It is a force, energy, strength etc.
The men who women find attractive have a masculine energy and are masculine, this effects their whole being and way. Women are attracted to this masculine energy. However these men also know how to look after themselves so they remain clean, well groomed and attractive.
How you act and behave is important, women are female so will be attracted to masculine men. Ensure you then act and behave like a masculine man with your posture, tone of voice, energy, movements and so on.
A man needs to have a strong sounding voice, with this the lady can tell how physically, psychologically and spiritually strong he is. As a man is meant to be strong, a man will look pathetic if he is not.
If you are ever intimidated in any way by the lady, or anything she says or does, you must not admit that, as it is not masculine. The lady needs someone who will be the male, if you are intimidated by her then you cannot be that man so she will not be attracted to you any more and respect you.
A man does things by force, a woman asks if she can do something nurturing or assisting. So the man takes charge.
A man must stand vertically straight, to be powerful and dominating. They must also have a forward leaning/standing posture which is more masculine. If a man leans back at all, they will seem feminine.
A man must have a deep strong voice. A high pitched voice is laughable, pathetic and terrible for a lady, because it is so feminine.
The lady wants the man to behave and be physically, emotionally and psychologically strong, brave, courageous and effectual, so capable of achieving and doing things.
He must not be a wimp, and so weak, ineffectual, or timid.
However you still need to express interest and want to do the things women like to do but men do not, such as go shopping for clothes, talk about relationships, do romantic things like holding hands and cuddling. If you talk about men’s things like football and so on they will not have any interest in talking and being with you.
So for example the man chooses the restaurant for the date and takes charge. Women want the man to do that for them.
As and ‘gentleman’ the also have to see if the woman wants to go along with it, or if they would like something else.
Going through life and in their relationship, the lady wants a man who is strong and dependable. So he deals well with, survives and is fine through life’s challenges.
So if there is a mouse the lady expects the man to be able to catch it and not be afraid.
Women have their nurturing and childbearing abilities, but the hormones make them fluctuate emotionally a lot. They expect a man to be strong enough to be unphased by when they may be or do things because of this. So in these situations they need the man to be their rock and not fall apart if they do. So a man has to be strong emotionally as well.
Due to estrogen and other things, women’s emotions can go up and down and be all over the place. Women want a man who can stay strong and hold their ground, will still be fine when the woman may get emotional.
Women want a man who can be the strong male, so they can be really feminine. This is especially for women who want to be really feminine.
Courage
Courage is needed for a man to be masculine, no woman wants to be with and sleep with a man who is a coward.
If a man is afraid , will never find a wife.
These men are often a mother’s boy (so does whatever will please his mother even if not the best thing to do). They have not gotten the courage and confidence to go into the real world and still clinging to their mother.
If they are afraid of what mummy thinks, will do things which are not right, just because of what their mother thinks. They do this especially as not got their own courage and confidence.
The men often do this because in their parents relationship, the mother leads and the dad is easy going.
If do that then the man ends up with a woman that rules him, just like their father does.
It is the wanting to be with a woman, that makes the man leave home, it says this in the first part of Genesis in the bible.
Cowardly men are not sexy. They also are not exciting and girls want men who are exciting.
If a person is a coward, they will:
●not be exciting and will probably also not talk about exciting things. Need to talk about fun, spicy things and play. They will also need to be confident so will show their personality.
●It also makes it hard for them to make decisions.
●can make them hesitate so not get the girl. The guy may loose the opportunity as another man comes along, it also stops the man from being masculine and so attractive to the girl.
Getting to know them as a person
When chasing a woman, do not do it just like you just want sex. They will be intimidated by whether they will be good enough and so on.
Chase the girl as want to get to know her as a person. If you just want tits, arse and sex she will probably not want this as she will feel used, especially as it means you will just have sex with her and move on. This will mean she has been treated as an object, when she wants to feel special.
Women do not want to be treated as an object that is used for sex and the man then just moves on to another object. Girls want to feel beautiful and special.
The girl must be so special and beautiful that you would never want anyone else and you value her as a person.
Admire with honour her as a women
This is how is how women like men to look at them. This means that admire, honour and them for being a woman and all that being a woman means.
It is about honouring and admiring what women do and are in the world and how important they are. The importance and wonder of being a women. For example they are nurturing, gentle, beautiful, stop fights, many raise children etc.
Women will love that you look at them like that, find it special and really want to be with the man.
Women do not often get that from men.
To do it successfully need to be detached from it, it is a natural process that does not come from ego, selfishly wanting things. So need to be able to let it happen that natural place.
For the woman it is not just the man trying to get into their pants.
If a man goes into a room, just wanting to get into women’s pants, the women there will find the man repulsive.
Horny males
Women do not like being around males who are horny and nothing else. They feel that they just want to shag things.
Women want a man that only wants them and only loves them.
Women feel that men who are just horny, just care about themselves and getting their own sexual fix, with no thought of the girl. This is not nice for the girl, because the man just grasps what he wants and will not treat them nicely.
Women are worried that the man will just sleep with them and move on.
That is why they constantly check that the man is not just wanting sex, he loves them and wants to be with them.
A horny male will have sex with anything when it comes along, this makes women feel especially insecure, that he will mess them around, will not stay around to them and will go with off with someone else. That the man will be unreliable.
This is what women want, but in the world itself, male and female are the balance of two different forces. The man in himself has to behave according to his own libido and sex drive, or it will not function. On a base level men do just want to put their sperm in all girls. He will not be able to function sexually as a man if he does not function as a male. If it does not function the women will be left sexually very disappointed as he will not get an erection etc. However he does have to look out for and consider what ladies want.
Women want to ensure the man will stick around and help them, not fly off.
General
Girls like it when you look at them like they are the greatest thing in the world, worship them.
A woman wants a man who makes them feel special.
A man who is proud to have them as his girlfriend.
They want a man who is sweet, kind and makes them laugh.
When a man courts a woman properly she feels special and that is why she likes it. It must be romantic.
You must be giving to her and serving her, like you do not want anything in return. For example if you look at a girl that you do not know, like she is lovely and wonderful, it is a compliment for her that she will like. If you focus on giving to her, giving the compliment and serving her then there is nothing for her to hate as you do not want anything from her.
You do not need to say many complimentary words, or chat up lines. It all happens and is communicated from how you feel, emotions, facial expressions, your posture, tone in your voice etc. So the ‘chat up words themselves’ are not so important, the othet stuff is.
The best way to a woman’s heart is through a thoughtful, un selfish, considerate act for them.
Girls want to see that a man has put in loads of thought and effort into doing things for them as it shows he loves and cares about them.
They also want him to plan the date for her as he is the male.
Woman want a man who is chivalrous, it goes a long way, opening car door, paying restaurant bill etc.
Women like to check out a man and find out who he is before getting any involved with them.
Women want a man who is intelligent, educated and comes from a good family.
If you know how to love your mother, all the ladies will love you.
Showing off
Women want a man who is real and authentic. A man showing off, pretending he is greater than he is and other things like that make him fake. As a result there is nothing for the lady to connect to.
The man has to be true to himself, let the real him shine through. Needs to let the lady see who he really is.
If a man is putting on performance there is also nothing real and for her to connect to. The man may do it:
selfishly as they just want to show off to get attention and admired
compensation because they are a pathetic person so do need this attention and admiration
compensation because they are pathetic, not a nice person, not kind etc. so they feel they cannot let the lady see the real them because he is ao scummy
The only solution is to genuinely and actually be a good, clever, capable, kind person so the lady can enjoy the real you. There is no replacement for the real thing.
Being egotistical and selfish is something that will turn women away, it is unpleasant for the lady as things are happening in his interests and not hers.
Women only wants to see great things that interest them, so they can become part of that and have it, so it is about serving the lady. This is of course not what showing off is about, as that is done to show is better than the lady.
Being good at what one does, coupled with modesty is a winning trait.
Guys when dating can start showing off their job, it is their pride, hunter gatherer thing, identity and to give them confidence. However girls only care about that if it is a job that adds to their status from being with you. Also if guys are too much into that, it bores the girl and gets in the way of the them seeing the man’s heart, emotions and who he is and they want to see those things.
A man may start talking about his car, hifi and other male things that tend not to interest ladies. The lady will only care that he has money so that he can buy her jewellery and the things that she likes. So once she sees he has a nice car,.she will have worked that out he has money, then she wants to see that he will spend it on her as he loves her. So going on about cars and things that bore her will be a turn off.
Clothing and grooming
Women want a man who is dressed well, groomed well and will be put off by man who dresses badly. Their man is a status symbol who reflects how great they are that they have such a man.
They do not want to be embarrassed by having a scruffy man.
Also it can be a status symbol that they have a classy rich man, so if the man is stressed scruffily, it pulls them down as well.
If a man dresses scruffily, the woman may also think they are poor and reject them for that reason as well.
Women wanting a rich man
This is because:
from a mating point of view they want the king of the jungle.
the women wants the money.
Even if a man is not rich, they will be fine if he is ambitious. This is because if he is ambitious, they think he will probably become rich and powerful as he has the dynamic of that kind of male.
If you are rich, to be careful the lady does not just want you for your money, do your courtship with being romantic to her which does not mean spending money.
Lead with being romantic, being good to her, not with talking about your money. You need a lady who wants you for you and not just for your money.
If you are poor, be careful of pretending that you are rich, because in the long term the relationship will be a disaster, because you will not be able to meet what she expected.
What to wear
Something that makes your bottom look good.
The shirt needs to be tailored and fitted to show the pecks and arm muscles.
How women see relationships with men and women
The man is meant to be courting and adoring the woman, her needs get met and she comes first.
So for women it is all about them.
Masculine energy: Men are rugged, go get and take charge.
If a man is that things are about them, then the man is being feminine and not masculine.
Feminism
Feminism is about ensuring that women get equal to men. Men are stronger and have historically oppressed women.
As much as there are good sides to feminism, like anything there are also good and bad sides. Things can be used for good as well as evil.
Women may need to be more masculine in their workplace to survive and compete there. However bringing this into a relationship with a man can cause trouble as she is not bringing the feminity needed or allowing the man to do the man stuff
Some ladies have psycholgical conflicts between being feminine with a man and also being a bit masculine and even trying to compete with him for the saje of feminism.
Many women are highly suited to careers, but some are not happy with it and only do it because they feel they should and are actually wanting to be much more homely and looking after children.
When a lady is wanting to be more masculine in a relationship it is a disaster. Even worse when they try to compete with a man with masculinity. However men need to be aware of this issue if the woman wants to do this.
The answer is for ladies act differently at different times, be feminine in a relationship with a man and if they need then more masculine at work.
Often women who are feminists are very happy to be very feminine in the bedroom, but then the more feminist way when out and about.
However women need to be aware of their strengths in being feminine, the things women can do, are needed for and are often things that men cannot do. They are not the demeaning things, are just as needed and are just different Also men must not oppress women.
On a date today, some women are wanting to be so independent and masculine that this is hard for man.
Also if the woman does not appear and behave in a feminine way, there is nothing for the male to be attracted to.
Even worse a woman may think she has to be more masculine and then is not being true to their feminine, emotional nature and so then falls apart as she is not getting the care, support and love she needs a man. Such as hugs and so on.
More feminist women also have a harder time attracting a man, because men want a soft and nurturing women. If the woman is more masculine, of course she’s not so feminine which is what men are attracted to. They often wonder why they grow old and alone.
Also strong women need an even stronger man than normal to be able to be masculine in comparison them. It is a bit pathetic if the man is a weaker and not as strong as they are. Women will only be attracted to a man if they are bigger, stronger, more giving and masculine than they are.
Women wanting a man like their father
For women, their father was the male who used to hunt for them, support and protect them. They want to have this and in fact are annoyed that they have to sleep with a man to get this (men want sex).
A woman’s father was their first role model of what a relationship with a man should be like. It affects what they are used to a man being like, what they want from their man and the levels he has to live up to.
It can be especially hard for a woman to find a man if he was or is very rich, clever, dependable, capable and so on. This is because they cannot find a man that lives up to their father’s level.
It could be said that a reason why a lady wants a man taller than her is it goes back when she was young, looked after by her father and he was taller than her.
As a woman is used to the father as the male, she will also look for and choose men who are like her father.
However she will also then carry on the relationship issues, for example if her father was abusive she will expect her man to be abusive and carry on that relationship.
It could also be said that women are attracted to men like their father, because they are attracted to what is familiar. Also when they see such a man, they can understand him, because they have seen those characteristics before.
Men are attracted to women who are like their mothers
This is because it is the kind of lady that the man will be used to. As a result they feel comfortable with understand and I use to such a lady.
When they meet a lady who is like their mother, they immediately how that person works, can quickly and easily quickly communicate with them.
However if the mother is a bad person, or has certain negative traits, it means the man is always going out with a disastrous partner.
Likewise women are attracted to men who are like their fathers.
Man are normally attracted to women who are like their mothers.
If a man’s mother with intelligent, bossy with blond hair, they are often attracted to women with those characteristics.
If a man’s mother is stupid, timid with brunette hair, they are often attracted to women with those characteristics.
Of course there are many many factors of what makes up a person.
So when a man meets a lady who is like their mothers. They can immediately fully understand, work with and speak with them, because they fully understand them and are used to them.
However if the man’s mother was is or was not a good person, is too different to them and so on, this means they will find an unsuitable mate.
So after the male is initially attracted to the woman, next as a second stage he must consciuosly think about these factors and see if he needs to choose someone else who he will get on with better as a person.
Emotional support
Women also want a man for a emotional support.
Hugs, cuddles and so on are about this emotional support.
For a lady with all the challenges, problems, things they find difficult in life and hard times, emotional support from a strong stable man means a lot.
They need a good relationship with a man for this and to know that they can always speak with him.
Psychological support
Women have a lot of hormone issues and other psychological feelings things that makes them fluctuate more. As a result they need a man to be a strong rock for with them.
Also as women are on average weaker they do need a strong man to support them psychologically. Just like how a beautiful female ballet dancer, does need a male dancer to support them in their wonderful postures and poses.
Interest in them
The man is giving so he is:
interested in them
listening to them
giving them attention
letting them talk and be centre stage
asking questions about them
lifting them up so they shine and are beautiful, like the male ballet dancer, lifting and supporting the woman.
The man must be about her and not about himself.
Women want it to be that the man is so interested in them, that they do not want to talk to anyone else. For example they want it to be that the man never wants to be with his friends, chat to other people in the restaurant and so on, as he is only interested in her, her feelings, what she has to say and so on.
Some women even settle down with a man because he wants to be with them, wants to do things for them. It can take quite a long time for the man to demonstrate to the woman, that this is the case.
Self esteem
For many women, looking good is more important to them than what they have done in their life.
For a lady looking good means that a man loves them, wants them and wants to have sex with them This gives them self esteem.
So if a lady is in a relationship where the man does not really want them, give them attention, love them and want to have sex with them then they will not have any self esteem.
To get this from a man or men, a woman may even have an affair.
Women want a man who makes them feel special
It needs to be for her that no woman before has been able to have that effect on the man, as she is so amazing. No other woman is able to do that to the man.
It must be that the man is a wanting only that particular lady to do things with, it must be that the man is just wanting to do things with ladies in general.
So the woman is so special she cannot be compared to other women in any way. It is just her that the man wants, he does not want ladies in general and there can be no comparison as she is so great.
So for example, the man must never express that she is not more beautiful than other women, or better than other women. For example if the man has met her a year ago, even as part of a group and does not remember her, she will not feel special and it will not go anywhere.
Make sure the woman knows you think she is really beautiful
For women it is really important that they are beautiful. To many woman it is so important that how they look is more important to them than what they do in life.
This is also as she wants the man to look after her, fight for her, chase after her, court her and so on. The woman feels she needs to be beautiful to enable this to happen as then the man will want her.
So the man needs to make sure he communicates to her how incredibly wonderful beautiful he thinks she is.
Of course the man can say the things that make her so beautiful such as her eyes and so on. These need to be things today man really does find beautiful.
The actual words are not so important, it is the emotions, feelings, expressions, body language and so on used with the communication. So the man can communicate how beautiful the woman is with those things and not even need any words. If a man is using those words all the time it can seem excessive and fake, so can also use the other things as well.
Even in life in general it is really important to women that people think they are beautiful and most women will do almost anything to get compliments.
Chatting
The man gives, the woman receives.
Must be interested in her, let her talk about herself. Ask about her as you are interested in her.
Woman are not interested in work (men are as it is a hunter gatherer thing), football and so on.
Talk about what women are interested in such as gossip, celebrities, popular culture and so on. Of course if she is more educated and for example interested in art, spirituality and other things then chat about those things. It needs to be fun, things she is interested in so you can have a relationship as you have things in common.
People are most interested in themselves so that is normally a good thing to chat about.
If you can entertain her with funny stories then give it a go.
However do not talk about yourself as people are interested in themselves. So needs to be that she talks about herself and you ask about her..
It is tempting for a man to just show off in front of a lady and want attention, this is taking as is about yourself. Should be about focusing on her and giving her attention.
Lady feeling comfortable
It takes time for a lady to feel comfortable with a man.
To fall in love she has to have seen the man a lot, spent time with the man a lot, chatted on the phone a lot. If she has spoken with and been with the man a lot and regularly, then she will feel comfortable with him and fall in love with him. For the man it takes a lot of time spent and patience for her to get to this place.
She will freeze, be rigid and not like anything if not feel comfortable with it.
So for example if approaching a girl make sure not to invade her personal space and give her lots of space.
On a first date be careful not to invade a lady’s space if they do not look comfortable with it. Also not to touch and kiss them as well if they do not feel comfortable with it.
A woman may not know that she wants to be kissed but it will be visible that she wants it. She may also signify she wants it, or even do delicate cues to invite you.
The same with sex, if she is touched and goes rigid, tense, says it tickles it is that the man has not romanced her enough or spent time with her for her be comfortable with you. That is why lots of courting, romancing, spending time with her and foreplay is needed with a lady for her to be attracted to you and be turned on by you.
If she says she is sensitive when touched in a place so not want to be touched there, it could be that the man is touching it roughly making it unpleasant and the man needs to be gentle for it to be pleasurable. Otherwise it is that the man has not done enough courting, romancing, spending time with her and foreplay for the lady to be attracted to you and or turned on for you, so it is not pleasant for her.
The lady needs to be relaxed and feel happy to enjoy sex, because they are about feelings and are very sensitive.
Desperation
A man must not seem desperate to get the woman or a woman. This means:
1, Despair or urgency to get the lady: a desperate killer.
2. having an urgent need, desire, etc.: desperate for attention.
3. leaving little or no hope; very serious or dangerous:a desperate illness.
This is because it must mean that he cannot get a lady elsewhere because no one else wants him.
A woman does not want a woman that other ladies do not want:
1, In the same way that a man who is famous at a large music concert, or head of a large company will be wanted by all the ladies. He will be wanted because being famous, powerful, in charge, head of the pack, in fashion, popular. So he is will be wanted by other ladies.
So a woman wants a man that the other women want as well.
This is much like how if a coat is in fashion and so everyone wants one as well, so other women will want it as well.
So the opposite is true, if the man is desperate it must be because he is not wanted by other women, so not in fashion and so not desirable.
2, If other ladies do not want him there must be something wrong with him, or he is no good. Therefore the other ladies will not want him.
3, Desperate means that the man is wanting things. If a person is noble and great then they are not thinking about what they can get, so not getting things is not an issue so will never be desperate. The man should be about serving the lady and then of course he is greater as free and not dependent and attached to things.
A man will perform well if he is focused on service, if he is selfish then to get things he will get nervous, negative emotions, desperate, just think about getting and not get on with the job, so will perform badly.
So a man must behave like he is wanted by other ladies, popular and there are no problems.
The market
If the lady hears that the man has gone on lots of dates, singles events and so on and is still single, then she will not want him. She will think that lots of other girls have seen and not wanted him, so why should she.
She will also think that there must also be something wrong with him so he is no good.
Also the lady will think he is not the kind of man who will choose a lady and settle down.
The lady feeling like she is wanted
A woman want it to be that men want her, that is their sexual power.
Also to have a man who will fight, hunt, protect and provide for her, they know the man must really want her.
So a woman is always wanting to check that the man wants them and still wants them. They want it to be the man wants them and only them.
I woman wants to be claimed by the man, so that she is his lady.
Please be careful with this one, life is about service and giving. Although the lady secondarily and on a lower level wants to know she is wanted, the biggest, first and primary thing is that the man loves her and want to serve her. So it is not about what the man himself wants. It is primarily about the fact that the man loves her and wants to serve her.
Women want a man they respect
Women want a man that they can respect, this is needed for them to be a male figure.
This is also because an alpha male will be a role model.
She also cares that he will be a good father to their children, for that he needs to be the kind of person that children will respect, so he can be a role model and so they also do what they told.
Some women try to boss their man around, but once they are able to boss him around, he is no longer a man to them, she also then no longer respects him, then she no longer attracted to him as a man, finally then the relationship is dead.
The man will be the person who is the lady’s hunter, protector, provider and so on. They have to respect that the man will be good at that and if he is then she will respect him.
Affirmation
Women seek affirmation from their man. Women will seek a man who gives them affirmation.
The following is taken from ( http://stronglovingman.com/needs/need-4-affirmation-and-reassurance/)
Affirming her is letting her know that she is successful as a partner and that to you, she is more than enough. She is beautiful, she is smart, she is more than you ever wanted.
It is letting her know that she has value, worth and doesn’t need to prove herself to be special to you. When she experiences the affirmation of her man she feels greater courage and boldness to face the outside world.
Crying
Women will not respect and will despise a man who is weak and lacks courage.
Women want a man who is stronger than they are.
Crying means a person has lost things, is hurt or damaged. So ot makes the man looks weak or a failure. It also means that a person has succumbed and given into this.
Of course in reality a man needs to let his emotions be what they are; if he has lost a friend, family or someone else and he has that loss then he should cry. Doing anything else is repressing emotions which will lead to a them becoming weaker, coming out later at the wrong times or health problems from them being repressed. All emotions are the same river, so controlling one type, damages them all.
A man needs emotions for strength etc. So even though crying maybe seen as weak, without the other acceptable ones of happiness, anger etc. the man is not strong, cannot stand up straight etc. His emotions are his strength and so should not be controlled or pushed around too much. The river of emotion of all kinds have to be cherished so it can flow.
However if a man cries it can be seen that he has lost, given in to emotion etc. As a result the lady will thing he is weak, pathetic and has given into their emotions.
As a result the balance is the man should have free flowing emotions, be able to cry; but able to hold them back for the times if and when needed.
Some girls who have or had father’s who cry, or are from less masculine cultures, will want a man who can cry, otherwise there is nothing to be with them for or to relate to them.
Other women who have or had father’s who do or did not cry, or from more masculine country or cultures do not want a man who cries. If he ever cries it shows that he is weak as has lost a battle and so crying shows he is injured, or just cannot hold back his emotions. As a result if a lady like that sees the man cry, such weakness means the relationship is over.
Of course if there is crying through loosing a battle, the best thing is to be strong and so not loose battles so this happens less. Also being such a strong and together person that is okay even if have lost a battle.
For loss from loosing a friend or a loved one, a person should be very sad and of course cry.
The man also need to have full and free flowing emotions so he can function as a human being and the lady has something to genuinely interact and be with. Otherwise there is not a real person there for her.
Entertainment
Women want a man who entertains them, is fun and keeps them occupied. This can be a variety of things and each lady will be interested in different things.
For example it could be that the man:
●is intelligent and they do interesting things and conversations.
●takes her on adventures and different places.
●takes her to fun places and they have fun together.
●is funny and makes her laugh
Ladies do not want to be with boring men. Sadly this is something that can lead them to be with ‘bad boys’ because they sometimes provide more entertainment.
Flirting
Need to make sure do not end up just ‘being friends’
On a date need to flirt, show you are sexually attracted to her and give the girl attention.
The man needs to be a romantic partner, a sex partner, otherwise the vibe will not be there and she will just see you as just a friend so there can be no sexual relationship.
A person will be friendly with people like themselves, which is why girls will mostly be friendly with other girls. However you cannot be a girl or feminine, as the woman will be attracted to a masculine man, so in this aspect you need to be different to them. So although need to be like them so they feel comfortable with you, must still be a man and masculine.
For example Google defines flirting as:
1,
Behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.
“she began to tease him, flirting with other men in front of him”
synonyms:trifle with, toy with, tease, lead on,philander with, dally with, make romantic advances to, court, woo,vamp; More
2.
(of a bird) wave or open and shut (its wings or tail) with a quick flicking motion.
“a moorhen stepped out of the reeds, flirting its white tail”
So need to behave in a way that shows you at your sexual best, sexually attractive. However must not be lewd, crude, in a way that is unromantic, or ‘in her face’ before she is warmed up and comfortable with you, otherwise it will put her off and she will be abhorred and run away.
It needs to be romantic flirting.
Shared interests
A woman wants a man with the same interests, so they can lead and build a life together and have things to talk about.
Also different women are interested in different things, so one woman may want a man who is interested in the arts, because they like the arts, whereas another lady may be more interested in intellectual pursuits and want an intellectual man to chat with.
Being yourself
Must be real.
A man may want to act like they have everything all together and good, but women tune into what is inside. So if feking that everything is together, then the man can be unreal so there is nothing there for her.
They need to like the real man, that the man may not be showing, but this needs the man to let down his guard. This may feel dangerous to open up, can only do it with the right people. If the lady is a bad person should not be with them anyway.
Women need to feel that there is something to connect with.
Need to let people know your opinions, or there is not a person there.
What the man wants
Women want it to be that the man is looking for the woman of their dreams to love, cherish, romance, take care of and spoil.
They do not want a man who is just about take, wanting her to just cook, clean etc. like a slave.
The man must remember that whatever he wants, women are people and must be treated accordingly.
Persistence
It it is often that a lady is not interested in a man, but by his consistent and persistent courting over months, or even several years, the lady is eventually interested in him.
That level, amount and consistency of courting, that the man is continually saying that he loves her, buying her thoughtful little gifts, doing things for her and wanting to spend time with he. This eventually builds up to be irresistible to women.
Of course the man of course the man needs to do it in a way, that during the period the woman isn’t interested in him he does not become a pest to her.
So it can be done by saying things to her friends, that her friends will say to her through gossip. Also hanging out with her friends where she will also be there, sending her thoughtful little gifts and other ways of accessing her without being a nuisance, as of course at that stage she does not want him.
Conversation
There is the sex aspect which is important, but women also need to be able to talk to get on with the man.
There are things that have no interest to women for example often football fighting etc. So need to be able to chat about things that women are interested in.
There are also certain masculine traits which although are part of being a man, women find these things annoying.
An example is women like it when another person looks at and cares about their feelings and like that women do this. Women like to talk about their feelings etc.
They like that women normally do this often men do not. So a man has to be cautious to care about their feelings
Another thing is that women have no interest and are bored by many masculine subjects like sports, computers, cars etc.
Spending time together
It could be said that guys just go out with girls because they want sex.
Women want it to be at the man loves them and wants to be with them.
This means the guy wants to be with them socially all the time. Women often even get jealous when a guy wants to go out with his friends to watch football, at parties when with them talk to other people such as their friends etc.
Caring and looking after
Women want a man that will care and look after them. This is not just physically looking after them by being a hunter and provider, it is also emotionally and psychologically.
So the man has to show that he wants to look after her.
It means lots of cuddles and hugs so they feel supported and looked after. Sex for them is also about being loved, and the man showing he will look after her. So cuddling, hugs, soft stroking etc is essential.
Listening to them, caring, wanting to provide what they want.
Caring
They want a man who really cares about them. A lady will really listen and watch out for that. If in a conversation it feels like the man is not really with them and does not really care about them, they will pick it up.
Caring is not just an intellectual thing, it is an emotional and spiritual thing. It has to be real you have to be a good person and really care.
Women will be very sensitive to this as they are the feminine principle. They are about feeling so will pick it up. Men are more about thinking.
This then goes on to how women want love and this is the biggest thing of all.
Be careful not to abuse this though, as the negative karma will be huge!
Listening
The masculine impulse is to do things. So if the woman says she has a problem, the impulse of the male is to solve it for them.
This can be useful to the women, especially if it is a physical or practical thing that the man can do for her.
However she often just want someone to listen to her talking about it, her concerns and problems. Listening will not solve it, but gives her the emotional support and that is often what she will want.
So sometimes the woman does not want the man to solve it for them. Doing it for them can even be meddling, interfering and annoying for her if it is not what she wants. She may just want him to listen and this helps them out emotionally.
Listening is of course also important to find out what she wants and needs.
You are only interested in them
You only want them, you do not think about other women, look at other women, or want other women. Not even for a moment.
Women are very insecure about this one, it probably goes down to biology where in the jungle they want to make sure the male will protect them and not go off with another woman.
They will want to ensure you no longer want your ex partner and so on.
Never be desperate
If the woman hears, or the man lets it be known that they’ve been on lots of dates and they haven’t found someone, because nobody else wants them. No matter how great the man really is, the woman won’t want them either.
The woman will think, if nobody else wants them, why would I want them.
This is also the same the other way around, when a man goes in a date with a woman.
Women want the man that everybody else wants, as then he must be great.
If a man is really desperate, because he hasn’t had sex for a while, or really needs the date to go well, being desperate can give the impression that he’s desperate because nobody wants him. This nervous desperation also makes him very unattractive.
Intimacy and romance
For women, cuddling and holding hands and other things of intimacy, romance, and love are 80% of why they want a relationship, the sex is only 20%.
This is of course not the same for males.
The man has to do these things, because women like it. It’s also what warms them up and makes them eventually want sex.
Dancing
Dancing is a great analogy to learn about attracting women.
With dances such as the Tango, women love it because they can melt into the man.
For this they need a man who can lead. However they sometimes find some men just grab them which is repulsive so they instinctually want to go away.
Some men are not confident enough to lead them properly.
So the women needs a man who is strong enough to lead, but does it for them so is good to them.
The feminine wants a male who is stronger than they are.
Then they can melt into the man and be feminine, like the feminine is and wants to be.
Women want to be cherished as that is what the feminine wants.
Women like dancing as it is an intimate thing, they can often get more from dancing than they do from sex, as intimacy is what women want. That is why when a man is open and vulnerable with them (although still masculine as otherwise there is no attraction) it means so much for them
The male has to be masculine and the female feminine, or there is no attraction. That is why it does not work if the male becomes more feminine, or the woman becomes more masculine.
Women want a man who is emotionally available.
Then you can love, be intimate, romantic, have an emotional connection, express love and communicate with them.
Women want emotional intimacy.
ready8 Attracting women Leave a comment June 15, 2013 56 MinutesHow to be cool and not nerdyCool people tend to be those that have things, good things.
Nerdy people are those who have bad things or have nothing.
However this means having things on all levels, physical, psychological, spiritual and divine.
A metaphor would be to be a big strong powerful car, it not only has a big engine, but the wheels and other bits that able to control that power.
Strong emotionally, physically etc.
How you are physically affects how you are psychologically.
How you are psychologically affects how you are physically.
How are you are spiritually affects how you are psychologically.
How you are psychologically affects how are you are physically.
And so on……
Cool people deal with problems, nerdy people fall apart.
A useful definition
To loose your cool is defined as, to fail to maintain a calm and controlled attitude.
Nerdy people
Tend to be: anxiety, worry, nervousness, timid, scarred, stressed, hating things that should be loved.
They are not confident.
They do not things with any certainty, this means they are not so effective not as doing things fully and properly. They slowly do things checking and seeing if okay with others and so are second or last .
Nerdy people look like they find things difficult, can be seen on their face and how they move that they things difficult.
Nerdy people when faced with a problem do not stay strong and get on with it, they just fall apart.
They are so interested in logic that they do not know about and are not aware of emotions and feelings. The right motions and feelings, are part of what makes someone cool and not nerdy.
They do not know how to love others and things like that which makes them cool and attractive.
They also are not aware of their anxiety, stress, hate and, fear, cowardice all the other emotions and feelings which can become extreme and make them fall apart
Not know how to have fun and enjoy themselves.
Hate themselves when, they should love themselves. So they are full of other negative emotions and feelings which are targeted at themselves.
This hating themselves also means they are damaging themselves by doing so. This of course looks terrible.
If the person hates themselves then other people will think and feel they should hate them too.
Just like if a person sees someone else who is bad, or has done bad things, they may believe that person deserves punishment for the bad things they have done.
If a person themselves has done bad things, they may believe they deserve punishment and may try and destroy themselves and wish bad things on themselves. This makes the person hate themselves, instead of loving themselves.
So it is important to do good so that you think you deserve good and wish for good things for yourself as you deserve it.
Nerdy people are oppressed by others, because they do not stand up for themselves. They do not have the courage, bravery and fighting power to do this in the face of long term attacks that can come from bullies, people who want power over them and to exploit them.
This oppression also means nerdy people have even more negative emotions faced at themselves, such as fear for themselves, sadness at their situation, self hate and frustration at themselves and the situation. Also they become less confident of themselves and less self assured, which makes them even less attractive.
It is fine to hate evil people, you should love good and hate evil. However as they are upset at their own failure, they begin to hate themselves which is like destroying themselves.
As bullies say nasty things about them, they begin to believe it and they loose their self belief and confidence. It is what we think of ourselves which is the most powerful in how we come over to others and what others think of us.
We must always be servants of God and God wants what is right for all. God would not want us to be oppressed and wants the best for us. God is good and not evil.
Need to do good and not evil, also succeed at things. As a result a person will naturally love and not hate themselves.
The way we judge ourselves, is basically is no different to how a person judges another person.
Cool people
Loving, affectionate, courage, brave, confident and full of self belief.
They are confident.
They do things with certainty, this means they are effective as doing things properly. Even little things like picking up a cup is done differently as done with certainty.
They do not let any problem stop them from being calm and focused. They do not fall apart, or give up, they just keep getting on with it.
Cool people also find all things in life easy, things do not cause some stress or difficulty. If things come up, they just do it and for them it is easy.
They have all the emotions of sadness, stress, anger etc., but they do not fall apart.
Also staying calm at all times, not stressed, panicking or rushing. They can do this because they are brave and courageous, they know that if they panic it falls apart. The harder, bigger and more important the problem, the more impressive that they have have not panicked.
A crisis is an even more important occasion to not panic, do things at the speed you can actually do them and not be pushed around by the situation. You are in control of yourself, not other people and the situation.
They are not phased by anything that goes on or happens, so they can deal with it best.
It is very easy for person to stay cool calm and collected went by themselves and not challenged. To be a cool person they need to stay cool, calm, collected and happy in the face of difficulty and not get worried, stressed, and nervous about difficult things.
Panic makes us try to do things faster than that and it just does not work, so they are not done properly, it is not as good, it ends up being slower and you just have to redo them again. Panic gets in the way of the brain doing things the best that it can and at the speed that it can actually do things. In the end, taking your time means things are actually done more quickly and better.
Panic as it comes from fear, locks us up and stops us from functioning. The person is just thinking about themselves and what will happen to them, when to be effective need to just focuson the job, motivated by the needs and welfare of God and so others.
However if you can say calm, you can do things quickly, efficiently and well, even if you are moving quickly. Also you look great as you are not falling apart.
This is because your physical movements and posture will be clean, fluid and unfluttered. Also you will not have the negative facial and bodily expressions that come from negative emotions and feelings.
Emotional intelligence, they know about emotions and feelings, how important they are for people and in social interactions. That emotions are a real energy and existence.
Emotions and feelings are part of what makes someone cool and not nerdy. Love, courage, bravery etc.
They know how to love others and things like that which makes them cool.
Standing straight and not hunched over, as they are in charge of themselves and are not just being oppressed by other people.
If you live correctly then your emotions are clean, harmonious and fluid, you are in harmony with them. Can attack people, but only when needed.
However negative people are just oppressed and frustrated, so this is not the case. So in their resentment, frustration they attack people all rhe time when of course they should not.
Know how to have fun and be happy for the sake of others, so they get to experience it.
Beautiful people on the outside, tend to be beautiful on the inside, they do, are and appreciate beauty. A person can do good things such is doing filing for someone, but if they do not do it in a beautiful way, then it is not a beautiful thing, done beautifully for someone else.
Beauty is a wonderful thing that needs to be learned and understood in itself, for example it can be giving people beautiful emotions and feelings.
Love God and do God’s morals, so things go well and are rewarded with these things as deserve them. A person gets them as have them for God and others, not for themselves.
These all come from doing God’s morals.
If a person has God’s morals, then they will be blessed with everything that makes them cool.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 13, 2013 6 MinutesSelf confidenceIf a person has an inner self confidence, they will carry themselves in a way that when they walk into a room, people will notice them.
There is confidence in yourself, your abilities and in what you can do.
If you believe that you can do it, others will too, will want to be around you and benefit from your success.
This needs to be from the positivity of doing things well, not about the arrogance of being better than others and looking down on others. This positive confidence then also spreads onto others and benefits them, you believe that they can do it too.
It means you believe you can do it, know you can do it and not have any fear.
A person builds up confidence from the reality of their achievements, otherwise it is just a delusion which is a road to eventual ruin. You need to know the truth of when something is not working, so that you can resolve it.
To come over as confident you need to 100% do things, not do them in part or in halves. People without confidence are uncertain and do not do things wholy, properly and in full because they are not sure about them. This affects everything you do. For example some people even look insecure when standing as they do not think they can do that well, so do not do their posture 100% properly and just half do it.
People who are uncertain, look pathetic, especially if they are scarred, nervous and so on are a nuisance to do things with, as they are more of a liability than an asset.
In social situations it is about being confident in things you can help others with, if you do not believe you can do anything to help others, other people will think you cannot do anything to help them and they will not want to know you.
In fighting situations, if the other side thinks you are not confident, they will think you are a walk over and attack you. Also if the other side see fear, they will do movements to make you scared,blink, cower and make you run away..
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 10, 2013 1 MinutePowerResponsibility
If you first take responsibility then you are given power, it does not happen the other way around.
However most people want power without responsibility.
They do not want to take responsibility and want to have everything done for them.
For a person to have power, there must be a reason why they have been given it by others.
You are given a right to something when you deserve it, can handle it correctly and usefully.
People do not want to take responsibility for themselves and their lives.
As a result they let someone else take responsibility, then they end up just doing what they are told and that person has power over them.
They do what that person tells them to, even if that person is self serving and not doing what is right for them, but they let this happen as they do not want to take responsibility.
A person may also do evil if the leader tells them to and the leader says they will take responsibility for the person’s actions. Of course morally and karmically the leader is lying as this is not possible, because the person chose to go along with the leader and it is the person that did the action.
To get promoted in a company, take on responsibility after responsibility, especially easy to do if it is the stuff that other people do not want to do. Then you get huge amounts of power and until you become CEO, no one will have really noticed.
On an inner level, if you take responsibility for your psyche, then you can control it. This means a person can really be aware of, change and effect things with themselves.
Real power
Power does not come about from telling people what to do, it comes from a person changing themselves and this changes others. This could be their actions, views, feelings, emotions, spirit, connection with God etc.
By lighting a light in one person, it affects others, as everything is one.
So to improve and change the world, a person changes themselves and this really effects others.
A philosopher said:
A man wanted to change the world and he could not.
The man then tried to change his country and he could not.
He then tried to change his village and he could not.
Then he tried to change his country and he could not.
For a person to have power over themselves they must take responsibility for themselves. By a person taking responsibility for their psyche they they get control over their psyche. This means taking responsibility for what have done wrong etc.
Setting an example
A leader can say all kinds of things, but it is the example they set which has the real effect. They can say what they like, but without setting that example nothing will happen.
People needing and or wanting to do what the other person is saying,
People will listen and do what the other person says, because they need or want what the other person is saying and they believe in it. So then that person has power as other people are doing what they say:
- A doctor saying how they can be cured
- A politician with a solution for how they can get out of their problems
Normally the thing has to be delivered with total confidence for the other person to want to do it and go along with it. That is how politicians do it. Often what they say is nonsense and empty, but delivered with total confidence so people go along with it.
Ego
If you try and control things from an ego point of view, you stop God and the universe doing it’s job and nothing works.
Ethics
Power is given to a person because other people want to follow them.
Power cannot be taken, if the other person does not want to follow people and has to, in the long run it can only go wrong. This could be a dictator.
It could be manager a worker has to follow, even though the does not think that they are any good. The worker will not really want to do the things because cannot believe and trust them.
A person has other people follow them because they earn trust and respect by doing good works. If the manager does a show of force against the worker by ‘waiving a stick around’ and showing by force people must follow them, it will not end well.
Lust for power
Selfish desire for power is a dark, nasty and horrible thing that consumes and so destroys the people wanting it. It destroys them, hurts them and makes them feel horrible. People may think that they are in control, but the selfishness of wanting power consumes them.
A person may want power as they they enjoy it, are entertained by it, find it pleasing and pleasurable. The more power they have, the more they believe they will be somebody, important and seen as important. This is especially so for people with low self esteem.
Morally a person can have power because they need it for the sake of others, so they have it for the sake of others. If this is not the case then it may be there, it but must not be used. Using power for selfish reasons is selfishly having something and not good.
How to tell if someone is power mad or a control freak
The biggest one is if they cannot cope, gets stressed, agitated, angry, upset if they are not in control of a situation involving people, objects, the world and so on.
When a person wants to be in control of a situation, that is having power over a situation and so other people.
When a person wants attention and does things to get attention, it is because they want power. So when a person shows off it is to get power from the people giving them attention.
Other someone is a control freak:
They interrupt the other person when they are talking.
Override and direct the conversation, where it is going, subject, what is said, views, opinions and so on.
Even when the other person has said something they have to repeat it like they are the one saying it.
Have to be the person that said the last word in the conversation, this can include the last word in each section of a conversation.
•Speak more loudly than the other person, this can be because they want to force that they are the one giving the orders.
Normally this is caused by the person:
wanting to have power.
having a fear of loss, so they control as a defence, or attack.
Something to believe in
People want something to believe in. However this can be used by a leader to control people, as they are so focused on believing in something, that they do not see what is really going on. This can be s belief, philosophy, exercise, idea etc. It is done a bit like how a magician uses misdirection.
Cults rob people of self determined, own intention.
This is because they just follow a leader. Go into rituals which cheer how wonderful the cult leader is.
Everything positive that happens to a person is validated, by attributing it to what taught by the cult leader.
Everything negative that happens to you, told is because of lack of application of doing what taught by the cult leader.
That mind control is how people get stuck in the mousetrap.
They believe what they are told so much, they just go along on with it.
Someone to believe in
A cause of this can be that people want to feel secure. So try to find someone to be their mummy or daddy and fulfil that role in their life.
As a result this leader does everything for them and takes responsibility for the person, so the person becomes less effective as they are not taking responsibility for themselves.
As a result the person skives and not do what needs to be done, as there is no need, because they are secure without doing anything.
A person can be shown what to do and how things work. However the results only happens if they make their own choices of what they believe is right do the work themselves etc. That is being an adult.
A person can believe that they have been shown the right way by someone, but they must think for themselves, do things for themselves and take responsibility for themselves.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 9, 2013 6 MinutesMental healthYou have to love and respect yourself for you to be well.
Also if you hate and disrespect yourself:
-it is not good for yourself and your body, a bad energy that will damage and destroy you.
-you will be nerdy and not nice for other people to be around. People will be able to pick up that general dis satisfaction, unhappiness and frustration that comes from someone not liking themselves and being displeased and dissatisfied with their life.
The respect must be that you are good generally, however this must not be about being better than others, which also leads to arrogance and looking down on others.
It is about wanting things to be good and not just being better than others.
You can achieve this by doing good which means that you can love and respect yourself, if you do the opposite then that cannot happen and people will be able to tell.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 5, 2013 1 MinuteGood and bad valuesPeople who value power, money, sex and fame tend to want it and go towards evil.
It is not about these things, it is about good and doing the right thing that you should value. As opposed to bad and doing the wrong thing.
If you do the right thing and need power, money and fame to achieve these things, then you will get them in the spirit of needing these things for service, but not for own pleasure and engorgement. So it is doing the right thing which comes first and then leads to the other things coming along, if they are needed for that purpose.
All these things belong to God and not yours anyway.
Of course you may have a mission where power, money and fame are not needed, but you will then get whatever else you need for the mission, such as advice, teachings, energy and so on.
Of course you need to enjoy life and have fun, it is a human need and so is fine. There is no merit in denying yourself what you need, as then you will then not be in a good state to serve others.
Like all such things though, it should never go too far. It is a hard balancing act between getting the enjoyment you need and over indulgence.
So you need to value and worship God, who is morality, doing the right thing, good as opposed to evil.
ready8 Spirituality Leave a comment June 2, 2013 1 MinuteHow to succeedDoing what needs to be done to succeed, not just what want to do
A person normally knows in their heart of hearts, what needs to be done for something to work and be successful.
However they do not do that and acknowledge that they should do that, because it is not what they want to do.
They then wonder why they are failing, but in their heart of hearts they really know and think they can just ignore that factor.
For example the person knows that to be successful in business you have to take risks, but they ignore and do not acknowledge that because they want to have an easy risk free life. I also do not want to look at, acknowledge and do risks. So they lie to themselves that it does not matter, when it does.
The man who knows that on dates girls want romance and are interested in girly things. He does not treat the lady like a beautiful feminine lady. This is because he wants and is only interested in blokey stuff. He does not want to look at her girly psyche, interests and hobbies.
He does not talk about girly things with the girl, because he is not interested and so fails. However the girl wants to talk about girly things and is not interested in blokey things.
He does not understand women, because he is not interested in looking at the extreme feminine aspects of their nature and psyche, as it is of no interest to him.
As a result of not doing what needs to be done to succeed and just looking at what he wants to look at, he fails.
In the same way a person can fail, because they do not look at what they do not want to look at. Also they do not do what they do not want to do. However to be successful, a person must look at and do what needs to be done for the thing to succeed.
One reason people do not play the game by how it works and just do what they want to do, is arrogance. Arrogance makes the person think they are above reality and how it works. When they get to this stage, even the best experts advisors and people with the correct answers cannot help the person because they will not listen. Arrogant people are often very angry which makes it even harder to help them.
Persistence
It is the quality of a person’s conviction that determines a mission’s success, not the number of people doing it.
Persistence is essential. Most people fail the first time they do something and the many times they try after that. The person who succeeds is normally the person who tried many many times and did not give up.
When doing something, failure cannot be an option. You cannot go back, you must go your own way and be true to yourself. If you allow yourself to give up, then failure is more likely. You can try different ways, but not give up.
Drive, initiative and courage are also essential, otherwise a person in reality does not do anything.
Need to be able to take risks, the desire for comfort and security can prevent a person from doing this.
Need to be a perfectionist, although a human on earth never achieves perfection, only at the level of god is there perfection.
Need to try and do better and better, trying to climb, reach the top. Only god knows where the top is. It is a spirit of how things are done. This is focused on how well you do things, not about wanting to receive things.
The person is determined, so they do it no matter what.
Focus
Focus on the job of doing it and solving problems, not the rewards such as fame, power and money that you want to get.
Need to focus on what trying to achieve. For example if a person looks at the left when driving a car, that is where they will steer it. If firing a gun need to look at the centre of the target, as the body and subconscious follow the directions aiming for.
Need to focus on the aim, so can go there.
However must not be indulgently dreaming and thinking about the money may get from winning the competition, or the next holiday may be going on. Need to focus on the job.
Needed to learn from others, but over obsession with competitors means not focusing on creating yourself and taking focus away from yourself and what you are doing. As a result will get more and more behind. An example is a runner in a running race, who looks at other runners, they will get slower and slower as not focused on their own running.
Being relaxed and focused at the same time
Doing these things at the same time is when great things are created.
You are relaxed, so you’re not using up energies, locking yourself up with stress and good things are able to flow and happen in and from you.
Also focused to make sure you can perform at your best and do the best stuff. This does not mean focusing on doing one thing, it means concentration on the job.
You could also call it, loose but focused.
Becoming a master
Focus on doing one thing well, people who do many different things are not winners in any field. Yes it may be risky just to do one thing and feel limiting. It is also very boring as when one can do it well, there is less of a challenge and novelty left as you have done it so many times.
Other things may look better, the old story of the grass is always greener. From afar other things look better, you only see the problems when you get close and really get into it. You will probably find it is no better than a field you are already in, just more fun and exciting as you have not done it before.
Do not forget how much time and resources went into learning the field you are currently good and you already know. Moving to something else means you are waisting and throwing away all that time and training.
You may think that a different business does not have the problems and bad points of your current business, it probably just has different problems and bad points.
It takes many years to learn a new field, do not get complacent and arrogant from your success in your current field, to think you can learn another more quickly than you took to learn your existing one.
Need to look at every detail, what juniors may not notice, a master will as has been doing it for so long.
Things should always come out better than last time, or progess is not being made.
You may feel limited, like you are just a one trick pony, but it took a lot to become good at and know your field.
How can something so simple be so good, because ultimate simplicity leads to purity.
Also becoming a master in a field takes many years and a long time to learn, it is a big long term investment. Many people want things now, so choose opportunities that are quicker to learn and so give a reward now. These smaller investments often give smaller rewards, so in the long term never really achieve anything great.
Once a person decides their occupation, they immerse themselves in their work, fall in love with their work, never complain about their job. They must dedicate their life to mastering their skill. That is the secret of success and the key to being regarded honourably.
Being around the best people
The best martial artists are the ones who trained with the best people. When they are fighting them, they are mirroring what the other person is doing.
They can see what good is, how to do it, what it feels like and all the techniques.
This is why the gyms with the best fighters are the ones that consistently produce the best fighters. They have the best there, so others can learn from them.
If you are in an organization such as a school and you are the best person, you’re not going to learn anything.
It’s best to be the least good person in organization where everyone is better than you, so you can learn things. Than the other way around.
Being deserving
A person gets what they deserve, work on being more deserving and worthy. Look in the mirror and see how deserving you really are. The worst waste for a person is to try and get more than they deserve, first work on becoming more deserving.
if a person is a con artist they will not get honest people to do business with.
if a person is ugly they would not get a good looking partner.
a coward will not win a fight
Natural talents
Must do what the natural gifts you were born with are, for example if a person has a sensitive palate and sense of smell, if a person takes it seriously they will get good at it and maybe should be a chef. The rest depends on how hard a person works.
A person must also do what they like and find interesting, or it will not work. Especially if you manage other people, once they detect you are not interested in it any more, then they also will not.
Being liked
Not having a need or wanting to be liked.
So the person can focus on doing what will be effective, not on what will get them to be liked.
A need to be liked and approved of by others can be a huge barrier to bring successful and making things work. This is normally caused by insecurity and vanity.
People who do not need or want to be liked are the alpha males and those who succeed. They do what is right, needed to be effective, regardless of these things.
Of course if a person is hated so much, or people have such disdain for them that others ensure they are rejected, then they will never be present in a situation to make the change.
However the need and desire to be liked and approved of, can prevent a person from being effective.
Examples include:
An organisation where staff numbers have to be cut, even if without that the company will go bust and everyone will loose their jobs.
Fighting, even if the person being fought against is in the wrong and evil, they will hate you even more for attacking them.
People like the person who gives them things, even if these things could lead to their ruin, or the ruin of the greater world or organisation. An example could be giving away money that would later lead to bankruptcy, or have to be clawed back with bigger taxes.
This is because they do not see or comprehend, the long term, bigger picture, more advanced things of what is really going on. Also it can be because they only look at what they want, or do not want, they do not look at what is really going on.
Be okay with being humiliated and disagreed with
Whenever a person does things, there will be people who disagree, weather it is out of their own ignorance, it is against their own interests or they greedily want more.
It does not matter what other people think about whether it will be successful, the underlying truth and reality, is what will determine the success or failure. People behave how they do work, not how they think they work.
So if somebody has an idea, belief or conviction in how something works and they are right, listening to other people who disagree may mean they do the wrong thing, or a less good thing.
There will also be people that want you to fail, or who would like you to be like them and do their selfish ways that do not work. I recommend avoiding such people.
Not lazy and long term
Most people when researching things are lazy, so just make the easy decision.
Need to be committed to the project, totally into it.
They are also very short termist, so just make the quick decision.
This is a source of why they just do whatever other people say, copy and go along with what they do.
This makes such people especially easily manipulated and influenced by others.
Be able to face problems
Be able to face when got things wrong and not blame others. Even if it was someone else’s fault, you should have succeded as shouldn’t have been working with that person in the first place.
When got things wrong use it to learn and improve.
Go out and find the problems to solve and learn from. Not just have head in the clouds about bits you got right and how wonderful you are.
Always try and get to the next stage and level. You may not be able to do it now, but by trying and trying and failing and failing. As long as you change and learn from each mistake, eventually you will get there.
Having a purpose
Need to have passion, emotion and love what do.
A person will not be successful, if they are not doing what they love to do.
From a sales point of view, it is not possible to fake it.
From the point of view of actually implementing it, it is also essential.
If have passion for it, will do it, need to have this to really be able to do it all the time and more than anyone else.
Passion means a person really goes forward and does things, when others have given up and stayed behind.
Need to really care about what do and be interested in it.
Need to have strong emotion as that is the energy that makes it happen.
Money is then the by product, not the purpose. If have that, then will make money.
The highest thing is to do something because it’s right, for the sake of God and otothers. It is the most powerful motivation to really get someone going and doing the right thing. This is because energy will come from the higher worlds if it is truly for God and others.
Also have to find out what your purpose in life is, what are made for. For example Marcus Lemonis found out that his was to connect people.
Commitment
There are many people who would succeed with what they are doing, but they give up too early or do not do it properly. As a result it fails.
There were always doubts when doing something new, but despite these, have to do it properly.
If someone is not committed to doing it 100% and properly, they will not succeed.
A bit like how and actor goes on stage playing a role. If they are not 100% committed to doing it 100%, it will not be good enough.
General
If working with other people, need to be with people that believe in you.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment June 2, 2013 10 MinutesSocial skills (love)This is the elusive x factor, the magic item.
People want love and respect (see article on respect)
If you can give someone love, real love from your inside, your emotions, feelings, spiritual energies and so on, then they will want to be with you, it is irresistible for people. Also they will see you as good, as they are seeing and getting love and goodness from you.
For someone to receive real love is indescribably wonderful for them and a great, irresistible feeling.
Love means that you like them so much that you love them, think they are lovely. As they are lovely, they are immeasurably important to you. As they are so lovely, you want them to be well, happy and brilliant and you serve them.
You value their needs, welfare and themselves.
When this happens, you naturally open up to people, so that they can receive from you on a physical, psychological, feelings, emotions, spiritual and so on level, as you care about them so much. So there is an amazing connection of oneness.
The openess enables them to receive from you. To love someone there needs to be giving and then needs to be opened this for that giving to come out.
Love is the thing that will:
●It will connect you to other people as it is a connection where you are giving to others
●they will feel comfortable and happy to respond and reply to you.
If you are at a party and do not know anyone else, if you love them they will automatically like, feel comfortable with and be happy to talk with you as you love them.
If you hate and disrespect something, then you will want it destroyed, you will naturally be firm and nasty to it. If you love something, then you will care about it, want it to be well and happy, so you will let it have your good energies and so on.
If you hate another person, they will feel it and hate you back as a reaction and also revenge.
Real love is so amazing, it just cannot be defined. It is transendetal, which is why if you give people love when you meet them, they will want to be with you, trust you and so on.
Real love is a thing of wonder and joy, it is a feeling, energy and indefinable thing that cannot be feked.
Real goodness comes from above and you are just a channel, so you must be real and good to people and God.
Be careful to love good and hate evil, otherwise you can be serving the wrong thing.
Love
It is important to love and respect other people, this has to be true and real from the heart.
To do this you genuinely have to love the other people, it has to be so on the inside.
This comes from thinking about them and not yourself.
You as a person love them and this is for the sake of others.
The heart is the soul and that is also around the level of emotions and feelings. People are moved my emotions and feelings, not just logic.
To be able to love others, a person needs to have love for it to flow onto others and to be able to give it to others. If they do not have any love, then they cannot give any, as they do not have any to give. So a person has to have love, to be able to give it.
To do it a person has to be love, have thoughts of love. If at that time they have hateful thoughts of others then it is not going to happen.
Being affectionate, loving to other people, makes you in turn lovable and someone people love. This is because by being loving to others, you then in turn become love and so are lovable.
Loving people means you value and cherish them. You do things for them as you think they are lovely and value them.
It needs to be physical, psychological and spiritual.
Physical love: giving things to other people because you think they are lovely and you highly value them. You value them like you value yourself, or even more than you value yourself.
Psychological (emotions and feelings): emotions are deeper and feelings are a bit more transient, but both can be about love and affection. These emotions and feelings are soft, gentle, delicate, light and wonderful.
If they are harder then it is normally lust which is about you wanting things, please do not confuse the two.
Psychological (thinking): thinking about, looking at and pondering people’s needs and welfare. This is for their physical, psychological, emotional, intellectual ,spiritual needs. You carefully think about and are careful about not hurting their feelings and general well being.
Spiritual: this is about loving, caring about, not being jealous of, wanting to do all you can for and serve god. Ultimately god wants us to do the right moral thing on earth for people as it is god’s creation and that is the best way to serve god.
A view of love
A view of love is that it is when somebody values somebody else, more than they value themselves.
As a result they will even do things for this other person, as a priority over themselves.
The dark side of love
If a person loves another person, it means they think that being is so lovely and wonderful they want it to be well and happy.
However it is also possible to love having things which is quite different.
For example:
if someone loves the taste of chicken, it means that they love the taste of the chicken in their mouth, which results in the chicken is not having a great life.
if someone loves murdering other people, then the love of murder is not conducive to the well being of others.
valuing a bad leader and what they stand for, then harm will be done.
So if the thing loved is not for the greater good, then it can do harm to the rest of the world.
Hate
We cannot talk about love that also mentioning hate. If a person find something abhorrant, disgusting despicable and awful they will hate it, want to destroy it and get rid of it.
It is fine to hate evil, but be careful of hate. If a person hates things that should not be hated, then it is a dark destructive path.
People who hate other people have bad karma and are not nice to be around. Best to be a lover not a hater.
When you like something it is nice to be with them as you love them, when a person is with something they hate, it is horrible because they are with something they do not like. People may like to hate because they are putting something else down down, so in relative terms they feel they are better.
It is better to do things by positvity and love. If you would like someone to like and love you, then you must like and love them. Be a lover not a hater.
Hate is the opposite of love.
General
A real smile comes from loving others and God, then you will be happy, there will be a lovely natural smile and people will want to be with you.
The whole thing is about love.
Love leads on to other things people want, such as approval and acceptance. The idea being that if you love a person, then you will also approve of and accept them.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 13, 2013 5 MinutesSocial skills (being open)All the world is one, things may look separate but we are in truth one with everything.
If you are happy, well, enjoying life, having fun and things are gong well with you then people will want to be with you.
Your good energies, happiness and good feelings will go onto other people, like how perfume goes around a room. When they are with you then will feel happy, fully of good feelings and energies.
When you smile at them they cannot help but be happy back, your good energies have come to them and make them well and happy.
However if you have things that people do not want, such as fear, anger, hate, sadness, frustration then when you are with other people, these things will come onto them, they will hate you and not know why. They will not just now want to be with you because they get infected with these things, these things will also make them behave in such a way that is against others. They will be annoyed by you, hate you and not know why.
So you need to be well for the sake of others, so that if you are well, others will get to have those good energies that come from you being well. As you being well is not for selfish reasons, is for the benefit of others, it is in line with God’s morals and so you will be well.
This is an advantage of being good and not evil. With good, as it is for the sake of others and God, God will give you more good energies as it is for the sake of others and God. You will go upwards and things will go well.
If you are evil then God will not give you the good energies, you will just be a dry husk. Also as you live in fear, you will end up putting up walls and hardening yourself from other people and the rest of the world. This is to try and protect yourself from bad things attacking you. This makes you hard so that no good energies come out and then people will not want to be with you as they cannot get anything from you. Also as you are closed they see cannot you, as you are so closed up and so on. You need to be open so that people can see you, see in you and there is something to look at and be with.
All good energies come down from God, you are just a channel, the moment your ego thinks that the energies are from you, then it all dries up. You worship God and it is all his will. It is all for God and for the love of God.
People like to be with people who are good looking, have a lovely smile as it is nice to see them and a pleasure for them. People do not want to be with people who are ugly and unpleasant to look at as it is unpleasant for them.
However you really must have these things for the benefit of others, if you have them to show off that you have them, you are better than them, they are below you, then they will hate you. If you are a rich man you must open your doors so that others can stay in your house and benefit from your wealth. It is the same with your psychological well being, you must be open so that others can also be better off from your good psychological energies.
You need to be open so that the doors are open for your good energies to go onto other people.
You also need to be open so you let people come into you and be with you.They are with your heart, soul, spirit and connection to the divine. Otherwise they have nothing to be with and be involved with.
Of course you can only let people have things that will treat them properly. Some will want you to be well, others will be nice to you to get things in return. Some will just want to steal from you, take control and steal from you.and those you cannot let in. You have to change according to the circumstances.of what the people are like.
Personal life
On a more basic practical level, being open means letting people know about you, your personal life, what has happened in your life, what has gone wrong, worked well, your heart, passions, interests and all the personal things about you. People need to be able to know who you really are.
Otherwise it is like a person cannot get to know you and you are closed off.
ready8 Social skills Leave a comment May 5, 2013 3 MinutesBullyingHow a bullying victim behaves
Other people will treat you how you treat yourself.
If you behave like a victim then people will treat you as one, possibly exploit you and push you around. If you behave like a success then other people will treat you as one.
If you are bad to yourself, then it must be fine for others to do that too. That can cause people to be bullied and so on.
If that is how you treat yourself, then people will perceive that that is what you must be. No different to how if other people treat you like a prince, then you must be a prince. As the world is one, you are a person like everyone else, so how you treat yourself has the same validity as how other person treats you.
People look weak and feeble if they are scared, but invincible if they are not. This is because:
- Even if something is going to kill them physically and they die physically, if they are not scarred then the thing has not gotten to them psychologically, then they will continue and are normal and fine on that level.
- Fear makes people flinch, pull back and not be effective. Nothing is more scary than a person who will still persist, even the thing they are fighting will certainly kill them.
If a person behaves like they are weak then bullies will see the weakness and take advantage.
A person has to adapt to every situation. When with bullies and evil people a person needs to act and be tough. However when with non bullies of course can and should be gentler. It would be very bad to be tough around nice people as then are not serving good people, also they will not want to know you as not being soft and nice to them.
A person needs to be able to fight to defend themselves and when around bullies this side needs to be clearly visible. When not with bullies there is no need to show it.
Some people do things that attract bulllies
People can subconsciously do things to get bullied, consciously they may not want to be bulled but subconsciously:
they want attention. For example comedian that people laugh at, they get attention and do this by letting other people bully them. This is an expensive and painful way of getting attention, as the victim is being laughed at.
a person maybe in the habit of being bullied. The habit teen has been going on for such a long time they are so comfortable in it and do not want to change. As a result they behave and put themselves in situations which will result in them being bullied.
Playing the Fool
A person may play the fool as a defence mechanism, or to be liked. This is very expensive, demeaning and bad for the person being teased, so it is not good for them.
Of course need a sense of humour about yourself, but these motivations can make it go too far.
1, Playing the fool as a defence mechanism:
This is a belief that if play the fool, it will make the nasty people laugh and be entertained, so they will not hit the victim. This is a dangerous game because the victim is still the victim of being teased, even if the victim believes he or she is controlling it because they are the ones making the jobs. They are of course though making themselves the joke.
2, Playing the fool as they want to be liked:
This is exactly the same as what a comedian or a clown does. They play the fool and so people laugh. Less good people like people who re nice but dim. This is because they inferior to more intelligent and clever people and like to feel better than stupid people. As a result they feel that they are the best and so the winner.
Less good and evil people will like people if they are less then them and allow them to be put down and destroyed by them. They hate and are jealous of people if they are successful and better than them. So in a cheap way of wanting attention and to be liked by such people, they allow themselves to be destroyed by evil people. This is just wanting things from evil people and the price for this is very high. Comedians are paid money to behave like an idiot and be teased on stage, but some people do it as they want the attention.
So should be friendly with good people that want you to succeed and be successful and not do this. Then have no interest in trying to be liked by people where no good can come from it.
Being different
With chickens, if one is a different colour from the others, then the others will kill it. As Darwin said, it is the most adaptable that survives, not the most intelligent. So make sure you change and adapt to fit in wherever you are.
People are scarred of other people who have courage and bravery, so if somebody wants to attack you and you can you come up to them with courage and bravery, they will be terrified of you.
Stopping the joke from working
A person can never be made to feel shame or embarressment they can only do it themselves.
If someone plays a joke on another person and that other person is not ashamed, does not feel humiliated the prank has not worked. It only works if the victim makes it work by feeling and being upset. So the victim needs to act like is fine and all is okay and not changed.
Even better the victim needs to fight back, if they can do it in a fun way then they will not be hated by others so much.
Being the winner or not bullied means have to fight
If attacked, the recipient can still attack back and be the victor. If for example a person puts mud on someone, the other person can still use the mud as a weapon to make the original thrower dirty. If the person who was first made dirty is happy and sees it as a victory they are happy about then they have won.
So people will not pick on that person because they will fight back.
If a person is weaker than the bullies, they may be scared that by fighting, the bullies will want wear revenge and make things worse.
The person should train to be stronger whether it is learning fighting techniques, fitness, weight lifting and whatever they need to become stronger.
They should only fight once they know they are strong enough to succeed, because otherwise they will make it worse.
Some people maybe scarred to fight back because people will hate them for it. It is better to be hated for fighting back, than being despised for being weak and bullied!
Learning about fighting
A warrior must be able to cope with being hurt. Once a person has broken bones a certain number of times, they realise it doesn’t hurt as much as they expect and they do heal.
A warrior can cope with being hurt and that things do not always go well. Even the winner will be hurt to some degree, the person who wins if the person that can survive with the damage best.
In real life a warrior has to be able to cope with bad news, that things are going badly.
Fear will make the warrior flinch and be less effective at fighting, so they must be courageous and not scared.
The warrior must be angry to be able to fight, but the anger is used to defeat evil, so it is good. However the warrior must never rejoice and be happy that someone else has been hurt, because the other person is still life and part of the same universe.
Being hated is better than being despised
If a person is bullied, they will be despised for being weak.
If a person is attacked by a bully, the bully will hate them if they hurt the bully back.
However it is far better to be hated than despised.
Anyway, the person who is the bully is evil, so there is no point in wanting to be liked by them, as the bully will only like evil.
Ultimately, to not be bullied, a person has to be able to fight and win.
ready8 Psychology, Social skills Leave a comment May 5, 2013 6 MinutesJealousyJealousy can put people on a mission to destroy that which they want but cannot have.
For example:
So In a relationship, where a woman has left the man, the man can want to destroy the woman they want but cannot have. This can lead the man to want to destroy her, her life and so on.
Where somebody else wants a posssession they cannot have. For exanple man 1 sees man 2 with a Porsche that man 1 cannot have. This is because man 1 will never have the money for it. Man 1 does not just want to destroy the Porsche, they want to destroy man 2 who is the owner of the Porsche so that man 2 can never have the Porsche.
If there is a job someone would like, that they cannot have it as for example if they are just not capable of doing it. They may want to destroy the people who have that job, the organisation, everything about it to know what could happen can have it so that no one can have that job.
Another perspective on jealousy
Morally the world is one, so if someone has something you should be happy for them.
Sadly though most people do not see this absolute way of seeing things and just judge the world in a relative way. They can only see how well they are, by comparing themselves to others. They cannot see what they are against an absolute way of what is perfect and best and focus bon atriving towards it, like seeing how close or far away they are from God’s way.
These blinded, sleepy, ignorant people just think thst if they have more than someone else they think that they are okay, if they have less than someone else they think that they are not okay. However maybe everone is not okay, or everyone is not okay. Things need to be seen in absolute and not relative terms. These people often just resort to pulling other people down, they feel it is easier to destroy others than to do the positive thing of sorting themselves out.
Yet another perspective on jealously
There are limited resources in the world, attractive women, land, water and so on. There is competition for these resources, people who are less capable to get these resources may rather just destroy those people who can. However of course the world as a whole is worse off for not having those people.
It depends if yoy are a giver or taker:
A giver: sees capable people as giving and creative, without those people there would not be great things and the world would fall apart.
People who give rise and get to a level where they are with great people as that is where they deserve to be.
A taker: capable people just take, if they were not there then I can have it. If they were not there then in relative terms I am better because those better people are not there.
The answer to jealousy
It is for rich people not to show off and poor people not to be jealous of rich people.
Most people have a nice car or painting, not because they get pleasure from it, but as a status symbol to show off. Ti show they are richer than other people.
However as much pleasure as they get from showing other people that they are better than them, the other person gets equal displeasure from being seen as less good than them.
So the answer is not to show off, do things without claiming credit, showing off how much money you made. Yes, you may like showing off, but everything has a price, including making other people feel small.
Of course you must have your talents, good looks, money and all the other things you need to serve others and you have gained by your good karma, but showing off is something else.
If you do have great things then try and share your victories so that people feel part of your team, a bit like how people like great footballers because they feel part of their success, especially if someone is part of their team or a supporter of it.
There are evil people who just want to pull other people down from having the results of their good karma, these tend to be negative people who do not give, and they just take. If there are too many of these people sometimes the only solution is to go away.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 5, 2013 3 MinutesExcessive fear and how to solve itFear:
Fear leads to hate, hate leads to anger and aggression, anger and aggression leads to destruction and suffering.
Fear leads to aggression as a person is wanting to stop something from being lost.
A person with fear is wanting not to loose things, a greedy person is wanting to gain things, so greed can also cause these problems.
Fear can also be the fear of not getting something that the person wants to have.
To be nice to someone you are soft, gentle, open like an open door. To be nasty to something you are like a miltary tank, hard, do not let people see in, but of course that also means you cannot see out. Excessive fear may make you excessively like the fighting like a tank, when you should in fact be soft and nice like an open door.
The aim is to be able to go between each state as is correct for the situation, but excessive fear may stop you from doing that.
If someone has a lot of fear, as they have had it for a long time they will think it is normal. As a result of thinking that is normal they will not be able to see it, so here are signs that you or another person has fear:
1, Feelings of aggression and hate
As said earlier, if you have fear then you are scarred, to protect yourself you are aggressive and so angry. As you see people as a threat you begin to hate them. Once you are being aggressive and hating others then you do bad things and suffering can only follow.
You hate people as they are a threat to you.
2, Wanting things resolved now:
As fear is a selfish thing you want the things to be resolved now as you want the end result now. This makes you rush things which of course also makes you stressed, as it is not correct way to do things this way. You should never rush, or do them faster than the time you can do things, such as speaking fast. You should do things in a methodical way, in the time that you can do them without causing you stress, in the timescales that you can do them well and with a long term view. So for example with fear you may speak fast, move physically fast and not consider things properly.
3, Wanting to control things:
if people are scarred of things around them they want to control them so they cannot hurt them. They may also want to destroy it for the same reason.
Controlling things too much can damage things and not be nice for the other person. This is because it limits their freedom, it is you controlling them so they are not being naturally themselves and true to themselves
4, Speaking loudly:
So with people they may speak loudly, as loudness is aggression as it is like a barrier or block that stops people from being able to get through to you (also it maybe that the person who speaks more loudly is in control as they are giving the orders).
5,Speaking quickly:
This can be because you are scarred and so want to get away, you get it over and done with as quickly as possible because you are scarred that other people will interrupt you, mock you, hurt or even attack you.
It is also just a feature of the fear and worry energies, emotions and feelings.
6, Fast gestures and movements:
Fast gestures that also move sharply, like your hand or other body park moving fast, but also stopping sharply at the start of it’s movement and end of it’s movement. This is a sign of aggression and so you should have soft, rounded movements that start and end smoothly which is more warm and loving.
7, Excessive movements
The person has lots of movement with their hands, body, arms legs etc This is because of all the nervous energy running around and is a reflection of all their nervousness generally.
In severe cases, part of their body may shake.
8, Vibration in the voice is a giveaway of fear. Also the voice cannot make beautiful sounds that make people feel like they want to communicate with you. Fear causes the voice to close up and when you loose the fear it will open up with wonderful sounds that are interesting and engaging.
9, Feeling cut off from other people, you are blocking yourself off emotionally so that people cannot get to you as you are defending yourself from them.
10, Anger, fear leads to anger and aggression
11, Tight muscles:
Rigid muscles, fear leads to aggression and tight muscles is a way of showing that the psyche is cutting itself off from other people emotionally. This is because the body and mind are one. These rigid muscles use up al lot of energy and so makes you tired and less able to do things.
Being open and giving to people, is being soft and open so you can give things from yourself to others and they can get through to you. Defending yourself and attacking is rigid and hard so as to hurt others when hitting them and to not let things through if people are attacking you. So this shows that you are psychologically defending yourself which shows itself in your physical muscles being hard, rigid and tight as well.
12, Communication problems:
Hard time communicating with people: the block to defend yourself means you are blocking your soul and emotions from people so they cannot attack you. However then they cannot feel and experience you that people cannot communicate with you. So they cannot see you, you cannot be interesting as they cannot see and experience you, your inner psyche, soul, self. You are remote from others.
13, People not want to be with you.
Psychologically when you give things to people you are connecting with them, such as them having love, joy, happiness from you, ‘the doors’ need to be open so that it can happen. By you having these good things and the doors being open, they shine onto others. When you are defending yourself, you are closing them so they cannot get to you and of course they also are not getting things from you. It also stops the higher and inner energies that come to you from going to other people as the rigidity from defending yourself from others means it cannot go out to them. So you need to be soft so that these energies can come down and go out to others. You may not be scarred of the person you are with, but the fact that you are thinking about maybe another person you are scarred of, means that is where you are and people will not want to be involved with you.
As fear makes you are angry, aggressive and hate other people they will not want to be with you. People want to be with people who are happy, gentle to them and love them. All things are one, so the fact that this is the case means these things will come over to the other person, as in reality they are not separate from you and is the truth of the situation, their subconscious experiences this and you cannot cover these things up.
Also being like this means that, even if you are trying to cover it up, you are in truth being nasty to the other person and that is the truth of what is going on.
14, Inability to be aware
if you are scarred you defend yourself and so to do this you block yourself off from things, so you cannot experience other people. A wall may keep the burglars out, but you cannot see through it and it cuts things off.
15, Fight or flight,
fear exaggerates things so gets adrenaline going that may not be needed. You really move quickly and it is not good for the body to the person is not good at sex
16, Not being good at things and people thinking the person is not good at things.
Success is caused by being able to focus on the job. If a person is scared and nervous, they are more focused on worrying about if it goes wrong.
This lack of focus, attention, time, thought and energy on the task, because it is being used up on worrying and nervousness about if it goes wrong makes the them useless. This is because they are then not putting anything into doing the job and are distracted.
17, Excessively defending yourself
This is a big one and leads to all kinds of problems, it is a root cause of many of the other points above.
When a person is giving to something they are soft, when they are defending themselves they are hard, just like in point 11 ‘tight muscles’. However it goes deeper than that.
This is like the armour on a tank, or she’ll of a tortoise. They are hard so nothing can penetrate them.
A person is hard, has a barrier to everything and with everything, they cannot function and work with those things. For example:
a, Not able to be aware of things and tell what is going on: As a barrier to everything to defend themselves, they cannot be aware of things on a psychological level. There is a shell and hardness over their aura, so they cannot feel other people’s emotions and feelings, as nothing can get in. On physical and spiritual levels, they also cannot see things.
Even on a basic level, the person will be defending themselves from words that may hurt them, so not listening. Ideas that may be harmful so not thinking about things they hear. This may mean that a person cannot learn properly and do well in school.
b, Using up all their energy, a lack of energy: this hardness uses up a lot of energy. A bit like running with stiff muscles means a lot of energy is being used up, is hard to do, exhausting so the person cannot travel so far.
To create, make and feed this hardness, energy is being used up on a physical, psychological and spiritual level. So the person will be useless and exhausted as all their energy will be used up. This is impossible to maintain and will lead to headaches, fatigue, a feeling of being drained etc. The person’s body will be damaged by the lack of energy as it is all used up.
It takes a lot of energy to build this shell, for example the one above that stops a person from being aware of things.
They also have a lack of energy because energy cannot get in, they cannot get energy from the physical, psychological and spiritual levels. They are defending themselves from it, putting up hardness, so it is not getting in.
So the person cannot get the energies that naturally come from the inner and outer world. When a person experiences something, it is also energy they are getting from that thing they are also experiencing.
All things are energy and by cutting them off, a person is cutting themselves from getting energy.
c, Not able to do things: When a person is defending themselves they do not do things, they are so busy defending what they have that they cannot get out there, do and create more.
They are so involved in their barricades, putting up barriers, that they cannot get out there to create anything from behind their shell. They cannot put stuff out there and ensuring that nothing is taken away from them.
Cures for fear are
1, Selfishness
Not to be selfish about if you may loose things, or not get the things you want or need. Think more about doing the right thing, the needs and welfare of others, serving God. This takes away fear which is usually because you are scarred about yourself. You can be scared for other people, but as that is based on benevolence, sympathy and compassion it does not lead to the lower and negative traits above as it is benevolent.
2, Bravery and Courage
Bravery and courage, especially about the pain and hurt of loss. It is a good thing to feel, ponder, practice and meditate on. Courage and bravery means that the person can cope with, face and take the loss. They can live with and bare it.
3, Habits and traditions
Ask yourself if the thing you are scarred of is here now, maybe it is something that has passed but you are repeating the habit, your subconscious does not realise that it has gone, or you want to be thinking about that thing because it is predictable as it is in the past, a kind of nostalgia? What is the worst that could happen, is it really that bad? What are the statistical chances of it happening to you? Has it happened to you before, often or recently? It may be something that you needed in the past, but no longer need and now is causing you a problem.
4., Choice and using your free will
Make the choice to change, habits are easy and it is difficult to change. The old thing dies, as it is part of you it is like dying yourself.
5, Exposure
Expose yourself to the risk, normally excessive fear is because you were exposed to a small risk a long time ago, often when you were very young and far far more vulnerable than you were now. However as you are now scarred of it, you have not looked at it directly, you may have seen it with your physical senses but your psyche did not look at it. Now your mind has blown it up like a balloon so your fear is that it is sometime of far far greater proportions than it actually is. Not being exposed to it enables the mind to do this as you are aware from the reality of what you are scarred of.
6, Is it Constructive?
Is it constructive? Look at all the things you can create and do, that the fear is stopping you from doing. Things that you can create, do for others and get yourself. It it is far better to look at positive creation and go that way, than just fighting negative things. By feeding the good trees they outgrow the bad weeds.
7, Look at the good
Look at the good, fantastic and awesome things in your life, not just the problems. Look at the bright side of life. People look at what the different scenarios and possibilities could be, need to look at the good and best possible scenarios, not just the bad ones.
For example if I have a fear of heights, once get to the top of a high up structure and can see the beautiful view. The enjoyment of the beautiful view will be so much that will be greater and more interesting than the fear of heights
In all places and times there are good and bad things. To solve problems and progress a person does need to solve the bad stuff and problems. However as humans we cannot always spend time in the rubbish and need to look at and spend time with a good as well.
Also by looking at the good we can expand them, so they get bigger and bigger. Then often the bad things do not matter anymore as they are smaller and smaller compared to the good that is growing. This is like feeding the good trees in a garden, so there is no room left for the weeds and they die out.
8, Focus
Decide to just focus on getting on with doing something constructive. Choose not to allow yourself to get nervous, realise how stupid it is to allow yourself to be nervous.
When energies comes down from above they are neutral, a person’s choices, behaviour, way, posture, manner and intentions determine whether it will be desire, fear, love, lust etc.
So if a person is getting on with doing good and being constrive, this can even be resting to ensure they are going to perform well when they go back to work. This will lead them away from spending time and energy on fear.
However it is important not to oppress emotions, emotions are energy, we use them to feel on that level and area, part being human. Without them we cannot function, will not have energy, there will be no beauty in life and so on. This is simply about doing and thinking about something else, so the emotions and energies go in a different direction.
9, Physical techniques
Physical techniques: As the body, psyche, spirit, divine and God are one, changes with one will affect the others. However changes in the higher ones most powerfully over ride the others. Physical techniques include slow deep breathing, slow gentle smooth movements that start and stop smoothly. Not moving at all and staying still. Speaking slowly, quietly and softly.
10, Psychological techniques
For the same reasons as the physical techniques, try psychological ones. Such as thinking about, pondering and picturing things like love, calmness, rest, serving others, from a selfish point of view being fine if loose everything and God.
11, Hope, Faith and Belief
Look at hope, faith and beliief. On a lower level there is hope which is the opposite of fear. However it is important for the long term for a person to put there hope in something good. For example that by doing good, things will eventually go well.
On a higher level there is faith and belief. From a higher level hope is just sitting on a wall hoping something good will happen. Faith and belief (preferably in the divine) means that if a person does good, they believe good will happen. As a result a person believes they will not be hurt by evil doers and there is no need to be scarred. This faith and belief in good and positive means something good will happen
12, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Techniques)
These are questions a person asks themselves, to answer them they have look at the situation or thing that is causing their fear and then answer.
This means a person has to look at the situation and see what it really is, which is hopefully different from what they believed it is.
Also answering to themselves, means a person is changing their thoughts and hopefully their thinking habits.
Fear comes from a person thinking they are unsafe, so for they could ask.
Here and now am I in danger?
Or a more positive one to bring themselves out of it.
Here and now am I safe?
Others could be about a thing they are scared of happening and they could ask themselves, such as?
Although it is possible, is it probable?
Last time I checked had it happened?
Last time I did it, had it happened?
What is the worst that could happen?
When I looked before, was it there?
13,
Facing the fear in your mind itself.
To face a fear, the person is often looking at the things they are scared of, such as a snake, heights, being with people, etc.
However the excessive fear is in a person’s mind.
So while the thing they are scarred of is happening and the person is around the things they are scared. The best thing is to also look at their own mind. They should look at the words, pictures, words, feelings, energies, etc. in thier conscious mind, which are coming from their subconscious.
By looking at these fears directly and facing the fear itself in their mind, not just the thing they are scarred of, the person can see how the fear has grown out of all proportion and see it for the ridiculous things they are.
If the fear is irrational, the problem is the fear itself in the mind, not the actual thing they are scared of.
14,
Ability to fight:
The world can be a tough place and as much as must be kind to others, must always have that ability to fight if needed. The world is a scarier place if not able to fight and defend oneself.
This is not just physically, but also emotionally and psychologically.
When a person is fighting and is angry, they are focusing on destroying the enemy or defending themselves and not on worry and fear of getting hurt.
This of course needs to be balanced out by making sure it do not become a bully etc. However need to have it for when it is needed.
15. Formative years
This should probably be near the top or at the top. If you had parents that had a lot of fear, these will be passed down to you and you will have the fear as well.
You need to talk about this with a therapist to come to terms with what is real and what isn’t. You need to dig deep into all the attitudes, things you are worried about, ideas and outlooks you have.
It takes the time with a therapist to see deep into this, with all the different angles, experiences and perspectives.
Maybe your parents were scared of certain things, had certain ideas and outlooks and perspectives on life.
These could have been passed down through many generations. Even caused by experiences or mistakes from many generations ago.
You’ll find that you are living life not through what is going on right now, but by how you are set up in your young formative years.
Maybe things are going on with your family and you experience things that were scary. You think that’s life and how it works.
Maybe your parents were rude to you, didn’t give you love, so you have trust issues, insecurities and seek validation.
These things will still exist, but you can build new parts to yourself and grow and change.
16. Worrying is painful
Use your awareness and feelings to realize how worrying is painful.
Worry s a painful thing and experience.
17. Being paranoid makes you sad and depressed
You will also see and experience how being paranoid makes you sad and depressed. This is because you are experiencing the sad parts of life which are the things you’re worrying about.
18. Don’t get involved with it
Just like when a nasty person comes along, it’s best not to get involved with them.
When an irrational, unuseful or not helpful thought comes that you’re scared of something, just don’t get involved with that thought, do something else.
For example if you’re in a plane and you’re having massive thoughts about the plane crashing. Just don’t get involved with those thoughts, get on and think about something else that’s positive.
19. Be courageous
The best way to deal with fear is to be courageous, it’s what heroes are about and what makes them.
So be courageous, then you can be fearless.
A calm person is:
Never worries or stresses, just gets on with it, this makes them more effective as more of their focus is on just getting on with it, or constructively thinking about it. Focus worry and stress is of course an emotion and a feeling.
ready8 Psychology Leave a comment May 5, 2013 16 Minutes
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